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47840 No. 47840
These things don't happen everyday. In fact, you wouldn't be surprised if this was a once in a lifetime occurrence. You wouldn't be surprised if it was rarer than that.

You place the small, light figure as gently as possible on the sofa, before reaching for a blanket and covering her. The shivering girl automatically curls, wrapping the covering around herself in a defiant act against the cold. Checking once again that she was (relatively) well, you retreat into the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea, all the while making sure to keep your guest in your line of sight.

What was it that they said about million-to-one chances? Besides them happening nine times out of ten? You vaguely remember your maths teacher scribbling an equation on the whiteboard explaining that if you assume that if there were 100 times a million-to-one chance could occur in a day, then the chance of a million-to-one chance happening in a year was some likely probability that you couldn't be bothered working out at the present time. After all, what was more important was the situation itself rather than how likely it was.

Pouring the liquid into a cup, your eyes stray to the window, where you could see the snow gently falling. It was the same when you were walking home from the station, when all you were thinking about was the rather meaningless small talk you were having with your friend just an hour before. It wasn't the frame of mind to expect a small girl to appear from seemingly nowhere and collapse in front of you. You frown as you recall wondering in the midst of surprise and panic where exactly the girl's parents were and what exactly you should do.

Gaze returning to the sofa, you again examine the curious slumberer. Evidently, you had supposed that getting her in a safe and warm place was the best course of action. You remember her being so light to carry, a small blessing perhaps. Perhaps she was a bit too light, like if she hadn't eaten for a while. Maybe calling the authorities would be a good idea? Sipping your tea, you decide against it, as you didn't feel the need to bring unneeded complications into the situation. 'A small girl just appeared out of nowhere, officer, and when she collapsed in front of me, I decided to take her home.' You didn't think there was an actual way to phrase that without sounding strange. You'll just wait until she wakes up, and then she can go on her way when she recovers. It wasn't the most detailed or thought out plan, but it would do for now.

Admittedly, it was kind of creepy watching a small girl sleeping, but curiosity was too strong for you not to stare. For as much as your maths teacher talked about million-to-one chances being more likely than you would think, your biology teacher would be crying foul.

For appearing out of thin air was not the first strange thing about her. In fact...

[]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.

[]...she didn't have ears. Or at least, she didn't have normal ones. In lieu thereof, there were two bunny-ears that poked out of her hair. She also possessed a cotton tail. It took self-control not to stroke them.





Swallowing my fear and taking the plunge. I would appreciate any fuck ups to be pointed out as to avoid and/or eliminate them.

>> No. 47841
[x]...she didn't have ears. Or at least, she didn't have normal ones. In lieu thereof, there were two bunny-ears that poked out of her hair. She also possessed a cotton tail. It took self-control not to stroke them.

Bunny time.
>> No. 47842
[]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.

Fairy time.
>> No. 47843
[X]...she didn't have ears. Or at least, she didn't have normal ones. In lieu thereof, there were two bunny-ears that poked out of her hair. She also possessed a cotton tail. It took self-control not to stroke them.

Works for me~!
>> No. 47844
[X] ...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.

Fairy maid quest?
>> No. 47845
[x]Fragile, insect like wings.
>> No. 47846
[]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.
>> No. 47847
[X]...she didn't have ears. Or at least, she didn't have normal ones. In lieu thereof, there were two bunny-ears that poked out of her hair. She also possessed a cotton tail. It took self-control not to stroke them.
>> No. 47849
[x]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.
>> No. 47850
[]...she didn't have ears. Or at least, she didn't have normal ones. In lieu thereof, there were two bunny-ears that poked out of her hair. She also possessed a cotton tail. It took self-control not to stroke them.
>> No. 47851
[x]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.
>> No. 47852
[x]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.

We seem to be lacking the typical "first post" story discussion. So uh...I like fairies. Who else here likes fairies?
>> No. 47853
[x]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.

I like fairies
>> No. 47854
>>47852
I am also a person who likes fairies.

[x]...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.

Here's hoping something interesting happens within 4-5 realtime days.
>> No. 47855
>>47852

To be completely fair, there's really not much one can discuss so far. However, your preference for fairies has put the the fairy choice into the majority, so I'll call the vote in about an hour and a half and start writing.
>> No. 47856
[x] ...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.
>> No. 47858
Called for delicacy and fairy maids. Everybody likes fairy maids, except the guys who don't.
>> No. 47859
I am super stoked for this story. Stories where native Gensokyans cross the border have always interested me, and this story looks better written than the one in /border/. Waiting warmly~
>> No. 47865
[x] ...she had fragile, insect-like wings on her back, reminiscent of a fairy. Unlike her maid attire, it was apparent that these were most definitely not a costume. It took delicacy not to damage them.

Ignoring the mockery of anatomy as you knew it, she looked like a normal eight year old girl, brown hair messed up by the elements. Her clothing looked like they came from either a maid cafe or the setting of a regency drama, but the snow had been unkind to them as well. But the wings were definitely her most striking feature. Now you hadn't exactly seen a dragonfly in real life, but if the pictures you seen on the internet were any accurate judge it was similar in structure and transparency, scaled to fit the girl. You wonder what exactly she is, mentally trying not to use the term 'fairy maid.' The term seemed to push the already strained boundaries of what you deemed sensible.

Fifteen minutes, two cups of tea and a biscuit was what it took for the aforementioned wings to start flutter against the blanket and for her to stir. Her hazel eyes were blurry as she blinked once, twice, before focusing them on your own.

The stare off lasts far too long to be comfortable, causing you to tentatively raise a hand in greeting, other hand holding a cup of tea. She looks at your greeting, then at at the tea. When she speaks, her voice was as weak as she looked.

“Sorry for intruding.”



The blanket was still wrapped around her as she took a biscuit from your offered plate and bit into it. She hadn't said anything more, and you were about to initiate conversation when she talked again.

“Thank you. For the blanket and the food.”

You shrug. “It was nothing much. I couldn't leave you there on the street in the snow, could I?”

