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File 154107241794.jpg - (608.60KB , 1438x2048 , dreams.jpg ) [iqdb]
16139 No. 16139
[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhhQrFfzFM4 ]
[Escape from Midwich Valley - TRILOGY (Carpenter Brut)]

I've still got 3 hours.

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/01(Thu)14:59

Expand all images
>> No. 16140
File 154107818956.jpg - (280.36KB , 680x785 , reality.jpg ) [iqdb]
[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q3lwVAwHdI ]
[Disco Zombi Italia - TRILOGY (Carpenter Brut)]




There you go again, getting the shit beat outta ya.

A rock set of knuckles right on your jaw, a sharp toe in your gut.

Go on, fall down.

Get your face dirty.

That’s right.

That’s always right.

Son of a bitch Yorigami Joon.

Ain’t that the truth?

You ain’t never gonna fuckin’ change.



The Land of the Oni— - --

Right. Pick the fucking money up.

I drag my nails through Hell’s black soil and close my hand around twenty-thousand: all I’ve got to my name. The gang that got me down here departs, the youngest of them turning around to spit one more word at me.

“Can’t you get the fuck out of here already?”

No can do, nuh uh.

“Hey, stubby-horns,” I raise my jeweled hand, and the finger and thumb on it while I grin, “kiss my ring.”

He stomps over to me, winds up his left leg, and punts me in the stomach. Knocks my mind black, but I’ve still got the money though.

I wake up later, still in the alley, aching pretty bad I guess. Not my worst screw up.

I pick myself up and fall against the wall of the bar I’d caused some trouble in a few(?) hours earlier. I dust off my shirt. It’s tough. It’s tough work swindling oni. It’s not tough to swindle them, it’s tough if they ever find out. Fuck, did I lose a tooth? Heeeyy, that could become its own little god, couldn’t it? Ha, ha ha...

“Ha ha ha ha...” I laugh to myself in the alley, the light of the busy and faraway street warming my face. I am a god, right? Me and her... we’re goddesses. Didn’t ol’ Izanagi make gods from taking a bath? What a champ.

I start rubbing my face harsh-like, gripping my last dollars enough to wrinkle ‘em in my hand. How late is it? This’s why the Underground’s so lame... you never know what time it is. Like, these idiots even got a second sun six years ago and all they use it for is a factory or something. What?

I sigh, breathe in sharp after that, and put my left hand on my ribs.

The fuck am I doing here...?

I close my eyes.


“Pfff... yeah right,” I laugh to myself, “Sis, you goddamn idiot, I only ended up here cause I heard oni are easy to fool. Not like you... ha... ha ha...”

I push myself off of the wall and start to shuffle toward the light of the city streets. I don’t really need to eat but I could use some food. I don’t really need the worship but I could use some faith. The little land of humans topside... I mean, you can use it but... the oni are way more loaded.

I’m just still not used to it.

I’m just getting warmed up.

I reach the mouth of the alley and look up.

Shops, bars, spots for guys and ladies, and spots for guys and ladies, the vibrant and full-throttle land of the oni. Lantern lights, yelling and fights, gambles and fireworks underground. It’s a crazy fuckin’ underworld.

I’m gonna put my foot down on this place. On the whole damn thing.

Twenty-thousand en.

Where am I gonna sleep tonight?

[] Can I work that satori over in that castle? I look pretty beat up right now, might be able to trick her—I know satori.

[] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.

[] Might be I can trick some other oni for a place to sleep tonight. I’m not that infamous here, yet...

[] I’ll spend some money, at least tonight. Take some heat off and sleep in a nice place, no bullshit.

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/02(Fri)03:00


Here's my attempt at nanowrimo. Yup!

While voting is "closed" at the approaching (approached now?) time, post past it if you like, idgaf.

image source: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/3004102
>> No. 16141
[x] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.

Ayy, best Yorigami sister story!
>> No. 16142
[x] Might be I can trick some other oni for a place to sleep tonight. I’m not that infamous here, yet...

Momma Yuugi? Momma Yuugi.
>> No. 16143
[X] Can I work that satori over in that castle? I look pretty beat up right now, might be able to trick her—I know satori.

Not the smartest choice, but I really want to see this play out.
>> No. 16144
[X] Can I work that satori over in that castle? I look pretty beat up right now, might be able to trick her—I know satori.
>> No. 16145
[X] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.

A liar in a land of Oni. Good luck.
>> No. 16146
[x] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.

Best Girl? Best Girl.
>> No. 16147
[x] Can I work that satori over in that castle? I look pretty beat up right now, might be able to trick her—I know satori.

Fully agree with this.
>> No. 16148
[x] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.

I bet shes going to be jealous about not getting beaten up.
>> No. 16149
[x] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.
>> No. 16150
[X] Might be I can trick some other oni for a place to sleep tonight. I’m not that infamous here, yet...

What could go wrong?
>> No. 16151
[X] Might be I can trick some other oni for a place to sleep tonight. I’m not that infamous here, yet...

Want to go for something that's a hard skill check. This dude already got busted once, so I want to make sure he's got game and isn't just some poser.
>> No. 16152
File 15411085896.jpg - (185.66KB , 1600x1200 , __yorigami_jo_on_touhou_drawn_by_efukei__b0b7c4ccf.jpg ) [iqdb]
M-Miss Joon is flat, but she's still a girl!
>> No. 16153
File 154112224253.png - (1.68MB , 1145x750 , everyday.png ) [iqdb]
[x] Can I work that satori over in that castle? I look pretty beat up right now, might be able to trick her—I know satori.

She's pretty chill. We should have no problems... heh
>> No. 16154
[X] Might be I can trick some other oni for a place to sleep tonight. I’m not that infamous here, yet...

We go big or we go bridge.
>> No. 16155
[x] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.

Voting after the deadline to show support and spite timezones.
>> No. 16156
File 154114167227.jpg - (234.25KB , 1600x900 , the bridge princess.jpg ) [iqdb]
[X] Maybe I’ll sleep under the bridge that leads into this town. The youkai on top of it ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of me right now.

[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-euxVv9moM ]
[Obituary - TRILOGY (Carpenter Brut)]

I thought it’d be a good idea but...

“Tch... I’m jealous.”

She’s so annoying.

“What the hell do you have to be jealous of? Do you see my face?” I point to make it obvious.

“You’re so pretty, I’m jealous.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, thanks.”

Maybe half a mile out from the city (I don’t know), I’m beneath the bridge that connects the surface and under worlds and my feet are just... angry with me. Bridge ain’t anything special, just a little red and wood thing that makes crossing a rocky, tiny stream far less of a hassle than it could be. Above me, with her arms on the railing, is its... whatever. Guardian? She’s one of the many youkai who were banished here after the surface world got sick of ‘em, and now she spends a hell of a lot of time on a bridge. She’s a hashihime, It means what it means.

“I can pick and choose what to be jealous about, ” she says, “like your rings.”

My rings are really sweet, that’d be a good choice actually. I’ve got four on each hand, some of my last signs that I can actually do this whole “spending cash, getting paid” thing. Well, “paid”. The other signs are my gold bangles and my earrings: hefty, emerald, dangling and diamond-shaped motherfuckers. They make me look great.

I’ve also got a pair of giant amber sunglasses, but... that’s not a sign, I just like these. I keep them hanging off my hoodie’s collar. The hoodie, I could do without.

“You jealous of my gray duds, too?” I ask, trying to be cheeky. I pluck at the short sleeve thing by both sides of my chest, like this crappy, oversized thing is anything worth bragging about.

“I’m jealous you’re not embarrassed by not wearing a skirt,” she tells me.

I answer, “Tch... it’s that obvious? I mean, it covers my thighs but...”

When I first ended up here, I did what I always do in a new town: I walked through like I owned it. Humans eat that up. It always feels nice stepping over them, dazzling them.

Didn’t work on oni.

My diamond-laden overcoat got nicked when I couldn’t foot winnings on a bet, my shoes... I don’t even wanna think about it... and my comfy satin dress got ripped up and ruined when I got caught up in a fight later. Well, I say fight but... really, with oni it’s always just a beat down. Not that I’m a fighter (or a lover, really...)... I threw it away and found this T-hoodie in a dumpster. Looks terrible for sure, but... it’s at least familiar. Gives me a little peace of mind wearing it.

... Wha—?

I spit.

“Ew, don’t do that,” says the bridge princess.

“Shut up.”

I’m thinking weak.

“Haaahh...” I sigh.

Under the bridge really isn’t a good place to sleep. There are spiders and crap down here. The bridge is only good for echoing the sounds of the city, while blocking out most of its lights. The rocks aren’t good for my scrawny backside, and the stream... it’s like a trickle, but it’s cold, and I keep touching it with my toes by accident. I should probably get some shoes.

“You’ve really been in a bad way since you got here,” says the girl above me.

It’s stupid, but I answer her. “Bad ways happen,” I say, “and most often, I’m the one who makes them happen to other people. Right now, it’s just a little wrong direction, a wayward path.” I bring up my knees and hug my arms around them. “I’ll turn around, and get on a gold one.” I glance up her way and say, “Be jealous of that.”

“That confidence makes me jealous,” she says.


That said knowing me it’s going to be some shit crawling up from the bottom here without humans to exploit. Whenever I got in bad with a group of humans before, I could pretty easily shove ‘em away (like, actually just shove ‘em down) and walk off unscathed, but the oni here aren’t pushovers. If I fuck up, I’ve already learned three times that it’s bad news. Before that, even on the surface I got run down more than a few times once the jig was up. And once I get some money... hell yeah I’m gonna wanna spend it.

But none a’ that will ever be enough to stop this whirlwind.

I grin to myself.

I’m going to “want” until the whole world falls to ruin around me; that’s my meaning, that’s my raison d’être, and I’m not someone who ends at wanting.

Sleep now, take on reality tomorrow.

“I’m jealous you can sleep down there.”

Fuck’s sake.

While she jabbers on about random crap and how she’s jealous of my glorious situation, I try to make myself tired by making up plans.

Money, clothes, or hygiene.

Which is most important right now?

More money can mean getting better clothes and a bath faster.

Better clothes means I can get around bett.

Hygiene, I can lie a bit more convincingly to richer people, right?

What’s important is whatever story I spin to whoever’s willing to listen. Like, playing a pity card if I seem poor, or playing a card like “I just fell into some trouble” if I at least smell good while not wearing a skirt or shoes. Money is great because it’s a fast-track solution to most problems, but getting it would mean messing around and I just got some oni angry with me. In the months I’ve been here, aside from my first day I’ve been keeping a low profile.

Ohh... how about this?

Money: I trick some big-spending sap of an oni and clear out quick. Something low-risk... not gambling, since it’s too immediate. Investments, maybe? Something like that... huh...

Clothes: if I can get some shoes, I can explore a lot better. Right now there’re only a few places I know about: some gambling dens, this bridge, the castle in the distance, some unsavory joints I pass by now and then. I could get some pity from someone if I could walk to richer places and not collapse on bleeding feet. Without faith, I’m not healing very quickly nowadays.

Hygiene: I could sweet-talk someone into getting in a love hotel. I don’t think I’ll rob him if I do, but I’ll get a fuckin’ shower at least. That’d just help me all around. If I don’t smell like a trash heap, I can even start sweet-talking more and then start pilfering wallets.

Well well well, that sounds like a set of plans!

So which one should I go with?

[] Money.

[] Clothes.

[] Hygiene.


Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/03(Sat)03:45

>> No. 16157
[x] Clothes.

No shoes is a bitch and a half.
>> No. 16158
[x] Clothes.

Shoes for better absconding when people get inevitably mad at miss Joon.
>> No. 16159
[x] Hygiene.

Can't have Jo'on smelling like a trashcan.
>> No. 16160
[x] Clothes.
Oni probably smell like concentrated alcohol down in the underground, so you might as well get some wear. Clothes do make the woman, after all.
>> No. 16161
[x] Hygiene.

You’re not a smelly bum like your sister.
>> No. 16162
[x] Clothes.

Smell will help us sell the idea that we have hit a low point-which is better because it is completely true.

Also, Parsee, for fuck's sake, you could have lend us a room or something
>> No. 16163
[X] Clothes
Gimme da shoes.
Lack of faith? Guess we just gotta be there one to believe in ourselves then.
>> No. 16164
[x] Clothes.

Shoes are very important.
>> No. 16165

That's the God equivalent of masturbating in public. Not a good look dude.

