"In this, the year 2012, the planets have aligned and belief in the supernatural is at it's peak. In northern Japan, as well as in many places around the world, barriers have fallen. Mostly because the people who put them up knew fuck all about astrology and didn't expect this to happen."

"You have been deemed smart (stupid) and charismatic (expendable) enough to work as a diplomat (sacrifice) between us, humanity, and those humans and non-humans who were previously under the barriers."

"Five such barrier-dwellers will be chosen to live with you in an all expense paid (also, condemned) house in a lovely quiet (deserted) area originally planned for mass landscaping (nuclear testing). Your job is to teach them to integrate with the new world, to learn our laws, and mostly to not get eaten in the first week."

"To prevent any views of favoritism, or rigging, by the native dwellers of the lands within the north japanese barrier (henceforth to be referred to, as the locals do, as 'Gensokyo') a semi-random system of selecting the five you wil acclimatise has been put in place. Each eligible local has been asked (or forced by the local authority, one Hakurei Reimu) to write a single word or phrase which they feel describes themselves."

"You are to choose five words or phrases from the following list. This will determine the first five from Gensokyo to be put through this trial program."

"The list is as follows and has been arranged in random order, please select five only:
Elegant, Pad, Strongest, Friendly, Intelligent, Willful, Rumia, Talented, Journalist, Fuck-Off, Hard-Working, Useless, Genius, Gorgeous, Honest, Dull, Following, Educated, Optimist, Playful, SPRING, Young, Sleepy, Efficient, Perfect, AWESOME, Pleased, Shy, Bullied, Forgiving, Dizzy, Loyal, Happy, Maid, Tired, or Princess."

"Once you have selected your five candidates, please hand this letter back to the courier who will arrive tomorrow. You will then be moved to your new accomodation and, when preperations are completed, your 'house-guests' will move in."

"Please note that failure to comply with this program will be considered a crime against the government state of the country, punishable by incarceration (and death)"

"Do have an enjoyable day."



You look over the letter again, then glance up at the military courier who had hand-delivered it.

"Is this... serious?" You ask, feeling a little stupid over the act. While it sounded so stupidly far fetched, the fact it was delivered by an honest-to-god member of the military proved that even if you didn't believe it, someone did.

"I am not privy to the contents of top secret documents!" declares the courier, standing to attention as he does so. Probably, you suspect, to intimidate you somewhat. "If, however, you are asking if this document is legitimate then I indeed can confirm this is the case! It was handed to my by the general-in-chief and prime minister themselves!"

"Oh." you say, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. Especially by the last few lines... incarceration? Death? This was a lot to take in at once and you guessed it showed on your face in some way. "I see... I'll need... uh..."

"Time to think? Yes!" The courier saluted once, "I have been instructed to return this time tomorrow to receive your reply to this document! Do have a good day sir!" With that the courier turned sharply and marched down the hallway of your apartment block - leaving more than a few people peeking out of their own front doors to see what the commotion was all about.

Laughing nervously at your neighbours, you pull your apartment door shut and take another look at the letter, then at your meagre hovel. An all expenses paid house in the countryside... it did sound nice. The word 'condemned' was a little worrying, but then the apartment block you were in now was technically 'condemned' too, so it couldn't be too bad. Besides - if the goverment was paying, surely it couldn't be hard to afford some men to have it touched up some, right? Either way it was a step up and it wasn't like you had any particular reason to stay behind in the middle of this over-crowded city.

Besides, no matter how... dodgy... the rest of the letter looked, there was no real way of getting around the threat at the end of it.



So... pick five huh?




-----

So, here's an odd little VN thing... Think along the lines of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki or Tenchi or the like. You, anon, must look after five touhous for an undisclosed period of time - in the modern world (albeit very far in the countryside in the modern world) You must attempt to teach them how to live in this modern world (and yes, this includes trying to teach them not to eat people though... that one is kinda up to you)

Each word on the list represents a touhou. Some people (irc room peeps) may have guessed some... some may be obvious, some not so obvious. Don't worry though, as the reasoning behind each descriptive word WILL be explained when the touhous come to stay.

so for everyone, here is that list again:

Elegant, Pad, Strongest, Friendly, Intelligent, Willful, Rumia, Talented, Journalist, Fuck-Off, Hard-Working, Useless, Genius, Gorgeous, Honest, Dull, Following, Educated, Optimist, Playful, SPRING, Young, Sleepy, Efficient, Perfect, AWESOME, Pleased, Shy, Bullied, Forgiving, Dizzy, Loyal, Happy, Maid, Tired, or Princess.

Pick five each, and i'll do a tally to pick which five are the most popular choices tomorrow.

PS: Don't ask about Suika Wright, it'll happen sooner or later.