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27503 No. 27503
This is my first time on an image-board, so please go easy on me... I have had this sort of story idea for a long time already and finally decided to bring it to paper – or bytes. The decisions you make have a great impact on the meta-plot but might not be felt immediately in the story.

-----

Despite the fact that the Kyôto University is ranked among the top universities of the world, studies seem to slow down considerably after just a few weeks of adjustment to the new environment. Japanese literature is, after all, not a very tolling subject and requires only interest and the willingness to have read a library’s worth of books at the end of one’s life. Thus, if a person already starts reading the required books from a young age, there is much free time, lest one prefers to skip ahead in the curriculum and try oneself on the required readings of the coming years. Acceptable results in exams can be achieved without preparation at all and when studying for them, the outcome is almost always a full score. However, the slowing is followed by a slump; interest in the academics decline and one soon starts to look for excitement outside one’s own field of study. Oftentimes this is the beginning of the drop of one’s grades, as the dwindling interest is directly proportional to the time spent on the subject of matter.
I was in this kind of slump after only three weeks into the first term, something that usually takes other people much longer; either it was proof that my personality lacked the diligence oftentimes ascribed to the Japanese people as a whole or I was that much of a genius – at least I seemed to have the inborn attribute of a genius to slack off whenever it was important. It did not help that I actually came from Tôkyô and did not know anybody in my courses; nobody would straighten me out like my friends did in high school. In either case, I was aware of the upcoming tests and doing my best to ignore them while pursuing my hobbies.
Ever since I was small I had an interest in the supernatural, especially in Yôkai and Yûrei; the stories my grandmother had told me when I was just a little child had instilled fear but also excitement in me. From Manga to modern books and soon classic literature, I was soaking up the knowledge about the spiritual world instead of the uninteresting things taught in school. I could be considered an expert in the field of Japanese mythology and folklore, but nowadays only black on white grades and certificates counted; therefore, my parents forced me into a field of study in which I could turn my excessive – and probably useless to the modern society – knowledge into a profession. Obviously, my interests lay elsewhere, as I had nothing to prove to nobody; I was simply interested and wanted to know more, preferably down to every single detail.
However, I had no illusions about the world I was trying to explore; Yôkai and Yûrei will never exist in reality and are but means to explain phenomena in an age when science was still unable to do so or even nonexistent. With the advances of humanity came the decline of mythology and folklore, and as an interesting concept I pursued states, “as less people believe in them, their powers dwindled and soon they vanished into their own world”. The romantic implications in this statement were not lost on me, despite my sober understanding of the fact that it is but wishful thinking. Even if they left to their own world, as long as it had no interaction with the human world, their existence had as much impact as the existence of aliens who avoided Earth’s detection.
Certainly, I was stupefied to read about the “Sealing Club” in the list of extracurricular activities, when I was looking for something to do to lift me from my understandable but unnecessary slump. The club description read that it was a club for necromancers, and I wondered why the university would allow for the existence of something so unscientific. Yet, I felt attracted to the idea and there were little other choices of interest; even though I liked sports, I did not feel like joining the competitive sport clubs that chanted about winning – an nothing else - and I was already in a literary field of study, so the literature or culture clubs were, despite meeting my interests, not a choice I would consider. Due to my excessive free time after class, in which other people had to quickly skim the books I had already read many years ago, I decided that taking a look at the “Sealing Club” would do no harm. I could always walk away if it was a gathering of weird people who tried to summon an army of skeletons or believe that Aleister Crowley can be found in their family tree in the form of a blotted out name due to a coffee stain.
The club room was at the end of a hallway, which resembled a gallery of rejects; all the clubs were lined up in descending popularity, starting with the Traditional Art Appreciation Club, followed by several avant-garde topics with the word “club” attached to it, no matter how unfitting that seemed. Finally, I stood before a door which looked like it led into a broom closet, with no classroom sign adorning the wall but instead what seemed to be a piece of scrap paper pasted onto the door signaling to the unlikely seeking that this was indeed the room of the “Sealing Club” they were looking for. This certainly made a bad first impression and I had to wonder what kind of people would lower their standards to accept such an environment to spend their extracurricular activities in. Somehow I just was not surprised that the club in question did not provide any humane facilities, considering its description.
However, I was wrong about the people attending the club, about as right as my first impression about the room had been. Upon knocking on the door, a female’s voice answered and I turned the doorknob that was - judging by the creaking sound it made - completely rusted inside, to find exactly what I had expected about the room; it seemed to be a better broom closet, only that there were no cleaning utensils. The owner of the voice that had answered the door was a blonde girl wearing a purple dress with white frills and a bonnet. She was sitting on a standard issue university chair and reading a book of which the content could not be judged by the cover. Her appearance was normal, as opposed to expectations; in fact she was quite beautiful and as a foreigner was instantly engraved in my memories. She continued to read the book without looking up at the person who had just entered the room, apparently not interested in whoever it was. My first thought was that she was the sole member of the club, but a club could not exist on one member alone, unless that was the explanation for the clearly lacking facility she had been given.
Despite the size of the room, it was full of books, folders and files, many of them labeled with names of places or mythological beings. It instantly piqued my interest, as it was my field of study; it seemed that the club’s description was misleading, since not a single object of occult could be found in the room. Sometime after my eyes had been wandering about the backs of the literature and compilations found on the cramped shelves, the girl closed her book and turned her purple gaze towards me. Our eyes met and without a word, she stood up from her chair and walked over to the only table in the room, on which an ancient monitor, the likewise ancient desktop and an old printing machine shared the space with piles of unsorted loose papers and two cups of cold coffee. From this observation, I concluded that there might have been another member in the club, although it could not be confirmed from that observation alone. The blonde girl lifted a few sheets of paper and folders before finding what she had been looking for; approaching me unabashedly, she held out the single sheet of copy paper, filled with lines of printed text. Apparently it was the club application form, as her formerly expressionless face lighted up in a slight smile when I took the paper in a slightly dumbfounded manner.
Again, without a word, she sat back down on her chair and picked up the book at the same place she had been reading previously. The whole chain of actions had taken less than a minute, but I felt overwhelmed by what had happened just now. Lifting the white sheet of paper to take a closer look, I realized that it was not an application form; it was filled with a few questions and answers in the multiple choice format. The questions and possible answers were more than curious and I found myself reading them all, disregarding the occasional glance from the blonde girl.
They read:
1. If you could travel back in time, to what time would you go?
[a.] Asuka Period.
[b.] Heian Period.
[c.] Kamakura Period.
[d.] Edo Period.
2. If you could choose to interview a mythological being, which would it be?
[a.] A Vampire.
[b.] An Oni.
[c.] A Yôkai.
[d.] A Kami.
3. If you were living with a mythological being, would you:
[a.] Create a cult around it
[b.] Try to make society accept it
[c.] Make it into a pet
[d.] Begin a friendship with it?
4. A nearby shrine or temple is torn down in your neighborhood, what are your thoughts?
[a.] I am sad for the cultural aspect that is lost.
[b.] I feel sympathetic for the Kami who becomes homeless.
[c.] I fear that it will invite ill fortune into the neighborhood.
[d.] I don’t feel anything in particular.
5. If you knew there was a world different from ours, what would you do?
[a.] Try to go there.

The last question was especially interesting, considering that it told the questionnaire-taker much about its maker. From this sheet alone I had been captivated by this “Sealing Club” and decided to join it, but first I would have to seriously consider everything I read so far and choose the answers.

>> No. 27504
1. If you could travel back in time, to what time would you go?
[b.] Heian Period.

2. If you could choose to interview a mythological being, which would it be?
[c.] A Yôkai.

3. If you were living with a mythological being, would you:
[d.] Begin a friendship with it?

4. A nearby shrine or temple is torn down in your neighborhood, what are your thoughts?
[a.] I am sad for the cultural aspect that is lost.

5. If you knew there was a world different from ours, what would you do?
[a.] Try to go there.

The paragraph is your friend, use it. You've got my attention, let's see where this goes.
>> No. 27505
Sorry for this wall of text... I'll never trust Word again on the format of things. Next time it'll look better, provided you want a next time.
>> No. 27506
>>27505
You could try deleting the thread and reposting it.
>> No. 27507
>>27506

Sorry for the stupid question... but how? I tried, but it says the password is incorrect.
>> No. 27508
>>27507
If you know how to use IRC, you could ask an admin to delete it. Otherwise, just don't worry about it. In the future, try to always remember to fill in the password field before posting. Put in something with a length different from the default so you can tell if your password was reset or not.
>> No. 27509
>>27508

Thank you, I'll remember that and be careful from now on.
>> No. 27510
1. If you could travel back in time, to what time would you go?
[d.] Edo Period.

2. If you could choose to interview a mythological being, which would it be?
[b.] An Oni.

3. If you were living with a mythological being, would you:
[d.] Begin a friendship with it?

4. A nearby shrine or temple is torn down in your neighborhood, what are your thoughts?
[b.] I feel sympathetic for the Kami who becomes homeless.

5. If you knew there was a world different from ours, what would you do?
[a.] Try to go there.


Interesting choice of following Hepburn romanisation to a T. Adds a strangely academic flavour to things. Not to mention it's much better than Kunrei-shiki renderings, which some have been fond of in the past for no good reason.