[X] Hygiene.

Ya pussy stank bitch.
>> No. 16166
[x] Hygiene.

First things first.
>> No. 16167
I can write later, but not right now (when I was hoping to).

Vote's still open for another 9 hours
>> No. 16169
File 154125366814.png - (430.83KB , 900x1350 , a foundling god.png ) [iqdb]
[X] Clothes.


[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-g4QjcWp7c ]
[Blizzard - Feeelings (Light Club)]

Sleep went about as well as it could, and the bridge princess didn’t do shit.

Once I’m all awake, I head out toward a well-known local earth spider, but only after I find a place to hide my rings along the stream. Put ‘em under a big rock, and put a mark on that rock to make sure I know which it is later. I can keep my earrings and bangles, but for right now I’ll get too many questions about the gold I keep on my hands.

I think it’s morning. It feels like that, like the air’s kinda cool and not so dry. Feels like a little water’s clingin’ to my face. Come to think of it...

I stop walking along a smoother path of stones and look at the little stream catching light from the ditch below me. Should I wash my face...? ... Yes... I step onto the slope and carefully make my way down with my arms up. I tell myself: never overplay it. The best way to lie is to speak honestly, and it’s easier to tell a false truth when you’re not in a false getup. So let’s be honest: right now, any normal person would try to clean themselves up a little, even if they didn’t have anything else that’d help them smell better.

I kneel down and dip my finger in the water flow (which’s a little wider here upstream, thankfully—I can actually cup it, prolly) and after a few seconds I check. It... seems clean. Hard to tell by sight. It’s always pretty dark down here when you’re not around civilization. I lift the hem of my sweater-shirt so I can see my thighs and drag my pointing finger along my right one.

I don’t... feel[/i] any sediment...[/i]

This is good to use. I drop the bottom of my hoodie, get onto my knees and start gathering some of it in my hands so I can wash the dirt off my face and arms. God damn but I’d like an actual shower. This brook is colder than a witch’s tit... Agh, whatever. I can also do something about the swelling the oni gave me with this, I guess... I splash my face and let the soiled water fall between my fingers.

... So here’s the plan.

The lady I’m going after, Kurodani Yamame... from what I hear she isn’t exactly known for being charitable, not that I’m trying to make it sound like she’s a stingy bitch like me or something, but like that’s just not her reputation—despite what I’ll be going for. It sounds like she’s a nice youkai... to youkai. Most youkai aren’t fond of gods, but I can change her mind. I’ve just gotta convince her, and nothing’s easier to mold than a soft heart.

After washing my head—the whole thing—I wipe the dirt from my wrists and forearms and... fuck it, I’ll wash my feet too. They’ll get dirty again fast, but they could use some soothing at least. I sit on my bottomless ass (is it a miracle I still have my panties?) and keep my feet in the stream. Ahh, man... Yeah, it’s like shivers all the way up my legs. Soooo much better.

“Hahh...” I sigh very nicely. While I’m doing that, I take some water and pool it in my hands, resting my cheek in the puddle of my palms to heal up my face too. I could really use a cloth for this, but I guess you gotta make do.

It’ll take me a while to cool off every part of me that hurts, but I’m not in a rush. Let’s take our time...

10:30 AM ?

The Kurodani hovel.

Whoa this place looks pathetic.

I’m not gonna say that out loud, but it seriously just looks like a huge pile of dirt with a few holes in it shining light through. Was she a regular spider before becoming a youkai? Like, she’s comfortable with weird claustrophobic holes like this? Eh...

I look over the dirt streets. The city’s pretty far behind and there are a few other houses like this one around that could get you confused if you were looking for one in particular. As she’s a saint Kurodani’s made that easier by marking hers especially, with gold and stripes near the top. Other than that... man; I heard the earth spiders were big on architecture, but it looks like that’s only for work. I bet they’d all live in shoes if they could. Recluses, man. They even act all shady whenever they get work done aboveground, allegedly.

But, that Yamame has a good reputation.

I silently build up my despairing persona. I remember the bad times, remember my early days... Remember Sis, remember the choices we made... Enough to get you down, come on...

I drag my feet to the spider’s door, and rather than knock I call out.

“Um, excuse me? I heard Kurodani Yamame lives here...? Hello...?”

I keep that up for a while, making sure not to put my calls close to each other. I won’t knock either, cause—

“Hey, little one,” I hear from above. A blond-haired head is looking at me from a window. “There’s a door! Don’t you know to knock?”

“Knock like...” while trailing off I look at my hands, “like... ‘knock knock’?” I kinda rap on my left pointer finger with my knuckles, almost pawing at it, playing up like I ain’t never heard of knocking before.

“You don’t know what knocking is? Hold on,” she goes back inside and I can hear her coming down. That’s step one, nothing to celebrate.

Her door is this hard to make out clay thing in the front, and it opens up wide so that I can see her, Kurodani Yamame, in the entrance hall of her decently bright home. She looks like a tomboy, and she’s a little fat. You can tell she’s a sweet type, but not that she spreads diseases and eats up humans whenever she happens to come across them.

“What are you? You don’t seem... like a youkai,” she says squinting and leaning near me.

“Y-You shouldn’t lean too close...! I don’t smell very good these days...” I warn her, backing away. She chuckles, bats a hand in a little motion of rejection.

“Oh come on,” she says, “I work with oni most of the time. You know how long some of them go without bathing?” She puts her hand beside her face and tells me like a secret, “Honestly, sometimes we spiders gotta go a few days without too, if you know what I mean.”

I show an awkward smile. “Oh, uh, no, I don’t,” I tell her.

“All-nighters!” she declares at a high volume, gesturing fantastically. I think she’s nearing my bait. “So? What are you?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I’m... a youkai?” I say turning my head away and glancing in an obvious lie.

“Huh! Do you not know what you are?”

I shrink like I don’t want to say.

“Hmmm...” Kurodani starts spinning one of her locks of hair around her fingers, pouting in thought and a little curiosity. “Well if you want, you can come inside,” she offers, opening her door to me. Pile it on now.

“Ah, no!” I answer quick, jerking back raising my hands, “Really, no! I really shouldn’t get too close to you!”

“‘Cause of the smell?”

“Th-That too, but...” I wilt like I’m a bundle of nerves, sigh, and reveal the kill, “... Actually, I’m a god of pestilence.”

[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VvIiLXZaTQ ]
[Voyager - Hotline Miami 2 (Jasper Byrne)]

That’s it: I tell ya, I’ma get more than shoes in a few minutes.


Like I mentioned, Miss Kurodani Yamame spreads diseases.

In a really strict, classic sense, so do I.

However, both of us don’t do that unless it’s on purpose. Now, here’s the lie: I told her I can’t do anything about it, just like her. Now not like Miss Yamame—she can’t do anything ‘cause her blood makes her bite—I mean like my sister.

“Honestly, as a youkai I wanna say ‘serves you right’ but it really does sound bad,” says Miss Kurodani, standing against a counter in front of me while I sit down on a stool. I went inside eventually, and now I’ve got a cup of hot chocolate. Fuck yes.

“It is,” I admit, “but I came here to find her, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”

“I don’t usually admire gods, but I can’t help but feel for that struggle,” she tells me, and it takes all my power to not grin like a madwoman ‘cause wow.

What a fuckin’ idiot.

I mean really? This is all it took?

Fuckin’ A’ girl, don’t ever go to the Outside World, you’ll get eaten alive. Stuuupid! Ahahahahahaha!!

“Are you sure you only want some shoes I made?” she asks me for the fifth time, noting the pair of perfect and new sandals she cobbled together for me snug and comfy on my dirty feet.

“Oh, no,” I say innocently, “I really don’t want to take all that from you and, honestly, I don’t like how I smell at all so ruining anything nice you make for me will make me feel awful.”

“Again, I said you could take a bath,” she says frankly. I do like her, ya know. She’s straight-shooting and that’s mad respectable, even if pulling one over on her is easier than breathing.

“I’m ending your kindness at this delicious drink you gave me,” I tell her.

“Hot chocolate,” she tells me, smirking, “come around when you smell more like flowers and maybe I’ll give you another cup.”

“Thank you, Miss Kurodani... You really...” I tear up, and stop talking. I pull a girlish hand over my mouth and practiced, carefully, without exaggeration, start choking up too. “I-I thought this place was only full of mo—ah, auhh...” my tears stop short.

“Monsters?” she asks, dropping a hand on my head. Then, she pulls me into a hug. “Listen, if there’s one thing we in the underground know, it’s how valuable we all are to each other.” She pats my back. “You’re a newborn god, but we can help you however you need.”

Mooron~. Moooron~!

Maaan, but that said I gotta be careful about who Miss Kurodani knows. If I meet her again and she’s heard about my first exploits, she’s gonna come at me with a sickness I can’t stop. I may be a pestilence god, but what I infect is bank accounts, wallets, savings, cash. This girl is the real deal, and without a shrine or followers I’d be fucked if she made up a disease that bleeds gods or something and sicced it on me.

Miss Kurodani, I will cordially use your kindness, and start to spread a better name for myself. Spin all my earlier exploits as desperate mistakes.

I’ll say it was all for the sake of family. It was all on the way to Shion.

I wrap one arm around the youkai’s back and can no longer hide the dark smile from my lips.

Thanks, Sis. Look: you’re good for something...



When I’m long out of sight of the spider commune and making my way back toward the Former Capital, I allow myself to spread my arms and breathe in deep the underground air.

And I still smell like a dog. Fantastic!

Miss Kurodani was right, though, most oni may not care about that. But, it’s still a convincing scent, right? That said let’s get rid of it soon, I like, so don’t wanna act the part of the bum. I’m not my sister. No.

Whatever. Let’s get going. I can walk more, I’ve failed a few times, I got this. I want money now. I won’t try tricking some sleazeball with my body and whatever fetishes it might ignite, ‘cause if I fuck up and get, well... fucked... yeah. No. I’m feelin’ like a million dollars. I’m gonna get some cash through legit means: begging, investments, and deals. Fucking oni are always so drunk out their skulls and honesty-addled that I could sell them air. I was wrong trying to get rich quick off of gambling and bombast; the real good game is a long one, and it flies like a rocket. Go up, ditch what got you there... up further... ditch it... keep climbing, keep dropping.

Till you’re in Heaven.

[] Let’s get to the rich district for some grade A begging.

[] Bar and tavern trawling to trick someone into paying big to earn more later.

[] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/04(Sun)12:00

>> No. 16170
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!

The most 2hu-like option.
>> No. 16171
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!
>> No. 16172
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!
>> No. 16173
File 154126374064.jpg - (175.74KB , 850x1220 , image.jpg ) [iqdb]
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!
>> No. 16174
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!

This is some grade "A" Real Idol Suffering right here.
>> No. 16175
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!

I mean, selling lies for shoes worked well enough so far.
>> No. 16176
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!

Usually its Reimu who makes schemes to get faith and money, but she also always fails.
But Joon is a professional so its certainly going to be fine right?
>> No. 16177
[x] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!

This will totally not backfire horribly on us in any conceivable way, no siree.
>> No. 16178
[x] Bar and tavern trawling to trick someone into paying big to earn more later.

No one? We gotta get to the watering hole to establish our reputation, not mess around like some wannabe miko!
>> No. 16179
[x] Let’s get to the rich district for some grade A begging.

Scope out the competition.
>> No. 16180
[x] Bar and tavern trawling to trick someone into paying big to earn more later.

Tide pissin'.
>> No. 16182
File 15413435837.png - (506.21KB , 750x500 , street life.png ) [iqdb]
[X] Find some poor sap willing to fall for the schemes of a god. Selling lies for faith and money! Viva religion!

[ ♫: http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=9vzLiHHvK0w ]
[It’s Safe Now - Hotline Miami (Scattle)]

Unlike with youkai, being a god ain’t intuitive. You either get born into godhood, or ascend into it, maybe get some fancy power or something. Then, if you’re fodder, you just become the divine spirit of a rock or something. If you’re anything else, this’s where things get into the work of life. Nothing’s imprinted.

If you’re a god and you want more, generally you need faith. This’s somewhere else where we’re different from monsters: our faith can come from anything, as long as it can think. We don’t need humanity. We use it. And why’s that? Why else?

For power.

