QUANTUM JUNCTION, GET IN BOTH LANES.
The two of them stare at you as you make your decision.
"Now, wait just a second here!" You're not going to decide until you're absolutely certain that this room is safe.
Youmu taps her foot impatiently. "What is it this time?"
"I have an idea." You eyeball the painting again, that tapping sound still on your mind. "It's crazy, but it just might work."
"I see.." She crosses her arms, staring at you. "Please, by all means then."
You turn to Aya. "Do you know how to use that?" You point to the rifle slung haphazardly over her shoulder.
"Uhh, no actually. I've never fired a gun before." She shrugs, taking it from her shoulder.
You take it from her. "Here, let me do it, then." But you're not finished, yet. You still have those in your pocket.
Yes, those youkai monocles. You'll need a power boost, and they might just do the trick. Rather than putting on just one as you should, you take them both out and wear them at the same time.
"Hold firm, my dear ladies, this social gathering shall soon be most exciting!" You wave for them to back away as you envision a worthy projectile. You settle on the .50 caliber BMG round, as it's stopping power is enough to take down even the largest of beasts. This'll shred anything that's behind that blasted picture!
You fire the weapon. As planned, it fires much like the Browning machine guns you've come to know and love so well. It thumps away in your grip at an alarmingly fast pace, blowing the black marble wall--and the painting--into oblivion. You're certain you can hear your own laughter.
You cease fire and allow the dust to settle. The wall is indeed full of holes, but strangely enough, the painting has not even a scratch on it.
"Blast!" you exclaim, "I do believe this may become foolishly rowdy in here! Stand far clear, my dears! Preferably, the hindmost quarters look marvelous!" The three of you run to the other side of the room.
You prepare to fire again, this time, envisioning a much stronger projectile. This time it's nothing less than a 6-inch naval shell. You're certain it'll be capable of destroying this blasted picture! You fire, and a large cloud of black smoke clouds your vision. The weapon fires silently, yet almost instantly you hear a deafening bang from across the room. The dust slowly settles.
Although unbroken and intact, the picture has fallen to the floor, exposing a passageway behind it caved in from your last attack. The wall is in pieces. Chucks and small shards of black rock litter the room. You approach the stairs as you hand the weapon back to Aya, who reluctantly takes it from your hands.
"That, my dear Aya, is how properly to use a firearm!"
As you climb over the rubble and up the stairs, you notice something strange laying behind where the painting once stood. You kneel on a large piece of rock as you stare down upon it. Whatever it is, it coughs.
"My word! I do believe it yet lives! Mayhap I were to fire upon it once more.." You wonder how anything could live through a direct hit like that.
"No more! I give up!" It cries out from under the rubble, attempting to pull free.
"Hmm?" Aya leans forward. "I'm surprised anything at all is alive down here. What exactly are you?"
It struggles for a while longer before pulling it's leg free. It jumps up suddenly, pushing away the debris covering it. Blonde hair, yet she's not one of the two in the picture. She brushes off her dark, almost blood-red dress.
"I'm Elly!" She says, offering absolutely no explanation. She smiles as if she'd just cured cancer.
"I see..." Aya sighs heavily, burying her face in her hand. It's obvious that wasn't the answer she was searching for.
You lean forward. "Now, listen here my good lady. I do believe we are in a bit of a bind here, and it would be most welcome were you to show us the door!"
She cocks her head to the side slightly, her face holding a smile. "Huh?"
"Forsooth, my dear! We happened upon this wondrous place most accidental, and we are unable to excuse ourselves! Perchance you could assist?"
"Eh?" She doesn't seem to get it at all.
You yank the monocles from your face in frustration. "What I'm asking is, how do we get out?!"
She cocks her head back to it's upright position, a look of utter confusion contorts her smiling face. "Uhh, normally you'd use the front door?"
"Yeah, well.." You point to the solid wall behind you.
She seems shocked that it's even there. "Eh? What's this?" She pushes past you, running over to the wall. "Ehhhhh?!"