It was a nice, Saturday afternoon. And you were sitting comfortably in front of your computer.
It might be a bit hasty, but you had somehow find yourself with quite a significant amount of disposable income.
You were thinking of getting something nice for yourself, so you opened your browser and went to an auction site.
After surfing for half an hour, you found a few items that caught your interest.
You could only afford one, though.
So you picked;
[ ] A swiss army knife,
[ ] Bulletproof smartphone casing.
[ ] Bulletproof wristwatch.
[ ] A Mossin-Nagant.
[ ] A knife called 'The Skallcleaver'.
[ ] An authentic replica of Abraham Lincoln's longcoat.
[ ] A baseball cap with gothic design and the word 'SIN' boldly embroidered on it.
[ ] An automatic sunglasses that goes dark every time it's exposed to a blinding light.
[ ] A red crowbar.
[ ] A white helmet leftover from a British motorshow.
[ ] An authentic replica of Teddy Roosevelt's shotgun.
[ ] A steel toed boots.
[ ] An electric cigarette,
[ ] An Ipod.
[ ] A silver knuckles.
[ ] An authentic replica of George Washington's woodaxe.
[ ] An unbreakable umbrella.
[ ] A bisque doll.
[ ] Chuck Norris' old hat.
[ ] A supposedly cursed knife of Mpu Gandring.
[ ] An authentic replica of Barrack Obama's sacrificial dagger.
No. 179636
[X] An unbreakable umbrella. |
No. 179637
I'm torn between umbrella and doll. I guess I'll go with |
No. 179638
[X] A red crowbar. With " Property of Black Mesa" engraved on its length. |
No. 179639
I can already tell this is going to be a trainwreck. |
No. 179640
[X] A baseball cap with gothic design and the word 'SIN' boldly embroidered on it. |
No. 179641
[x] 1943 Ishevek Mosin-Nagant M44. |
No. 179642
[X] An authentic replica of Abraham Lincoln's longcoat. |
No. 179643
[X] A red crowbar. With " Property of Black Mesa" engraved on its length. |
No. 179644
[x] An unbreakable umbrella |
No. 179646
[X] An unbreakable umbrella. |
No. 179647
[x] A white helmet leftover from a British motorshow. |
No. 179648
[x] A white helmet leftover from a British motorshow. |
No. 179649
>>179647 |
No. 179650
[X] A white helmet leftover from a British motorshow. |
No. 179652
[x] An adorkable unbreakable umbrella. |
No. 179653
[X] A white helmet leftover from a British motorshow. |
No. 179655
[ ] An unbreakable umbrella. |
No. 179656
[X] A white helmet leftover from a British motorshow. |
No. 179657
Calling it for the umbrella. |
No. 179665
You are sitting comfortably on your sofa, in your well lit living room. |
No. 179666
[x]Approach |
No. 179668
[x]Approach |
No. 179669
>>179666 |
No. 179671
>>179669 |
No. 179672
[x] Ambush |
No. 179673
[X] Approach |
No. 179674
[X] Ambush |
No. 179676
>>179671 |
No. 179679
I would probably going for daily short updates here, so I'll just call it for ambush. |
No. 179681
>>179669 |
No. 179685
You decided that this is a good opportunity to test your newly acquired umbrella. |
No. 179692
[X ] "Gentlemen." *Ocular stab-ation.* |
No. 179695
[x] Wait, stalk, and see? maybe you can get more information about what exactly going on if you tail these guys for a while. |
No. 179697
[x] Wait, stalk, and see? maybe you can get more information about what exactly going on if you tail these guys for a while. |
No. 179699
[x] Wait, stalk, and see? maybe you can get more information about what exactly going on if you tail these guys for a while. |
No. 179700
[x] Await confirmation of hostility towards the girl, if so, engage immediatly. |
No. 179704
[X] Wait, stalk, and see? maybe you can get more information about what exactly going on if you tail these guys for a while. |
No. 179705
[x] Wait, stalk, and see? maybe you can get more information about what exactly going on if you tail these guys for a while. |
No. 179706
[x] Wait, stalk, and see? maybe you can get more information about what exactly going on if you tail these guys for a while. |
No. 179710
Calling for stalk. |
No. 179713
You have decided to wait and see. |
No. 179715
[x]Quick and painless |
No. 179721
[X] Be patient... 2 3 5 7 11 13 17 19 23 29 31 37 41 43 47 53 59 61 67 71.... |
No. 179722
[x] Be patient... 2 3 5 7 11 13 17 19 23 29 31 37 41 43 47 53 59 61 67 71.... |
No. 179723
