The echo carries far in the corridors of Komeji mansion, forever enclosed in a shell of rocks, buried deep underground. At times, you would hear our own steps resonate within the stale, hot air, at times, you would hear the remnants of someone else's hurried pace. They say on a rare occasion, it might be possible to hear the echo of a stroll that someone took days, months or even years ago. Fairy tales, meant only to scare those that find enough courage to venture into the outer rings of the Underworld, and eventually encounter an enormous masonry house, situated on a shelf of stone, over a pool of everburning, always molten lava. Cuts the costs of heating up the place, that's for sure. Misfortune has it the only echo I hear is that of a curious pair of legs following mine, whereas the latter hurry to the far wing of the mansion, to see it's master, while the former... "Miss Satori likes sitting in the library. I think the smell of paper is nice to her." As curious as her steps, the girl following me states with undisturbed enthusiasm - it doesn't seem to bother her I care not about miss Satori's peculiar habits. The airhead in question is a tall girl, always dressed in a set of a shirt and skirt, both coloured white and green, as if to contrast with her long, slick hair that's black like tar. Reiuji Utsuho - or at least that was how she introduced herself - follows close behind, for no particular reason. "Do you like fires? I like fires. Miss Satori doesn't like fire, but she lives over a pool of lava, that's funny, don't you think?" Frankly, I don't - the girl proved herself to be extremely dangerous upon my arrival here, only a quick intervention from the mind-reading mistress saving me from winding up as crispy roasted meat. Yet it seems that having almost burned a human alive doesn't bother her a slightest bit in happily chit-chatting with the same one a few hours later. Truth be told, I'm less than happy about her following me - the constant danger and possibility of her flipping out and repeating the assault from before slowly drives me more and more crazy. As if I wasn't crazy enough to set off a journey around the Underworld! Perhaps she would listen if I told her to go away and leave me alone? Always worth a try. "Utsuho," with her name on my trembling lips, I stop in my tracks and turn around to face the nosy girl "Would you--" Be so kind to leave me alone while I go and clear some issues with your master? - is what I wanted to say, but having her stop mere - and literal - centimeters away, eyes fixated in mine, in that neverending wave of innocent, yet ominous curiosity, words are promptly erased from both my lips and brain. Frozen in place, I can only observe as she sniffs at my collar, like some sort of animal. "You smell weird." That does it - I quickly step back and retreat under the nearest wall, my back hitting one of the many doors in this corridor. But there's no escape, I can only pant in fear as she calmly walks up to me, and stops, yet again, inches from my throat. Sniff, she inhales the air moist with my sweat through her nostrils, almost like if she was smelling a new kind of food. Which she probably is. "Really weird." she squints her eyes "Like miss Satori, sometimes when she locks herself in her room." I don't want to hear that! Quickly, where's the knob, the knob, the knob--! There it is! Pull it! Push it, turn it, whatever, just let me get away--!
And I do. Get away from the monster, that is. In a rather flashy and hasty fashion - the door surrenders before my weight, and I helplessly fall into the room, landing on my sorry butt. But it's not enough. The girl follows me inside, and closes the door behind her, an expression of seriousness painted all over her face. That's it. I'm going to die. I knew this trip wouldn't end well, my friends even warned me, but...! Oh god, I don't want to die, I don't want to die! Completely paralyzed, my body doesn't move an inch when the girl squats between my spread legs, and leans forward, supporting herself with her arms. Again, she takes a brief smell of my sweaty neck. I close my eyes... ... but never feel her teeth pierce the skin. Instead, she seems - or rather, feels - to be sliding down my body, the tips of her breasts brushing against the surface of my chest and stomach. Just what... Imagine my shock when having raised one eyelid, I discover her meddling around with the zipper of my pants. I would jerk up, and scream, but my throat is so swollen I can barely breathe. "Ah." she gasps when the thing finally surrenders "I saw Rin doing this once..." Unbelievable, that at a time like this, my body's just acting on it's own. Underwear is not a problem for Utsuho's nimble fingers, as she easily yanks out my throbbing junior from it's cover, and firmly wraps her fingers around the base. Now I do jerk up, although unvoluntarily. "What are you--" "Don't worry." she cuts in "I'm not an idiot." This isn't what I'm worried about! It's