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804 No. 804
One fine winter day, a little girl screamed,
“And then you multiply, the solution is nine!”
And all the class laughed, for to all it seemed,
The answer was something she could not divine.

The students all left, the day bell rung,
The little girl strode fuming, her mood poor.
Yet next to her, another girl sung,
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, we all make mistakes, to you I assure.”

“Not me, not I, because I’m the best!”
“I know, I know, you are most definitely strong.”
And so the two little girls kept talking in jest,
Together they went, the hours just ticking along.

The little girl asked, “What gift would I want?”
“Yes, yes! A gift, a Christmas gift,” her friend then said.
“What is a Christmas? Is it something we flaunt?”
The friend, so horrified, went on to spread,

The good news of Christmas, a time so dear.
“Presents and goodwill to those we admire,
We celebrate and party and commemorate the year!”
The majesty of the day, the girl grew to desire.

“I see! If it’s this soon, then I have to make ready!”
Off the girl vanished, quickly flying from sight,
“But wait, wait, you never told me! Don’t go already!”
Her friend left alone, shouting into the night.

The next day the girl woke, her mind a blur.
She kept in mind an important, singular goal,
“What gift could I possibly retrieve for her?
She deserves the best, not something so droll.”

In a stroke of brilliance, it came to the girl,
“A book! She oh so loves a good book.”
This was the gift she would give for a whirl,
The best gift of all, but where could she look?

And so the girl thought of the scary black-white
Who she so often saw flying over the wall.
“Yes, Marisa would dare fly in open daylight,
And steal books from the mansion in a lucrative haul!”

Off the girl flew at a fevered pitch,
Over the lake, she passed by quick,
And up over the wall, just like the witch,
But brought down to earth by the weight of a brick.

“Sorry little fairy, the mistress says no,
We've got a whole party that we must prepare for.”
The gatekeeper stood firm, a competent foe,
The girl glared at the guard, an obstacle she could not ignore.

“Nu-uh, I know that you can’t possibly stop me.
I'll blow right past you and then be on my way!”
With a cry and a shout, the girl didn't flee,
She launched her assault true, with a liberal danmaku spray.

The guard was undaunted and clashed with the girl,
A colorful rainbow found above and below.
Yet the girl charged through with an icy twirl,
And with her fists attempted to land a mighty blow.

But that was her mistake, her aching flaw,
For the guard was awaiting with her expert riposte.
Down the girl went, a punch to her jaw,
Stopping her attempt and leaving it, unfortunately, toast.

The girl lay defeated, her spirit sadly crushed,
Unable to overcome the inexorable trend.
“Wow that was great, you did quite well!” The guard then gushed.
“It wasn't, I didn't, I failed again,” the girl replied, aghast at the end.

“What? Huh? Why are you crying?”
“Cause I failed! I can't get the gift she deserves to get!”
“Who? What gift? For what have you been trying?”
“A book! I wanted a book she would never forget.”

“Oh, is that all you needed?” The guard smiled with cheer,
She turned right inside and reemerged in no time.
“Here you go. Give this to the one you hold dear.”
The girl took the offering and spun on a dime.

“Thank you oh thank you you're such a kind friend.”
The girl waved farewell and flew off in great haste,
"Goodbye, so long," the guard nodded, and then went to attend,
Her lonely, solemn post where she was importantly based.

Colors shined in the night, the land a sheet of white,
And the girl dived low, loudly right into the snow.
There her friend stood, in quite a sudden fright,
So up jumped the girl, positively aglow.

“Look, I got you a gift! It was tough to get, I admit.”
Her friend took the present and answered with bliss.
“Why Cirno, thank you, I like it, I really quite like it.”
Then the friend leaned over and gave her a kiss.

With a flourish the friend revealed her own good surprise,
“And this is for you! I hope, I hope you truly adore it,”
“I do, I love it,” the girl looked in her friend's eyes,
“Thank you Akyuu, you're the best, it's the perfect fit!”

The two girls, book in hand, flower in hair,
Told each other with the utmost care,

“Merry Christmas!”


Factorial Zalsa, hitting you with those unconventional pairings until you die! Uh, I should work on that tagline…

Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, you’re going to accept my well wishes and you’re going to like it! Thanks for reading. Stay safe and enjoy your non-apocalyptic holiday!

Ugh, this was a pain to write. Practice be damned, I won’t be trying this again for a while. I’ll stick to my crappy walls of prose.
No. 805
Yessssssssss. He's taken the nick!
No. 806
Manly tears of joy were had.
No. 807
I can't look at my trip and not read it that way. Besides, it's better than anything I'd ever come up with; nice and ridiculous, just the way I like it.

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