Incidentally, do you have an editor? Everything's fairly well-done, but I did notice a couple of typos and some slightly awkward wordings. If you're on IRC, leave your nick here, and you might get a nice PM or two.

I'm waiting eagerly to see where this goes. It seems promising.
>> No. 27511
1. If you could travel back in time, to what time would you go?
[c.] Kamakura Period.

2. If you could choose to interview a mythological being, which would it be?
[a.] A Vampire.

3. If you were living with a mythological being, would you:
[d.] Begin a friendship with it?

4. A nearby shrine or temple is torn down in your neighborhood, what are your thoughts?
[a.] I am sad for the cultural aspect that is lost.

5. If you knew there was a world different from ours, what would you do?
[a.] Try to go there.
>> No. 27513
[b.] Heian Period.
[b.] An Oni.
[d.] Begin a friendship with it?
[b.] I feel sympathetic for the Kami who becomes homeless.
[a.] Try to go there.

Also, do use notepad++ or something when you write, word is not very good for posting stuff to imageboards.
>> No. 27514
1. If you could travel back in time, to what time would you go?
[d.] Edo Period.
2. If you could choose to interview a mythological being, which would it be?
[d.] A Kami.
3. If you were living with a mythological being, would you:
[a.] Create a cult around it
4. A nearby shrine or temple is torn down in your neighborhood, what are your thoughts?
[b.] I feel sympathetic for the Kami who becomes homeless.
5. If you knew there was a world different from ours, what would you do?
[a.] Try to go there.

Edo's around the time when humanity started fucking over youkai, right? Sounds fun.
>> No. 27515
>>27510

Yeah, the formatting interests me greatly. I like it.
>> No. 27517
1. If you could travel back in time, to what time would you go?
[d.] Edo Period.
2. If you could choose to interview a mythological being, which would it be?
[d.] A Kami.
3. If you were living with a mythological being, would you:
[d.] Begin a friendship with it?
4. A nearby shrine or temple is torn down in your neighborhood, what are your thoughts?
[b.] I feel sympathetic for the Kami who becomes homeless.
5. If you knew there was a world different from ours, what would you do?
[a.] Go there.

Do or do not.
>> No. 27518
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27518
Actually, the early Edo Period is when Yôkai started to gain more fame due to “real sightings” of Yôkai and during the peaceful times they were feared even by Samurai. Towards the end of the Edo Period they declined into mere folklore and spooky stories to be told at gatherings (Hyakumonogatari Kaidankai), though.

I usually only look over my texts myself, but the last work was kind of... rushed, as I really felt like finally starting. The quality should go up with each post from now on, as I concentrate on it more. Thank you for your patronage from the very first post on and please look forward to my humble work in the future.

-----


While I answered the questionnaire, I stopped feeling the glances of the blonde girl, as she seemed immersed in her book again. When I finished, I handed over the sheet and was met with a purple gaze; the girl looked as if she was assessing me before turning to look at the answers I had provided. Her eyes skimmed over the page and it seemed that she came to a conclusion from the information she gained through my responses to the unusual questions. She walked over to the cramped table and pulled out another sheet of paper; this time it was the club registration form.

“Hello, my name is Maribel Hearn. As the president I welcome you to the Sealing Club.”

I had not been able to hear her voice clearly earlier when it had to pass questionably solid wood, but she finally spoke in a neutral-cheerful tone. It had a ring to it that could not be found in people who had grown up with the Japanese language from birth, even though she spoke free of any accent. I found it to be enjoyable and did not mind to listen to it some more, as she parted her lips again for a continuation of her self-introduction and welcoming phrase.

“Please fill out that form; then we can start with the club activities. Ren-chan will be coming soon.”

For one reason or another I felt that her way to pronounce words and phrases reminded me of somebody, but I simply could not put my finger on it; maybe it was just my imagination or I was over-thinking things. I quickly filled in the form and handed it to Maribel, confirming my enrolment in this small but surely interesting club. The blonde girl took the sheet and once again skimmed it, like she had done with the questionnaire before.

“So your name is Kagami Kyôma. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, I’m looking forward to your contributions to this club.”

Fitting for what I had already fantasized about her personality, Maribel did not bow but instead gave me a charming smile. Before I could answer, the door behind me was slammed open, causing the door knob to hit me in the waist full force. It propelled me forward and sent me falling right toward the blonde girl before me, but no comical scene where I would push her down or bury my face in her chest occurred; she sidestepped skillfully and I dropped to the floor without anything to hold onto.

The person who had just entered the room causing the unfolding of this unfortunate event was a girl around the age of Maribel. A black hat was adorning her dark brown hair and she wore a white shirt, tied with a red necktie, and a black skirt with white frills. However, from my vantage point, as I rolled around, the only thing I could see were her black leather shoes as they stepped into the room and dangerously close to my face.

“Huh, weren’t you just talking to somebody, Merry?”

Her words implied that she had not noticed me in my miserable state, lying on the floor holding my stinging waist. Before she could step onto me, Maribel stopped her and pointed down at me; from the astonished response from the other girl I gathered that she really had not realized that she had just knocked down the latest member of this club. The newcomer held out her hand and I took it; she pulled me up with more strength than I would have expected of her slender body. Her demeanor showed that she was an energetic girl and probably less composed, compared to the club leader.

“Hi, I’m Usami Renko. Nice to meet you! Sorry for that, does it still hurt?”

The girl finally introduced herself and performed a quick bow, during which her hat swayed dangerously but did not drop off her head. Renko then proceeded to greet Maribel with a hug, which was accepted reservedly with an apologetic smile directed at me. Somehow, I simply could not be angry about my hurting waist when faced with this third member of the club I had just joined mere minutes ago.

It seemed that all members were now gathered and would begin club activities, whatever they might be; I half expected it to be a club that read obscure literature and gathered unknown sources about Japanese folklore and mythology. However, reality betrayed my expectations, as the three of us were to set out to visit a location dubbed by Maribel and Renko as “a point of interest for this club’s research topics”. In fact, they provided me with a choice among several of such places, as I believed that my preferences were being tested.


The choices were:

[X] Yasaka Shrine.
[X] Yoshida Shrine.
[X] Jôbonrendaiji.
[X] Togetsukyô Bridge.


My two Senpai were clearly expecting something from me, although I was not yet sure what that entailed.
>> No. 27520
[X] Jôbonrendaiji.

Dat esoteric Buddhism
>> No. 27526
[X] Yasaka Shrine.

Any connection with a certain war goddess?
>> No. 27530
[X] Togetsukyô Bridge.
>> No. 27532
[X] Yoshida Shrine.

Completing the four-way tie.
>> No. 27534
[X] Yasaka Shrine.
>> No. 27536
[x] Yasaka Shrine.
>> No. 27543
[X] Jôbonrendaiji.

Hope this one isn't actually a tourist trap.
>> No. 27546
[X] Yasaka Shrine.
>> No. 27547
[X] Jôbonrendaiji.
>> No. 27560
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27560
Sorry for the delay, my laptop's internal WLAN card seems to be broken... and obviously I was not in the mood to write under such conditions. I hope that does not leave an impact on my writing though.

-----


The Yasaka Shrine seemed to be the obvious choice, as the Gion Matsuri was approaching and one could feel the spirituality of the people visiting it best during the preparation period. I felt that I needed to refresh my connection to the mythological world since I had not visited any shrines for a long time; my last occasion had been the New Year celebration of two years prior. Whenever I had entered a place that was representative for the spiritual, I had despaired at the prospect that the supernatural was just not real and could never become reality. However, for some reason I felt that with Maribel and Renko, I would not mind going to a shrine or any other holy ground; they gave me a feeling that they did not just go there to waste time trying to conjure spirits or the Kami, like what one would expect of a club with a shady description such as the Sealing Club's.

"I saw that coming, it was the most obvious choice."

Renko's response to my decision disheartened me, as I had not appeared interesting at all due to my way of normal thinking. Maribel only smiled and donned a coat over her purple dress, while Renko put on the jacket she had been carrying under her arm. Even though it was nearing summer, the nights were still not to be trifled with and people came down with a cold due to carelessness. I was no exception to that and had not learned from many previous cases of fevers and running noses, despite my ability to learn from almost all my other mistakes. Maybe I just did not consider it important enough or it did not register in my conscious thought that I would be wasting days in bed if I were to fall ill again. Thus, I was clearly not wearing enough for the chilly late spring nights in Kyôto, and even though we went by bus, I still could not help but shiver from the cold when we arrived.

It was not even seven in the evening, but as Japan did not incorporate the daylight savings time system, the sky was already darkening, as the sun tinted the clouds in a beautiful red. The view as we approached the Yasaka Shrine was magnificent and I felt as if I had been sent back in time, to an age in which people still believed that there were mysteries that could never be explained by man. The two girls walking in front of me walked towards the shrine's entrance and occasionally turned around to see whether I was following them. I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders; the slump I had been in lately seemed to have disappeared. I realized that despite the expansion of science and its knowledge, people who thought like I did could be found even today. However, I was also wondering how quickly my mood had improved and my path in life been corrected after only about an hour of conversing with the other two members of the club I had joined on a whim.