something completely different, you idiot! Why did you follow me here, why did you smell me, why did you push me into this room, why did you close the door, why did you get me on the ground, why did you pull out that thing?! No, no, no, most of all, why am I so excited at a time like this?! I want home, mommy, I'm gonna cry any minute now, I swear! "Hmm." my assailant mumbles, her soft, warm breath brushing against the most sensitive part of my body "If I remember correctly." Despite all the odds, and my terrified looks, she does it - stick out her tongue and slide it across the ridiculously rebellious member of mine, from the base to the very tip. Against my will, a surge of feelings enters my brain, beginning a fierce and bloody fight with the fear. "Just like a lolipop... But less tasty." she does it again, this time adding an additional lick on the glans. I shiver. In both fright and excitement. "Mhm..." "Utsuho..." I try to speak, but my voice is as weak as my willpower. I can feel it slowly drain when she slides her tongue around the tip, sending shivers down my spine. Pleasant shivers. So, instead of that, I let a hand of mine land on her head. The hair feels nice under my fingertips. "Do you want more?" she ceases the act for a second, and looks up at my - I'm sure - red face. Then nods. "Okay." No use hiding it - I jump up and squeal like a girl when she takes my throbbing member into her mouth. The warmth of flesh and saliva mingling around the foreskin almost makes me come instantly. But I endure. Utsuho's tongue somehow manages to find it's way onto the top of the meaty invader, and begins to twirl around. Muffles moans escape the throat of the girl, whose oral cavity is too full to let them out. I moan too, and am so ashamed my head feels like it's going to burst. "Ahh... Nnnh..." I can't tell whether those are mine or hers, but one thing's for sure - we both enjoy it. I don't know which one does more. I can feel the limit near dangerously fast, when she touches the opening of the urethra with the very tip of her tongue. No, in fact, the limit is right here. Grasping her head like a ball, I push it down, forcing it to take in all that shoots out of my body. She chokes, tries to break away, but I've lost control over my actions. Only after the painfully pleasant throbbing stops do I let go of it, and let her sit up. Jizz is dribbling out her mouth, but she quickly wipes it off with her hand. "Not... as tasty as I thought it would be."
Finally, there we are, in front of the door to the library - where I should have found myself fifteen minutes ago. The unexpected... interruption is still fresh in my mind, driving me insane. But if I'm to encounter Satori, it will have to be taken care of. She can only read the most distinct thoughts, unless she does a deep scan of one's mind. In which case, I'm screwed anyway, but I can at least postpone the inevitable. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I almost forgot about it. That's right. Think about something else. Alright. With a troubled smile on my face, I push the door and walk inside. What greets me is the - I think - largest library I've ever seen in my life. Walls of shelves, all full of books of various sizes and colours. A vertical sea of knowledge. And among them all, a lone table, at which sits the one I came to visit. Satori Komeji, sipping on a cup of tea. Hearing someone enter, she turns to face the intruders, all three of her eyes sweeping the surroundings, and finally land at me. "H-hello..." I give her a wave "Thank you for earlier..." "Mhm..." without answering my greeting, she takes another mouthful of the tea, and watches me in silence... "Hm?" "Miss Satori!" But it doesn't take long for Utsuho to butt in. The moment she pops up from behind my back... "PFT!" Satori spits her tea all over the floor, her face quickly growing red from embarrassment. Wait, how-- I didn't think about-- So how--?! All is revealed when I glance at the idiot's face. Her beaming smile leaves nothing to imagination. "Utsuho?! Y-you?!" Satori points a finger at us "W-w-w-why?!" "Hm?" Utsuho cocks her head to the side a little, looking completely confused "What is it?" Satori's face gets even redder. She's on the verge of boiling. "W-w-w-what on earth did you d-d-do?!" "Hm? What are you talking about, miss Satori." "A-a-aaa!"
I palm my face. What a great way to start my stay at the mansion.
Continuation, huh... I actually wanted an /underground/ pack of routes for TSR (in /shrine/), but the idea was successfully averted. So, for an /underground/ route, I'd need to start a new story. And I'm not particularly feeling like doing so now.
>>75024 I can write nonarrogant, nonmelodramatic protagonists, contrary to what some of you would say, I just don't want to. My natural arrogance cringes at any attempt to make the character I write a wimp, or a stuttering idiot.
>>75028 Might do some more side-scenes, should I get any good ideas.