At this she pauses her eating to frown at nothing in particular. Noting this, you continue, “Do you know how you got there in the first place?”

She shakes her head. “No. No, I don't.” She sighs in resignation, accepting this fact as if were something that happened sometimes, like a rainy day. “I am sorry to say that I will be in your hands for a little while yet, but it won't be long until I have the strength to return back to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.”

“The what?”

The girl matches your confused look with one of her own, before rearranging the blanket to show her outfit. “These,” she explained slowly, “Show that I work for Mistress Scarlet, or the Scarlet Devil.” She paused to think. “You mean there are other people that share similar...” She waved her biscuit around, trying to conjure an appropriate word. “...taste?”

You shake your head. “I don't even know who Mistress Scarlet is.” You also don't know what kind of person hires little dragonfly girl to perform maid-like duties.

Her eyes widened. “What? But it isn't as though she's very shy. And everyone knows about the scarlet mist...incident...” As her voice trailed away, a look of abject fear dawned on her expression.

“Is something wrong?” you ask, feeling extremely foolish immediately after.

She didn't answer. Instead, she bit into her biscuit. No one talked as she talked as she tore into the snack, or in the long silence that followed after she finished it.

“May I ask a question?” she asks quietly. Unlike before, her low tone was not backed with certainty, rather, it had no skeleton, no frame. A stiff breeze would all it would take to make it collapse.

“Fire away.”

“Where am I?”

As you tell her your address, her face fell from fear into despair. Well, that would not do at all.

“You said you worked for a Mistress Scarlet at a Scarlet Devil Mansion, right?” She nods.

“That should be enough,” you say with confidence, despite the dragonfly girl's confused look, “I'll just get a cup of tea and my laptop, and I'll see what I can do.”



Her confusion only grew when you placed your laptop on the table and turned it on. Yelping and almost dropping her cup of tea when it played the start up music, she tried to recollect her composure by motioning at your user name and asking, “Is that you?”

You nod. “Yeah, that's my name.”

As you type in your password, you hear her saying your name repeatedly, trying to get a feel of it. When you log in, she says, “That's a nice name.”

“What about you?” you reply, “Do you have a name?”

“Yes,” she answers, before pointing at your laptop again, “What is this?”

Frowning a bit at the deflected question, you answer, “A computer. Specifically, a laptop.”

“What does it do?”

You think about it as you open your browser. “A lot of things.”

The dragonfly maid turns to you. “Can it get me home?”

“That's what I'm going to find out.” You type 'Scarlet Devil Mansion' into Google. You remember your teacher, for IT if you recall correctly, saying something along the lines of the search engine being a fantastic tool so long as you don't let it do the thinking for you. Either way, if anything knew about where this girl came from, it would be the internet.

The girl in question was astounded by the results. “That's it,” she breathed in amazement as she stared at one of the pictures depict a luxurious palace-like building made of red brick, “But how is that possible?”

Raising your eyebrows at the comments, you decide to see what Wikipedia has to say about this supposed mansion.



Well.

That was somewhat...eerie.

You could vaguely remember being taught about stuff like the Mary Celeste and other paranormal mysteries in primary school, but you don't recall anything about the Scarlet Devil Mansion. According to Wikipedia, the house was infamous for appearing and disappearing all over Europe, even popping up in the background of a landscape painting of the American Plains. The Mansion was last seen in England, where it disappeared and was never seen again. If that wasn't spooky enough, the 'Scarlet Devil' title was tied up with legends of psychotic vampires leaving entire town drained of life wherever the Mansion decided to materialise.

You turn to your guest, still staring at your laptop in wonder. This girl, with her maid dress outfit and dragonfly wings, supposedly lived and worked in this phantom house. Her very existence just got curiouser and curiouser. You still didn't know her name, what she did, or even what she exactly was, and she had proven herself capable of avoiding answers she didn't want to reveal. Pestering her with too many questions may not go down so well.

Still, you needed to know more about your guest.

“Say,” you start cautiously, “May I ask a question?”

Write ins are your friend: [x] Ask questions.

Optional decision: [x]Name our protagonist.





If I just gave you a list of questions to ask, I would expect votes listing all the choices asking me to build a wall for you guys. It's what I'd vote for. So in light of that, I leave the responsibility of coming up with questions to you guys. Hey, it might inspire some discussion! If the creativity well has truly dried up, I might provide possible questions to ask, but it shouldn't come to that.

Oh, and if you want an actual name for 'you', you can suggest some, if you wish. If any suitable ones stand out, I'll use it for our yet unnamed protagonist.

>>47858
Happy to see that you're that interested. I hope to live up to expectations.
>> No. 47867
Will probably add on to this later:

[X] First things first: introductions. What is her name?
-[X] Introduce yourself as: Philip Dent
[X] What is the last thing she remembers before waking up?
[X] How much of the information you pulled off Wikipedia seems accurate to her?
[X] ...Alright, you can't resist asking any longer: what on Earth are those wings(?) doing on her back?
[ ] Rape the maidsNOPE.

We could presumably also ask additional questions as they occur to us from her answers.
>> No. 47871
[x] Make a formal introduction as Harvey Dent, law school student.
[x] What is the last thing she remembers before waking up?
[x] She said 'that's it' when faced with a legend. What exactly is 'it'?
[x] Why is a girl so young working? How much does she make? Isn't this seven kinds of Illegal? Why does her employer masquerade as a demon?
[x] Plan a lawsuit that will make Apple vs Samsung look like a day in the park, Those big companies like Nike think they can get away with everything!
>> No. 47873
[X] First things first: introductions. What is her name?
-[X] Introduce yourself as: Philip Belmont
[X] What is the last thing she remembers before waking up?
[X] How much of the information you pulled off Wikipedia seems accurate to her?
-[x] This mansion keeps popping out all over the world, Where was it last time?
--[x] Her employer, she says she's a 'Devil' while the wiki says about Vampires, which is truth?
--[x] Is there a chance she would be searching for her? Does she have the means to do so?
[X] ...Alright, you can't resist asking any longer: what on Earth are those wings(?) doing on her back?
-[x] Ask to take a picture.