Like I said, being a god ain’t intuitive, and that’s pretty much why. How about this? Think about it: humans came after gods, they weren’t here from the start. The same goes for the “need” for faith. I think unless you were actually born from the power of faith itself, your existence won’t, like, rely on it. For anyone else (like me) even if you zero-out on faith, that just means almost or no power at worst. Like shit man, you’re still breathing. In my case it means nothing. I don’t need to be worshipped, I just deserve it. My powers still flare with or without belief.

SO, BASICALLY, even now when a god wants to collect faith, it’s not something that comes natural, ‘cause the whole faith game’s not, like, some tree that took root in an age before history; it’s a building, a tower—a design by conniving hands. You’ve gotta master that design, and if you want to... if you wanna be a divine power worth anything at all... you’ve got two paths, basically: the path of strength, or the path of wisdo—no... wiles. Guess which I’m taking.

All that said my faith has never been consistent and that’s fine. I think of that as my nurtured nature, I go in cycles: gathering faith, then abandoning believers after they figure out I’m just a parasite. It’s all brief spurts of crazy splendor, but that’s... man, that’s what I live for. Anyway, oni aren’t human but the same sort of schemes I use on humans can work on them. See everybody wants something, even these Zen oni, hiding away from the rest of the world. Find out what that is, and make them think you can give it to them. Love, wealth, success, reason, retribution... whatever it is they’re askin’ for, and if you want a real faithful belief sack, you make ‘em scared of your wrath, too. Not really my style right now though. My style is more like fishing.

So that’s what I’m doin’ here, doin’ my best to look like I’m at peace, sitting cross-legged on one of the busiest streets in the Former Capital with my eyes almost totally shut. I washed off my feet and (waterproof!!) shoes before coming here, and got my jeweled rings back. All that walking and I still feel like a million bucks. You really can’t go wrong with something under your feet—and there ain’t no better hands at “making” than earth spiders’. These shoes? Star-level fine. I gotta get more free duds from Miss Yamame... though I’d like ‘em more if they, like, sparkled ya know? Wait, wait—whatever. Right now: people-watching.

Like I said I’m only almost shutting my eyes. They’re open, and my ears are too. I’m paying attention to everyone around me, and trying to see which looks like the easiest mark, the most useful mark, the best mark... ‘Cause just getting any sorta guys one by one doesn’t make a church, it’s getting the guys who tell their friends.

So far no one’s jumpin’ out at me; it’s mostly the usual oni getting by for the daily grind of this Old Hell, so I guess I’m probably right that it’s probably the middle of the day. A little tougher... but it’s safer too. My reputation’s foulest with the nightlife, though if I’m lucky (I usually am) it’s only messed up with a few of its members overall.

Something most people don’t really get is that oni are really sensitive. I guess it’s easy for people with no backbone to miss that over the spitting, violent rage they tend to blow up with when their hearts are broken. But that’s the thing: they rage when their hearts are broken because their hearts are easy to break. Most oni are, ultimately, some of the chilliest fuckers that roll through the few realms they still choose to tread, but that’s ‘cause they live like the world’s perfect. Any time the world shows them something contradicting that thought, they get hurt.

So I’m looking for those who look hurt, because though it’s easy to trick just about any oni, sober or not, there’s rarely any good reason to overplay your hand—take the low-hanging fruit. Only take risks when you know you can fly off once shit goes south. I can’t even fly right now, and I’m not plannin’ to work these shoes any more than I gotta.

Good business...

Looks like he just won something...

Up on his luck... Just happy...

This guy sounds tired.

This one got laid, probably.

Well shit, is that Hoshiguma Yuugi? Don’t see me, don’t see me...

Hmmm... oh?

This one.

This one’s depressed.

A lanky demon of a guy is trudging along the street, maybe three meters tall. He’s gangly, his gray-clouds kimono’s all open showing his almost too-thin torso, visible ribs. He’s tatted. Part of an oni-gumi. He’s actually dragging his knuckles on the floor, they’re that long. His horns are long, too, like ibex-tier, seriously. Gray skin. Those tats are pretty sweet, gotta say. He’s mumbling a little through those thin and black lips. Hm? He closed up his kimono when he noticed where he was. Oni are too honest for that shit to worry them, usually. This guy...

He’s lost faith in his brothers.


Family. That’s what he wants. Looks like you’ll come in handy again, Sis. Miss Yamame, you too. If I do this right...

I breathe in.

“More precious than the bonds of blood...” I say in a clear voice, drawing a few eyes, “are the bonds one makes in life, for those are they which speak to the truth of trust. To the true power of life. That we may rely on each other... even without a single drop of that red and natural pretense.”

And then I have his.

“Excuse me,” I call, looking toward him, with a serene face, “I think you there have lost that understanding.”

“Huh...?” he whispers. God damn my ears are good. He looks a little weepy. God, in the end they’re all such big softies. Get over here, you softy.

“Please.” I open my hands, inviting him. This trick is one of the best: calling to someone in a crowd really makes them feel like a spotlight’s on them. He stomps over and towers above me, looking down on my tiny body. “Hello,” I say, “I am Yorigami Joon, a god of pestilence.”

“‘Pestilence’...?” he repeats in a coal dark voice. I wonder how old he is. Looks a bit young but that never means anything with oni. “What is a god of pestilence doing preaching about relationships?”

“I am trying to turn my power toward some kind of good,” I say. “Who chooses how they’re born? While that’s no one, anyone can choose their path in life.” I turn my hands over my lap, looking down at them fondly. “But it is no easy task... After a few months’ worth of attempting to do the best I can, all I’m left with are these rings: my mother, my father, my cousin, and my aunt,” I touch them one by one, bullshitting entirely, “my friend, my companion, my... sister,” deliberate, “and this...” I point to the last finger on my right hand, “is me.”

“You can’t go against your nature,” the oni speaks wisely, sitting before me, and still his head (even with him slouching) is way over mine. He rests his lengthy hands on his thighs and tells me, “it’s only a path of ruin, that one. Yours.”

I shake my head. “I can’t really be swayed that easily, Mister Oni.”

“Uradaka,” he says, “that’s my old name. Uradaka Ouzu.”

“As I thought,” I say disappointedly, “you have abandoned your family.”

“No!” he says in despair, sinking into an even worse seating posture, “they abandoned our promises.”

Shit, I might end up feeling bad for this guy if he keeps giving off that sadness aura. I’m not just saying that, I can feel his sorrow, it’s one of the things that helps me find people ready to lose it all.

I reach out my hand, placing it over the back of his (which is seriously gigantic, holy crap), and ask him, “Shall I bless you?”

“Even oni aren’t that ‘truth’ foolish. You are incapable of giving blessings,” he tells me, and the movement of his shoulder makes it seem like he’ll throw me off. Uh oh, quick.

“With many gods,” I say, taking his hand up very gently, “their powers are dual-focused. There is something else I can give other than a poor condition.”

“What?” he asks bluntly. And as I imbue him with it I say:


That isn’t a lie. I don’t really want to ever, but I can give people hope; it’s one of the reasons humans flock to me. For people who have it, hope is pretty fucking useless. You can’t buy a designer handbag and gold rings with hope. You need will to do anything, and I guess at best hope can spur will but...

It’s just feel-good bullshit.

“In the end, my afflictions are not done simply to spite others. The other side of the despair they leave the afflicted is hope, and I would like you to have some.”

It’s about time for the sell.

“Hope won’t rescue this, little goddess,” he tells me the facts, even as my little power flows into him, “I can’t allow it.”

“... I see...” I say disappointedly, putting his hand back down. I’m a little curious about what beef he’s got with whatever family he’s part of that’d break him up so bad, but I don’t need that info for the se—

“We were trafficking young gods, meaning to sell ‘em, however.”


My hands are still on his, and he doesn’t notice my nails dig into him.

“T... Traffic?”

“Humans and animals that have ascended, we traffic them,” he tells me, and my skin goes cold.

M—My act, gotta keep it up...

But my heart is beating fast. That—... I’d heard about that.

“Have... you...”


Stop right there, Joon.

No. Cool it.

If you fucking bring it in now... If you get this guy now... Listen, it can wait. What good would it do getting confirmation? You can’t do anything. You’ve got no clout. You’ve got no strength. Wait.


And just... hope a little...

[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnMftJRvz3A ]
[Inner Animal - Hotline Miami (Scattle)]

“Have you considered... stopping that?” I ask him, not looking in his face.

“What do you mean, little goddess?”

“A wonderful spider... told me the truth of it: that this is an entire world willing to help do the right thing.” I grab his hand again and look fiercely in his eyes. “Mister Uradaka... I will help you, if you will help me.”

“Sudden. What are you thinking?”

“I want to grow strong off that ideal Kurodani Yamame spoke of. I want the strength of this world to be mine, and to be a part of that family,” I tell him. “Because I have someone to save.”


Am I lying?

“My sister.”

“You were preaching about the value of bloodless bonds, girl,” Uradaka tells me.

“I want both,” I tell him.

“... Hmph, what a strange little shrineless god I found today,” he says with a very slight smirk. “I can say your hope is moving my heart, but is that all you can do? You sounded like you weren’t keen on using your more despicable abilities.”

“I can do more than foster hope,” I say, speaking into my chest. “I can give hope actualization.” I lock eyes with him again. “I am a god. First-most, what I am capable of is making miracles happen.”

“Then make one happen now,” he requests.

“I can’t without more faith,” I say honestly, again lowering my head. “I am weak.”

“You are,” he agrees, “... but let’s say I believe you.”

A familiar feeling alights in my core. My eyes go wide.

I look at Uradaka... no, Ouzu.

“Mister... Ouzu?”

He stands to his towering height, and his eyes look like they’re shining in the shadows of his face. I finally notice his sideburns and goatee, like how kept they are. I finally notice the scars along his limbs.

“Give me something to believe in strongly, Yorigami,” he prays. My hands aren’t moving from where they were. He turns around, his kimono flowing. “You can find me in the Ibuki Quarter of the noble district. Come with proof that you are a god.”

He walks away.

What the fuck did you do???

That didn’t go by the plan at the end at aaaaall!




And just when I got a lead like that...! Fuck!

I’m seriously sweating cold... I mean like, I could just give up on this but...

He’ll know where she is.

He’s got connections to increase my number of faithful.

And most importantly...

He’s GOTTA be rich.

It’s an opportunity. I should do something about it.

But... what!?

[] Write-in


Think... Think...

Miracles down here... that I can do...

[] Could always... break out the parlor tricks. Most of ‘em oni wouldn’t’ve seen...

[] Hoshiguma... says she’ll never spill her sake... Is my power enough to...?

[] The... satori’s little sister? Right? Wasn’t there talk about her and “hope”...?

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/05(Mon)08:00

>> No. 16183
[x] Hoshiguma... says she’ll never spill her sake... Is my power enough to...?



>> No. 16184
[X] Hoshiguma... says she’ll never spill her sake... Is my power enough to...?

Joon-chan fighto! Your adoring fans will give you strength.

Faith generated from this vote = Rolling 1d100 => 19
>> No. 16185
>> No. 16186
[x] The... satori’s little sister? Right? Wasn’t there talk about her and “hope”...?

Would be interesting to see how you write Koishi
>> No. 16187
slow day all around THP

just in case I can weasel out more votes, let's up the timer

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/05(Mon)12:00
>> No. 16188
[x] Hoshiguma... says she’ll never spill her sake... Is my power enough to...?

There is no way this could possibly go wrong.
>> No. 16189
[x] Hoshiguma... says she’ll never spill her sake... Is my power enough to...?

already in panic mode
>> No. 16190
File 154143482446.png - (562.90KB , 1000x1333 , hey there.png ) [iqdb]
[X] Hoshiguma... says she’ll never spill her sake... Is my power enough to...?


I am going to die.

No stylish flair to that statement, I am *fucked*.

When I think about doing something miraculous in the Underground, one of the few things that comes to mind is breaking a legendary streak a certain oni’s been keeping up for years. The thing is, this oni is the strongest one except for maybe the one who left. Let’s not mince words here: oni are already pretty outrageous. Oni like her? Break. Rules. Bullshit. I’m talking “trouncing any idea of weakness” bullshit. I’m talking “not even rumored to’ve ever been defeated” bullshit. “This chick could probably give the Dragon a black eye” bullshit.

And that’s why it’d be a miracle... if I could break her streak. Not only that, I’ve gotta do it a special way... Ouzu wants to see what I can do without using my powers that more obviously make me a pestilence god. I still will... I’d have to, but if I do I can’t be aggressive and fucky about it. I’m going to challenge Hoshigumi Yuugi to a fight, and I’m gonna tell her I’ll make her spill her drink without me ever fighting at all.

