[Return]
Archived Thread

File 135033001314.jpg - (55.41KB , 700x490 , The View From Earth.jpg ) [iqdb]
47187 No. 47187
Connecting to data links...
connected. Loading "War of Lights.index"
Checking security level. Access de$$&#(*& Access permitted.
Prolog Started: Year set to 4536 CE.
Chose targeted culture for thought link:
[ ] Lunarian [eientei]
[ ] Rogue Elements
[ ] Justice and Rehabilitation
[ ] Thaumic Maintenance, The Imperial Ceremony
[ ] The Old Families
[ ] The Shogun's Military and Propaganda
[ ] The Infernal Palace
[ ] The Colonies

>> No. 47188
[X] The Shogun's Military and Propaganda

War is won through the masses, and if we intend to win we must control them.
>> No. 47189
[X] Thaumic Maintenance, The Imperial Ceremony

It has the word "Imperial" in it.
>> No. 47190
Called: [X] The Shogun's Military and Propaganda
>> No. 47192
[x] The Infernal Palace

Could be Makai or the Palace of the Earth spirits. Both would be welcome.
>> No. 47193
[x] The Infernal Palace
>>47192
Your words. They speak to me.
>> No. 47194
[x] Infernal Palace

Go go possibility of Shinki!
>> No. 47195
[x] The Infernal Palace

Cause it has the word Infernal in it.
>> No. 47197
[ ] Justice and Rehabilitation

Never, ever read any damn (pardon the pun) stories here.
>> No. 47198
[X] The Shogun's Military and Propaganda

Well this certainly looks interesting.
>> No. 47199
Okay, for real this time, called.
Stop voting.
But because you guys made my ego, or is that Eggo? You are getting a short on the second place vote as well.

I write hella slow though, so update in 2 days minimum.
>> No. 47200
>hella slow
>2 days

laughingslowfags.jpg

Not that I don't want you to update in two days. Far from it. I'm just saying that most stories on this site update far less often.

Just don't disappear on us. ;_;
>> No. 47201
Update is about 5% done. Just thought you should know. Got distracted by world building and stupid programing tricks. (agda is awesome if you are a math of cs type person)
>> No. 47202
Rough of the main update is done.
Only about 10% done on the bonus.
>> No. 47204
Just a bit of advice op, try not to call votes as quickly as you did if you arent going to be hammering out updates.
>> No. 47205
Yeah, that was dumb of me.
>> No. 47244
Update later today.
>> No. 47271
I have it writen but computer is being flakey.
>> No. 47330
File 13516497303.jpg - (71.56KB , 450x338 , Cave.jpg ) [iqdb]
47330
> Infernal Palace, Makai
Searching for Makai ...Last records of Queendom of Makai in 12 BSC (4503 CE). That is outside the range of this program. Please see the “Visitor’s War” in the “Imperial Era” index.
Makai refugees classified as Rogue Elements. The Martian Protectorate, and the Unified Martian Front, are classified under Colonies.
Did you mean Infernal Palace, (Old) Hell?
(y,n, other) > y
Searching for Infernal Palace Culture. Targets found. Default Protagonist selected. Thought Links activating....

Okuu was in a basalt cave. Long and narrow, an old lava tube, dead and drying alge

Okuu was in a cavern of white limestone, cold and slick to the touch. The backdraft from her wings was the only air movement as as she rushed down the cave; the lantern on her head the only source of light. She hovered in place for a moment, her back and shoulders hot and sore from the exertion.

“Sky-burnt cheapskate.” Okuu cursed at the handheld navigator clutched in your her right hand. “I knew I should have bought a new one. ‘Its just a little crack, I’ll replace it next time.’” she sarcastically chanted at her self” Bird-brain. trojan-infested sky-burnt stick-bearing human-tongued bird-brain.” she cursed at herself, pulling her arm back and throwing the ruined navigator at the stone walls. the handheld didn’t even break satisfyingly, it just bounced down the cave and out of the range of her light. Clunk-clunk clunk clunk ...clunk...clunk....clunk..clunk. She let loose a scream of pure frustration. “Stupid, stupid bird-brain Okuu. Need to calm down. Breath in” she said doing so “Breath out. Master Satori is going to be so disappointed. She trusted me to take care of myself. To inspect my own equipment to not go too far from the City.”

“They’re right about stupid bird brain Okuu. Crazy okuu isn’t good for anything.” She said sniffling landing on a shield shaped rise in bottom of the cave. “Oww.” she whined as she tripped and slammed her right thigh into the ground. “Everything is going wrong..I'm going to die..I should just kill my self it would save the trouble..it would be so easy..”

[ ] Hope
[ ] Anger
[ ] Logic
[ ] Training
[ ] Love
[s][ ] Despair[/s[
>> No. 47332
[X] Hope

The best Utsuho is the naive, lovable kind.