This seems promising.
>> No. 47874
[x] Don't name the protagonist.
[x] What is the last thing she remembers before waking up?
[x] Does she know her parents' contact information, or that of her employer at the mansion?
[x] How much of the information you pulled off of Wikipedia seems accurate to her?
[x] ...Alright, you can't resist asking any longer: what on Earth are those wings(?) doing on her back?

>>47871
>What exactly is 'it'?
The mansion, you twat.
>> No. 47877
.96415 approx. If you were wondering.
>> No. 47878
>>47877
What does that mean?
>> No. 47880
Wow, surprisingly competent for a fairy. Is she Patchouli's assistant or something? A magical accident would explain her crossing over.

[x] Why did being told where she was scare her so badly?

Adding something new because I'm too lazy to cherrypick everyone else's votes.
>> No. 47882
[x] Name the protagonist Leon Smith
[x] What is the last thing she remembers before waking up?
[x] Does she know her parents' contact information, or that of her employer at the mansion?
[x] How much of the information you pulled off of Wikipedia seems accurate to her?
[x] ...Alright, you can't resist asking any longer: what on Earth are those wings(?) doing on her back?
>> No. 47895
>>47878
Fairy height in meters, maybe? If that's the case, she's 3' 2".
>> No. 47897
>>47877
Actually, I believe that to be that chance of a million-to-one chance NOT happening in a year according to the conditions of the first post. The chance of of one actually occurring is around 1/30.

Sage for mathematics.
>> No. 47906
>>47897
Damn your right I forgot to invert.
>> No. 47909
In before I mess up my tripcode...

So, considering the questions that were voted on more than twice I'm going to call:

[x]What is the last thing she remembers before waking up?
[x]How much of the information you pulled off Wikipedia seems accurate to her?
[x] ...Alright, you can't resist asking any longer: what on Earth are those wings(?) doing on her back?

...in about 2 hours or so, so if you want any other questions considered, vote now. Also, the protagonist shall remain nameless for the moment until greater consensus has been reached.
>> No. 47910
Calling and writing.
>> No. 47914
[x] “What's the last thing you remember before waking up?”

The girl pauses reading the Wikipedia article to think. She winces, gripping her cup. “I trying to fight against...rat...infestations.”

“You were fighting rats,” you say with a bit of scepticism.

“Yes, the library has a recurring rat problem,” she says with more confidence, “I was teaching some of the new hands how to operate some the traps, when the black-white-” Another wince.

“'Black-white?'”

“Oh, that's a rat.” Her expression darkens considerably. “A really, really annoying rat.”

“That bad?”

“Oh yes.” She sticks her tongue out in thought. “Next thing I know, I wake up here. It's really fuzzy, but that's what I remember.” She goes back to reading the article. You get the distinct impression that there's some important thing that she's not telling you, but she doesn't say anything after that.

What you do notice is that as she reads your laptop's screen, a frown slowly develops on her face.

[x] “How much of this is accurate to you?”

“Hmm?” she tilts her head, “Oh, it seems alright. I only heard about most of this stuff. I only joined up five years ago.”

Skimming the article again, you find that the last disappearance was ten years ago.

Wait, how old would she have-

“It just reads strangely,” she says, “I mean, most of it agrees with what I've heard and read. Well, not so much this bit.” She points at the parts talking about the vampire myths. “Mistress Scarlet is a light eater, really.”

That was a joke, right? But neither of you laughed even if it was. This was getting far too weird. You were expecting some strangeness when you brought this small girl home, but not to the extent of vampires and supernatural monster houses. There was so many things wrong with the scene presented to you, you didn't know where to even start. As you tried to pluck a question from the chaotic swarm buzzing in your head, your eyes started to be drawn to her wings, the first sign of things starting to tumble down the rabbit hole into Wonderland.

[x] ...Alright, you can't resist asking any longer:

“What on Earth are those wings doing on your back?”

Dragonfly maid turns to look at you strangely, then at her wings. “Um, they're...uh....being?”

“No, I'm asking more 'Why do you have them?'” you ask, a little annoyed.

She mouths a couple of silent sentences, trying to calibrate her mind to your question. After placing her tea down, she spoke again in a tone reserved for children or the especially ignorant.
“Sir, I am what is called a 'fairy'. 'Fairies' usually have wi-”

“I know what a fairy is,” you interject, now more than a little annoyed, “But they are not- they're not...” Your irritated rebuttal withers under the critical stare of your guest. “They don't exist. They're fictional,” you finish uncertainly, expecting a harsh rebuttal.

You did not expect her vexed expression to suddenly melt away and her fingers to click in realisation. “That's it! That's what's wrong with the writing! It's mostly non-fictional, but it treats the Mansion like some sort of fairy story!”

“Fairy story,” you repeat, putting emphasis on her terminology.

She stares at you with her mouth open for a couple of seconds, before asking, “Is that all we are, .human? Stories? Just because we may not be as widespread any more, we still exist. Just like...uh, what's something that was really common in the past but not now?”

You shrug. “Dinosaurs?”

“And you don't think dinosaurs are fic- wait, what, really? You think giant killer reptiles from billions of years ago are real, but fairies aren't?”

“...yes?” More like feathery bird thingies of all shapes and sizes (thank you, Biology teacher), but they were indeed real. As far as you can tell, there hadn't been any fossilised fairies that have been unearthed. You wonder how a fairy might know about dinosaurs, though.

Your guest, for her part, was now pinching the bridge of her nose. “Oh, wow. This is bizarre. Really bizarre. Really? You don't believe fairies exist?”

“For what it's worth, it's a belief I may have to be discarded because of your presence. Are there a lot of fairies where you come from?”

The shadow of a smile appeared on her face. “More than you can believe.”

It's official. Your guest officially comes from Wonderland.

“So, why aren't they widespread any more, Ms...? Um, Ms...?”

An actual smile appeared this time. “Cardew. Cecily Cardew.”