Oh, and for those of you unaware of the fact - I am ragecorp. And always was.
I'm not as concerned about "this goes here" as I am about size. /outside/ would only have Renko and Maribel, possibly Youki, and /hakugyokurou/ would only have Yuyuko and Youmu, possibly Youki again. Mayohiga would at least have three characters, but still wouldn't be enough. Compare this to /underground/ which would have a well sized cast. Same goes for /youkai/, since Youkai Mountain already has a big enough cast.
tl;dr Boards for multiple stories about nothing but Renko & Mary or Yuyuko & Youmu would really boring and pointless, while /border/ works just fine for those stories.
Over time, most people seem to have forgotten the most important factor of a good CYOA - a good CYOA. And by CYOA, I am not referring to H-scenes, over the top narration, insane gibberish that makes no sense until you drive an elephant over it and take a photo with your dick whipped out, or any other irrelevant nonsense I don't give a submarining FUCK about. I mean the actual part where you CHOOSE stuff, discuss it with other people, and where your brain generates FUN. If I wanted porn, I'd play a H-game. There's already a million of them out there, we don't need another writer descend into that pit of steaming dog shit. If a CYOA composed of only porn sounds fun to you, I suggest you navigate your browser to the nearest porn site, and start downloading something called a porn movie. Perhaps I'm exaggerating, but I remember a time when most CYOAs were about following the spur of the moment, and weren't a thousand words long epopeia full of grim and dark. They weren't about figuring shit out and solving relationship puzzles, they weren't about living in a house full of maniacal, suicidal bombers, they were about FUN and feeling PROUD of your ACCOMPLISHMENTS. Now everyone wants to be a writer and does his best to not suck at writing a good story - and fails. 'B-but now that I've seen a good story in a CYOA, I don't want those simple times to return! I want backstory, plot, motivation for my character!'. Would you really need a backstory to set the Hakurei shrine on fire, you twat? How about fooling around with Cirno? Playing with Rumia? If the process of choosing the development of the story isn't fun for you, maybe you shouldn't read CYOAs! Of course, I appreciate being able to slowly unfold a compelling story to my readers, but at least I proceed even if the votes are low in numbers. There's an overwhelming amount of newbie writers, who start and drop their CYOAs simply because they're not satisfied with the response. Instead of pursuing the fast development and progressing, we have an endless eternity to wait until people decide whether to shoot Remilia's or the protagonist's face, which is basically a low-quality, B-class, poor movie experience without images and sounds. Congratulations, writers, you've effectively raised an army of paranoid, overconfident, overanalyzing consumer-whore zombies, who conveniently not only lack the sense of entertainment standard, but also opposable thumbs.
If you get too specific, you'll end up with a lot of boards and barely enough activity to spread across them. I don't see anything wrong with what there is now.
Though I do think there should be a board for 'creative writing', so that threads like this don't have to be lost amongst CYOAs and picture threads. I'm sure that SOME writers(not mentioning any names here) would enjoy writing unrestricted and yet still having their work doted upon without impatiently waiting for votes to decide the outcome of the next chapter. From some of the comments that I've read, I can safely say that many an anon finds these indubitably refreshing, and have often asked for moar, as do I. At the same time, it allows for ideas and storylines to be posted uninhibited and left open for discussion so that one day they may become a great CYOA, with the writer being prepared for anything(again, not mentioning any names).
He's been having computer troubles, apparently. Since he's the most regular with updates, it kind of makes the board look dead. No offense to the rest of the /eientei/ crew, but you guys aren't exactly the quickest in the race.
>>75083 Picture a sandbox on the side of the road. Constantly living in this sandbox is a strange, loud, Polish child. He enacts events that he sees in his mind, shaping the sand into buildings and moving about plastic army men, mimicking their voices. People pass the sandbox occasionally and give him an indication of where he should take his imaginings. When these people do not show up frequently enough or simply ignore him he becomes agitated, and goes to someone else’s sandbox to take a huge dump in order to let off his frustration. This has had the side effect of many believing the child to be somewhat touched in the head, and thus steer clear of him resulting in a vicious cycle that harms all involved.
Occasionally there are a few others who join him: a girl with an odd accent, and a boy utterly obsessed with airplanes, but no one is there more than the Polish child.
