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183125 2014/11/29 (Sat) 05:03 No. 183125
It was a dark and stormy night.

Well, no, not really. You've just always wanted to start a story out that way. No, you see, this is a story of wishes and dreams and the skulls you had to crush to get your wish.

But you can't make a wish omelette without breaking a few eggs. Or faces.

Do you regret doing what you did to get here, wish-maker?

On the one hand, you did do some pretty awful things.

On the other hand, look at all this wishing you get to do. Think of the raw power.

You're sure the pain of regrets can be wished away.

That'd be a real dumb wish, though.

What is it you wish for? Money? Power? Love? Or... something else?

How about for the Zone to be go- wait, no, wrong story. And you're not a particular fan of blindness anyway.

You stretch your arms out in front of you, and think.

You think, because, after all this, you never actually expected to succeed.

You never actually had a concrete wish in mind. Drive off that bridge when you get to it, and all. Well, now you're flying off that bridge.

“I wish...”



Several weeks earlier...

You're watching the sky, lazing about with the grass at your back. It's a cool, clear night here in Gensokyo, and you're finally away from all of your responsibilities, if only for a minute.

For all that's changed in Gensokyo, the stars haven't. There's the whole issue of the second moon in the sky, but that's academic at this point. You look for your favorite constellation- though those zodiacal constellations are so overdone and overblown.

No, your favorite is a little... let's say, different?

[ ] Andromeda, The Princess
[ ] Argo Navis, The Swift One
[ ] Canis, The Dog
[ ] Cassiopeia, The Queen
[ ] Crater, The Cup
[ ] Delphinus, The Dolphin
[ ] Hercules, The Demi-God
[ ] Horologium, The Clock
[ ] Lepus, The Hare
[ ] Lupus, The Wolf
[ ] Lyra, The Lyre
[ ] Orion, The Hunter
[ ] Perseus, The Hero

2014/11/29 (Sat) 05:23 No. 183126
[X] Lepus, The Hare
2014/11/29 (Sat) 05:50 No. 183127
[x] Lepus, The Hare
2014/11/29 (Sat) 05:54 No. 183128
[X] Delphinus, The Dolphin
2014/11/29 (Sat) 06:03 No. 183129
[x] Argo Navis, The Swift One
2014/11/29 (Sat) 11:34 No. 183136
[X] Hercules, The Demi-God

That's a lot of choices, especially with so little prior information.
2014/11/29 (Sat) 16:02 No. 183140
[X] Horologium, The Clock
2014/11/29 (Sat) 16:13 No. 183141
My guess is that each constellation correlates with a particular character. For example:

Horologium, The Clock -> Sakuya.
2014/11/29 (Sat) 17:00 No. 183142
[X] Horologium, The Clock
2014/11/29 (Sat) 17:24 No. 183143
[X] Perseus, The Hero
2014/11/29 (Sat) 17:35 No. 183144
[X] Horologium, The Clock
2014/11/29 (Sat) 17:38 No. 183145
[ ] Lupus, The Wolf

Awoooooooooooooooo~
2014/11/29 (Sat) 18:56 No. 183147
[X] Horologium, The Clock

>making a new story
>not updating Banki

excuse me sir
2014/11/29 (Sat) 19:00 No. 183149
[x] Argo Navis, The Swift One

Aya perhaps?
2014/11/29 (Sat) 19:59 No. 183150
[x] Argo Navis, The Swift One

Damn Wish Granter in STALKER never gives you a good outcome, unless you like being part of C-Consciousness.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 01:36 No. 183155
[x] Lupus, The Wolf

Come on Kagerou!
2014/11/30 (Sun) 02:06 No. 183156
[X] Argo Navis, The Swift One

What could it all mean?
2014/11/30 (Sun) 02:55 No. 183158
Well, there's a tie between Argo Navis and Horologium.

I want to write, so I'm just going to call it for Argo Navis.

Because that's how I do. (Also it got the first vote.)
2014/11/30 (Sun) 04:09 No. 183159
[x] Argo Navis, The Swift One

The Argo was Jason's ship, traveling to retrieve the Golden Fleece. That'd make a lot of sense, if you were Murasa Minamitsu.

But you're not. You're just an exceptionally fast, exceptionally charming, and exceptionally brilliant tengu reporter.

No, not that one. Why does everybody compare you to her?

Over the last couple thousand years, the constellation fell out of favor both with astronomers and, well, with visibility in the night sky. Its stars have dimmed, its constellation has been broken up into several different asterisms.

It was also ungodly huge.

As in, the largest constellation in the sky.

And, as you're looking at it, something catches your eye.

The North Star has fallen from the sky.

Is falling.

And it falls, burning through the night sky, lighting it up with the fire of its passage. It streaks over your head, trailing fire and smoke behind it, a thrumming bass rumble as it passes.

You watch, as it passes Youkai Mountain. It overflies the Hakurei Shrine. And it flies to the very edge of the border, before it lands with a deafening crash.

Thankfully, there's no apocalypse. No dinosaur-killing explosion.

Hell, not even all that much of a dust cloud.

It must not have been going all that fast.

But this is a hell of a story, and damned if you're going to let that other tengu bint scoop you. Shit, she's probably still sleeping right now. Maybe even with one of her 'sources'. What a slut.

You kick off the ground, spread your wings, and fly.

Fly, to the edge of Gensokyo.

To Muenzuka- the final stop along the Road of Reconsideration. Also, Nazrin's home, provided she's not at the Myouren Temple. That'll wake her up real good.

And you can get an interview. Today's looking up.



As you arrive at Muenzuka, it's oddly deserted. And significantly less cratered than you'd expect. In fact, there's only one person, sitting atop a rock in the middle of a clearing, while the moon shines down.

“Huh,” you say. This is just weird.

The person on the stump looks up, and waves you closer. You shrug, and walk forward. It's Star Sapphire, one of the three fairies of... something. Semantics. You're a journalist, you'll get her to refresh your memory without giving the impression it needed to be refreshed. You're good at that game. In the meantime...

“'Sup, Sapphire. Where are the other Three Stooges?”

She rolls her eyes. “Three Fairies of Light.” See? Nailed it.

You smile and do your best to exude an aura of nonchalance. “So, you see a rock flying by, name of the North Star, which is, at last guess, not a rock. Or have you seen a crater? I was kind of expecting one of those.”

Star smiles at you. “Oh, that? That was me. In fact, you're not the only one to have noticed it.”

“Yeah? Then where's everybody else?”

She frowns. “Not entirely sure how to describe it. They're... here, but a different kind of here. It's magic and shit, Luna set it up. You notice how the moonlight's a little odd? And as for the rock, well. I'm sitting on it.”

You look, and see that it's not just an ordinary boulder, but a pockmarked, weathered, and still slightly steaming chunk of solid metal.

“So why the magic and shit?”

She smiles. “So nobody gets an unfair head start.”

You cross your arms pridefully. “Unfair? I was here first, fair and square.”

