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176709 No. 176709
“Okie-dokie!” you say, without the slightest hint of hesitation in your voice. After all, it seemed clear to you exactly what she meant by 'sleep' in this case, and it almost certainly wasn't anything that could possibly go wrong in some horrible yet entirely foreseeable way.

Your willingness to go along with her wishes seems to please the girl laying upon you. Or, at least, you assume that's what her giggling means as she wiggles herself off of you, and continues to giggle as she steps out of your field of vision, only to return moments later holding a large, somewhat dented, and vaguely clock-shaped object in her hands.

An object that she was now holding directly over your head.

An object that she had been holding directly over your head.

An object that was now falling right towa




falling away away away away

fall fall fall fall fall fall fall

fall fall fall fall fall

fall fall fall



[ ] Red

[ ]

[ ] Blue

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No, that is not a Koishi option

>> No. 176711
[ ] Flesh-colored and vaguely penis-shaped

>> No. 176712
[x] Blue

Yeah, I'm going to go with the safer of the two.
>> No. 176713
[X] Blue

What a charming lass that one.
Let's avoid the river of blood this time, shall we?
>> No. 176718

Mindfuck is always an option. Always.
>> No. 176719
[X] Blue

Well. Quite a way to start off a new thread.
>> No. 176720
[x] Blue
This guys spends 51% of his life unconscious
>> No. 176725
[x] vs.

Seems like a natural in between option.
>> No. 176735
AUGH SONOFABITblrghblrble...”

Making impact with the water in what would have to be the most ungraceful and painful belly-flop in recorded history, you can't help but shudder at the thought of how much more painful your landing would have been if you had taken off your clothes like any other person would before diving into a large body of water.

Also, the cold. That is also a reason for you to be shuddering and shivering the way you were at this moment. It is also a very good reason to get out of this water as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, the weight of your clothes seem to be making that particular task a tad more difficult to accomplish than you would expect. Even though you are already more than half-way to your destination, you find it harder and harder to ignore the little voice in the back of your mind that is telling you to simply stop and rest for a little while. Even though you know it would be a bad idea, it just keeps getting more and more insistent. It's so cold, after all. So cold, and you are so tired, and the shore is still so far away, and it would be so much easier if you just let yourself rest for just a a la aiaallaa allalaaaaaa


think rest

rest sleep
sleepy sleep sleep sleep


The last thing you feel as the world goes dark is the sensation of something pulling you upward.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Garkpthlpgle!” you sputter, coughing up an alarming large amount of what you can only hope is water. Though you have no idea how you managed to make your way to dry land, you were currently more concerned about whether or not you had just coughed up a small fish or two just now. Unable to see any sign of flapping in the grass around you, however, you assume you were just imagining things, and begin to look around to get your bearings.

From the darkening of the sky, you can tell that some time has passed since you... what were you doing, again? Whatever it was, it apparently resulted in you taking a dip in the lake, and then-

...well, you suppose it doesn't really matter. Whatever happened, happened. And so, here you stand, cold and wet, staring at the iron bars of a rather large gate, and the large mansion the lay beyond it. It's a sight you've seen before, you're sure, and yet you can't help but feel as if something is different.

Damned if you had any clue what it could be, though.

What you do know is that it's getting dark. You were currently in a place where being outside in the dark was not typically considered a good choice for anyone with a healthy attachment to their head, blood, internal organs, and life in general. Considering yourself to be one of those very people, and seeing nothing besides the metal gate standing between you and shelter for the night, you...

[ ] Go inside.

[ ] Stay where you are.

[ ] Lake.
>> No. 176738
[X] Stay where you are.

It's rude to invade a home without invitation, you might sour their dinner plans.
>> No. 176739
[x] Go inside.

I for one am in fact quite attached to my bodily parts.
>> No. 176741
[X] Lake.

Going on another phantasmagorical journey into the land of oxygen deprivation is a much better alternative to breaking into a strange mansion in the woods.
>> No. 176742
[X] Go inside.
No lake end please.
>> No. 176743
[x] Go inside.

So, after a week or more of sleeping he wakes up, sleeps a bit more, gets knocked unconscious, almost drowns and is unconscious again?
I may be beating a dead horse but Jesus Christ this guy
>> No. 176745
[X] Go inside.

It's either we freeze outside or try our luck inside. Who knows, maybe the people there will be friendly! Or at least more friendly than some of the people we've met.
>> No. 176748

I would like to again point out that, were we counting the number of days since the story began, this should still only be Day 3. His "week or two" of recovery hasn't even really begun yet.

I wouldn't worry about that, though.
>> No. 176768
Despite squealing like a pig on a torture rack as it as it swings, the gate opens easily enough, requiring little more than a firm push before it gives way and allows you inside. Cautiously scanning the surrounding area for any signs of life, you can see nothing in the fading light besides a poorly-tended lawn and wilted flower beds. Ahead of you, the mansion itself seems to have fallen into a similar state of neglect; paint chipping and stone crumbling, with the massive web of vines snaking up the walls appearing to be the only thing holding the place together.

Clearly, if anyone still lived in this place, they were in dire need of a gardener. Unless, of course, they already had one, in which case they should probably fire them and demand a full refund. If anyone still lived there, that is. From the look of the place, you figure it hasn't been inhabited for quite some time.

Just as you are thinking that, however...

”How rare,” you hear a young woman's voice say from somewhere behind you. “We seem to have a visitor, sister.”

Stopping dead in your tracks, you slowly turn around to see who it could be, but find nobody in sight.

”No, I don't remember inviting anyone, either,” the woman continues to speak, now from somewhere above you. ”But then, why has he come here, sister? Nobody comes here. Not anymore.”

You continue to look around, yet succeed in finding nothing. Are they invisible, you wonder? Moving too fast for you to follow? Or are you simply hallucinating, as people are known to do as they steadily descend into madness? You're not sure about the first two, but you know it couldn't possibly be the last one. After all, you're as sane as sane can be! So they must be around here, somewhere! You just need to figure out where!

”Of course, we shouldn't let this go to waste, should we, sister? Still, it is so very strange, isn't it? I really do wonder...” the unseen woman muses, either to herself or another unseen person. “Why does the bird enter the cage so willingly?”

Hearing a dry snap off to your side, you whip around and spot what you assume to be your elusive lady, examining a particularly shabby-looking flower bed. Standing with her back to you, she holds up the wilted stem of what once may have been a lovely...

...actually, you have no clue what kind of flower that is. Or, rather, was. Still, you're sure it was lovely, just the same.

In any case, you say nothing as you stand there, watching the strangely-winged, blond-haired woman raise the dried-out flower up to her face, tilt her head forward, as if to smell it, and...


...apparently, start chewing on it. As you stand there, transfixed by the sight and sound, the woman slowly turns her head towards you as she munches, and meets your gaze with her own. From the way she was looking at you, you get the feeling she was expecting you to respond in some way. Whether it be to her question of birds and cages, or her choice of snack foods, you're not quite sure.

Still, you feel as if you can't just say nothing to the strange-winged blond girl standing in front of you! Even if that particular combination of traits seems like something you should be worried about for some reason!

[ ] Dinner?

[ ] Shelter?

[ ] Little girl? Just turned seven? Long, green hair?

[ ] LAKE.
>> No. 176770
[x] Little girl? Just turned seven? Long, green hair?

My name is not Harry Mason, I'm not here on vacation, but I really want to find this little girl.
>> No. 176771
[x] Little girl? Just turned seven? Long, green hair?
[x] Can I have some? It looks tasty!

>>you're as sane as sane can be!
Alright, got me laughing.
>> No. 176772
[x] Little girl? Just turned seven? Long, green hair?

Well here we go.
>> No. 176773
[X] Little girl? Just turned seven? Long, green hair?
[x] Can I have some? It looks tasty!
>> No. 176774

These fine young ladies clearly mean to eat us, or at best force us into a musical number. I suggest going for a brisk dip in the lake to avoid such a dire fate.
>> No. 176775
[x] Have you seen a little girl? Long, green hair. Loves flowers and, uh, killing things? She just turned 7 the other day-somehow.
My daughter friend lover companion.
>> No. 176791
[x] Little girl? Just turned seven? Long, green hair?
[x] Can I have some? It looks tasty!
>> No. 176798
“Actually...” you begin, resisting the urge to ask how that flower tasted and, assuming it was good, whether you could try some. “Have you seen a little girl around here? Green hair, about this tall, and dressed like it was her nap time?”

“Hmmm? Did you hear that, sister?” the feather-winged girl says, looking somehow different than she did a moment ago.

“Indeed I did, sister,” a different girl's voice answers behind you. Turning back towards the mansion, you see someone dressed like a maid floating her way towards you. “Could it be who I think it is?”

“I think it could be who you think it is, sister,” the first girl replies, “Do you know what this means?”

“Does it mean we must stop talking like this, sister?” asks the maid, as she slowly passes you by.

“Of course not, sister. We practiced this for so long, after all.”

“It is ever so much fun, sister.”

“A bit annoying to others, though, sister.”

“Does he find it annoying, sister?”

“I don't know, sister.”

“Do you find it annoying, sir?”

“Don't bother answering, sir.”

“The question's rhetorical, sir.”

“Except that it isn't, sister.”

“Right you are, sister.”

“We just don't care, sir.”

“Not at all, sir.”

Unable to do anything but quietly listen to their back-and-forth, it takes you a moment to realize the two girls were actually talking to you. Or, at least, talking in your general direction.

“Oh, I have an idea, sister.” the winged girl says, clapping her hands together. “We should play a game.”

“A game with our visitor, sister?” the maid asks.

“Of course, sister. He did ask us a question, did he not?”

“That he did, sister. But do we know the answer?”

“I suspect that we do, sister.”

“So we tell him if he wins, sister?”

“And if he loses, sister, we-”

“Oh, don't spoil the surprise, sister.”

“My apologies, sister.”

Slowly, the two girls turn their heads towards you, each of them wearing a smile that makes you feel just a little uneasy.

“We'd like to play a game, sir,” says the winged girl.

“A most enjoyable game, sir.” says the maid.

“Ask us a question, sir.”

