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File 15119730071.png - (73.54KB, 393x304, Best I found.png) [iqdb]
65185 No. 65185
Previous Thread: >>64882

[32] "So, apparently I'm water-powered."
[32] "Ohh, by the way? Some redhead tried to murderize me and/or seduce me."

— - — - —

Picking it up, I found it to be both as soft as a newborn cake's butt and as goddamned cold as ice. Was a weird combo, to be honest. Was like it was somehow just pulled fresh from an oven that cooks by cooling somehow. Was left scratching my head more than a little over it, to be honest. Still, I got to relieving it of its papery threads, went about laying it bare before me. Au monchere. ...Or however you say it. Still, I'm being a bit silly now, so I figured I'd take a bite of the thing, finding an even greater shock to the system within.

The hell! The inside was piping hot!

Cold on the outside, hot on the inside and with fluffy, pink icing in a decoratively set pile on top. In the middle of all that, it was topped with further icing saying, 'BOO!' nestled into a neat little alcove among that pink. Although, that was more conjecture, 'cause I kiiiinda turned it into '300!' when I gave it a nibble. Proooobably should read cakey messages before I dig in, but y'know, hindsight still ain't something I have up front. Be kinda weird if I did, 'cause that'd be crotch sight or somethin' weird like that. Then again, she could just really freaking like Spartans, but I had a feeling it was nothing of the sort.

Lunch lady must have some sorta weird magical oven, though. For all its strangeness, and for all of its chilliness, the little cupcake was packed with enough sugar to make it considerable as some sorta confectionary A-bomb. S-bomb? I'd go with F-bomb if I could think up a good word for it. ...Fructose? Think that's somethin' sugary, but I'm not great with crap like that. I just know it's used a heck of a lot on commercials, to be honest.

Needless to say, it was delicious, though. Probably gonna spit out half my teeth later, but credit where credit was due and all that.

"Well, wherever it came from, it's cold as ice and hot as all get out."

Nitori gave me an odd look, asking, "What, like it was dipped in liquid nitrogen only long enough to freeze the outside?"

And then the ginger railgun added, "Maybe it was cooked in an icebox!"

Nitori and me just stared at her while she smiled. Then we kinda looked to each other, both knowing that the other was wanting to apply some lipsmack.

Then we just kinda went on with our eating, 'cause seriously, that was just dumb. Assuming that wasn't Nitori getting stupid ideas. I mean, if she can make some sorta water jetpack, I could only imagine what her better stuff is. Kinda annoying that she kept it away from me for so long, honestly. Seriously! So what if she eats souls?

Freaking. Jetpack.

Still, with a nibble of the creamy dessert washed down with some milk, I turned my eyes to the soup. From a distance, it kinda looked like a combination of grapejuice and extremely deadly poison. The purple steam wasn't helping its case. I swear, if my chopstick test fails this time, I'd not be even a little surprised. Hell, if it didn't fail? I'd be pretty dang disappointed, to be honest. So, I deployed a trusty chopstick I snagged while I wasn't looking and gave it a dipping.

Pulling it out, the stick was fine. Maybe as purple as the soup, but definitely fine. Note to self: keep away from literally everything but my mouth. Still, to say that I was disappointed was it cutting a bit short, as I felt a little more than that. I mean, did I think that food that'd kill me would be perfectly fitting and kinda cool? Hell yeah! Did I wanna actually have to eat it? Yeaaaah, how 'bout no.

Giving Nitori's plate a peek, I saw it as vegetarian as I expected. Sure, I'd be lying if I said it was a pile of cucumbers and butt balls, but a more civilized dish of cucumbers was hardly much different.

The single pickle off to the side colored me as odd, however. Either she ate the rest, or she only got one. Still, assuming souls aren't pickles and veggies, her plate was free of anything suspicious save for my scrutiny. Although, if veggies were souls? Hah! Who's laughing now, vegetarians? Me, that's who!

"Why are you laughing...?" Whoops. Seems I drew the attention of the entire cafeteria with that.

Even if the population was next to zip. Y'know, as unpopulated as it is, odd that the lunch lady stays. I mean, it's what, goin' on 11? If there's a curfew, I'd bet that'd be waaaay back. If anything, maybe she should give us spankings or whatever it is they do around here. Actually, scratch that; I didn't wanna die a baby's death.

"Ahh, just thought of a funny joke about veggies. You'd probably not like it so much, though." Nitori just rolled her eyes, probably appreciating that bit of warning.

Still, was time to get serious. The soup needed eating, and I had the spoon for the job. Testing it against the grape koolaid soup, I found it, as well, was dyed purple. Well, alrighty. Guess I'm gettin' some lipstick for a bit, aren't I? Well, down the hatch and all that!

...What? It... it tastes like hot grape soda, kinda? But maybe a bit peppery, too? Weirdly tasty, though, but still. Why. Why would anyone make this. Ever. I mean, that just seems disrespectful to soup, in my book. At least have it be flat. Kinda felt carbonated for crying out loud! Even with hints of chicken and—

Wait, it has noodles. What?? Just, like... seriously. Grape soda soba. What the heck even.