She scratches the side of her face and looks away from you. “You were actually... twelfth.”

“Out of how many?!”

“Thirteen. And honestly, I wasn't really expecting the thirteenth to show up here, we'll have to pay her a home visit.”

You continue to cross your arms, but now it's less in pride and more in wounded petulance. “Yeah, yeah. Now out with it.”

She beams at you. “How would you like to have a wish granted, Hatate?”

[ ] Shit yeah I want to have a wish granted.
[ ] Uh. Hm. This is a little sudden. Can I think on it?
[ ] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING
[ ] Write-in.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 05:04 No. 183161
[x] Depends on what it'd cost me.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 05:10 No. 183162
[x] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING

WHAT NOW, RABBIT?
2014/11/30 (Sun) 05:17 No. 183163
>>183162
YOU THINK I WOULD PUT THAT OPTION IN WITHOUT PLANNING FOR IT?!

JUST TRY ME

UOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
2014/11/30 (Sun) 05:52 No. 183165
[x] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING

IT'S A TRAP. One minute you say you want a wish and the next you're in some Battle Royale you-must-kill-your-friends shit and you're fucking King Arther only he's a woman.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 05:58 No. 183166
[x]Fuck yo shit!

(read: I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING)
2014/11/30 (Sun) 06:19 No. 183168
>>183163
[ ] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING

TELL ME. WAS BAITING US INTO VOTING FOR THIS A PART OF YOUR PLAN?
2014/11/30 (Sun) 06:57 No. 183170
[X] FUCK YES I DO AND AM ENTIRELY OKAY WITH KILLING EVERYONE I KNOW FOR IT.
You thought it was Aya, but in fact was best girl.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 07:04 No. 183171
>>183168
PRETTY MUCH, YEAH
2014/11/30 (Sun) 07:52 No. 183172
>>183171
HAVE WE STARTED THE FIRE, RABBUT?
2014/11/30 (Sun) 08:56 No. 183178
>>183171
I THINK YOU'RE LYING IN AN ATTEMPT TO REVERSE-PSYCHOLOGY US

GUESS WHAT, ITS NOT WORKING

[X] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING
2014/11/30 (Sun) 10:03 No. 183180
[X] Shit yeah I want to have a wish granted.

If we're going on a murder spree (we totally are), we might as well have a reason. But I guess all the other wishes would wind up fucking everyone over.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 12:23 No. 183183
[X] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING
2014/11/30 (Sun) 18:25 No. 183187
[X] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING

Let the fun begin!

..Now I wonder who would we be if we chose any other stars, they actually seem to correspond to an individual Gensokyo character.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 19:51 No. 183189
[x] I DON'T WANT MY WISH GRANTED BECAUSE I'M TERRIBLE AND BORING

Wishes, huh? You look at Star, and she's grinning broadly, free of guile. But it's probably a trap. This is how the fairies get you, you know.

“Nah,” you say. “I'm good.”

“Excellent! Now all you have to do to ge- wait, hold on. You said no?” Star was so sure that her proposal would be accepted, that she launched into her speech, and only realized you declined her partway through. Now she just looks positively baffled.

“You gonna give me an interview, Star?”

“An- an interview? Is that your wish?” She brightens again, when she realizes she can still salvage this, she can still bring you in on this.

You think for a moment. “Nah. Interview's not that important. See ya, Star.” Once again, you kick off the ground, spread your wings, and fly off.

“You can't!” Star shouts from behind you. “How could you turn this down!? You can't turn this down, Hatate!”

“Can and will,” you reply. It's late. You're going to go to bed, and put this fairy idiocy behind you. Youkai Mountain looms before you, and you alight on the path to your house. It's modest, but well-kept, a small one-bedroom home made of wood and paper, in the traditional style.

You slide the door open, kick off your geta, and step inside, yawning. You open the fridge, pluck out an orange, and start peeling it with one hand as you strip off your clothes with the other. As you're eating the orange, you turn on the shower, finish the last slice, and step in.

A long, hot shower relaxes you well after a day of... well, 'hard work' might be overstating it. But all the same, you snuggle into your futon, warm and happy, and you soon drift off to sleep.

The End
2014/11/30 (Sun) 20:04 No. 183190
Hatate! You've created a time paradox!
2014/11/30 (Sun) 20:08 No. 183191
Best story on the site.

Now back to Banki Quest. Or that time loop one.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 20:26 No. 183192
>Now back to Banki Quest.

Yes please.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 20:59 No. 183193
A shining example of this website's contributions to the world of Touhou fanfiction. I'll be recommending this to get it's own TV tropes page. So....who's up for some Banki quest?
2014/11/30 (Sun) 22:29 No. 183194
>>183192
>>183193
never

>>183191
>that time loop one

Wrote that for nanowrimo. I'll put it up on the internet eventually.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 23:14 No. 183198
Now I'm just imagining that everyone who showed up just decided to nope the fuck out after hearing about this fairy wish, with Star Sapphire getting more and more upset and flustered every time somebody leaves. It is funny to imagine.
2014/11/30 (Sun) 23:56 No. 183199
I enjoyed this story, will there be a Q&A
2014/12/01 (Mon) 00:56 No. 183200
>>183199
Sure, ask away.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 02:22 No. 183202
Well.....that escalated quickly
2014/12/01 (Mon) 03:30 No. 183205
Q: NO BANKI QUEST WHY
2014/12/01 (Mon) 04:25 No. 183206
>>183200

At the beginning of the story, which stories would the other characters have been?

Did you expect our choice to win?

Near the middle we met Star, how close to the star route were we? Also was there a Reisen route planned?

And of course because we reached the good end, how close were we to reaching a bad end/ which routes did we lock along the way?

Did you enjoy this run?
2014/12/01 (Mon) 04:27 No. 183207
>>183206
* which characters would the other choices have been?

Sorry, all this exitement got to me, its good to see the story finish after having been a reader for so long.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 05:16 No. 183208
Why did it take this long for best fairy to get her own CYOA?
2014/12/01 (Mon) 06:07 No. 183209
>>183205
BECAUSE I HATE YOU

>>183206
>At the beginning of the story, which stories would the other characters have been?

Same story, different character.

>Did you expect our choice to win?

Yes, actually. I have... a bit of a reputation after Favors.

>Near the middle we met Star, how close to the star route were we? Also was there a Reisen route planned?

I don't tend to think of terms of routes as defined by characters. If you're asking 'is romance an option', sure. You can work to get your awful crack pairing into this story and I'll do my best to violently whipsaw you between happiness and despair.

>And of course because we reached the good end, how close were we to reaching a bad end/ which routes did we lock along the way?

You did reach the best end, but the other endings will be covered in the epilogue.

>Did you enjoy this run?

Absolutely. I feel this is my strongest work to date. I'm particularly proud of the ending.

>>183207
>which characters would the other choices have been?

This will be covered in the epilogue.

>>183208
>Why did it take this long for best fairy to get her own CYOA?