“And we'll give you an answer, sir.”

“But there is a catch, sir.”

“One of always tells the truth, sir.”

“And one of us always lies, sir.”

“And you can only ask one of us, sir.”

“Choose wrong, and you will regret it, sir.”

“But not for very long, sir.”

Although the two of them were already smiling, and kinda creeping you out as a result, the way the corners of their mouths keep twitching makes you wonder if they weren't on the verge of breaking out into full-on laughter. From the way they were looking at you, they clearly expected you to do something. Say something.

The question was...what?

[ ] (wat do?)
>> No. 176800
[x] Would you like to go out to dinner?

...Now the question is "Which one should we ask?".
>> No. 176803
Hmm... I'm partial between practicing Rock-Fu on them or
[X]What is my name?
But then again we don't know the name so we can't say if the answer is a lie.
>> No. 176804
Well, since they just said contradictory things, I'm pretty sure that they're not playing by the rules. Unless the rules doesn't count when explaining the rules-which would make the rules... ow my head.


[x] (To winged girl) What would the maid here answer if I asked her 'Have you seen Yuuka around here?'
-[x] Keep in mind that the answer is false.
>> No. 176809
[X]{To either one} Have you seen any eight sided boxes around here?

Both will probably answer no, but their response shouldn't kill us.
>> No. 176830
[x] To the winged girl: If I were to ask your sister whether you always tell the truth, what would she say?

It's simple, a reply of "no" means you are talking to the truth teller, and a reply of "yes" means you are talking to the liar.
>> No. 176832

That'll figure out who's telling the truth yes, but it doesn't otherwise help us. Only one question remember.

Personally, the only way I can see of winning this is to ask something off-beat to stun them.

Hence why I made this vote: >>176800

I'm actually hoping that they're just trying to mess with us and my vote will throw them off.

This vote >>176804 would probably work better with finding out if Yuuka is around. Not sure it'll stop them from attacking us though or really tell us anything besides whether she's nearby. If she isn't nearby we'll still be in a bit of a pickle, but at least we'll have won?
>> No. 176834
Anon is confused because anon is stupid. What is the objective?
-Identify who lies? Ask the 8 sides question.
-Getting our answer? Ask the "what would she said" question.
-identifying who is lying by everything that has been said so far and asking a question to the other demon? Impossible.

Anon also thinks we will get attacked of we ask the wrong person, but I believe we will only get attacked of we ask the wrong question.
>> No. 176835
There is always the bard's choice. Simply walk away.
Either to the doors or the lake. It doesn't matter so long as it is done out of free will.
>> No. 176837
[X] Walk inside the mansion.
We never had to actually ask them a question.
>> No. 176838
[x] Would you like to go out to dinner?
>> No. 176862
This is >>176800

I'm changing my vote to

[x] If I asked your sister "Would you like to go out to dinner with me?" would she answer with an affirmative?
-[x] Keep in mind that the answer is false.

I'm not particularly bothered which one we ask. I'll leave that up to someone else.

If someone else can check whether or not this answer will work, I'd appreciate it!
>> No. 176889
Hi, >>176804 here.

I made that post because I checked out and, indeed, it seems that asking what would the other one say would always lead to a false answer. Consider the following:

Case 1:
A: Lies
B: Doesn't lie.

Case 2:
A: Doesn't Lie.
B: Lies.

If the question is: 'What would the other one answer to (x=?)' The replies would be:

Case 1:
A-Real answer 'x' (B doesn't lie) Actual answer: 'Not x'
B-Real answer: 'Not x' (A lies) Actual answer: 'Not x'

Case 2:
A-Real answer: 'Not x' (B lies) Actual answer: 'Not x'
B-Real answer 'X'(A doesn't lie) Actual answer: 'Not x'
>> No. 176891

Thank you very much for your help! Logic puzzles like these make my head hurt and I can never tell if I'm doing them right. I think the zig-zagging of truth and lies kinda throws me off and I forget which one's which.

Thanks again!
>> No. 176892
Out of curiosity, what if it turns out that they both lie? It seems to me that the problem with "games" like this is that it requires you to completely trust the ones who came up with it to play fair and not tip the odds in their favor in some way.
>> No. 176895
If they actually are lying about the premise, they could be lying in any number of ways: they both lie, they both tell the truth, they kill you as soon as you ask a question... best not to worry about it (or just run the fuck away)
>> No. 177048
Bad times are over.
My urge to kill's fading.
Time to write's rising.
But, there's a problem.
Consensus lacking.
Solution's uncertain.
Writer is thinking.
For now, have some fish.
>> No. 177058

Asking them to dinner seems to have won by one vote, although the method appears to differ. So ask them out to dinner and write out whichever method you prefer?
>> No. 177059
Ahhh, you're right.
Well then, I shall proceed accordingly.
Thank you.
Have some more fish.
>> No. 177237
One said one of them lies.
The other said one of them doesn't.
And, for some reason, you can only ask one of them whatever it is you are going to ask them.

Somehow, this reminds you of a riddle. A game of wits, as it were. A game to be won or lost by your choice of words. Unless, of course, it was one of those sorts of games where the only way to truly win was not to play at all.

You somehow doubt this is that sort of game, however. You must play their game! You must play it like you have never played a game like this before, which you think you probably have not! You will ask them a question! A question that has been burning in your mind for the past half-second or so, briefly yet strongly, to the point that all other questions that had been thinking of have been forgotten! And so, taking in a single breath, you brace yourself and let loose the query that begs to be answered, above all else:

“Would you like to go out to dinner?”

The maid and the winged girl stand there, smiling and staring at you, silent and unmoving. This continues for several seconds, before the two of them begin to slowly turn towards one another, both of them keeping their eyes on you until they've almost completely turned their backs towards you, and bend over into a two-girl huddle.

Though you can't quite hear what they're saying, you can tell they're whispering back and forth. No doubt discussing your proposal in some way. No doubt arguing over dishes and desserts, and whether it should be a formal or casual affair. You could only hope for the latter, because your present lack of proper clothing left you horribly under-dressed for most social functions, with the exception of sleep-overs and sleep-over-themed costume parties.

Under-dressed, but damned comfy.

Okay,” the winged girl says as she and the maid turn back towards you, sounding slightly less amused than she did a moment ago. “Let's try this again. You asked a question.”

“...uh, yeah?” you say, only realizing after a few seconds of her staring at you that she expected you respond.

“Who were you asking, sir?” the maid asks. “Me...”

“...or me?” the winged girl finishes.

It seemed a fair question, in a way. A fair question, but an unfair situation. They said you could only ask one of them, sure, but what about the other one? Wouldn't it be rude to ask just one of these girls out to dinner while the other could only look on? It is not unfair to leave one of them uninvited and dinner-less? Clearly, if you were to ask only one, the other would certainly be hurt! That's no good, you think to yourself! There must be another way! Some other way to answer that spares both of their feelings! And so, you answer, in the only way you can think of...

[ ] “Yes.”

[ ] Say nothing, point at both of them.

[ ] Begin vomiting uncontrollably.

[ ] Start throwing rocks at stuff.

[ ] Jump in the lake.
>> No. 177238
[X] “Yes.”

The mathematician's answer.
>> No. 177239
[x] “Yes.”

Hooray for updates.
>> No. 177240
[x] “Yes.”
>> No. 177241
[x] “Yes.”
>> No. 177243
[x] “Yes.”
>> No. 177248
[X] “Yes.”
Clearly the superior answer.
>> No. 177249
[X] Jump in the lake while pointing at both.

So long as the Lake is an option, I will chose to dive beneath its waves.
>> No. 177255
>“Okay,” the winged girl says as she and the maid turn back towards you, sounding slightly less amused than she did a moment ago. “Let's try this again. You asked a question.

Winged girl confirmed for truth-teller? Eh, I suppose it doesn't really matter since I'm voting for best answer.

[x] “Yes.”
>> No. 177257
[x] Yes
C-C-C-Counter trolling!
>> No. 177269
[ ] Jump in the lake.
>> No. 177278

Once again the two girls stare at you, no doubt in awe of your dinner-asking-out prowess, and are-


...or not, judging by how quickly yet firmly the winged girl shouted her refusal.

“No no no no NO!” she continues to shout, punctuating each 'no' with a stamp of her foot and flap of her wings, as the rather surprised-looking maid beside her flinches. “It's me or her! Me or her! One or the other! You can't just say 'yes' and have it count! That's... that's...!”

“That is not how the game is meant to be played, sir,” the maid says, trying to maintain some semblance of composure while being repeatedly smacked by her sister's feathery appendage.

“No! No! No 'sir'!” the winged girl snaps at the maid, angrily thrusting a finger in your direction. “He does not get to be a 'sir' anymore! He is ruining our game! He's a... a game-ruiner!”

“Um, sorry?” you offer, unsure of how bad you should be feeling at this moment. Sure, you did kinda ruin whatever game they were trying to play with you, you suppose. On the other hand, it didn't strike you as a very good game. The tantrum wasn't helping garner much sympathy, either.

Hmph!” the winged girl huffs at you, folding her arms and assuming the classic 'pouting while looking away from the one that made you angry' stance. Depending on the skill of the user, it was a truly formidable technique, and the way she was now folding over her wings as if to further block you from her field of vision only served to drive home sensation of being purposely ignored. There was no mistaking that you were being ignored, not out of apathy, but out of sheer contempt.

Against you, though, it was...

[ ] Super effective!
[ ] Kinda effective!
[ ] Not very effective!
>> No. 177280
[X] Super effective!
>> No. 177281
[X] Super effective!

Aw come on, we might be slightly crazy, but we're not a jerk, are we?
>> No. 177285
[X] Super effective!
>> No. 177286
[x] Not very effective!

Invite them to dinner again!
>> No. 177287
[X] Super effective!

Chest pain level rising
>> No. 177291
[X] Not very effective!
>> No. 177292
>Aw come on, we might be slightly crazy, but we're not a jerk, are we?

I think that depends on who you ask.
>> No. 177293
[X] Super effective!
>> No. 177301
>There was no mistaking that you were being ignored, not out of apathy, but out of sheer contempt.

