A Peaceful summer was taking place, the summer brings happiness to humans, Youkais dreams in the day, in the night, they awake, as like the Scarlet Devil Mansion's residents are, for Sakuya, she always thinks that somebody strange will come and hen, be destroyed. However...
(Scarlet Devil Mansion's entrance)
Your name is Bu; you are a strange-looking slime with a metal head and with a Pink-eye, you go to gensokyo for see how a strange legend is...
Bu: Well, this place looks little for be a "Mansion", isn't, Ku?
Behind you, another Youkai, now made of a strange material, like an unknown mineral; with the shape of a little Flying Sphere with 2 claws and one eye, like Bu's, look at you.
Ku: We have seen biggest places in other Dimensions, like Toki's moon Tower, or Gaia's palace. But this looks perfect!
Bu: Well... *Grabs a journal book* Nova have tell us that they are a devil that are cursed by a "Maruku Kreatho" spell, is "This" the rightful place?
Ku: Yes, it is. The name of the devil is "Remi..."
Bu: Remilia Scarlet.
Ku: I know! We have to take away her curse before that...
Bu: ...Before that her power gets overload, got it?
Ku: I ALWAYS GET IT ON!!
Bu: …So… we enter?
Ku: To what?
[ ] Slap his face, screaming “YOU BAKA!”
[ ] Ignore him, and enters
[ ] …wait? And Hong Meiling?
Look, I know you want to be worse than Saguya, and I can tell you tried really hard to be, but it's all just so artificial. Saguya's mistakes, engrish, and nonsense come from the heart! You cannot hope to surpass such abnormality by simply acting the fool, and you should feel ashamed for trying.
"Wait!" Ku grabs your arm-like blob before you're able to go as far as a few steps towards the ominous Mansion's gate "One does not simply walk into Scarlet Devil Mansion!"
Zwounds, he's right! How could you not consider such an obvious fact before? Perhaps due to your brain being nothing more than a formless blob of jelly and albumen, your thinking processes are slower than those of your human friend, but does it matter now. You reach to your helmet with your tentacle-arm and scratch it in consternation. The mission you were entrusted with cannot bear failure, but while it is important to fulfill your tasks, you would rather fulfill them without dying. Or losing too much jelly from your body.
"Why," you open your oral cavity and stare at your friend with your one, pink eye "What do you propose then, my good friend?"
He gives you a troubled look before averting his gaze.
"I... To be honest..." he really does appear troubled by something. But what could that be? "I'm not sure how to convey that in words..."
"Great heavens, Ku!" you suddenly lose patience "Spit it out!"
"I-I'm sorry!" he yells apologetically "I just wanted to keep it a secret, but...!"
"We've no time for this!"
"Truth be told, my name is Lu, not Ku!"
Revelation! Mystery! Destiny! Is your friend actually the famous warrior of the east, or is he simply trying to postpone the mission for whatever dark cause he might keep hidden in his heart?
To be continued!
<angry watcher skips through the annoying song>
Episode 139: Highway to Hell!
"This cannot be! You're... You're the great Lu?!"
He shrugs weakly.
"Yes. Yes, I am. I am the mighty Lu, warrior of the east."
"I lost my power." he shrugs again "I cannot fulfill my tasks on my own anymore."
"Then why did you take up this mission?"
"That is... because of you."
A cold shiver runs down your jelly-back, making gelatine tremble all over.
"Why? What do you mean?"
"You are the key to my power."
Before you're able to evade, he grabs your poor jelly-body and lifts it into the air. Scared, you flail your tentacle-arms around, but to no avail - even powerless, the mighty warrior of the east still possesses considerable physical strength - one that your jelly muscles cannot even dream to match. Suddenly, there's something drilling into your jelly-butt, something big and apparently hairy. It easily pierces through your jelly-body like a hot knife cuts through butter, and soon, a muffled, gurgling voice reaches your jelly-ears.
Sudden inflow of blinding light and visions that violate every possible copyright there is makes your mind go blank. For only a few seconds. Because then...
You are born anew. The old memories come back in a wave of enlightenment, and when they finally settle inside your head, there is no more 'you'.
Your arm, now holding an enormously long spear, raises high into the air.
"Is there no one to challenge the mighty Lu Bu?!"
<angry watcher skips through the annoying song>
Episode 140: Western Plains
With a firm step, worthy of an undefeatable warrior, you approach the gates of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The gateguard, a fit-looking girl, quickly crosses your path and stands in front of you in an intimidating position. Ready to fight. How petty.
"Who are you? State your business!"
"Get lost, you scum!" you answer with anger.
She frowns briefly.
"You cannot pass."
"Those who stand in the way of virtue shall fail!"
Losing no time, you quickly close the distance between the two of you and launch a powerful punch, straight into her stomach. Not even allowing her to dodge, prepare a counterattack, nothing at all. Nothing can stop the might of Lu Bu!
"Team China sparkles yet again!"
Her body soon leaves the line of your sight, becoming no more than a tiny point on the vast expanse of afternoon sky.
"Can anyone provide me with a decent challenge?"
Getting rid of the obstacle, you quickly strenghten the grasp on your spear and start walking towards the Manion's gates. There's no one to stop you now. The curse of Scarlet shall be remove, and by your hand, it will be done. Not even a storm and hurricane could stop you now. There is no stopping the mighty Lu Bu, warrior of the east, conqueror of thousand kingdoms!
"We're in for one wild night!" you say to yourself, not without amusement.
"NOT SO FAST, MR. LU BU!"