You blink in surprise. “Is that a usual name for a fairy?”

She actually laughs. “No, actually. It isn't. But it's the one I chose, and the one I like.”

“Huh. So about my question...”

Cecily sighs. “I don't really know, but I think it has something to do with magic fading all over the place, and fairies are beings of magic, we can only live in pockets where magic is still strong. Don't ask me why I ended up here. I know as much as you do about that.”

Huh. This just brings up even more questions. “So I'm guessing you don't have parents.”

She shook her head. “Not like animals, no. You can say magic is our mum and dad if you want, but we just are.” She puts her hands on her hips. “But that doesn't mean we don't exist, okay? You did give me a cup of tea and a biscuit, after all. You don't serve tea to something that doesn't exist.”

“And I did carry you home,” you add.

The maid blinks in surprise. “Oh, yes. You did.”

You grin. “So you owe me a life of servitude now.”

Her face turns white. “Ah...”

“Joking,” you hold up a hand, “It feels weird saying that to an eight year old.”

“I'm not-” she begins, before rolling her eyes, “Mr I-don't-believe-in-fairies. I forgot.” She pokes you on the nose. “Guess how old I am, remembering I'm a fairy.”

You have to humour her. “Ten.”

“Wrong.”

“Twelve?”

“Nope.”

“Six?”

Her response to this is to cross her arms and pout, making her looking even younger.

“Two hundred and sixty-three?”

She stares at you in stunned silence before bursting into giggles.

“Ah...no, that was a trick question. I don't know how old I am. Fairies don't keep track of their age Why would we? Most of us just...be. Ravenclaw reckons I'm sixteen, but I don't know how correct her guesses are, and honestly, I don't really care.”

“You want to just be?”

She shrugs. “I don't think it's very important. That's one thing us fairies have got right.” She brings her knees to her chest and looks at the ceiling. “No fairies, huh? It one thing reading about it, another actually seeing it.”

You frown as a thought occurs to you. “The lack of magic here isn't going to be problem for you, is it?”

Cecily blinks in surprise, and looks at her arm, shaking it. “I think so. I feel normal.” She tenses, and a ball of light erupts from her palm hitting the ceiling, where it dissipates.

You jump in surprise. “Hey warn me before you do something like that.”

She looks at you curiously, before saying, “Oh, right. Not used to magic.”



After two hours of fruitless searching on the internet, the sun gives up for the day and slinks behind the horizon, you decide to adjourn. Your search for a solution to this fairy dilemma was hampered by Cecily asking questions about anything and everything about the laptop.

She still can't fully believe that the internet exists.

“Those pages can been read by anyone, anywhere?”

“Anyone with a computer and an internet connection,” you admit, “Which I think is less than half the global population.”

“But any of those people can write pages as well.”

“Essentially.”

“Wow,” she looks at the now closed laptop, “Have you written any pages?”

You pause at the question. “No, not really.”

She looks at you, frowning. “Why?”

You shrug. “Don't have anything to write about.”

Cecily has no reply to this and is silent as you try to figure out what to do with her. She could stay for the night, that was possible if you slept on the couch, but she couldn't stay for much longer than that. You were a student and you actually have stuff to do and things to attend, and you can't just bring her along to these things.

Your stomach pointedly reminds you that all of this was well and good but it would really want you to find a way of getting dinner now, if you could.

[]Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[]Cecily's dressed as a maid, so she must have some skill cooking. With her help, perhaps you can make something above mediocre.
-[]Cecily's a guest, so asking her to cook would be inappropriate. You can whip up something decent. Probably.

[]Cooking is too much of a bother. Let's order something.
-[]Bringing Cecily around may not be the best idea. You'll just take away something and bring it home for a convenient dinner.
-[]Leaving Cecily alone in your apartment may not be the best idea. You'll just take her out to some place where you won't draw attention.





I've decided that I'm going to use pure write-in choices very rarely.

I've also decided that the chance to name our protagonist is still open.
>> No. 47915
[X] Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[X] Cecily's dressed as a maid, so she must have some skill cooking. With her help, perhaps you can make something above mediocre.

Neither taking her along nor leaving her alone is a good idea while we haven't any way to hide her wings. We can start splitting up once we're sure she won't attract attention alone.

>I've also decided that the chance to name our protagonist is still open.
Or you could try writing the entire story without referring to the protagonist by name. That sort of thing might improve the immersion, if done correctly.
>> No. 47916
[X]Cooking is too much of a bother. Let's order something.
-[X]Bringing Cecily around may not be the best idea. You'll just take away something and bring it home for a convenient dinner.
>> No. 47917
I'm not sure where this story is going, but I like what I'm reading now. Cecila's great. Please name Protagonist-kun.

[x]Cooking is too much of a bother. Let's order something.
-[x]Leaving Cecily alone in your apartment may not be the best idea. You'll just take her out to some place where you won't draw attention.

If I'm understanding this right, she's native to Gensokyo? Joined up 5 years ago, the mansion showed up 10 years ago. So she should get a kick out of a nice walk.
>> No. 47918
[X] Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[X] Cecily's dressed as a maid, so she must have some skill cooking. With her help, perhaps you can make something above mediocre.

The whole "Anon protag" thing is really annoying. I honestly don't care what his name is, so long as he has one.
>> No. 47919
[X] Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[X] Cecily's dressed as a maid, so she must have some skill cooking. With her help, perhaps you can make something above mediocre.

Is anyone else getting a British vibe from the MC? If he is in fact British he deserves a suitable name, like Thomson Helling or John Locke.
>> No. 47921
[x]Cooking is too much of a bother. Let's order something.
-[x]Leaving Cecily alone in your apartment may not be the best idea. You'll just take her out to some place where you won't draw attention.

Beacause FUCK staying in house!
>> No. 47922
>>47919

Im getting the vibe that OP is British, rather than MC being British
>> No. 47925
[X]Cooking is too much of a bother. Let's order something.
-[X]Bringing Cecily around may not be the best idea. You'll just take away something and bring it home for a convenient dinner.

