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File 149110331994.jpg - (137.96KB, 850x978, sample_d0244c30f2d7fcd76b00a38624e271fc.jpg) [iqdb]
Sakuya stood at the table at the end of the gathering room in the mansion, speaking to everyone seated on the benches opposite her, which consisted of Meiling and nobody else.

“I have an announcement for you. You are all to kiss Remilia’s hairy arse, and then storm the walls of the Human Village, but first, we must have an auction to sell this tiny little sword.” Sakuya reached behind the table to pull out what looked like a steel cocktail sword and put it on the table. One could hear the joints in her arm crack as she did so. “I can’t even see it it’s so fucking small. Is there any takers?”

“Uh,” Meiling slowly raised her arm, looking around the room as she did, “I.. have an offer… for the maid,” Meiling adjusted her beret by moving it up and down twice, “the chief… maid- in the, uh, weird hat, uh, I offer fifty yen, for that thing.” Meiling breathed in.

Sakuya looked incredibly offended, “Fifty yen!? You are a peasant, I want seventy-three!”

Seventy-three,” Meiling stood up from the bench, “FACKING YEN,” Meiling then proceeded to take the top half of her dress and undershirt off, the beret flying off with it.

YOU MUST BE A PHUCKING MADMAD, YOU MOTHER FUCK-” Meiling charged the table and leaped over at Sakuya-


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File 151405906538.jpg - (116.30KB, 642x767, Christmas Banki.jpg) [iqdb]
What I wouldn't give to find out what eggnog tastes like.

This the proper board?

Oh, well.


“Christmas? What’s christmas?”

You and Sekibanki simultaneously react to Kagerou’s ignorance of what is probably one of the most well-recognized dates of the year in the outside world by spitting out your tea. If Keine’s shouts of protest are any indication, you’ve both chosen the same unfortunate target for the synchronized spit-take.

“How can you not know about christmas?” you ask, turning to the direction Kagerou’s voice came from.

“Er, well… It’s not like I haven’t heard of it!” she protests, clearly sounding pressured. “They celebrate it at the Moriya shrine, I just don’t know what it is exactly.”
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I wasn't aware that eggnog was something you could make at home to be honest. Always thought that was something you could only buy in the states. Gotta love Asian Christmas.

I didn't even know they sold ready-made stuff. I must be getting old.
>Nemuno's THP debut
Actually, someone on /at/ beat OP to that.

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I should check more, but I had to make a decision. This is fine.


Laugh. Think. Believe the ideas created. Life can flourish on its own. But it needs to exist with life to do so.

Even with that white hair. Even with those eyes that will see everything in an eternity. I could stop. Like my footsteps. Just. Like. This. Or maybe, pause, do something different, defying what is considered logic. Defying “logic” and “reason”, as defined by others. Or whatever it is that's the argument. Or criticism. No, this is just a bit of my venting on something unrelated to her now. And even that wouldn't be right. Yes, this is pitiful. But what's important isn't the intention, but the existence of understanding the meaning behind two thoughts. Two thoughts. Right. Now I'm just exaggerating.

But really. If someone's annoyed by a bit of bamboo and can't observe the forest, then I don't quite understand it. But I suppose I see her annoyance the same way, on a tangent direction.

Someone might have noticed by now. But I can afford the time. I know, without certainty, that I will be able to escape. And even if I get caught somehow, there are no consequences for me. No. I'm not some almighty existence that defies the logic of power. I am not magically resistant and capable to overcome every challenge I face. Especially not in Gensokyo.

“I'm not lost.”

I hope that's all I need to say.
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File 150603652035.png - (69.02KB, 152x223, THIS OAR.png) [iqdb]
The crunching of paper.

So wet. So moist.

Your tiny boat didn't stand a chance.

The water kept seeping in… You could feel it penetrating the borders.

Shriveling the skin. Turning the paleness into a sickly, wrinkled yellow.

The hat, ribbon torn by the current. Your skirt, shrinking and ripping as you claw for air.

Your arms burn, nearly ripping at the seams as you struggle to breathe. Struggle for the surface. Water invades your chest. So close. The sun is so close. Freedom.

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File 150672907531.jpg - (215.92KB, 850x601, in a tree.jpg) [iqdb]
“Woah Daiyousei, the view from your house is so awesome!”

At the end of a long day, along the shore of the Misty Lake, in the uppermost branches of a certain tree were two young fairies. At first glance, this would not seem to be such an unusual thing to find in the land of Gensokyo. Gensokyo was home to many trees, with many young fairies frolicking among the many branches, usually making mischief for any unsuspecting humans or youkai below. What made this particular tree so unique was the fact that these two particular fairies were not frolicking at all, but were in fact sitting. For this particular tree was planted in just the right spot, that the waterfalls and rivers of the Youkai Mountain could be seen reflected in the calm waters of the misty lake, set aglow in the beautiful oranges and yellows of the setting sun.

“Thanks Cirno. This view is the whole reason I picked this tree to live in.”