Renko showed me an expression that seemed to say "all in a day's work" when she noticed the puzzlement on my face at that realization. As the shrine was free of admission, we walked in through the little park surrounding the main shrine area. Maribel did not stop and continued to walk and soon we approached the south entrance; I wondered where she was headed, but did not say anything. However, as we left the shrine grounds, I scratched my head and looked back several times, unsure of how to judge the blonde girl's behavior. Renko did not seem to mind the changed destination and followed Maribel without any questions.

"Where exactly are we going?"

I finally could not hold myself back from asking, especially since staying outside for much longer in the streets would only increase the possibility that I would miss club activities for several days to come due to catching a cold. Then, I saw the Yasaka Pagoda, three of its five square-shaped roofs visible against the orange-red background that was the sky changing into its evening dress.

Maribel's silence made it clear that she had noticed my expression and that I did not expect a response to my question anymore. Even though it was called the Yasaka Pagoda, it was not on the Yasaka Shrine grounds but rather part of the Hokanji, a Buddhist temple. When speaking of a temple though, the Hokanji was only a collection of a few small buildings surrounded by an old residential area. The pagoda's floodlights were already switched on, although the roof tiles remained dark, appearing black in the dark red sky. The sunlight was fading noticeably and soon I could see stars taking its place to illuminate the night, albeit their efforts were unsuccessful. Street lights were scarce in this area and we proceeded to walk in the twilight until we reached the temple grounds, at which point the sun's reach had completely disappeared behind the horizon, leaving the city in a war between its lights and the darkness of the night, which would be ended by the morning sun.

"Now that I think about it, what did we come here to do?"

The question finally took form in my mind, as I had not been able to think about it earlier and I promptly voiced it; the air was getting colder and I was starting to seriously freeze, so my brain was trying to find ways to get out of the situation. One such way included questioning the authority that had led me to this place, leaving out the fact that it had been my idea to visit the Yasaka Shrine, resulting in the detour to the pagoda.

"We told you that to find the existence of the supernatural and parallel worlds, and proving it is the goal of this club, right?"

Turning around, Maribel was the one to answer my question, as she seemed to be leading today's field trip. However, Renko followed her example and picked up the conversation when I merely nodded in response.

"Well, we're already over the 'finding' part."

Upon her wide grin, my face turned blank in astonishment; my mind did not seem to be able to comprehend that outrageous statement, spoken with such confidence. I turned my gaze to Maribel, who seemed to agree with Renko's words, then back to the latter. For a second I thought I had heard wrong, for the following I thought they were playing me for a fool; however, part of me wanted to believe them, which was also the part that kept me there. If I had been a person with a little less interest in mythology and folklore, I might have simply walked away from the situation and forgotten about that day.

"What do you mean by that?"

Yet, I would not simply believe everything somebody told me, inquiring for more despite knowing that either their facade would collapse now and they would both start to laugh at the expression I had been showing on my face ever since Renko's revelation, or they would provide evidence for their claim. I was aware of the fact that the former outcome was more likely, but secretly I wished that it would be the latter.

"That we already reached half of our club's final goal. We are thinking of ways to prove the existence of what we found."

It was Maribel again, who answered me.

"Why would you have to think of a way to prove it? Just show it as evidence."

I was aware that these two university students before me already had considered that option, but something must have been adding complexity to the matter and eliminated the obvious and simple solutions. However, my brain did not seem to work properly as it was still processing the implications of Maribel and Renko's claim.

"I can show it to you, but only because it is you."

Before I could ask what it was that she wanted to show me or why I received such special treatment, space itself seemed to split before my eyes. My consciousness wavered and I suddenly stopped feeling my legs, before I realized that it was not just my legs but rather my whole body which felt like it had vanished. A calm part of me coldly ascribed it to an out-of-body experience, but that realization was of no significance, as I tried to regain my mental balance. The scenery of the temple with the Yasaka Pagoda had already been replaced by a psychedelic flow of various colors, of which purple was strangely the predominant one. Everything around me seemed to spiral towards one direction and my perception was not exempt from the pull of this unknown source, as I came to face it involuntarily. The colors accelerated and became a blur, to the point where they started to melt together to form pure whiteness.

Then I could suddenly feel my body again, as a strong wind howled in my ears, returning another one of my senses. At almost the same time my eyesight returned, having been blinded by the light before; it served to show me that I was in a predicament. The howling wind came from the fact that I was falling from high up in the sky.

Maybe the adrenaline rushed into my blood at that realization, before panic could take hold of me, but a calmness overcame me in that moment. I did not feel like I was falling but rather flying, over a scenery I had never seen before, and noticed that I was alone. My vision was filled by a beautiful landscape that was engulfed in the light of stars, unchallenged by the advances of human illumination. A big full moon, bigger than I had ever seen before, seemed to be within my grasping range, but my gaze turned downwards, to the forests, fields and mountains. I could see a village not far from where I would leave a staying impression in the earth, but right below me I saw the side of the one mountain that seemed to be the tallest in the area.

"Great, a sooner end."

The fact that I could still be cynical at this point of time proved that a part of me did not believe that this was reality. Thus I was able to assess that the place I was falling towards was in fact a shrine; the irony of this circumstance was not lost on me, as my eyes searched for a way to survive the crash. A shrine usually had a well, although on second though I realized that they also had a wooden ceiling, and any impact from the height I came from would surely be fatal. Right at that moment, I realized something flying past me, but my eyes had not been fast enough to follow it; however, I had been able to see what seemed to be black feathers, so I assessed that it must have been a crow. The next moment, I wondered why I even used any brain capacity on something unrelated shortly before my unavoidable death; I should have been looking for a way to save myself.

A little more time passed, long enough for me to realize my impotence at the situation, before I saw two people at the shrine. It seemed that I would not only leave an impact on the ground, but then I noticed something strange about the two, who I realized were females. One wore a strange hat and the other had a ring on her back. However, before I could see any more, I hit the floor and the world went black before I even felt anything.

-----

I opened my eyes in shock and sat up from a lying position, realizing in the next moment that I was in my own room and sitting on my bed. The experience from mere moments ago suddenly felt so distant, as if it had been nothing but a dream, something that became hazier the more you tried to recall it. However, I was unsure about how much of what I had seen had been but a dream; had I actually joined the Sealing Club, in which Maribel and Renko had been the only members before my addition? Did I have any proof that it had been real? I looked at the alarm clock, which showed a nightmarish two in the afternoon, and laid back in my bed; classes had already ended for me today, so there was no point in stressing myself out. Then I noticed the dizziness, like a wave coming over my mind; feeling my forehead, I realized that I was down with a fever.

However, I needed answers and if I went to the Sealing Club's "clubroom", I would find them for sure. If it had all been a dream, it had not been a bad one.


[X] Go to the Sealing Club right now.
[X] Stay in bed and try to recall the dream or the memories.
[X] Go back to sleep and cure myself.
>> No. 27561
[X] Go to the Sealing Club right now
>> No. 27564
[X] Go to the Sealing Club right now.

Is this a Dream, is this Reality?
>> No. 27565
[X] Go to the Sealing Club right now.
>> No. 27586
[X] Stay in bed and try to recall the dream or the memories.
>> No. 27590
[X] Go to the Sealing Club right now.

>>27564
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality
>> No. 27591
>>27590
But what if the Sealing Club was just a dream as well?
>> No. 27594
[X] Go to the Sealing Club right now.
>> No. 27598
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27598
I made up my mind and got up from bed, disregarding the waves of dizziness that were assaulting me. It seemed that my cold was worse than I had thought, but it would not keep me from getting answers to all the questions that were buzzing around in my head; I did not realize that not the questions but my head itself was buzzing. Pushing myself to dress up properly, in spite of my developing headache that was adding difficulty to my concentration, I ignored my condition. I was ready to forgo breakfast - or rather lunch, considering the time - to get to the Sealing Club as quickly as possible.

Within less than half an hour I had dressed, brushed my teeth and tried to make my hair into at least a presentable mess. Putting on my shoes sloppily, I rushed out of the house - only to hit somebody upon opening the outwards swinging door. From the sound the person made, I gathered that she was female, and upon closer inspection of the other side I found Usami Renko kneeling on the floor, holding her side. It seemed that the protruding doorknob had prevented her from hitting her nose, but the alternative had not been much better, as the force had been concentrated on her hip.

"I'm sorry, are you alright?"

Despite my condition, my reaction time did not seem to be delayed, as I instantly apologized and held out a hand to help her up. She took it and I pulled her to a standing position, noticing how light she was. However, a question popped up in my mind at that very moment and overshadowed all the others that had been occupying me before.

"Wait, what are you doing here?"

Renko dusted off her skirt and looked at me with a skeptical expression, which was accentuated by the tears in the corners of her eyes; the hit seemed to have been a hard one, enough to make tears well up.

"I came to look up on you. Merry and I carried you home when you suddenly collapsed yesterday."

Her answer seemed to explain the situation well enough and I accepted it, even though I wondered how they knew where I lived.

"Merry knew your address because she was still holding onto your club registration form."

As if she had read my mind, Renko explained the last part of the puzzle and proceeded to take a closer look at me.

"You... don't look well. Where did you want to go just now?"

Her voice and expression clearly showed her disapproval of me being out of bed, but then her face showed concern upon seeing my condition; my breath was irregular, my cheeks were flushed due to the heat in my head and even while standing in place I was wavering. My headache had disappeared for a moment upon seeing Renko, but it had returned with all its ferocity, assaulting me relentlessly.