But it's not hers.

EPILOGUE INCOMING

The birds are chirping, the sun is filtering through your thin walls softly, and your blanket is heavy on you. Getting up would be a chore. You just want to snuggle here in bed and waste the day away. But no. Work must be done, food must be earned.

But today you're finding it exceptionally hard to get up because your blankets have become extra heavy.

You open your eyes to see what is preventing you from getting up. And it's a fairy. Red faced, pouty, and staring right at you. It's Star Sapphire again.

“I told you, I don't want a wish.”

She sticks out her lip a little further, and it trembles, and you can see the tears in her eyes.

“No! I know there's a catch to the wish, Star, and I don't want to deal with it!”

“What if,” she replies, “what if I told you that the only catch is that you have to win the game?”

You roll your eyes. “I can't tell you the number of survival game mangas I've read, Star. And this is sounding right like a plot out of one of them. Sure, I get a wish. But the catch is that I have to murder my way to the top. And the wish doesn't bring back dead people.”

“M-murder?!” Star looks positively aghast. “Why would you think it's something like that?!”

“Duh, because that's how the plots always go?”

She closes her eyes and beats her fists on your chest, tears at the corners of her eyes. “I'd never make you do something like that! That's just terrible! You're terrible for thinking of it that way!”

You shrug. “Fine, then. The wish is something like a monkey's paw, and it takes what I wish for extremely literally or in the absolute worst way possible.”

Star blinks away tears. “I'd never do that! Sunny or Luna might but... but I never would!”

You sigh. Maybe, just maybe, there isn't actually a catch. “Still don't wanna play.”

“But... I said you can't refuse. I mean, you literally cannot. We assigned all the keys already. Which includes yours.”

“Keys?”

She brightens, because you're showing her even the barest interest now. “Yeah! All you have to do is collect the thirteen keys from all of the keyholders, open the star, and shazam! Wish granted!”

“That was a rock, not a star.”

“It's a prop, okay?!”

“And I didn't see any keyholes.”

“Because you didn't look! I was going to show you and it was going to be so ominous and cool and I had smoke machines set up and everything!” She seems to be back on the brink of tears. “A-and now it's all r-ruined!” She falls on your chest, bawling and blubbering.

Well, now you feel like an asshole. You made Star cry.

“Calm down, Star. I'll play, I'll play.”

She looks up at you, eyes still welling with tears. “R-really?”

You stifle your sigh, trying not to make her cry again. “Yeah. I'd love a wish.” You have absolutely no idea what you'd do with a wish.

Star sniffles, forces a smile, and then hops up, runs to a table, and grabs a box. She sits down right next to you, as you sit up and rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“H-here's your key, the key of Argo Navis. Keep it safe, the other twelve will be coming for it!”

You yawn. “That's a good point. Who are the other twelve?”

Star's eyes positively sparkle. “That's the best part! The identities aren't concretely known to anybody! Except, you know, the three of us.” She holds up her hands. “A-and don't try to threaten me! That'll just disqualify you!”

“Has someone tried to threaten it out of you already?”

“Yeah,” she sniffles. “But I didn't tell Reimu!” She claps her hands over her mouth, eyes wide at what she just let slip. You can't help but laugh at her. “S-shut up! Maybe Reimu's not even playing!”

“You've got the best poker face in existence, Star.”

“A-anyway! The other twelve are named as The Princess, The Dog, The Cup, The Queen, The Dolphin, The Demi-God, The Clock, The Hare, The Wolf, The Lyre, The Hunter, and The Hero. You're The Swift One.”

“Huh. Normally that'd be Aya.”

Star huffs and puffs out her cheeks. “Yeah but she's a stupid meaniehead that called me dumb in her paper. She doesn't get to play.”

You laugh internally, and scratch your head. “Well. I'm sorry I doubted you, Star. This sounds like a fun game. What's the extent of the wish, exactly?”

“Well...” she starts. “It's a fae contract-” She stops as she sees your eyes narrow angrily. “No, no! Not like that! Your half of the contract is just to win the game! Nothing else! I promise! In return, you get the super cool and magical powers that the three of us can muster up!”

Oh. Fairy-powered wish. So, aim small for your wish, then, you guess. “Which would be?”

Star thinks for a moment. “Well... I think we might be able to manage... godhood?”

Okay then. That's... significantly more power than you expected. “Star, are contracts like magical steroids for fairies?” She just looks at you blankly. “Do contracts allow you to use more power?”

She seems to have gotten that second bit. “Oh, yes! Lots of things I couldn't do alone I can do with a proper contract! And the three of us together, that's a lot of super cool magical power!” She hands you your key. It's made of polished steel.

You yawn again, and peer at it. While you're reading the inscription that says “Argo Navis” on it, you hear a familiar, unpleasant voice outside. “I know you're here, Swift One. Give me the key, or I will break you!”

It's Reimu. Star looks at you happily. “The game, as they say, is a foot!”

Afoot. Star.”

“That sounds dumb. That's not even a word.”

[ ] Go out to meet Reimu.
[ ] Sneak out of the house and try not to be seen.
[ ] Act like you're not home, and hide.
[ ] Write-in.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 06:24 No. 183211
[x] Sneak out of the house and try not to be seen.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 07:22 No. 183216
[X] Sneak out of the house and try not to be seen.

I'd vote for hiding and possibly ambushing Reimu, but her intuition and luck is sharp.

Anyway...let me try to guess who are the bearers of each constellation

The Princess: Kaguya
The Dog: Momiji
The Cup: I'd guess Sukuna but I'm not sure
The Queen: No Idea
The Dolphin: Wakasagi?
The Demi-God: Tenshi
The Clock: Sakuya
The Hare: Reisen
The Wolf: Kagerou
The Lyre: Either a Prismriver or one of the TH14 Tsukumogamis
The Hunter: Eirin?
The Hero: Reimu, duh

Who knows, I might be waaaaay off
2014/12/01 (Mon) 15:53 No. 183226
[X] Ignore Reimu. She isn't going to start trouble in the middle of the Tengu Village, the seat of Tengu power.
-[X] Make some breakfast for you and best fairy. Eat in plain view of Reimu.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 16:24 No. 183227
Wait a minute. Since Reimu already threatened Star, doesn't that mean that Reimu is already disqualified. In which case, we don't have to do anything since Reimu already lost.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 16:45 No. 183228
>>183227
Hence, my vote calling her insignificant.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 16:59 No. 183229
>>183227
>actually disqualifying Reimu

Something tells me a fairy miiiiight be possibly easily intimidated by Reimu.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 20:15 No. 183230
[X] Ignore Reimu.
-[X] Make some breakfast for you and best fairy. Eat in plain view of Reimu.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 20:51 No. 183232
[X] Ignore Reimu.
-[X] Make some breakfast for you and best fairy. Eat in plain view of Reimu.
2014/12/01 (Mon) 21:48 No. 183233
[X] Ignore Reimu. She isn't going to start trouble in the middle of the Tengu Village, the seat of Tengu power.
-[X] Make some breakfast for you and best fairy. Eat in plain view of Reimu.
2014/12/02 (Tue) 01:52 No. 183236
[X] Go out to meet Reimu.
- [X] Put up token resistance until she takes your key.

