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After reading some of the hilarious entries shown in this article (http://www.bostonherald.com/news/national/west/view.bg?articleid=1112881&srvc=rss) for an actual contest, I thought we could have one ourselves.

Write a short (no more than 3 sentences) Touhou related opening scene which would make Nasu himself cringe at the QUALITY. Prizes are TBA.
I'll start us out slow.

"Reisen's face hardened, like the tough shell of the supository forced inside of her earlier that morning. This was not going to be a good day."
This should be fun.

Sakuya grit her teeth at the sight of the blood leaking from torn genitals and glittering in the light, much like the contents of a torn sandbag might spill out and shimmer under the sun. While the mistress would no doubt be enthralled by the prospect of a sanguine affair, Sakuya could find no joy in using the incorrect end of the sparkling silver knife for her nightly fit of passion.
Kourin (whose real name was Rinnosuke Morichika, but everyone called him Kourin (except for Marisa who called him Kourin-ze)) wore a trough in the floor of his curio shop pacing anxiously. Soon, the love of his half-life, Alice Margatroid, would arrive and he would have to tell her the truth he had been avoiding like a danmaku bullet. A smile crossed his meganekko face as he patted his full, round belly, incubating the new life they had created together.
Just like that you are presented with a most troublesome dilemma; on the one hand you can buy this awesome fig and *hehehehe* 'hot-glue' it or you can save the money for stuff like food and that awesome Tsukihime remake that's coming out soon (you can finally get sacchin's route). You're torn between the two, and time isn't on your side. You gotta make a decision NOW.
Flandre Scarlet who was Remilia Scarlets sister was one day blasting at her pluffies. She got a maid from her sister that said that witches and shrine maidens were attacking her place and asked her for help so she went. Flandre Scarlet opened her wings and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so she had to go.

Oh, shit.
Marisa and Reimu kissing in passion. "Oh my Marisa," say Reimu, when suddenly wall fall down with a crash and Alice drive into room riding steamroller.
"Marisa what are you doing?!" Alice shout. "I have gotten you steamroller for present and find you kissing Reimu," Alice cry bitter tears.
My name is Aya Shameimaru, and I have herpes. Like a collection of red dirt anthills, the infection shows across my face, the steady streams of pus and gore streaming from my sores like the cum flowing out of ZUN's fat dick, red and pulsating as it covers my face in pulsating, thick gobs of thick, salty goodness.

Damnit, Momizi's gonna be pissed.

oh u.
"HATE SIGN, MASTER SPARK" You shout as the dark mini-hakkero shoots out a red beam that annihilates it's opponent without even trying. You got the dark mini-hakkero from Marisa right as she died, it turned dark because of the hate you felt for the person who took away the love of your life. Your once blond hair turned black and your eyes are now yellow, you will not let them turn red because that would mean you have lost all love.


So, who gets the prize? Teruyo or Anonymous?
Hi my name is Tsubasa Kawaiiko i live in gensokyo i'm Reimu's cousin from another dimension but i crossed the border my name means Cute Little Wings because i have wings on my back they are dragon wings because i am also a dragon celestial and emo and lots of people make fun of me for that like Marisa. I dont like Marisa so i beat her up with my unbeatable spellcard shes also with Alice and theyre both having sex together which is ewww because theyre both girls. So now im headed to the scarlet devil mansion to ask Sakuya for a new knife because i accidentally broke my old one cutting myself because i was too strong and powerful for iron because I am a half-youkai.
After spending another day o the mansion Remilia got bored and went to play with Sakuya, who was her maid and dog and toy, and called patchouli to play too, but she had to force Patchoulis because she never get off of the library. When they were playing Flandre got off her room and saw her sister playing with the dog-maid and the library girl (Her sister is Remilia in case you didn't notice, they even have the same family name [Scarlet, like red or vermilion] and were both vampire, because they were real sisters, not adopted sisters, and adoption sucks because someone is always the "real" daughter and the other is always the "fake" daughter) and went to play with them too, but they ran away because they were scared (because Flandre is the scariest) and locked Flandre on her room again and went back to playing. Flandre cried and got madded, and broke down off her room and killed everybody that's not remilia, and then they had lots of fun together for ever!

"Oh god, how could this happen?" That is what Alice thought to herself as she sat upon the toilet, staring at the cardboard tube that had held the paper which she needed to wipe herself, but now was as empty as her own bowels now were after that beef and bean burrito platter she had for lunch caused her to rush to the bathroom and purge it from her system like a anorexic supermodel after eating a rice cake, but from the other end. Looking down in dismay she saw her panties shining white like an angel of salvation between her ankles, and it was then that she knew what she must do.