Moments later I felt myself falling forward, my unstable legs failing to keep me standing, as all strength seemed to leave my feverish body. I had enough presence of mind to at least think that it had been a bad idea to be so rash, to get up from bed despite my severe cold and try to rush to university without eating something first.

"Woah!"

That was all Renko could utter before I fell into her arms, as she supported my limp body; I could feel her warmth and I noticed that she had a nice smell. It soothed my mind, which seemed to follow the example of my body and began to fail and try to fade into unconsciousness. The darkness encroached on me and soon I was enveloped by oblivion, my last thought being that I felt secure in the arms of my Senpai.

-----

I woke up in my bed once again, somehow feeling cured; lifting a hand and putting it onto my forehead, I noticed that my fever had receded. I felt another presence in the room and when I sat up I saw Renko leaning on my bed, resting her head on her arms and apparently fast asleep. Her sleeping face was slightly distorted from her surely uncomfortable position, but the situation put a smile on my lips. I tried to get off the bed without waking her up, but it seemed that I was unsuccessful in my endeavors; I heard a moan from Renko when I was about to get off of the bed.

Turning back I found her raising her head and peering around, looking disoriented; she rubbed her eyes sleepily and turned to look at the pillow. It took her a second to realize that I was not there anymore, although she seemed to have not noticed me sitting on the other end of the bed.

"Wah!"

She suddenly jumped up and turned to look through the room, making a whole spin around her own axis before finally seeing me. I responded with a slight wave and an awkward "good morning", but in the next moment I realized that this kind of flippant greeting would surely receive a scolding. However, Renko only shook her head, scratched it and looked at me.

"Really, you collapsed two times already. You should take better care of your body."

Just when I thought she would not scold me, she just did, although her voice was a sympathetic one rather than an angry one. She seemed to be genuinely concerned about me and it made me feel cared for.

"I'm sorry to have worried you."

I responded with a little bow from my sitting position and prepared to get up from the bed, but my eyes met Renko's.

"Your actions don't match your words... Why are you getting up?"

"I feel much better now, so I thought I should move my body around a little."

I received an answer in form of a glare and shrank under it.

"You have been out for two days. Merry and I took care of you, since we couldn't contact any of your relatives."

Renko showed an expression I had only ever seen on my mother's face, when I had done something that had made her fear for my health. It made me feel bad and I had the urge to repay their kindness; I knew that this would not be done by going and collapsing again due to overexerting myself right after getting better. However, the questions in my head had not faded even after I had fainted, and they were burning more than my fever from before.

"I am very sorry. Thank you for looking after me. I don't know how I can repay that debt."

"As long as you understand, it's ok."

Renko blushed slightly, when I got off the bed and formally knelt on the floor and prostrated myself for the apology and expression of thanks. She seemed uneasy at the prospect of being on the receiving end of such formality and quickly motioned for me to get back up again.

"I made some porridge for you, so eat it while it's hot."

With these words, she stood up and went to the kitchen partition of my small, single-room apartment. I was only a university student and could not afford anything better, but I felt that it was certainly not a place to bring a girl to; therefore, I was slightly embarrassed seeing Renko working in my home. She brought a bowl with steaming porridge and handed it to me, with a smile, apparently having completely recovered from before. Grateful for something to eat, I took the spoon and began my meal; I had not eaten anything for days and my stomach was growling the moment I smelled any food at all.

I ate slowly since I did not want to ruin my stomach right after recovering from a fever, so we had enough time to talk. Finally, I was able to ask all the things I had been unable to when I had last woken up, and to my surprise I received answers to every single question I posed. Renko told me that Maribel had the ability to see the borders between worlds, and had recently increased her proficiency in it to the point that she could take others with her. Apparently the places she saw were all in the same world, of which neither of them knew the name. However, they had been able to confirm that that world was like a Japan of a past age, although there was one exceptional difference.

"There are mythological beings in that world, such as Kami and Yôkai, among others."

The last image of my long fall from the sky suddenly flashed before my eyes; I remembered it as if it had been burnt into my retinas. Two figures in traditional garments, one with a strange hat and the other with what seemed to have been a Shimenawa on her back. Now that Renko had mentioned Kami I was finally able to associate the feeling I had had when I had laid eyes upon them; it had been awe at the overwhelming presence of these two individuals. In retrospect I had had too little time to think about what I had seen at that moment, but now I was sure that it had not been a different place but a different world altogether.

"When I saw that world which Maribel-san is able to travel to, I was falling from the sky... Could that be done better?"

Maybe it had been because of my cold that had been developing or because it had been my first time, that I had fallen instead of having awoken on the ground. However, I hoped that next time I would not have to experience the same again. Yet, I was absolutely sure that I would want to try and see the vision Maribel had shown me again.

"Well, my first time with Maribel was a somewhat similar experience..."

Renko explained that she had arrived separated from Maribel and fallen into a mountain river, been dragged down the stream for a long time. When she had finally arrived in a place where she could get out of the current, she had been attacked by a Yôkai, one she described as a Kappa. That had been when she had woken up again, gasping for air as if she had been drowning. However, I noticed a certain distinction between our cases; I had not woken up afterwards but instead lost consciousness.

"Next time I will make sure that I am better prepared for it."

I tried to make a dependable looking expression and clenched my fist, upon which Renko smiled gently and stood up from her Zabuton. It seemed that she was getting ready to leave, as the sky outside was darkening by the minute, but I was sure that by the time she arrived home it would be completely dark outside. Maybe it was time to start repaying my debt by seeing her home, although she might refuse on account of my still unstable health; I still felt a little wobbly, but I could not let a girl go home alone in the dark.


[X] I'll take her all the way to her home.
[X] I better rest, I'm feeling dizzy and don't want to cause her trouble again.
>> No. 27600
[X] I better rest, I'm feeling dizzy and don't want to cause her trouble again.

As much as I'd like to walk Renko home, It'd be for nothing if we passed out yet again.
>> No. 27601
[X] I better rest, I'm feeling dizzy and don't want to cause her trouble again.

It's kyoto, the streets are some of the safest around and she'll be seriously pissed if you collapse again.
>> No. 27602
[X] I better rest, I'm feeling dizzy and don't want to cause her trouble again.

Yeah I don't want us to collapse along the way to her home because then she'll have to drag us along the way. Doubt she'd be thrilled about that.

Renko mentions Gensokyo resembling the "past". Many stories I've seen here have them live in contemporary times aka modern day, sometimes being friends with/knowing Sanae prior to her going to Gensokyo, while in canon they're from what would be the future to us. Does this take place in modern times or that future?
>> No. 27604
[X] I'll take her all the way to her home.
Fuck the pohleece
>> No. 27605
[X] I better rest, I'm feeling dizzy and don't want to cause her trouble again.
>> No. 27617
[X] I'll take her all the way to her home.
Welp. Nobody wants to escort the lady home?
>> No. 27630
>>27617
It's called being practical in the face of being sick. It's not that people don't want to, its just that they'd rather not burden Renko more by the very likely case of passing out.
>> No. 27637
File 135405375161.jpg - (150.46KB , 850x935 , 3f7abedd415f7c19c12ae98c2f5224ec.jpg ) [iqdb]
27637
You just missed the Renko route (and in extension the Maribel route, too).

-----


I decided that I would be of no help to Renko, if I were to collapse again and only saw her to the door before returning to bed. Due to the porridge she had made, of which there was still enough left, my stomach felt satisfied and soon after laying my head on the soft pillow, I drifted into sleep again.

-----

When I woke up, I found myself looking up at an unfamiliar wooden roof, but my mind did not register it yet; I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep again. A few seconds later I jumped up and let my gaze wander through the unknown, traditional Japanese style room. Judging from the light falling through the paper screens, it was around the middle of the day, but I was unsure of the date. Looking down at myself I confirmed that my clothes were those I had gone to bed with from last time; either I had been transported somewhere unknown in my sleep or I was dreaming.

Before I had the time to ponder the possibilities and wonder why the dream seemed so real, I heard the sound of what might be a broom scraping on rough ground from the other side of the sliding doors. I quickly stood up and wondered whether I should really be going out in my current clothes. However, curiosity won over the prospect of a possible embarrassment and a second later I had slid the paper door aside. Strong sunlight assaulted me and I had to hold a hand up to shadow my eyes from the strangely unusual sensation; it felt like I had not seen such luminosity in a long time.

Upon looking outside, I realized that I was on holy ground; to my left I found a Toori, its vermillion signaling the border between the profane and the sacred world. Upon turning my head to see the shrine, my eyes fell upon a girl with a broom, cleaning the space in front of the donation box. She wore something that resembled a Miko's outfit; her top was white, although she had detached sleeves, but the skirt - instead of a Hakama - was blue with a white rim. She had long green hair, but since she was facing away from me, I could not make out her features. From her slender but curvaceous figure I assumed that she had a face to match it, but I still had to know; thus, I left the room fully and walked towards the girl without calling out to her.

However, after only a few steps my body started to feel weak and I remembered that I had barely recovered from a cold and apparently it had not been enough rest yet. My vision turned dark and white spots flashed within the blackness that assaulted my consciousness; I knew this feeling but I could not fight it. I closed my eyes as my body seemed to fall to the ground, deprived of all strength; the last thing I heard was footsteps approaching me and an indistinguishable voice calling out to me.