Also, you may want to pick up a proof-reader. If the big-name proofreaders are unavailable, I would be willing. I already proofread one story here.
>> No. 47333
[x] Training

Rocky style
>> No. 47334
[ ] Hope

Hell no. We don't break Okuu.
>> No. 47336
[X] Hope
>> No. 47338
Oh, damn, I knew there was a reason I hadn't posted this up here yet.

The proofer I was going to use flaked out on me and I was trying to arrange something when my computer troubles hit. And then I installed Thief. Damn good game.
, totally sapped my will to write.

How does one get something proofed, I assume posting a email would just attract spam bots.
>> No. 47339
I would recommend asking around on the IRC.
>> No. 47341
Will do.

I'll be calling this tomorrow sometime so I can start writing btw.
>> No. 47348
Called for "Hope"
>> No. 47384
>>47348
Started the draft.
>> No. 47386
Looking for beta.
>> No. 47387
>>47386
Consider, in future, calling it "proofreading". The only place I can think of that calls it "beta-reading" is FF.net. That's not really something you want to associate yourself with here, given the generally abysmal level of quality there, and the (somewhat) higher standards we hold writefags to.
>> No. 47389
And stop posting about every little advancement of progress, especially without saging. This isn't your blog.
>> No. 47390
Noted.
>> No. 47397
File 13527423261.png - (246.72KB , 576x352 , We don't have an axe.png ) [iqdb]
47397
> Hope

“Something has to get better, I just need to keep going. I’ll either get out..or die.” Okuu says to her self. “Dieing now is just giving up. You should never give up, because you can always be wrong.” She quotes, wiping away her tears, she stands gingerly, her wings once more pulling her into the air. Their beats blow a spray of water off the surface of the rocks.
Her flight is wobbly and hesitant, sometimes faster even impatient, and some times so slow she almost falls.

Some indeterminate time later she sees a flash of white just ahead. There, just to her right, is a hole where the wall has collapsed.It's almost hidden by the resultant pile of rubble, but the stone behind the hole is a bright white, almost glowing in the light of Okuu’s headlight.

Swooping down to in front of the entrance, she squawks in pain as her right foot touches down. “Shit..I really did hurt my ankle. Judge-damned Onis don’t hurt their feet by tripping.” She grumbles. biting her lip as she looked the pile of black stone over. “I don’t think I want to try and land on that..so yay, climbing with a bum leg.” She folds her wings in as tight as they will go, and stretches her front shoulders, giving her arms a quick rotation. “No time like the the present.” She climbs up moving sure but quickly, keeping weight off her right leg.

At the top she has to squeeze through, her wings scraping againt the top of the opening, twisting and turning, and then dropping into the opening behind. "Owww" She whines, "Why am I trying to be quiet?"

The moment she raises her eyes from her leg, her head lamp illuminates a gaunt and screaming face.

"Who? Oh, another dead crow." She frowns in concentration and squeezes a silver box tied to her front. “Another corpse found. First sign of life I’ve seen in these new tunnels I wandered into." She carefully scans the small chamber she finds herself in. "Not exactly reassuring. Skinny like the starvation victims I’ve seen in the farther caves, but there's a uneaten fish and rat corpses and yeah," she pauses here to lean down and rub a green scum between her fingers bringing it to her nose. "That green scum used to be salt-lettuce, and stalks of something.

"So she had plenty of food..oh, yeah thats a pile of vomit. So uh..I guess that’s why she.didn't finish her meal..maybe hypothermia? it is only about 85 degrees in here, I am glad I bought my city clothes ..lets see if I can..no she should have eaten all of this if she was suffering from hypothermia..” she reaches and tries to pull the greying wings away a little from corpse. “Those look like burns.. but what under the night-blue-sky could burn a hellcrow without incinerating the body, might explain the mummification maybe..if it flash dried her..but no then she wouldn’t have been able to get here, and there’s nothing here that hot. If this is a plague it’s damn weird. Hmm, her hair was falling out pre mortem. given the lack of insect activity..must not have been all that long ago. Still..should be more rot then there is..maybe the water is a new thing? No.. I..uh..not sure what number site this is honestly. If my notes hadn’t gotten soaked and salted that would be better..” Okuu pauses. “Well hopefully someone can read this at some point. Now..this cave does seem to aim up, and the city has limestone caves above it..so maybe this connects up to those, and I can find my way back. Before whatever killed _her_ gets me..on the other hand the lava cave seems pretty stable, and has water running down it, so is connected to _something_ higher up.”

[x] The Limestone Offshoot
[x] The Basalt Main cave
>> No. 47410
Hmmm, people seem uninterested in this.

Fair enough.
>> No. 47779
[x] The Limestone Offshoot
>> No. 47780
Called.