What is this contempt you speak of? All I see is this fine lady playing hard to get! When has being ignored ever stopped us? Let's ask them both out to dinner again.

[x] Not very effective!
>> No. 177305
[X] Not very effective.
I laugh at your pouty face and flaunt my superior rock throwing ability!
>> No. 177306

>Aw come on, we might be slightly crazy, but we're not a jerk, are we?

Remember when we forced Tenshi to drink all those chemicals in Eirin's lab? Ah, good times, good times.
>> No. 177322
[x] Not very effective!
>> No. 177326
[x] Not very effective!

Remember when we got Yuuka to pursue us, and then turned her into a child?

What I don't remember is how we thought it'd be a good idea.
>> No. 177329

>What I don't remember is how we thought it'd be a good idea.

I believe the logic was something like "MC is good at bullshitting little girls > Let's try bullshitting Yuuka > MC can't bullshit Yuuka > Too bad Yuuka isn't a little girl! > Oh fuck, what do we do? > SOMEONE HELP! > Rikako is offering to do SCIENCE! > We can totally bullshit Yuuka once she's a little girl > Let's make Yuuka a little girl > There's no way this can go wrong! > ??? > So moe I'm gonna die! > Profit?"

If you don't believe me, go read it yourself;
>> No. 177359
[x] Not very effective!
- [x] "So, um, can you lead me to the kitchen then so I can get started on dinner?"
>> No. 177375
[X] Super effective!

If there's one thing this guy can't handle it's being ignored.
>> No. 177378
[x] Not very effective!
- [x] "So, um, can you lead me to the kitchen/diningroom then so I can get started on dinner?"
>> No. 177406
It's not very effective. Not very effective at all. In fact, it was so ineffective, you feel yourself caring about the fact you were being ignored by her less and less by the second. Not enough to diminish your willingness to engage in dinner or dinner-related activities with her, of course, but you're not going to go out of your way to make it anything special.

No candles. No appetizers. Leftovers only. That is the only place the Good Ship Dinnertime will be sailing for her if she keeps this up for much longer. And she'll have to paddle half-way.

On the other hand, her sister, the maid-
...or would that be the maid, her sister?
Is she her sister's maid, or she just a sister who happens to be a maid? Or, at the very least, a maid enthusiast?
After all, she is certainly dressed as you would expect a maid to be dressed. She does, however, appear to be lacking any sort of sharp, stabbing instruments, which you know for a fact to be one of the crucial elements of a maid's ensemble, along with the willingness to use them.

Of course, she could just be hiding them under her skirt, you suppose. Not that you would let that get in your way. If there was dinner to be had with her, then you would have it, damn it!

“So!” you begin, turning your full attentions towards the non-ignoring-you sister. “Dinner! You guys have a kitchen or something? Because the sooner we get started with the cooking, the sooner we can get started with the eating. How does that sound, Miss...?”

The maid opens her mouth, as if to speak, only to stop suddenly. From the way she was glancing over at the winged girl, you can only assume something along the lines of a nasty glare was being shot her way at that moment. Closing her mouth, the maid then begins to take a great interest her hands as they begin to fiddle with the hem of her apron.

'Oh, so that's how it is,' you think to yourself. You had heard of scenarios such as this, but had never before witnessed it with your own eyes. You would have thought the fact you were asking both of them would have avoided such an occurrence. Alas, it would seem that, in addition to being the maid's sister and possible employer, the winged girl was also going to be playing the role of 'that friend'. The so-called 'friend' the takes it upon themselves to act as a barricade between her companion and anyone who would attempt to approach them, effectively blocking them off from all contact.

Even if that was not her exact intention, the effect was the same. The winged girl was going to be an obstruction between you and her and her sister and dinner so long as she insisted on ignoring you, and apparently forcing her sibling to go along with it.

Fortunately, you can think of more than one way to take down a wall...

[ ] TALK
[ ] ROCK
>> No. 177409
>> No. 177410

It's the best way around a wall that doesn't actually enclose anything.
>> No. 177414

She wants to ignore us? Fine! Two can play at that game!
>> No. 177415
The best option
>> No. 177416
>> No. 177417

Pass a rock to the !Maid and have her be the first to toss the rock of freedom against her oppressor.
>> No. 177421
>> No. 177425
>you can think of more than one way to take down a wall...
>Ways to take down walls:


Oh MC, you so crazy.


Voting for sidestep to maximise our chance of dinner. Although...

>[ ] ROCK

...with her back to us she'd never notice the most holy rock speeding towards her until it was far, far too late. When was the last time we threw a rock at someone anyway? I think we're long overdue! So tempted~

Going with sidestep for now!
>> No. 177426
[x] TALK
>> No. 177432
>> No. 177435
To be fair, depending on the nature of the wall, some of those actions might not be as crazy as you think.
>> No. 177504
Go around it!
Truly, what better way to deal with life's little obstacles than to ignore and avoid them?
Though neither girl has explicitly accepted your invitation to dinner, neither did they outright refuse it! In that case, it was all too clear what you must do!

Stepping around the two girls, you make your way to the front door of the mansion, paying no mind to the sound of whispering behind your back as you do so. It did not matter what they were saying, you figure. There was dinner to be had, girls to have it with, and if you cannot drag them to it then you will drag it to them! Granted, you had no idea what sort of kitchen they had in this place, or what they had in the way of food, but you're sure you'll manage something. It certainly couldn't be any more difficult than that time you were...

...actually, you're not sure you care to think back to those times. That was then, this is now, and nothing ever came from dwelling on what has already happened, right? 'Of course not,' you think to yourself.

Satisfied with this line of thought, you march your way up to the front door of the mansion, firmly grasp the doorknob in your hand and attempt to twist it. Unfortunately, if doorknobs were capable of feeling emotions, this particular one currently appeared to be in a distinctly non-twisting mood. Setting aside the greater implications of such a thing, and the very real possibility that some sort of doorknob youkai was, at this very moment, tromping about the countryside and using its doorknob-y powers to wreak all sorts of door-related havoc upon the unsuspecting populace, and instead ponder over what the actual problem could be.

No matter how much force you apply, the knob does not move in any way. You twist, you turn, you push, you pull, and for all your effort you feel as if you may as well be trying to pull open a wall. For all you know, that may be exactly what you're doing. Perhaps, you wonder, this door isn't a door at all, but a very convincing replica?

'No, that would be silly,' you think. You simply were not trying hard enough! You had to stop trying to open the door and just open it! Redoubling your efforts, you begin to twist the knob harder, alternating your direction of rotation in hopes of loosening it. Through it all, you become increasingly aware that the sounds of whispering behind you have been replaced by quiet giggling.

Somehow, that strikes you as a...


>> No. 177505
>> No. 177507

Either we're embarrassing ourselves and making chances for dinner with them less and less likely, or we're steadily approaching "we're screwed" territory.
>> No. 177511
For surely they must know how to work this unopening door!
>> No. 177516
[x] Good thing!
This door is obviously designed to open on laughter! They're helping us!
>> No. 177518
>Of course not
Oh no. The italic voices are back.
>> No. 177523
>It certainly couldn't be any more difficult than that time you were...
Damn, here I was hoping for more of his past to be revealed.

>> No. 177530
>> No. 177533
For some reason I thought he was referring to his time at SDM.
>> No. 177561
A good thing. It is almost certainly a good thing that those two were giggling the way that they were. A happy stomach is a hungry stomach, after all, and it is always preferable to dine with people when they're in a good mood rather than a bad one. Not that it's impossible to get through dinner when your follow participants are completely ignoring you, but it does make for some awkward moments when you try to ask them to pass you something.

Of course, you realize, their mood is the least of your worries right now, as nobody will be eating anything unless you can get this door open.

This door, which refuses to open for you.
This door, which seems to mock your futile attempts to gain entry.
This door. This door. This door!
You twist, turn, wiggle, jiggle, jostle, push, pull, and do pretty much anything else you can think of to coax even the slightest bit of movement from the wretched knob in your hand short of begging.

At this point, you're almost tempted to forgo manners, and simply begin to insult the knob's mother and threaten to burn the house down. You don't do that, though, since that would somewhat defeat the purpose of trying to get inside, to say nothing of the extreme difficulty you would have in cooking anything when the whole place was engulfed in flames.

However applicable it may be, whoever came up with that saying about getting out of kitchens when one can't stand the heat probably wasn't imaging the place actually burning to the ground when they thought of it.

In any case, threats of violence and arson were clearly not an appropriate tactic for this situation. Rock-throwing was also unlikely to work, you suppose.

Stupid door.
Stupid, non-opening door. What sort of door doesn't open?' you ask yourself.

Aside from, of course, locked doors. That would certainly be a kind of door that doesn't open, much like...

Oh. That could be why, you suppose.
The door is locked.
It seems so obvious, now that you think about it. If a door is locked, it is only natural that it will not open. If a door does not open, then, it stands to reason that it is probably locked.

The question, then, was how to go about unlocking it. A key is usually a good bet, you suppose. Perhaps one of the girls would happen to know where to find it? Maybe they have it on them, for all you know.

Though you don't want to interrupt their whispering and giggling when they seem to be enjoying it so much, you nevertheless turn around to ask the two girls if they might be able to help with your attempts to gain entry to their home, only to find that they are no longer there. You can still hear them giggling, oddly enough, as loudly and clearly as if they were standing right next to you, yet you can see no sign of where their voices were now coming from.

What you do see is an alarmingly large wall of red liquid.

An alarmingly large wall of red liquid that was currently rushing towards you.

...and the giggling turns to laughter.

[ ] Scream. Beg. Plead.

[ ] Door. Open. Now.

[ ] Window. Break. Fast.

[ ] Gasp. Gulp. Glug.
>> No. 177562
[x] Window. Break. Fast.

Door won't open, so window will just have to do. I saw this in an action movie once, so it'll definitely work. Option to just sit here and drown is the second most appealing one.
>> No. 177567
[X] Gasp. Gulp. Glug

Whelp, time to drink blood.
>> No. 177569
[X] Window. Break. Fast.

Maybe we can unlock the door from the inside so that we can enter the house!
>> No. 177570
[x] Window. Break. Fast.