I just gulped it down, trying to not think about it too much, and focused instead on the chewy noodles and chocolatey milk and sugary cupcake and not the grape.

Not the grape at all.

My job of ignoring that bit done, it seemed as good of a time as any to say my farewells. "Anyways, see ya later, Railgun."

That got a grin and a half outta her. Cha-ching! "See ya later, Shortie~"

"We're the same height, ain't we?" I mean, I could see it if she were Unzan or Ko, but...

"And? Same shortness." Had me there.

Gave her a roll of the eyes for it. "Yeah, yeah. See ya, Tiny."

"Bitsy."

"Itsy."

"Micro."

"Nano."

Before ol' Nano could get another nickname volley off, Nitori interrupted, "Will you two stop that?" She started it! ...Sorta. "See you tomorrow, Suika." So it was Suika!

Suika shot back, "Yeah, you two as well." Guess we have gym again tomorrow? Wasn't paying much attention to that sorta stuff.

Gave her a wave and and the lunch lady a thumbs up as we headed off. Which was to say that Nitori was just about draggin' me. Lunch lady smiled, waving back. Some day she might actually say something.

That'd be nice.

Before long, we arrived back at our dorm room. Suika tailed us, 'cause, y'know... she's a she. But, more importantly, I saw that she was in room 109, 'cause Nitori was a bit of a slowpoke and Suika a bit of a, uhh... fastpoke, I guess? But still, could be handy to know down the road. Meant I could find her if I had to!

Once I was dragged inside, Nitori let out a sigh. "Finally free of her! Jeez... I thought she'd never leave!"

"Heh. Someone has a fan! What's wrong with that?"

"A fan that can punch through a brick wall with a dodgeball. Even I'd think twice about making a fan like that..."

Snickering, and enjoying that little mental image, I figured we had a bit of privacy now. "Still, now that we're alone, I got somethin' I've been wanting to tell you."

Pausing before she looked my way, she asked, "Tell me? What?"

"Been keepin' it bottled up a while now, but I felt it's time." Grinning at the way her face heated up, I quickly added, "Apparently my affinity is water!"

She blinked, and then blinked again. "Ohh." And then again, followed by a rub of the back of her head. "Well, alright?" That said, she tapped her lip, pointing out, "I mean, as long as I've lived among humans, I really don't know enough about water magic to really, you know... teach it. So... I mean, I could, like... maybe teach you the first thing about it, but anything more would be, uhh..." She trailed off, asking, "Wait, you have one?" With my nod in tow, she snorted, asking, "What, are you actually some sort of witch? That'd be a real surprise..."

Snickered a bit, pointing out, "Me? Have witch in my blood? Get outta town!" Seriously, wouldn't that be weird? "Nah, it's just that even humans are like that, apparently."

"Wait, who told you tha—"

"Ohh, and some crazy redhead tried to murder me or sex me up. Noooot entirely sure which." Seriously, she could go both ways. ...Heh.

"What."

The look on her face made me a bit on edge. Wasn't the type that I'd call sweet or innocent as should be. "...Kinda a bit of a scary look ya got there, Nitori."

"A-ahh." She let out a breath full of all that hate, and like it was an afterthought muttered, "...Sorry."

Gave her a nice, solid smack on the back to shock her outta giving any further murderous faces. "It's okay. I kinda won, so won't be a problem."

And then she gave me the most surprised look possible. "You... won?" Man, stocks in kappa eyebrows went through the roof! Better get sellin'!

— - — - —

[ ] Tell the honest truth. Busted her nose and kicked her in the nads with that flippy kick I always wanted to do.
[ ] Tell something sorta-kinda the truth. She won't be a problem anymore after what I did.
[ ] Embellish the truth to make myself look good. I hit her so hard she went reeling. Nice crunchy sound, too. Did I mention I protected my new buddy when the bitch went psycho on us? Was all heroic and crap.
[ ] Outright lie. Gotta tell her one for the ages! Spin up a shitfest she'll never believe! Gotta talk about how I stuck the landing!
[ ] Bard it up. Sure, I could tell one for the ages. Or, because she won't buy it anyways, I could tell her like it's some sorta climactic showdown about the legend of, well... me!
[ ] Write-in.
132posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 66421
[x] Ask Napkins about her hair crap. You've never seen someone rock napkin holders, but they're kinda cool?

Relaxing at school? Not on my watch.
>> No. 66422
[X] There's also Unzan, I guess.

I swear I'm the only one that wants to be nice to Unzan. Wasn't there an option to let bygones be bygones earlier in the story or did I just dream that?
>> No. 66423
File 152780867328.jpg - (99.99KB, 850x866, __himekaidou_hatate_touhou_drawn_by_yt_wai_tei__sa.jpg) [iqdb]
66423
[X] Get the creepy twintail girl's number! What? It's a great chance to lower the number of people murderizing my face.