We agreed to participate. Doesn't mean we can't get ourselves knocked out right away and go back to our normal, everyday life.
2014/12/02 (Tue) 04:05 No. 183240
>>183236

That would be compleatly out of character. Did you not even read the previous update?
2014/12/02 (Tue) 20:16 No. 183258
Also, I did another thing, if you like Kirby music.

http://tindeck.com/listen/ossu
2014/12/03 (Wed) 01:19 No. 183263
[X] Sneak out of the house and try not to be seen.

Reimu please go.
2014/12/03 (Wed) 05:08 No. 183275
Calling it for
[X] Ignore Reimu. She isn't going to start trouble in the middle of the Tengu Village, the seat of Tengu power.
-[X] Make some breakfast for you and best fairy. Eat in plain view of Reimu.

I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A BEATDOWN
2014/12/04 (Thu) 21:10 No. 183331
Well, I'll be. Rabbit actually is writing a new story. Rabbit, just so you know: I may have missed the first few votes, but every single vote I make from now on will be directed towards having raunchy fairy-sex with Star, either blatantly or subtly, no matter how unlikely this actually is. I wil also deliberately insert typoes (like just now), for the sole purpose of spiting you.

EVERY. SINGLE. VOTE.

How does this make you feel?
2014/12/04 (Thu) 22:08 No. 183335
>>183331

That seems kinda silly, and not really conducive to getting a fulfilling CYoA experience. I mean yea...Star is best fairy; nobody is doubting that, but let's not get out of hand here.
2014/12/05 (Fri) 08:30 No. 183350
>>183331
Hey man, that's not a big deal with regards to either the deliberate typos (because deliberate typos have never actually bothered me, I mean, I know I deliberately typo things for effect on the internet quite a bit), and as far as fairy sex goes, well, I wrote a short of Reisen raping Luna, so, whatever, it might happen.

But don't you want to pair Hatate with one of the keyholders just to create a higher level of DESPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR wait hold on this is supposed to be a happier story
2014/12/05 (Fri) 10:05 No. 183356
[X] Ignore Reimu. She isn't going to start trouble in the middle of the Tengu Village, the seat of Tengu power.
-[X] Make some breakfast for you and best fairy. Eat in plain view of Reimu.

You scratch your side through your pajamas and yawn. “You want some breakfast, Star?”

She looks baffled again. “Aren't you going to fight Reimu? Get a second key?”

“Nah. I don't feel like getting my shit kicked in so early in the day. Waffles?” Star just stares at you. “I want waffles. I'm going to make some waffles.” You drop the key into your pocket, get up, and pad over to the kitchen.

Outside, you can hear Reimu shouting. “I swear to whatever god the tengu believe in that I will huff and I will puff and I will come in there and I will beat the shit out of you if you don't come out here right now!”

God, she's loud for this early in the morning.



Ten minutes later, you walk out onto your small porch, and put your plate of waffles on a wicker table. Reimu is outside, and she's still shouting. But then she notices you.

“Oh, morning, Hatate.”

You wave. “Bit early for you, isn't it, Reimu?” Normally she sleeps in if she can.

“Yeah, but today I've got a good reason. Gonna get me a wish.”

You cock an eyebrow and feign ignorance. “A wish?”

“Yeah, Star is running some stupid game where the end prize is a wish.”

“What are you going to wish for?”

Reimu laughs. “What else? I'm going to wish for people to stop bothering me with all their tiny little problems and maybe solve shit themselves once in a while.”

At this point, Star steps out of your house onto your porch, with her smaller plate of waffles and the bottle of syrup. “I, uh. Probably don't think I can grant that wish. That's awful vague, Reimu.”

Reimu frowns. “Well, shit. I guess I'll have plenty of time to think about and refine it, though.” She turns her back on you, and faces towards the house across the small square and garden. “I mean, I would love to have my wish granted, and I could, if SOMEBODY would come out and fight me for their key!”

The second-floor window of the house across the square opens, and a disheveled, black-haired tengu sticks her head out. “For the love of fuck, Reimu, go away, I'm trying to sleep!” Aya glares down at Reimu. “And I have no idea what this 'key' shit you're going on about is!”

Reimu crosses her arms and smirks. “Oh, I'm sure you don't. Just like I'm so absolutely certain that the 'Swift One' in the game isn't you.”

You take this moment to butt in. “That's confusing. So are you sure it's her or not?”

“Ugh. It's her. I'm sure. Fastest person in Gensokyo, who else could it be?”

“Go away.” Aya says, and shuts the window.

Reimu turns to you and Star, who are now sitting at the table, watching the show, and eating waffles. “It is her, right, Star?”

“I cathn't-” Star swallows her mouthful of waffle, and tries again. “I can't tell you, you know that.”

Reimu rolls her eyes. “God, I hate this 'investigation' and 'finding shit out' stuff. I just want to, you know, have a list of who I need to beat up to get my wish.”

[ ] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.
[ ] Encourage Reimu to serve her own version of a no-knock warrant.
[ ] Finish your breakfast and head out elsewhere.
[ ] Write-in.
2014/12/05 (Fri) 10:55 No. 183359
[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.
2014/12/05 (Fri) 11:42 No. 183360
[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.
2014/12/05 (Fri) 11:48 No. 183361
[X]Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you
[X]Get her drunk and steal her key
2014/12/05 (Fri) 16:14 No. 183362
[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.
2014/12/05 (Fri) 16:30 No. 183363
[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.

Oh wow, Aya is in for a rough day. If all of the other contestants assume it's her, we have a handy advantage.
2014/12/05 (Fri) 17:55 No. 183365
[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.

Well....if only it was mentioned somewhere that Hatate lives in the same house as Aya for the previous vote...
2014/12/05 (Fri) 18:02 No. 183366
>>183365

But...she doesn't live in the same house as Aya.

[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.
[X] I happen to know all of Aya's weak points. What say we form a temporary alliance?
2014/12/05 (Fri) 18:17 No. 183368
>>183366
Woops, my bad
2014/12/05 (Fri) 18:26 No. 183369
>>183366
By calling it a temporary alliance that's basically advertising "Hey, I have a key!"

Even if she still thinks Aya has the Argo Navis key, she'll immediately believe that we have another one, and proceed to take it.
2014/12/05 (Fri) 20:16 No. 183370
>>183369
Yeah, it would be better to just ask "out of curiosity" what she's talking about.
2014/12/06 (Sat) 01:30 No. 183377
[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.