Where have I seen this before...it looks too familiar.


Really, GM this is your biggest flaw, updating WUIG once a month.
>Really, GM you are the biggest troll, updating WUIG once a month.
Thread is over. We can all go home now.
SDM: LA hacked modo Sakuya!jOmBcI54aU!!WwAwN5BJHj

...what do I win?

Really, I think this one is the worst. The others don't have a pregnant male.

Didn't you guys read SDM:LA? You better go read it, it's already on its second playthrough and he's doing a marvelous jog.
Yosh, haven't been here all too long but all this CYOA stuff seems pretty interesting and thought why not join in on the fun too but I don't know if it is cool to write here.
>>55742 you said that I should start a story, I did..

The Tengu approaches the enterence of the shrine, only to find a miko standing guard.
"Halt!" Yells the red-white. "None shall pass into the sacred grounds of the Hakurei Shrine!"
"Don't give me that crap, Reimu" The tengu waves her camera in front of her. "I heard you were having an orgy today and I'm here to take pictures."
I am disappointed that no creations of mine apparead in this thread yet.

>I am mad that no one is posting in my shitty new play through of this shrine.
>>55754 maybe you're just too good to be here, this is an amateur contest, and your professional!!

Actually, that gives me more leisure time to play stalkan games without people telling me to update~


Hello, HY~
>>55752 You dare to give me such a low-rate?" How rude you are Mr Dumbass!

Oh? STF likes YAF? Who else do you like, Saguya?
>"You"? What, do you think we're some sort of collective hivemind here?

You mean to tell me we aren't?
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50 bucks he likes himself
Fapping furiously
YAF and Teruyo/Sukima are the worst writers. Prove me wrong.

I love you too~
You wake up in Gensokyo, what do you do?
Your Logic is flawless.
But i still enjoy reading YAFs stories, it's like watching a trainwreck, you just can't look away.
This is the best so far in my opinion. Its like a proper story in terms of flow and over the top descriptions while making me cringe furiously. It has a very Scorn likeness to it.

Same for this.

I don't know how to feel about this.

the *spork of doom* style does not count as a story. It doesn't make us cringe, only rage.

Keep 'em coming! Its not over 'til Letty sings.
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not here to prove you wrong, just saying that they're also the worst drawing.
Letty is not fat nigger.
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Eh? I never said she was.

And even if she was fat, we'd still love her anyways. Letty~
If you loved her, she'd have a route in the VN.
Listen to the man, we need a Cirno/Letty route.
Get them both, not one.
Draw one of YAF anally pleasuring himself with a Reimu fig, please~
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Waking up, it was a morning like any other for the gate guard of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, save for the fact that she now had a penis. She was first alerted to this new addition to her anatomy by the strange rise of her blanket, like a small circus tent had been erected over her neither regions, and pulling back the covers she now marveled at the colossal pillar that was her morning wood, standing proudly like a veiny totem pole. Exposed now to the air, her stiffened meat rod twitched and throbbed like a baby seal that had been clubbed in the head, and as the first rays of the dawn shone upon it, Meiling's massive muffin butterer seemed to quiver as if anticipating what was about to come.
As he moved rythmically with his wife, he couldn't help but think back to days when things were simpler, and when they actually had sex instead of playing Dance Dance Revolution.
You are a SICK SICK man.

Hi, YAF.

Jesus fuck, what the fucking shit? Sukima is freeing himself from Teruyo's influence, that pic is old.


Who was the artist who drew this one again?
I need to get a few things out of the way before story time begins. These will affect the story itself, and cause you all to either have a charming genius Anon sexing up Yukari, or to have a strong Anon woman scizzoring with Chen. This said, first question.

I was wondering when someone would do that.

...Nah, LAE will always have the QUALITY award. It's easily the worst LA, with TS and BC/R tied for second.

ha ha oh wow
LAE is way better than any of the iterations of border crossing. Although, that's kind of like complementing syphilis for not being AIDS.

...Damn, this is tough. Comparing some of the worst stories.

I can honestly say, though, that LAE and BC/R have no good points, so they're equally horrible.

Then again, GSQ, most anything in /others/ or /shrine/, and Nightshade's LA are obviously some of the worst shit ever.

Yeah, but the guy that wrote BC/R has actually become good, while Teruyo still sucks.

TS is good, or at least it used to be before TS3 and 4.


Fuck you, GSQ was awesome and you know that.
>Fuck you, GSQ was awesome and you know that.

No, you are the cancer.