What, it's a good idea to get to know one of the reporters for the school newspaper. And Hatate is way easier to work with (and a far better reporter) than Aya.
>> No. 66424
>>66422

There was, yeah.
>> No. 66426
[X] Get the creepy twintail girl's number! What? It's a great chance to lower the number of people murderizing my face.

Alas, despite my preference for ghosts it's smarter to talk to the bored one rather than the 'intense sleeper' and 'sleeping baby.'
>'Course, she's sleepin' like a baby. A kinda pissed baby, but a baby's a baby.
Pissed babies are on my list off things not to wake up, right next to 'slumbering ancient evil'

>>66420
I'd be up for it up until the last part. The last part makes a lot of assumptions I'd rather not have fall through.

>>66422
What has been kicked in the nuts cannot be unkicked in the nuts. I'll wait for him to take the first step, or at least show a semblance of good character (besides 'showing up to class'), before considering being nice.
>> No. 66428
I'm dumb and can't figure out who napkin holders is.
>> No. 66429
File 152786481379.jpg - (168.90KB, 586x598, you drove her to this anon.jpg) [iqdb]
66429
>>66428
>> No. 66430
[x] Ask Napkins about her hair crap. You've never seen someone rock napkin holders, but they're kinda cool?
>> No. 66431
[x] Think I'll run my hand through the samurai chick's hair. Seriously, how can I resist checking if I get paper cuts??
>> No. 66464
File 152881159269.jpg - (551.27KB, 2204x1600, She'd rather man candy.jpg) [iqdb]
66464
We seem to have a three way tie! How the three of them got it on is beyond me, but we're now in need of someone to break it!
>> No. 66468
[Y] There's also Unzan, I guess.

Nah, I'm just joshing ya. You wanted a tie break, not a 4-way intersection.

[X] Ask Napkins about her hair crap. You've never seen someone rock napkin holders, but they're kinda cool?

Time for Player 2 to meet up with Player 1.
>> No. 66522
That said, I'm not writing yet. In the past 9ish days I've gotten about 5-7 days worth of sleep total. A steady stream of 6 hour rests, broken by one 9 and prefaced with a 4.

As you might guess, I am very tired.

I will start the update once this is not the case.
>> No. 66537
I finally have sleep meds! Got like 10 hours of sleep last night, but I feel I kinda needed that! Should be able to write soonish! Thank your for your patience!
>> No. 66552
File 153129712263.png - (885.03KB, 800x918, I WILL DO THIS.png) [iqdb]
66552
I. Can. Do. Thiiis...!

Alright! Time to write! Time to make good on my word in an untimely fashion!

Want an explanation?

So do I! I'll consider it after I'm done pounding out some school-flavored mochi or whatever the heck sort of euphemism suits better. Don't feel like trying to figure it out! Feel like writing!
>> No. 66553
File 153130230578.gif - (19.72KB, 700x400, Too tired to murderize my face.gif) [iqdb]
66553
[44] Think I'll ask Napkins about her hair crap. I've never seen someone rock napkin holders, but they're kinda cool?

— - — - —

"Hey, Napkins!" Slapped my hand down on the sleepy brunette's desk, startling the rest of the room more than I startled her.

Her even breaths cease and instead abruptly become a lopsided inhale, before she allows it to equalize once more in something imitating a grand sigh. I say imitating as it's a pretty pale (not to mention lazy) imitation of one. Still, that grandly lacking sigh through, she peeks an eye open, looking up at me like I'm some sorta nuisance or some such. Imagine that! Me, a nuisance? "What?"

"Was wondering about the hair things you're wearin'! Look like napkin holders, y'know?" I give her my best grin, getting the sneaking suspicion that she's considering forcing it down my throat.

"They're accessories."

"No shit. What sort, though? 'Cause you can call a napkin holder an accessory if you rock it well enough, but it don't make it one, y'know?"

Letting out another grandly lacking sigh, she takes her time and stretches, fingers laced and held at length over her head. Next she stretches out her neck, clearly trying to shake the crack right out of it by the noisy sounds it's letting off. "Hair tubes."

"Hair tubes?"

"Swhat I said, yeah."

What the heck even is that? "What, like one of those metal band ponytail things or something?"

"...Yup." Now she's cracking out her knuckles a bit intimidatingly. Mostly because it reminds me of the crazy gym teacher, so it could be completely innocuous for all I knew.

Woman could give anyone a phobia of cracking joints, honestly.

"You don't like talkin' much, huh?"

"Nope."

"Makes me wonder what it'd take to get you to gab on, honestly."

"Specific things." She lets out a long yawn, not bothering to cover it up like some dainty old lady.

She doesn't look like no dainty lady.

Reminds me of the worse side of home. The side full of my kinda people. Unzan kinda people, but way more womanly.

— - — - —

But how to get her to talk?
[ ] Discuss what Unzan would look like were he a woman.
[ ] Talk about the way the silver-haired warrior chick was totally napping, even if she wasn't.
[ ] Wonder aloud and at her as to what the twin-tailed creepy girl's texting about.
[ ] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.
>> No. 66555
File 153132424894.jpg - (33.81KB, 688x688, image.jpg) [iqdb]
66555
[x] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.
>> No. 66557
[x] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.