Ah, it's been years since I last visited anyone else's sandbox... Let alone taking a dump in them. One would think after maturing, people would quit fooling around in the sand, yet here we are... Building sand castles that shall be forgotten before the summer vacation ends. Cruel fate, isn't it?
The LOLITROLLYOU thing you're trying to pull off here aside, this isn't the summary thread. Go there, if you want to piss on me and hide in audacity.
It has been seven days since the incident with Utsuho, and my arrival at the Komeji mansion - a place which I found under unfortunate, and perhaps a little dangerous circumstances. A little dangerous? Make that 'very dangerous'. Deathly, even - though more than all the minor youkai on the way, not to mention the unbearable heat, it turned out that the inhabitants of the mansion itself are the most perilous creatures one can encounter in this unfriendly world. Well, I may have just called it 'unfriendly', but it would seem that even the most jacked up situations can wind up to become an interesting experience. Just like this one - where I found myself living in the mansion for several days, with the Komeji sisters, and their gang - a pair of really peculiar animal youkai, a crow and a cat, who not only did their best to make my stay as stimulating as possible, but also made it so that Satori - the master of the mansion - would always get to know about our excesses. Pure malice, if anything, I expected nothing less from those two. Enough said, I now know why this place is considered so hostile to anything but the fiercest of youkai - it simply aims to kill you one way or the other. Be it heat, claws, teeth, magic, fire, spikes, or bloodloss, everything here seems to be intent on murdering whoever comes across. Only by a streak of wretched luck, my suffering is that of a milder kind. Fortunately, not everyone here is intent on causing me pain. Satori - the only one who hasn't attempted to force any kind of violence on my poor self yet - has served nicely as a serene refugee from the heat of the battle throughout all these days, as well as kept me fed and relatively alive - after all, if it wasn't for her hospitality, my bones would be bleaching somewhere in a dark cave, fated to be forgotten by everyone from the village, or remembered as - the bones that belonged to that one stupid guy who went underground and died like a coward. Yeah, I'm a coward. But how can one not be a coward, when surrounded by all those creatures with immense magical powers, able to tear you apart with a single finger, if not with a thought alone? That is why, every time Satori allowed me to sit around with her in the library, I would appreciate the offer, and obediently agree to carry the tea set in her stead. It was a small price to pay for - often - numerous hours of relative peace. Now, is one of these times. While Utsuho and Rin sow chaos outside, me and the calm and quiet master of the mansion enjoy our silence, surrounded by hundreds of tomes, the air full of that distinctive, aggressive, yet somehow pleasant scent of old paper. That, and the smell of slowly cooling tea. Having no interest in the arcanes of magic, I only run my eyes over pages, sometimes stopping at the more eye-catching paragraphs or pictures, only to forget their contents a second later, after I'd moved on. Silence is golden, they say, and I have learned the most literal meaning of that phrase the hard way, when one time, I dared to disturb Satori's reading with an inappropriate comment. Ever since that day, I've always kept quiet until after we were done, and returned to the corridors of the mansion. Speaking of which... Clatter. Her slender, a bit childishly short fingers put the cup down after holding it up for a few seconds in front of her mouth. It is not the first time I saw her take up the cup and not take a single sip, but who am I to judge other people's habits? Be it out of absent-mindedness, or whatever else, regardless, I can't help, but find that a bit... cute, maybe. No, actually... I close the book and support an elbow on it, then place my chin on my palm, and look at Satori. By saying that her mannerism is cute at times, I of course meant that it is only a part of the full, adorable image she carries, despite being harsh beyond belief at times. Her little figure, smooth complexion, intoxicatingly deep-purple eyes, a bit disheveled mop - all of these small elements create a whole spectacle of cutesy, making one want to walk over, and throw his arms around her, then give her the strongest, and most affectionate hug she's ever seen. If I wasn't so scared, I'd probably stand up and do that right now. "... ahem." Even her brief cough is somewhat appealing. It may be due to the endless string of unfortunate events that I didn't get to spend too much time with her, but really, during all those moments in the library, rather than books, I was concentrated on observing Satori. At least the sight was more interesting than the books, as far as I'm concerned. What a shame she was the only one I've neglected - while the other dwellers of the mansion all showed me what they're made of, Satori... Satori kept shy and silent. Really, a pity. Not that if someone asked me, I'd admit it outright, but... She's been on my mind for quite some time. I know, it's immoral, and whatnot, but... She wriggles around in the chair for a few seconds, before settling down again. It's just the way she dresses, I think. Her clothes look like pajamas, and it all just makes me think about taking her to bed, and... Whatever comes after that. I'll probably never say this out loud, but I'd give everything to reach under her shirt, and start feeling around, unless her breasts land under my fingers, so I can start playing with her nipples, listening to her moans, all while gently kissing her neck, cheeks and lips...