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Tengu Press
A half-youkai identified by yama forces as Rinnosuke Morichika was arrested earlier today on charges of kidnapping, enslavement, prostitution, cruelty to fairies, and false advertisement. TP sources report that Morichika had been abducting ice fairies and selling them to unscrupulous patrons as air conditioning units, and that he had continued in these dealings for not less than a month before being apprehended.

Morichika denied the allegations of prostitution and false advertisement, telling reporters "There's nothing sexual about the actual use of the fairies. That's just how business is done these days! If you don't put sex in the headlines, no one will buy anything! Hell, even you tengu do it, I bet you're going to devote a whole paragraph to this in your papers and put some weird accusation in the headline just to get people to read the story!" He refused to comment on the other charges.

A representative of the yama responded to journalists by saying that they would seek the highest possible penalty for cruelty to fairies: premature inducement of springtime in a controlled setting.

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Dammit, there's a sign on my mailbox that says 'no unsolicited mail or advertisements'. Quit spamming your crummy rag!



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