They seem to be rather poor sports.
>> No. 177574
[x] Window. Break. Fast.

Utilize those rock-throwing skills if necessary!
>> No. 177576
[X] Window. Break. Fast.
>> No. 177578
[x] Window. Break. Fast.
Door won't get less locked for us, asking for help will only make them laugh even harder and drowning is... a cliche. Time for plan B.
>> No. 177589
You need to get inside. You need to get inside now. But how? As far as you can tell, the door is a no-go, so what else can you do? Break a window and climb inside? Aside from the risk of cutting yourself on a shard of glass in the process, you can't help but think there is some other flaw in the idea of breaking open a window to escape a large, red tidal wave.

You can't think of what it could be, though, so you think you may as well go ahead and do it.

With only seconds to act, you quickly survey the area for your tried-and-true method of breaking-and-entering. Not seeing any fairies in the area, however, you settle on the crumbled piece of brick you spy on the ground not too far from you. Springing into motion, you scoop up the surprisingly heavy chunk of stone. Pausing just long enough to get a feel for its weight, you wind up your arm and chuck it towards the nearest window. Though muffled against the sound of rushing liquid, the unmistakable crack and tinkling of shattered glass still puts a smile on your face as you dash towards the window. Shielding your head as best you can with one arm, you slam your free hand down onto the windowsill. Half-pulling, half-leaping, you dive through just in time to feel the first drops of liquid spatter on your back, and hear the wave crashing against the wall.

As your body gracelessly flops onto the hard floor, you feel something cold and wet splash against your back, and you once again get the feeling there was something in your plan that you had failed to take into account. Something that, you suspect, may have something to do with the hole you made in the window.

Too bad you're still drawing a blank on what it could be.

You suppose the fact you destroyed somebody's window would prove to be a problem, assuming the homeowner was the sort to object to people breaking their windows to enter their homes uninvited. Although the trespassing issue can be a sticky matter to resolve, sometimes, you've always found the easiest way to defuse window-related conflicts by assuring the offended party that any damage done is only temporary, as the glass will eventually grow back, stronger than it ever was before.

They don't, of course, but experience has taught you that the amount of time it takes for them to realize this fact is almost always longer than the amount of time needed for you to run as far away from them as physically possible.

...or so you had thought, until that very moment. Scrambling to your feet, you turn around and look back at the broken window, only to find it substantially less-broken than you recollect. Though there was certainly still a hole in it, what little of it remained was steadily shrinking right before your eyes. Moving as if they were melting, the broken shards warp and flow in their frame. Edges soften and merge, lines fade away, and before you know it the you-sized opening has become so small a fly would have trouble passing through it.

The liquid, for its part, is surprisingly well-behaved throughout this process, making no further attempts to follow you through the hole beyond that single splash on your back. It was almost as if some unseen, magical force were preventing it from...

Oh, right. Magic. That is a thing. It would certainly explain the window, you suppose. It certainly makes more sense than glass healing itself, and sentient masses of liquid chasing you.

Unless that's what it wants you to think.

Before your thoughts delve too deeply into the notion of sapient liquids and their scheming ways, a sudden noise draws your attention away from the window, and you turn around just in time to see something flash...

[ ] Silver and Cold

[ ] Crimson and Gold
>> No. 177591
[x] Crimson and Gold
>> No. 177593
[X] Crimson and Gold
Those moves were actually planned. A surprising new tactic for this dude.
>> No. 177597
[X] Crimson and Gold
>> No. 177600
[X] Crimson and Gold

As usual, I have no idea.
>> No. 177602
[X] Silver and Cold
Sounds like Koishi
More Koishi, yay!
>> No. 177605
Red things. Two of them.
Two red things glow in the dim light of the room, as if a pair of eyes were staring at you. From the way they were blinking occasionally, you get the impression that is because they are a pair of eyes staring at you. Two red eyes, staring at you, framed by long strands of gold on both sides, and above. You think that might be hair.

“Uh... uh-oh,” you hear the red eyes mutter. “Oh boy. Oh geez. This is, uh, ooh-boy...”

“Um, helMMPH?!

You find your attempt at greeting the red-eyed person cut short by a hand clamping tightly over your mouth while another presses against the back of your head. The red eyes that were on the other side of the room just a moment ago now are much closer now, staring right into your own.

“A-tut-tut-tut! Shh! Shhh! Are you trying to get me in trouble?!” the girl holding your head whispers, glancing nervously behind her before locking eyes with you once again, and... is she sniffing you? “I'm really gonna get it if she finds out that wow, you smell kinda goooowhatImeanis you're not supposed to be here, and, and...” i-i-is that... b-blood?”

“Mmph?” is all you can manage as a response with the girl's hand still covering your mouth, as you wonder if you didn't cut yourself on some of that glass, after all. It wouldn't surprise you if that were the case, but he lack of pain makes you wonder how bad it could possibly be. More importantly than that, though...

[ ] Mmpf rrnrgh hrrm?

[ ] Mrrgh hrm mrrgh?

[ ] Rrrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm sorry, but your Koishi option is in another castle.
>> No. 177607
[X] Rrrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?
It's long, meaning more words! And more words means more things happen. That's how it works, right?
>your Koishi option is in another castle.
Ah curses.
>> No. 177609
[x] Rrrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?
for this reason >>177607

Great, another Hemoglobin gourmet, even when he
sleeps, this guy never rests.
>> No. 177611
[X] Rrrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?

Because why not?
Also, I sort of expected Yumeko from the "crimson and gold" thing, but in hindsight that makes no sense considering we're rolling LLS style right now, not MS style.
>> No. 177614
[x] Rrrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?


>It's long, meaning more words! And more words means more things happen. That's how it works, right?

That adequately describes MC's stance on talking, yes.


I was expecting Elly, but now that I think of it she was probably the thing that flashed silver and cold (because of her scythe catching the light).
>> No. 177615
This guy.

[x] Rrrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?
>> No. 177617
[x] Mrrgh hrm mrrgh?

Being contrarian is the best.
>> No. 177618
[X] Mmpf rrnrgh hrrm?
Throw in some eyebrow waggling with that final 'hrrm?'.
>> No. 177619
[x] Rrrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?
>> No. 177741
“Rrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmghrrrgh grgmhrghm?” you utter through your covered mouth, eliciting a look of confusion from the girl. Though you are not entirely surprised by this, you nevertheless hoped that your intentions would be adequately conveyed if you spoke them with enough emphasis.

Uhhhwha?” the girl whispers, confirming your invitation was not emphatic enough to be understood.

“Rrgh mrrgh rgh mm hmmgh rmgh-

Shhp! Stop! You're gonna-” she cuts you off, her hold on your head tightening as she once glances behind her before looking back to you. “L-look, look, just don't make any noise and I won't have to snap your neck or something, okay?!

Though you're not sure what the girl has against your attempting to communicate with her, least of all because it was her own hands that were hindering your ability to do so, you still feel compelled to nod in agreement with her request. Far be it from you to say 'no' to a lady, least of all when they are offering to not snap your neck. Indeed, neck-snapping was one of a number of things you were quite happy to not have done to you under any circumstance, and you saw little reason to change that line of thinking at this time.

Appearing satisfied with your cooperation, the girl looks back over her shoulder, and begins tilting her head, as if listening for something.

Crap. She's getting out.” the girl quietly mutters to herself.

“Oh, Karuuuuumiiiiiiii?” a woman's voice calls out from somewhere else in the house. “What are you dooooooing?”

“N-nothing! Nothing!” the girl calls back, her body tensing up. “Just keeping watch like you told me to, that's all!”

“And breaking windows again?” the voice replies, sounding closer than it did before. “I told you not to do that, didn't I?”

“A-ah, right! The window! Yeah, uh, about that-” the girl stammers, desperately looking around the room for something.

“How many times have I told you, Kurumi?” the voice asks, even closer than before, and now accompanied by the faint creaking of wood. “How many?”

“Oh, uh, I don't know...” the girl replies, motioning with her head for you to follow her. Slowly, she begins to pull you along, her grip on your head remaining just strong enough to make it clear that it was useless to resist. Just as you begin to make your way past an impressively large sofa, however, the girl suddenly stops. Her eyes widen, her body goes rigid, and at that moment you could swear you hear her faintly whimpering. For a moment, you wonder what could be causing this girl to look so alarmed, but then you hear it...


The woman, now sounding no more than a few rooms away, was calmly humming. Though you don't recognize the tune, you still can't help but find something unsettling about it. The melody itself seemed catchy enough, but the wooden creaking and metallic scraping sounds accompanying it made the whole thing sound rather ominous for some reason.

Fortunately, both of those sounds abruptly stop, allowing you to enjoy the melody as something shiny comes whirling into the room like a shiny whirly thing that...


[ ] Push

[ ] Pull

[ ] Duck

[ ] Dive
>> No. 177742
[x] Duck

Hit the floor.
>> No. 177744
[X] Duck
>> No. 177745
[X] Duck

>> No. 177746
[x] Dive

Quick! Dive behind the sofa! Nothing can penetrate such large cushiony softnesss!
>> No. 177747

With foreshadowing like that, I wouldn't be surprised if she had some sort of Hyper Weapon concealed on her person.
>> No. 177748
[X] Duck

We do have one in our inventory, right?
>> No. 177750
- [x] Dip
-- [x] Duck
--- [x] Dive
---- [x] Dodge
>> No. 177752
>> No. 177758
[x] Pull
Heroic rescue!
>> No. 177766
[x] Pull
>> No. 177771
>>177750 here. Changing because my vote was silly and I just realized the potential for

[x] Pull
>> No. 177773
[x] Pull
We can't just leave a little girl behind to save ourselves. We haven't even asked her out to dream dinner yet!
>> No. 177775
[X] Duck

No, I'm pretty sure that mass of muffled words, based on the number of them matching the number used in said line, was in fact asking her out to dinner.
>> No. 177780
[X] Dive
Under the girl's dress. The safest place to be when things go down.
>> No. 177922
Hey, folks. Still alive. Tired, achy, and various other things, but also alive. Trying to get the wheels turning again, but it's hard to think about Touhous when much of my brain-space is being consumed by thoughts of barricading myself indoors and never going outside ever again, or not doing that and setting everyone on fire. I am leaning towards the former, if only because the latter would entail going outside.