At that moment I forced my eyelids open once more and beheld a beautiful face, framed by green hair. Green eyes filled with worry looked into mine and it seemed that she noticed that I was looking back into hers; she showed a surprised expression but then lifted an arm and put her hand on my forehead. Warmth entered through her palm and filled my whole body and finally darkness encased me once more.

-----

I suddenly opened my eyes and even before they could adapt to the different lighting conditions, I knew that I was in my bed at home. With the realization I was overcome by dejection, as my vision turned dark again - this time by the act of closing my eyelids. The dream, if it had been one at all, was still vivid and I could still feel the sun on my skin, but with every passing second the memory faded away. Upon trying to remember, I realized that the shrine from this dream or vision had the same layout as the one I had been falling towards in the vision by Maribel. Maybe she would know how I could continue seeing the other side and maybe even knew a way how I could get...

Finally, I realized just how foolish my train of thoughts had been for the past few days; part of me wanted to believe everything I had seen, but another part screamed that it was not reality and that my subconscious had used my strong wish for it to be just that and created a fantasy world for me to flee to in my dreams. Maybe I had been too immersed in the supernatural as of late and had weakened my stance toward the inexistence thereof.

I instantly regretted these thoughts and hated myself for them, as the realization hit me like a train; I had given up halfway and now that somebody had given me a glimpse of the possibilities that still remained in this world, I tried to shut it out with rationality. I had wanted to believe in fantasy in the past and being disappointed again and again had hurt me more than I was willing to admit now; the innocent me of the past, the one that still believed in the existence of the supernatural, was encased in a hard shell to protect it from the cruelty of reality. I felt that it was time to try and believe once again, in miracles, the supernatural and the inexplicable, which had been all but erased from this modern world dominated by science and rationality.

"I'm such an idiot."

Lifting an arm and holding it over my eyes, I felt tears forming in my eyes.

"Why can't I believe? I have to believe before it can become reality."

Wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing, a bitter smile appeared on my lips.

"I want to believe."

"Then I better not disappoint you."

Suddenly a voice answered me. I jumped up from my bed and scanned the room, to find a blonde woman dressed in purple sitting at the end of my bed. Her purple eyes reflected mischief on the surface, but seemed so much deeper once one came to look deeper into them. My first guess was that it was Maribel but with a slightly different voice, but soon enough I noticed that this woman had a different atmosphere about her. Her lips, slightly curled upwards in amusement, seemed to beckon me, but her aura told me that she was more than met the eye; it rang all the alarm bells in my mind.

"Maribel?"

Yet since I had just woken up, my body and mind did not yet act as one, so my mouth formulated the words my mind had already discarded mere moments ago.

"I understand why you would mistake me for her. It does not seem to be an uncommon misunderstanding."

The blonde chuckled lightly and her eyes finally broke their connection to mine, as she let her gaze wander out of the window. I saw a glint in her eyes and noticed that she seemed to be suppressing a childish desire to press her face against the window to get a better look outside; it seemed like she was immersing herself in the marvels of modern technology, especially a train that was passing by not far from my window. Her eyes turned back to me and a coy smile appeared on her lips, as she noticed my expression. Seemingly from nowhere, she produced a folding fan, opened it and covered her lower face with it.

"But I will not explain it now, as there is something more important to discuss."

She turned her head to me completely as if to show that I had all her attention, before continuing.

"You have crossed the border twice already, once without anybody's help. However, you seem to be... doing it wrongly."

Her eyes no longer showed a smile and when she moved the fan away, her lips became visible to cause the expression on her face show a grave one instead. I did not understand, but before I could inquire, the mysterious woman already began to explain.

"The first time seemed to have caused a crack in your soul. The second time has worsened it."

As a person studied in the area of mythology and the supernatural, I could not say I did not understand what she meant by that; however, it seemed so absurd to hear it in such a serious tone that I would have started to laugh, if it had been anybody else telling me that. Somehow, I simply could not disregard her words as the rambling of a crazed person and she clearly did not appear like a certain electro-wave girl.

"Your soul will split in two, if you continue this."

Her voice and expression betrayed the gravity of the subject matter, but before I could answer, she continued.

"The reason why you collapsed the first time was because of the strain on your soul. It was reflected in your physical container as symptoms that resemble a cold, but your actions are actually shaving off your lifespan. Currently, you are in both worlds at the same time and in both your condition will only get worse."

The woman lifted her fan again and closed her eyes, slightly turning away from me as if to give me time to think about what she had said. Ironically, my mind was split on the matter as well, as part of it wanted to believe her and grasped the severity of the situation, while the other accused me of failing as a rational human being.

"Once your soul splits in two, you will die."

These words were like a punch in the face, as I flinched at their bluntness; this woman was trying to make me aware of my situation, but even now part of me did not want to believe it. I did not know how much of me was trying to remain rational and dismiss her warning as the words of a madman and ascribe my condition to a mere cold. However, the other part could not bring forth any sound arguments to overcome pure rationality; why would I have to believe a stranger who had just entered my room on her own? Even though she seemed to be informed about my experiences of the past days, it did not warrant absolute trust in her word.

"There is a decision you have to make; whether you want to stay here or to cross over to the other side... But I believe it would be better if you just forget about 'there' and live a peaceful life like you have up until now."

The woman's expression changed into an imploring one, showing her sympathy at my difficult choice.

"If you cross over and come back here, it will be your end."

Assuming she spoke the truth, I would have to choose between staying in this world and going to the one in my dreams, in which the decision held the ultimate meaning of never seeing the one I would be leaving behind or the one I would be forgetting. It was up to me to weigh the implications of this choice and finally make one without further delay.

My dream had always been to see mythology in reality, and this woman before me seemed to suggest that it was one possibility for me - although she had recommended me to forget about it.

My reality was that I had friends and family in this world, and I was not inclined to just cut all my ties instantaneously and leave them behind for what might be nothing more than a fantasy.


[X] I will stay in this world and stop dreaming.
[X] I will go to the other side and leave everyone behind.
[X] Give me more time to think...
>> No. 27638
>You just missed the Renko route (and in extension the Maribel route, too).

NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!
>> No. 27639
[X] I will stay in this world and stop dreaming.
Maybe we can get it back! Renko needs more love!
>> No. 27641
>You just missed the Renko route (and in extension the Maribel route, too).
I just saw this story, and that's the first thing I read.
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
>> No. 27643
[X] I will stay in this world and stop dreaming.

Well I'm pissed off about losing the Renko and Maribel routes. There's hardly any romance stories with them.

Can we get a redo?
>> No. 27644
[X] I will go to the other side and leave everyone behind.

Look, we fucked up things with them. We'll probably have more luck in Gensokyo.

Also, sex scenes when?
>> No. 27645
>>27643

Well, there are bad ends in this story, I think I should mention that... So yeah, there will be redos. That doesn't mean you can mess around though.

>>27644

This VN... I mean... story has the following tags: late_sexual_content, low_sexual_content and plot_driven. This is by no means a Nukige... I mean sex story.
>> No. 27646
>>27645
Uh, just so you know, this is the porn board. For the most part, the stories here are sex focused.

You should probably move to /border/. Sex outside of /at/ is fine, if that's why you made the thread here.
>> No. 27648
[X] I will stay in this world and stop dreaming.
>> No. 27659
>>27646
Aren't there stories on the /at/ board that don't have a lot of sex in them, like that Moral story?
>> No. 27660
>>27659
Moral's story started with sex and ended up with less and less, and finally none. So it originally fit on /at/ but became more and more out of place as time went on.

Romance is fine on /at/. Non-porn updates are fine on /at/. Porn doesn't need to be the sole focus, but it should be a focus. And again, text porn is fine off /at/.
>> No. 27663
I have to question the wisdom of making the two most anticipated routes hinge on a single choice you advised us not to pick.

It's your story, but I've found that screwing the readers like that is a bad idea.
>> No. 27664
>>27646
>>27660

Well, yes... that was actually my reason. I guess the next thread would go to /border/ then?


>>27663

I did not advise anything and I think I made the ambiguity of choices clear enough by weighing them in the story beforehand. But most of all, I shouldn't be telling people what routes there are if there are redos... I failed that one.
>> No. 27665
Dude, you cut off a route for making the choice that collapsing in the middle or escorting Renko wouldn't be smart after she took so much effort getting us home.
>> No. 27668
>>27665
This, most stories give more leeway for cutting off routes and stories here have generally moved away from being mired in VN tropes, especially considering the fact the typical function of a CYOA (1 full run at best usually by many people) is far different than a VN (many runs by one person).

>>27660
I wouldn't say there were none, but the general rate is far better suited for being outside of /at/.
>> No. 27670
Getting shafted for picking the sensible choice? Sure is SHARK END in here.
>> No. 27674
OP confirmed to be That Storyteller. Meh, wasn't expecting much (or even at all) of this anyway.
>> No. 27676
>>27668
This. We've long since evolved past VN-wannabe stories.
>> No. 27681
>>27670
Since it's so hard to miss routes. You just usually don't get told that.

Stop being butthurt for nothing. What even happened so far? We missed a route and you're throwing in the towel for absolutely no fucking reason. Even if we were to get a bad end here for some reason we're just getting sent back a choice or two.
>> No. 27682
>>27861

A seemingly harmless choice just permanently shut down two routes. I think we have a right to be unhappy.