The two fairies sat close together, contentedly watching the sunset in silence. However, although the view was breathtaking, one of the fairies found it difficult to focus on it. For this fairy had something weighing heavily upon her mind.

This is it Daiyousei, the fairy thought to herself. You’re all alone with Cirno watching a beautiful sunset together. Now is the perfect chance to tell her how you really feel about her.

“Um… Cirno. There’s something really important that I have to tell you.”

“What’s up Dai?” Asked the ice fairy, quickly taking her eyes off the view to focus on her friend.

“Well… you see,” Daiyousei nervously began. “We’ve been friends for a long time right?”
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File 150673347763.jpg - (664.75KB, 1407x1000, hunt or be hunted.jpg) [iqdb]
"Graaaagh! I've had it!"

Luna Child punched the nearest available tree trunk in frustration, stirring up a cloud of startled insects.

"We've been wading, through a swamp, in the rain, for four hours. I'm covered from head to toe in mud, mosquito bites and bug guts, because some genius had the bright idea of swatting them with a giant exploding hammer!"

She slumped against the tree and slid into a half-sitting position.

"I wanna go home."

"We all do, Luna," Marisa replied, leaning tiredly on her sword.

"At least you're not up to your neck in river water," Luna shot back.

Marisa winced; as the shortest of the party, Luna was the worst off by far.
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File 149821204233.png - (49.64KB, 325x498, such a jolly girl.png) [iqdb]

"...Why?" I ask.

The pale girl shrugs, cocking her head. "She was on fire and looked exceptionally angry with me, so she was probably a bad person."

"That... is actually not bad thinking at all," I admit. "Still, Mokou's weird and also immortal so basically it's okay to kill her in a fight, but-”

what the shit was that” says Mokou, sitting up as those holes in her head regenerate remarkably quickly.

“Should I shoot her again?” Altina asks.

“No,” I say immediately, eyes flicking between the smoldering phoenix and the not-quite-right girl training fingers on the former. “No, don't-”

Altina shoots her again, a flurry of blue lasers bursting from her fingers, blasting Mokou's face clean off. I cringe as the woman flops down again.
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File 149821214314.jpg - (282.54KB, 800x800, general feelings at the moment.jpg) [iqdb]

Sunshine beats down on my head as I glower at the ashen remains of my stand. There's quite a bit of roasted forest all around me, but the Rabbit Fire Brigade stopped the worst of it. Small comfort for me when I'm gonna have to rebuy, oh... pretty much everything I owned, but, y'know, hooray for trees.

All this because I didn't turn off the stove.

Nice going, me.

I cover my face in my hands. "Ffffffffffffffffffff-"

There's a whumpfh of someone landing nearby.

"This one's not my fault," Mokou says, strolling up to study my wrecked business.

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File 149884721242.jpg - (71.61KB, 567x567, __genjii_touhou_and_touhou_pc_98_drawn_by_cielo_za.jpg) [iqdb]
Old, wrinkled eyes stared back at seemingly younger, brighter ones; both of the two knew that this simply wasn't the case, but appearances are hard to ignore. Even to a youkai such as her. Or, perhaps it could be said that it should be the case. He was old — very old for a turtle. And, likewise, she was young for her species.

The young turtle of graying hair, and the old kappa of vibrant youth. An odd pair to consider as anything but elder and youth, though one would have to assess who to call which.

The great turtle that had long played the part of caretaker of the Hakurei wasn't sure what to think of the one that looked as young as his charge. Not when she was making eyes at him, or so he thought. In truth, being a turtle, he wasn't attracted to the features of any resemblance to a human. Flushed cheeks, a cute face, perky breasts and a sweet ass were all things she had in spades, and not one of these things truly appealed to him. Much like humans react to a dog, the old turtle could recognize these assets of hers from an outsider's perspective, but wasn't attracted one bit.


The aqua eyes turned downcast, and the kappa let out a held breath, as if that breath contained all of the hopes that she held. She did what she could to refrain from trembling or crying, but he saw that lip tremble once or twice. He knew.

As she turned to leave, Genjii sighed. "Wait." Before those eyes could once more fill with hope, he said, snuffing it like a candle, "I don't return your feelings. ...Well, that's not quite right. Thing is, you're a pretty young thing, but I'm just a turtle. And, well... none of what you have is any more attractive to me than a dog is to you." Quickly changing gears before she could think too deeply on that, he added, "Besides, even ignoring that: I'm old. I've lived a long life. All the way to the point of doubling the age any turtle should be reaching."

He didn't think it would work, but he had to at least try talking some sense into the girl. Sure, he
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I dislike this on a level I didn't realize I could dislike fanfiction. Congratulations.
Would you say it was...shitty?

Absolutly not. It's very well done.

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File 14906543231.png - (116.55KB, 256x308, Th09MedicineMelancholy.png) [iqdb]
Since I don't know where to put the "derp" that I think is this CYOA, here we go...

I was sitting down, trying to figure out what to eat for dinner… I had gotten nowhere, until I gave up, and thought, “Let’s just order a pizza.” And I did so, having to go through a minute or two of the hassle that was ordering a pizza through the landline. Eventually, I did get my order in, but, when I was about to hang up, I felt a poke in my side.