On a related note, fuck winter.

Will try to get something done Friday and/or Saturday, and see how things go from there.
>> No. 177939
Take your time, as long as you don't forget us here. Good luck!
>> No. 177954
You would like to think you know a thing or two about throwing things, as well as a thing or two about things being thrown. Certainly enough to recognize something being thrown at you when you see it, which is precisely what you think you're seeing at this very moment.

That is almost certainly a bad thing. A bad thing that should be avoided. And so you do the only thing you can think of to avoid the bad thing, and duck down as quickly as you possibly can. Unfortunately, 'as quickly as you possibly can' isn't nearly quick enough when someone is tightly holding your head, and they have enough strength to continue holding it even as you try your hardest to wiggle free.

However, your determination to not get hit by flying objects far surpasses such limitations! Mustering all of your might, you pull against the girl's vice-like grip! You pull! Tug! Twist! Writhe! If your mouth were not currently covered, you would be letting out the mightiest yell you've ever uttered! A yell that, while sounding quite similar to a cry of panic and terror, is almost certainly not that. No, this was a battle cry! The shout of a warrior, meant to strike terror into all who hear it!

Much to your amazement, it actually seems to work! As if struck by a mighty force, the girl lurches to one side as her hands fall away from your head, allowing you duck down! Truly, the force of your will was so great, you could practically hear the sickeningly wet sound of its impact! The hard, razor-sharp steel of your resolve piercing the soft, supple barrier of your opponent's body like a blade on a long stick, much like the one that you see sticking out of the girl's body as she flops to the ground and...



As you stare at the girl, now laying motionless beside you, the humming continues.



So close, they could be coming through the door at any moment.

...you're not sure you want to see what happens when they do.

[ ] Hide yourself. Fast.

[ ] Tend to the girl. Consequences be damned.


Alright, let's see if we can't get this ball rolling again, shall we?
>> No. 177955
[x]Tend to the girl, consequences be damned.

Because clearly when the picture is of Higurashi/Umineko blood and we just saw someone get gibbed by a scythe, this is clearly the best course of action. Clearly. Especially since she didn't exactly understand our invitation to dinner.
>> No. 177956
[x] Tend to the girl. Consequences be damned.
If we help her here maybe she'll agree to go out to dinner!
And she should really stop being so clumsy
>> No. 177958
[x]Tend to the girl, consequences be damned.

Hiding? while potential dinner candidates are in need of help?
>> No. 177959
[x]Tend to the girl, consequences be damned.
We are so dead is not even funny. Well, a little.
>> No. 177960
[x]Tend to the girl, consequences be damned.

What could possibly go wrong?
>> No. 177961
[x] Tend to the girl, consequences be damned.

Sure thing.
>> No. 177963
[X] Tend to the girl. Consequences be damned.
He may be insane, but the MC isn't someone who leave a person to die.
>> No. 177967
[X] Tend to the girl. Consequences be damned.
>> No. 177968
[x]Tend to the girl, consequences be damned.
>> No. 177971
[x]Tend to the girl, consequences be damned.
>> No. 177972
[x] Tend to the girl. Consequences be damned.

Judging by this latest vote, MC clearly has his priorities in order.
>> No. 177973
[x] Tend to the girl. Consequences be damned.

I had to flip a coin, then lie about what the results were, because there's only one real choice, as everyone seems to be in agreement with.
>> No. 178397
You know what? Screw the consequences.
That is what you think to yourself, as you move closer to the fallen girl.
She needed help, and you were going to give it to her, damn it! Not just because hoped that she would want to have dinner with you afterward, but mostly because you hoped that she would want to have dinner with you afterward.

Granted, you had little to no experience with treating serious injuries, least of all ones involving farm equipment. Even so! You had to do something! Anything! Besides, you may not be a doctor, but you have been treated by one! That makes you the most qualified person in the room, at that moment!

Well, that, and the fact that you were also the only person in the room who wasn't currently lying on the floor with a blade sticking out of their abdomen. That is also an important qualification in the 'able to do something' department. Or 'anything' for that matter. Swimming. Painting. Breathing. Truly, the possibilities are endless when you don't have a large piece of sharpened metal firmly lodged in your vital organs. In fact, just about the only things anyone can hope to do when they do have such a thing happen to them is bleed and die. Quickly, if they're lucky. Or slowly and painfully, if they are not. Then again, dying slowly would allow for more time for someone to help them, which would actually be luckier than the poor sap who snuffed it too quickly for anyone to do anything, in which case it would probably not be...

Oh, right. The girl. Hit by a scythe. Needing help. You should probably get on that, shouldn't you?

But how? What do you do? What should you do?

[ ] Pull the blade out. Or don't. Which one was the bad thing to do, again?

[ ] Check her vitals. Whatever those are. Maybe figure out what vitals are, first.

[ ] Do that mouth-breathy thing. In with the bad air! Out with the good! ...wait a minute.

[ ] Rub her neck with aloe vera, or the nearest aloe vera-esque substitute.

[ ] Repeatedly hit her in the chest while screaming 'LIVE DAMN YOU, LIVE!'

[ ] Give up and break down sobbing about how it never gets any easier.
>> No. 178399
[X] Repeatedly hit her in the chest while screaming "LIVE DAMN YOU, LIVE!"
You're pretty sure this is what you're supposed to do. Especially the yelling part.
Truly, was there ever really any other choice?
Also, good to see you again author.
>> No. 178401
[x] Repeatedly hit her in the chest while screaming 'LIVE DAMN YOU, LIVE!'

Yes! Updates.
>> No. 178411
[x] Repeatedly hit her in the chest while screaming 'LIVE DAMN YOU, LIVE!'
>> No. 178415
[X] Repeatedly hit her in the chest while screaming 'LIVE DAMN YOU, LIVE!'

Clearly this is what you do! Clearly!
>> No. 178420
[x] Take it off. Or on, I dunno.
[x] Repeatedly hit her in the chest while screaming 'LIVE DAMN YOU, LIVE!'
>> No. 178498
[X] Pull the blade out. Or don't. Which one was the bad thing to do, again?
>> No. 178618
[X] Give up and break down sobbing about how it never gets any easier.
It's over doctor, the patient has passed away.
>> No. 178746
You knew what you had to do. It was a technique you had seen before, though you can't quite recall where. All you know is that you had seen it, and while you were not entirely clear on how it actually worked, it was hard to argue against the results.

Kneeling next the girl, you place your hands under her side and attempt to roll her over onto her back. Failing that, thanks in no small part due to the oddly curvy handle attached to the large blade sticking out of her body, you settle for leaving her laying on her side, with the handle serving to help keep her propped up.

With little time left to act, you quickly shuffle yourself into a better position, and start punching the wounded girl in her chest over and over again, punctuating each blow with cries that range from pleading to demanding. “LIVE, DAMN YOU! LIVE!” you shout, recalling the words you heard used by others performing this technique in the past. “DON'T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMN IT! NOT ON MY WATCH!

Yes! This was truly the ultimate Life-Saving Technique! Or would it be more like a ritual? Either way, you knew it would succeed! You had to succeed! For the sake of this girl, as well as your possibility of having dinner with her!

ON YOUR FEET, SOLDIER!” you practically scream, following a particularly fierce blow to her sternum. “YOU DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO DIE!

“...oh my, and what do you think you're doing?” a woman's voice asks, as you hear someone shuffling up behind you. “Actually, don't answer that. Just hold still for a moment, if you would, please.”

[ ] OKAY

>> No. 178747
Actually, I have no silly MC-like reasoning this time. I just like how NOKAY looks. It calls to me.
>> No. 178748

We don't want to have to have the Ultimate Live-saving Technique be used on OURSELVES, now, would we?
>> No. 178750

There is only one option here.
>> No. 178752

What else to do?
>> No. 178753
Too mad to live, too busy to die
>> No. 178781
Hold still, she says? You can't hold still! You had to keep moving! You weren't going to save anyone by just standing still! Even a rock is not useful unless it's in motion!

And so, you do not hold still.
That is not a thing that is okay with you.
It is the opposite of okay.
It is not okay.
It is nokay.
Nokay, it was.
'It' being the act of not moving, which, when you think about it, isn't really an act.
Unless it was.
If one were to choose to not act, would that inaction be, itself, an act?
If doing nothing was, itself, a thing you could do, then by doing nothing you were actually doing something?
But if doing nothing was doing something, then you weren't really doing nothing, were you?
Yet, if the act of nothing was actually something, and that something was the thing you were doing, when what were you really doing if the thing you were doing was not a thing?

Thoughts like that make your head hurt.
Hurt like a blade cleaving through your skull.

Also, blades cleaving through your skull.
That is also a thing that makes your head hurt.
Coincidentally, that is also what is causing your head to hurt right now.
A blade. Cutting through your skull.
Cutting it like a hot knife through butter.
Or a hot scythe through bone and brain tissue.

“Oh dear, you just had to go and move, didn't you?” a lady's voice says, with a sigh. “No matter. The next one will be cleaner. Just hold that pose, and...”

Your head hurts.
The edges hurt, at least.
The middle, not so much.
You're not sure how much of your head has been sliced off, but clearly it wasn't enough to render you incapable of wondering how much of it had been sliced off.
͘Just̕ e͘n̸ough to h̛ur͠t.͟

͠Ju̧st eno͞ug͠h t́o͢ ̕h҉urt, and́́ m͢͠͝a͟k̶e̸̢͜ ͘y̴͟o҉͜ù̡̢ ̸̕w̸̶̛o̶n͝de̕͢r̷͟ i͜f̴͠ ͝i̸͡͞ţ҉ ͜͡w̴íl̸͜͠l̷̕ ͜b͜e̛͏ wo̶̶rs҉e҉̨͢ w̫̪͘̕h̷̺̗͖̥͈̯͖̪̻é̷̱̯̱̺̘̖͙̜ṇ̸͓̙̭͙̺͕ͅ
>> No. 178784
'Nokay'? What does that even mean?!”

