Superstitious and Cowardly Lot: Issue 3 Inquisitor !.FvYxWfkmU 2011/03/14 (Mon) 17:27 No. 136755 ▼ File 130012362213.jpg - (1.15MB, 1600x1200 , Konachan_com - 72690 blue_eyes blue_hair flowers h.jpg)
Aching, sore joints wake me up from a dreamless void of rest, punctuated by loud banging on my bedroom door. Cracks of sunlight around the heavy curtain are strong enough to illuminate the room and force me awake; looking about, I see that the alarm clock reports that the time is noon. Crap, I slept in past ten. The banging on the door becomes more and more insistent.
"Bruuuuuuuuuuce!" Koishi's voice rings out, loud, angry. "Where were youuuuuuuuuuuu?!" Oh, no, I forgot to tell them I couldn't make it to dinner! "Bruuuuuuuuuuuce!" The banging gets even louder. Who knew that Koishi had so much upper body strength. I look around quickly, ensuring that my bat-posessions are hidden away; nothing but today's Kakashi Spirit News on the nightstand, the floor looks clear of capes, I can't see my utility belt... lastly, I check under the sheets. Nope, no pants, either. I look up.
"I'm awake!" I shout, and then the door opens, Koishi and Satori almost bursting in, Genji behind them. Satori seems nonplussed, but Koishi is openly pouting at me.
"W-where were you last night? We were gonna have drinks and karaoke and party til dawn! Bruce you stick in the muuuuuuuuuuud!" Koishi makes a whole lot of bluster she doesn't mean, waving her hands around and making a lot of noise. Satori, however, looks keenly at my face.
"Bruce, did you get into a fight?" She asks. Fffffffffffffff, I forgot to get my wounds heale-
"Master Bruce tripped down the stairs last night, Miss Komeiji." Genji lies easily for me, bringing in a platter carrying several cups of hot tea. Satori and Koishi each take one, and I do as well. A sip alerts me to the type; red tea. Genji always did have an odd taste in tea, but it's alright.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine, you two." Satori amazingly lets me finish my sentence, the two watching me quietly as I pick up the newspaper, taking a long sip of tea. Today's headline: Investigative Report: Exclusive Information on the Mysterious Batman of Gotham City! Plastered over the cover of the newspaper is a picture of me, swooping down onto a handful of thugs from above. Heh, I remember busting that drug deal; it was a slow night, an-
I spit my tea out, causing Koishi and Satori to squeak out in alarm as I take a better look at the article. What the hell?!
[ ] Panic.
[ ] Panic?
[ ] Panic!
[ ] PANIC!
Anonymous 2011/03/14 (Mon) 17:30 No. 136756 [X] PANIC!
CAPITAL LETTERS FOR CAPITAL PANIC
Anonymous 2011/03/14 (Mon) 17:35 No. 136758 [X] Panic?
Uncertain panic.
Anonymous 2011/03/14 (Mon) 17:59 No. 136763 [x] Calmly take an additional sip of tea and repeat your spittake. This shit is seriously mind boggling business.
Press_Start 2011/03/14 (Mon) 19:30 No. 136773 [x] Calmly take an additional sip of tea.
Anonymous 2011/03/14 (Mon) 20:42 No. 136778 [X] Panic?
Uh-oh, the tengu are striking back with the press.
Anonymous 2011/03/14 (Mon) 21:55 No. 136788 [x] Calmly take an additional sip of tea.
Anonymous 2011/03/14 (Mon) 22:05 No. 136789 [x] Calmly take an additional sip of tea.
Why did we miss out on dinner again?
Inquisitor !.FvYxWfkmU 2011/03/15 (Tue) 00:11 No. 136810 ▼ File 130014787771.png - (212.23KB, 700x600 , koishi sisters.png)
[x] Calmly take an additional sip of tea.
Instead of freaking out or revealing my hand, I calmly take a sip of tea, assessing the situation. Koishi and Satori have some red tea on them, but thankfully Genji uses prestidigitation, and quickly potential stains are removed from their clothes. But more importantly, there's the newspaper in front of me. How am I supposed to deal with this issue? Further inspection details the writer: Hatate Himekaidou. She writes that the Batman is most definitely real, and that she is undertaking investigative reports to find out what the Batman is; a monster? A youkai? A freak of science? A man in a silly costume? I frown as I read through this.