Yeah, none of the others seem like they'll work
>> No. 66558
[X] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.
>> No. 66559
[X] Discuss what Unzan would look like were he a woman.

I want to see her laugh. That, or blank, soul-crushing stare.
>> No. 66560
[x] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.
>> No. 66561
[x] Discuss what Unzan would look like were he a woman.

The specific flavor of inanity where you can pretend to be a serious thinker if you try hard enough.
>> No. 66581
[x] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.
>> No. 66599
File 153282053982.jpg - (224.10KB, 920x920, Seriously what the hell.jpg) [iqdb]
66599
[45] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.

— - — - —

Well, I could do something silly, or I could actually try to care what she actually thinks. On one hand, I got a hankerin' for a cure to my boredom. On the other, my life is kiiiinda at stake here.

"So, what sorta specific things, Red?"

"Interesting things."

"What sorta interesting things?"

"Entertaining things."

"What kind of entertaining things?"

She began to crack under my obviously intense interrogation methods. Her flat stare became not just a flat stare, but also vaguely wry! "Being questioned, apparently..."

Gave her a bit more than a vaguely wry semi-smile of my own. Which is to say I grinned like she handed over a hundred when being shaken down for lunch money. "What sort of questioning?"

Now she just rolled her eyes, laying down on her arms. "Stupid questioning."

"How stupid?"

"So stupid you can't help but laugh, I guess?" And, indeed, she did some rendition of a guffaw, though it came out more like a vague chuckle. Seriously, the girl was giving Patches a run for her money.

"Got a name?"

"You don't know it?"

"Nah."

She looked more than a little taken aback. "...Reimu. Just Reimu."

My grin got all the wider. "Mind if I call you by your given name, Just?"

Now she started laughing. While that was going on, another person entered the room with a click of the door. Looking that way, I found Flan, bearer of a hopefully tomato sauce smudge. Not that I wasn't used to that less desired red smudge, but never met someone that dined on the stuff.

She beamed a bit, waving. Sent a grin her way now, waving in return. Flan took her seat, but there was still plenty of time. Had to make a good impression with my entertainment, right? "Names Kirisame Marisa."

"Huh." Just gave a half shrug, replying, "Nice to meet you, Kirisame."

"Just Marisa's fine."

"Sure, Just."

I gave a huff. "That's my schtick, y'know? Get your own, Just." She sent a brow up at me, but I just grinned it back down. Then she threw her eyes up in a roll instead, which got a chuckle out of me. "Still, my friend's here, so see ya 'round."

She let out a snort. "What am I, your entertainment?"

Was my turn to chuckle now. "Sure were!" That left her reeling! Well, or just blinking in surprise, more than a little taken aback. "What? Why else does someone slap your desk and greet ya?"

"Usually they want something, I guess?"

"What would anyone want with y-?"

A newcomer interrupted from behind me, "Will you two please be quiet?" Looking over my shoulder, I found the sword chick glaring at me with one eye, the other still closed. "I'm trying to meditate."

Let out a snort, though did relent. "Fine, fine. Don't gotta be all grumpy."

That single eye grew more than a bit confused as I turned to head for the front. Plopped my butt down by Flan, and greeted, "Mornin' Flan." And then, from the other side of the front row, I heard Blade let out a groan, as I was now all the closer.

Flan put on a real sweet smile, as if her morning routine involves dipping herself in sugar or somethin'. Smile had to be worth a fortune, honestly, as bright as it was; no way was it a fake. "Good morning, Marisa."

Let out a chuckle, asking, "Sleep well?"

She started blushing, no doubt due to the whole library thing. "Erm... ...y-yes! Very well..." The girl looked more than a bit embarrassed, and I had a fair idea as to why. Which I just mentioned, but still.

"So, when'd ya wake up?" Flan's blush just got worse. "Whole night, huh?" She just nodded, averting her gaze to the window. Gave her a few slaps on the back to cheer her up. "Hey, now. Buck up, y'hear? Didn't get in any trouble or anything, right?"

Flan giggled weakly, answering, "Well, no. I suppose I didn't."

"Nothin' to be bothered about, then!"

She was silent, but nodded, seeming to accept her terrible fate well enough.

After that point, plenty of students started the ol' last minute blitz. Was something I was used to, myself, in fact! Heck, Nitori, too, though it was mostly my fault. Heh... The things the teachers would say about me being a bad influence and such... good memories, those.

While I was busy with memory lane, the bell finally rang its last. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it only went off once. "Alright, class! Once more today we'll be practicing our human forms~" Teach gave the lot of us a nice ol' smile. The kind that'd wake you up in the middle of the night down the road. Real sexy, y'know? Could practically hear the boners smacking the bottoms of their respective desk. "The example today will be..." her eyes lit up like the cat that got the canary. "Unzan."