Why not.
>> No. 47926
[x] Cooking is too much of a bother. Let's order something.
-[x] Leaving Cecily alone in your apartment may not be the best idea. You'll just take her out to some place where you won't draw attention.

If she thinks computers and the internet are amazing, urban civilization will be even more... impressive.
>> No. 47938
[X] Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[X] Cecily's dressed as a maid, so she must have some skill cooking. With her help, perhaps you can make something above mediocre.

Wait 'til she sees the microwave.
>> No. 47939
Assuming all maids can cook, when this one has already said she worked in a library. For shame.
>> No. 47940
[]Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[]Cecily's a guest, so asking her to cook would be inappropriate. You can whip up something decent. Probably.
>> No. 47950
>>47919
>>47922
It was the word 'biscuit' wasn't it? Outside Sesame Street, I've never really liked the word 'cookie'. I'm also actually Australian, so there's that, too.

On the name business, I'm torn. On one hand, I've never been good at naming characters and I don't really want protagonist to be greatly influenced by a name. On the other, it gets a bit ridiculous when dialogue would really need a name, but would have to do with 'you' or 'him'.

I'm also highly amused at what appears to be a desire to show off.

Calling for:
[X] Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[X] Cecily's dressed as a maid, so she must have some skill cooking. With her help, perhaps you can make something above mediocre.
>> No. 47961
>>47950
So what do you forn'rs call biscuits then?
>> No. 47971
[X]Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[X]Cecily's a guest, so asking her to cook would be inappropriate. You can whip up something decent. Probably.

If all else fails, we are the toppest Top Ramen man who ever manned a Top Ramen top.
>> No. 47976
>>47950
My advice, as little as it's worth? Ask folks to vote for a name. Then automatically veto anything that's a reference, or anything that even sounds like a reference. Then veto anything that suggests an attitude (people tend to become irritated if protagonists named "Hawk" or "Blade" aren't appropriately awesome). Then veto anything that sets off that internal alarm of yours, even if you can't justify it.

Then tally up the votes for what's left.
>> No. 48008
[X] Going out is too much of a bother. Let's just stay at home.
-[X] Cecily's dressed as a maid, so she must have some skill cooking. With her help, perhaps you can make something above mediocre.

Honestly, it was just dinner. You prepared something every night, so it wasn't as if you were completely inept. No, wait, correction: you prepared something to the extent of following the direction on the side of the box on about fifty percent of the time, about twenty percent of the time you ate out, and the remaining percent was what your mother would call 'actual cooking'.

And that stings coming from her.

“So, are you any good at cooking, at all?” you asked hopefully, staring at the kitchen. It wasn't impressive, but it was adequate for your tastes that preferred a meal that can be scarfed down in less than ten minutes over something that needed a minute chewing every mouthful for full appreciation.

Your guest was also staring into the small kitchen. “Sometimes we are put into rotation so that we have can cover for the others. Um, I did say I worked in a library though, didn't I?”

“You strongly implied it.” You sigh heavily. “No good with cooking?”

She shifts uneasily. “Can I wash the dishes? It's what I usually end up doing. I'm alright with water.”

You open the fridge, only to be disappointed with your utter lack of choice inside. Your parents had drilled into you an automatic avoidance of artificial produce, but this came with a hefty price in both monetary and choice terms. Sure, every so often your parents would send you some 'non-ersatz' food from wherever the hell they were at the time, but the goody packages only came rarely and usually you gave them to acquaintances that could actually make the most of the food. That did not leave you with a lot.

Trying to distract yourself from this disappointing turn of events, you look at Cecily, who was in turn looking at your stove. It was the look that you would normally reserve for serial killers and vicious carnivores. Speaking of carnivores...

“You fairy types can eat meat, right?”

“Huh? Oh, well, yes. We can. Most of us don't. Feel icky, eating animals, and we don't need to. We can, if we have to, but when does that happen?” She smiled in self depreciation. “I mean, we're not exactly designed for hunting prey. We usually are prey for youkai. So just a salad or something would be fine.”



A salad it was. Unlike your guest, you preferred to eat meat, but tonight you could do without. While laziness was a significant factor in this decision, there was another reason you didn't cook anything for dinner.

“You don't like stoves, do you?” you ask, pointing your fork at Cecily.

This question came when she was halfway between getting something off her plate and putting it in her mouth. Placing her food down, she asks, “Why do you say that?”

“You were giving mine a particularly evil eye,” you explain, as you stab a leaf, “Don't like cooking with fire?”

“Don't like fire in general,” Cecily elaborates, “Never did. Just when you think you've got your eye on it, it suddenly surrounds you, leaving no place to run. It's why I hung out on the lake a lot.”

“Huh.”

There was a couple of minutes where you ate in silence. Your usual breakneck eating pace was slowed by you looking at how the fairy ate. For the most part, she ate with etiquette but every so often she cut a corner or slacked a step, before noticeably correcting herself, once or twice with her other hand.

Despite the delays, you finished your meal before Cecily, probably because of her self-forced pomp and circumstance. “You don't have to be that formal, you know. This isn't a fancy restaurant or something.”

“Want to be.”

You frown. “Hmm?”

“Formal. Want to be formal. It feels better.”

“Really? Is that encouraged where you work? At the SDM?”

Cecily thought about it. “Kind of. Not really. It's not like most of us ate with our bosses.”

“So why do you want to be formal if you don't have to be?”

She shrugs, as if to ask, 'why do we want whatever we want?'

You decide to turn the conversation in a different direction. “So what are your bosses like?”

“Well, the higher up I usually talk with-” Cecily paused. “Well, not so much talk but 'interact' with, is the head librarian, Mistress Knowledge. Not very much a conversationalist, at all. Just get this, return that, enchant this, teach these things to these fairies. Her assistant, Koakuma...is strange? Like she's a piece of prose between verses of poetry.”

“Are they fairies too?”

“No, Mistress Knowledge is a magician, and Koakuma, like the name suggests, is a devil.”

“Oh my.”