"What the hell, Bruce?!" Uh oh, Koishi looks really mad now. She looks ready to say more, but Satori cuts her off.
"Bruce is sorry about that." That wasn't quiiite what I was going to start with, but Satori's reputation for knowing what people are thinking clearly enough to say what they're going to say is enough to Koishi to turn to her. "He's been really busy at work, as you can see. Why, he was so tired he fell down the stairs." She points to my bruises, and Koishi nodnods at her, giving me a less grumpy look. "He's also promising to... what's that Bruce?" Satori smiles a bit. "Take us out for lunch at the Luna Azure?" Satori makes a mocking grin of pleased surprise. "Why, thank you, Brucie! You're truly a generous friend."
Damnit, bamboozled again. I nod sheepishly, Koishi turning to me with a huge grin. "Yep, that's the plan. Go to the main hall, once I get dressed I'll catch up with you and we can go." Koishi lets out a "yippie!" and runs off, Satori winking to me before she follows. Once they're out and the door's closed, I let out a long sigh.
Those crazy, crazy kids.
~
The Luna Azure is a high end Italian restaurant on the edge of the business district. It used to be populated by the godfathers of the Italian mob, company Bruce Wayne would have never kept, before a certain Batman cleaned them out. Now it's open to all members of the upper class, and soon enough I find myself in a tuxedo, with Koishi and Satori sitting across from me, eating away. I myself ordered a grilled pepper penne, with extra garlic bread.
"And then, and then..." Koishi begins a joke, halfway through her third glass of wine. "And then I told him 'Busy? Sir, it's a madhouse!'" Koishi laughs loudly, Satori rolling her eyes at Koishi's silly jokes. I chuckle a bit myself, looking out the window. Satori looks to me.
"Hey, Bruce." I look back to her, meeting deep eyes staring into my own. "What do you think of this whole Batman thing?"
Urk.
[ ] I think he's a menace and should be behind bars.
[ ] Well, it seems like he's trying to help.
[ ] I bet he's a monster or something.
[ ] Batman? What, did Bat Boy grow up or something?
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 00:19 No. 136814 [x] Shrug noncommittally.
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 00:48 No. 136817 [X] Batman? What, did Bat Boy grow up or something?
Avoid the question, Bruce! Snark is an added bonus.
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 00:53 No. 136821 [X] Well, it seems like he's trying to help.
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 00:55 No. 136822 [X] Well, it seems like he's trying to help.
-[X] But that's not a reason to believe he's above the law. He could become as big a threat to the public as the criminals he fights.
Great, now I'm worried Satori will go down the Hugo Strange route, while Koishi becomes Harley Quinn.
Press_Start 2011/03/15 (Tue) 00:58 No. 136823 [X] Batman? What, did Bat Boy grow up or something?
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 01:35 No. 136825 [X] Batman? What, did Bat Boy grow up or something?
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 02:03 No. 136826 [X] Well, it seems like he's trying to help.
-[X] But that's not a reason to believe he's above the law. He could become as big a threat to the public as the criminals he fights.
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 02:14 No. 136828 [x] Well, it seems like he's trying to help.
-[x] But that's not a reason to believe he's above the law. He could become as big a threat to the public as the criminals he fights.
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 02:22 No. 136833 [X] Batman? What, did Bat Boy grow up or something?
I hope not. Bruce needs friends, with Barbara being in another dimension and all.
Anonymous 2011/03/15 (Tue) 17:38 No. 136905 [X] Well, it seems like he's trying to help.
- [X] But that's not a reason to believe he's above the law. He could become as big a threat to the public as the criminals he fights.
The classic response.
Anonymous 2011/03/16 (Wed) 03:48 No. 136982 [x] Well, it seems like he's trying to help.
-[x] But that's not a reason to believe he's above the law. He could become as big a threat to the public as the criminals he fights.
Not really sure if I shouldn't go for the Bat Boy vote instead, but oh well.
Anonymous 2011/03/16 (Wed) 22:24 No. 137087 >"And then, and then..." Koishi begins a joke, halfway through her third glass of wine.