"What?" He looks more than a bit surprised. "I don't like the little shits, but I can fit in fine." Huh. Who'da thunk Unzan was so passionate about his looks? Well, or he's in my boat and doesn't want to bother as much as... inhumanly possible..

Red started wagging her finger all teacher-like. "Your form may look human, yes, but it hardly fits the region, Mr. Kumoi."

"The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, for one, you have a very noticeable appearance."

"And?"

"Your beard is at odds with your apparent nationality. It looks rather Western."

"And?"

She put on that 'Ahah!' smirk, as if she just figured out who murdered the butler. "Also, children would demand to sit in your lap." That just left Unzan a bit surprised. "You look like Santa Claus, you see."

"The hell I do! Santa ain't bald or a red head." The room started snickering, which apparently was a bit past Unzan's limits, as he slammed his fist down on the desk, a crunchy cracking sound coming from the wooden surface. Got a wince out of me at the memory of the other day, though I was also a bit distracted by him calling himself a red head. Teacher? Sure, she's like a fire truck. Him? More like a cotton candy sheep. "You shits got something to say?" His words had that deadly edge that makes a room go silent.

As such, I figured it a great time to jabber my jaw a bit. Ain't no shark, but still. "Think they don't believe in Santa, Pinkie." I mean, neither do I, but I'd not exactly want to say all that.

He turned his eyes on me, the intimidation slider set to max. "The fuck you say? Of course the bastard's real; met him myself. Cracked me over the head with a sack of coal and everything." ...I don't think that's how the old man operates, but after all I'd seen, I'd not even be surprised. ...Then again, he's Unzan. Dude's kinda a dick.

Now the room was dead silent, but not for quite the same reason as the previous laughter. More that disbelieving kind.

Clearing her throat, the teacher tried, "I can't say if he does or doesn't exist, but I don't think I need to remind you of our policies on destroying school property, Mr. Kumoi."

After a short stare-off, Unzan looked at his desk, probably getting what she meant, and let out a pink snort. Was a kind of 'whatever' snort, and I knew it well. Mine usually lacked that cotton candy-flavoring of his. Very usually.

After he switched desks, the class went on for a while. Watching him end up a pretty boy was more than a little funny.

— - — - —

Different cut-off points are an option.

Vote 1
[ ] Tease Unzan.
-[ ] Tease Unzan a lot.
--[ ] Tease Unzan perhaps too much.
---[ ] Tease Unzan way too much, and probably get him riled up.
[ ] Write-in.

Vote 2
[ ] Call him Red, not Pink.
[ ] Call the teacher Red, not Teach.
[ ] Call Reimu Red, not Just or Napkins.
>> No. 66600
[x] Tease Unzan. Just enough.

[x] Call him Lightish Red, not Pink.
[x] Call the teacher Red, not Teach.
[x] Call Reimu Scarlet. Or, perhaps, Miss Scarlet.
>> No. 66601
[x]>>66600
>> No. 66602
[x] Tease Unzan.
[x] Call Reimu Red, not Just or Napkins.

I really liked this update.
>> No. 66613
[x] Tease Unzan.

[x] Call the teacher Red, not Teach.

Napkins is infinitely superior to Red, but Teach is another story.
>> No. 66620
[x] Tease Unzan. Medium rare.

[X] Call them all Red
[X] Call Reimu Red, not Just or Napkins.

Good Reimu. I will now proceed to vote fo her at every junction.
>> No. 66624
Looks like we'll be teasing Unzan! Never expected anyone to vote for something like that whatsoever, but I think I can make it work.
>> No. 66626
File 153360294914.jpg - (112.09KB, 938x1000, That wasn't how it goes at all.jpg) [iqdb]
66626
[46] Tease Unzan.
[46] Call Reimu Red, not Just or Napkins.

— - — - —

When class was finally over, I just gave him my biggest shit-eating grin. If you didn't know any better, you'd be checking my teeth for corn, and he looked pretty familiar with my intent. "Just get it over with." He let out a snort, putting on a brave front, but clearly he was terrified deep down inside. The chick that smashed his nuts was about to make fun of him.

The horror.

"Ohh? Ya expecting somethin', Pinkie?"

"I know that look." Well, at least he saw it coming. Gotta give him props for that, not that I brought any with me. Maybe next time I'll bring a rubber chicken or some such. Then again, the guy's a dick. That said, giving him a rubber dick seems like it'd go all manner of wrong.

"Do ya, now? What's it mean, then, Price Charming?" My grin got all the bigger, as it felt nice to lord over him after what happened on the first day.

Once more he snorted, a pink puff coming from his nose. "That."

"Maybe you should spell it out for me, then?"

"Tee, aych, ayy, tee."

That got a good chuckle out of me. "Well, at least ya got wit."

"I'm just going to go before I have to ram your head up your ass."