“Mistress Izayoi is like the fairy coordinator, although she's not a fairy either. It's strange, because most of us treat her like an older sister, but the rest of the bosses treat her like a younger sister.” She frowns at her own words as she finishes her portion.

“Thank you for the meal.”



“And Mistress Scarlet?” you ask, putting the last dish away.

“Ah?”

“What's she like?”

Cecily's expression turned vacant the way is usually did when she was contemplating something. Then a smirk crawled onto her face. “Melodramatic.”

“Really? How so?”

“Anybody who declares herself to the descendant of Dracula is melodramatic.”

“Oh. So she is a vampire.”

“And from what I've read, melodrama is a defining trait of the species. She does like plays, though, and supports us when we wants to stage a little thing.” Her face turns wistful at these words. “Hey, are you going to help me back home? It might take a while, considering I don't know how.”

You sigh. “I will try. I won't promise something I'm not completely sure I can do, but I will do all I can.”



Lying on the couch, you look up at the roof, lost in thought.

So. Fairies existed. This challenged the way you saw the world profoundly. Not only that, Cecily literally just fell into your life, stirring the mundane schedule of your day-to-day. What did all of this mean? If you were the that type of person, you would be wondering 'Why me?' and would be going through the utter boring average that was your life.

You weren't that type of person.

The question “What am I going to do now?” was much more prevalent.

Well, tomorrow was a Sunday, so...

Choice 1: You were going to buy some clothes for Cecily, and an extra mattress, but when you go out...

[]Cecily was staying at home. You did not want to draw attention, and she could get herself acquainted with the place if she was staying for a while.
[]Cecily was coming with you. You didn't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you were buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.

Choice 2: A university student is probably not the best person to be put into this situation...

[]But the less people that knew of her existence, the better. Keep it to yourself.
[]Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend staying over for a while' advice.
[]Introducing Cecily to a friend would be alright. However, keep the whole 'fairy' thing out of it. Crazy is not how you want to be seen.
[]Help. You need someone to share this absurd scenario with. Maybe they know where Wonderland is?

Choice 3: NAME
[]If you have a good title for our protagonist, please suggest it. Who knows? It might be used.
[]Names are overrated.





And despite the onslaught of headaches and general feeling poor, I give you this!
>> No. 48009
[X] Cecily was staying at home. You did not want to draw attention, and she could get herself acquainted with the place if she was staying for a while.
-[X] Make sure she knows to keep the doors, curtains and windows closed, and not to leave the house for any reason. The last thing she needs is attention from a world that doesn't know her kind exists.

[X] Help. You need someone to share this absurd scenario with. Maybe they know where Wonderland is?
-[X] Request suggestions by way of a hypothetical situation posed anonymously on the internet. Among the piles of trash, there might be some gems. Obviously you'd post it somewhere where people tend to be reasonable and have the capacity to suspend their disbelief, perhaps as even a fully-fledged quest thread or something like that.

[X] Names are overrated. We are anonymous.
>> No. 48010
>>48009
[X] This vote looks good
>> No. 48016
[x] Cecily is coming with you. You don't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you're buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x] Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend staying over for a while' advice.
[x] Names are overrated.

"Make sure to stay inside, keep away from the windows, and don't answer the door, you freak of nature." Yeah, no.
>> No. 48017
[x] Cecily is coming with you. You don't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you're buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x] Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend staying over for a while' advice.
[x] Mark.

Come on guys, we desperately need a name! We can't just rely on being anonymous our whole lives! That said it will also make the protagonist seem like an actual person rather than a faceless abomination.
>> No. 48018
[x]Cecily was coming with you. You didn't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you were buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x]Help. You need someone to share this absurd scenario with. Maybe they know where Wonderland is?
[x] Brian

If we're going to tell the full story, I imagine the citations for the SDM wikipedia article would be a good start. Or some other paranormal investigators. Like, perhaps, Renko and Maribel. nevermind that they're from the future, that little detail gets ignored in fanworks all the time

and this guy seems like a Brian
>> No. 48020
[x] Cecily is coming with you. You don't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you're buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x] Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend/niece staying over for a while' advice.
[x] Brian.

Maybe if we tell something about a niece or cousin we can pass off some of the stuff as a child dressing up or something?
Also, Brian sounds good.
>> No. 48021
[X] Cecily was staying at home. You did not want to draw attention, and she could get herself acquainted with the place if she was staying for a while.
-[X] Make sure she knows to keep the doors, curtains and windows closed, and not to leave the house for any reason. The last thing she needs is attention from a world that doesn't know her kind exists.

[X] Help. You need someone to share this absurd scenario with. Maybe they know where Wonderland is?
-[X] Request suggestions by way of a hypothetical situation posed anonymously on the internet. Among the piles of trash, there might be some gems. Obviously you'd post it somewhere where people tend to be reasonable and have the capacity to suspend their disbelief, perhaps as even a fully-fledged quest thread or something like that.

[X] Mark

yeah I know it's tide pissing but at least I'm thinking on my own.
>> No. 48030
[x] Cecily is coming with you. You don't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you're buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x] Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend staying over for a while' advice.

[x]Dent. Arthur Dent.
>> No. 48035
[x] Cecily is coming with you. You don't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you're buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x] Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend/niece staying over for a while' advice.
[x] Brian.

Brian...Dent...Lord Terribus the Cursed...I honestly don't care as long as it's a name.
>> No. 48039
[x] Cecily is coming with you. You don't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you're buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x] Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend staying over for a while' advice.
[x]Dentarthurdent Arthur Dent

The name reference, it calls to me!
>> No. 48048
[X] Doyle Kent.
>> No. 48059
[X] Slartibartfa-...
- [X] Arthur Dent.
>> No. 48060
[X] Either Brian or Mark; whichever is ahead in votes before you factor in mine.
>> No. 48061
>>48016 here. Since it looks like we're getting named, I'm changing that part of my vote to
[x] No reference names.
>> No. 48063
And with that, let's look at the results!