[x] Be patient... 2 3 5 7 11 13 17 19 23 29 31 37 41 43 47 53 59 61 67 71.... |
No. 179724
>[ ] A Mossin-Nagant. |
No. 179725
[x] quick and painless |
No. 179726
[x] Be patient... 2 3 5 7 11 13 17 19 23 29 31 37 41 43 47 53 59 61 67 71.... |
No. 179727
[x] Be patient... 2 3 5 7 11 13 17 19 23 29 31 37 41 43 47 53 59 61 67 71.... |
No. 179728
>A badass is you |
No. 179729
>>179713 |
No. 179731
Calling it for 'being patient', and i think I might just found a way for our MC to be able to 'call the police' while still being badass. |
No. 179734
And there goes your laptop. |
No. 179735
[X] Male. |
No. 179736
[X] Male. |
No. 179737
[x] Female. |
No. 179740
[X] Male. |
No. 179741
[x] Female. |
No. 179742
[X] Male. |
No. 179743
[x] Male. |
No. 179745
[x] Male. |
No. 179746
[x] Male. |
No. 179748
[X] Male |
No. 179757
[x] Male. |
No. 179758
You have been awarded the prestigious "Spirit Of The Vote" award for your faithful dedication to the will of the people. To divine that when the people said "be patient and call the police", they meant "Beat up two innocent police officers and steal their car" displays a remarkable level of insight and a deep ability to understand and relate to your voters. I hope your writing continues to display this level of excellence. |
No. 179759
[X] Male. |
No. 179760
>>179758 |
No. 179762
Bah, fuck you both. |
No. 179764
Everyone seems to ignore that the writing isn't even that good. Not only that, but it's obviously riding off the boner everyone has for Wizard. I mean, really? Couldn't even come up with an original title? |
No. 179765
>>179764 |
No. 179767
>>179764 |
No. 179768
>>179764 |
No. 179769
>>179760 |
No. 179771
>>179764 |
No. 179774
It's already 10 minutes past since you assaulted two police officers near your home and left them on the middle of the street. |
No. 179775
[x] Separate. Only idiots want to go face to face with a United States anti-terror squad. |
No. 179776
[x] Stick close near the van, and let the police concentrate their resources. |
No. 179777
[X] Stick close near the van, and let the police concentrate their resources. |
No. 179778
[x] Stick close near the van, and let the police concentrate their resources. |
No. 179782
[x] Stick close near the van, and let the police concentrate their resources. |
No. 179786
[x] Stick close near the van, and let the police concentrate their resources. |
No. 179788
[x] Stick close near the van, and let the police concentrate their resources. |
No. 179789
>>179788 |
No. 179791
>>179788 |
No. 179802
>>179791 |
No. 179807
what's a double terrorist? |
No. 179808
>>179807 |
No. 179809
>>179808 |
No. 179811
CLANG! |
No. 179812
Hmm, decisions decisions, |
No. 179813
I laughed at the write-in biting us in the ass. |
No. 179814
[x] Floor it! |
No. 179818
[x] Floor it! |
No. 179821
[x] Floor it! |
No. 179823
I've decided to make some crude illustrations in MSpaint to give you guys a better picture of what is/has going on so far, since I know that my descriptive prowess is kind of lacking. You might want to consult to it once in a while, since I'm going to make new illustration every times we'll need to make a tactical vote. What do you think? |
No. 179828
[X] YOLO |
No. 179830
[x] YOLO |
No. 179831
>>179823 |
No. 179832
[x] YOLO |
No. 179833
Calling it. |
No. 179835
Some of you surprisingly forget that we have guns. |
No. 179836
[X]I'm Margaret Tatcher, and I WANT MY LAPTOP BACK ! |
No. 179837
[x] I'm The Badass who just saved you, Sweet-Cheeks. |
No. 179838
[X] I'm Smoke Manmuscle, and I just want my goddamn laptop back. Also, why were you in my bathroom? |
No. 179839
[X] I'm The Badass who just saved you, Sweet-Cheeks. |
No. 179840
[x] I'm Smoke Manmuscle, and I just want my goddamn laptop back. Also, why were you in my bathroom? |
No. 179841
[x] I'm Smoke Manmuscle, and I just want my goddamn laptop back. Also, why were you in my bathroom? |
No. 179842
Also, I'm just going to assume those two helicopters were recalled to airlift the RPG survivors to a hospital. |
No. 179846
>>179842 |
No. 179847
>>179835 |
No. 179848
[X] I'm The Badass who just saved you, Sweet-Cheeks. |
No. 179849
>>179835 |
No. 179850
>>179849 |
No. 179851
[x] I'm the Badass who just saved you, Sweet-Cheeks. Also, why were you in my bathroom? |