Koishi, you lush~
Inquisitor !.FvYxWfkmU 2011/03/17 (Thu) 08:48 No. 137185 ▼ File 130035170010.png - (636.01KB, 624x778 , Koishi_Komeiji__alphes_by_Formless_God.png)
[x] "Well, it seems like he's trying to help."
-[x] "But that's not a reason to believe he's above the law. He could become as big a threat to the public as the criminals he fights."
Satori nods, twirling her spaghetti with her fork. Her eyes don't break from mine, gazing into my heart, my brain. "I see. A very reasonable answer, Bruce." The spaghetti on her fork becomes a larger and larger spool. "I wonder if he thinks the same way..." Satori sighs, before taking a bite out of the spaghetti. Nom.
"I think..." Koishi looks over with a biiig smile, leaning forwards and pouring her bottle of wine into Satori's empty water glass. "I think you need to have a little and quit bein' so serious." Satori yelps and leans back, the wine flowing freely into her glass. "Come on, Brucie's buyin', you should have as much as you want~"
"Koishi, you shouldn't be drinking so much before work." Satori speaks bluntly, grabbing the wine bottle away from her. "What would the director say?" Koishi rolls her eyes.
"Who cares what that ol' stick in the lick says?" Koishi grabs Satori's glass and downs it, giving me a blushing look. "Besides, Brucie here is a lotta fun, huh?" Dangit. I consider reaching over to take the glass from her, but something else catches the corner of my eye, and I turn to look at it, leaving Satori to try to calm her sister down.
A woman in a trenchcoat with a red and white bow over her head. A woman in an office uniform, a strange looking hat on her head that defies explination. I recognize both; Hakurei and Yamaxanadu, the District Attorney. The two walk to a corner booth, taking a seat and discussing something I can't hear.
"Bruuuuucie!" Koishi speaks up more loudly, grabbing my attention by tapping the table with her fork. "Tell Satori I'm fine!" Satori, next to her, facepalms.
"Bruce, tell her she needs to wait til after work."
1.
[ ] Satori's right.
[ ] Koishi's right.
2.
[ ] Make an excuse to escape, then go eavesdrop on Hakurei and Yamaxanadu
[ ] Make an excuse to escape, then go approach Reimu and Yamaxanadu.
[ ] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 08:50 No. 137186 [X] Koishi's right.
[X] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
Stand them up once, it's acceptable. Stand them up twice, you can hardly call yourself a gentleman anymore, Brucie.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 08:59 No. 137187 [x] Satori's right.
[X] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
I'm mainly siding with Satori because I don't want to see Koishi do something stupid at work or get fired.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 09:01 No. 137188 [x] Satori's right.
[x] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
I don't give a shit about the Director, Koishi doesn't need to be tipsy when dealing with inmates.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 11:08 No. 137192 [x] Koishi's right.
[x] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
Koishi is a big girl, and has presumably done this before. She can handle herself. Besides, I don't want to ruin her good mood.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 12:33 No. 137197 [x] Satori's right.
[x] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 14:48 No. 137208 [x] Satori's right.
[x] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 15:56 No. 137217 [X] Satori's right.
[X] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
Koishi needs to learn some restraint. Getting hammered before you go to work at an insane asylum is not a good idea. She is supposed to make rational judgements about her patients.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 17:51 No. 137228 [X] Satori's right.
[X] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
Inquisitor !.FvYxWfkmU 2011/03/17 (Thu) 18:30 No. 137240 ▼ File 130038661051.jpg - (50.92KB, 550x490 , Satori jiii.jpg)
[x] Satori's right.
[x] Stay, you jerk. You can talk to Hakurei tonight.
I decide against eavesdropping on Hakurei. It's regrettable, but I have a feeling she wouldn't want to see me, anyways. I look back to Koishi, this time deftly reaching over and taking the wine glass out of her hand, and pulling it out of her reach, eliciting a whine from the woman.
"Your sister's right, Koishi." A somewhat stern tone, but understanding. "You've got work after this. You should save your fun time til your day off." Koishi gives me a pout.
"You skipped out on us last night, don't be a narc!" I can't tell her I was learning how to not break my neck using a tool for Batman. "Mister Playboy you!" Her words are punctuated by a hiccup. Satori leans over and rubs Koishi's back, sighing.