Which means the likelihood is that I’m dead.

Aboveground there’re these things called spell cards that everyone plays with for happy ha ha fun times when they want to “fight”. Dangerous fights? Not allowed. Whereas down here, nothing’s changed in a thousand years. If you want blood, you’ll have it. And while Hoshiguma Yuugi’s actually a pretty nice old lady who holds back for most of her fights... I am going to piss her off.

Times like this I wish I had some faithful... Someone, anyone, believe in me for the next three hours. Sign of the cross, clap your hands twice, Namu Amida Butsu, piss on the Blarney Stone. Let’s do this.


[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCjZSCte8Is ]
[Guided Meditation - Hotline Miami 2 (Old Future Fox Gang)]

The first thing I do is find her. Then, I stalk her. Openly. She’s dense.

Yuugi is a pretty classic oni. Adorably straightforward, but that means no double-talk, nothing subtle. And, like, the level of “subtle” for her is “you just didn’t say it outright”.

But she’s not an idiot. No, she’s an innocent... even after how long she’s been around.

I admire her, if I’m being real. A bruiser, unshakable, just, and she’s got huge tits. She’s an incredible woman, that’s why I didn’t wanna meet her: I’m trash.

I keep following her until she heads to a promenade. They’re not really popular here, and like most days it’s empty here besides us. I mean... what’s there to see? ‘Specially if you been down here a long time. But, I’ve seen her walk this walk a lot. The city behind us, the Palace of Earth Spirits to the right of us, and to the left a spiral mess of caves and falling water. The promenade itself is like a giant wooden bridge, but it’s not actually crossing anything, they just put it here near the ground like, “whatever”. Anyway, now’s the time.

“I’m following you!” I shout when she’s a good ten yards away from me.

Hoshiguma Yuugi, the blond giant of the Underground, the girl with the red horn, the Strong, puts a hand on her neck, cracks it once, and takes a step back with her left foot to half-turn in order to see me. Her skirt turns with her, making me look down without thinking. Great, now I look like I ain’t got no backbone.

Yuugi the Strong drops her hand.

“Ah, I thought for a sec that might be it,” she says. Then, she frowns, she shrugs, and she turns back around.

“Wait!” I yell desperately. Shiiit, what am I doing? “Where’s your sake?”

“Sake? It’s morning,” she says, “I’m not Suika.” She’s referring to the one that bounced.

“I need to show you up,” I yell to her, making the Hoshiguma very confused.

“Huh? What?”

“A challenge!”

She seems to double check in her head what she just heard, her mouth open since she’s that perplexed. Then, she understands, and that open mouth goes smirk.

“Oho... challenged by a little god!? You’ve got guts! My sake, huh...?” She folds her arms after saying this, thinking. She’s just going on and on... “You want a fight, then!?”

“I want you to fight me,” I say pointing at myself, “and I’m gonna make you spill the whole dish... on your head... without any fighting back.”

“... Huh!? That’s your vow!?” She rolls her neck and pulls her arms apart wide. As she slams her hand into the opposite palm in the next second (nearly giving me a heart attack through the vibrations alone) she declares, “But you’re so weak! Can you even do anything at all?”

Ha ha... fuck.

“I need to do this,” I tell her, “so it’s not a matter of whether I can or can’t.” I lock eyes with her. “I’m gonna.”

She’s happy...

“Ha! ... Okay, let’s go then,” she accepts my challenge, and immediately pulls her red lacquer, yellow-starred sake dish from her right side (come to think of it, there’s a yellow star on her red horn, too: how cute). From her left, she lifts a giant gourd of sake. Well..

She’s muscular, she’s fast, she hasn’t spilled a drop in six years.

Once she gets mad with me that’s when the trouble starts...

But, for now...

... Let’s have a game plan.

[] Her skirt is long as hell. Can I make it so she’ll probably trip?

[] Maybe I can use the environment of this walkway itself, uh... The railings, maybe?

[] She didn’t finish all of that gourd. Maybe I can slip her up with something like that.


No timer this time. Missed the deadline cause I was focusing on other writings! Believe me!
>> No. 16191
(to be clear there is no actual deadline aside from the end of the month)

(the goal is just 30 updates before december)
>> No. 16192
[x] She didn’t finish all of that gourd. Maybe I can slip her up with something like that.

Using cunning seems slightly more likely to work than trying to make an oni screw up physically.
>> No. 16193
[x] She didn’t finish all of that gourd. Maybe I can slip her up with something like that.

wakarimasen lol
>> No. 16194
[X] She didn’t finish all of that gourd. Maybe I can slip her up with something like that.

>> No. 16195
Let's give it until here:

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/06(Tue)11:00

>> No. 16196
[X] She didn’t finish all of that gourd. Maybe I can slip her up with something like that.

A lying scammer who cheats trying to make an oni spill her sake with subterfuge.
I can see absolutely nothing going wrong here.
>> No. 16197
File 154150728334.jpg - (213.87KB , 590x900 , you're going to NEED hope.jpg ) [iqdb]
[X] She didn’t finish all of that gourd. Maybe I can slip her up with something like that.

[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N0zUVXPbRU ]
[The Engineer’s Epic - The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile (James Silva)]

I swallow, and steel my nerves. It’s now or never, she ain’t gonna wait on me.

She steps down once and the whole promenade waves out from her foot. Showin’ off, she shows me how the sake in her cup isn’t even rippling. Just for a second. Just a second, then she jumps at me while the boards below us are still waving. My powers of misfortune aren’t the same or as strong as my sister’s, but I gotta use them now. I draw up disaster in my lungs and breathe it out... onto myself.

The pier-like walkway below me shatters just as Hoshiguma Yuugi gets close to me. She looks confused.

“It shouldn’t’ve broken...” she notes, and it’s like time’s slowing down between us. Boards and splinters fly, my whole body drops without a solid floor below me. Yuugi’s got her leg ready to swing at me, but she’s hesitating. A plank passes by her eyes... another... another. I bend back, contort myself right, hide my right hand with my left, and bring my body close to the gourd on her hip. Can I do it...!? Just one step...!

Hoshiguma Yuugi stops her forward motion, driving her foot down straight through the storm of debris and quaking the earth when she makes contact, shooting dirt up like a geyser. Sounds like a fuckin’ bomb went off. She lifts the dish onto her pointer finger, breathes in, and brings her free hand up. I see that it’s clenched, and her veins are pumping. Oohhh fuck.

Nothing I can really do here, honestly. I brace, and hope my godly body can tank at least one of her punches. She swings the thing like a wrecking ball, and I... dodge it.

Yuugi’s punch dusts everything that was already broken, and the wind coming out of it feels like a typhoon, almost knocking me off my feet. I’m beside her, not sure at all what the fuck happened. She looks at me, grins and says, “Ha... alright,” like now things are interesting.

But what the hell was that!? I moved without thinking! Hoshiguma Yuugi sets her dish on all five of her fingertips and lowers herself. She doesn’t look like she’s gonna hit me, and that makes me way more worried. Back up... back up back up back up!

Next thing I know I’m way away from her, and she gives a fucking terrifying shout. The air around her explodes outward and the ground underneath her fractures again, huge chunks of the earth getting hurled way up above us. That’s... fuckin’ IMPOSSIBLE! WHAT! Fuckin’ god, thank shit I got outta her range somehow... I look at my hands and down at my feet. Somethin’ funky’s goin’ on.

“Very good!” Yuugi yells, looking at me through raining stones and wood. “The golden flame! How long’s it been!?”

“Wha—hwhuh??” I babble. The hell’s she talkin’ about?

“But it’s still small,” she says, standing to her full height again. She catches a boulder bigger than her head and looks at me, all fulla excitement. She starts to let the rock fall. Then, she shouts “I’ll stoke it!” and she taps the stone my way with her knuckle. It flies like a bullet.

“AAGH! NOOO!!” I scream and dash out of its way. I look behind myself to see that it collided with a stalagmite off and past a turn of the promenade and burst it apart. I look back at Yuugi and see that she’s walking slow, careful, over my way, and tapping stones toward me over and over. I’ve got to dodge, mostly just narrowly avoiding shit since I can only move fast in bursts. She won’t let up... It’s like high stakes danmaku, fuck.

I eventually dodge another one and stop with my fingers to the ground, breathing hot and heavy ‘cause I thought I was gonna die. I see a large foot drop in front of my eyes. Aw... aww, shit...

Hoshiguma Yuugi stands above me with a smile, her free hand on her hip. Okay... Okay, now what?

“What’s the golden flame?” I ask her.

“Hn? ... Ahh, you don’t know what it is,” she says. YEAH, NO SHIT.

“Keep bringing it out and you’ll see!” she cries, and she brings her right leg all the way up. Whoa! Her panties!

Her calf falls like an axe and I blaze back. Oh what... She’s right: I see it. On either side of the chasm Yuugi made, there’s a single, dying, trail of shining yellow fire left behind from my feet. I quickly look down at my heels and see two spirals of the stuff are swirling around there, spinning like wheels beside the bone. “Hey! What is that!?” I yell.

“No, not yet,” she says. She’s fucking toying with me! I’m completely on the back foot, I haven’t even been thinking about what I had to do here in the first place. Golden flames whatever—look, I don’t care. I don’t care. I can make short and rapid movements... somehow. How can I use this to my advantage?

I look at her with determination and fill my lungs with curses again. She takes a step forward, and I rush in, breathing out over myself again. I trip over my ankles, and she looks surprised, concerned. Yuugi reaches out to catch me at my chest and when she does I breathe out the rest onto her. Misfortune takes hold, and her hand spasms suddenly. Though she went for my chest she collides with my shoulder instead. I spin while she grabs hold of me, I reach out, and I tug down her dress.

“Whoa!” she yelps, and while she’s distracted by how her cotton panties are on display, I hide within her dress, stretch out my hand, find the stopper of her gourd, and super loosen it.

Yes...! I think, taking my hand back, but Yuugi unexpectedly pulls me away from her while she’s trying to readjust her stance and my fingers get under the waistband of her undies. Oh no...! I overdid it! Even though I don’t want to, even though I try to take my hand off in time—!

I end up pantsing Yuugi the Strong.

My eyes widen at the sight of her flaxen bush. It just looks... awesome! Like a lion or something! And she keeps it so well! Like, I wish I had pubes like tha—

Yuugi lets go of me and I fall down wrapped up in her skirt. I poke my head out and see her yanking her panties back on. I can’t see her eyes, but I can see her hand: its fingers twitching, cracking sounds popping off from it as she holds in a trembling claw. “You. What are you up to?” she asks coldly.

“Abah, ah,” is what I say.

“You’re a pestilence god, right?” she asks, and I see one of her eyes, cold and red as it locks onto me. “What are you trying to pull?”

“Y...” I start, telling myself to stop inside my head, “Your panties down, ha... haha...”

Energy surges off of her and I get violently shoved and rolled back, somehow managing to get on my hands and knees as her power rushes out relentless. I feel something on me. I look down and see that her skirt’s now gotten wrapped around my shoulders and is billowing out behind me like a cape now. I hold it in place, and look at the wrathful oni in her underwear.

R... Right, soooo... here’s the deal: it’s only a matter of time before I can pull off the plan I had, but... I figured she’d get pissed off at me when we did this, but I fucked around with misfortune too much and now she’s all out. Uhh...

I get up onto my feet, and it’s like I’m standing in front of a storm.

... Right.

[] Beg forgiveness.

[] Plead mercy.

[] Survive.
>> No. 16198
File 154150799782.gif - (967.67KB , 160x160 , oedQy1j.gif ) [iqdb]
>> No. 16199
[X] Objective: Survive
>> No. 16200
Probably no timer here until update also because ol Kizin has an awful, long day tomorrow
>> No. 16201
File 154151440337.jpg - (142.34KB , 850x850 , __yorigami_jo_on_touhou_drawn_by_kibayashi_kimori_.jpg ) [iqdb]
[x] Survive
>> No. 16202
[X] Objective: Survive

>> No. 16203
[x] Survive.

Apologizing or begging for mercy seems much more sensible, in the short term, but this choice might be the only way to pull off the plan.

I’d say our odds of survival depend significantly on whether Jo’on can do the “golden flame” thing when Yuugi’s tapped out of misfortune. Hopefully so, it seemed like something she was doing instinctively/subconsciously. I’m curious to learn more what that was about.