Does that kind of arbitrary behavior seem okay to you? Is that the kind of thing you want to happen again in the future?

If you're fine with that, then don't mind me. But if that's how I can expect the author to treat his audience, I think staying will only lead to disappointment.
>> No. 27686
>>27682
Like I said before, it seems it was a huge mistake to point out that you missed that route. If I had not said anything... but then again, people would always wonder whether there could have been this or might have been that.

So, do you still want me to continue or should I just quit here and spare you a "disappointment"?
>> No. 27687
>>27681
Missing routes usually is a somewhat conscious choice in that you choose to not spend time with a character or intentionally antagonise them in favour of someone else whose route you want. Trying to avoid DNM on the fourth update is not something you expect to be a route deciding factor.

>>27686
You did warn us at the very beginning that our decisions have a great impact, but I doubt most or any of us expected something like this. I for one am disappointed since this had a promising premise. It seems you do have some readers which do not mind though, so by all means continue on. Just keep in mind that you also may have lost more than one reader with this move as well.
>> No. 27688
>>27686
We still have people who really don't get how shit works here. So all aboard the LOL WE PICKED THE BAD END 10 DECISIONS AGO! And let's waste the reader's time train to wasting time.

>>27645
>This VN... I mean... story has the following tags: late_sexual_content, low_sexual_content and plot_driven. This is by no means a Nukige... I mean sex story.

>This VN... I mean... story

Yea just get the fuck out you pretentious prick
>> No. 27738
>>27686
I'm going to mirror >>27688's sentiments, though not in quite the same terms. The whole "CYOA trying to be a VN" thing is kinda done to death around here. The story itself had promise, but the way you went about it did not. I'd say re-tool it, start over, and post it in /border/.

Also, next time, please don't use honourifics. That is majorly annoying. And, for god's sake, semicolons: learn how to not overuse them.
>> No. 27739
>>27738
Er regarding honorifics, and considering the MC is Japanese, wouldn't it sort of be appropriate? I've seen stories here use honorifics like "sama" and no one has gotten on them about that.
>> No. 27741
>>27739
What does that really affect, though? If you're just throwing them in to indicate "Japanese-ness" that seems rather ham-fisted.
>> No. 27752
[X] I will go to the other side and leave everyone behind.

So... two updates in, barely any interaction with the first cast and still stablishing the MC's character as a sensible guy and we get cut-off. Welp, gensokyo better be more suited for us then. Also, this story fits more in /border/ than /at/ as it is (like if everyone else hasn't told you already).
>> No. 27754
Leaving aside the needless comments, it's just that the story goes that way. If you did not go with Renko at that time, you will be going to Gensôkyô instead... unless it happens to be the Bad End of "I will stop dreaming."

I'm sure some of you have played Fate/Stay Night, so you would know that after only a few choices you might end up on a Bad End already.

And to the comments about VN, which I do need to answer to: This was supposed to be the script for an original Visual Novel I had planned with a few people. But obviously, that didn't go anywhere, else I wouldn't be posting the story so openly like that.

Ultimately, I'm left with two choices myself:

[X] Go on writing like nothing happened. (Which is what this actually is.)
[X] Seek different pastimes that do not earn me flak for "nothing happened".
>> No. 27755
Do you take write-ins? Cos I'm going with [x] get off your high horse, you pretentious ass.
>> No. 27756
[x] Get off your high horse

And do your research next time, slugger.
>> No. 27757
[X] Seek different pastimes that do not earn me flak for "nothing happened".

Counting the people who have voted before so far and the developing trend resulting from the first two votes, I deduce that this is the final decision then.

Have a nice time then and thank you for your attention so far.
>> No. 27758
>>27754
[x] Get off your high horse

>>27757
Don't let the door his your ass on the door you smug prick!
>> No. 27759
>>27754
>I'm sure some of you have played Fate/Stay Night, so you would know that after only a few choices you might end up on a Bad End already.

Yea let's be THAT retarded! I mean people LOVE going for a railroaded BAD END! Are you retarded Or just that smug?
>> No. 27761
Gee, sure was Wiseman around here.
>> No. 27776
>>27674
"That Storyteller"? What other stories here have been started by this author?
>> No. 27777
>>27776

Pretty sure he means "That Storyteller" as in "That Guy", "That Guy" being a guy who ultimately turns out to be a complete failure/total douche/completely toxic/insert negative trait of choice here.
>> No. 27779
Yeah, uh, even leaving aside all the sillyness of treating a CYOA like a VN, this story does not belog at /at/. As was mentioned, r-18 scenes can be posted on all boards, if you want to write a story here, it pretty much has to be a "nukige" as the writer put it. At least to some degree.
>> No. 27780
>>27754
Are votes closed? I have a good write-in for you.
[X] Jump into the lake
>> No. 27781
Oh hey, there goes another writer. Try and get him to learn and improve? Nah, fuck that, let's just scream at him until he goes away, then we can go back to complaining about the lack of stories.

Meakashi, if you actually like writing, then keep writing. Keep going with this, restart it, try something else, whatever. Just don't stop.
>> No. 27782
Debriefing:

>>/blue/15572

This may be of interest to you, Meakashi.
>> No. 27783
>>27781
Hardly screaming, if you think this is bad, you haven't seen a shitstorm on this site. Yes, the mood seems to be getting stormy, but there's still plenty of room for discussion, and everything depends on how the writefag responds.

Also, quite a few of the people that were ran off before were shitty, shitty writers who, quite frankly, we're better off without. Trust me on this, you do NOT want them back at least until they've learned a bit.

Unless you, for some reason really enjoy meta knights and katanakanas...
>> No. 27790
>>27781
First off, that's hardly the most vitriolic it could have been. Secondly, it was obvious he was too far up his own arse to heed advice. If his response to being told to get over himself was to pitch his toys from the pram, I'm going to say there wasn't much hope for him anyway.
>> No. 27800
>>27790
>Secondly, it was obvious he was too far up his own arse to heed advice.
Not seeing it.
>> No. 27801
>>27800

Time to go down the list.

>honorifics, at all, ever

Being married to Japanese honorifics is often a case of being obsessed with anything Japanese without bothering to actually study it. Contrary to popular belief, as anyone with actual academic study in the Japanese language will tell you, honorifics are not unique, language-specific terms that must be maintained across translations except in the most obscure historical contexts. -san, -chan, -kun, -sama, -dono all have definitions and connotations that can easily be wrapped into everyday speech beyond ham-fisted one-to-one translations; even -sensei is just a matter of context half the time, as it doesn't always mean "professor" in the English language despite what stupid fan-translations might have you believe.

But honorifics have permeated the English community to a level where this is occasionally forgivable. Now, let's tackle the far bigger issue; the visual novel one.

>visual novels, at all, ever

If you've only ever read translated Japanese visual novels, or maybe only ever heard of them, this might confuse you. Maybe you don't know it, but the original english visual novel community has an absolutely awful rate of attrition. Those who boldly begin such projects are rarely never groups with professional artists, composers, writers, programmers, etc. Even Katawa Shoujo, which I think everyone can agree has been the most successful and polished OEVN created to this day, was very much a slap-dash job by Japanese visual novel standards. I mean seriously, the people got their starts from 4chan, of all places. Seriously. This isn't me elevating Japanese visual novels above English ones simply because they're Japanese - do some research, and you'll find that this is the truth.

And yet the most common people who start these OEVNs, always the plot-writers with at best a basic level of experience in one other area (and maybe their writing is basic at best too), almost universally set forth with the strange confidence that they'll find the rest of their "support staff" along the way, not realizing that each of the other categories is just as important to the full experience of a visual novel as the writing. Otherwise, it'd be just a novel, not visual novel.

When the support staff inevitably fail to materialize, one of four things can happen.

1. The entire project comes to a screeching halt.
2. The writer converts his work to a "mere" novel, and manages to produce a completed work devoid of the "visual" (and audio, and programming) trappings. It might be good, it might not.
3. The writer pulls strings, pays commissions, gets coding done one way or another and actually manages to pull his VN into a finished project. These people are the few, the proud. Unless their completed products are crap anyways. Which they usually are, since corners were usually cut in one area or another.
4. The writer attempts to hawk his writings as the stuff of a visual novel without any of the supporting material. This is the equivalent of sticking your head up your arse in the dirt like an ostrich to avoid facing reality - and everyone who knows the truth is going to think you're an idiot and laugh at you.

>This VN... I mean... story

Head-up-arse detected. See "everyone who knows the truth is going to think you're an idiot and laugh at you".

>actually enforcing routes in a story that's not even written yet

We've now gone beyond head-up-arse levels, and are now entering "our head is where our head actually should be except it's managed to also loop itself through our digestive system in a weird sort of head-ception way" levels of delusion. You're trying to make other people follow the rules of something that you haven't even created yet. This is the equivalent of trying to make someone obey your commands because "you will rule the world"... eventually. You've gone beyond avoiding or ignoring the truth to thrusting the lie in someone else's face and expecting them to act as though they believe it - and on this board, anon is experienced enough to call this shit out when it happens.

You wouldn't accept this shit in real life, so you won't accept it in words on the internet, either. Simple as that.
>> No. 27802
>>27801

I happen to major in Japanese Studies, in the field of Mythology, Religion and Folklore. So please forgive me for being true to my field of study, my professors, our textbooks, my Japanese friends and being Asian myself.