"Got a princess to go rescue, huh? Give her a big ol' smooch for me!" My grin grew lopsided, as I knew he full well could make good on that. But, well... don't think he wants anything to do with me after-

"Fine." He pinched my cheeks between his thumb and forefinger, giving me a kiss. "See ya, Princess." And then he headed off, laughing his ass off, no doubt finding the look on my face funny.

"What." My cheeks were burning red, as that wasn't what I expected in the least. Dude's got balls, that's for sure... ...Although, I always figured a beard felt like steel wool, not... soft like that.

Flan blushed along with me, stuttering out the remnants of nervousness. "W-well, that could have ended worse..." She giggled weakly. "Umm... Marisa, are you okay?"

I was many things, but okay wasn't quite what I'd call any of them. "...I'll be fine." Wasn't wrong, but I did dodge the question.

She smiled down at me, looking a bit relieved. "Good!" The relief of an angel like her could soothe any wound, pride or otherwise. Not that I exactly knew where that wound was exactly. "Should we head for lunch, then...?"

Gave her a nod; if there were any class I wasn't about to skip, lunch was the prime candidate. Can't do much on an empty stomach, and can't find many alternative places to get lunch on a campus. That said, we headed for lunch.

The halls were as bustling as you'd expect after sitting on our asses as long as we had been. Never had a homeroom quite as long as that, but it could be worse. We could have a second class in that time slot! I'd rather a good chance to opt out of an unnecessary bit of knowledge than have to be hustled about here and there.

When we arrived at the cafeteria, the line was more than a bit unwieldy. "Jeeez... Gonna be a hell of a long wait." Normally I'd just cut in line, but getting between some kinda monster and its food just stinks of a good way to become a snack. Between Flan with neck munching, Unzan with head munching or whatever he said, and Nitori with ass munching, it was becoming increasingly obvious that eatin' people was A-okay around these parts.

Hopefully the lunch lady didn't have no soilent green or some such. Then again, I'm sure I'm delicious, so maybe I'd actually like it. Still didn't have any plans to munch ass or eat brains, but clearly it wouldn't be so popular if there were no reason to it.

As we waited, Flan asked, "So, umm... what sorts of things do you like, Marisa?"

"...Huh." That's a good question. Can't exactly say the lamentation of the women or anything. I'm supposedly a witch, not a viking. Ehh, screw it; I'll just say the closest thing I got to a smart activity. "Well, I like watching my buddy build stuff, I guess."

She tilted her head. "Your buddy?"

"Yeah, the girl you handed me off to. Blue hair and stinks somethin' fierce?"

From behind, a certain buttmuncher cried, "I do not stink, Marisa."

Gave her a grin over my shoulder. "But sayin' it's a great way to get you to reveal yourself!" Seriously, the girl's got no presence at all. It's like she can go invisible at will or somethin'.

Nitori gave me a roll of her eyes. A pretty common acquisition, so I'd not exactly call it valuable. "Ass."

Gave a grin in return. A common gift, but a quality one. "Is that all I am to you?"

I swear the girl's eyes are gonna drive off once they get traction. "Ohh, haha. Very original, Marisa."

"I'll be here all week." Hopefully longer, too!

It wasn't long before it was Flan's turn in the spotlight when Nitori asked, "So, you're Marisa's friend, huh?" She was looking her over, eyes not lingering on any one place.

Flan, of course, nodded. "Yes. She, umm... fixed my bike."

Was clear that her claim surprised Nitori. "Marisa fixed a bike?"

Gave a big ol' grin, pleased at that reaction. Half expected disbelief. "Sure did!"

Now her eyes turned on me, looking more than a bit confused. "You fixed a bike." Theeeere's the disbelief. Seems she was holdin' out on me.

"What, you're surprised? You know how much I'd watch you do your thing."

That got a blush and a huff outta the cutie. Jackpot! "I-I never thought you were actually paying attention." Ohh! And a stammer, too! Seems my investment in bike repairs is paying off in spades.

Now it was my turn to spin my eyes fruitlessly. "You make it sound like all the pieces fell apart and I had to reassemble the damn thing or somethin'. Was just the chain comin' off."

She let out a long sigh of relief. "Here I thought you did something impressive."

Gave her a cocky grin. "Although, as much as you built 'em from scrap, I could probably put one together at least."

And it was her turn to peel eyeball again. "Bullshit, Marisa. You couldn't assemble your way out of a paper bag."

"You wound me, Nitori." Took out a handkerchief for the express purpose of hamming it up. "Here I thought you were my friend, but... but you don't even think I can assemble a bike...!" Clearly the ultimate sign of friendship. Dabbed my eyes as if it truly upset me. As if...

The lunch lady chose that time to clear her throat. Looking to her, I found that we had arrived at the front of the line to the smiling lunch lady.

Nice how time flies like that.