[x] Cecily is coming with you. You don't want a potentially bored fairy left in your house, and if you're buying clothes for her, it would be preferable to bring her with you.
[x] Advice would be appreciated, but attention would not. Ask someone for general 'taking care of a friend staying over for a while' advice.

And our protagonist shall be called [x]Brian.
Full name Brian M. Dent, because I feel like it, but that shouldn't really come up that often.

Writing now, and as I do so, tell me how to improve and what you want to see more of.
>> No. 48064
>Writing now, and as I do so, tell me how to improve and what you want to see more of.
You might have better luck if you try asking for feedback immediately after updating. Or maybe before.
>> No. 48241
Is this dead?
>> No. 48293
>>48241
God I hope not.
>> No. 49440
You look at the fairies that you had to take care of. You distinctly remember being terrified when you in their same position. Now, you were pretty sure that the new girls were much more confident than their instructor (i.e. you).

“Now I'll be honest, Mistresses Patchouli and Koakuma usually are very organised with the books, and it's only when Mistress Patchouli goes into 'full study mode' that we have to pick up and return tomes.”

One raises a hand. “Full study mode?”

“You'll know it when you see it.” You pause to think. “She usually doesn't eat during those times. But knowing how to return books back to the shelves comes into handy when the Black-White breaks in.”

Ah. There was the fear you were waiting for.

“As you well know, we do not stand much of a chance against the Black-White, so feel free to adopt the official library policy 'shoot and run like hell' if you do see her. You'll probably hear her first, though. Explosions and screams both.”


-

It turns out a full night's sleep was not conductive to making yesterday's events seem any less bizarre. As it happens, the couch was a rather mediocre sleeping place. You were definitely going to take back your bed, and that meant buying some place for your guest to sleep.

Speaking of both your bed and your house guest, it appeared that she had not risen yet as your bedroom door was still shut. Yawning, you open it.

Cecily's expression was a mixture of surprise, uncertainty, fear, and surprise at her uncertainty of whether she should feel fear. It was difficult to tell exactly, as much of it was hidden behind a book which she held. She said she worked in a library, didn't she?

“Have a good sleep?” you ask.

“Sleep?” She looks at your alarm clock. “It's morning?”

A dull, aching part of your brain screams at the fact that your guest did not take full advantage of the comforting and sleep-assisting qualities your bed had to offer, but you do your best to smile, tired as you were.

“A good read, then?”

Cecily nods, gets out of your bed (your soft, non-couch bed), and walks to your bookshelf, slotting the book back into its proper place. Another yawn from you prompts another question.

“Aren't you tired? I would be if I was in your position, being so far from home. Or is that another fairy thing?”

“I don't know if it's a fairy thing,” she says softly, “But I don't get tired when I read.”
“Actually,” she giggles, “That's definitely not a fairy thing. Most of us can't read, fewer like it.”

“So you're weird,” you state before you can stop yourself. You blame tiredness, but that still doesn't make you feel any less stupid for saying it.

Thankfully, she doesn't react to your words, instead adopting her vacant 'thinking about something else' expression that she normally adopts.

“Up for breakfast?” you ask, and her reverie is instantly broken.

“I would like that, thanks.”

-

The proposal of going out caused equal amounts fear and curiosity in Cecily. The apron and head frill thing were removed so that she didn't look like a maid, but there was still the problem of the wings.

Part of the problem was convincing her that they were a problem.

“I don't think either of us would benefit from the attention you being a fairy would bring,” you stress.

“Why not?” she asks, fluttering her wings, “Maybe humans should realise fairies exist outside of stories, and maybe someone will know where the SDM actually is.”

Briefly you entertain the thought before discarding it completely. “Believe me, attention from a world that doesn't know your kind exists? It's the last thing you and I need. Bringing you back to Wonderland will require minimum fuss and complication.”

A little disappointed, she folds her wings against her back. “Okay.”

You can't help but feel a bit bad, but you stand by what you said. You especially didn't want your house to become a media playground, and who knows what of horribleness that would bring. Not to mention the what your parents would think...

Shaking such worries out of your head, you give Cecily a jacket. “It's a little big for you, but it should hide the wings.”

You weren't lying. The sleeves of the thing covers her hands, and it hangs a significant length below her waist, but not enough to impede her walking. That's what you think, before she takes a few steps as though it was an issue.

“It's strange,” she says cautiously, “Having my wings covered.”

You think back to how she usually moved. Unlike the stop-start movements of the present, her movement yesterday was more like gliding, or ice skating, or that thing ballerinas did. You wonder if her heels actually touched the ground at all.

-

It was thus slow going as you walked down the street. It was further slowed by the fact that Cecily seemed to ask a question about every single thing she saw. You tried your best to answer them but some of the questions you hadn't even thought about before in your life. Why were STOP signs Octagonal, anyway?

All in all, Cecily was most disorientated by the fact that the streets seemed to go on forever, with not an untamed forest or field in sight. “I can see why fairies can't spawn here now,” she says.

“Oh?”

“It's too...” she looks around for a word, “Human? Ordered? It's like when you can tell how a story's going to end, and you've only read the first chapter. The village is like that too, except smaller of course.”

“Predictable?”

“Something like that? It's hard to describe. I always assumed it was a human thing. There must a lot of humans here. It's somewhat stifling.” She looks apologetic. “I don't mean to be mean.”

“Well, there are seven billion of us.”

She stops walking. “How many zeroes is that?”

“Well, a million is six zeroes, so nine, I suppose.”

“Oh. That's...big. I guess?”

You doubt that she realises how big that number really is, but then again, do you? The human mind had a limit of how much it could process, if you recall correctly. You wonder if fairies were similar in mindset, speaking of which...

“Earlier this morning, you said that not many fairies read.”

“Yes. That's right.”

“Why do you like reading?”

She doesn't answer. She doesn't even look at you, instead stretching, hopping and skipping as if she was an idle child trying to make the process of walking more interesting. This continues for a while, and you decide to let the matter drop.