No. 179852
[x] These men took away something precious to me. I'm just passing through to take it back. You do whatever you want. I don't care. |
No. 179853
>>179851 |
No. 179854
[x] Welcome to América, sorry for the mess |
No. 179855
>>179849 |
No. 179856
>>179855 |
No. 179858
>>179856 |
No. 179859
[x] Welcome to América, sorry for the mess. |
No. 179860
You look upon the clear dark sky, with no hovering searchlights in sight. |
No. 179862
>>179855 |
No. 179863
[x] Administer treatment. |
No. 179864
[X] A pharmaceutical company. |
No. 179866
[X] A pharmaceutical company. |
No. 179867
>>179866 |
No. 179868
[X] A pharmaceutical company. |
No. 179869
[X] A pharmaceutical company. |
No. 179870
Calling it. Maybe. I'm feeling a bit tired. |
No. 179871
[Deus Ex Jensen line here] |
No. 179873
Pic related. |
No. 179874
[X] You have a perfectly good armored van right next to you. Be sure to stay out of sight though. And sweep for trackers later. |
No. 179875
[X] Those fools at the Education and Training Inspectorate would dare defy me like this? My vengeance will be swift. |
No. 179877
What would I say? |
No. 179878
[X] You have a perfectly good armored van right next to you. Be sure to stay out of sight though. And sweep for trackers later. |
No. 179879
If it's aimed at the PDA, we should probably throw it before jumping in the van. |
No. 179880
[x] You have a perfectly good armored van right next to you. Be sure to stay out of sight though. And sweep for trackers later. |
No. 179881
[X] You have a perfectly good armored van right next to you. Be sure to stay out of sight though. And sweep for trackers later. |
No. 179883
8 seconds is not enough time to do, well, almost anything. |
No. 179884
[x]SPAS-12 |
No. 179885
[X] Start the engine and run. |
No. 179886
[x] Start the engine and run |
No. 179887
[X] Start the engine and run. |
No. 179888
Are any of those gun options a pistol? Because it sounds like it need's to be fired while driving. |
No. 179889
>>179883 |
No. 179890
>>179888 |
No. 179892
[x] Start the engine. |
No. 179893
[X] Start the engine and run. |
No. 179910
Whatever is that thing you are looking at, there is one thing that you are sure of. That just sitting here and waiting is more than likely to get you thoroughly murdered. |
No. 179912
>>179910 |
No. 179913
>>179912 |
No. 179916
[X] C4. Ten seconds. Toss it in and hope for the best |
No. 179922
>>179916 |
No. 179923
[Y] C4 |
No. 179924
[X] So...if it has human hands it might have other human traits. Try asking the Hand Demon to give us a few minutes to get our laptop and girlfriend to safety before resuming our fight to the death. |
No. 179927
>>179924 |
No. 179928
>>179927 |
No. 179930
>>179928 |
No. 179931
>>179928 |
No. 179932
>>179930 |
No. 179933
You notice that the creature, whatever the Lovecraft it is, actually has two forms. One that is solid, and one that is not. |
No. 179934
[x] Call your dead father |
No. 179935
[X] In the city behind the suppository and tampon store. It was made to be the last place anyone would ever look, after all. |
No. 179939
[X] Your most trusted friend/co-worker. |
No. 179945
[X] Your most trusted co-worker. |
No. 179952
>>179933 |
No. 179954
[x] Call your father |
No. 179956
[X] Your most trusted co-worker. |
No. 179957
I need to prepare for exam. Would you be patient? |
No. 179968
>>179956 |
No. 179976
You know, refering to the girl as simply 'the girl' starts to feel a little awkward after a while. Maybe you should come up with a temporary nickname, at least until you figure out her real name. |
No. 179977
[X] Sweet Cheeks, because her face is adorable. |
No. 179978
>>179976 |
No. 179979
[x] Sweet Cheeks, because her face is adorable. |
No. 179981
[X] Sweet Cheeks, because her face is adorable. |
No. 179992
"Senpai?" |
No. 180001
[X] Ditch the van near the edge of the city. |
No. 180004
[ ] Hitchike. |
No. 180005
[X] Ditch the van near the edge of the city. |
No. 180015
I hate every element in this story, But I love the story itself; does that make sense? Anyway, keep it up writefag. |
No. 180018
>>180015 |
No. 180026
[x] ditch the van |
No. 180027
>>180018 |
No. 180040
The fifth street, located near the edge of the city, is, for the lack of better term, a shithole. |