No worries, best of luck getting through the day.
>> No. 16204
[x] Plead mercy.

Oni hate cowardice and starting a fight only to start begging for mercy is super chickenshit. It's a fifty-fifty chance whether pissing her off further will make things easier or harder, but it's hopeless already, so...
>> No. 16205
[x] Survive.

>> No. 16206
File 154159406532.jpg - (28.74KB , 1024x487 , survive.jpg ) [iqdb]
[x] Survive
>> No. 16207
File 154160261321.png - (903.60KB , 1052x744 , primal youkai.png ) [iqdb]
[X] Survive.

[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=milYHJ8xtIk ]
[Roller Mobster time.]

12:10 in the afternoon

Old Hell, the common district

It’s time for a break.

In a dining room of a small workplace surrounded by many other homes and shops shaped like it, a pair of builders take their time with plates of charred fish and cups of tea.

“Pass the shouchuu,” says one.

“Bloody oni...” says the other, “it’s not even five o’clock, we still have work to do.”

“Drink, spider! Twelve is the time to loosen up!”

“I’ll just end up loosening foundations that way.”


“Ugh, chill alrea... hn? Do you feel that?”

“Feel? Hm? Nah, I’m not as sensitive as a spider.”

“Then can you hear it? It’s going like ‘don’, ‘don’, ‘don’...”


“... Dude, the cups and plates are shaking.”

“... We should probably clear outta here man.”


“No, uh...”

“Out with i... Hm? Ain’t it getting loude—?”

The building is destroyed as the wall behind them explodes.

Wisps of fires catch the eyes of the two, and the earth spider between them notes a small, light red-headed girl looking panicked and horrified stepping off their now flying table. The oni meanwhile sees one of his kings.

     ░  ▓▒▒ ▒░ ▓▓░
    ▓ ░░▓▒▓░▒ ▓▓▓ ▒░
     ▓░▓▒ ▓▒▒▓░




I get why humans are afraid of youkai, now. My heart is gonna blow outta my chest.

Yuugi’s been chasing me for like only two minutes and she’s flattened a good stretch of the neighborhood on the way. I’m hopping reverse and holding onto her skirt while it flows over my back. Whatever that fire is that’s dancing at my heels, it seems like it’s got no limit. I can go and go and go, and I really need to.

“I knew it!” I hear. “It’s Boss Yuugi and she’s pissed!”

Come to think of it I guess this avalanche I’m escaping from was a building before. Through the dust, falling walls and ceiling, metal dropping down bent and broken, I’m only paying attention to the oni swelling with muscle only a little bit away from me, her head lowered, her right hand held up, holding a wide sake dish perfectly steady. Come on...

“Wh-Whoa, where’s her skirt?”

“Don’t LOOK, you fuckin’ idiot!”

Fuckin’ what? Some sorta comedy routine?

I dash down to a dirt road and slide and skid my way right, keeping an eye on the clouds and ruins I’m clearing. I stop and I stand on one of my feet, leaning back; I see the outline of the giant who’s after me, along with clearly seeing two guys with sand on their heads.

One of them with black hair points at me, looking shocked, the other who’s got pointy horns pushes their head down angrily and looks like he’s yelling. Then, Yuugi puts her hand on her fellow oni’s upper arm, doesn’t wait at all, and just shoves him off to her right. He and the other guy both blast off into the building next to this one, opening its wall and starting its way to collapse. Yuugi steps out, still only in her panties.

... You know what, it is kinda funny. I just realized we’re both dressed like that. I kinda forgot about that with the whole running for my life thing.

Other people start coming out of their homes and businesses. We’re in the common district, looks like. They point and comment, and the guys and girls who point keep getting their hands slapped. Yeah, I mean... it’s her.

She sees where I am and barrels at me quick. Yeah. I’m getting used to that part. The part that keeps fucking me up is, after I dodge her attempts to rip me apart or grab me or lob my head off with a kick, a lotta the time weird shit happens.

What sort of weird shit?

This time, one of her nails rips open my shirt at the stomach (which close ta makes me piss myself—everything goes tight down there and I don’t breathe for couple a’ seconds), and while I’m thinkin’ to back off I notice some sparks and arcing electricity coming off her arm. I curse and jump away, but before I can bounce a bolt of lightning falls down from the cave roof and hits my left arm, rippling up to my shoulder and flying off at my fingertips. I can’t even feel the limb anymore, which I appreciate because it looked like it fuckin’ hurt. When I zigzag backward, it just sorta limply flails along. Eventually, I stop, and I stare.

Yuugi looks down on her fingers and the blue power whipping off of them while more lightning slams down around her. She clenches her hand in a flash and the force of that shit makes my shirt ripple. The lightning stops just like that. So, yeah. That kinda weird.

See, the last time she stomped down when I was a little too away from her and it felt like I suddenly got put on Jupiter. Like seriously gravity just fuckin went twenty times up and my whole body ate the ground. Getting the fuck outta there wasn’t easy...

I did hear she could “control” unexplainable phenomena... I guess that means “she just does” to whatever? Yikes...

She locks on to me again, I get in a not fight but flight-ready stance, and she comes. And here we are, right back on the back foot again, playing the running game. She lunges at me with kicks, tries backhanding me, throws out headbutts with that spike of hers, the works. I flit around her attacks mostly instinctively, but I know I have to keep an eye out for when shit gets weird again. This is totally flying by the seat of your pants...

Anyway... about that plan.

Hoshiguma Yuugi’s like a walking embodiment of “god mode”, and yeah, yeah, I know; funny coming outta me. I guess it’s appropriate: I’m trying to cheat her, and she’s a natural cheater. All this destruction, all these attacks... and I swear I ain’t even seen the sake in that cup fuckin’ sway. She hasn’t jostled that gourd much, either... I was lucky to get her skirt but not her belt. I need to get her to knock that thing open.

She arches back, her left arm raised, readying up a haymaker. I take a breath, drop low, and exhale foul luck over myself again.

“No you don’t,” she mutters, and before I can dash under her arm she opens her hand and drops it on me like a UFO catcher. I let go of her skirt and drop even lower.

She closes her hand.

I dash.

Her finger catches on the back of my sweatshirt.

I trip.

She rips the cloth open.

My face falls into her crotch.


Damn it...! ... Not exactly what I wanted to happen... My nose is pressed up on her privates, I’m wincing and making a frustrated expression, but then I think to myself, Hey Fates? Smelling this I’m not sure you know what ‘bad’ luck is. Not for nothing, but Hoshiguma Yuugi’s seriously S-ranking down here.

“Whoafuck!” I exclaim, and hope nobody heard me cussin’ that loud—I was wantin’ to maintain a clean image for later, at least a clean personality. But, I couldn’t help it. She started rumbling the air.

Everything is shaking like we’re in the ruthless hands of a toddler, and I pull her skirt back down over me as I try to regain my footing. I notice I can’t hear anything, look up, and damn near shit myself.

Hoshiguma Yuugi is yelling in my face, her eyes totally white, her jaw dropped way too open, her teeth looking like fucking spikes and blinding. At least I think she’s yelling. Her shout made me deaf. I shakily stand up under the pressure of her voice and metaphorical-like stand to the pressure of her terror. Look her right in the eyes, only managed to stand halfway, and I look fierce. She’s roaring. I’m reaching, right for those bottoms.

Something feels like it pops inside me, I throw up and blood comes out. She got louder. The earth below us starts breaking. I lift up off my feet from the force of her screaming. I look around us and see glass exploding off of windows, and I get thrown back like a fucking rag.

But I saw it.

The stopper on her gourd fell off.

“OOHHGH, FUAAGH!” I cry, or I think that’s probably what it sounded like since I tried to say fuck. I got used to demolish a telephone pole. Yeah, they got phones down here. It splits at the base and crashes down behind me. I fall in a heap. I try to whisper “step two in the bag”, and it felt like it worked. Like my vocal cords moved and shit. I spit a lot though. I open my eyes and notice something’s wrong... like, I can’t really see? I think she kinda made me blind. Oh, fuck... something’s definitely broken... Up... up and at ‘em, Joon.

I put my right hand down on the ground and push my torso up, lifting my head, seeing blurred bright crimson, looking through a white-filled filter to where Hoshiguma should be. My luck... she’s still yelling.

You’re a god... You’re a god...! I tell myself, biting down, pushing more, seeing blood dripping through my teeth, dragging my right leg up under me. Fucking listen, Joon! Stand the FUCK UP!

I punch the earth, and it starts a fire.

“Whoa! I’ve seen that before, that’s...”

My ears are starting to work again.

“... I’ve seen purple before, but...”

My eyes are clearing up too.

“... blue in the— district...”

Up on my right foot, knuckles down in the dirt, I look over at Hoshiguma Yuugi through a raging spiral of golden flames.

“Yeah...!” she bellows in the distance, holding her hand shut so fierce I think her bicep’s gonna burst, “YEAH!!

Well here we are, not knowing what the fuck is going on.

... Aaaand there go my flames.

Keep them up!!” she shouts angrily.

“Don’t even fuckin’ know how to turn ‘em on...” I grumble finally fully standing up. Alright... not much more after this. What broke was... one of my ribs. What popped was... god, can we not think about it? All you gotta know is I feel like a fucking corpse.




Cheering... This is Hell alright.

I flip Yuugi off.

Yep, here she comes.

I had to drop her skirt to do that (which should’ve hidden the gesture too). I quickly scoop it back up while she’s running. When she’s close, she throws a punch.

It’s a punch I can thankfully still dodge, but a red tornado starts to burn off of her arm. Please. No.

She looks at me hard as if to say “yes”.

And now it’s just hot. I look to my left to see that the force of that flier alone went and wrecked a fountain that was reeeaaally far away, and pushed the people watching back through their front doors. This heat cyclone is just going to fuck me. It isn’t fire, it’s just heat. I put up her skirt like it’d help me as a shield, and it gets more and more sweltering every time a whip of her strange power waves over me. I start sweating like I just ran a marathon through the Outback, and I see that her body is glistening too. It’s not the time at all to be thinking this, but Hoshiguma Yuugi is fucking gorgeous. This is hot.

She pulls her arm in with her knuckles still ready, like she’s cocking a fucking shotgun. I gotta stay and take this... I can’t back off just yet. I step down and my yellow flames burn up, up, higher, higher, until they’re surrounding my body. Her red power is still going too. I throw her skirt over my back again, and I just stare at her.

She grins.

Go, bitch!

And like that once again I’m dodging, but I notice it isn’t like before. Before she was doing power swings, like always build up and then a fucking awesome release. I didn’t think she did fast, but bitch does fast.

Right now I’m dodging like The Matrix. Not slow-mo, I mean like what that shit’d be in real time. She’s throwing out her hand like a bullet over and over, aiming for my head and body, and I’m moving not even like a blur. I think if you were looking, it’d be like you couldn’t see me at all.

She swings a kick under me, I jump.

She pushes with another punch and I move in midair. I still can’t fly, so... the fuck?

I’m like swimming past her. She stomps once.

Lights fill the air.

I shoot myself down-back, she stomps toward me again and I realize that all the shops nearby are falling down.

Hoshiguma Yuugi cocks her hand back again, lifts up her knee high.

She stomps and she [/b]beats[/b] the earth, and her gourd splashes sake onto her shirt but she doesn’t notice. I don’t blame her: after her famous “Knock Out in Three Steps”, the streets just got nuked.

After blinding light and a womanmade earthquake, there’s nothing left but the people who were here and watching. Yuugi bombarded the place with her powers, and I think most of that was just the regular strength of her blows. I would’ve thought Hell itself would’ve caved in from that, to be honest.

And as for me, I’m standing still in front of her, and still being honest: I do not know how I didn’t get hit in any of that. I look over my shoulder. Was it these? There’re three separate golden flames floating behind me and struggling to maintain. They all die out, and I see Yuugi standing back to her full height out the corner of my eye. She’s grinning again.

She holds up her sake dish over her head to her full arm’s length and holds her left hand out beside her. Above her palm, her fingers going rigid, it looks like the space there is actually cracking. I do not want to see what that means.

“W-Wai...!” I sputter, and she continues, “Sake—eh, y-your sake... spilled... your shirt, there! Y’spilled yer sake on yer shirt!” I’m desperate. I drop her skirt off of me to point at what I mean. This is it!

Her power cuts and her whole demeanor dies down instantly. It legit makes me hesitate. She looks at where I’m pointing.