Having breakfast with Star after she straddled Hatate in bed? Thigns are already going according to plan...
2014/12/06 (Sat) 01:50 No. 183378
Now, I wonder if Reimu is too dense to notice that Star being with Hatate and not with Aya must mean something
2014/12/06 (Sat) 02:23 No. 183380
>>183378

Oh shit. Guys....I think we dun goofed. Hopefully best fairy comes to our aid in our time of need.
2014/12/16 (Tue) 07:59 No. 183611
[X] Invite Reimu to have breakfast with you while you wait for Aya to come out of the house.

“I could just kick down her door,” Reimu mutters to herself. “Drag her crow ass out of the house and just pummel her until she gives up.”

You take a sip of coffee. “You know that the first thing she'd do if you kick down the door is run for it out the window.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don't want to chase her halfway across Gensokyo, that's for fuckin' sure.” Her eyes brighten with the light of an idea. “Hey, Hatate, you could catch her, couldn't you?”

You shrug. “Maybe. Maybe not. No guarantees. And like you just said, I don't want to chase her halfway across Gensokyo. Why not sit here, have breakfast with us, and wait for her to come out? Catch her by surprise and blast her with danmaku as she comes out, you know what I mean?”

Reimu nods to herself. “Yeah.” She nods again, more vigorously, as though trying to convince herself. “Yeah, that's a good idea. You got more waffles?”

You throw a thumb towards the door. “Kitchen's to the right as you go in, help yourself.”

As Reimu walks in, the window of the house across the street opens again, this time to reveal an actually-dressed Aya. “She gone?”

“Nope, just headed inside for waffles. I think she's going to camp out here and wait for you to come out.”

Aya runs a hand through her hair. “Jesus. You have any idea what she's going on about with the key thing?”

Yes, actually. “Nope, not a clue.”

“Hey,” Aya says. “You think you could do me a solid and distract her for a minute so I can leave?”

You laugh. “And have Reimu wanting to beat me up after she catches you? Nah, I think I'll pass.”

“Race traitor.”

“Says the girl who's probably got some guy from the Human Village in her bed right now.”

“I'll have you know I kicked him out an hour ago when I woke up. Told him to be gone before I was awake, and of course, no, he wakes up, expecting breakfast and maybe a blowjob. I told him to go get fucked.”

“Did he?”

“No, dumbass, I threw his clothes out the window. He's down in the front hall, bare-ass naked, trying to decide whether or not to make a run for it.” You look into the small square, and see a blacksmith's clothes hanging on a bush.

Star giggles as she imagines the poor man's plight. Not only does he have to go out in the Tengu Village, he has to do it under the watchful gaze of the two newspaper tengu, and now, to add insult to even more insult, Reimu's here too.

Poor guy.

Reimu comes out, one waffle in mouth, two more on the plate, and coffee mug in hand. On the side is printed “John Titor Time Travel Institute”, with a picture of the C204 Time Displacement Unit. “Hmmpf!” she shouts, and then takes the waffle out of her mouth. “Hey! You coming out of there anytime soon, Aya, or am I going to have to drag you out?”

Aya just sticks her tongue out at Reimu, and slams the window shut again.

“I'm going to enjoy beating the key out of her, I swear.”

Star giggles. “So why'd you pick Aya first, Reimu?”

She shrugs. “Her place was closest. Didn't want to go underground or deal with that godawful Bamboo Forest of the Lost. Hate that place. Bit of napalm would clean that right up.”

Reimu lowers herself into the last wicker chair, and sets her plate down. It's at that point that the door to Aya's place bursts open, and a figure dashes out. Reimu's reflexes are trained and extremely fast, and like a bolt of lightning, she's out of her chair, flying at...

Aya's fling from last night. As her momentum sends her flying into the hapless man, she gets tangled up in his flailing limbs. Aya takes this chance to run out the door, stick her tongue out at Reimu again, spread her great black wings, and soar off away from her house.

Reimu, red-faced and covered in syrup, throws the man off her bodily, and charges after Aya, a primal bellow of rage echoing off the hilltops.

You and Star are covered in syrup as well. Reimu's mad flight after Aya knocked your table over, spilling waffles, coffee, and syrup everywhere. Everywhere includes both you and Star. Thankfully, your Institute coffee mug is still intact. Meanwhile, the blacksmith meekly picks himself up, one hand in front to cover his crotch, and he runs awkwardly for his clothes.

When he grabs them, he dashes back into Aya's house, presumably to get dressed.

At least you were saving the shower for after breakfast.

You turn to Star. “I was going to see if I couldn't trick Reimu into doing the work for me, but...” You look up at the sky where the two of them dashed off to. “Bit late for that right now.”

High time you got started on collecting keys yourself, you think. Shower, and then you'll check out...

[ ] Eientei. If Lepus isn't one of the rabbits, you'll eat your hat, stupid puffball things and all.
[ ] The Human Village. Maybe someone will know something. Anything. Astronomy was never your strong suit.
[ ] Try to find Aya and Reimu. That fight promises to be entertaining at the very least, and if by some miracle Aya manages to win, you can probably nick Reimu's key.
[ ] Write-in.

yes I know exactly what write-ins are coming
2014/12/16 (Tue) 17:36 No. 183620
>>183611
ARE YOU FUCKING SURE

[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
2014/12/16 (Tue) 23:24 No. 183628
[x] Eientei. If Lepus isn't one of the rabbits, you'll eat your hat, stupid puffball things and all.

Might as well.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 00:32 No. 183634
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
[x] Eientei. If Lepus isn't one of the rabbits, you'll eat your hat, stupid puffball things and all.

The guy got kicked out naked and with no breakfast! That's the worst I say.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 00:33 No. 183636
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
- [x] Ask Star if she'd like to join you in the shower, to save time.

Now that obligatory Star shipping is out of the way...
2014/12/17 (Wed) 00:56 No. 183640
>>183636
TOLD YOU I FUCKING KNEW
2014/12/17 (Wed) 01:35 No. 183642
[x] Have Star join you in the shower
[x] Pick out one of those lovely new sweaters for yourself
[x] And one for Star, too


[x] Eientei. If Lepus isn't one of the rabbits, you'll eat your hat, stupid puffball things and all.

Because obviously the rabbit's going to be at Eientei. I... honestly can't think of where else it will be. Aslo, this is a good chance to stock up on aphrodisiacs. For reasons.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 02:44 No. 183643
[x] Momentarily consider showers with Star.
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
[x] The Human Village. Maybe someone will know something. Anything. Astronomy was never your strong suit.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 02:54 No. 183644
This contract business is pretty shady. I want some clarification.

[X] Ask Star to explaine why such an arbitrary thing gives her so much power. Since the items involved with this game are props, doesent that mean that any contract should give her power? For example...a business contract, or marriage contract? Why can't we just go find a dumber fairy to contract with, since his/her terms would be much easier.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 03:50 No. 183646
>>183644
I get the feeling that there's... trust issues, here.

What did I ever do to you? hue
2014/12/17 (Wed) 05:22 No. 183648
[X] The Human Village. Maybe someone will know something. Anything. Astronomy was never your strong suit.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 06:07 No. 183649
>>183646

Nah man I trust ya. It's just that there's gotta be more rules here that best fairy isn't telling us. I mean...as things stand now, coulden't Hatate just wish for a 1000 fairy wife harem, and then use the power the rusulting 1000 fairy contract to achive God-King of Time and Space status?