The Visual Novel part, I would have transformed it into a more VN-like experience with music and pictures (like I have done on many occasions before) once the story got into Gensôkyô. Excuse me for having artistic freedom, from now on I'll be asking advice from you.

Lastly, about enforcing routes of a story I have not written: But I already planned it out completely. Really, my only fault in all of this was to tell you that you missed the route. All the rest was your own conjecturing about my possible, but certainly not intended, yes, intentions.

>>27782

Actually, that post was quite helpful, but then again people make me out to be smug and condescending, so it must be true. That also means I surely cannot improve myself anymore, since my attitude prevents it.

Well, the only ones condescending were those I tried to appeal to with my story, trying to remain as neutral as possible, since you are not a homogenous group that always makes the same choice together. It is hard to please all, that's for sure, but it seems harder to try at all.

Maybe if the attitude I had received from people was less smug and condescending, with them having done their research, I would have returned already. But now I only see this going under even more in squabbling without any basis - everything just pure assumptions.
>> No. 27803
>>27802
>Maybe if the attitude I had received from people was less smug and condescending, with them having done their research, I would have returned already
>Maybe if you people weren't so mean to me I would've graced you with my presence once again

And there's your smug and condescending right there.
>> No. 27804
>>27802
>Excuse me for having artistic freedom, from now on I'll be asking advice from you.
>people make me out to be smug and condescending, so it must be true.
>That also means I surely cannot improve myself anymore, since my attitude prevents it.

Ah, sarcasm. That's going to help you.

I could be wrong, but it seems to me that part of the problem is that you've failed to understand your audience, here. The whole "story on an image board pretending to be an VN" thing? We've been there and done that already, and have long since stopped trying that approach for a reason. We have, for the most part, moved on from that way of thinking, and our expectations of the stories here have changed as a result.

The VN-style "Bad End" thing? We've done those, too, and once again we have long since tried to move away from that sort of thing for a reason.

It's fine if you were not aware of that when you began, nobody can expect to know everything they need to at first, so some mistakes are bound to be made. However, the second you found out that this was not the best board to put your story, you would have done well to take a step back and consider what else you might not understand about this place. Instead, you seem to be blaming everyone else for the current situation, and that's not really something you should be doing. Not only because people won't really respond well to that, but because it's quite likely that they're not the ones with the real problem here.
>> No. 27805
>>27802
>Dickwaving about HOW MUCH I LOVE JAPANESE CULTURE!!
>The Visual Novel part, I would have transformed it into a more VN-like experience with music and pictures (like I have done on many occasions before) once the story got into Gensôkyô. Excuse me for having artistic freedom, from now on I'll be asking advice from you.

To paraphrase Dr. Perry Cox, Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! You presented yourself as a self righteous jackass and you wonder why people don't like you. If you wanted to make a VN? Make your VN and don't have us be your 'test audience'

The moment you were bringing in the non QWERTY Keyboard characters should have been a red flag about you

>>27803
Remember we're STUPID PLEBEIANS because we don't have a 'Major in Japanese Studies, in the field of Mythology, Religion and Folklore'. Thus we can't dare compete with this guy's stuff.

Remember being able to shit out walls of text doesn't make you a good writer or story teller. And it sure doesn't make you a good CYOA writer. Read the other stories here if you're big on research. But if you can't do that effort. Then buddy you're unequivocally fucked.
>> No. 27807
>>27802
>with them having done their research

Excuse me while I laugh my ass off. You expect us, the readers, to "do our research"? When you were the one who apparently didn't fucking research THP at all? Nice blame shifting there.

Just get the fuck out, you cunt.
>> No. 27853
Why the hell are all you faggots hating so damn much. You don't want to read, YOU get the fuck out of the thread.
>> No. 27860
>>27853
Writers who go out of their way to argue with and thumb their nose at their audience deserve every bit of "hate" they get. If he'd just gracefully accepted criticism and learned not to be so adversarial towards his audience, he might not have gotten so much flak. Of course, had he simply asked around before posting, this whole mess probably could have been avoided. Not that dwelling on "could haves" matters much now; he's already picked up his ball and left for home.
>> No. 27865
>>27860

I have to say that it's the readers who first started to be a dick in this fiasco, despite the early warning he gave at the beginning of the story.

however, arguing with them and not moving on with the story is the writer's bad call.
>> No. 27867
>>27865
Type Moon Logic was used.

Also the more revealed the more that was shown that this was LOL RAILROAD!

This guy REALLY should have LURKED MORE. Since it was obvious he didn't understand how things worked here.
>> No. 27870
>>27867

I've seen more railroaded stories here, but people are just so indulge in the sex scenes to call it out.

you guys on the other hand, only called him out because he made a move in his "story" that didn't went the way you like.

I thought we are here to have some fun and read porn story; but you guys make it sound like we're here for some William Shakespear stuff by whining "OMG Type Moon logic!", "honorifics sucks", "pretentious prick!", "this writer can't write shit", "we readers are so much better of a writer that if he doesn't listen to us, he's trash"

here's a bright idea, since you are so brilliant about writing a story and know how everything work around here, how about YOU write the story?

it's hard to leisurely read with people like you jumping out of the corner, shouting like you are the expert and demand everything to go your way or it didn't happen.
>> No. 27871
>>27870
The "how about YOU write a story" argument isn't a very good argument to use in defending this guy.

Right near the beginning of the story, he cuts off two routes just like that. Most stories here cut out routes a while later when it's shown the MC isn't interested in interacting with a character or set of characters, but here two routes are cut out with little-to-no interaction even started. Without even getting to know them, Mari and Renko's routes are already dropped. If this was another story we'd have had quite a bit more interaction before such a cut took place, and most people would know when it'd be cut.

For all that VNs and CYOA stories are similar, they're pretty different because a VN can be played multiple times for each route, but to do the equivalent here, an entire thread/story would have to be written for each route. This isn't a VN.
>> No. 27873
>>27870

About the "why don't YOU write a story" excuse that you people retreat to.

This board may be anonymous, but many of us anons ARE writefags, and we DO write our own stories. We treat the input and feedback from our readers with dignity (when it's not pants-on-head retarded, of course), because we expect our fellow writefags to do the same to use when we participate in their threads.

While we may give the impression of loftily "offering choices" without alternative and with immediate, dramatic impact (like the VN Meakashi aspires to write), just look at the huge amount of discussion and reasoning that anons contribute alongside their votes. They're not here simply to pick their favorite Touhou or self-insert themselves, but instead most of the time votes are made "in character" - and when they're not, they're helping define what that character is, cooperating with the writefag to create a character they'd all like to see. And then look at the impact of write-ins; they can inspire ingenious additions or even entire plot twists. Write-in votes are something no premade work can account for.

If we wanted to write stories without the amount of reader input that we get, we'd post on some other site that shall not be named. THP is distinguished by its relative intimacy between reader and writer, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

So when a new kid shows up and kicks his readers in the proverbial balls with a move like "oh hai you just missed the route for being a believable, reasonable human being", we get a little anxious, and let him know that in these parts, that just isn't done - it's overly callous to the readers by our standards. When he insisted that that was the way things were going to be done, we hazed the shit out of him until he left, because to us, a writefag with no respect for his readers' opinions doesn't belong here. If you want to make your story "like a VN", then we'll wait for you to actually finish the damn thing. We refuse to have our desires toyed with.
>> No. 27874
People bitching about two of the characters being cut off like we just killed them and when there's more than 100 others anyway. Enough said.
>> No. 27876
>>27874
No, we are bitching about the practice of cutting two decently popular characters off in a seemingly minor choice while still at the very beginning of this story.
>> No. 27878
>>27876
My point exactly. Bitching about two out of more than 100 characters being cut off to the extent that it feels like we killed them and won't ever see them again.
Either we'd have seen more of them anyway, in which case we could have in fact even gotten a second chance at them from the author if they were popular enough or it was just a possible minor route that was unlikely to happen anyway and for which we just so happened to not qualify.
>> No. 27879
>>27878
Please we were in FULL RAILROAD mode as he had this entire thing pre-written. And from what we saw of his personality he wasn't going to bend at all to what we were going to say of suggest. Hell he'd probably flip the fuck out if we used write-ins

>>27873
Honestly he should have posted this on some OTHER site since put simply the guy was a prick.

Also "why don't YOU write a story" is a cope out. It makes me wonder if the author is how hiding as an anon now to defend himself.

Me I can't write convincing erotica to save my life, as writing good smut CYOAs are surprisingly difficult it turns out. I don't like being jerked around by a smug holier than thou person who things they're a VN writer.
>> No. 27880
>>27878
The point was that he did it downright out of the blue and we would not have any second chances with them. Nobody is attacking him for closing off routes per se, but for the voters having not any say in it.
>> No. 27881
>>27880
This.

Meakashi wanted to act like the whole thing was a LOLVN to the point that he already had all the rails laid down. The minute Anon demanded any kind of flexibility from him, he went "LOL YOU PLEBS DON'T UNDERSTAND MY GENIUS VISION". Case in point, he picked a fight with his audience, and that's a fight you can only lose.
>> No. 27882
>>27879

I'm less inclined to defend this fella as you are, but I'm really baffled by the quick conclusion you guys jumped in and the complete 180 face heel turn at the so-called "out of nowhere" plot branch.

the only reason I'm still talking here is because I believed you guys are not those 4chan /b/ fags.