— - — - —

[ ] Get the glowing snot-green soup. Gotta get more of those cupcakes. Not dying is also nice, assuming it doesn't kill me first. But man, that cupcake, though!
[ ] Can never go wrong with pizza.
[ ] The spaghetti might be nice for a change.
[ ] Is that salisbury steak? I freaking love salisbury steam! A break from russian roulette might be nice...
>> No. 66627
[x] Can never go wrong with pizza

the superior food
>> No. 66639
[x] Is that salisbury steak? I freaking love salisbury steam! A break from russian roulette might be nice...
>> No. 66642
[x] Get the glowing snot-green soup. Gotta get more of those cupcakes. Not dying is also nice, assuming it doesn't kill me first. But man, that cupcake, though!

For the sweets.
>> No. 66643
[x] Is that salisbury steak? I freaking love salisbury steam! A break from russian roulette might be nice...

I like salisbury steak, though I've never had it steamed.
>> No. 66645
[X] Get the glowing snot-green soup. Gotta get more of those cupcakes. Not dying is also nice, assuming it doesn't kill me first. But man, that cupcake, though!
veni vidi vici

Stop making Unzan fun to read. Strictly not allowed.
>> No. 66742
[x] Get the steak with some green goop on the side

Cant go wrong with both
>> No. 67234
Let's get this show on the road.

[x] Get the steak and some green goop. Man, steak and cake! How can you resist?? It even rhymes for crying out loud!
>> No. 67235
File 154272118413.jpg - (1.78MB, 4000x2248, OHHGODYESYESYES.jpg) [iqdb]
67235
[47] Get the steak and some goop soup. Man, steak and cake! How can I resist?? It even rhymes for crying out loud!

— - — - —

When has being decisive ever been a good thing? "Yo, it okay if I mix and match? That glowin' soup looks all kinds of soupy and glowing, but Salisbury steak!"

Never, that's when.

While the bluer half of my entourage rolled her eyes over my affection for meat, the lunch lady let out a real jiggle of a giggle. "You certainly do like your food, don't you?"

Grinning, I fired back, "What can I say? Lunch is my favorite class!"

Beaming at the compliment, pinky started pouring some of the soup that looked like it was made of snot and glow stick juice into a cup, followed by a nice generous slab of the good stuff. After that, she placed a brick of cornbread and a cube of chocolate milk in the remaining slots. "Eat up! Can never have too much~"

Nitori, being the contrarian she is, pointed out, "Not if it kills you."

Not missing a beat, the lunch lady shot back, "Ohh, but then you get to eat even more!"

Not expecting that response, Nitori just snorted, clearly being done with that topic. Her loss. "Cucumber salad." The lunch lady started piling it on. "More..." And the pile grew, and grew. "Ohh, yeah..." ...That sounded weirdly heated.

While the tower of cucumbers finally got its roof, Flan eyed my soup, asking, "Is that glowy soup good...?"

Of course, being a lunch lady, she airily answered, "Everything I make is good to someone~"

"I... see."

"Do you like fruit~?" ...Fruit... soup?? Kiiinda regretting getting it a little...

"Well, umm... are tomatoes a fruit?"

Smiling, the queen of cook answered, "Would you put a tomato in a fruit salad?" Even the lunch lady is still a teacher, I guess...

"Ohh, umm..." After a few seconds passed, she answered, "...Mmmmaybe?" Note to self: keep flan away from fruit salads.

The lunch lady reached across to give Flan a ruffle and a half. "Then of course!" ...I feel like my faith in the lunch lady's been shaken a little.

"What about cucumbers?" Ohh god, not her, too!

Beaming, Lunchy answered simply, "Would you?"

"Obviously."

"Then of course it is! Tomatoes and cucumbers are clearly a magnificent addition to [/i]any[/i] fruit salad!" Note to self: keep away from fruit salads.

Snickering, hopefully because she was messing with the lunch lady, the ol' butt burglar said, "Water on the side, too."

"Aww, how boring..." However, she did place it, as well as put a brick of cornbread, much to Nitori's obvious displeasure. Y'know, I have this weird feeling like she's a bit repressed over cucumbers, as I never saw her eat 'em this hard.

Next it was Flan's turn to step up to the plate. "I'll have the glowy soup and some tomato juice, please." Smiling, the lunch lady did as requested, but when she went for the cornbread, Flan spoke up. "I, umm... I'm not so good with solid food."

"Ohh, you poor thing..." She instead put a pack of applesauce on the tray, which got a smile out of Flan.

With that, the three of us headed on, though that left us with a few choices on the table: what table to put our choices on.

— - — - —

[ ] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!
[ ] Huh. Unzan's with a lady friend. That's... weird.
[ ] Hey, looks like that brunette from gym. Man, she's with a couple hotties, too! One's a classy-looking blonde, and the other's wielding a grin that puts mine to shame! Seriously, that bluenette is freaking happy! Neither of them look like first years, though.
[ ] If it isn't watermelon head! She's a real fun one, so might as well join her. She's actually not alone, surprisingly. Looks like she's got some greenhead with her, not to mention that frosty ass from gym.
[ ] Just grab an empty spot; there's still plenty to go around.
>> No. 67239
[X] Hey, looks like that brunette from gym. Man, she's with a couple hotties, too! One's a classy-looking blonde, and the other's wielding a grin that puts mine to shame! Seriously, that bluenette is freaking happy! Neither of them look like first years, though.