All I'm sayin is...there are some craft assholes in this world. If the fairies didn't have rules governing this sort of thing, it would only be a matter of time before some jerkface becomes God-King of Time and Space.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 07:33 No. 183650
[x] Ask Star if she'd like to join you in the shower, to save time.
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
[x] Eientei. If Lepus isn't one of the rabbits, you'll eat your hat, stupid puffball things and all.
2014/12/17 (Wed) 07:47 No. 183651
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start
Sure why not
2014/12/18 (Thu) 05:05 No. 183662
[x] Ask Star if she'd like to join you in the shower, to save time.
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
2014/12/19 (Fri) 18:01 No. 183681
[x] Ask Star if she'd like to join you in the shower, to save time
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
2014/12/20 (Sat) 03:50 No. 183686
[x] Ask Star if she'd like to join you in the shower, to save time.

"Hey Star, you wanna come and shower with me? You can lick the syrup off!"

"Do I ever!"

And then they fucked.

Update tonight, vote called for whatever's winning, I couldn't be arsed to count right now.
2014/12/20 (Sat) 07:53 No. 183687
[x] Ask Star if she'd like to join you in the shower, to save time
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
2014/12/20 (Sat) 16:41 No. 183692
...Okay, seriously, I put in the shower vote specifically to get it out of the way, not to have everyone choose it! Why is it that the first write-in that actually catches is the one I didn't mean to win?
2014/12/21 (Sun) 02:08 No. 183698
>>183692

You're the one who came up with such an amazing write-it. Next time, try to reign in your literary prowess so us lesser voters won't get drawn in like moths to an exceptionally nubile and cute flame.
2014/12/21 (Sun) 20:55 No. 183711
>>183692
People love to try these options just to see if the author has the guts to actually go through with it. Like the mana transfer choice.
2014/12/22 (Mon) 03:08 No. 183712
>>183711

Sometimes you gotta take a chance to get the really good stuff. Kinda like the;

[X] This girl...I'll be taking her

troll vote that spawned Ai ai Akyuu.
2014/12/23 (Tue) 06:11 No. 183736
>>183711
>has the guts

Nigga I have written so much fuckin' porn.

Reisen x Jellyfish
Reisen x Sanae
Reisen x Futa Mirror Reisen
Reisen x Luna Child
Reimu x Ruukoto x Suika
Yuuka x That Jellyfish
Eiki x Like Four People
Marisa x Mimi (a ballistic missile) x The Five Magic Stones
Akyu x Kosuzu
Reisen x Tewi x The Jellyfish, Again

There's some others too that aren't in that thread that I just couldn't be arsed to find.
2015/01/13 (Tue) 20:42 No. 183945
Is this going to continue? I like it.
2015/01/15 (Thu) 10:50 No. 183972
[x] Ask Star if she'd like to join you in the shower, to save time.
[x] Offer that poor soul some waffles; sounds like his day is off to a terrible start.
[x] Eientei. If Lepus isn't one of the rabbits, you'll eat your hat, stupid puffball things and all.
[x] Ask Star to explain why such an arbitrary thing gives her so much power. Since the items involved with this game are props, doesn't that mean that any contract should give her power? For example...a business contract, or marriage contract? Why can't we just go find a dumber fairy to contract with, since his/her terms would be much easier.

One thing comes to mind, and that's common courtesy. You can't leave that guy out in the lurch, with no breakfast. “Hey!” you shout.

There's no reply.

“Hey, dude, broheim, brocaloid!” Still no response. “Bromander Data!” Star groans at that last one.

The guy seems to have high-tailed it out the back way, or maybe he's just hiding inside the house, so as to not be seen by you. Makes sense, he kind of did get his shit pushed in, while naked.

You wouldn't want to face anyone after that either.

You shrug, and turn to Star. “Hey. You intending on going home all sticky?”

“I, uh, hadn't thought that far ahead. Things are kind of moving pretty quickly, you know?”

You scratch your head, and immediately wish you hadn't. You're just getting your syrupy hair to stick to your syrupy hand. “Yeah. Tell you what, you can use my shower.”



Five minutes later, the two of you are disrobed, and stepping into the tiled room that contains your shower.

Star turns on the tap, and starts filling a bucket, which she promptly dumps all over her head. “Much, much better already,” she says.

You sit down on the edge of the tub, and squirt a bit of shampoo in your hands. “No kidding. Get over here, I'll work the kinks out of your hair.”

She nods, and turns her back to you, leaning up on your legs. She's pretty light, but that's to be expected from a tiny fairy. “Thanks, Hatate.”

“Ain't no thang, Star.” You knead the shampoo into Star's hair, eliciting a pleased sigh and a lot of suds. “So I've got a couple questions for you.”

“Shoot,” she replies.

“Why do contracts give you fairies so much power?”

She turns her head to you and smiles. “How do you spell 'fairy', Hatate?”

“F-A-I-R-Y. Why?”

“Well, generally, most people spell that with only one Y, but I'll let that slide. Anyway, no. You're spelling it wrongly entirely. F-A-E-R-I-E, Hatate. There's a significant difference. Fairies flit about, acting like Tinkerbell, doing magic dust shit, and generally being brainless.”

Well, that describes a lot of fairies. You bite your tongue and try not to think about how fitting that description is for all the fairies you know.

“Then you have the fae. Faeries, as it were. Have you ever heard of a fae contract?”

“What, like in Grimm's Fairy Tales? Fairy godmother, glass slipper, pumpkin, midnight and all that?”

“Yes and no. The godmother was bound to Cinderella, allowing her to tap into fae magic. Which is different and separate from fairy magic- fae magic requires a bound partner.”

You stop kneading and think. “So what about marriage contracts, and business contracts, and whatnot?”

“Business contracts are right out. No magic there. Marriage contracts... well, for most, the magic has died. Sure, a good fae can squeeze out some magic from a marriage, but, well. More effort than it's worth, really.”

“Can any faerie get magic from contracts?”

Star shrugs, and you dump the refilled bucket over her head, to wash out the suds. “I guess. Takes a good knowledge of legalities and loopholes, so you don't get screwed over. Fae contracts, once made, can be broken by non-fae, but. Well. If I were to not uphold my end, at least to the letter, I'd have cut myself off from the spring of fae magic.” She pauses.

“Pretty sure that kills faeries.”

“Ouch,” you reply. “Scrub out my hair for me, would you?” You sit down in front of Star, and she undoes the knots in your hair with your shampoo. It's nice, really, to have someone else do that. Your scalp tingles as her delicate fingers knead your head. Shame you can't lean back on her. “So why couldn't I just, you know, talk to Cirno, get her to write up a contract, and get power by exploiting her admittedly loose grasp on rules?”

Star chuckles. “Well, there's several problems with that. Number one, why would she bother? She's got plenty of fairy magic to have no need to rely on the admittedly dangerous fae magic. Number two, you're underestimating her. Most faeries understand legalese and contractual wording at a fairly basic level. Sure, not everyone's a magical lawyer, but most are better at it than laymen. Number three, it's a lot of effort. I only got Sunny and Luna to help me out because I said it'd be fun.

“Also, they're delighted with the opportunity to be the ones to grant the wish, if they're the ones talked to. Sunny in particular loves monkey's paw styled wishes.”

“So how much power does this give you?”

She shrugs, and runs her fingers down the length of your hair. “Depends on the contract and the contracted party. Since there's three contractors and thirteen contracted, there's a decent well of power here to tap into. I think you're reading too much into this, Hatate. Fae contracts are an art, not a science.”

She dumps a bucket of cold water on your head, and goosebumps and a shiver flow down your body, from your scalp to your nipples and your toes. “Aagh!” you gasp. “You couldn't use the warm water?!”

“I didn't know which knob was which!”

“There's only one knob! It has a slider! You literally had to move it to make it cold!”



You wave to Star as she flies off, to do fairy things, or faerie things, whatever. It's not important. What is important is that you get collecting yourself some keys.

And that means going to Eientei.

God, you really hope Lepus isn't her.



As you alight in front of the Eientei Mansion in the depths of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, not a soul is in sight. The only sound is the rhythmic thunking of the, uh. What was it called again? Shishi something? The water bamboo thing that goes doink.

Obviously, this is a trap.

[ ] Call out for Eirin
[ ] Call out for Mokou
[ ] Call out for Kaguya
[ ] Call out for Reisen
[ ] Call out for Tewi
2015/01/15 (Thu) 12:00 No. 183974
[X] Call out for Reisen
2015/01/15 (Thu) 12:16 No. 183975
[X] Call out for Mokou

Pretty sure she's always up for storming Eientei.
2015/01/15 (Thu) 16:26 No. 183979
[X] Call out for Eirin

I'm guessin there;s lots of traps set up around the place. If we stay close to Eirin, she probably has the perception score needed to immediately see/avoid them.

I mean...it's just my personal head-cannon, but I think Reisen/Mokou/Kaguya probably fall for that shit all the time.
2015/01/16 (Fri) 00:40 No. 183982
[x] Call out for Tewi
git lucky
2015/01/16 (Fri) 02:40 No. 183983
Nice job with the damage control exposition BTW. I feel satisfied now.
2015/01/16 (Fri) 02:45 No. 183984
[X] Call out for Kaguya

There. Now we have one vote for everybody.
2015/01/16 (Fri) 03:45 No. 183985
>>183159
>Wish granting fairy.


Hang on a fucking second...

Either I'm rusty or I can only remember one particular fairy that could do that by Touhou lore, and it wasn't exactly a nice fairy either, given it's previous occupation.
2015/01/16 (Fri) 04:56 No. 183986
>>183985
More explanation? I'm drawing a blank on that and don't feel like trawling the wiki.
2015/01/16 (Fri) 06:25 No. 183987
>>183986

The Wish-Granting Fairy from an ending of Touhou 1: Highly Responsive to Prayers is what they're talking about.
2015/01/16 (Fri) 16:47 No. 183991
>>183985

Jeez man, cut Rabbit some slack. Don't antagonize the guy to the point if madness or, even worse, delaying more updates coming up with more wizard bullshit.
2015/01/16 (Fri) 17:12 No. 183993
[x] Call out for Tewi
2015/01/16 (Fri) 17:36 No. 183994
[x] Call out for Tewi
2015/01/17 (Sat) 02:30 No. 183995
>>183991
>Don't antagonize the guy to the point if madness

Nigga that ain't nothin'. Believe you me, if I've got a problem with someone posting, I'll let them know. Loudly. In all caps.

>delaying more updates coming up with more wizard bullshit.

Well, there are two things that delayed this update. Elite, and making this: http://tindeck.com/listen/ossu
2015/01/19 (Mon) 10:40 No. 184007
[x] Call out for Tewi

“Hey! Tewi!” you shout. “I know you're around here somewhere just waiting for me to stumble into your trap!”

Silence.

“Look, I'll just fly over the pits that you've dug, and then all of your work will be for nothing.”

“No it won't!” a voice shouts to you from a distance. “Other people can fall in that! I've got something special for crows!”

“Well, what is it?”

“I'm not going to just tell you! But you've ruined the surprise,” she says, as she steps out of a bush behind you. You whirl in surprise as she appears behind you- a short, brown-haired girl with floppy white bunny ears.

“But I heard you all the way over there!” you say, pointing off past the mansion.

“Oh, that?” She smiles. “I can throw my voice. Really well.”

“Yeah. I'm sure,” you say. “Probably had Reisen helping you out.” And just like that, Reisen is standing next to you, arm on your shoulder, grinning smugly.

“Told you she'd give me credit where credit is due, Tewi,” she says.

Tewi sniffs disdainfully, and crosses her arms. “So what brings you here?” She snaps her fingers. “You're probably here for the key. Probably Lepus' key. And you came here because we're rabbits and you're a racist.”

“I'm not a racist!”

“Sure you're not,” Reisen replies. “Of course you wouldn't immediately assume that the holder of Lepus' key has to be a rabbit. Just like you wouldn't immediately assume that the holder of Canis' key is Kyouko. Or Momiji. Racist.”

“Hey,” Tewi says. “Speaking of Momiji, you didn't happen to find out if she has a key, did you? That'd really help to narrow it down for us.”

“If I had, why would I tell you?” you reply.

Tewi pokes you in the cheek. “Duh, because you came here to give us your key. Argo Navis, I assume?”

“How did you know?!” you reply, shocked.

“Because of several reasons. Number one, you're as fast as Aya, and she hasn't come here shouting about keys and suchlike with a complete lack of subtlety. Number two, because you reacted like that. Number three-” and she gestures to Reisen, spinning her key around her outstretched index finger.

“Number three,” Reisen continues, “is because you had it in your pocket. Which was boring. I didn't even get to reach down your cleavage to get it.”

You snatch at the key, but Reisen dances away. She won't get lucky a second time- because you dash at her at full speed, and with only a few feet distancing the two of you, you'll be on her before she can blink-

And suddenly you find yourself upside-down in a classic snare trap. Your hands immediately fly to your skirt to preserve what little dignity you have at the moment.

Reisen's just smiling up at you, continuing to spin your key around her finger, while Tewi is doubled over in raucous laughter. “I can't believe that worked! Come on, Hatate! A snare trap? How bad can you get?!”

Dark thoughts start to creep in from the corners of your mind. They have your key now. But only now.

They have to sleep eventually, you think, and you glare at Tewi. Her eyes meet yours, and the mirth drains out, just a bit, as she sees the gears working. She rolls her eyes, and gestures to Reisen. Reisen tosses the key back to you, and you catch it, clutching it to your chest with one hand, and still struggling with your skirt with your other.

Reisen leans on a nearby tree, content to just watch as Tewi moves into the center of your field of vision, and sits down. “Now, I've got a proposal for you. As you can see, we tricked you and stripped you of your key, with ease.”

You just glare at her some more.

She affects a wounded expression, one hand on her chest, the other thrown wide. “You wound me, Hatate! Surely you don't think your good friend Tewi would betray you!”

“We're not friends,” you reply, chopping off the last word abruptly. You're still pissed at being trapped and tricked so easily. Pissed at yourself, pissed at them.

Tewi lets her arms slump to her sides, and she looks genuinely sad for a moment. “Ouch. That one actually did hurt, Hatate. Just because a wish is on the line is no reason to forget your friends.”

“So, friend.” you say, malicious emphasis on the second word, “which one of you's the keyholder?”

“I am,” Tewi says. “Brought Reisen on board first thing, because, you know, useful, what with those eyes of hers and the grand fun of illusionary powers.” She reaches inside the front of her dress, and draws out... a golden key.

“Gold?” you say. “You got a gold key and all I got was a stainless steel key?”

“Yeah... About that. It's chocolate wrapped in gold foil. Apparently Star thought Easter was a real funny thing with rabbits and all that. I'll give this to you... on two conditions.”

“I smell another trick here, Tewi.”

She spreads her arms wide, and smiles. “No trick. The conditions are pretty simple. You see, I don't need magic to make my wish come true.”

“So what are your conditions?”

“Real simple. Number one, you keep this key somewhere more secure. I mean, holy shit, Hatate, in your pocket? You're just asking to be robbed. Or mugged and robbed. That's bad. For both of us, at this point.”

“And the second?”

“Well, I, uh...” Tewi blushes, and you can hear Reisen laugh. “S-shut up, Reisen!” Tewi looks up to face you. “I- that is, you, uh. You need to make my wish come true.”

“What's the wish?”

“I wan- i-it's a secret, okay?! I'll tell you... soon.” Her voice trails off into muttering. You, however, have a pretty good idea of what her wish is. And you're trying your hardest not to laugh. You're doing a better job of it than Reisen, though, what with her still laughing and Tewi glaring daggers at her. Which only makes her laugh harder.

Well. What do you do?

[ ] Accept her two conditions.
[ ] Accept her conditions, but plan to do absolutely nothing about the second. You don't want to hitch yourself to this crazy train.
[ ] Decline the conditions. You can do this on your own, with no help from a lovestruck bunny.
[ ] Write-in.
2015/01/19 (Mon) 12:52 No. 184008
[x] Accept her two conditions.

Some crows have all the luck.
2015/01/19 (Mon) 13:15 No. 184009
[x] Accept her two conditions.

Aww. How cute. Wonder what Tewi wants? A kiss? Some sweet lovin'? An erotic dance from Hatate? Either way, I have a new crack pairing.
2015/01/19 (Mon) 14:32 No. 184010
[X] Accept her two conditions.

A wish that Tewi doesnt need magic to make it come true? Interesting
2015/01/19 (Mon) 16:21 No. 184012
[x] Accept her two conditions.

This is totally a voter trap and we're going to moonwalk right into it.
2015/01/19 (Mon) 17:21 No. 184013
[x] Accept her two conditions.
2015/01/19 (Mon) 18:18 No. 184014
[x] Accept Banki's two conditions.
2015/01/19 (Mon) 18:45 No. 184015
>>184012

Haha this motherfucker gets it. She can totally make us wish for whatever SHE wants should Hatate emerge from this victorious.

Her wish could literally be anything from "Give me a kiss" to "give me both keys and pledge your body and mind to helping me get the others"

That being said, I'm still moonwalkin at sanic speed since Tewi a cute.

[x] Accept her two conditions.
2015/01/20 (Tue) 00:13 No. 184016
[x] Accept her two conditions.

You have written one of the most trustworthy sounding Tewi's I remember. Now the question becomes if we really should trust her.
2015/01/20 (Tue) 02:29 No. 184017
>>184015

As an addendum to my "Tewi a cute" rational; Tewi, being several thousand years old, is quite possibly the oldest and strongest youkai in Gensokyo. At this point, there's really no way to even fathom the extent her luck powers have developed to. Thus our only option here is to play whatever game she came up with.
2015/01/21 (Wed) 12:25 No. 184027
[x] Accept her two conditions, but make one of your own - You might need some help down the line
2015/01/21 (Wed) 19:33 No. 184028
[x] Accept her two conditions.
2015/02/02 (Mon) 06:43 No. 184077
I suspect Tewi wishes for her body to develop into that of a glorious maiden with oppai befitting a lady of her age and roguish demeanor.

I support this wholeheartedly

[X] Accept her two conditions.
2015/02/04 (Wed) 09:28 No. 184082
[x] Accept her two conditions.

This is going to end in tears.
2015/04/27 (Mon) 06:15 No. 184334
I was discussing this on IRC and it was brought to my attention that I never actually posted what I was doing with this story here.

So.

I have good news and bad news for readers of this story. Bad news: this story's dead, Jim. Much like my posting on THP seems to be of late. Good news: I'm totally stealing this idea for MUH ORIGINAL STORY THE BOOK. No, really. I think I've improved enough here that I can strike out to writing original fiction. AND maybe even have it not suck. Thanks to you guys.

(also I'm totally still writing things for the short story contest, suggestions and ideas for crossovers welcome, I will do my best to fuck it all up)
2015/04/27 (Mon) 08:43 No. 184335
>>184334
eh it's /th/, where stories die all the time. You had the decency to tell us the fact.
2015/04/27 (Mon) 13:00 No. 184336
I'm disappointed, but at least you picked an early enough spot to cut it off.
2015/04/27 (Mon) 15:19 No. 184337
>>184334
Using the skills here to make a book is par per course. I just hope you actually finish it.

Thanks for letting us know.
2015/04/27 (Mon) 15:55 No. 184338
Can you tell us what Tewi's wish was?
2015/04/27 (Mon) 18:49 No. 184340
Well at least we actually finished the story, and were just at the epilogue. Oh well.
2015/04/27 (Mon) 18:55 No. 184341
>>184338
She wanted you to hook her up with Aya. What, you thought she was into you?

>>184340
A massive success, I'll say.
2015/04/27 (Mon) 20:14 No. 184344
>>184341
Nah, I was pretty sure that's what it was.
2015/05/01 (Fri) 00:48 No. 184348
>>184334
Where can I read your original fiction do not steal
2018/02/03 (Sat) 15:56 No. 198595
Hello, person reading the archives. Isn't it sad that this story had to end before it began? I believe so. Maybe someone in your timeline will take it upon themselves to finish what was started, even if it's not in the exact same form. One can hope. Live strong, future THP.
2018/02/03 (Sat) 17:34 No. 198596
>>198595
You don't have to address the future when there's plenty of us still stuck in the past even though we're in the present.