“Wha, really?” she asks, looking. I leap at her, I step on her hard stomach and try to stand off of it, I start to bring my hand up, my face falls in her breasts, I look at my hand, she looks at me in her tits, I see golden fire dancing off my fingers, I take another step to climb her, I bring my head out from her chest.

And then my hand’s ablaze.

It shoots up before she can do anything about it.

I push to tip the dish in her hand, and it spills all over her head, down her shirt, and all over me.


I can feel my left arm again. Actually, I can move it. The sake that spilled over me is too strong. It’s making me dizzy. These tits... Oh my god.

“I did it,” I say, Yuugi not lookin’ like she knows how to process this. “I fuckin’ did it,” I say, and I put both my hands on her breasts, stating, “now gimme these.”

Yuugi is still looking completely out of it while I squeeze ‘em. Waaaoooohh... they’re so big...! They’re soft!

“You... did you trick me?”

“I didn’t lie,” I tell her, still focused on these amazing things, “Said spilled yer sake, yer sake spilled. Look,” I look downward in the direction of her gourd while also pushing my face more into her bosom. Yuugi looks.

“... Ahaa...” she says, still ignoring me even while I’m checking the weight, lifting them over and over (verdict: melons). “Ahaha...” she starts laughing. Hm... can I get at her nipples...?

I get pulled away! Ah, no...!

“Ha ha ha ha haaa!” she roars. Yuugi holds me up in front of her by my hoodie, bringing me up so we can talk face to face but dude, put me back in the pillows!

“You’ve got crazy guts! What’d you do all that for?”

“I gotta do a mircackle!” I say, reaching for her chest and vainly struggling.

“A miracle, you say?” she confirms.


“Are you saying it’d be a miracle to get my sake to spill? Boy, I’m embarrassed! Thank you!”

This oni sure turned around.

She pulls my face really close to hers and I skin up mine with a real messed up frown.

“I’ve taken a liking to you!” Then, breasts...! “What’s your name!? I am Hoshiguma Yuugi, the strong!”

“Ask me again when I’m not drunk,” I tell her, then I request, “put me back in your boobs, pleash.”

“Hahahaha!” she laughs, and she puts her dish back where she’d first taken it, puts me in the crook of her right arm, and pulls me in to her body.

“Gwuh!” I make a noise as I’m crushed into her, but hey, my cheeks are in her valley again. I put my hands on them and squeeze a few times absently.

But really, I’m too comfortable here...

I’m gonna take a nap...

My consciousness starts to fade and I start to drool on her tits.

I nod off, and the last thing I see is the bottom half of her face.

Smiling warmly.


Not everything can have a choice.

See you tomorrow.
>> No. 16208
Rest in peace and boobs. Bastard lived as few men dare dream.
>> No. 16209
And then Yuugi fisted Jo'on.
>> No. 16210
spilled an onis sake, check.
survived fighting said oni to spill the sake, check.
got some of that sake, check.
passed out in a massive cleavage, check.

Mission success i would say.
>> No. 16211

She stomps and she beats the earth, and her gourd splashes sake onto her shirt but she doesn’t notice.
>> No. 16212
File 154163992016.gif - (1.75MB , 400x472 , Joon vs Yuugi.gif ) [iqdb]
>> No. 16213
File 154164237041.jpg - (600.27KB , 800x1200 , e4f.jpg ) [iqdb]
>> No. 16214
I got a good laugh out of that.
>> No. 16216
File 154168957888.jpg - (950.29KB , 1214x1720 , r e s p e c t.jpg ) [iqdb]
I wake up in some sorta bed, one that’s nice and warm. I feel pretty awful, though...

Looking toward where the sky would be, I see Hoshiguma Yuugi looking into my face with a plain smile. What.

Wait this isn’t a bed, this is her lap. Huh. Oh! She’s wearing her skirt again.

And man, I’m not that small but damn, she’s a big girl, eh? I pick myself up by lifting off of her left thigh.

“You can move?” she asks in a happy voice.

“Hrn,” is my grunt of a response. “Take me to the Ibuki District,” I tell her, putting my free hand on my head. I look down at my clothes. It’s like this thing got lost in a storm—it’s fuckin’ shameful...

“Suika’s amazing, but there’s no district named after her clan. You mean the Quarter?”

“Whatever,” I speak through grit teeth. I need medical help. She keeps talking.

“Tell me your name first,” she says. Wait, where are we right now?

“Uh, Joon. Yorigami Joon,” I say after lifting my head up to check this place out. We’re “outside”, I guess, in the cave parts of Hell, not any buildings. Yuugi took a seat on a bench.

“Well, you seem like you’ve had enough waiting. Sorry, sorry,” she apologizes, and tosses me over her shoulder.

“Ugh!” My stomach...

She stands up and starts walking. Man... I’m in a bad mood but she really is cool. What a girl.

... Alright, Ouzu. Get ready to get enraptured.


[ ♫: http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=_3O18GC4Mwo ]
[Keyboards & Synths - Keyboards & Synths (Tesla Boy)]

I told him what I did. I told him near all of it.

The miracle I performed, but not the way I managed to perform it.

He believes the story, but... now no one’s saying anything, uhh...

... Nice place.

Looks like Ouzu’s a jade collector. There are jade figures, weapons, urns and weird art pieces all over his mansion. Jade’s kinda dull. The gold stuff he’s got here and there—that’s rockin’.

Anyway I feel like super scum. I was thinking I might wander into rich neighborhoods on my own maybe, but while I’ve been at this kinda low point in my physical and wallet well-being before (lower, really) I ain’t never been in a place that looks like an old goddamn palace... at least not one that still had folks living in it. It’s like someone left a trash bag in the middle of a museum. The trash bag’s me, duh.

I’m sitting on my knees in a throne room or something. Ouzu’s strange-shaped body is seated on a red cushion, and he’s looking between me and Yuugi pretty slow. He let us in and stared a long while at Yuugi (who waved at him like a joyful kid) at the door. Well. That is his queen. One of ‘em.

“Sovereign—” he speaks up all of a sudden, breaking the smelly silence I’m pretty sure I’m causing. I look up and see he’s looking at Yuugi.

“Hm? What?” she asks, cocking her head. She’s standing against the doorframe with her arms folded just kinda... watching us.

“It’s been a while. Can I get you anything?”

“Nah,” she says with a half-grin.

“Alright,” he says, and he turns those darks onto me. I sit up straight. “You look like she hit you,” he tells me.

“Never directly,” I say, smiling for some reason. He nods.

“You have the spark of the golden flame after all,” he says, staring real hard at me.


“My eyes can tell me useless things... potentials,” he explains, ‘cause my face musta told him what I was thinking. “Everything and everyone has potential.”

“Maaaan, you’re still like that, Ouzecchi?” Yuugi addresses him from behind me. “Every time with you, you’ve always been a baby about everything. Potential’s awesome, you idiot!” I toss a look over at her, she shrugs and shakes her head. “Every time I remember about you and ask after you, I’m surprised you haven’t just gone and died yet.”

I wince.

Oof, ouch, ruthless, Yuugi...

Ouzu just apologizes. “Sorry,” he says truthfully. “I still want to live for a while longer.”

“Uh huh,” she says, fiddling with something in her nose and not paying him any attention anymore. The sad sack in front of me starts laying it on thick. I look back his way and see he’s slouching more and frowning. You’re gonna make me depressed...

“Yuugi,” I address the queen, who I can feel perking up in anticipation, “could you leave us alone? I have to work on this guy.”

“Work on him?” she asks.

“We’ll talk after, ‘kay?” I don’t look at her.

After a few seconds I hear the door close. Just like they say, an oni who likes you is gonna like you too much. Not... that I should push my luck.

Anyway time to make myself like that for another one of them.

“Mist... Ouzu, is it alright if I walk toward you?” I ask. I mean, I’ve got blood on my shirt, sake over that, just general filth of an unwashed body, no pants on... like, I’m surprised there ain’t flies buzzin’ around me.

“Please...” he begs... Alright.

I stand up.

I don’t usually do this. I’m pitying him a bit. Probably just a matter of perspective, since I’m usually in a way better place bodily and financially when I stick to people for cash. I’m just soft right now or somethin’. Ouzu holds his hand out to me and I take it. I start to fill him with hope just like that. While I do, I notice something flickering near my shoulder, take a look, and see a little gold flame behind me. Once I see it, it disappears. Huh.

I look at Ouzu, stopping the flow of energy between us. “Ouzu, you are my first believer,” I lie, “so I will tell you the truth.” I won’t.

“In order to find my sister again, I intend to take as much of the Former Capital under my wing as I can,” I explain, leaving out my desire for money on the way. “If that means I have to get demonic, I will.”

Ouzu says nothing.

“Then... are you willing to follow me into a different hell if we have to go there? Look at me,” I order him, since he was looking down at my hands. “What potential do you see in this goddess?”

He looks into my face, and his contorts with worry. “... You—” he starts, and he stops.

I pick up for him. “I am Yorigami Joon, pestilence god. I can want for happiness all I like, but misery follows this faith, be it our misery, or... So, if you understand that...” I take a step back, letting his hand go “... then let’s start. Take my hand on your own and follow me. I swear I’ll do it. I’ll change how the Underworld runs, and our family will be strong, close, and impossible to break. Come, Ouzu,” I bid him again, my hand open in front of him very casually, “worship me.”

He lifts his huge hand, reaching tentatively toward my small one, and I think he’s going to hesitate but he lets it fall on mine out of nowhere, on purpose. I waste no time and squeeze his palm. When I do, those flames of mine rush up again and start to flow and fly over us. Maaan, this’s so formal, I usually do this without consent, and there’s never any fire...

“Ouzu, take this blessing,” I say, smiling a little darkly. I present to him a smooth, small, white stone in my other hand.

I picked it up when we were waiting outside for him.

“This is a manifestation of the hope I give,” I tell him, and I did imbue some hope in it, “please cherish it,” I insist.

“Of course, Lady Yorigami,” he says. In the time it took to get him to say that, looks like a bunch of my wounds healed up. This guy is really feeling me.

Like I thought, I pick the best marks.

So... what to do with you? What do I want, and what can I have this influential, loaded, desperate oni provide...?

... Maybe I should be careful not to split his energy and resources between too many things. I want more, but less between more is like... y’know?

Anyway... first:

[] Money.

[] Followers.

[] Faith.

[] All of the above.

[] Don’t ask for anything right now.

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/09(Fri)12:00

image source: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2954163

You can vote for several things like money, followers, AND faith. If you just pick one then I’ll take that to mean you wish for a sole-focus. If you pick two, two things. And so on!
>> No. 16217
[x] Faith.

Seek strength, the rest will follow.
>> No. 16218
[x] Faith.

we need to be STRONK
>> No. 16219
[x] Followers.
[x] Faith.

Need to build a solid base before raking in the profit.
>> No. 16220
[x] Faith.
>> No. 16221
File 154170012193.webm - (1.61MB , 720x404 , joon vs yuugi.webm ) [iqdb]
[x] Faith.

>> No. 16223
[x] Money.
L O D S of E M O N E

wossat spell?

oh, and

[x] Followers.

If there's followers then faith might follow???
>> No. 16224
[x] Faith.

Don't you want to turn your lies into truths?
>> No. 16225
[x] Followers.
[x] Faith.

Get some faith to better sell our services and followers to keep the faith coming. Then use that to get the money.
>> No. 16226
File 154177296613.png - (483.63KB , 1600x804 , the strong.png ) [iqdb]
image source: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1958909

Highly accurate.


[ ♫: http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=GVY9Co6yov4 ]
[Fantasy - The Universe Made of Darkness (Tesla Boy)]

[XXXXXXX] Faith.
[XXX] Followers.
[X] Money.


“... Hey, did I like... squeeze your breasts after I tipped your dish over?”

“Hm? Yeah.”

Fuck! This is why I don’t drink!

“Sorry about that,” I tell Yuugi, who’s walking ahead of me. She waves off my apology.

“They’re just breasts,” she says.

I guess it’s not “just” your bush, then, I think to myself, looking aside.

We left Ouzu’s place and we’re walking some pretty empty streets now, between districts. I decided, since Ouzu seems especially into “wanting”, he’ll do best right now providing me with faith. I told him to pray to me “whenever worry entered [his] heart”. This guy alone’s already got me all healed up. That said I told him to tell other people about me whenever he thought’d be best.

And I got a little donation.