-

It was only when you entered the department store, and it was with some dismay, that you realised that you had no idea how to shop for clothes that will not be worn by you. And you only bought clothes out of absolute necessity. Yet another reminder of how despairingly out of your depth you were.

“There's just too much,” Cecily laments, looking over the vast collection of threads that were available, “It's like the library, but with clothes.” The fairy's tone made it quite clear that she would very much prefer if it was a library.

For your part, it felt awkward standing in the girl's section of the store, and so it was almost a welcome distraction when your mobile rang.

“Hello, Fi,” you greet as Cecily looks at you strangely.

”Hello, you. So, let me guess, you just woke up?”

Fiona was a nice person. Really. But that was part of the problem with her. If she weren't so likeable and nice, you could've just written her off as a religious nutter whose beliefs you could mock and thus distance yourself from. But she wasn't. That is to say, she was still a religious nutter, but she was a likeable and nice religious nutter.

“Not all of us need to go to church today, Fi. But no, actually I'm not. I'm...” You look at Cecily, who simply looks back at you, head tilted in curiosity. “A family friend has to stay at my place for a bit and I'm just organising stuff for that.” You pause. “It has nothing to do with my parents.”

You hear a sigh of relief on the other end. Then, ”You, being social? Who are you and why do you have Brian's phone?”

“Har. Har,” you reply tiredly, “Actually, you hosted some pilgrims for that Pope thing last year.”

”World Youth Day, yes.”

“Any advice?” you ask, as you see Cecily return to the clothes rack, reading the text on the T-shirts.

”Be friendly, answer questions, treat them as yourself. They're probably stressing as much about being a good guest as you are being a good host. Make them feel that your home is theirs, and that you are their brother. Simple, really.”

“And when I go to lectures tomorrow?”

”They probably their own things to do. A bit of organising around your schedules would do the trick.”

You look at the fairy, who seemed to be trying to work out what a Brand name meant.

“I don't think she really has a schedule, so to speak.”

”She?”

You make an exasperated expression despite the fact that your conversation partner won't see. “I plan to be a complete gentleman about this.”

”I don't doubt you do, but I'll pray that you'll resist temptation all the same.”

“You have that little faith in me?”

”Even the most devout of us are nothing without God.”

You sigh. “Well, that's not the point. She doesn't have a schedule. She doesn't have anything to really do.” Except try and find a way back to Wonderland, but that of course went unsaid.

”Well, you can find something for her to do. I could always use another voice in spreading the-”

“No.” A fairy preaching the bible. Humorous, but not what you needed in your life right now.

”Oh. Okay, but ask her if she wants to, okay? Not everyone's in spiritual denial, you know. I got to go. See you.”

Conversation done, you look at Cecily, who had decided on a shirt. It would do for now.

-

“Something wrong?”

Cecily looked up from poking her salad, and sighed. “No, I suppose I'm just used to the Mansion's food.” She put her fork down. “What you were saying before. I don't want to be more of a hindrance than I've already been. So I want to go home as soon as possible, but be useful in the time before then.”

“We should focus on getting you back to Wonderland, then,” you say, “The only question is how.”

You both start to think.

[]We live in a technological world, and the internet is our greatest resource.
-[]The Wikipedia on the SDM had some citations. It might help to start searching there, but as Cecily stated, it treated it more of a ghost story than anything.
-[]Look up fairies and magic. Cecily said something about this place being too 'human' to spawn fairies.
-[]Write in any other things to look out for.

[]Quiz Cecily more about her home
-[]Write in questions

[]Write in other ideas.

-

I'm back.
>> No. 49442
[x]We live in a technological world, and the internet is our greatest resource.
-[x]The Wikipedia on the SDM had some citations. It might help to start searching there, but as Cecily stated, it treated it more of a ghost story than anything.

Works for papers, it'll work for this.

Good to see you again. I liked this story.
>> No. 49445
[x]We live in a technological world, and the internet is our greatest resource.
-[x]The Wikipedia on the SDM had some citations. It might help to start searching there, but as Cecily stated, it treated it more of a ghost story than anything.

[x]Quiz Cecily more about her home.
-[x] The village, what was the people like? Any notable person?
-[x] What was the religion of the people over there? Might be good to know the closest place in this world.
--[x] Alternatively what about the food and drink?
-[x] You talked about untamed forest and human influence, I'm curious about that.

>World's youth day.
Are we in Madrid or something?
>> No. 49447
>>49445
Sydney I assume.

[x] The village, what was the people like? Any notable person?
-[x] What was the religion of the people over there? Might be good to know the closest place in this world.
--[x] Alternatively what about the food and drink?
-[x] You talked about untamed forest and human influence, I'm curious about that.
>> No. 49448
[x] The village, what was the people like? Any notable person?
-[x] What was the religion of the people over there? Might be good to know the closest place in this world.
--[x] Alternatively what about the food and drink?
-[x] You talked about untamed forest and human influence, I'm curious about that.

The fairy is Cecily Cardew and the name Earnest wasn't considered?
>> No. 49452
[x]We live in a technological world, and the internet is our greatest resource.
-[x]The Wikipedia on the SDM had some citations. It might help to start searching there, but as Cecily stated, it treated it more of a ghost story than anything.
--[x] Try googling it and see what it gets you.
>> No. 49479
[x] We live in a technological world, and the internet is our greatest resource.
-[x] The Wikipedia article on the SDM had some citations. It might help to start searching there, but as Cecily stated, it treated it more like a ghost story than anything.
[x] Quiz Cecily more about her home.
-[x] What were the people like in the village? Anyone notable?
-[x] You talked about untamed forest and human influence, I'm curious about that.

Get a proofreader. It's not too bad yet, but you've still gone downhill since post one. Still, I'm very glad this story is back.
>> No. 58022
I'm not expecting anybody to read this after so long, but I'm considering coming back to writing this after an extremely long while. I've read over things and I planned things out a bit unlike last time and I would like to have another crack at this.

Sage for things.
>> No. 60509
>>58022
...I read it. I like it.
I guess I'm a little late to the party, though.

Sage for things.