My head hurts.

“I think it means, like, 'okay' but 'not okay'? Or something?”

It really, really hurts.

“That's dumb. Why not just say 'not okay'?”

All this noise isn't helping much.

“ I dunno! He's just saying it in his sleep, right?”

Shut up. Shut up. Just shut up. It won't stop hurting if you don't shut up.

“Uh-huh, right. 'Sleep'. He is so totally not asleep.”

Yes I am. Yes I am. I am asleep. Let me sleep. Shut up, leave me alone, and let me sleep, damn it.

“Hey. Heeeeeeeeeey. Wake up. Wake up.”

No. Go away. Go away. I am sleeping. This is my sleeping face.

“Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up...”

No no no no no no you can't make me no no no no...


...oh no.


The words don't even finish ringing in your ears before they strike, and you feel the weight of someone flopping themselves onto you.

“Mmmpf! I'm awake! I'm awake, okay?!” you manage to sputter out, in spite of warm mass of fabric and something else pressing firmly into your face.

“Mmmmm, reeeeeeeally?” your assailant purrs, her tone making it all too easy to imagine the grin she was currently wearing.

“Yes! Yes, damn it! Yes!”

“Hmmmmmmm... okay. I guess you're awake, then!”

“Can you get off me, then?”

“Mmmmnope! Don't wanna!”

“Please get off? Please?”

“Orin, Mama said we have a lot of work to do today! She's gonna be mad if we-”

“Awww, geeze, okay! Sheeeesh!” the cat-girl relents, but not without making a point of sliding herself off of you as slowly as possible, as if she were not a person so much as a giant glob of molasses in human form.

Well, human-esque.

With your daily threat of being smothered to death having passed as easily as you could ever hope for it to pass, you take a few deep breathes, open your eyes, and...

[ ] Scream
[ ] Shout
[ ] Sob
[ ] Sleep
>> No. 178785
[X] Sob
Does this mean we're back Underground? If so, I want to sob myself. I don't remember Orin and Utsuho coming with us. Terrible memory though.
What was the deal with the dream anyway? You keep giving us questions but no answers damn it!
>> No. 178788
[X] Scream

...Wait a minute, what. How did we get here?
I am calling it now, this is part of the dream as part of an April Fool's joke. Or something. I'm not sure anymore!
>> No. 178796
[x] Shout

Well why not.
>> No. 178798
[x] Sleep

Now that we've established that we're not asleep, let's go to sleep. We have a lovely lady to invite to dinner in our dreams waiting for us!


>Does this mean we're back Underground

One does not simply leave the Hell of Blazing Fire. Pic related. The Ministry of Right and Wrong would look pretty silly if everyone they sentenced to hell waltzed straight back out, no?

>I don't remember Orin and Utsuho coming with us. Terrible memory though

I don't remember them coming with us either, but my memory is likely more terrible than yours. Maybe they just missed us and decided to visit? It's probably something more mind-bending though, knowing this story.
>> No. 178800
[x] Sleep
>> No. 178801
[x] Shout
>> No. 178804
It didn't make any sense that some device could shrink Yuuka like that. And that dream with the knives and falling through a gap to meet Chen.
Oh god, we never left did we?

[X] Scream
For all the good it will do for us
>> No. 178805
You shout and scream. As loud and as clearly as you can, you shout.
You shout to ceiling.
You scream to the heavens.
You screan and shout to the two girls standing before you.


You were having the most wonderful dream, after all.
Well, 'dream' might not be quite the right word to describe it.
It did get a little weird at times.
And you're not really sure what was going on most of the time.
Something a box and notes or something? What was that all about?
And why did you spend so much of it in that damn cave?!

As these questions race through your mind, another one begins to drift to the surface.

...wait. When did I meet that other girl?

One of the two you feel certain you've met before, yet you can't recall ever meeting the other. Yet, you somehow know her? Since when? Doesn't that seem odd to you? It should, shouldn't it?

It was strange. Very strange. Undeniably strange.
And that is why you were going back to sleep.
Yes, sleep.
Sleep and dream.

[ ] Dream of youth

[ ] Dream of paths not taken

[ ] Dream of the forgotten

[ ] Dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the
dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the
>> No. 178806
[X] Dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the
dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the
Okay, confirmed for April Fools Joke.
bretty gud
>> No. 178807
[x] That vote
>> No. 178808
[x] Dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the
dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of thedream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the dream of the forgotten paths not taken in your youth.

>> No. 178811

>Okay, confirmed for April Fools Joke.

Unless the April Fools Joke is that this isn't an April Fools Joke. But who would really get that meta?
>> No. 178812
Well, to be honest...actually hell. What are we supposed to call Author? We've never even given him a fan nickname.
>> No. 178813

>What are we supposed to call Author?

Flag or maybe Hate(8)flag would probably be the most logical. I must admit I've been mentally calling him Hebulafag ever since I misread his trip one time. Perhaps we should ask what OP would like as a nickname?

[ ] Flag
[ ] H8flag
[ ] Hateflag
[ ] (?)
>> No. 178814
None, because if they wanted one the name field would be filled out?

totally going to catch up on this story one of these months
>> No. 178820
[x] Dream of youth

I still wonder just who the hell this guy is.
>> No. 178821

It's not so much that I don't want a nickname or whatever, so much as I don't really care either way. I prefer to remain incognito outside of these threads, but I also don't think nicknames are the sort of thing people should pick for themselves, so just go with whatever floats your boat.

As for the updates, if work wasn't a factor today, I would have tried to string it along a bit more than I did before giving it away. Since I can't do that, though, I thought it would be fun to do something else. Something that might not have to be limited to just one day or a couple of updates.

Which is where the choices come in. A couple might result in revisiting some old but only briefly treaded ground, one might be something slightly different, and one might either be completely different of just bring us back to where we were and continue as if nothing happened. If there's anything in particular you'd like to see, by all means bring it up, and if not, that's fine too.
>> No. 178822
[x] Dream of paths not taken

I am kinda curious about what we might have missed.
>> No. 178823
[ ]Dream a dream, lover, take me in your dream
Take me anywhere you please, boy
You're making me scream

But in all seriousness:
[x] Dream of the forgotten

We need to get back on track, even though all these side trips (emphasis on trips) are lovely to read
>> No. 178824
[X] Dream of the forgotten
First voter here, wanna change my vote to this, 'cause BLACK BOX and WASHING BLOODY HANDS REGULARLY.
Seriously we're still entirely in the dark on those.
>> No. 178831
[X] Dream of the forgotten

Maybe we will remember something! Of course, knowing Anon, he's probably going to forget it right afterwards. Ah well.
>> No. 178832
Oh shit, the BOX.

[x] Dream of the forgotten
>> No. 178835
Rereading a bit, I'm starting to think we were a youkai this entire time.
I am also reminded how much I love you author.
Perhaps we will have the chance to go down the road we long ago left?
>> No. 178847
We are the Youkai of unconsciousness
>> No. 178855
In the deepest recesses of your mind, you feel as if you had forgotten something. Something important.

Something like...a box?

No, no, of course not! You remember the box, and if you remember it then you clearly have not forgotten it! Just like you haven't forgotten about...

...what was that thing again? It was a thing, but with a thing inside it? A thing inside a thing that did a thing.

Okay, perhaps you have forgotten about that. Whatever it was. Then again, if you did forget about it, it's almost certainly because it was of little or no importance, and you will never have to worry about seeing it ever again.

Ever. Again.

While you try to think of anything else you may have forgotten, which proves to be quite difficult to do considering you don't even know what you've forgotten, aside from that one thing, you find your thoughts drifting back to that box.

That strange, ominous-looking box...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There once was a bird. Not an especially intelligent one, nor the most efficient.
He wasn't as fast as the others, as adept at stealth, and his memory was horrible.
He was, however, quite good for finding things in places they do not belong.

One day, while out on patrol, he found just such a thing.
This made the bird very happy, because he had not yet reached his quota for the period, and his annual performance review was quickly approaching.

He did not want to get a bad evaluation.
No one wants to get a bad evaluation.
He would not get that raise he wanted if he got a bad evaluation.
He would be lucky if all he got was a demotion.

So, it was quite fortunate of him to find what he did, when he did.
Indeed, with his discovery, he felt his position was secure.
His job, as well as his continued existence, were all but assured for the foreseeable future.

If only he had been more focused on his present, rather than the future, he may have noticed the roaming youkai before flying straight into her sphere of darkness.
If only he had heeded the advice from his last evaluation, where his tendency to daydream while in flight was brought up as one of his 'points for improvement'.

Alas, he did not, and that was the end of him...

But that's not really important, now is it?

[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] Maybe
[ ] Whatever
>> No. 178862
[X] Yes
It's very important.
What if the poor bird had a family, little bird children who are now without a parent? With them gone who will bring back the bacon. Really predators should be more cautions about who they eat.
>> No. 178863
[X] Maybe

The strange thing about side character backstories like this are that they sometimes are completely useless to remember, or there just happens to be some key element in them, however small, that actually makes them important.
Regardless of that fact, we have no idea which way the needle swings on this bird. Maybe he matters, maybe he doesn't, so who knows?
>> No. 178864
[X] Maybe
Well, Maybe it's related to the Black Box and its habit of making bad things happen to people who happen to pick it up?
>> No. 178865
[x] Maybe

Maybe this mysterious darkness youkai looted the box off the bird.
>> No. 178871
[x] Whatever
>> No. 178873
[X] Yes
It matters. Because of the egg. You remember it, don't you?

Then tell me, what came before? The egg or the youkai?
>> No. 178918
All we fucking wanted we're some scrambled eggs
>> No. 178929

Hey, we did get those, remember?
With a side of Koishi's panties, no less.
>> No. 179015
[X] Maybe
>> No. 179119
[X] Maybe.

It's well after the fact, but I just wanted to say that I read all of the evil spirits' lines in the voice of Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale.

Also, I read your tripcode as the sound of a man shouting or screaming angrily while vomiting.

Also also, "Oh boy. Oh jeez." made me giggle like no other.