I’m counting it right now, over and over, just in case I’m missing something about it. I only talked to Yuugi ‘cause I suddenly remembered how her boobs feel when I was kinda absently pressing my palm with my fingers. The springiness, ya know.

“So what was that deal with Ouzecchi about?” she asks me now that I’ve talked to her. Well, not that I find it annoying or anything. If anything, I’m happy she hasn’t gotten fed up with me yet.

“I’ll be honest,” I tell her, “I was lying to him. I’m basically just a thief. Thieve money, thieve faith. Whatever works...”

“Wha—Really!?” she exclaims.

“Yeah so feel free to ditch your interest in me.” Alright, money seems good. I look up at her, looking at me. Girl’s got a face saying that really came as a shock, but... “I mean it. Someone like you shouldn’t be messing with someone like me, not unless you’re just worried about how many lives I’ll ruin on my own without someone like you stepping on me and wiping my pulp off the geta.”

“... So... you... You really are just a pestilence god... through and through,” she mutters that, and she’s stopped walking, started quietly glaring.

“Yeah,” I tell her, passing her by, “I may be a fuckin’ badass, but I’m also real nasty. Don’t bother, ‘kay?”

She not following me...? Good.

I throw a lazy wave over my shoulder, shoving the cash into my pockets (which really deserve a prize for holding out through everything I put ‘em through). “Thanks for being there,” I inform her, and I continue on. I hope she doesn’t follow me. It doesn’t sit right, and it’s risky for me to get too famous too fast. Should be only a few will recognize me from that chaos going for the dish, at least.

A hand falls on my shoulder.

“What, you got something to sa...” I turn thinking I’ll see Yuugi. It ain’t Yuugi. Feet, light a fire.

... But it’s too late. A big red bruiser yanks me into a blind alley and the back of my head feels like it explodes. I’m gonna fall, but a punch catches me in the gut before I can. I throw up chocolate and grip my abdomen, standing on wobbling legs. I take a few shaking steps then someone kicks me down off my back. I fall and see money in the air, three pairs of legs, and one pair of familiar black and red-cloud socks.

Oh no... I think, and I groan, they’re some of the guys I ditched when I first came here.

Blacksocks takes a few steps around, and I see his jeweled, pierced, and bangled hand reach around for the money that came from my pockets.

“Pick her up,” I hear, and I growl while someone drags me up using my hair. A hand gets on my throat, and before I can say anything I’m slammed into a wall. It craters, bits of stone and plaster falling over me. I struggle... or more like, I want to struggle and mostly just try to lift my arms. That blow to my head is fucking over everything. Through spots, I see the young-looking oni with the black and red socks. He gathers up the rest of the cash, counts it, twice, then puts it into his chest pocket. He’s wearing some kinda longcoat. Expressionless, he walks toward me, shooing away whoever is holding me. I drop, taking a breath, and he catches me by my hair.

“St... tha...”

I can’t talk.

“You remember me, right?” he asks. He looks right in my eyes. Purple, cut with sky blue just a little bit, like in shards. His hair is short and scrappy. His horn is like Yuugi’s, just black, no star on it. “A god who just steals and skips out on a fair deal... what the fuck,” he complains, sneering just a little, little bit. “You know,” he says, “oni don’t like doing this sort of thing. I mean, setting up a trap? But when you want to catch rats, you don’t chase them.”

He drops me. I fall on my knees and suck my teeth. I think if I was human, that woulda broken something. The ground here’s all stone after all. I shift, pick myself up.

“That said, I caught you,” he says, “Let’s fight this out. You dishonored me.” He stands with a stable stance, his hands in his coat pockets. “I’m gonna beat the shit out of you.”

“Oh...” I say, standing up. He’s no Yuugi, but since he caught me by surprise pretty much everything hurts worse. I hate that.

... Anyway, I’m already getting better. Let’s get out of here. I wanna bounce—hear that, fire? Rush on left toward the alley exit—

“GH—! MMFH!?”

It feels like I just slammed the left side of my face into a wall. My neck sprains, and I look to my right. There, I see Blacksocks looking at his right hand, and my face in it. He squeezes me.

“So they were right, you’ve got that golden fire,” he says. “Well, whatever.” He tugs me back and shoulder checks me back into the wall. “Tighten up your stomach muscles,” he says, looking down.

I try to, he pounds me there, causing a little whirlwind and damaging the wall at my back even more. I feel it in my spine and brain. Just like that it feels like I got liquefied. He punches me again, and again, and again. And again, and again. He waits a second, glancing at my dead-looking face. He mashes my core with his knuckles one last time. I dunno how I’m still conscious. My whole body is quivering with thumping, gross, sickening pain. He finally lets me go, and when I fall onto the floor he waits again, drags his right foot back, and punts me in my cheek. I can’t move.

He leaves with his crew, saying nothing else.

We were supposed to work together to cheat some races. He’s like... one of those weir...

... weird oni. I can’t think straight.


I don’t think I’ve ever gotten beaten like that before. It’s kinda scary how eye-opening it is.

Ow. Ahh... I’m... am I gonna die?

... No...

I don’t want to...

... I can’t...

... but I can’t move...

Ouzu needs to pray to me, or—

The ground shakes, the rattle of an oni’s shackles hits my ears.

“H... H... H...” I try to speak. “H... H... He... Hel... H-H...”

I’m crying. There’s a warm puddle on my legs.


I beg.

“Please?” says the voice of a strong woman.


“But you won’t change.”

She steps closer, standing before me for a second before plucking me up by my hoodie. She walks to where behind me was, and keeps walking. From where I’m looking, I see that the wall completely broke. This looks like a warehouse or a garage or...

... Ah, ah, my belly... my belly’s...

Yuugi tosses me inside, and when she does I fall in a way that I can look at her—on my stomach, face on the floor, one arm outstretched. She’s lookin’ like a shadow against the light of the broken wall.

“Why didn’t you fight?”

She asks.

Fight? What?

“You can’t survive down here on your wits, Joon. You have to be honest, and you have to be strong. More than anything, you have to fight.”



I can’t.

“Stand up.”

I can’t.

“You think you can’t do anything?”

I can’t.

“Make a fist.”

[ ♫: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsL3NOuZ0As ]
[Richard - Hotline Miami 2 (Dubmood)]


Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/10(Sat)12:00

>> No. 16227
[x]Clench those teeth, Yuugi!

Title drop edition.
>> No. 16228
[x] Circle Game
>> No. 16229
[X] Make a fist

You literally have nothing to lose. This is rock bottom.
>> No. 16230
[X] stand up
>> No. 16231
File 154186331253.gif - (281.97KB , 400x396 , _.gif ) [iqdb]



[ ♫: https://youtu.be/6JapDyUwAu8?t=8 ]
[I'm Back (to Rise) - Killer Instinct: Season 2 (Mick Gordon (feat. Omega Sparx))]


I’ll do that. I’ll pull my fingers through concrete if I have to.

Show my knuckles: defiance, pride, confidence, power.

Might, refusal, fight, spirit.

Will. Strength. Backbone. Godliness.

Wealth. Greed. Drive. Arrogance.

Wasn’t I born for greatness?

I do it. I clench my fist, scooping up dust and pressing my nails into the heel of my palm, cutting through the skin, my blood flowing.

Ice and water feel like they’re rushing through me, setting my insides all right, getting my breath out. I can feel it coming. I put my everything into my grip, my arm is pumping, feels like my back’s breaking with lightning. Spirit spirals around me, and a wind picks up. I look up at my convulsing hand.

And it ignites.

That’s right.

What’s this soft shit?

I never said I’d stop at the bottom. I deserve gold.

A shining inferno blows out around me, burning the air, flying like a tornado, completely relentless.

But it’s not hot.

It’s not anything. Not anything new.

It’s me.

I open my hand up, my wounds searing closed, pushing myself from the ground, opening my other hand to help. The fires are coating me, cleansing everything on me. Dirt, impurity, filth, and anything soiled gets burned away in the surge. Stains are purged, and I’m flowing with a fragrance like I’m out a field of flowers, like I came out something pastoral. And inside, I feel more alive than I ever have before. I close my hand again. My jewels and gold rings bling.

I feel godly.

“Fuuuuu...” I exhale, now on my knees, both my hands closed. I look over myself. My body’s totally clean now, and the pain from before is slowly getting out of me. My hair’s floating up a little, and my shirt is rippling kinda gently. The fire is seriously intense, but where it’s strongest is right behind me. Three flames, there again, and just bursting now: billowing like crazy. “Heh...” I can’t help laughing.

I bring my left foot to ground, the earth shakes, and there’s a sound like a boulder just fell. I look over at Yuugi, and see that she just took off her gourd. It broke the floor.

She cracks her knuckles.

Rolls her neck.

And starts stepping toward me.

“...” I just look at her. What’s she thinking...?

“Well?” she says, letting her arms fall. She’s standing right in front of me... “Ain’t that how it should be?”

“You gonna fight me now?” I ask, grinning nervously.

She brings up her hand, and coaxes me with a gesture. She tells me simple, “Put ‘em up.”


How’s this?

I jump at her, throw a blazing hand over her eyes, pull my right hand back...

... and clock her right across her jaw, gold fire shooting off the hit like falling leaves.

Yuugi takes it, her hand still up. She sneers with half her teeth, and gives me a look. I breathe out sharp, and stay in the air. Subtle, almost like nothing, I show her the same flick of my wrist that she showed me with hers. Let’s do this.

She pulls her head back, and I know what she wants to do. She throws her forehead, and the horn on it right at me.


it’s like I can see everything.

I grab the side of her face as it comes along, quickly pull my head up for an answer, and shoot it down on hers while it’s coming up, slipping just out the way of that spike. For a second, I look like a meteor. Energy flies off and cuts through the walls. Yuugi’s feet get planted in the ground, and her grin goes wider. She looks at my eyes, hers telling her excitement.

I still don’t totally know what’s going on.

But she better not be thinking I’m gonna lose this.

She takes a breath, she wants to yell again?

I push off of her using her shoulders and jet back. Looks like I can fly now, I swing my right foot towards her face, shoot forward, and shut her mouth with it.

Her brows shoot up, and she laughs with my foot in her mouth. I bring back my left one, and kick up on her chin with it in a burning arc getting out of there before she can bite a part of me off. I flip backward and it feels totally normal. I land on one foot, and hop back on it in a few directions to clear out her way. When I do, I see how far my fire’s spread. The whole hangar is colored gold, flickering, dazzling. I thumb my sunglasses out of my collar, twirl ‘em around my pointer finger before I flick out the arms and throw the big-circle shades over my face.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

I’m the fucking best.

Yuugi laughs like crazy. “That’s it!” she shouts. “That’s what I took to!”

“Can’t blame you,” I say, opening my palms in front of my shoulders to show her who it is, “I can even make rags look good.”

“Ahahahahaha!!” she roars. I grin at that.

I’d look better in gems, though, I think.

How about we make the first order of business once I’m back in business decking this bitch out? I feel like burning money.

Yuugi finishes laughing.

She pulls back her arm and lifts her leg like she’s gonna throw a pitch instead of a punch. When she does, she looks at me from under her other arm and there’s a glint in her eye. It resonates with me, right in my soul.

My flames glow a little brighter.


I dash over to her in bursts. I crouch low and skid to a stop in front of her. I pull back the same arm, breathing out all the air in my lungs. I meet her eyes.

And I make a fist.

The force blasts down the walls. They just blow off. The ceiling starts to fall in slow motion.

In respect, in revelry, in new rivalry—

—we meet knuckles.

My flames whip around in a storm. Her veins crawl up her forearm. I take a look at her face, and see that we’re both smirking with teeth.

We bump our hands together.

And start fighting.

I throw out jabs at her faster than I ever thought I could, pummeling her abdomen to no sell. She meanwhile jabs right back with a miss—miss—miss! The air after her punches puts dents in the floor. I keep juking and delivering hooks and crosses and counters, but I can tell that I’m definitely sloppy about it compared to her. She’s letting me do this, letting me go wild. Like she’s answering that thought, she suddenly stops me by pressing her thumb on my forehead. It slips me right off my feet, and while I’m gonna fall on my ass she jabs at my stomach.

And I catch her at her forearm with both hands, still shaking from what little of the hit made it though. From here, I see how close the ceiling is to coming down on us. I swirl around Yuugi’s arm until I can stand can stand on, it point my elbow at her chest, and launch myself at her like that, knocking her onto another foot. I think she thinks it’s done, but I hid my right hand filling with power behind me. I slam it into her side, and she moves a little again.



Another... fuckin’ clock...!

Rock her...

Rock her...!

With my left and right, I keep knocking her face in the opposite directions. She’s smiling with sheer glee while I do so, and when I can feel how imminent the roof is on the two of us, I push myself off from her chest and pull my hand back again... Just build it... Build it...!


I throw my fist, right between her breasts. It stops. I push it. Halt. Push. Like I’m a sledgehammer. I fall forward, turning over when I do. Felt like a comet, hit like a fucking slug, sent Hoshiguma Yuugi off like she got fired out a railgun. Like I’m not exaggerating, there were shockwaves...

That was all so fuckin’ fast...

So this is the golden flame.

... Fucking awesome.

The roof explodes off of me, and I stand up. I’m out of fuckin’ control.

Yuugi is in someone’s house, getting off of their shelf.

“You ain’t done yet right!?” I yell with enthusiasm.

“This is your second time fighting an oni... You know I’m just getting started!”


We both jump up...

... and with our blood burning, we meet fierce in the sky of the Former Capital. Yeah.

I’m back.
>> No. 16232
File 154186337643.gif - (3.93MB , 900x720 , FEEL THE POWER BABY.gif ) [iqdb]

I don't think I could've picked a song more perfect for Joon.

image sources:


[] Lay low for a few days with Yuugi, gathering faith, letting Ouzu do his thing.

[] Fight. Fight for money.

[] Start conning again, ‘cause fuck it; who’ll stop you?

Time remaining: :: Timer ended at: 2018/11/11(Sun)12:00

>> No. 16233
[x] Fight. Fight for money.

>> No. 16234
[x] Fight. Fight for money.
>> No. 16235
[x] Lay low for a few days with Yuugi, gathering faith, letting Ouzu do his thing.
>> No. 16236
[x] Fight. Fight for money.

Wads out for the ladies.
>> No. 16237
[x] Fight. Fight for money.

>> No. 16238
[X] Fight. Fight for money.

Real. Idol. Suffering.
>> No. 16239
[X] Fight. Fight for money.

>> No. 16240
You will have your update after however long it takes me.

Super fell asleep.
>> No. 16241
[x] Lay low for a few days with Yuugi, gathering faith, letting Ouzu do his thing.

Faith should be our priority. Well, bonding with Yuugi should-but this let us do both!
>> No. 16242
File 154198818194.png - (248.18KB , 983x875 , knock heads.png ) [iqdb]
image source: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=71610283


[X] Fight. Fight for money.


[ ♫: http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=tCnBrrnOefs ]
[D.A.N.C.E. - †[Cross] (Justice)]


what she told me went like this—

After she knocked me down for the win, she sat down at my back and we both just slept there, on a roof with broken tiles for the night (and past the day and afternoon, I think). When I woke up, she did too, and she asked me, “Wanna know about the golden flame?”

Of course I did.

The long and short of is real simple, actually: a few—really, only a few—special gods and divine spirits can summon a part of themselves in the form of flames with a swathe of effects. It shows up in a lot of ways and a lot of colors: flames like tails, burning at your back, swirling one limb—violet ones, ultramarine ones, ones made up of all sorts like a rainbow. It’s rare, but if they’re out or noticeable it’s one of the more obvious ways to tell someone’s a god.

The golden ones?

“They’re some of the best,” Yuugi revealed to me, talking over her shoulder and mine. I put my pointer finger up under the right arm of my shades and pulled them up into my hair, so I could see her swollen face better. Feel impressed with myself. “You’ve already figured out a lot of what it can do on your own, right?”

She faced forward and clasped my left shoulder, almost pulling me down.

“Go and see what else you can do.”

And I thought, Sure I will.

Now I’m in a tavern, elbows on the bar; still dressed like a bum but smelling like a Celestial (which is the only reason I got through the door). I’m here looking for blood. Ol’ Yuugi wasn’t totally serious when we were punching each other, so it’s hard knowing what exactly I can handle. Since I don’t want to get too well known in the Underground before I’ve got some kinda hold on it, I don’t want to just jump into public challenges these oni are so into all over the place, or get into any pro boxing or anything. I just want street brawls. Drunks are good for that.

And if I play my cards right, I can get cash off it too.

I’m tapping my foot to the steady beat from the drum and flute players in the corner of the room, watching people and looking for a mark in the crowd. Got my sunglasses on, too, to hide my eyes. Look at the wrong oni the wrong way and you’ve got a big, bruising problem on your hands.

‘Course, it’s not just oni here... They’re the majority, the kings, but there are a shitload of weaker, still dangerous youkai all around this city. That said, I want an oni. These knuckles should only be dusting chins that can take it.

Tonight, that is. A pocket’s a pocket and a purse is a purse, and if I’ve got to punch someone in the mouth to get at that sometimes, then I’ve got no problems being the thug.


Most oni are jovial drunks, that and this concept of “strength” through “intoxication” are what make alcohol so popular among them. Though I say that, I’ve seen myself the other side to any happy oni is the rage that made the phrase “becoming an oni” equivalent to “flipping out like holy fuck”. I’m looking for anyone who looks easily agitated. Surprisingly, most oni ain’t—you’ve really gotta provoke them yourself to get a reaction. Once you’ve got it though, you’ve got it. Their attention, their passion.

And there’s one.

A tough, blue-skinned lady who’s showing a lot of skin is trying her best to not look mad as hell. Her horns, blending with her flesh, are small on her forehead, and the ones with smaller horns tend to feel like they’ve got something to prove. She even brought something in here: a giant club, studded all over that she’s got pressed to the floor, grinding it like she milling flour. Her face is happy, but her shoulders are up, and her grip on that kanabo is intense. She’s in a group, it looks like. A mix of youkai, here to unwind. I could speculate... Hm, I think I will.

With a finger under one of the arms, I pull my sunglasses arms and make my way to the friends, watching what she’s unsubtly watching: a male, olive-skin, four-horned demon with bulging muscles who’s not laughing with her, but with a cheerful female earth spider. Hm hm, alright.

I hop over to his left arm, his elbow out and hand on his hip. I gingerly put my fingertips on him, blink rapidly, and say, “Oh my God~! It’s my first time seeing an oni looking like this!”

His face starts shifting to a ruddy blush. “Eheheh!” he giggles, his voice drowned in alcohol, and his under-tooth showing smile lookin’ real goofy. “Oh, naw little goddess! Muscle doesn’t say much wi-with oni—what’s a god doing down here anyway?”

“I’m suuuper interested in oni!”

“Haha, really?” he asks, and it’s a little subtle but the floor shakes. I glance down and see a fissure, follow it to—the source: the end of a club. I briefly turn an eye to a pair of pale ones green with envy. Bingo. The earth spider this guy was talking with can’t seem to comprehend my existing. C’mon girl, I’m not even glitzing yet, don’t go getting dazzled.

I place my left hand on this guy’s upper arm, squeezing at his forearm with my right. I lean in close to him and, “Saaayy...” I breathe in an eager voice, “can you show me these better? I’m... really interested.” He seems to get what I’m getting at, but before he can stumble out a response the blue oni thrusts her club at my face. A flame is between my shoulder blades and I jerk my head back, just in time.

“Whoa... gold...” the male whispers as glittering fire crackles over my shoulders and starts creeping up my fingers. I smirk at the jealous girl.

“Watch where you swing that thing, there’s a crowd in here,” I tell her as I let the guy go. I show my palms, mocking. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to hit me.”

“A scrawny god like you...!” she growls, her free hand shaking and tight at her side. She roars at me, “GET OFF OF HIM!”

“‘Scrawny’?” I answer, killing my flames before anyone else can notice them. “I’m a god, you’re just an oni. I’m literally above you.” I aim my finger at her with moxie, pointing a little downward to make things clear.

She seems embarrassed. She brings her weapon back and holds onto the handle while fuming red, trembling. Her emotions... anticipation? Oh.

Now I feel kinda bad.

“I’ll beat you...! I can beat a harlot god down, yeah!” she tells herself. Ahh, ye~p. She thinks this is a chance: a chance to prove herself to him.

Sorry girl, but I’m not playing wingman tonight.

I snap my fingers over my head and yell, “Yoooo!! Anyone wanna see a fight!?”

A wave of bloodlust consumes the place in an instant. I get cheers and “hell yeah”s from the oni, while the other untouchables build up some cautious excitement.

“Then place your bets!” I shout, putting my hand over my chest, “I’m serious! Put your money on the table! Go and take a good look at me—take a good look at her! Who’s gonna win!?”

I hear a lot of muttering and chatter. Too much to sort out. I keep announcing, “Bartender! You collect! Personally I think my chances are great...” I say. Now to play the heel. I bring my hand down near my forehead, putting my fingers on it and drooping all but the thumb and middle one down. “Well, I only came down here to play with oni after all, so of course I’ll knock her out with one punch!”

That’ll do it.

Even if anyone saw and knows about my golden fire, enraging a room full of oni like this is gonna build solidarity. Every oni here will bet on the girl, out of loyalty. Dunno about the others, but let’s hope on groupthink. As everyone in the tavern rushes to the bar with their bets out, I toss my hair and smug at the cobalt woman, nodding upward just once.

Seeing that, she looks like she’s gonna explode. Next thing, she does.

Without a word or a roar, she thrusts right at me just like that, and I hop back out of the range casually. She swings, and I duck it while it slams another youkai in the back of their head. Hope he placed his bet...

I keep hopping playfully backward until we’re out on the street, the crowd following us. I keep an eye on the door, checking if everyone’s out yet and dodging while she gets more and more angry.

That’s it, I think, seeing the last person leave. I meet her eyes again, and close up my right hand, setting it ablaze. I offer her an apology in my smirk and brow, and tell her too, “Sorry about this.”

“Eh?” she utters while stabbing down at me again. I put my hand on one of the studs, shove it, and so rip it out of her hands, sending it flying in rotation and dropping an oni who was just minding her own business down the street. While the girl’s still confused, I flare up, looking like I’m wearing a cape of fire. I jump at her, and—


I crack her jaw, seeing her eyes go white after the CRIK and BAM of my rings against her face. Her spit flies out, and she falls down on her knees, lights out. I watch her crumple in midair, then settle back down to the road, looking at and flexing my fingers. I don’t feel good about that one. If she’d just been jealous, that would’ve been better.

Too bad. Your dreams just got crushed for my gain.

In the throng, the olive boy from before looks completely stunned, though at the same time a gleam in his eyes says he knew this would happen. Right, he did notice didn’t he? The rest of the crowd is a mix of reactions, but all surprised variants at any rate. Not everyone is happy with that.

On my way back, I bend a bit to slap her once across the face, building infamy. I part the agitated crowd like an aristocrat and damn it feels great to do it. With that, I march straight to the perplexed, unprepared, and darkly purple bartender: a cute girl with a long, sharp, obsidian pair coming straight up from her forehead. Her bar has two huge piles of cash and coins on it, and a little blackboard with chalk between them. She’s quickly flicking at an abacus while looking at each thing, and she’s totally flustered—she doesn’t notice me. I put my hand on the counter and reach over to pull the calculator out of her hand, doing what she was just doing except faster, smooth. When I’m done I drop the beaded instrument heavy on her bar and throw my grasp into one of the money piles, pulling out however much I figured I’m owed for the win. While I’m counting, the bartender (who seriously looks young, like a teenager now that I’m glancing) just seems super confused.

“This is the truth,” I tell her simply, shoving the grip of cash I’ve got into her face and putting my other hand on my hip, “and that’s what I tell. Just like I said I’d knock her out in a hit. You oni believe fists, right?”

While I think again what my calculations were, I start dividing the winnings based on the logged bets, my price clenched in my left hand while my right zooms through everything in front of me. Girl may not be much of an accountant, but looks like she sure can write fast. While I’m sorting it all out, I hear the crowds finally coming back in.

“Hey! The hell are you up to!? Just setting up a fake fight like that to get a quick buck!?” someone growls at me.

“‘Fake’, nah,” I answer, not bothering to look back. “Do you want to find out? You can place bets too.” Now I throw a challenging glance and grin. “I didn’t even break a sweat. Come on, set ‘em up and I’ll knock ‘em down.”

That pisses everyone off. Oni sure are easy...

I shove the cash into my sweater pocket, and turn to face them.

Yep. It’s gonna be a good night.


Wanted a choice this update, but I guess I'll wait until the next one later tonight (tonight my time)
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