-- "Do men always think of such things?" A sudden, a bit displeased query breaks me out of reverie, and brings the image of a frowning girl, whom I have just fantasized about having sexual intercourse with, right into the softest spot of my courage. Her eyes - all three of them, including the mind-reading one - are focused one me, in an expression of irritation. Even the mind-reading one... Oh hell. "Er, I..." There's no way I'm going to lie myself out of this. I'm screwed, utterly - forgetting the privacy of my thoughts cannot be kept intact in front of this girl was the most foolish thing I could ever achieve, and it just so happened that I did. "I'm sorry!" I practically bang my head on the table "It's because Rin and Utsuho keep on teasing me! I can't contain those thoughts!" And because you're so cute, but I'd rather jam a screwdriver up my ass than say tha-- oh, for fuck's sake! "I guess..." she syllabizes every word, but I cannot fathom the reason for such a tone "It's natural for men to... think about those kinds of things..." "Yes!" it's over, I may as well confess, and hope for the best "It's natural! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...!" A short pause, full of anticipation, and helpless shivering, passes by, almost unnoticed. "Still, do you think I really would... do those things with you...?" No, I don't. Frankly, I don't. I wouldn't dare to dream you'd ever sleep with me, Satori. The other three are something else, but you're a holy grail, an unreachable utopia, which I will forever be denied, until the end of days, where you will finally understand what I wanted all along, but because of my sudden passing, it will forever remain undone. I'm so hopeless. So pathetic. Being so pathetic, I can only ask you, to maybe consider, maybe just THINK about doing it with me! Just a little, you don't even have to do anything, just...! "... okay." she suddenly says "If it's just a little..." I arise from my despairing pose, only to see Satori's blushing face, inches from mine. The second I straighten up, she throws one leg over my things, and promptly seats herself upon my lap. I can feel her soft breath on my neck, and fear for my life. If it's a punishment, just make it swift, I beg you. Cut off my head, and be done with it, or something, just don't make me suffer anymore!
But instead of that, all I feel is something slowly creeping into my pants. Slowly, mostly because it's having problems with getting through the obstacle in form of my zipper, that it can't manage to open. I dare not to move when it finally gets rid of it, and slips into my underwear. "... wah." I don't know which of us gasped when the thing - a set of fingers, lands on the very tip of my already erect shaft. I can't decide whether to close my eyes or not, but seeing Satori's concentrated face, flushed, but incredibly focused, so focused there's a dribble about to flow down from the corner of her lips, makes the decision for me, and chooses the former. My hips jerk up when she wraps her little palm around The Fool junior. "L-look." she stutters while saying that "I'm... I-I'm doing this thing out of your fantasies." She may claim so, but all that's happened was her grabbing my meat, and nothing else... The whole world seems to be screaming at her to start moving, but I can't find enough courage to suggest anything. "M-moving?" And as if on a cue, she really does start moving. Sliding her hand up and down, with difficulty, under all these layers of fabric... Not anymore. The instant I thought that, there's suddenly a sense of freedom ruling over the crotch of mine. She pulled it out, she really did. I can't believe this. Both of her hands are working on giving me pleasure now, I can feel that. "A-aa... ah..." Great, simply marvellous! Despite it being a preludium to possibly my final demise, my body seems to be still enjoying it. Just like the first time with Utsuho, my mouth starts to mutter moans all of a sudden. "D-does it really feel that good?" "Y--hnn... Y-yes..." "Open your eyes." I dare not to defy that order. And what I see, surpasses my wildest fears. Satori, having raised her shirt up to the point where her chest is fully exposed, looks at me impatiently, while holding the edge of it in her teeth. Her hands are still on my junior, but when I try to glance down there, she suddenly yells. "D-don't look!" "S-sorry!" I apologize out of a