Also also also, I would like you to know that I really appreciate all the little callbacks and references to The Game, and wish to congratulate you on doing more with the Kanako and Suwako that I envisioned than that story allowed for, which is something that's always disappointed me a little. You are nailing them exactly as I imagined them--even better, in fact. Maybe that was your intent, or maybe it was an accident. I'd like to think the fomer, because ego. Godspeed, you beautiful bastard.

P.S. "Black, form-fitting crop-top underneath her normal clothes"-Parsee was/is already canon for Resentment. I thought you might like to know that, for whatever reason.
>> No. 179120
[x] Yes

As if there was any doubt
>> No. 179346
You may think that it is, or it is not.
Either way, I only told you that story in order to tell you this next one.
Also, it's not. It really is not.

Anyway, there once was a little youkai who was very, very hungry.
So hungry, in fact, that she spent all of her time just wandering around in search of food.
From day to night, and night to day, she searched, yet could not find anything.
This is largely due to the fact that she often could not see anything.
It is, after all, quite difficult to see anything when on shuts out all rays of light, and insists on living in perpetual darkness.

One day, while engaged in her usual routine of aimlessly floating about with her mouth agape in the hopes that something edible might fly into it, she felt something warm and soft collide with her. Something not unlike, say, a bird of some sort.

Naturally, she ate it. As rare as it was for her to catch anything aside from the occasional tree to the face, she couldn't allow this moment of good fortune to escape her grasp.
From beak to tail feathers, it was completely and totally consumed by the little youkai.
And yet, that was not all, for there was something else that-

“It was the box, wasn't it?”

...that...and yet, that was not all, for there was someth-

“It's quite obvious where you're going with this. The youkai took the box that the bird was carrying. As she could neither eat it, nor figure out how to open it, she brought it to me in the hope of trading it for candy.”

...there was something-

“Left me quite a few feathers to clean up in the bargain, I might add. I'm still not certain I've found them all. In any case, yes, I am quite aware of how it came into my possession, and do not require any recounting of the events of yesterday, thank you very much.”

...and yet, that was not all, for there was-

“No, really, I mean it. You can stop. I understand your situation, but this is a waste of time for both of us. I know how the item came to be here, you know how it came to be here, and your master clearly knows all of this as well, so let us just move on to the question of why she sent you here.”

“...or are you unable to tell me that? Well, then, perhaps I can venture a guess. It's clearly of some interest to her, if she has been keeping tabs on where it is and who has it. That said, the fact that she has not simply taken it by now means that she either cannot, which seems unlikely, or she chooses not to. And, considering your sudden appearance and roundabout way of approaching the subject, I can only assume that she not only wanted the box to be here, but is also wants something from me pertaining to it. Since I doubt she has any interest its monetary value, the only other thing she could want that I could possibly provide is information on the object itself. As it so happens, I examined the box, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that it is...”

“...a box. It's a box. It is a six-sided, rectangular container used to safely store objects. It is made out of a synthetic material not entirely unlike what can be found in objects from the outside, and was likely produced fairly recently, relatively speaking. The seals adorning it, while unusual in design, serve to keep it from being opened, thus preventing anything on the outside from getting in. Or, for that matter, from whatever may be inside from getting out. Unfortunately, this also means I cannot identify anything about the contents, or if there even are any. Without a means of opening it, there is very little I can tell you about it that you probably didn't already know.”

“That can't be helped, then. Have you told anyone else about it, perhaps someone else who has shown an interest in it?”

“Aside from yourself and the youkai that traded it to me, I'm quite certain that no one else even knows it's here. I presently have it, ah, well... it's in a secure place.”

“That is probably for the best. Well then, I shall take my leave. Thank you for your time, and sorry about all of, well, that.”

“It's quite alright. I know you're just following your orders. If that's all, then I will go back to my-”

“It's just, she's so picky about the details! 'Respond in this way when he says this,' and 'tilt your head at this angle when you say that,' and so on, and for what? To help maintain whatever image of herself she is attempting to push this week? It's ridiculous, not to mention extremely inefficient! But, oh! Just listen to me! I must get back to my other tasks. Sorry, again!”

“Mmhm, mmhm, fine, fine.”

“Ah! That's right, there was one more message Master wanted me to give you. Here...”

“Mmhm, mm...hm? A note? What's is-”

“Sorry! She just told me to give it to you. Now I really must be going. Good day.”

“But what about... hm, gone. Ah well, let's see what this is all about. Hm? 'I already have~'? Just what is that supposed to mea-”

“...oh. Oh. Right. Of course. Of course you did.”

“Goddamn it, Yukari.”
>> No. 179348
>“Goddamn it, Yukari.”
A classic.
>> No. 179349
Hold still, she says? You can't hold still! You had to keep moving! You weren't going to save anyone by just standing still! Even a rock is not useful unless it's in motion!

And so, you do not hold still.
That is not a thing that is okay with you.
It is the opposite of okay.
It is not okay.
It is nokay.
Nokay, it was.
'It' being the act of not moving, which, when you think about it, isn't really an act.
Unless it was.
If one were to choose to not act, would that inaction be, itself, an act?
If doing nothing was, itself, a thing you could do, then by doing nothing you were actually doing something?
But if doing nothing was doing something, then you weren't really doing nothing, were you?
Yet, if the act of nothing was actually something, and that something was the thing you were doing, when what were you really doing if the thing you were doing was not a thing?

Thoughts like that make your head hurt.
Hurt like a blade cleaving through your skull.

Also, blades cleaving through your skull.
That is also a thing that makes your head hurt.
Lucky for you jerk your body to the side just in time to feel something long and sharp slice its way through the air beside you.
Not taking the time to even look back at your would-be assailant, you hop to your feet, shuffle to your right, flop yourself back down to the floor, and begin rolling around.

You were not content with simply moving. Not when your life was at stake.
No, at times like this, you had to move like you've never moved before!

“Hold still, please!” you hear the woman demand as the table you just rolled out from under is cleaved in half.

[ ] NEVER!

[ ] OKAY!


Sorry for the prolonged absence. There was a thing, I was worried it might be a bad thing, but it turned out to be a not-so-bad thing, but I still had to take some stuff because of that thing that made it hard to the stuff I should have been doing but have not been. So, yeah. Was kinda out of it for a while. All's well now, or at least as close to "well" as I can expect, so I'm going to try to finally get my ass back into the groove of things

All I will say in response is:

Good. Goooooooooood.

Which of those statements, if any, that is in response to, I will leave for you to decide.
>> No. 179360
[x] NEVER!

If there's something our protagonist can't do, it's staying still.
>> No. 179361
That felt utterly pointless. OH WELL.
>> No. 179362



It might have been, but at least it turns out we didn't get headgibbed earlier!
>> No. 179370


Was the problem life, computer or story related?
>> No. 179395
[x] NEVER!

No way.
>> No. 179405

I miss that story.

[x] NEVER!
>> No. 179428
“Never!” you shout defiantly, as another of the woman's swings misses its mark. Unless, of course, she meant to smash that vase, but you somehow doubt that.

“I am asking you nicely!” the woman with the questionable understanding of what 'nicely' means says, missing with yet another swing of her scythe. “Please! Stop! Moving!

“No! Thank! You!” you reply, as you narrowly avoid three more swings.

Swing, and a miss.
Swing, and a miss.
Swing, and yet another miss.

Though you're hardly measuring them, you can't help but get the feeling that each one is missing you by a smaller and smaller margin, as if she were correcting her aim, little by little. You don't want to imagine how screwed you would be if she had figured out how to do that from the very beginning.

Probably a lot, you assume.
Probably a lot.

Not that you have to worry, though! As long as you keep moving, you're confident that she won't be able to hit you! As long as you keep rolling around like this, as long as you keep movi-

...wait. You're not moving, all of a sudden.
Why are you not moving, you wonder? And what is this large, solid thing you just bumped up against?

Ah, of course. A wall.
That would do it.
Not that you're worried, yet. If you can't move in one direction, all you need to do is move in another!
Preferably sooner rather than later.
The lady is getting closer.

“This is for your own good, you know.” the woman says, readying herself for another swing. “Partial decapitation is hardly a pleasant way to die. Disembowelment, even less so.”

“Yeah, I don't think I would like either of those,” you admit, hard-pressed to disagree with her on that point. Having part of your head cut off would pretty much suck, you're sure. Not that having your entire head cut off seems much better, of course. Or the whole 'dying' thing in general. Not too fond of any of those things, really. You say as much to the lady as you push yourself up from the floor and assume a crouching position.

“Well, better that than the alternatives,” she says, the faintest sign of a smirk appearing on her face.

From out of the corner of your eye, you see a door to your left. To your right, a series of book cases. With a wall at your back, and a scythe-happy lady in front of you, it would seem you have only two directions in which you can move. Three, if you were really desperate. Or crazy. Or both.

[ ] Make a break for the door!

[ ] Sprint for the bookcases!

[ ] Charge the lady head-on!

[ ] Attempt to talk through your problems in a civilized manner!

[ ] Break down sobbing and beg her to not kill you!


I don't know if this makes it worse or better, but the update I wrote wasn't really what I had in mind when I made those options, but people wanted it to be about the box. So it turned into something about the box, instead of the other thing. The other thing may have also turned out to be pointless, but it was originally going to be more of an extended April Fools thing anyway.

Doesn't work so well when most of April has passed, unfortunately.

>Was the problem life, computer or story related?

>> No. 179429
[x] Sprint for the bookcases!

For once do the right thing here. Go run away as fast as you can!
>> No. 179430
[X] Charge the lady head-on!
She'll never expect you to charge someone with a weapon, thus, you won't get horribly killed!
There is absolutely no way this could possibly go wrong!
I see nothing wrong with this idea whatsoever!
>> No. 179431
[x] Sprint for the bookcases!
>> No. 179432
[x] Make a break for the door!

I feel that we should depart, now.
>> No. 179433
>Let's do the right thing for once.
>Is going to leave the girls corpse there and jet.
That's definitely the right thing to do.
>> No. 179434

Sorry, I meant to say:

What was your problem about? Your computer, your life or the story?

[x] Sprint for the bookcases!

They are either A)hindrances to her and and B)weapons for us by throwing them over.
>> No. 179442
[X] Make a break for the door!