Bah, whatever, I liked GSQ, it was diferent at the time, we only had WUIG and MiG was beggining, so yeah, whatever now.
I hope you are happy now Doujin, this whole Thread degraded into a shitfest with people whining like little bitches.
Another Thread that Dr. Awesome fagged up.
Sup all, I've been looking around the different boards for a good place to place this story thread in since it was brought up in a post from a thread of mine in /forest/.

That joke got old quick.
He had been given a lot to deal with on that day. He'd lost everything in that car accident. His wife, child, and his legs. The reality of the situation escaped him, leaving him in a state of empty emotions as though the situation didn't matter to him.
On the bright side, at least he'd be able to park in the disabled spaces now.

Yes, that thought was his last comfort, a final barrier between his mind and utter despair. His life was somewhat bearable until the fateful day when he realized the truth.

"I can't drive a fucking car without my legs."


Sorry for the mini-hijack.

I lol'd
butthurt senses tingling. Not my fault people are acting like children and arguing power levels.

I lol'd

I loved the baby seal comparison. well done.
I'm the guy who said he would start a Limited Adventure style thread based in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Enough people seemed interested so I'm going to give it a whirl and see what happens.
...Retarded tripfaggy disclaimer out of the way, let us begin.
I started a VN on Gaia and thought id bring it here. It has lots of characters I made myself XD

first to five because it gets hard to count all the votes please keep this at the top.

constructive criticism welcome.

P.S. I am not a nigger.

Bleh, just writing this gave me a migrane.

LOL hai I made this coya on gaia and i decided to bring it here since it had touhou and stuff XDDD

I brung a lot of my frends with me 2 cuz they like it and all ^_^ so here goes.

Ur a half-demoon half-angel who has just been kicked from teh heavens by tenshe, and...
>P.S. I am not a nigger.
For extra crappy power, this should have read:

>P.S. Plz plz plllllzzzzzzz do not call me an n-word its not a nice word and anyway i am not one :(:(:(

You know, I can't help but laugh when I see things like this, because a CYOA on Gaia would get shot down, especially a Touhou one.
Would't know, I've never been there.

I am sometimes amazed at the fact that you guys know so much about Gaia.

Well, you know that saying "keep your firends close, keep your enemies even closer"?

Wait, it's not that one, it's "Know your enemies".
The burning shame Alice felt was two fold, the indecent act of soiling herself in public was enough to bring a salty tear to her eye. But it was nothing compared to the shame she felt for the sexual thrill as fecal matter slowly crept down her leg in a warm trickle, fetid with the stench of waste and spreading a damp patch of brown across her once immaculate dress.

She wanted to die, it was so demeaning that she wanted to kill herself right now. And yet she couldn't help but shudder with immense pleasure as her muscles relaxed again despositing a squishy, warm turd into her panties.

For a while Alice sat there, unable to stop herself from wriggling her hips to smush the foul stuff into her skin, then finally she spoke up in a frail voice.

"Marisa, it happened again."


Not sure if that's within the rules or not though.
I'm going to pretend I didn't read that.
Not winner material for this thread, Scorn. That might actually be erotic, depending on person's fetishes.
Don't you read the stuff from /d/?
>Marisa, it happened again
>happened again

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Omg hai ^___^ I'm Arisu-chan and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is touhou!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu marisa!! <333333333 OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^_______^When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw...MARISA!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!!!!!!" KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII MARISA-SAMA!!!!!!!!" I yelled n_____n then she turned chibi then un-chibi!!she looked at me [O.O;;;;;;; ze~] and then she saw how hot I am *___* she grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE MUSHROOMS!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat dude watching us and I could tell he was undressing her with his eyes!!!!!!!!!! [ -___________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled "UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT'S MY WOMAN WHY DON'T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH REIMU CAUSE MARISA-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)" then marisa held me close =^______^= and said she would only ever love me ze~ and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to her apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became witches!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^__________<) ^______________________^;;;;;;;;

This emoticon makes me laugh now because I always picture it as a guy with one really fucked up eye, and it's hilarious.
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Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I live in a castle called Scarlet Devil Mansion in Gensokyo where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside SDM. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of fairy preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Sakuya Izayoi!
>Write a short (no more than 3 sentences) Touhou related opening scene
>no more than 3 sentences
In west Clownadelphia, born and raised, on the playground you spent most of your days. When a couple of clowns who were up to no good, started making trouble in your neighborhood. They proceeded to beat the everloving shit out of you, and your consciousness fades away quickly.
Some time later you wake up. Face down on top of a hill. Looking around, you see nothing familar. Nearby there's a forest, Down the hill in the distance there seems to be a village, and on the edge of the forest there seems to be a shrine. Where will you go?

Write damnit, where are the updates?

Thread Watcher x