reflex "I didn't want to--" "I know what you wanted." she says, now much calmer, but still through clenched teeth. The way she holds that shirt up with her mouth only fuels my excitement. I can't believe this. "Just... don't look." "O-okay..." Satori looks aside after my meek agreement is voiced. "T-touch them." she says. "What?" I ask, unable to believe her words "T-touch what...?" "My breasts..." Her face is absolutely red now, there's not a single spot that would retain the original colour of her skin. She's probably even redder than I am, not to mention the fact she's still holding onto my penis, as if letting go of it would cause some sort of natural disaster. I know that holding it like this only draws another kind of disaster nearer with every second. Nevertheless, this is what I dreamed of, so why not..."I'll probably die anyway, so there's nothing to lose. She flinches a bit when I place my hands on her almost completely flat chest. She shivers when I touch her nipples with my index fingers. "M-massage." I obey, and start rubbing my palms against those barely tangible chunks of flesh. "Nn--..." Did she just moan? No, it must be merely an illusion, brought forth by this idiotic situation. There's no way Satori would moan just because of this. There's no way she would slide a bit closer, and place the tip of my son on something wet and soft. And warm. Incredibly warm. There's no way she would then push her hips forward... But for the love of everything holy and whoever broke this shattered reality, she just did. I can feel myself slowly sliding into her insides, I can feel her arms wrapping around my shoulders, pushing my own, entrapping them between my and her chest, pressing it hard against what you could call her breasts, with a little bit of imagination. "S-satori--" I try to ask, but then she pushes even harder, making me reach the deepest part of her extremely narrow, extremely wet, and extremely pleasuring corridor. "Oh go--ggh..." I grit my teeth, fighting off the white haze that's started to make it's way into my mind. Satori remains still, breathing hard, as if she's just ran a marathon. "Sa-satori...?" "W-wait for a second..." she pants out "I... I've never done it with a man, so..." It's not like I can do anything right now anyway. Given how things are, I'm pretty much trapped here, relying solely on her mercy. Unable to move. All I can do, is wait for her to start. It's... Almost like if I... belonged to her. "O-okay..." she whispers "I think I'm ready." And then it happens - the unbelievable. Her hips - and hips alone - pull back, sending shivers down my spine, from all of the sensations, all the friction I can feel inside of her, through that certain part of my body that's grating against her own flesh, inside her tummy. Then she pushes forward again, forcing another moan out of my mouth. Out of hers as well. Obscene, wet sounds can be heard in the serene air of the library as she repeats that simple, yet heavenly delightful maneuver, again, and again, once, twice, thrice, and to the point where I lost the count, unable to keep the clarity of mind anymore. The shirt she's been holding in her mouth up till now, falls down, covering my hands that firmly keep touching her breasts. "Sa--nn--... Satori--hhnn..." merciless, even though she's making a lot of noise herself, she's still not allowing me to speak clearly "I'm about to--" "I kn--nnnnnn--ow!" her voice is as drunk with pleasure as mine "Y-youkai can--nnnn--can't! Have! Children! Nnn! With! Humans...! So...!" She's basically allowing me to--... No, it's like I said - I have no say in this matter. There's nothing I can do to escape her tease. There's nothing I can do to prevent this. I'm at my limit. All I can do is give in...
And let the haze overwhelm my consciousness...
And shoot all I have...
Inside that incredibly hot corridor of hers.
"Haah... haah..." Both me and her remains still for a couple of seconds, panting, sweaty like a couple that has just had an intensive sexual intercourse. Silly, how logic can apply itself even to something as ridiculous as this. "Sa--Satori..." She raises her purple eyes up to my face. "Y-yeah?" "You're not... going... to kill me?" "What... made you think... I would...?" I don't get it. I don't get it at all. This is all simply too messed up. I was supposed to die long ago, yet here I am, still taking in all the heat from her chest through my palms. And she doesn't do a thing. "In fact..." she says, a warm, yet somewhat dangerous smile crawling onto her cute face. "I'll be looking forward to seeing you more and more here in the library."
See, that's what happens when I get a good idea. In other words, a favourable 'whim' to transform a prospect into a 'final product' that is a complete scene. Required ingridients are: ideas, time, motivation. Truth be told, I should also throw in some talent, but I think I have a sufficient amount of it built in to skip this point, if I can allow myself a bit of narcissism. Not too much though, that thing could still use work, but I'm too afraid of reading it again. I always cringe after reading my own scenes. Brrr.