"What am I going to do with you..." Satori asks, almost sounding exasperated. Koishi lets out a little whine in reply, folding her arms and pouting... but not moving away from Satori's care. Satori looks to me as Koishi pouts.
"Did you see Reimu walk in?" I nod quietly. "Why don't you go talk to her?" I shake my head again.
"It's been too long. She didn't really like me much when we were kids; it was her mom that wanted to help." It's not a memory I like to speak of fondly; my words are short, and Satori nods and changes the topic.
"I heard the Kochiya's child has made her way back home." Heh, really now? "I'm due for an appointment with her in a couple of hours. Interesting, that." Satori takes a sip of water, eyes never leaving mine. "You have quite a few childhood friends, Bruce."
"I guess." I laugh, brushing my hair back. "But without you two, where would I be?"
"Probably still in bed." A smile plays on Satori's lips.
~
"Mister Wayne, there's someone who wishes to see you." Merlin speaks up as I walk into the office, the girl completely nonplussed at my sudden arrival. "Miss Hatate Himekaidou, of the Kakashi Spirit News." My good mood from lunch is totally destroyed as this comes on me. "She wants to talk to her about her latest expose. Shall I send her away?" Merlin gives me a little smile, and I'm reminded; that kind of article probably seems like a tabloid to most people.
"Also, Miss Kawashiro wanted to talk to you about her former department and some funding issues. She has an appointment scheduled at two-thirty." That's right, I have to talk to Dr. Whiterock for Nitori; she must be scheduling the appointment to tell me. Well, it's two, so I have a little time...
1.
[ ] See Himekaidou.
[ ] Send her away.
2.
[ ] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
[ ] Batman might be suited for that conversation.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 18:52 No. 137244 [X] See Himekaidou.
[X] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
Gotta maintain the "Bruce Wayne" persona in the public eye. Also, it's a good idea to know what Cirno's willing to tell her boss while keeping an eye out for things that don't add up. Then we can do the Batman investigation.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 19:34 No. 137255 [x] Send her away.
[X] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
Seeing Hatate would only lend credence to that rag. If the public opinion of her Spirit News is poor, giving attention to it would only serve to our detriment. Instead, we should use this spare time to prepare for our confrontation with Whiterock.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 20:28 No. 137263 [x] Reschedule with Hatate for in a few days, Your a very busy man after all.
-[x] Make mental note to prove Batmans good intentions to her before the appointment, as Batman.
[x] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
Maintain innocence until you can improve her opinion of Bats, nothing in her report linked Bats and Bruce directly after all, this maybe innocent opinion gathering. Also she may just barge in or otherwise extract info some other way if we just send her away.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 21:05 No. 137270 [X] See Himekaidou.
[X] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
I think we should oblige her but be very Bruce and not so much Batman. I mean like playing it as a chance reinforce things and convince her that we can't be Batman. And there's no need to go batman on Dr. Whiterock just yet.
I'm kinda disappointed that Bruce didn't go further into things. But seriously we should keep our appointments and not flake out on our good friends.
Anonymous 2011/03/17 (Thu) 23:51 No. 137287 [x] Send her away.
[x] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
I would like to bang Hatate senseless, but eh. She writes a tabloid, if she really wanted to talk to us she'd ambush us in a hallway.
Anonymous 2011/03/18 (Fri) 01:09 No. 137302 [x] See Himekaidou.
[x] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
Anonymous 2011/03/18 (Fri) 01:32 No. 137306 [X] See Himekaidou.
[X] Prepare to talk to Whiterock.
Anonymous 2011/04/01 (Fri) 16:33 No. 138862 Hey Inquisitor, are you still alive? Remember that "four updates a week" promise? Two weeks without updates isn't a very good April Fools joke.
Anonymous 2011/04/10 (Sun) 22:27 No. 139490 He blames his worthlessness of having to do 4 "thick-as-fuck" papers over the past month. I'll personally smack the mexican if he hasn't updated by the time I see him in 2 weeks.
Anonymous 2011/05/07 (Sat) 08:07 No. 140715 The author says now that he's wrapped up his classes, he should be able to write again and to expect one sometime on Monday or very early Tuesday.