No. 180042
[x] Eh, sure. |
No. 180043
[X] Eh, sure. |
No. 180046
[ ]We're friends, right? Just use my name. Smoke Manmuscle. |
No. 180050
[X]We're friends, right? Just use my name. Smoke Manmuscle. |
No. 180051
[X] Eh, sure. |
No. 180056
[X] Eh, sure. |
No. 180079
You walk out of the apothecary with a box full of tampons in hand. |
No. 180082
[X] Research and Development. |
No. 180084
[x] Research Clients Maintenance. |
No. 180088
[X] Research and Development. |
No. 180093
[x] |
No. 180095
Requesting tie-breaker. |
No. 180098
[X] Research and Development. |
No. 180107
"Alright. We'll go to the HQ." you declared. |
No. 180111
[X] Go straight to the operating table. |
No. 180119
[x] Pass Sweet Cheeks to Jensen and check inside your office. |
No. 180242
[x] Go straight to the operating table. |
No. 180243
[x] Pass Sweet Cheeks to Jensen and check inside your office. |
No. 180245
Well, there are a lot of important files inside the shelves in your office. A little bit of checking shouldn't hurt. It's probably nothing anyway, maybe you're just that forgetful. |
No. 180246
Obligatry option... |
No. 180247
[X] Why haven't I been told? |
No. 180248
[X] Why haven't I been told? |
No. 180249
[X] Hey! Having an intern around would be nice! |
No. 180253
[x] I never asked for this |
No. 180366
[X] I never asked for this. |
No. 180534
There are dozens of questions running through your head right now. |
No. 180535
[X] Whoa whoa! Bad touch! Bad touch! |
No. 180536
>>180534 |
No. 180537
[X] Whoa whoa! Bad touch! Bad touch! |
No. 180539
[x]>>180536 |
No. 180540
What wat? |
No. 180608
>>180534 |
No. 180612
[X] Whoa whoa! Bad touch! Bad touch! |
No. 180650
-[X] "Subaru, you need to take a look at this thing! It's incredible! Look at how the *insert technobable here* reacts when stimulated, almost like it's alive!" |
No. 180709
[x] Call security and have her detained. She's clearly a Chinese robot, sent to simultaneously commit corporate espionage and steal American jobs! |
No. 180710
What. |
No. 180946
You are upside down. |
No. 180948
[X] |
No. 180949
[x] You need to seek the intern and apologize, before something undesirable happened. |
No. 180953
[x] You need to seek the intern and apologize, before something undesirable happened. |
No. 180973
[x] It is imperative that you get a shirt on, and maybe take a bath. |
No. 180976
[x] You need to seek the intern and apologize, before something undesirable happened. |
No. 180996
>>180946 |
No. 180998
[x] You need to find the intern and |
No. 181011
-Fuck sleep! Caffeine! |
No. 181013
...and promptly realized how awkward it is not to know the MC's name in an office setting where everyone has known you for ten years. |
No. 181014
[X] Smoke Manmuscle |
No. 181015
[X] Smoke Manmuscle |
No. 181016
[x] Mr. Baudauss |
No. 181017
>>181015 |
No. 181018
[X] Smoke Manmuscle |
No. 181020
[x] John McClane |
No. 181021
[X] Smoke Manmuscle |
No. 181022
[x] Mr. McClane |
No. 181023
So...you guys picked the 'trap' bodytype for the MC and then choose to name him 'Mr.Manmuscle'? |
No. 181025
>>181023 |
No. 181026
>>181025 |
No. 181027
>>181013 |
No. 181028
So... |
No. 181031
>>181028 |
No. 181032
>>181028 |
No. 181033
>>181028 |
No. 181034
>>181028 |
No. 181035
>>181025 |
No. 181036
Wait, no... |
No. 181037
Suddenly we reached autosage without me realizing. |
No. 181041
I for one vote that A Badass is You is quite to the point. Honestly, you know more about it than we do. We hardly have enough to go off of to actually give it a proper name. I vote that you name it something that vaguely hints at the overarching plot, without being obvious. It's what I would do. |
No. 181042
Good point. |
No. 181043
Maybe each new thread could be named after a different popular Touhou fanfic with one word replaced by Badass? |
No. 181046
Well. Let's just say the introduction chapter went longer than I expected. |
No. 181048
>>181016 |
No. 181049
Say, what would make a good james bond title? |
No. 181050
>>181049 |
No. 181051
[X] "The Girl From Inside My Bathroom" |
No. 181052
I'll just leave this here in case any of you interested in beating the crap out of someone with a titanium umbrella: |
No. 181056
Next thread: |