Something is off-putting about the patron of abject poverty and depression being happy. Must be some serious meds.
>> No. 67244
[ ] Hey, looks like that brunette from gym. Man, she's with a couple hotties, too! One's a classy-looking blonde, and the other's wielding a grin that puts mine to shame! Seriously, that bluenette is freaking happy! Neither of them look like first years, though.

Prismriver senses are tingling! Must meet best bluenette.
>> No. 67245
>>67239
I may have miscalculated, drastically.

Changing vote to!
[X] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!
>> No. 67246
[X] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!
>> No. 67253
[x] Hey, looks like that brunette from gym. Man, she's with a couple hotties, too! One's a classy-looking blonde, and the other's wielding a grin that puts mine to shame! Seriously, that bluenette is freaking happy! Neither of them look like first years, though.

I must know what's going on here.
>> No. 67353
[ ] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!

What do you mean Red'll get annoyed with us if we do this? Nonsense!
>> No. 67370
As I'm not in the mood for floofs and cute, and my other story is on a short hold for certain reasons (even if the update is basically finished), I'll write some of this!

[X] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!
>> No. 67382
File 154556858618.gif - (275.75KB, 760x1140, Dare you to disassemble it.gif) [iqdb]
67382
[48] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!

— - — - —

Hand slapped table like it was being a creep, eking a nice little bounce out of the poor girl. Strangely, the whole lunchroom went just a bit dead silent over it, too. It's like I slapped the don's desk or something dumb like that. Whatever. "Heya, Red!"

"...Hey, you." She didn't even bother lookin'!

I let out a gasp, asking, "How could you forget your best friend?"

Now looking, she let out a snort. "I barely even know you. Bit early to say that, isn't it?"

"I dunno, you're smilin'!"

This time I got a nice little roll of her eyes. "Because you're an idiot."

"But am I a lovable idiot?"

"Do you... want to be?" Now she was looking at me funny. Score!

"Maybe?" Gave her a nice, cheesy grin to go with that cornbread cube. Seriously, pretty sure everyone but Flan's got one.

"...Idiot."

"But you're smiiiliiing~" Grinned that teasing grin I usually saved for the butt biter.

"Well, isn't that just how lovable idiots work?" She gave a shrug, changing the topic. "Still, these your friends, or...?"

Gave a nice little bob of a nod, answering, "Sure like to think so! Meet Nitori and Flan." Motioned to them in the wrong order, just to get them to correct me.

Before Nitori could let her indignation be known, Flan gave her a nice little bow, greeting, "I'm Flandre Scarlet! Umm... and that's in Western order."

After sending me a dirty look, Nitori only gave a nod, answering, "Kawashiro Nitori. Eastern order. You need it, I make it." She took a moment to rummage in her skirt, coming out with a business card. Dork.

Reimu rolled her eyes, taking the card. Looking it over, she tucked it away. "Hakurei Reimu." Looking the kappa over now, she added, "Maybe we'll do business some time."

Nitori was quite pleased with what may or may not be a rendezvous, though Flan just smiled, saying, "Nice to meet you, Miss Hakurei."

"Reimu."

"Umm! M-Miss Reimu?"

"Reimu." Y'know, I feel like she speaks in only one tone.

Red's eyes were boring a hole in Flan's skull when Flan whimpered, shrinking under her gaze. "Reimu...?"

Reimu smiled just a bit, getting back to eating. Her plate was piled high with what amounted to seemingly one of everything. Seems I have competition for teacher's pet... ...Well, or a stomach ache, what with that soup being her current target.

Took a seat at the table, the others less than eagerly joining me. Reimu never spoke a peep of protest, though her side of the table seemed awfully empty.

— - — - —

[ ] Ehh, can't go too hard too fast. Think I'll stay sandwiched in between these two and get to know this soup a bit better.
[ ] As if I can just let her stay all lonely over there! Better sneak on over!
[ ] Who needs stealth when you got pizazz? I'll show that empty half of the table who's boss by parking my ass right next to her! I'mma sit the crap outta that side of the table!
[ ] Nah. This won't do at all. You won't be the meat, but the bread!
-[ ] Cucumber sandwich!
-[ ] Tomato sandwich!
>> No. 67387
[x] As if I can just let her stay all lonely over there! Better sneak on over!

Shoot and I'll move!
>> No. 67389
[x] As if I can just let her stay all lonely over there! Better sneak on over!

Let's show her just how stealthy a mansion-infiltrating witch can be
>> No. 67391
[x] Who needs stealth when you got pizazz? I'll show that empty half of the table who's boss by parking my ass right next to her! I'mma sit the crap outta that side of the table!

Who needs stealth when you have PIZAZZ
>> No. 67393
[x] Who needs stealth when you got pizazz? I'll show that empty half of the table who's boss by parking my ass right next to her! I'mma sit the crap outta that side of the table!

>>67391
Damn straight, son.
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