[ ] Try to get the mystery poker to stop
[ ] Ignore the mystery poker
[ ] Write in?
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[X]Boop them back.
This story is going places, I can feel it.
Guess not.

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File 148748276064.png - (511.64KB, 703x750, Doremy.png) [iqdb]
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" The girl says, bowing mockingly. Her robes flow as she does, bringing to mind rustling flowers.

"You know exactly why, parasite." I shoot back immediately. The scowl on my face is unbecoming, but I really don’t care right now.

She smiles at me and spreads her arms wide to gesture at the endless field of lotus flowers surrounding us. A minute passes before she deigns to respond. "They are happy here. Everyone is happy here. Surely, you won't take that from them?"

That's what she always leads with. The happiness of her victims, as if she actually cares about them.

"I couldn't care less. Taking a few can be overlooked, even an entire island, like you used to. But you just had to get greedy, and spread like a damned weed. Now I have to deal with a shared dream the size of a nation! Do you have any idea how much of a problem that is?" I start shouting at her halfway through. Why can’t she just understand what she’s doing?

For the first time in years, Lotus’ carefree smile breaks. Her contempt is palpable now. “Greece is my land. I will not just give it up now that I have finally united it under my peace. Furthermore, it is your job to maintain the sanctity of dreams to begin with. I refuse to change at your leisure.”

That insolent—”It isn’t possible to keep something that size from interfering with other dreams!”

“And if it does, yet more would experience true peace. I see no wrong in that inevitability.” She doesn’t seem to understand at all. Her mask of tranquility has reformed, and she’s back to being hard to read.
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Well, since nothing's happening I'll just go with the first vote.
Dead or nah?

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File 148522394823.jpg - (70.83KB, 850x472, Don't hit on grandma.jpg) [iqdb]
If not "Veteran", what better term is there?

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File 14881746113.png - (644.52KB, 700x750, cfbea634bc194dbb270a7dd41cdd3d72.png) [iqdb]
At the dark edge of that place, a girl stands
One fateful day, a stranger came to her
And as she made to question them, the stranger asked:
"What matter made your face frown so?"
Offended, the girl lowered her scythe and replied:
"What do you know about me?"
After she asked, the stranger took their leave.

The next day the girl stood, guarding as she always did
As did previous, the stranger approached her
And as she made to ask again, the stranger spoke:
"I see your mistress has left you."
Bewildered, the girl raised her scythe and replied:
"What do you know about her?!"
So she said, as the stranger withdrew.
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File 148817726470.jpg - (110.06KB, 850x532, 0a63db10357d2687dc4aa68cad0459de.jpg) [iqdb]
“What a beautiful song.”

Those were the first words she heard from the girl.

Benben froze, taking her hands off of the biwa. Yatsuhashi gaped her mouth open.

“Thank...you.” A tingle ran through Benben's cheeks.

It was strange. Not that what seemed like a normal, human girl complimented her, or the bright smile that she had on her. No, what was strange was the trace of faintness that the girl exhibited. A humble, withdrawn voice. It was for this reason Benben asked.

“Your name?”

And the girl responded.

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File 148818065494.jpg - (354.54KB, 909x607, remorse without end.jpg) [iqdb]
Through the woods, the poor child wandered, lost and chilled from autumn's cold. Struggled, he did, through the paths untrod, towards that village he called home. The forest's green expanse was slowly yielding to the frosty, frigid gale. The poor boy stumbled through that clime, tumbling into a meadowed lea.

There in the center stood a sight that had never touched the poor mortal's eyes. Far from the boy in this vast, desolate vale, stood a woman in a gown burnished by autumn's warm embrace. She slowly spun in a circle, her arms all outstretched, her hands gracing the leaves, needles, and even the bare blades of grass.

From every last touch, the child could but witness as the life faded from the great, healthy wood. Strong supple leaves would fade and embrittle. With every soft touch, the green placidly vanishes, with yellows and reds taking its righteous place. The grass that she trod upon crinkled and browned, the same as all caught in the hem of her frock.

The child barely reckoned the scope of his witness, vaguely kenning all the dread miracle happening before his eyes. He just saw the delicate woman clad in autumn’s colors spinning and twirling and carousing about. A strange feeling arose, deep in his chest, at the splendor that his earthly eyes had never touched on before. With no instincts halting, the child arose and walked o’er the meadow towards the dancer of leaves.

The woman’s head crooked and her dance finally ended; she spied the visitor to her small, seasonal waltz. As her gown finally fell flat to her sides, the woman knelt to look the child right in the eyes.

There were no words that desired flight from the poor boy’s lips, stunned into silence at this divine visage. Never before had he seen a face that shone with such vigor; rare was it that he even had seen one naked of dirt. Trembling, a small hand arose, its owner enthralled with the holy vision. Something within begged him to lay hands on the angel, not bothered by the blessings she had bestowed to all before.

Gently, spindly hands sought out and captured his arms, and with the barest of shakes she told all desired
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