>>27873

I agree that the anons here is what make the stories so interesting. Heck, I'm often interested in what options the anons will choose or write in for the story.

although I may have come in at a later time, I do see anons regret about the choice they make before but I do not recall seeing anons going this bitter at the choices they made before.

stating the fact that you are a writefag, you should understand more than those who do not write on what if people suddenly responsed badly to what you have written, every word you fend for yourself comes off in the conclusion they make rather than what you mean. You should understand more what newbies has to go through as you were a newbie once.

then again, I do not know this writer personally, maybe he really is that smug IRL, but I don't want to jump into that conclusion too quickily.

you may also take "how about YOU write the story" in the literal sense, if you really don't like the outcome, you can ask the writer's permission that if he'll let you write the alternative outcome or wait for the redos that he promised, or... just write the story in your own way and show the fella how it is done, it'll be insulting to a certain degree alright but at least it's better than bitching and whining that is couter-productive and will only make you out as crybabies.

to be honest, I don't really see the "Type Moon Ending" and "holier than thou smug" you guys made out to be

at the forked road
[X] I'll take her all the way to her home.
[X] I better rest, I'm feeling dizzy and don't want to cause her trouble again.

I can see that it's clear if you want to stick with Renko/Maribel route, you'll pick the 1st option. The other one definitely leads elsewhere, maybe not "trapped in real world or gensokyou" the writer had planned out to be, but it's definitely elsewhere.

and at the next forked road
[X] I will stay in this world and stop dreaming.
[X] I will go to the other side and leave everyone behind.
[X] Give me more time to think...

while loathing the harsh decision Meakashi has thrown you, did you guys even notice there's a third option of "Give me more time to think..."?

even then, missing a character route does not automatically mean "they'll die a fiery death", it simply mean you are not getting them as the main girl. That's it. Unless the writer had indicated so.

at best, Meakashi only mentioned "There are bad ends" in the story, not "This is a Bad End and you are in it!"

so that's an awfully fast conclusion you guys had to gone in with "SHARK END!" or "Type Moon End!"

ironically, before he admitted using VN-type of writting and you guys start scrutinize him for using VN type of writting; you guys already see this as a really linear VN, the ones with "chars dies if you don't choose her route!!". I guess the missed Maribel/Renko route is the point when you press the reset button or close the game and say it's suck, regardless of what kind of story waiting behind.

you are correct and I love this statement,
"THP is distinguished by its relative intimacy between reader and writer, and we wouldn't have it any other way."

but contrasy to that statement, the current situation is that the readers are overwhelming the writers, I can already see newbie writers treating the readers here as really_hard_to_satisfy or please_us_or_we_rage types. The smug ones are not the newbie writers, but rather, the readers.

take a step back and look at yourselves, is this really the THP you looking to establish?

at this point, I'm not interested whether you guys want to believe that I'm the writer in disguise, writing this in his defence or make me out to be a moralfag.
>> No. 27883
>>27882
Sure is white knight in here.

Type moon logic is basically punishing the reader for a sensible choice, particular in wake of the MC coming down with a cold rather easily.

THP has worked to get away from this sort of shit.
>> No. 27884
>>27883
I got a feeling its Meakashi posting without his trip on

>>27882
There is a way to fix that.

LURK MORE. Read other things here.

I know it takes EFFORT to do that but yet again. Read 'Mind the Gap' and that nameless Komachi story (the one that might be getting a name after four threads) on how to handle ends.

>>27883
Pretty much.
>> No. 27885
>>27882
I am the guy who called SHARK END and I did it purely because of the "being punished for chosing the sensible option", not because of bad end or incoming character deaths. When faced with heavy fever and the girl angrily telling you to stay in bed then it is sensible to do just that before you collapse again or make an idiot out of yourself, not force yourself to needlessly escort her home. Personally I genuinely liked his writing in itself, but for this choice we could have just as well thrown a dice or flipped a coin. We had that way back in MiG, making us think it was just a crazy trip of fun and little sisters until plot happened and lead us to the SNOW END. I also agree on some anons calling names a bit early, but by 27802 at the latest he really went down the wrong path for me.
>> No. 27887
Can't we just agree that Meakashi's story was a poorly-thought-out attempt to be like his ~precious Japanese Visual Novels~ and let this thread die?
>> No. 27888
>>27887
works for me
>> No. 27889
Seriously... making me post here again, I'll have someone's head for this...

First of all, I feel some people didn't even read on after my comment (that you missed the route), which I already admitted was a big mistake.

In no way did I cut off the route, I just said that you missed the route. Nowhere did I say that it was final. Then again, what Yukari said there, that you have to choose where the protagonist will stay for the rest of his life... I think that is reason enough to "cut off" the route with Renko and Maribel, since there is no going back if you go to Gensôkyô.

At one point I felt like spoiling the whole story to you for an explanation, and I think that would even be for the best... But I might still have a reader elsewhere and if that person happens to read it here, it'd spoil their fun. Maybe it's because I simply haven't established my way of how choices affect the outcome yet, but I'm sure you all have played/read enough VN to know that two or even three choices may all lead to the same immediate outcome... although it might change something later in the story.

Lastly, I don't care about people's attitudes and the words they use, even if they may be insulting. I mean, it is simply my choice whether I want to stay under such circumstances. However, it's a different story when they start accusing me of things I never did/intended.

The whole thing simply started from a misunderstanding, which was bloated beyond belief. If I were to ever write a story like this publicly, I'd just update without comments; I see that this might just be the best choice after all.
>> No. 27890
>>27889
>making me post here again, I'll have someone's head for this...

Brah, do you even listen to yourself?
>> No. 27891
>>27890

Brah, do you even know what I mean?
>> No. 27892
>>27890
Nah he keeps saying he 'LEFT FOREVER!' but keeps coming back

He's like that guy on an art site who makes a big mess about PEOPLE BEING MEAN TO ME! I QUIT THE INTERNET FOREVER!!!!! takes down his art and a few days later is fully back with his gallery up.

>>27889
Keep on backpedaling son. You might make for a good Cornerback one day. Although you're kinda slow! And that bright. Practice squad maybe.

Your best solution was to SHUT UP AND LEAVE. But you keep coming back and trying convoluted explanations to why WE were wrong and you were so much better than us.
>> No. 27893
>>27889
>I'm sure you all have played/read enough VN to know that two or even three choices may all lead to the same immediate outcome...

You're making a DANGEROUS assumption there. You ASSUME we are people who play Visual Novels. You ASSUME we LIKE Type Moon's retard Logic. You ASSUME we think like you.

Here's the thing bucko you can't make assumptions about the readers. Yet again you didn't do your homework.

And to quote Ladd Russo, "Thank you! FUCK YOU!"
>> No. 27894
File 13546742462.jpg - (354.47KB , 1000x994 , 3f114ee5ea61e12f4e75298587789bb6.jpg ) [iqdb]
27894
>>27891
Protip: Lurk more, Keep lurking moar, Are you still lurking? You should be. Pick a new trip, find a new story, and try again.

Anon can be a great audience and IRCfags are pretty damn helpful (When they aren't discussing vidya gaems or RPG's). Get involved, start reading other works here (I suggest Theater of Youth as a starting point), and get into the chan culture, and start voting in threads. You'll become one of us eventually.

From a non-writer's view, this place has a level of quality that's hard to beat on the internet for fiction of any kind. I'd out right pay for some of the stories from the archive because they are just that good. It's rewarding to stick around, so if you have the balls, stop posting, lurk moar, and write again with some hubris.

PS: Pic related, it's how I feel about your writing.

PSS: It's stiff and inflexible. There is no flow. Reading it it is like trying to swim in molasses. White space can do wonders, especially on a image board where we don't have fancy indenting and the like.
>> No. 27896
Well, this definitely all escalated rather quickly...
>> No. 27903
>>27889
>In no way did I cut off the route, I just said that you missed the route. Nowhere did I say that it was final.
That's what "missed the route" means to sane people. I've never seen a VN where you can "miss a route" and then get on that route anyway. If you meant "missed an opportunity to get on that route", then say that.

>Then again, what Yukari said there, that you have to choose where the protagonist will stay for the rest of his life... I think that is reason enough to "cut off" the route with Renko and Maribel, since there is no going back if you go to Gensôkyô.
We should assume the 5th choice in the story determines whether the rest of his life takes place inside or outside of Gensokyo? That's a pretty stupid way of running a CYOA, unless you have two complete stories in mind and can't decide which one to write here.

>If I were to ever write a story like this publicly, I'd just update without comments; I see that this might just be the best choice after all.
Seems like you should just update without reader input. Interactive CYOA is clearly not your forte.

By the way, your prose is dry and pretentious and "tolling" isn't an adjective.
>> No. 27907
>>27903
Hey, stop beating that dead horse.
>> No. 27914
>>27907

It's no longer a dead horse. We now moved onto a cow. We're still working on the 'dead' part, though.
>> No. 27956
>>27914
That's not funny.
Also, if that's you with the non-saged post up there, yeah, it's usually assumed that if you move from your world to Gensokyo then you won't be going back if it's a decision between going to Gensokyo or staying... stop with your butthurt already and let it die.