>I don't know if this makes it worse or better, but the update I wrote wasn't really what I had in mind when I made those options, but people wanted it to be about the box. So it turned into something about the box, instead of the other thing. The other thing may have also turned out to be pointless, but it was originally going to be more of an extended April Fools thing anyway.

179362 here saying I actually completely missed the post about the box due to how the thread loaded. So ignore what I said about that possibly having been useless!
>> No. 179445
[X] Charge the lady head-on!

There's the very hard wall behind us, so we probably can't bust through it. I'm fairly certain she's softer than that wall, so our best bet is to go through her to get away from the hard wall, since we can't get through the wall itself. That's what we're voting for, right?
>> No. 179447
[x] Charge the lady head-on!
>> No. 179475
[X] Charge the lady head-on!
Scythes aren't good at that close of a range, assuming we can actually get that close.
>> No. 179476
[X] Baseball slide under the lady! Obligatory Safe remark if it works.
>> No. 179477
[x] Charge the lady head-on!

A critical hit!
Foe ELLY flinched!
>> No. 179494
The scythe-woman stands ready to take another swing at you.
On one side of you have what you can only assume is an exit to this room.
On the other side, you have potential obstacles and throw-able objects you could use.
Your back is, quite literally, against the wall.

Clearly, running straight at the woman is the best course of action.
If nothing else, it would probably be the last thing she would expect you to do.

As you recall, there was once a man who did just such a thing when cornered by a hungry youkai. With no other means of defending himself, he charged at the monster while loudly screaming, 'WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, EAT ME?!'

And then she did.
Who would've thought?
You suppose that's what hey call 'ironic'.

Or, wait, no. Was it that other thing?

In any case, you feel confident that this time will turn out better.
This time shall be different!

You can tell it will be different on account of her trying to kill you with sharp pointy things that aren't claws or teeth.
Whenever someone is trying to murder you, that is the best way to tell if they're doing it because they want to eat you, or because they just don't like you.
Youkai, as most people know, are not in the habit of carrying cutlery or eating utensils, making the use of their claws and teeth an absolute necessity to tear open their victims and get at the sweet, tender meats inside.

Unless, that is, they are some sort of knife or utensil youkai.
Then it could go either way.

...what would a chopstick youkai use to eat with, anyway?
Themselves? Another pair of chopsticks? Or would that be too weird for them?
You don't even want to imagine how awkward it would be if that other pair also because a chopstick youkai. One would try to explain themselves, while the other just sobs about how they were ruined for marriage.

And that is why you know this thing you are doing will work.

Like a coiled spring, your legs push you up from your crouch and send you rushing towards the woman.

The woman with the large scythe.

The woman with the large scythe that she is now swinging with a distinct lack of surprise on her face.

She's so close.

So close now.

So very...

Where did all this red come from?

So red so red so very very red and ow ow ow ow it hurts
it hurts why does it hurt so much so red so much red red red




“...hm. I would ask what you thought would happen, but no matter, what's done is done. Oh, and Kurumi? Kuruuuumi~? Oh, fine, I'll take it out.”

...hrngk! Grrgkle...

“There, that's better. When you're finished, be a dear and clean this up, would you please?”


“Don't be such a child. It's just your lungs, after all.”




- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


..hey, uh, hey? Oh, jeez, come on. Wake up already! O-oh, um, please? Pretty please?

You feel something.
Something poking you.
Prodding you.
But, more than that, you feel something else.

[ ] Warm and soft

[ ] Cold and cramped


>Sorry, I meant to say:
>What was your problem about? Your computer, your life or the story?

I know what you meant, I was just doing one of those things where someone answers a question they've been asked in a purposely vague manner.

Also, yes.
But also no.
And no, but maybe-sorta-tangentially yes.
But not in that order.
>> No. 179495
[x] Warm and soft

Well that hurt.
>> No. 179496
Fuck. What a bitch. Also, I believe that is called a mathematician's answer.
[X] Warm and Soft
>> No. 179497
[x] Warm and soft

That went about as well as expected.
>> No. 179499
I kind of guessed but started to doubt the clarity of my own sentence after reading it again.

[x]Warm and soft

Or blood.
>> No. 179500
[x] Cold and cramped

Misleading choices. I choose the other one.
>> No. 179501

[x] Cold and cramped
>> No. 179502
[X] Cold and cramped
Can't be uncomfortable if you are dead, so we clearly must still be alive.
>> No. 179507
[x] Warm and soft
>> No. 179508
[x] Cold and cramped

Aren't we supposed to be in some weird dreamscape thing thanks to Yuuka?
Is this a "If you die in the dream you die in REAL LIFE" sort of thing?
If so, we are immensely good at not-dying, and I am proud of it.
>> No. 179512
You feel yourself enveloped in warmth and softness, like a baby bird in its nest.
Or, in this case, an extremely comfortable bed.

”Hey. Heeeeeey.”

Once again you feel something poking you in the shoulder.
It hurts a little bit, but you find that hardly surprising, considering that was where you were...

Where you were...



Jolting upright, you quickly check yourself over.
Arms? Check.
Legs? Check.
Head, neck, torso?
Check, check, and check.
Everything you're supposed to have appears to be present and accounted for.
Most importantly, though? Still attached.

Your robe is also attached, much to your surprise.
No stains, no tears, not even so much as a loose thread.

It was almost enough to make you think that was all just a dream.
A dream of being horribly murdered by running towards someone in possession of both a deadly weapon and clear intend to use said weapon.

Of course, you would never do anything like that, would you?

...oh, who are you kidding? That is absolutely something you would do.
You wouldn't even think twice about it, would you?
Of course not.

“U-um...” you hear someone say from the foot of the bed. Looking up, you find a pair of eyes peering at you over the edge. “Hi.”

Though common courtesy would usually dictate returning her greeting, you are hesitant to respond, feeling somewhat uncertain about being greeted by someone you thought you saw die, yet was clearly not dead.

How is she not dead?
How are you not dead?
Is that why she's looking at you so strangely?
And why does it feel like they've changed colors?
For that matter, wha-

“Why aren't you dead?” the girl hiding at the foot of your bed asks, clearly also wondering about your mutual survival. Or, at least, your survival.

Though it is a question you wonder yourself, you nevertheless feel compelled to give the girl some sort of an answer.

...but what?

[ ] “I dunno.”

[ ] Shrug.

[ ] Lie.

[ ] Change the subject.
>> No. 179513
[x]"I dunno."
[x]Change the subject.

Would work.
>> No. 179514
[x] Change the subject.
>> No. 179515
[x] “I dunno.”

Well that is what he would say.
>> No. 179516
[x] "I dunno."

Kurumi, we could ask the same of you, really.
>> No. 179518
[X]I dunno
[X]Change the subject
[X]How are you not dead?
>> No. 179520
Well I forgot quotes and what I wanted to say.
I blame just waking up.
Anyway, how ARE we still alice? Do we have super regen powers?
...Are we actually a youkai? That was just a joke theory but now I might actually start thinking about it seriously.
>> No. 179523
The MC being a Youkai-like Youkai would explain a lot of things.

The Youkai of bad acid trips, that is!

[x] “I dunno.”
>> No. 179524
[X] Lie.
Because there are still dinners to be had and rocks to be thrown.
>> No. 179533
[x] "I dunno."
>> No. 179568
[x] "I dunno."
>> No. 179570
Just wanted to let you know that next month is the 4 year anniversary of you starting the story.
>> No. 179571
Huh. My Birthday is a direct week after. Neat.
>> No. 179575
Time flies, doesn't it?
Maybe I should do something for it?
Make a cake, for example.
Like my birthday!
Or cry myself to sleep while wondering where all that time's gone and what I've done with my life.
Like my birthday!

Seriously, though, it does feel like I should do something special for that. I have no idea what that could be, though.

Also, update is in progress, will likely be completed tonight.
>> No. 179588
“I dunno,” you say, simply.

There really isn't much else to say, really.
Things just happen, sometimes.

Strange things.
Unexplainable things.
Things that make anyone who witness them ask questions like, 'How did that not kill you?'
Or, 'No, seriously, how the hell are you still breathing right now?!'
The sorts of things and questions that are, more often than not, preceded by the words 'HEY GUYS, WATCH THIS!'

This is not one of those things, yet the question still remains.
A question that, like so many others, you have no ready answer for.
Why are you not dead?
You don't know.
Why is that girl not dead?
You don't know.
Life is simply full of mysteries, and there is no point in worrying about waaaaaaaaaaait a minute!

“Why aren't you dead?” you ask, turning the girl's question back on herself.

This seems to catch the girl off-guard, though she doesn't seem surprised so much as confused by your questioning her survival. “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhmm, hm, I'm...not? Or, no, wait. Wait! I remember this! I remember, it was, uh, ah... hm.” As she talks to herself, you see her eyes flitting about, as if the answer she was looking for was flying around in the air. “I was, but I'm not, except now...ummm...”

This continues for good two or three minutes, by your count. The girl, now with her arms folded on the bed, idly rocks her head from side to side. You can barely make out anything she's saying to herself, now, but you're pretty sure you heard something about 'stupid beans and fish heads'. Whatever that means. Thankfully, she quickly seems to settle upon some sort of conclusion after that, nodding to herself before looking at you with a gaze of utmost confidence.

“Yes,” she says, simply.

“Um, what?”

“Yes,” the girl repeats, with a nod.

[ ] Huh?

[ ] What.

[ ] No!

[ ] Okay.
>> No. 179593
[X] No!
This is not a yes question! Stop turning our shenanigans against us, damn it!
>> No. 179594
[x] No!
>> No. 179597
>stupid beans and fishhead

>> No. 179598
[x] No!
We're pretty much king of nonsensical over here. She doesn't even know what she's getting herself into.
>> No. 179599
[X] Nokay.

>> No. 179602
[x] No!
>> No. 179606
[x] No!
>> No. 179607
With how she's acting similar to us, I can't help but wonder if you're doing that Dual CYOA idea that came up once.
You totally would, too.
>> No. 179608
Indeed! A doppelganger appears!

[x] No!
>> No. 181983
The next thread is here: