Archived Thread
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For some reason I felt like writing again. I'm still awful at this so don't expect anything great, okay?

"Good evening. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

That voice. It was one you hadn't heard for over two hundred years, one that you'd hoped not to ever hear again. True, you had endured this person's presence for centuries. And yet when you were finally rid of her, when she'd finally found something else to occupy her time, it was as if the previous millennium or so was just a trial, and the following years would be your reward. Yet here she is again. The grand fortune of money and treasures you've amassed, the comfortable life you worked so long to achieve, you can already tell that this nightly visit is going to void it all. You'd love it if you could just ignore her until she left and carry on with your life, but things don't work that way. They never do. You reluctantly answer the blond boundary bitch.

"Can't you at least ruin my life after I finish bathing?"

"Why the animosity? I just wanted to visit an old friend~"

"Then why not get out of my bathroom and do that instead?"

"Ah, such a hurtful thing to say!"

The two of you could go back and forth for hours, but you'd rather get this over with. "Look, why are you here?"

"Ah, yes. I come bearing a challenge of sorts. One that you stand to profit greatly from."

Damn that Yukari. She knows exactly how to keep you interested in her terrible gambits. "Go on."

"You're familiar with Gensokyo, correct?" You nod. "Well it would seem that many of its residents have some rather... rare possessions."

She goes on to show images of items you instantly identify as the cursed sword Tyrfing, the sword of Kusanagi, along with many more mystical items. At this point you're honestly curious, but you have to be cautious of any deal Yukari's offering. "What's the catch?" the all-important question is asked.

"Why, there's no catch! I simply ask that you 'liberate' these treasures from their current owners, like you did so much in the old days. You could say I felt nostalgic and thought you might be as well."

Now that she's mentioned all of this, you do kind of miss those days. All the planning, sneaking, and theft. The thrills and excitement, the ever-present threat of being discovered, the panic and subsequent escape when it happened. As much as it pains you to admit, Yukari's right: you miss it all dearly. And you're being given a chance to do it all again. You have no idea what this woman is up to (and of course she has to be up to something, it is Yukari) and you're going to hate the way this bites you in the ass, but...

"...Alright. But get out of my house and let me leave when I feel like it."

"Fine, fine~" She places something on the sink - two marbles and a note from what you can tell - and finally leaves you in peace. You sigh deeply and slump further into the tub.

"What the hell am I getting into...?"


It's the next day, and you're almost ready to leave. You've got your coat, a few tools and weapons stored in it, and those balls Yukari left. "Open one and step through. They're single-use, so don't waste them~ " the note read. That'd be good advice if you were an idiot. You look at the two balls. One's red, the other is black, And you have no idea where either is going to send you.

[] Open the red one.
[] Open the black one.

If you want to, you can pick a name and whether you're equipped with pillows or a tripod.
[x] Open the black one.
[x] Male
[x] Open the red one.
[X] Open the red one.

>equipped with pillows or a tripod
I hope he brings a sleeping bag or camera otherwise it'll just be dead weight.
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[X] Open the red one.

The red one will probably dump you in as bad a place as the other, it being the natural color of danger and the like. But this it won't really matter in the end. Rolling it around in your hand a bit, you find a small opening that you can just barely fit your fingernail into. You pop it open easily enough, revealing one of the hag's signature space-time rift things. The room is instantly filled with the scent of crisp, clean air, a stark contrast to the city you've been living in for so long. Assuming it to be safe enough, you stuff the other container in your pocket and step through.

The scent is much stronger here, much more pleasant and relaxing. The slight twinge of ambient magic around you after so long improves your mood by a great deal. The surrounding area's not bad either, what with the tops of trees and a building in your direct line of sight. The building is, of course, rather quickly increasing in size.

You'd curse that bitch for this dumb prank, but frankly you're too relaxed to give a damn. And you keep the same chill expression as you crash through the roof and break a table. Seems you've interrupted someone's breakfast, if the small moist spot on your slightly pained back is any indication.

"You know, whoever you are, using the door might've been easier," speaks the voice of a clearly annoyed girl. Somewhat short dark brown hair, a red ribbon, red clothes with detached sleeves that give a vague feeling of "shrine maiden." She's pretty cute, you'd say.

"I'll make sure to remember next time I have a choice in the matter." You get to your feet and dust yourself off. "Could you tell me where this is, Miss..?"

The girl takes a few seconds to answer, staring forlornly at her new skylight. "I'm Reimu and this is my shrine you just ruined. Now, who are you and what do you intend to do about it?" Her tone didn't change, but anyone could feel all the magical energy she's building up.

"I'm just a traveler, no one important. And certainly not one adept at construction and the like." You look down at the remains of a plate and glass underneath the broken wood. "However, I can replace your meal. Will that do for now?"

Reimu considers the offer for a moment and replies with a heavy sigh, "I guess it's a start. Kitchen's back that way." She points to an area behind her and you get walking. You find a simple stove and a few cabinets. The fancy refrigerator next to it all doesn't fit in with the old appearance, but you just roll with it. You don't find a lot inside of it and hope some eggs and sausage will be alright. Everything you need is still sitting around so getting started doesn't take long. Just a few minutes into it though, a head of long green hair appears through the side of the fridge.

"Ah, you must be the one that made all that noise a few minutes ago. Name's Mima, pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine. And I don't mean to pry, but are you a ghost?"

"I'm the god of this shrine. Speaking of which, nice job on that hole. That miko's gonna be pretty pissed until it's fixed."

"Yes, about that." You lean over and whisper your question. "What's a good way out of here?"

"This thing-" A hand phases comes through the fridge and points at it. "-is blocking a hole in the wall. Window's on the left. Make sure the turtle's asleep and the maid's not outside."

You place all the freshly cooked food on a plate and hand it to the goddess. "Thanks. See you around." Shoving the refrigerator out of the way does indeed reveal hole just big enough for you to slip through. You enter the next room and hop through the open window. A quick look around shows no sign of either the maid or the turtle, so you hop the fence and wander into some nearby trees. After a good bit of distance, you lean against a tree and evaluate your situation.

A certain huge bitch has convinced you to go to Gensokyo, and you've already managed to piss off one of the residents. You also have nowhere to stay, nor any knowledge of the lay of the land. A scream of rage is coming from the shrine. You curse that woman's sense of humor.

[] A base of operations would be a nice start.
-[] Maybe that shout wasn't from the shrine?
-[] Deeper into the forest!

[] Let's explore a bit.
[+] A base of operations would be a nice start.
-[+] Maybe that shout wasn't from the shrine?

And just for the sake of being thorough...
[+] Inventory
[+] Status
[x] A base of operations would be a nice start.
-[x] Deeper into the forest!

If it really was Reimu we would be in for a lot of running.
>[+] Inventory
>[+] Status

Whoops, meant to tack this on to the update.

Your coat, which doubles as a bag of holding, contains your old lockpicking tools, an old sword and shield you had lying around (nothing special, of course), a few tranquilizer darts in the left sleeve, and your trusty stiletto in the other.

Your health is good.
You should be Cautious in this area.
You have no map, but know that you are at a shrine.
You have no base.
Treasures acquired: 0
Rank: --

You have also regained the ability to Scan people and objects for special attributes and abilities, similar to the Libra spell except it won't show health and like. This can be done at any time, or I can include it automatically if you so wish.

Now get out there and stealsave that treasure!
[X] Auto-Scan anyone you come across for the first time.
[X] Scan the shrine.
[X] Scan the pond.
[X] Scan the forest.
>I can include it automatically if you so wish
Please do.

As far as objects go we should probably scan anything that catches our interest.
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[x] A base of operations would be a nice start.
-[x] Deeper into the forest!
[x] >>33759

An idea comes to you now that you're mostly in the clear. Gensokyo's full of magic, so maybe if you take a good look at the shrine, the way you did back then, you'll find out about its "immunity to earthquakes and lack of spiritual power...?" It worked! It's been forever but your ability is finally showing some of its former strength. You test it out more with a few more things around you. The pond you completely ignored is just barely visible, and rather plain except for something inside that "can fly." Checking ahead into the trees shows that this forest you've run into has "a dense concentration of magical energy." That'd be helpful if you were a magician. Unlike the note that just appeared on the tree in front of you.

You grab and inspect the thing. The writing is familiarly elegant, in an old cipher you created yourself. She's probably doing this to screw with you, but you read it anyway.

"I see you're off to a smashing start~! It's obvious you could do all of this yourself, but I thought I'd help a bit.
There are only two buildings in these woods, one full of lovingly-made creations and the other full of 'borrowed' goods.
Between the two there are maybe four items of significant value.
I'd also suggest befriend one of the two homeowners, but not both!

Make me proud like only you can~"

You thought it'd be helpful, anyway. Instead she's just acting like mission control or something! You disregard most of the note and start your careful hike. You focus on avoiding as many twigs and leaves as you can, in case that miko is following you. Perhaps a tad too intensely, as you almost slam right into a large black ball. Are you part of some alien murder game now? Nah, couldn't be; you haven't died yet. You Scan the thing as it inches closer. "Manipulation of darkness" sounds like a generic fantasy villain's power. And yet you've seen something similar before. But that can't be right. You reach into the darkness and feel a bunch of soft hair. Whoever it belongs to lets out a yelp as the black sphere dissipates.


"Huh? Yeah, that's me. Who is it?" The young girl in front of you certainly resembles your other old comrade, the one you don't hate. The hair, the outfit, even the ability are all similar. The only real differences are height and that ribbon.

"Wait, you don't know me?"

"Nope! Seen any tasty-looking humans though?" Even the same voracity. Then again, there are a lot of hungry youkai.

"None today, sorry."

"Is that so~? Oh well. Later, person!" The girl floats by you and starts reforming the sphere. As she passed you though, you felt some strong spiritual energy from that ribbon. Curiously, it felt like enough to actually be harmful. No self-respecting youkai would wear something like that so happily; it must be a sealing charm!

"Hey, Rumia..."

"Hm~?" She stops and turns around to face you with an innocent and ignorant smile.

[] "Hold still for a moment." Remove the charm.
[] "Er, cute ribbon." Go about your business.
[] "About that human..." Mug her.
[] "Reimu asked for you." That miko will never catch you!
[x] "About that human..." Mug her.

What a strange coincidence, running into a youkai that so eerily resembles our old partner. Might as well use this chance to start our thieving spree.
[X] "Hold still for a moment." Remove the charm.
[x] "Hold still for a moment." Remove the charm.
[+] "Hold still for a moment." Remove the charm.
I know I shouldn't but...yeah.
[X] "Hold still for a moment." Remove the charm.

Maybe we could use it on Yukari next time we see her...
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Against my better judgment, you guys get a two-fer tonight. I'm doing well enough to be late for that exam even if I do oversleep. Probably.

[x] "Hold still for a moment." Remove the charm.

"Would you stand right there for a moment?"


She puts her arms behind her back and hums a little tune as you approach her and reach for the charm. It's warm and gives a sharp prickling feeling as you touch it. As if sensing your intentions, the feeling gradually intensifies. Before it can progress too far, you rip off the seal in one quick motion.

"Hey, what are yo-" Before she can finish her question, the girl explodes into darkness. Quietly, but literally. You're thrown back quite a ways into a tree, leaving a deep impression and more than a few splinters in your spine. Ahead of you a mass of black has replaced the little Rumia. Its form is inconsistent, looking like smoke at some parts, solid as a diamond or even gelatinous in others, and never keeping the same shape for more than a few seconds. It makes its way toward you slowly, unhindered by trees or shrubbery and shrinking all the while. By the time it reaches you, its shape is distinctly adult and feminine, and the blackness gives way to a slightly lighter dress, long golden hair, and red eyes on a familiar and friendly face.

"Need a hand?" She offers her aid, which you gladly accept. She helps you up, and you stuff the charm in your pocket. Ah, the many you would've killed to have been visited by this blond instead!

"Thanks. So what was with-"

"Had a little 'incident' about a hundred years back. Pissed off the Hakurei and they shoved that thing on my head. Can you believe they made the village off-limits without telling me? The nerve."

"Could've been worse; I was considering not coming here."

"I'm glad you did, else I'd have been cramped in that small body for who knows how long!" She laughs loudly and happily, then pulls you closer. "So, why are you here? I remember you enjoying the Outside too much to leave."

"I heard there were priceless treasures here. I've come to rescue them from captivity." Leaving out the "Yukari's challenge" part would be best, considering Rumia shares your dislike of the woman.

"Captivity, right. As if that coat of yours is any better. So I assume you'll be needing my help again."

"Well, you never-" "Oooii, anyone over there!" Cut off again, this time by someone nearby but out of sight. You sense Rumia fade into the shadows and look toward the source of the voice. From a dense cluster of trees comes a young blond girl in what you guess is a witch's outfit, judging from the hat and broom. She runs up to you, then past you to look around, before turning back to you.

"Hey, tall guy in the coat, you didn't happen to see whatever made that huge burst of magic, didya?" She's probably talking about you releasing Rumia. If she didn't see it though, playing dumb ought to work.

"Burst of magic? I don't know what you're talking about." In hindsight, that was maybe a little too dumb.

"Of course you do! I felt it from over there, smelled it even. In fact," she says with confidence as she walks over to you and gives you a big whiff, "I can smell it all over you too. Which must mean that you caused the whatever-it-was! That would probably make you kinda strong, so let's duel for a bit!"

The sniffing and being sniffed and sudden leaps in logic threw you off, but you still manage to catch the challenge at the end. You Scan her, and infer that she must be a magician of sorts. Even if you wanted to fight this girl, it'd be a battle you're definitely not suited for. With all the ambient magic in these woods, she has a clear advantage.

[] It's time to duel!
[] Another retreat is fine.
[] Use that roguish charm and charisma of yours. It tends to work on blonds.
[] Mug her.
-[] Have Rumia reprise her role as "Mistress of Distraction"
-[] Go it alone.

Rumia is back in your party! With her mastery over darkness, she can easily cause a distraction or hold off pursuers. Be careful though, she has a tendency to put places on Alert.
[x] It's time to duel!

Marisa probably has more valuable stuff, even if it was recently owned by someone else. Maybe through the duel we can become friends.
[x] It's time to duel!
[x] Mug her.
-[x] Have Rumia reprise her role as "Mistress of Distraction"
Muggin Marisa isn't a crime: it is karma at work.
[x] Mug her.
-[x] Have Rumia reprise her role as "Mistress of Distraction"
[x] Mug her.
-[x] Go it alone

Marisa is a smart girl. If we have Rumia help us assault her, she'll figure out the situation.
[x] It's time to duel!

We should save the mugging for a more opportune time - one that we can possibly blame on someone else.
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Huh. Seems the votes got tied while I was finishing the update. Oh well.

[x] Mug her.
-[x] Have Rumia reprise her role as "Mistress of Distraction"

Silly girl, she probably thinks you're going to accept that offer. You have more important things to do. Namely, increasing your wealth. Hopefully she can help you with this goal, whether she wants to or not. And Rumia's help will make this go much more smoothly. You tap your shadow with your foot, knowing that to be her main hiding spot, and signal toward the young mage in front of you. What she does is an old trick, but one you love to see all the same.

"Hey, what the!" The magician's face is covered in darkness instantly. It only takes you a second to hop behind her and strike right at the base of the skull. She falls to the ground, unconscious. A classic combo, that. Now to loot the body. You bend down and start to search. The only pocket is in the apron, and inside you find a wooden block and a bunch of different mushrooms. The 'shrooms all have weak magical traits, but the real find is the small octagon. Not only is it a source of tremendous magic, but it's an amplifier as well! Still, it's pretty useless to someone like you. Into the coat it goes.

"I have wanted to get back at that witch for so long." Your partner's leaning on your back, admiring the clean KO.

"Shall we find another target, then?"

"Hmm. Her house has a lot of junk. I'll lead you there."

A short walk and reminiscent conversation later, you stop in front of a building with more plant life on its walls than it should have. The sign out front says "Kirisame Magic Shop", but you doubt there'd be any customers with all the youkai you sensed on the way here.

"This is the place. Go on in, it's never locked. Also, I have to go take care of something. Don't cry too much while I'm gone."

"Too late. I can feel the tears flowing already," you say in an exaggeratedly sobbing tone. "O woe is me, I will be alone in the world once more!"

"Idiot." She gives you a light bop on the head and flies off. Your attention turns to the door. Sure enough, it opens right up with the ring of a bell. Ya don't see that a whole lot Outside anymore.

"Oh, Marisa. It's good that you're back. I need you... to..." Suddenly you're thankful for the decline in bell usage. One step into this place and you're already caught. By another blond magician, no less. And that's another thing, what's with all these blonds everywhere?!

"Excuse me, I thought you were someone else."

And just like that she goes back to wherever in the house she had been. Not quite what you were expecting, but you'll take it. And perhaps some of the things lying around here as well. There's quite a bit to sift through, but it shouldn't be that bad. Most of what you see are mushrooms anyway. Mushrooms, magic tomes, an old wooden flute, more mushrooms, some potions you don't really want to touch, some weird looking tech device, and many more mushrooms.

Ignoring the "weird mushroom fetish" line of thought, you inspect the flute and that small machine. Scanning the machine doesn't give you info, likely due to all the science and whatnot. The flute, on the other hand, appears to actually be a sword. You have no idea how to make it go from flute to blade though. This ability of yours is pretty useless sometimes. Regardless, you store the loot; the flute in your coat and the small machine in your pocket. Not much else to do but wait for Rumia now.

[] Wait around outside.
[] Search the place more. Yukari mentioned four treasures.
[] Go see what that other magician is up to.
[] Write-in

Write-ins always viable, as are muggings.
[] Search the place more. Yukari mentioned four treasures.
[x] Search the place more. Yukari mentioned four treasures.
[x] Keep an eye out for either of the blonds re-appearing, but be quick with the search.

Can't hurt to be careful, and there's lots of liberation to be done elsewhere. Would be nice if we could be in and out of here without Marisa finding us too soon.
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[x] Search the place more. Yukari mentioned four treasures.
[x] Keep an eye out for either of the blonds re-appearing, but be quick with the search.

No amazing ideas come to you, and you end up going through the endless piles of crap, watching the front door and main room the entire time. You won't be caught off-guard this time, oh no! You're free to rifle through all these books and fungi and dolls and stupid useless trinkets for as long as you want until Rumia starts tapping on the window in front of you gods that almost scared you.

Unfortunately, it was loud enough to rouse the magician from whatever room she was in. Her footsteps are relatively loud as she moves toward the front, and it's not even interrupted by the ringing of a bell.

"Yo Alice, ya still here? Come on, I got somethin' to ask." Who is this girl? That hit you gave her should've put her out for much longer than it did. You signal for Rumia to wait and get a bit closer to hear the conversation.

"I see it's actually you this time."

"Huh? 'Course it is! Did someone else come by?"

"Yes, some youkai with a hideous coat." You are not only about to be caught, but your wonderful coat has been insulted. A great injustice, but one that must be addressed another time.

"I knew it! Hurry and help me catch him."

"But what about-" "Not now, let's go!" You speed over to the window as noiselessly as possible and look to Rumia for help. She motions for you to open the window, which you quietly do. You're yanked through shortly after, and the job of closing it is left to gravity. As it slammed down loudly, Rumia drags you to away to the side of the building.

"Got over that happy stint of yours, I see. Shame, they come around all too rarely."

"Shove it. So what'd you get?" You show her the flute-sword and techno-thing. "That's it? Damn, I thought she'd have a lot more than that."

"Oh she did. Books and mushrooms all day in there. But that's not important; tell me what you ran off and did."

"Oh nothing, just found a few more places for you to hit up. Don't worry, I don't need any thanks. Anyway there's another house not too far from here. Alice, some puppet master, lives there, but she's out right now. Easy target, if that's what you want. Then there's that shop near the village. I've never been there but I can take you to it just the same. Lastly, the Mansion across the lake. They've got some strong barriers up or something, so you're on your own getting in."

"Wow, you almost sounded like-"

"Bad joke. Try it again and lose your tongue."

Right, you won't be testing that. But those are the choices. Burglarizing Alice's house would be simple, but you're not sure how much longer she'll be away. The shop will be interesting, but that mansion sounds like a source of excitement.

[] Take care of Alice's house now.
[] It's a good time to make a "purchase".
[] Haven't been in a mansion for a while.
[] Find a place to stay already.

Why is finals week so boring?
[x] Haven't been in a mansion for a while.

Adventure awaits! It's a mansion, and is well protected. It's bound to have amazing items to borrow.
[x] Haven't been in a mansion for a while.
-[x] But not break in right away. We eventually need a place to stay, and a barrier could help hide us if the owner is approachable.

Without trying to use too much knowledge we may not have, the fact that Rumia mentioned a barrier she couldn't enter could be useful to hide us when the heat is on.

Our daring thief should see about somehow making nice-nice with Alice if and when the chance occurs later. Even if we don't like Yukari, we're operating sort of blind, so we may as well accept her suggestion to befriend Alice or Marisa.
[x] It's a good time to make a "purchase".

I'm still hoping that he gets a stable job at 'theft recovery' or 'Freelance wealth redistribution' at some place (In someplace like the SDM, per example) But who's gonna trust a thief?
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You have a point. But the SDM already has a bit of a thief problem. "Takes a thief to catch a thief" and all that, you know.

[x] Haven't been in a mansion for a while.

"Show me to the mansion, then."

"Figures. Whatever, let's hurry so I can eat."

She takes off. At a good speed as well. It's actually a challenge to keep her in your sight, and you lose track of her after a short chase through the thick trees. After a minute or two a very annoyed Rumia returns. Her glare would likely kill even a lesser youkai.

"You forgot how to fly." There is neither amusement nor sympathy in her tone. She looks more than ready to kill you for your supposed idiocy.

"That...is a distinct possibility, yes." Rumia lets out a deep groan that borders on an angry snarl. She seems to calm herself down somewhat afterwards. Maybe she's going to offer to show you how?

"I'm going to hit you. I won't stop until I feel better. If you don't figure it out by then I will cut you instead. Got it?" If anyone else had given you that line, you'd have laughed it off as a joke or an empty threat. With Rumia, well, you rarely get the warning. And she usually starts with the cutting. You nod to her in confirmation and clench your teeth.


It took a good hour, but here you are floating near the lake's edge. A few broken ribs, cracked sternum, mild concussion, large bruises here and there, but it's not all that bad. No, not as bad as it was when she got bored of punching half an hour ago. Then she took your sword. At some point you jumped back from a swipe and didn't come back down. This was enough for her, so she gave back the sword and continued showing you the way.

The mansion itself is quite impressive. You hadn't expected it to be western style, but you're more accustomed to it anyway. Many of the walls are a deep red color, not unlike blood. The tall clock tower lets you imagine what kind of beautiful view the roof would have. Trying to Scan it only tells you about the barrier Rumia found. It looks to be a good defense against youkai and many types of magic, and doubles as an alarm for anyone that breaches it. The place is certainly well-defended. Breaking in is gonna be

"Who dares to enter the domain of Cirno, Strongest in Gensokyo?"

You turn to where the question came from. You were expecting, from the sudden chill, to find some kind of powerful ice youkai. Instead, it's just a cute little fairy with ice wings. Ice wings that you press against your still slightly swollen eye.

"Wha h-h-hey stop!" She tries to push you away, but she's just too weak. You do stop after your eye is mostly recovered. But it's a pretty comfortable temperature around her. An absurd idea crosses your mind. You grab the fairy by the arm and start forcing her into your coat. She puts up even more resistance this time. A quick rap on the forehead and she's dazed enough to be pushed in. The coat immediately becomes much cooler. You look back at Rumia who's been laughing nearly since the whole exchange started.

"Oh. Oh gods. That, that was great. Best thing I've ever seen." She catches her breath and wipes away a tear. "Hooo. Don't leave my friend in there too long. But back to business: there's the Scarlet Devil Mansion right there. How do we get in?"

[] "By breaking down that barrier."
[] "Through the front door, of course."
-[] "Swords swinging, guns blazing."
-[] "Where else would an innocent traveler enter from?"
[] "We're not." (Choose another destination)
[x] "Through the front door, of course."
-[x] "Swords swinging, guns blazing."
This just can't go wrong. And such a straightforward approach is pretty rare nowadays. Let's give Remi something to be entertained about.
[x] "Through the front door, of course."
-[x] "Swords swinging, guns blazing."

Hell yeah! We don't need no stinking stealth or discretion. We just knock everyone down and rifle through their pockets while they're stunned.
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My decision to always write an update after nightfall has no chance of backfiring, right?

[x] "Through the front door, of course."
-[x] "Swords swinging, guns blazing."

"That's the best idea you've ever had. Let's do it."

You both make a beeline for the front gate. You pick up speed until you're sure it's enough to at least displace it, then you go into a drop kick. Your feet never meet the iron though. Something flips you at the last second and slams into your spine.

"I'm sorry, but the mistress isn't accepting any more visitors right now." The woman here must have done it. Looks and sounds Chinese, and seems to be a martial artist. She can control chi as well; that's probably how she managed to stop you so easily. This is one hell of a gatekeeper. Sadly there's no more gate for her to guard, since it was just broken down by a black and blond cannonball.

"Go ahead. I've got China here."

"Meiling. Hong Meiling. I'll beat it into you if I have to!"

"Strong words. Let's hope they hold true!"

There's definitely going to be an excellent fight here, but untold treasures and riches await. You get to your feet and pull out your sword and shield, both covered in a bit of frost. Dozens of fairies, some armed and some not, crowd in front of you to defend the door. You charge forth leading with the shield, cutting down any fairies attempting to get a quick hit in. It takes all of thirty seconds to reach, and bust through, the large double doors. You end the charge by executing a textbook action roll over the busted door and marble floor. You stopped at the legs of a silver-haired maid.

"Meiling already told you, didn't she? Mistress Remilia doesn't want any more company right now. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Oh, that's just fine. My business is with whatever valuables you have. Mind pointing me toward them?" The next second you can feel the tip of a knife against the back of your neck.

"My apologies, but I must insist that you leave. The mistress will be quite displeased if she's interrupted."

"It's a tad late for that line, Sakuya." Enter Remilia (you assume) from the side hall. She's much younger looking than you'd thought. Most of her abilities imply vampirism, so that may be the reason. And isn't fate manipulation a level of cheating close to or on par with Yukari? Not that the maid's ability is much better, now that you get a chance to look.

"You, who so unceremoniously destroyed my doors!" She points to you exaggeratedly. "It would seem my current guest has business with you. You are to attend to that, then immediately meet me in my chambers. Sakuya, escort him to the library." She passes you and leaves via the nearby staircase. Nothing sharp and pointy is against your neck now, so you stand.

"Come, this way." The maid, Sakuya, leads you down the same hall Remilia had come from. You pass many fairies in outfits similar to Sakuya's, who all attempt to avoid you. The place itself is rather nice. Very high quality paintings and sculptures are found at various intervals, usually across from an elegant wooden door to some room. Soon you stop in front of two doors like the ones you just broke through. Sakuya opens them and ushers you inside.

"I'll be back when you're finished. Please behave until then." And just like that she's gone. Before you are bookcases. More bookcases than any public library you've ever seen Outside, and probably more than many of them combined. But you're not here to check out a book. You see a dim light and some chairs off to the side. The smell of tea guides you to a table where you find Alice and a third magician, this one violet from the hat down.

[] Take a seat. Be civil. These two may be your first new friends in Gensokyo. Unless Cirno counts.
[] Get out of here. You won't find many treasures in a library.
[] This was a dumb idea. Go get Rumia and come back later.
[] Mug them.

And while we're at it, let Cirno out?
[] No, she'll escape!
[] Yes, you should kind to your Pokemon friends.

Isn't that how Marisa usually gets in, though?
[x] Get out of here. You won't find many treasures in a library.
[x] No, she'll escape!

Screw this crap. We didn't come here to get swept along Remilia's agenda. We're here to steal shit, and that's it. Also, no letting Cirno out. Her role in this story is as our personal thermostat.
[x] Take a seat. Be civil. These two may be your first new friends in Gensokyo. Unless Cirno counts.
-[x] No
Well that worked as I hoped. Made an impression in the house owner. Let's see where this leads... and steal them silly later.
Also, Rumia is sitll fighting, no?
If your problem is with Remilia, why are stiffing the person that's not Remilia? She requested you personally after all.

This is correct.

Tomorrow (Today? Whatever.) is gonna be busy, so there will either be no update or an early one.
[x] Take a seat. Be civil. These two may be your first new friends in Gensokyo. Unless Cirno counts.
-[x] No, she'll escape!
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For some reason this update turned out to be nearly impossible to write, and the quality's even lower than before. Many apologies, Anon.

[x] Take a seat. Be civil. These two may be your first new friends in Gensokyo. Unless Cirno counts.

"I don't believe I introduced myself when we met. My name is Alice Margatroid."

"Patchouli Knowledge." The purple one introduces herself as well, but otherwise pays neither you nor the conversation any mind.

"Very beautiful names, both of you. But why do you want to talk to a Gensokyo newcomer like me?"

"I have a request for you. Patchouli and I have been doing some magical research, but we need certain...resources before we can continue. I want you to retrieve these items from the manor in the bamboo forest." She hands you some paper with some sketches. A stick with different colored berries, some ugly looking seashell, and three other things.

"We've asked numerous times to no avail. Normally we would simply move on to something else, but with the project as far along as it is..."

"I understand. And what will my reward be?"

"Right, a reward. I'll do my best to keep Marisa and Reimu away from you. I'll also let you have the finished product." This elicits a cough from Patchouli. It sounds much too serious to be fake, however.

"I don't believe that's something you can decide for yourself, Alice. Your first offer should suffice, in any case."

"I just want to make sure he's properly compensated. So why don't you offer something as well?" Patchouli's face shows a small bit of bitterness toward her colleague. Alice on the other hand gives a small smirk, as if she knows that it's her victory.

"...Very well." Another cough. Is she going to be okay? "I will ask Remilia to allow you to stay here, as I am sure you require lodgings. However, I cannot guarantee that it will have no cost, nor that she will even comply. Is that acceptable?"

"If I find myself in the bamboo forest, I'll look into it." You continue your habit of never outright agreeing to requests. You never know when one will be completely impossible.

"Good! I'm glad we could come to terms." Alice reaches over and shakes your hand. "And thank you for not breaking into my home on the way here. It would've made all of this harder on me." Hold on, what?

"How do you kn--"

"Now hurry up. You're supposed to talk to Remilia aren't you? She won't want to be kept waiting." She shoos you out of the library, not once giving you a chance to finish your question. Once you're through the doors, Alice waves and shuts them. Either her home has exceptional security, or she's been watching you for a while now. This is someone you should be careful around. Much like that maid, who is standing right behind you and looking much more tired than before.

"I hope everything went well. Now, if you'll come with me." You follow Sakuya back down the hall to the foyer, then up the stairs and down another three halls. You're almost certain this place wasn't this large when you were outside. But that's something to ponder later; you've arrived at the fanciest doors in the house. Sakuya pushes them open, and you enter the most elegant red master bedroom you've ever seen. You don't get to take in much of it before Patchouli walks by (how'd she get here so fast?) and the sound of childish nobility interrupts your thoughts.

"Welcome to the bedchamber of the great Remilia Scarlet! I trust you've enjoyed what little you've seen of my home."

"I thought the excess of red was little tacky, actually." Remilia only lets the annoyance show for a split second, but it still makes you smirk.

"Says one so unrefined as to enter another's home through brute force. And yet Patch says to give you a guest room! It's absurd really. But I suppose I could give you a chance. Convince me that you and your ruffian comrade are worthy of being housed in my fine mansion, or I'll have you removed from the grounds and sent to the shrine maiden. I don't care how you do it; you can challenge one of us to a battle for all I care. Simply keep me entertained, and I'll consider letting you stay."

[] Well if all she wants is a show... (Challenge someone(Rumia and Cirno included))
[] Fuck this. Maybe someone else can give you a room.
[] You won't be manipulated so easily! CHARISMA DUEL.
[X] You won't be manipulated so easily! CHARISMA DUEL.
Based off of what we've seen so far, I'm pretty sure that we could handle a charisma duel with Remilia. Pretty sure. About 83% sure, to be exact.
[X] You won't be manipulated so easily! CHARISMA DUEL.

This is going to go so horribly, horribly wrong. And it will be glorious.
[X] You won't be manipulated so easily! CHARISMA DUEL.

If we are to fail, then it will be an epic one.
[x] Well if all she wants is a show...you'll just have to do "that."

Vague enough to be interpreted various ways. It's perfect.
[x] You won't be manipulated so easily! CHARISMA DUEL.

Win or lose, I think this gives us the best chance of entertaining Remilia.

I'm amused to think that Alice is probably enjoying Marisa's mugging and subsequent frantic search for the thief.
[x] You won't be manipulated so easily! CHARISMA DUEL.
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This is double the amount of votes I'm used to. What happened?

This made me much happier than it should have.

[x] You won't be manipulated so easily! CHARISMA DUEL.

Just who does this brat think she is? "Keep me entertained" she says. As if she expects me to blindly follow orders like some dog. And she's so smug about it! Well you'll show her. Just because she has such ludicrous amounts of charisma she thinks she's above everyone. She probably doesn't even know how to use it properly. You'll have to test her.

The two of you lock eyes. The look you're giving her tells her everything she needs to know about your intentions, and her eyes respond in kind. The sacred rules set in place for all of eternity, of a battle fought only with words and wit, have been called forth at this very moment. Neither she nor you can back out now.


Young Crimson Nobility
Remilia Scarlet

"I'm afraid I can't 'entertain you' as you asked." Luckily for you, the noblewoman types usually have the same weaknesses. Hopefully she won't be the exception, or you'll be in trouble.

"Oh? Is it that arduous a task?"

"Not at all. I'm just not sure if you should keep the maid around for it."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Bingo. And to think you were worried for a second.

"I don't want to be rude to my hosts. And I'm not sure how much Sakuya would enjoy standing to the side while you and I have our fun."

"Why n-not? Surely she could join." She seems to realize what she's said all too late. Her struggling is actually rather cute.

"Er, what I meant was--"

"My my, Lady Remilia. I'd never have pegged you as one to enjoy such things."

"W-wh-but I..." Aww, she's all red in the face and everything. But you've gone this far already. There's no way to end this without a bit of overkill. You begin to slowly remove your coat.

"But if that's how you want, I'll have to comply, won't I?"


"I will not allow such vulgar activities in my home!!" You can't help but smile after such an easy victory. But before you celebrate...

"What do you mean 'vulgar'? I simply wanted to dance. I was really surprised to hear that you liked three person dances, Miss." Oh boy, her face matches the walls of this place now. And that stupefied look, absolutely priceless. "Now then, about my room?"

"....Sakuya. Please prepare a room for our guest. As far from me as possible."

"Of course, Mistress." Even Sakuya couldn't help but laugh at easily you trounced the little bloodsucker.


She gave you a pretty nice room. Decently sized, its own bathroom, more fancy paintings. The bed even came with a free sleeping scuffed-up Rumia. You would've gone to tease thank Remilia, but you had to plan out your first evening here. And now it's time to put it into action.

[] This place isn't going to rob itself.
[] Gotta map out this weird bigger-inside-than-outside building.
[] This can wait until later. Hit the sack.
-[] Floor
-[] Bed
[] Rape the maids
[O] Have some 'fun' with Rumia.

Yeah no. I perfer not to be stabbed by pure darkness.

[C] Spoiler option

Hahaha NO.

[X] This place isn't going to rob itself.
-[X] But first you gotta map out this weird bigger-inside-than-outside building.
--[X] Though these can wait until later. Hit the sack.
----[X] Bed
[x] Tease the Rumia
[x] Gotta map out this weird bigger-inside-than-outside building.
[x] This can wait until later. Hit the sack.
-[x] Bed

I'd save anything we want to steal from the SDM for last, since we now have it to use as a safe haven of sorts.
But yeah, that wasn't really charisma duel so much as a charisma curbstomp. Doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it though.
And now, my vote:
[X]This can wait until later. Hit the sack.
--[X]But grab a pillow from the bed first so you don't hurt your neck.
[x] This can wait until later. Hit the sack.
-[x] Bed
[x] This can wait until later. Hit the sack.
-[x] Bed

Completely platonic, of course. It would be a bad idea for partners to sleep together sexually.
Unless we decide at some point to stay permanently, it would be a bad idea to play with Rumia's feelings in any way. Then again, Rumia may have her own ideas...

Which reminds me - we need to let Cirno out at some point. Maybe when Rumia wakes up.
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[x] This can wait until later. Hit the sack.
-[x] Bed

First on the list: sleep. A lot has happened today, more than enough to dissuade you from doing anything else. You've got all the time in the world anyway, so there's no need to rush things. You'll just slip in the bed here and you sort of forgot about Rumia there. You mull it about in your head a little bit before you get distracted by how comfortable the bed is and fall asleep.

You wake up some unknown amount of time later with some instant discoveries. Firstly, your movement is greatly restricted. Secondly, there's a weight on your body not unlike a human's. Finally, your arm is both wet and numb. The liquid also seems to be pretty warm. There are only two possible explanations for this. Either you're being attacked by a squid or similarly tentacled creature, or Rumia never got that meal she was hoping for.

"Rumia, darling. I appreciate all the attention but you're staining our kind host's bed." You knock on her thick skull a bit with your free hand for emphasis. It seems to do the job.

"Eh... they can deal with it." She lets your arm drop out of her mouth, thankfully enough. She got a lot of the muscle and even a few tendons. Looks like you've got a useless lump for a right arm for a few hours.

"Hey, sorry and all. But I told you before we even got here that I was hungry. Still am, actually. In fact, I think I'll finish my meal." Some higher god must be watching you, because Sakuya opens the door just as Rumia starts to go for your arm.

"Pardon the intrusion, but breakfa-ahh." It suddenly occurs to you that Rumia's legs are hooked around your waist in a very suggestive fashion. "I'm almost certain that Lady Remilia forbade this."

"If that were the case, then this would be one seriously botched attempt at foreplay. Anyway, you came to call us for breakfast, right? Please lead this ravenous beast to it. I'll find my way there shortly."

"Of course. Miss Rumia, was it? If you would follow me."

Rumia glares at you for that comment about her hunger, but hops off of you all the same. The two leave the room to you and some bandages next to the bed that just appeared there. You carefully apply them so as to not spill blood everywhere, especially into your coat. Which reminds you, that little ice fairy has been trapped in there all day. You go over to the rack you placed your coat on and reach inside. You fumble around from cold spot to cold spot until you touch something with a fleshy texture. A quick pull and out comes one fairy, along with your mobile AC.

"What's the big idea, stuffing me in there! I oughtta turn you into an icicle!" She's upset almost to the point of tears, and it makes her look so cute that you honestly feel bad. You softly pat her head in an attempt to cheer her up.

"Sorry about that, little fairy. I'll make it up to you though. I know, how about you join me on my adventures? Outside of the coat, this time." She looks excited at the offer before apparently remember she's supposed to be angry.

"I-I guess so. I can't really be the strongest if I don't help the weak!" She's certainly feeling better. Such childish innocence and vigor! It puts a small smile on your face. This turned into an okay morning after all.

[] Go get some food.
[] Start mapping out this place.
[] Go back to sleep.
[x] Start mapping out this place.

I would think that Rumia would not wantonly eat everything, after being unsealed. Oh well, it seems our MC has some sort of healing prowess as he thinks he'll be right as rain in a few hours. I guess it'll work out in the end.
[x] Go get some food.
-[x]Get any useful information out of the fairy on the way.

We need a few hours to heal up, and a hot meal will help with that. More than enough time to map out things after.

I can only wonder what Remilia and Flandre will think once they can smell blood on us and find we aren't particularly distraught.
[x] Go back to sleep.

Sleep always good.
Three votes, all different. Guess it'll be another nighttime update today.

You're right. But what if she was dreaming about catching some foolish human out in the forest and her body moved on its own, only to wake up, she what she did, then think "Fuck it" and continue? She did really want some food, so it's only logical (to me, anyway) that she dream of catching some.

Also, youkai in this story heal fairly quickly. Our dashing rogue recovered from Rumia's half-hour beating in only another half-hour.

Yes, what would they think? Or do, even.

There's at least one situation where it's not.
[x] Go get some food.

Going to meet up with a vampire while bleeding? Sign me up.
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This should not have taken as long as it did to write. How shameful of me.

[x] Go get some food.

"Come on, let's get some eats." Your suggestion is met with a small cheer. It's when you finally step out of the room that you remember that you have no idea where anything is in this place. It takes a solid ten minutes of wandering aimlessly through variable-length halls, asking confused fairies for directions, and getting lost because all of the directions were completely wrong somehow, but you and your little fairy make it to the dining room. You're almost immediately shown to your seats by Sakuya. You expect Remilia to greet you, maybe even introduce this new blond girl that keeps staring you down, but it's greatly delayed and sounds incredibly forced when it comes.

"G-g-good morning. I trust you had a pleasant rest? No, erm, incidents or anything?" Her stare is similar to the other girl's, but less intense. And she keeps furrowing her nose as if there's some scent she's trying to ignore oh right vampire. So that other girl must be one too.

"Yes, I slept well. No problems to speak of." You look over to Rumia as you say this, but she's too busy devouring her third plate of food to notice. "So, who's the blond young lady there?"

"Eh? Oh! How rude of us! This is my younger sister, Flandre. Flan, this is the nice young man I told you about."

"..." She doesn't say anything, keeping her eyes locked on you with the same piercing glare. Instead, she gets out of her seat and walks over to you. She sniffs you some, finding her way to your currently unusable arm. You watch her pull it out of your coat's sleeve and lick at a spot where the blood seeped through the bandages. It would be cute if your arm were in better shape and you weren't Scanning this girl right now holy fucking shit that ability is completely absurd what is with the people in this mansion.

"His doesn't taste as good as Sakuya's, Sis."

"Flan... That's because he's a youkai. And not even a particularly strong one, from what I could tell." She directs that smug look of hers at you again.

"Aaahhh. Thanks for the food!" Rumia with the class A interruption. "Alright. Let's go challenge that China girl, Cirno!" The ice fairy in question, with a little food on her face, is caught unawares.

"Eh? Now? But I'm not done... And when did you get so big, anyway?"

"I was always this big. Now come on!" Cirno's dragged out of her chair and out of the room. You'd been calmly eating the whole time, but no more. This is just too silly.

"Right. I think I'll take my leave as well. Thank you for the meal." As you get up to leave, a certain jingly-winged someone that never left tugs at your arm.

"Umm, would you play with me later?" This behavior is much better than her sister's. Maybe Remilia should be taking notes. This is how you get someone to like you!

"Sure, if I don't end up trapped somewhere all day."

"Yay! My room's in the basement so just come by whenever. Good night!" She runs over and gives Remilia a peck on the cheek before leaving the room altogether. You leave as well and find a roll of clean bandages near the door. Finding the nearest bathroom is made more of a chore than necessary thanks to these utterly incompetent maids, but you make it there and replace the bandages. You'll have to thank Sakuya next time you see her.

Now, with all of those early morning antics out of the way, let's get down to business.

[] Make that map already. With one arm?
[] Find Rumia. It might be a good fight.
[] Go talk to <someone>
[] Get out and explore Gensokyo!
[] Write-in
[x] Find Rumia. It might be a good fight.

Zombie vote.
[x]Case the joint

Y'know, for a story centered around burglary, we have done entirely too little thieving. Now that we have a absolutely perfect excuse, thanks to Flandre, we should start some preparations.
[X] Find Rumia. It might be a good fight.

So, we agreed to playing with Flandre...

How do we get out of this one?
[x] Find Rumia. It might be a good fight.


Only one arm. Better to save that for later.
[x] Find Rumia. It might be a good fight.

We missed out on her first fight, let's not miss this one.

Flandre will definitely require caution and delicacy on our part since we now know her ability. Maybe we can turn Flandre into an ally?

It would be hilarious to befriend Flandre and stupify Remilia in the process if that happens. I'm sure Remilia is hoping Flandre roughs us up at the least.
[x] Find Rumia. It might be a good fight.
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[x] Find Rumia. It might be a good fight.

Then again, it's not every day that Rumia gets to battle someone twice. Especially not someone that actually manages to get a few good hits in. As much as you really should get to work, this isn't something you should pass on. You find a container to place the old bandages in, then stuff that in your coat. "A little insurance," you explain to no one in particular.

How fortunate that you've been sent wandering around this place so much! You've managed to memorize when and where to turn to get a few places. The hallways are all still different lengths, but you make it to the front door without trouble. Outside, you see the fairies flying around, tending to the garden. Cirno's sitting with a group of them near the gate, probably telling them something about the being the "strongest." On the other side of the gate are the two people you came to find. Along with a very obvious magical barrier separate from the mansion's, and the two of them zooming around inside of it with a few rainbows' worth of magic bullets and lasers. What the hell?

You walk closer and sit next to the fairies, who all inch closer to Cirno. "Cirno, mind explaining what's going on here?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" She looks at you confusedly, as if you asked what a fish was. "It's danmaku of course! Don't you even know that?" This little ice fairy's certainly sure of herself.

"Can't say that I do."

"It's this really fun game that Reimu made. Everyone in Gensokyo plays it. I'm the best at it, of course!" Yeah, sure. You just nod and start watching the fight. You obviously missed a good amount of it; both Rumia and Meiling are looking pretty beat up, yet full of energy. Rumia's using her usual standby strategy of "swing at it until it stops moving" and rarely hitting. Each attack is either dodged, blocked, or knocked away.

"Dammit China! Stop doing nothing and actually fight!" Rumia pulls back her fist after the shout, it becoming large, black, and crystalline. At the same time, Meiling pulls out a card and says something you can't quite make out. It causes Rumia's eyes to widen somewhat. You suddenly notice a lot of magical energy around Meiling, centered around her hands. She cuts off Rumia's attack with a sudden palm thrust, stunning her. She follows up with a shoulder charge, and a final punch that sends Rumia flying some distance into the air. Presumably that ended the match, as the barrier around them and the stored up magic inside of it has faded away.

"That was a fun match, Miss Rumia. But please don't call me China." She adjust her hat as Rumia casually floats back down.

"Ugh, damn. That's a loss and a draw now." She looks over at you and flinches a bit. "Tch, you. So what'd you think of it? This was probably your first time seeing a danmaku duel." What do you think of it?

"It was confusing yet it made sense. It appears to be a simple game, while also being a very complex battle. I'm saying I don't understand it, my dear."

"Of course you don't. I don't think anyone except that shrine maiden did at first." Meiling comes over and leans against the gate. She continues with her back to you. "I could show you how the system works. Maybe help you make a spellcard or two."

"Yeah, or he, Cirno and I could go...do something productive." You're certain she almost said 'steal something like we're supposed to be doing.' "But hey, his choice."

If this is some kind of local sport like Cirno says, it may pay off to learn about it. Then again, you're a thief treasure hunter. What use have you of direct confrontation? You're not even that good at magic, and this looks like a relatively magic-intensive game.

Learn to danmaku?
[] Sure, why not.
-[] (Make up a spellcard if you want. I'll think of some myself if no one does.)
[] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[] Like that shop Rumia mentioned.
-[] Alice deserves a visit, doesn't she?
-[] You wonder if Remilia keeps her valuables in wooden chests.
-[] Time for that playdate with Flandre.

You can learn danmaku at any point in the future, if you refuse. It also has no direct influence on situation difficulty.

I would suggest getting trapped somewhere all day.

I know, it's even in the title. MC's arm will be fixed next update though. At what point depends on whatever vote wins.
[x] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[x] You wonder if Remilia keeps her valuables in wooden chests.

We've been here entirely too long.
[x] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[x] Alice deserves a visit, doesn't she?
[x] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[x] You wonder if Remilia keeps her valuables in wooden chests.
[X] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[X] Time for that playdate with Flandre.

Should we actually plan to steal rare items we'll need to know where they're kept or at least confirm if they even have any at all. As searching around other people's homes tends to be rather suspicious. (Unless you have an excuse of some kind.)
[+] Sure, why not.

He has to have one with the word 'Yoink' involved somewhere. It only seems appropriate.
[x] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[x] You wonder if Remilia keeps her valuables in wooden chests.
[X] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[X] Time for that playdate with Flandre.

Don't want to disappoint Flandre if we ever plan to come back here.

Good chance Remilia has some good stuff down there even if she forgot about it.
[X] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[X] Time for that playdate with Flandre.

A good way to quietly check out more of the SDM while keeping our promise with Flandre. Can't hurt to locate any possible treasures here.

I still think we should leave anything we find in the SDM for stealing last, especially since Patchy is apparently aware of what we are doing here. Maybe we could even talk a bit with her to see if she's willing to help better the odds of us stealing what she wanted by giving us additional intel.
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[x] Nah. Places to rob, people to mug.
-[x] You wonder if Remilia keeps her valuables in wooden chests.
-[X] Time for that playdate with Flandre.
(They're tied so why not?)

"I think I'll pass on that for now, Meiling." She nods and you turn around, noting that Cirno and her group of fairies are gone. Fairies, being the mischievous sort, could cause all kinds of havoc to this wonderful large garden.

"But you may want to warn the gardener about my friend, since I don't know-" You don't get to finish. Meiling flips over the gate with finely honed finesse. As soon as she lands, she begins to sprint into the flowers. She must really not want to inconvenience that gardener. She really is a kind woman.

"So what's the plan, chief?" Rumia's hovering next to you, looking as ready as ever for some action.

"I have a prior engagement with Remilia's little sister. But before that, we should see what this place has to offer." Her grin is enormous.

"It's about time. Come on, I found somewhere suspicious on my way to breakfast." She leads you through the house to one of the few halls you managed to avoid in your exploration. There's not much different from the rest of the mansion, besides the armed guards surrounding a door. A foolishly obvious treasure flag. And Rumia's grin not only persisted through the trip, but even got more predatory. You normally plan these things out, but letting her have her fun is fine now and then.

"I see you already have something planned. Go ahead then, surprise me." That's all the convincing she needs. She dissolves into a small shadow on the ground and makes her way toward the nearest guard, merging with her(?) own shadow. The guard then gets a surprise attack on her partner. They're both yelling at each other with confusion, one attacking relentlessly and the other defending for her life. The odd battle starts moving down the hall, attracting a growing crowd of maids. With no attention on yourself, you pick the lock easily and slip inside.

It's a small room. Very dark, but there's apparently nothing inside. Except for a large wooden chest on the far wall. There's no lock on it, no barrier, no enchantments, nothing. Looks like all the makings of a trap. But hey, you're here, might as well see what they planted. You pop it open and discover a crudely drawn picture of Remilia and Flandre.

"Like it? The Young Mistress made it some time ago." Opening the chest must have alerted Sakuya or something. Stupid useless ability, doesn't even work on simple technology.

"It's cute. Speaking of little Flandre, could you show me to her room?" She nods and grabs your hand, then suddenly you're in front of a heavy looking door and feeling a bit dizzy.

"I hope you'll forgive me, but I have a bit of a mess to resolve. And try to avoid places you're clearly not allowed into in the future." And she's gone again, likely to deal with Rumia's 'subtle' distraction.

The door's not as heavy as it looks, and swings open with only a light shove. The stairs down are well lit, and open into a small empty area with another, heavier looking door. You knock and announce yourself. You hear a bunch of soft footfalls before the door is opened, revealing a small, beaming, pajama-clad vampire.

"You're here! Inside, inside!" She pulls you into her room with strength you couldn't hope to match and shuts the door. There are a lot of broken toys scattered around, some old books, various other things you'd expect a young girl to have in her room. Not bad for a basement.

"So, what'll we be playing today?" Flandre pulls out a card similar to the one Meiling had earlier.

"A game of danmaku! You look like you'd be good at it!" She seems really excited to play. A shame you can't.

"Sorry, but I don't know how to. Is there another game you want to play?" She thinks for a bit, appears to get a great idea, then shakes her head.

"There was a game I used to play, but Sis said I can't anymore." From that face she made, it was something pretty enjoyable to her. Of course, you have no idea what she enjoys, so the thing you say next is probably a bad idea.

"Remilia's not here, though. It should be fine to play whatever it is." Her smile returns, but is creepier than last time.

"You're right, she can't be mad if she doesn't know." Suddenly there's an oddly shaped rod in her hands, which she brings down in front of you. You barely have enough time to dodge and Scan the thing and oh great it has the ability to raze the earth. The girl that can destroy anything was a weapon that can destroy everything. Fucking perfect.

"Sis says you're not strong, but you look like you are. Won't you play with me a while so I can know for myself?" A nice compliment, given at the entirely wrong time. Your right palm hits your face, for what is certainly the first of many times during your stay here. Oh hey, it's better now. A small blessing in the face of a fight you probably can't win. But the lady asked a question, and it's only fair to give an answer.

[] "Sorry, maybe later." Get the hell out of there.
[] "Okay, let's play then." Draw your <weapon>.
[] "Only if I get that rod of yours, should I win." Draw your <weapon>.

Equippable items in possession: sword, shield, flute that is apparently a sword, lockpick, used bandages, weird machine, stiletto.
Do we have any idea how to play said flute?

If yes:
[x] "Sorry, maybe later."
-[x] "Do you like music?"
--[x] Play the flute.

If no:
[x] "Sorry, maybe later." Get the hell out of there.

First fight going into Gensokyo being Flandre does not seem like a good idea.
[x] "Only if I get that rod of yours, should I win." Draw your magnificent egoyour bandages.

Our bandages are bloody and smelly. Flandre will be completely entranced, and easy to beat. A genius plan, if I do say so.
I like it.

[x] "Sorry, maybe later."
-[x] "Do you like music?"
--[x] Play the flute.
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>flute that is apparently a sword.
That sounds awfully familiar.
[X] "Okay, let's play then." Draw your flute.
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Why, who is that dashing young Jedi? That hat of his is absolutely viewtiful.

[x] "Sorry, maybe later."
-[x] "Do you like music?"
--[x] Play the flute.

"While I love the thrill of a battle to the death, I must respectfully decline." You give a short bow of apology to Flandre's disappointed face. The fire in her eyes was gone as suddenly as it appeared.

"Aww, why not? I wasn't going to try to kill you or anything." A little late for that, what with that first strike of hers.

"I'll make it up to you. How about a song or two?" You whip out the flute with a flourish and bring it to your mouth. Flan doesn't seem too pleased, but she considers the offer.

"Alllriiight. But! If I don't like it, you'll have to do what I say. Now go one, surprise me with something." She sits on the bed, clearly somewhat upset, and waits on you.

"As you wish, mon cher." She's awfully rude and unladylike when she's pouty. And you yourself feel more, say, fabulous while holding this flute. Ignoring the fact that you haven't touched any kind of instrument in years, you should be able to play something. Something nice and soothing, like a river. Perhaps even an autumn waterfall scene. Little fairies splashing about in the water, startling the fish. Thirsty animals at the riverbank taking a refreshing sip. A gentle breeze spreading about the fallen leaves. Nothing but the sounds of nature and her little sprites all around. Yeah, something like that.

You open your eyes. Flandre's fallen asleep on the bed. You must've played one mean lullaby. A shame you were too spaced out to hear it yourself. You stuff the flute back into your coat, making you feel...less elegant? What a weird instrument. That aside, your reawakened kleptomania is bugging you. But what to take? Ah, of course! Flandre left her death wand on the ground. You'll just store that for later 'inspection' and be on your merry way. Right after you read whatever bullshit note Yukari's planted on this door.

"Lulling a young girl to sleep, then stealing a prized possession from her in her own home?
You're not even going to have your way with her, even though the result would be the same?
The most valuable treasure in the World is a maiden's heart, you know.
But I'll leave this one to you, Captain.

P.S. Try using magic~"

Absolute nonsense. You crush the paper and toss it aside, then make your way to the main floor. Rumia's waiting for you, with a Cirno-shaped headdress.

"Look, I know this place is just so great, but don't you think we should try to, I don't know, actually do the thing you came here to do? Unless you wanted[ to spend all your time with maids and little girls. If so, carry on. I'll do my own thing."

"'We', Rumia, 'we'! The strongest fairy and the strongest youkai together will be unbeatable!"

"Right, right! We'll go across Gensokyo and conquer everyone and everything, even that crazy shrine maiden! Maybe we'll start with this mansion, give that gatekeeper and maid what-for!" That sounds like a terrible idea. A single youkai and a fairy? Even she knows it'd be impossible. So why are you so certain she'll do it?

"Alright, I get it. Where do you want to go?"

"Someplace you haven't been. That shop, the village, anywhere."

"Why do you suddenly want me to leave so badly, anyway?"

"A feeling. A 'Cirno is chilly' kind of feeling."

"Chili? But I'm not tasty. I think."

The two argue over semantics and food. You've got plenty of places you could go, though your partner is being rather foreboding about the mansion. And what was with Yukari's note? Stupid thing makes your head hurt.

[] Give in to Rumia and leave. (To where?)
[] Stay here, do something (what?)
[] Go and claim the might Excalibur!
[] Obligatory write-in option

There may or may not be an update tomorrow.
[x] Give in to Rumia and leave. (To Kourindou!)

Rinnosuke has all sorts of cool shit.
[x] Stay here, loot the place

There is no way in fuck we are leaving without a million trinkets. We put up with this mansions shit for far too long to do anything less.
Your hubris will doom us all!
[x] Give in to Rumia and leave. [Village]
Ugh, not liking the spot we're in. Really don't think we'll get away with stealing Flandre's wand, but what's done is done. I would consider handing the wand over to Remilia so we can safely return here later after stealing what Patchy and Alice wanted. Maybe even explain (briefly) what we're doing in Gensokyo. We're still flying without much intel, and I could see Remilia helping us steal everyone else blind. After all, she DID want to be entertained...

We also really shouldn't ignore Yukari's note and leave it around like we did. We don't like her, but ignoring her completely is silly.

I'm at a loss to write out any sort of awesome write-in. Maybe get Sakuya or Meiling to return the wand while we head out?
[X] Go and claim the might Excalibur!
I have absolutely no idea of how we go about doing this. But we're definitely gonna need a better sword eventually. Plus, if we do find it, we can get it tied onto our useless arm and have a sword arm.
One vote for everything and a request for a write-in. I won't start writing for another few hours, as always.

Arm's already better, bro.

There's all kinds of ways to get away with stealing something, but you can return it if you want. As for Yukari's note, it wasn't so much ignored as committed to memory to think about when there's time to.

I approve of this logic.
Meh, no awesome write-in came to mind. Probably late, but here's my vote anyhow.

[x] Give in to Rumia and leave. [To Kourindou]
-[x] Drop off the wand with Sakuya or Meiling on the way out and ask they return it to Flandre.

Still think we'll need the SDM as a bolthole at some point, may as well play nice-nice with them until we're truly ready to steal them blind and run for good.
[X] Go and claim the mighty Excalibur!
-[X] Return Flandre's death stick wand.

If we're going to rob our hosts we really should save them for right before we go to make our great escape.
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[X] Go and claim the mighty Excalibur!

You consider your presented options, but none of them seem all that great. You can feel something tug at your mind, clawing away for your undivided attention. Yukari's obfuscated note, the artifact you just recently stole, your little party here, this whole damn situation is bugging you. And in your experience, there's only one reliable way to get rid of unexplained stress.

"Ladies, hush for a moment. We have a mission." They stop their silly argument‒which had somehow changed subjects to species of fish‒and look at you questioningly.

"Due to recent events, we shall henceforth quest for the legendary holy sword, Excalibur!" Cirno has no idea what you're talking about, and Rumia just stares at you like you've lost your mind.

"That means we're not leaving, doesn't it. Fine, whatever."

"I shall. To the library, dear comrades!"

"Why would you want a sword with holes in it?" Most of the walk there is spent explaining to Cirno that the sword doesn't have any holes, and also answering her question. The latter goes directly over the poor girl's head, raising only more questions that become increasingly tiresome to answer. You do manage to find Patchouli before you give up, though.

"Good day. You wouldn't happen to have brought the items Alice and I requested, would you?"

"Sorry, no. I have an unrelated request for you, though."


"I'd like your help in locating the sword Excalibur."

"And for what reason do you ask me, and not Sakuya, Remilia, or anyone outside of the manor?"

"You seemed the most knowledgeable." She gives a small nod and a slight chuckle.

"Very well. There are two such items known as 'the holy sword Excalibur.' You may be happy to know that I am in possession of both, and that they are under this very library. I shall grant you one. Remember that I will not tolerate theft of my research materials. Understood?" You give a single half-hearted nod. Patchouli says something in a language you've never heard. A beautiful redheaded devilish woman comes running to Patchouli's side.

"My assistant will escort you. Please return quickly, if you can."

Your guide bows to you and leads the way past more bookcases than you care to remember, before reaching a wall that disappears once she touches it. Naturally, the act is followed by the sound of a door being blown open and a loud message.

"Yo, Patchy! I came for a few more books!" Sounds like Marisa. Not good. Her finding you may be lethal. Patchouli's assistant notices your sudden tenseness and decides to help. She picks Cirno off of Rumia's head and places her on the ground.

"Little fairy, I need you to help Miss Patchouli defend the library. If you're strong enough to, that is." Cirno just scoffs at the woman.

"Who do you think I am? Of course I'm strong enough, I'm the strongest!" Then she flies off at top speed toward the source of Marisa's outburst. Though now you're wondering why this woman sent her off to get beat up.

"Madam, just who are you?"

"I'm just a devil that works here. You can call me Koakuma. But we should get moving before the magician comes this way, shouldn't we?" She grabs both you and Rumia by the hand and pulls you into the uncovered passageway. Her hand isn't particularly warm, but it gives you a feeling that is excessively so. You can't quite place what it may be, and it only gets stronger as her hand grips yours. The feeling stays even after she lets go.

"Who the hell said you could just pull me around like that!?"

"I apologize. But look! We're already here." Indeed, ahead of you are two stone platforms. The left one has a sword standing in the center, shoved into the platform itself. The other has one suspended above it, still in its elaborately patterned scabbard. Neither can be Scanned due to a strong barrier around the two of them.

"Go ahead and pick one, and I'll remove the barriers on it. But only one!"

"Yeah yeah, we were there. We heard old Violet out there."

Take which one?
[] The one in the stone.
[] The one in the sheath.
[] Both.
[] The one with the wings.
[x] Take everything, Koakuma included.

Foolish Koakuma, everything in this world is ours! You have lead us right to the treasures completed undefended. What is to stop us from "coercing" you into lowering both barriers? Gahahaha.
[X] Take the wards

So Patchouli has Excalibur and Excalipoor.

Gilgamesh will be blasting his way through here eventually.
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Sooooo....does anyone feel slightly worried that Patchy was so willing to get rid of one of her "excalibur?"
Taking both is probably out, since there's a barrier up on each one, and I'm pretty certain we can't flimflam Koakuma into dropping both.

I'm betting the reason Patchy is willing to "part" with one of them is because it's unlikely we can remove the real one (sword in the stone and all that), and the other one is a fake or copy (i.e. Excalipur).

Kinda like if Patchy said, "Heads I win, Tails you lose." Just my guess, anyhow.
Oops, forgot my vote.
[x] Status
[x] The one in the sheath.
- [x] Joke with Koakuma about us not being a king.

Unless there's something in our history that makes us think we're a king or something, no sense in hurting ourselves trying to pull a sword from the stone. If the other sword is Excalipur or even a decent copy, it has its uses...

I'm curious how many treasures are showing up in our inventory, as well as our Rank.
Which is why we simply take both. If there is some hidden catch to this situation, we'll just sort it all out later, while organizing our loot. We can do that, y'know, it's why he put the option for taking both.

Koakuma isn't very strong. I'm absolutely positive we can strong-arm her into lowering both barriers.
[x] The one in the sheath.
No way in fuck that we can grab the one in the stone.

You're forgetting that we want to return here later (at least, I do) to turn over the items we steal from Eientei - the ones that Alice and Patchy want us to steal. I doubt Patchy will reward us for forcing Koakuma to do something. She's already made it clear we can have only one.

We want to get help and stuff from Patchy (and Alice, by proxy), we play nice-nice with them for now. We can steal her blind later when we leave (or try to leave) for good.

Besides, I'm almost certain we won't be able to take both even if we can get both barriers down. Why would she let us have one of them so easily otherwise?
I am now convinced their will be no swaying of opinions.

I couldn't care less about helping Patchy and Alice with their bitch fetch-quest, nor do I wish to return to the SDM. We don't need to make pleasantries with any of these losers, our only goal in Gensokyo is to take everything.

A good thief is careful which enemies they make - overt smash and grabs only get you so far. You have to play certain games, like it or not, if you want to be able to blame others for your thefts and remain "innocent". Smoke and mirrors, misdirection, all that sort of thing.

That said, as you've made clear, your opinion won't be swayed. That's fine with me.
[x] The one in the sheath.

I didn't realize this story was serious business.
That's certainly all true, except our MC wouldn't care to do all that. He has no need of placing the blame on others, nor making nice with them. He lives in a different world from theirs, and is only visiting strictly to steal shit. While greasing some palms might make it a smidgen easier, bluntly mugging everyone in sight will work just as well too. It's all good though, I respect where you are coming from.

Couple of thoughts.

One, we aren't here just to steal stuff, regardless of what Yukari said. She said that to trick us, we know she's up to something. After enduring her presence for centuries, we would have to know she usually has ulterior motives.

Two, we aren't going back home to our home, money, and treasures anytime soon, if ever. We already know we're likely losing everything we gathered in the other world. We came via Yukari Gapways, and with no way back other than her, we're stuck until she gets bored of us.

Which, based on our previous experience, took more than a millennium, I believe.

Anyhow. Just seeing what everyone thought while we wait for our next move.
I guess I'll go ahead and call it for [x] The one in the sheath. Update within the next 12 hours or so.

Neither did I. That said, I think I know now why some other writefags like seeing discussion in their threads.

Which reference is it? Final Fantasy? Soul Eater? Castlevania, even? Or is it a reference at all? It's a secret to everybody.

Your health is good, but your arm is still wrapped.
Marisa is somewhere outside of the passage. She is a dangerous person.
You are currently in the library's secret Excalibur Chamber. The entrance/exit is sealed.
You are currently based at the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
Party: Rumia, Cirno
Treasures acquired: 4
Rank: F Can you really accept such a small amount~?

I assumed they were referencing Final Fantasy initially, but then again, Excalibur gets referenced in lots of games.

I'm really hoping the scabbarded sword is the Lady of the Lake version, and not a copy. The scabbard alone will help us a LOT.
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I'm never giving a window for my next update again. Every time I do I end up doing something else for hours, if not days.

[x] The one in the sheath.

You point to the floating one on your right. Koakuma clicks her tongue, but takes down that side's barriers anyway.

"I'm surprised. I thought most people would go for the one in the stone."

"That's their loss, Koakuma."

Now that nothing's blocking your ability you confirm that the sheath is certainly Excalibur's. You don't really need it, being decently resilient even among youkai, but pseudo-immortality could never be a bad thing. And then there's the blade. You can barely contain your excitement as you walk over and remove it from its resting place. You place your hand on the grip and, with one quick motion, pull out the blindingly bright blade.

"Fuck! Give me some kinda warning next time!" You give an apology to Rumia who's shielding herself with thick black smoke. You sheathe the sword, checking it's abilities as you do. A sword that can destroy an army in one swipe, its sheath that will keep its owner forever healthy, they are both yours! Though you wouldn't mind testing out the sword. There's even a perfect training partner in the library proper.

"Alright, Rumia, Koakuma. Let's go swing this thing around."

"You're on the run from the witch and the shrine maiden, aren't you? Then I'd suggest against it. They'd find you instantly if you used its power."

"Reimu would, anyway. I'm already here." Koakuma turns around and your eyes dart ahead of her. Marisa's standing there, holding a lumpy sack attached to her broom, and another octagonal block pointed at you.

"What's with taking my hakkero, huh? D'you know what I had to do to get Kourin to make me another one? Give it back or I'll take it back!" The broom's thrown down while Marisa starts gathering energy. Time to use that iron defense you call a tongue.

"I'm not sure what you mean, nor who it is you're after, but I can assure you I had nothing to do with any of it. I'd love to assist you in locating whoever stole your items, however."

"Don't give me any of that bull! Those magic traces are all over you and your friend. But, lucky for you, I'm kind and generous. Unlike Reimu. So I'll let ya keep that one, but only if ya beat me in a duel!"

"What if I refuse?"

"Then I'll show my Master Spark to your back instead." Both Rumia and Koakuma cringe when she mentions that spark. It must be something fearsome indeed.

"But what if I said that I don't know the spell card rules?"

"Then I guess it'll be Old-fashioned Youkai Extermination Day today."

Why does everyone want to fight little old you? Sure, you're more than fond of items that aren't yours and don't have any qualms about making them yours, but this is just annoying. And then there's humans like this that think they can beat any youkai just because they have a little power. You almost want to get rid of her right now, but is that really the best option?

[] Time to see the power of Excalibur!
[] Let's try that flute again.
[] Grab Rumia for a combo attack.
[] Wouldn't that little devil make a good shield?
[] Don't you still have one of Yukari's portals?
[X] Time to see the power of Excalibur!

No such thing as overkill, ze!
[x] Don't you still have one of Yukari's portals?
[x] Time to see the power of Excalibur!

Time for Marisa to taste her own medicine with sheer firepower!
[x] Grab Rumia for a combo attack.

I'll be honest here. I'm only picking this option because it mentions Rumia.
[x] Wouldn't that little devil make a good shield?

If she really is "kind and generous," she will refuse to harm an innocent. It's a perfect escape plan.
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[x] Grab Rumia for a combo attack.

By which I mean "Throw Rumia at her as a distraction before making your own attack".
[x] Grab Rumia for a combo attack.
We have the Nasu-verse Excalibur and Avalon. Even the most powerful Master Spark cannot scratch Avalon and I'd bet on Excalibur being more powerful then any Spark.

[x] Time to see the power of Excalibur!
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[x] Time to see the power of Excalibur!
Looks like it's time for round two!
No update for a couple days due to road trip. Calling it for Noble Phantasms and writing though.
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Have a safe and fun trip Rafflesia!
Am I correct in assuming that the other sword was Caliburn/Caledfwlch?
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Thank you, it was indeed quite fun. And was it Caliburn? I wonder.

[x] Time to see the power of Excalibur!

If she so desperately wants to be the test dummy for your new toy, who are you to deny that wish? You'll give Marisa her duel and then some.

"Alright. I accept your challenge, young witch. And I'll be using my new sword, if you don't mind." The last bit was mostly a warning to Rumia. She takes the hint and covers her eyes. The action either goes unnoticed by Marisa or she ignores it, as her only response is a nod and an overconfident smirk. A large, square barrier forms afterward, exactly like the one from Rumia and Meiling's duel. A barrier you're thankful for; it prevents you from accidentally killing the girl. Knowing you can go all-out is more refreshing than you thought.

Loud and Annoying Magician
Marisa Kirisame

Marisa begins the fight by barreling towards you on her broom. You hop over it easily and draw Excalibur from its sheath as you land. The shining blade blinds you for a moment, during which a small explosion from behind blows you into the far wall of the little arena. Bouncing off the wall hurt much more, but the explosion caused you to drop the sword. You stand and face Marisa at the other end. She's standing on Excalibur as if it weren't there and holding a bunch of jars. She chucks one at you and you intercept it halfway with a toss of your stiletto, creating another small explosion like before.

"Small bombs? Really?"

"You were hiding something too, Mr. Hidden Knife." She tosses the rest at you all at once, then starts firing a thick stream of multicolored stars. Something like this won't be any challenge, not when you have to save a legendary sword from a little girl's disrespectful feet! You run forward, dodging the bombs as they explode behind you and knocking away the stars with the scabbard. You're finally close enough to knock her away and take back your sword. You succeed, but Marisa leaves a much larger bomb in her place. Newly reequipped, you hop far back just as the bomb goes off. The bright magic from the explosion steals your vision from you yet again.


Oh shit, it's that bad thing of hers that you know nothing about. You guard yourself with sword and scabbard and wait for the attack.

"SPARK!!" Through the disappearing dark spot in your vision comes a large beam of magical light. You brace yourself as the beam connects, only to feel no push, no resistance, nor anything at all. The beam just fades away as it approaches you, the scabbard glowing as if to claim responsibility. Even this weapon's container has untold power! Then the sword itself, if it can end a thousand men at once, should be able to finish this battle with one attack.

You leap up and toward the witch, blade held high above your head and shining more brightly than ever for all to see. She tries to adjust her aim and knock you out of the sky, but she's too late. You bring the sword down.


Okay, so this thing is dangerous. That slash tore through the parts of the mansion above‒even slicing through some clouds outside‒and everything ahead of you that wasn't Marisa, including the goddamned barrier. Rumia had to completely shield herself just from the light and the shockwave, and Koakuma was thrown to the side and knocked out by it.

"What the fuck was that!?" Speaking of your comrade… "Was that really Excalibur? Damn. Let me see it." She flies over and snatches the sword from you. Its glow had already faded some from the attack, but becomes darker just from Rumia's touch. The rest of the sword follows suit until it is nothing but a devilish corruption of its former self. Rumia can only look on with a look of glee.

"How about I hold on to this for a while? Eh, buddy?"

"No way in hell." You take back Excalibur, put it back in its sheath, and stuff it in the coat. "More importantly, let's bail before Sakuya gets here.

"At least you're finally doing that. I'll work on getting the sword later, then."

[] Alice is watching you, right? Wonder what she thought of that duel?
[] Shops have valuables, usually. Maybe you can get a special "discount".
[] Let's torment the humans, like in the old days.
[] May as well look for those things for Patchouli. You guess.

Choose your spoils, if any:
[] The other Excalibur
[] Marisa's belongings
[] Marisa's precious thing
[] And/or Koakuma's

Of course, taking nothing may be its own reward.
[X] Alice is watching you, right? Wonder what she thought of that duel?
[X] Shops have valuables, usually. Maybe you can get a special "discount".
[X] Let's torment the humans, like in the old days.
[X] May as well look for those things for Patchouli. You guess.

[X] Marisa's belongings

We can give the second Mini-Hakkero to Rumia.
[x] May as well look for those things for Patchouli. You guess.

[x] The other Excalibur
[x] Marisa's belongings
[x] Shops have valuables, usually. Maybe you can get a special "discount".
[x] Take nothing.
[x] Let's torment the humans, like in the old days.

[x] Take everything
Greed never hurt any professional thief, especially one with free reign of his surroundings.
[X] May as well look for those things for Patchouli. You guess.

[X] Koakuma's Precious Thing. Or just Koakuma.

If we're working for Patchouli, having her servant escort us just makes sense.
Did Rumia just corrupt Excalibur? Let me reiterate, did Rumia just corrupt the crystallization of all the hopes and dreams of Humanity, the strongest of all Holy Swords? Is Rumia the incarnation of all the Evils in the World? Suggestion, do not let Rumia get her hands on Excalibur for any length of time. With any hope, Avalon will purify Excalibur from the small amount of taint it has been in contact with, but we don't want to expose it more then absolutely necessary.

And there is no other Excalibur. The Sword in the Stone has to be Caliburn, the Sword that Chooses the King. We are not the Once and Future King, so Caliburn will not move an inch. That or it's Merodach or Gram.

[X] May as well look for those things for Patchouli. You guess.

[X] Koakuma's Precious Thing. Or just Koakuma.

Makes sense.
[+] May as well look for those things for Patchouli. You guess.
[+] Koakuma's Precious Thing. Or just Koakuma.
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This reasoning is full of logic and common sense. Make of that what you will.

"Evils of the World" is kinda like "Darkness of the World", right? But yes, Avalon did purify the sword.

[X] May as well look for those things for Patchouli. You guess.

[x] Marisa's belongings
[X] Koakuma's Precious Thing. Or just Koakuma.

Now would be a good time for that little quest Patchouli and Alice sent you on. Especially if you plan on staying in this place later after tearing through it like you did. But before that, looting. Marisa seems the type to stay stocked up on something. You'll just check that pouch in the apron like last time.

"I thought you said we were leaving." Rumia's getting impatient again. You can't really blame her, since the others could investigate at any time.

"We are. Just go get Cirno while I collect my prizes." She leaves with a annoyed shrug, becoming a moving shadow and slipping through the debris that used to be this chamber's entrance. Marisa's apron pocket has less than before. Just a few mushrooms, one more of those exploding bottles, and a doll she probably got from Alice. You only take the bottle and her hakkero, but you do flip the bird to the doll. You snag your stiletto on the way to check the demon.

The first thing you realize is that her dress has no pockets. It doesn't look like she has anything, but you check her clothes anyway. You find nothing of value or even any hidden pockets, but that warm feeling from before returns with a vengeance. You make a second realization that you never Scanned this lady. So you do so, learning that she's a succubus type. You withdraw your hands immediately, though this feeling begs you to let them wander Koakuma's body once more.

"You done yet?" Rumia's back. Cirno's hanging over her shoulder, out cold.

"Yes. Carry the demon here for me, would you? I'll take Cirno." She tosses the dozing fairy at you and you catch her directly with the coat. Then she stretches her arms to grab and shoulder Koakuma. The act surprises you; you hadn't seen her do that in a long time. The two of you fly out of the new exit just as the sounds of commotion become heard.

"So, where to?"

"Some bamboo forest. Do you know anything about it?" She scratches her head, thinking on it for a moment.

"I think it's at the edge of the forest, near the village. Sooo…" She points toward the mountain in the distance, then past the forest before settling on an area that seems a little brighter than the forest. "Around there. Why, though?"

"A request, and more possible loot." No arguments come up, so you take the lead to the bamboo.


"Three hours. We've been in this forest at least three fucking hours!!"

"At least they weren't all boring. Thanks again for the stories, Koakuma."

"You're welcome. But why did you take me along? You keep dodging the question."

"It's not important, I told you that already." Koakuma hugs you from behind, making sure to press her breasts against your back. Your heart rate skyrockets while something more physical prepares to do the same.

"But it's important to me. Won't you please say why?" The soft mounds are suddenly removed from your back, their owner slammed down by a fuming Rumia.

"Save it for when we find the damn rabbit mansion, you horny bitch."

"Lookin' for Eientei, huh? None of you look hurt to me."

Certainly, this girl is something new. Long white hair tied with charms and a simple outfit with some oddly stylish suspendered pants. An immortal human that can burn things on top of it all. Who knows how long this girl's lived? Rumia picks up the conversation before you get to ask, however.

"Why would we be going through this godforsaken forest if we were hurt? And who the hell are you, anyway?"

"Mokou. Don't know what a buncha youkai want with the place, but I can show you there if you need it." All three of you immediately and unanimously accept. Mokou merely shakes her head and starts walking. After a few minutes, she turns back toward your little party.

"So, why are a buncha youkai headed there?"

[] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.
[] Lie, she could hinder things.
[] Mug her. (After she's done guiding you, obviously.)
On the one hand, rabbits might be listening in.

On the other hand, it's Mokou. Helping some youkai on a quest to mug and ransack Kaguya's place should make her day.

[X] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.
[x] Lie, she could hinder things.

Our pile of deceit is full of only the comfiest, fluffiest lies~
[X] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.
[X] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.

A clever word play, Rafflesia. Clever wordplay. Rumia must not touch Excalibur.
[x] Mug her. (After she's done guiding you, obviously.)

Oh snap, son. Can we jack her pants off of her? Perhaps we can improve MC's style with those sweet leggings.

>[] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.

I don't know bout that. Isn't this a little meta? MC doesn't know about Mokou's feud with Eientei, and randomly telling a stranger you are about to mug the place you are being led to, by them, isn't very wise.
[+] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.

If she has a probably with it we have an Excalibur-shaped solution to it.
[x] Truth

Forgot to say, that Avalon move sounded like Arturia's attack in Unlimited Codes:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwXVGHirzkI (38 seconds)
>If she has a probably with it
Mother of god I am going to have to stop typing while half-asleep.
[X] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.
Lying to Mokou now will only come back to bite us in the ass later. And why the hell would we mug her in broad, open daylight?! Someone might see.
Having some trouble writing this thing. It'll be up soonish.

Mokou's trousers are always collectable. Always.
And I didn't mean it in a meta fashion. I made that option with "If she won't help, then Cirno's got a new friend." in mind.

So it is. What's that word when you think up something you didn't know already existed?

One might've said the same of mugging Marisa.
Marisa's a known thief though. That was karmic retribution.

Therefore, we're in the clear.
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[X] Tell the truth. Maybe she can help.

"It's not for business with the residents, if that's what you meant. Rather, it's with their possessions." Mokou gives you a curious look, but continues to lead you.

"What, you guys some kinda travelin' band of thieves or somethin'?"

"Something like that. Would you happen to know a way in that won't give us away?" Rumia grabs you by the collar, shutting you up a tad later than she would've liked.

"What the hell are you doing, giving away our plans like that!?"

"And to some chick you haven't known for five minutes. I could be working for 'em, y'know."

"You could. But you aren't."

"How'd you figure it out?" Said with more sarcasm and snark than you'd expect from a human, shit-eating grin to match.

"Oh come on, at least play along with it."

"That trick's older'n me. And I ain't exactly hidin' it either, but yeah, the head of the house 'n me? Lotta bad blood. The rabbits and that doctor are alright, though."

"So, will you help us?"

"Sure, don't see why not."


You're only a short distance from Eientei, laying out the plan. Koakuma will distract them by doing the sensible thing and asking for the items. While they're distracted with her, the rest of you will sneak in and search for the loot. Once it's found, Mokou will cover your escape with a bit of fire, which will also be the signal for Koakuma to get out of there. Of course, Rumia and Cirno will only be with you in case of confrontation. With no objections, you send the little devil to start the plan, while Mokou leads you around back to a small disconnected building.

"A shed?"

"S'got a tunnel inside. Found it a few years back." She opens the door, then kicks open a hidden one on the floor. The tunnel is small, so much so that you can barely move through it. Thankfully, the trip is short, with Mokou climbing up through an exit only a couple of minutes later. You're about to follow, when you hear muffled sounds of nearby conversation.

"Oh! Is it that time already? I'll go get the princess."

"Eh, uh, hold on! You ain't gotta hurry yourself for me. I can go get 'er myself…"

"Move your ass already!" While you were content with eavesdropping and letting Mokou handle it, Rumia would rather get the hell out of the much-too-small tunnel. Even if it meant shoving you out of the hole with enough force to knock down Mokou. The person she was talking with runs over to check on the two of you. It's a cute rabbit girl with an outfit more fitting some young lady from Outside. Learning her ability, you dodge her eyes and focus on her ears and lavender hair instead. She's quite pretty, with rabbit ears being sexualized Outside only adding to that. Then again, it could all just be left over frustration from dealing with Koakuma.

"Um, are you alright, sir?"

[] Silence her. No witnesses.
[] Attempt to use her to find the loot.
[] Leave this up to Mokou. The two seem to know each other.
[] Mug her.
[] Fuck this thievery shit. Moon bunny route is go.
[x] Attempt to use her to find the loot.

She's a rabbit. She's bound to be weak enough to bodily restrain. We can easily use her to lead us to the goods.

>"Oh! Is it that time already? I'll go get the princess."

Sweet! It sounds like Mokou and the Princess have a duel already set up. This will provide an awesome distraction for us.
[X] Leave this up to Mokou. The two seem to know each other.

>[] Fuck this thievery shit. Moon bunny route is go.
So tempting. So so tempting.
If it wins, I'll seriously do it.
[x] Fuck this thievery shit. Moon bunny route is go.
[X] Attempt to use her to find the loot.
-[X] The mug her.

We have a Ex-Rumia that isn't a psychotic monster and generally nice. Let's try that.
Really now? Huh.

It's almost a shame we have Ex-Rumia here but I'm liking the opportunity to see something with her.

In other news: I know there hasn't been mention of a name but will we find out what kind of youkai our "hero" is?
We have the ability to scan, and have been hounded by Yukari throughout the years. I would have thought it would be pretty obvious we are the man in blue and black; Rinnosuke.

Or I could be talking out of my ass. Either or.
[x] Leave this up to Mokou. The two seem to know each other.

Rinnosuke can only scan objects so that he knows the name of them and their function, while this guy can scan just about anything to learn about any magic that it may have.
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[x] Fuck this thievery shit. Moon bunny route is go.
[X] Leave this up to Mokou. The two seem to know each other.
Please, people. We can do both.

[x] Let's steal this Moon Bunny. Her heart, her love, her loyalty. All of her will belong to us.
[x] Then let's get what we came here for.

Thievery is in our blood. We can no more stop then we can stop breathing.
[x] Let's steal this Moon Bunny. Her heart, her love, her loyalty. All of her will belong to us.
[x] Then let's get what we came here for.

This is an acceptable compromise.
[x] Let's steal this Moon Bunny. Her heart, her love, her loyalty. All of her will belong to us.
[x] Then let's get what we came here for.
[x] Let's steal this Moon Bunny. Her heart, her love, her loyalty. All of her will belong to us.
[x] Then let's get what we came here for.

I can dig this

Maybe we're Rinnosuke's youkai-side parent. Long lost child sidequest go.
Wow, all this talk of youkai type and Rinnosuke.
Many points hit, none of them right.

When did /eientei/ get a theme song?

I...this...I'm not sure if I can do this properly. But goddamn, I'm gonna try! This useless, sexy bunny shall be useless no more!
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[x] Let's steal this Moon Bunny. Her heart, her love, her loyalty. All of her will belong to us.
[x] Then let's get what we came here for.

Oh dammit. This unfortunate little bunny has seen you, and can later identify you. You'll have to keep her mouth shut, but how? Give her to Rumia? No no, that might anger Mokou. And you can't just make her come with you. Or can you? She seems the type of girl that's easily swayed by matters of the heart. You haven't courted anyone for centuries, but it couldn't hurt to try wooing her. If all goes well, you may end up stealing more than objects on this little mission. Well, time to lay on the dairy.

"Am I 'alright'? No madam, I am not. I feel absolutely fantastic, and I have only your lovely visage to thank. Your beautiful face, your slender yet muscular legs and arms, your truly adorable ears and impeccable fashion! Why, I know nothing of you, have been in your presence nary a single minute, and I am already smitten. Please Miss, tell me the name of the one that has stolen my heart."

The cheese. Oh gods, the cheese. That was just awful. Not even your immeasurable charisma could've made that sound any good. Your companions can only groan, and you can't blame them at all. When did you get so bad at this? Ugh, you think you're going to be sick.

"Do…do you really mean that…?" What. That was too hammy to work on anyone! Except maybe someone with no pride or self-esteem or anything. And even then only the severe and pitiful cases. But her question came out as barely a whisper, with a clearly cynical tone. You seem to have dug a pretty serious hole here.

"No, of course you don't. They never mean it. It's just like that boundary woman said back then…" What the hell!" Yukari's even interfering in the past! Damn that woman! Complicating things, and even turning a young lady into the large cloud of depression you see before you. You won't stand for it!

"Madam, the words of scheming whores like Yukari Yakumo should be taken with a grain of salt, if taken at all. I shall prove her wrong this instant, and take you away from this place that has darkened your soul and saddened you so! Together, you, I, and my companions shall deck that terrible woman in her indecent jaw!"

Now nothing you say is making sense to you. But it seems to have worked; the bunny has cheered up considerably, giving a soft smile and a little giggle.

"Very well, brave sir. Please, whisk me away from my tortured life of mild chores and apprenticeship under the wisest sage of the Moon. It has been killing me so thoroughly, on the inside." She isn't even trying to hide the sarcasm. "Ah, you asked my name, didn't you? I'm Reisen Udongein Inaba, a pleasure to meet you." You introduce yourself as well.

"The pleasure's all mine. And good show. How much of what you said was true?"

"Miss Yakumo did speak with me once. Something about alternate realities and heartbreak. And I would like you to 'whisk me away'; I really need a vacation. What about your little hamfest?"

"You're definitely beautiful. And anything I said about Yukari is absolute truth. But we can't take you with us just yet. We're here for something." Mokou jumps back into the conversation.

"D'you know where Teruyo's treasures are? Y'know, them five things she's usually got with 'er when we fight?"

"Yep. I'll even get them for you, if you want."

"Sounds good. I'll go with ya. Kinda feel like sayin' hello, get me?" Reisen nods, and the two leave. Your elaborate plans have been blown, again. With nothing to do but wait, you turn to where Rumia was. All you find is a note.

"Took Cirno. Went back to the forest to play/hunt. Meet you at the mansion tonight. Stop doing stupid shit all the time."

That's as eloquent as you'll ever see her. You guess the hole is an alright place to wait.


Fire, crashing, explosions, danmaku. There's a huge ruckus in the house you just left. Koakuma managed to get out fine, and no one seems to know that Reisen is gone. No one, that is, except the little rabbit in front of you, arguing with her.

"Look Tewi, you and I both know I could use some time off."

"I do. But just how much time do you want?"

"Come on, Master will find my note soon! Can't you just keep quiet, as a parting gift?"

"No can do. You still owe me, and I plan to collect. Unless your friend here can put up something?"

[] You've got plenty of treasures, just give her one.
[] Attempt to reason with her.
[] Punch her in the face. And rob her, of course.

Also, pick somewhere to go.
And yes, there's a reason Eientei was so brazenly glossed over.
>[] Punch her in the face. And rob her, of course.
So tempting...if only it wasn't Tewi with her insane luck...

[x] Attempt to reason with her.
[x] Punch her in the face. And rob her, of course.
[x] The human village

I can do without the violence, but this bitch needs to get out of our way. We've got places to be, and shit to steal; we don't have the time to listen to her bullshit.

As an aside, do we have any knowledge of Gensokyo proper? Last I knew we were sorta just wandering aimlessly, until we heard of a place that sounded good to rob. Just don't want to meta him into certain situations, ya know.
>"Very well, brave sir. Please, whisk me away from my tortured life of mild chores and apprenticeship under the wisest sage of the Moon. It has been killing me so thoroughly, on the inside."
This was priceless.
Also, his plans didn't get 'Blown up' they actually worked better than he expected! I mean, he got all the treasures, without doing anything I might add, and Mokou and Reisen got to do what they wanted (Blowing shit up and leaving the fuck up respectively)

[x] You've got plenty of treasures, just give her one.
Discretion is the better part of valor.
[x] Human Market
We have treasures burning in our pockets, no?
[+] Attempt to reason with her.
-[+] A favor for a favor? Should be reasonable, of course.
[+] The human village

>[x] Human Market
>We have treasures burning in our pockets, no?
I hope you're not suggesting we sell our dear stolen purloined borrowed rescued treasures.
Or the even more egregious affront of giving them away. It's astonishing how many people are completely missing the point of this little cyoa.
If one of those fools tries giving Tewi either Excalibur or Avalon, I will *end* them.

[+] Attempt to reason with her.
-[+] A favor for a favor? Should be reasonable, of course.
[+] The human village

Seems logical, probably the best option.

Also, next on our list of treasures... Ea.
[x] You've got plenty of treasures, just give her one.

Friendship is the most important treasure of all.
No update for a while due to real life shit. Calling the vote for diplomacy.

The thief knows about the Hakurei Shrine, everything in the forest and lake, the village, Eientei, and Kourindou (sans name). And the mountain is in plain view, so there's that.

I hope you meant "We have pockets burning for more treasures". I really do.

HAHAHAHAHA oh man. That's great. Good luck with that. You'll need it~
Sorry for asking this, but what's Ea?

I believe they're referring to this guy here
Holyfuckingshit that thing is overpowered. We should save that one for later. At any rate, I wonder if we can steal a building? 'Cause if we can, then I'm game for stealing Kourindou. If not though, then just forget I said anything.

Oh don't worry so much about Ea. As long as we're careful and we have both Excalibur and Avalon (latter is far more important) it'll be alright. Not even that overpowered sword Ea can penetrate through Avalon.

Although I am curious, will Avalon still fully function even without it's connection to the original owner Saber/Arturia? It's said that while it remains in absolute pristine condition even after 1500 some odd years, it cannot function without Saber. Maybe it can to some extent, or it just needs a bit of a mana charge like I believe it did in the Nasu-verse.

Also who would wield Ea in this story? >>34384 If I go by that spoiler text then I'm guessing it's Yukari, considering that's her way of speaking through many CYOA's and fanon interpretation. Could be looking into too much though.

Also finally, if Yukari DOES wield Ea, are we vulnerable even with Avalon? She does manipulate borders and can possibly pass through many dimensions and realms. Avalon is actually the unreachable domain of the Fairies that Arturia dreamed for. If Yukari is strong enough to actually REACH it though, we could be in trouble.

Err forgot to add Avalon's function is to actually warp us into Avalon and completely shield us there, a dimension that's unreachable to anything (as far as we know).
Yeah, I think you might be overthinking this one. Though I am not the author, and dare not presume to possibly know what he has in store, I am confident when I say this isn't that sort of story. Take it a little easier.
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[x] Attempt to reason with her.
-[x] A favor for a favor? Should be reasonable, of course.
[x] The human village

In most other situations, you'd commend this little rabbit's shrewdness. But not now. You've got a crime scene to escape and she's the only thing in the way.

"Look, uh, Tewi was it? I'll take up the tab. Any reasonable offer you have at any point in the future I will accept, just as long as you let us leave in peace. Deal?" She looks up, rubbing her chin in thought as another part of Eientei bursts into flame.

"Eh, fine. Go on, get out of here you shady people I've never seen before." She casually trots back to the large burning estate. Reisen bows a few times to the smaller rabbit girl's back before you both fly well above the bamboo.

"I've never seen Tewi agree to something like that so quickly. How did you do it?"

"A girl like that, we're cut from the same cloth. Our lives revolve around deception and trickery. I guess it's what you'd call an unwritten code of honor."

"Sounds complicated, if not completely untrue. What do you need the Princess's Impossible Requests for anyway?"

"Nothing immediate. More importantly, I'm an old-fashioned youkai from Outside, and I feel like tormenting the humans in that village. Nothing serious, just relieving them of a few belongings."

"Alright, I'll show you around then. At least you're more manageable than Tewi…"


The village is very reminiscent of the old days. Traditional buildings, layout, lifestyles; the memories all come at once. If only the people here had more valuables besides local currency. Oh well, it'll help with approaching the local markets and turning the heads of the shopkeepers. What kind of things would a village like this produce, anyway?

"You look like you're done with your little detour, so let's go to the marketpl―kya!" You share her surprise at the sudden strong wind blasting you both in the face. The cause must be the black haired woman hovering in front of you, her large, jet wings kicking up dust with every flap.

"Ace Reporter Aya Shameimaru on the scene! Now let's see…" She looks over you quickly, analyzing as much as she can in a short time. You return the favor, of course. The "ace reporter" in front of you controls the winds, and is a crow tengu on top of that, judging by the ever-distinctive hat. She finishes her little scan of you and finally lands, nodding to herself.

"Yeah, looks like I found him. Excuse me sir, I run a prestigious local newspaper and was wondering if you'd answer a few questions for me?" An interview? You?

"No thanks. I don't like having my words recorded on anything."

"Is that so? Because my little rabbit informant in the bamboo forest said that someone matching your description, quote, 'is behind some of the incidents lately, and would absolutely love to be interviewed'. So, how about it?" Damned rabbit trickster. There's no getting out of this, not if you plan on properly robbing that Eientei place later. You simultaneously sigh and groan.

"I guess I could spare some time."

"Perfect! Follow me, I have a great place to do this." She leads you two to a small plain house near the center of town. Reisen unfortunately abandons you at some point, not wanting to deal with the crow most likely. She hurriedly throws the door open and calls for who you assume to be the owner of the place.

"Akyu! Akyu, come here. I have someone interesting!" You're not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't what you saw. Answering the call is a youngish girl, with a most irritating-seeming ability you might add, that looks upon you with contempt.

"I already know of this man, Aya. I hope you've brought him here so that he can return the items he stole." What? As laughable as the sole thought of you returning something is, you haven't even been to this girl's home!

"I honestly don't know what you mean, young one. I'm new to Gensokyo, there's no way I could've robbed you yet."

"Oh no, let me refresh your memory. A jeweled vase, a golden brooch, a shortsword with gems set in the sheathe and hilt, along with thirty-nine other gifts. But especially the vase!" You can barely remember any of those, though the vase sticks out. Mostly because Are caught you and chewed you out right before you took it again. You suddenly feel a little dumber for not noticing who you were in the company of.

"Ah. So you must be the ninth one. Well look, sorry about all that, but I believe I have an interview to do. So kindly give this tengu and I a bit of peace?" She says nothing to you―merely scowls in your general direction― and walks off in a huff.

"An antagonistic relationship with the Hieda line! I certainly hit the jackpot this time." Her furious scribbles in her notebook kill any chance of getting her attention. It doesn't take her long, at least. The both of you sit at a small table in an out of the way place. Akyu reappears briefly, bearing tea and more angry glares. You happily partake of the first and prepare for Aya's questions.

[] Lie about everything. You'll never out yourself to the papers.
[] Tell the truth. You're pretty much invincible anyway.
[] Mug Aya.

That's quite a lot of theorizing for things that may or may not even be here, but I will say this: Excalibur/Avalon is the alpha, unsummoned one straight from the lake. As for Ea, that's a secret. For now just do as >>34427 said and take it easy.
[+] Lie about everything. You'll never out yourself to the papers.

You'd probably be much better off not including Ea in any substantial way. Anon has a hard enough time staying on task as-is without the lure of a "sword" capable of rending the planet asunder.
[+] Lie about everything. You'll never out yourself to the papers.

Deception is a Right.
Truth is a Privilege.
Innocence is a Luxury.

I suggested Ea in jest. Although it would be interesting to get our hands on it, if only for the hilarity of Yukari (of all people) getting frightened to death by the idea of us wielding it. I have the firm belief that Ea is one of the few weapons that Yukari could not dodge/block/redirect/manipulate the borders of due to its enormous power, authority and alien nature capable of ripping apart boundaries (dimensional or otherwise). You can't fuck with the Absolute Truth of the Creation of the World.
[x] Mug Aya.

Way to go Aya! She led us right to another place filled with valuables. We just need to get her out of the way, and we can start another looting spree completely unfettered. I mean, it's not like Akyu can stop us. Is Koakuma gone too?
Yes. Just kinda forgot to mention it. She's with Reisen doing whatever it is succubi do with bunny girls. I most certainly did not forget about everyone's favorite devil, oh no.
>She's with Reisen doing whatever it is succubi do with bunny girls.

I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe you can expound upon this. In detail.
[x] Lie about everything. You'll never out yourself to the papers.
Ea is out of our league I think.
[x] Lie about everything. You'll never out yourself to the papers.

[x] Mug Aya.
They're discussing sewing techniques & shopping for conservative clothes.
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This sounds right, somehow. Like it's the only thing that makes sense and you'd be crazy to think otherwise.

[x] Lie about everything. You'll never out yourself to the papers.

"Well then, let's start with your name."

"Zyx. Z-Y-X in Roman characters."

"Western, and even then, exotic." She's writing it, alright. How could you believe that to be anyone's name? This isn't some western fantasy setting. But if she's gonna make it that easy, all the more fun, no? "Are you native to Gensokyo?"

"No, I just came to visit a relative of mine." Actually, you should probably try to do that at some point. Drag Koakuma and Reisen along, even.

"Oh. Anyone I would know?"

"I doubt it; not the most social person, you know?"

"I see. Now for the serious questions: What's your relationship with the Scarlet Devil Mansion?"

"I just visited for some sightseeing. It was pretty fun too."

"I'll bet. But did you have anything to do with the recent break-in and mass destruction?" Right, your little duel earlier must be known all around by now.

"Destruction? You mean that bright light at the mansion? I wasn't anywhere near it. I hope everyone's okay."

"As do we all. And what about the fire in the Forest of the Lost?"

"I was doing more sightseeing when a fire started. It's why I left, actually. Why do you think I had anything to do with these?"

"Let's face it, you're a suspicious person. You were at all these places not long before tragedy struck. You don't even seem to be telling me the truth."

"That's because he's probably not."

"Stop being so cruel and bitter, Hieda. And isn't it a bit rude, Miss Shameimaru, to accuse a person you just met of things he didn't do without any kind of evidence besides 'he was there'? What of the residents? They were there too. Singling out the new guy is bad practice, especially for a journalist." She's taken aback from this statement, even pausing her writing.

"Y-yeah, I guess you're right. Sorry."

"Shameimaru, are you really going to believe anything this delinquent says?" Akyu again. This little reincarnated girl needs to shut her mouth and stop interfering.

"Ahh, little Hieda. Shall I make good on my promise to Ami, then?" Her face reddens, then pales. You've clearly scared her. Looks like there won't be any more interruptions.

"No…no, it's fine. I'll leave you be." And once again, it's just you and Aya. The display really interested the crow, however.

"Mind sharing what this promise of yours is?"

"I do. If you truly want to know, ask Akyu. Is this over yet?"

"Almost." She reaches for her camera. No way that's happening. "Just need a quick―"

"No no no, I don't think so." You snatch the camera from her hands and toss it into your coat. "Sorry, I don't do pictures."

"What! Give me back my camera!"

"I don't think so. It looks like a high quality, very expensive digital camera. I could get a lot of cash for this back home. If you really want it back, you'll have to trade for it." She stands, her wings reappearing along with a strong-looking fan.

"What's stopping me from beating it out of you?"

"My coat only responds to me. And I could easily have it destroy your precious camera. It's all up to you." Her face, which showed nothing but anger before, now displays reluctance and defeat.

"Alright, what do you want from me?"

[] Write-in

Don't let me down, Anon.
[x] Take me to the residence of Yukari Yakumo

It's time. All those other petty thefts and random acts of violence were just practice. The gap youkai has sent us here to steal valuables from the inhabitants of this fantastic land, but she is forgetting one important fact; she also resides here, and is subject to our burglary.

While her neighbors most assuredly have fantastic things to steal, and we should also get around to liberating them at some point, we have a perfect opportunity to apprehend things of real importance here, as well as getting some minor satisfaction and revenge against the youkai who has bothered us for a millennium or so.
No. I believe we already know how to get Yukari.
[x] Get her to tag along with us.
[x] If that doesnt work, Promise her an interview after all this is over.
What's our loot again?
[X] Sing the song & dance the dance of your people.
[Y] Have her show you the places around Gensokyo you haven't been.
[Z] And how about that fan?

I have a feeling I may have gone a bit overboard.

>"No, I just came to visit a relative of mine." Actually, you should probably try to do that at some point. Drag Koakuma and Reisen along, even.
Can't wait for this.
That's endgame content. You want to go to endgame already? You don't even know how postgame/NG+ works yet!

INVENTORY: Sword-flute, sword & shield, Excalibur, old bloody bandages, small piece of tech, mini-hakkero(2), Flandre's wand, Patchouli's quest items, that other orb from Yukari, tranq darts, stiletto, Aya's camera, anything else I forgot because I haven't been keeping up with these.
[x] For starters, don't mention me at all to anyone. For now, I'll let you publish it later-you can't stop the free press for long.
[x] As for the rest, guess you'll owe me a favor.
[x] For starters, don't mention me at all to anyone. For now, I'll let you publish it later-you can't stop the free press for long.
[x] As for the rest, guess you'll owe me a favor.

Am really interested in who his relative is
You forgot Avalon, which is the treasure with the most HAX we currently possess.

Keep the camera anyway? Y/N
All I know is that my gut says 'maybe'
[x] N
Call me a pussy if you want
[X] No.

I was torn between keeping the camera and returning it, so I flipped a coin. Heads, yes; Tails, no. You can probably guess the result by looking at my vote.
[x]Hell no!

In fact, why don't we continue trying to give away everything we have taken? After that, we can make up with Yukari, finish Patchouli's fetch-quest, and settle down peacefully; no more of this mugging shit, ya hear. That's just not right.
[x] No

A deal's a deal and having her constantly hounding us for it will only hamper the liberation of treasure.

We can always swipe it again before we leave.
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I'm honestly surprised no one voted for sexual favors. I had a whole Hatate subplot and everything thought up. Oh well.

[x] >>34543

"First of all, don't talk about me. To anyone. Ever. That includes this little interview this had. But I know how you journalist types are, so at least try to hold off on it." You toss her camera back to her. "I'll ask a favor of you later though, and I expect results. Got it?"

"Well. I suppose I can keep that deal." A firm handshake seals everything.

"Good. Now get out of here, go do whatever it is you tengu do."

She leaves without another word, though it takes you a moment to notice. You never got used to how fast the tengu were. She left the door open for you, at least. Akyu stops you before you can pass through the doorway.

"Did you have to bring it up in front of her?"

"You left me no choice, dear. I had to counter your rudeness somehow. See you."

And you finally leave that house for the village and you really have no idea where Reisen and Koakuma are. Or even what to do once you find them. You suppose you could go make one of those things you told to Aya true. But you'll have to find your new "friends" first. Or just let them find you, which is what happens.

"See? Here he is. And no crow to speak of. Pay up, Inaba."

"Darn crow, never does what you expect her to." A single bill changes hands. They were betting on you? Still being with Aya, maybe? Bah, none of that matters.

"Nice to see you all again. Do either of you know someone by the name of Rinnosuke?"

"Oh, that shopkeeper by the forest? His store's not too far from here, did you want me to take you there?"

"If you would be so kind, Reisen."

She leads your little troupe out of the village and toward the forest. You leave the path behind and soon come upon a pretty crappy looking shop. "Kourindou", the sign says. Your brother's running this place, huh? This place may be off-limits, then. Best to greet first and scope out later. You throw the door open and call for you little brother.

"Rinno! You in here? I came to visit!"

"Ehh~? How come neither of you ever told me you had a brother? And that you two were related, I'd have never guessed!" Why. Why is she here?

"…Yukari. To what do I owe this incredible pleasure?"

"I was just visiting a business partner. And I don't appreciate you just tossing my lovingly written notes like they're trash."

"You made them. They were trash before you even started."

"Always cold to me, aren't you? Fine, I know when I'm not welcome~" One of her portals opens below her. "Oh, and give Rumia my regards, won't you?" Finished with you, she sinks down into the gap. Thinking quickly, you manage to pull out the bomb you took from Marisa and toss it in after her. The gap closes without an explosion, so you can only hope.

"Still holding a grudge, I see. But that's not important now. Good to see you, and welcome to my shop."

Ah, good ol' Rinno. You're not sure how you didn't expect him to own this shop. He always said he hated taking things. He never really complained when you took his stuff, though. Maybe he still won't?

[] Ask him to identify some of this shit you have.
[] "Request" a few items. As provisions.
[] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[] Challenge him for the shop.

Any combination that's not [x] All of the above.
[X] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[X] Ask him to identify some of this shit you have.

We haven't seen him for a while, so we do need to catch up. We can gossip over the treasures later.
[x] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[x] Challenge him for the shop.

We are the cool older brother, always pushing our little brother to better heights, while simultaneously helping him along when he needs it. That is why we will chill with him for a little while, then unexpectedly challenge him for the rights of this rundown hovel! We don't even want this garbage mudhut, but taking away something of Rinnosuke's will teach him something; what it'll teach him, I have no clue, but it'll do him good. Build some character, or something. That is the essence of an older brother. The unseen, yet important, presence in his life which forces him to loftier ambitions.
[X] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[X] Ask him to identify some of this shit you have.

So we're related to Rinnosuke. Huh.
By the way, where is Rumia?
[X] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[X] Challenge for the ownership of this store! (But give it to him regardless of the result)

[x] (Remember what Rumia said about Exacalibur and kept a tight hold on it when she's present)
[x] Just chill with your little brother for a while.

[x] Ask him to identify some of this shit you have.
[x] "Request" a few items. As provisions.
[X] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[X] Ask him to identify some of this shit you have.
[X] Whip it out.
Fuck man, Bromance route is a go.
[X] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[X] Challenge for the ownership of this store! )
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Working on the update, but it'll be a while. Delay due to unforeseen circumstances.

Pic related.
Is that a free game where I can be the little girl? Would you mind telling me its name?
Eden Eternal, if I'm not mistaken.

Are things ok on your end?
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Many apologies to all three of you that bother reading this. Between my absurd addiction to MMOs, the regular bout of writer's block, and a few other things, I eventually lost the drive to do anything at all. I should be better for now. With that out of the way, here's an unsatisfactory update!

[X] Just chill with your little brother for a while.
[X] Ask him to identify some of this shit you have.
[x] Challenge him for the shop.

"If you girls will excuse me, I have some bonding to do with my brother here."

"Sure, go ahead. I guess I'll look around, then."

"Bonding, hm? Anything I could help with?" Even without the ravenous expression and body language, the tone Koakuma used completely gives away her intentions. A rather shameless one, isn't she? Well there'll be none of that. Your brother beats you to the punch, however.

"You can help by finding something to buy. Believe it or not, I am running a business here."

Having been denied so swiftly and coldly drains the devil's spirit and enthusiasm. She slinks over to Reisen wearing a burning scowl. You're quite surprised from it all. Rinnosuke was never one for rudeness. Must be a result of living in a place like this. You'll think on that later; Rinnosuke's taking you to the back of the shop. There's nearly as much stuff here as there was up front. It appears as though you rubbed off on the guy after all.

He and you take a seat at the nearby table and strike up a conversation. After the usual pleasantries he starts telling you about Gensokyo itself, even giving you a detailed map and information about each area. However, among the help came the sad news that you'd both become officially parentless some years ago. A freak accident involving a rock, a cliff, and another rock left his father a broken corpse and your mutual mother a shattered mirror. It sounds fishy to you both, but what can you do? It's time for business anyway, and Rinnosuke knows it.

"Since you've been here a while, I assume you've already 'liberated' some treasures?"

"That's right. And I'd like my little brother, the best appraiser I know, to tell me what they are." You take the small mechanical object out of your pocket and show it to him. He inspects shortly before reaching into his own pocket and retrieving an identical object.

"It's an optical camouflage unit. It renders you invisible to normal eyes. One of the kappa gave me one some time ago, and it certainly works well."

You couldn't have found anything more useful for one in your line of work. You'll have to make sure you keep that on you at all times, in case your amazing sneaking skill isn't enough for something. The stealth unit gets put back in your pocket, and you pull something else out of it: that other orb Yukari gave you.

"I know this is a portal of some kind, but do you know where it leads?"

"Somewhere in the Forest of Magic. But I thought you weren't going to deal with Yukari anymore?"

"Small exception. Anyway, I have more things. This flute?"

"It's called Pillow Talk. It's used to test the might of a god, but I'm not sure how you'd do that with music."

"Nor am I. What about these blocks?"

"Ah, the hakkero. I was wondering why Marisa suddenly wanted me to make another. I'm sure you know what it does, so I won't go into it."

"Ah, so you're that Kourin she mentioned. Looks like I have a new nickname for you."

"Please don't."

"Too late, Kourin. Now, this weird wand is the last thing."

"Laevatein, the tool that will destroy the world... Where did you find something like this?"

"That vampire mansion. Don't go there, you'll probably die."

"Indeed. So, is there anything else? Going to stay awhile, support your brother's business, maybe?"

"Ah yes, your fine establishment. It's very nice, very quaint. But you're not doing enough with it. Therefore, I challenge you, with this shop on the line."

"You don't mean…"

"Yes I do. Hurry, hurry, I know you still have them."

With a reluctant grumble he opens a closet and starts digging around inside. A minute later he comes back with a box. You open it and pull out one of the two fundoshi inside. You grab the other and toss it to "Kourin". You have waited much too long for this.


The two of you stare each other down. The sun has begun its descent, though its rays give no indication. You and your brother are almost completely naked outside of his shop, with a small audience of a succubus, a rabbit, and a sparrow and firefly that happened to wander by. A traditional challenge among the two of you, "down the other by any means", always to be executed in the buff. Surely your observers must think you two mad. Even so, this is how these brothers do things.

That said, you don't even want his shop. You'd rather acquire items than distribute them. Why are you doing this again?

[] Just to test his skills. He was never that good.
[] To establish superiority, of course.
[] Eh, maybe a shop would be useful at some point.
[] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.
[x] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.

Because we're a man, man.
[x] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.

Fundoshi sumo session. Fuck yeah.
[x] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.
Fuck, yes.
[X] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.
[x] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.
[X] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.

It is the most honest form of communication. The fist cannot lie.
[X] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.

Aw fuck yeah.
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[x] Good, brotherly bonding session. Men communicate best with their fists.

Yes, it's all to uphold the grand tradition. Admittedly, others would find it to be somewhat silly. Of course, that's their opinion, and it will have no bearing on you at all. And hopefully not on Rinno, either. Something like this takes two people.

"Reisen, count us down, please."

"Sure. Three…" You ready yourself, adjusting your feet and weight.

"Two…" Rinnosuke follows suit, assuming a stance slightly resembling Meiling's. If he's been taking lessons, this'll be even more interesting.

"One…" You two lock eyes, sending each other your own intent to win.


Younger Brother
Rinnosuke Morichika

Right away his palm meets your chest with enough force to stagger you. You barely recover in time to dodge the following kick, but you're ready for his next punch. You get low to dodge and give Rinnosuke a full-strength uppercut to the gut. His breathlessness and jittery movements show that he won't be forgetting that one for a while. More importantly, it makes him back off, giving you both a moment to catch your breath.

Your brother charges forward like an angry fool, stopping at the last moment to plant his fist in your face. It's met not with your skull, but your own fist. The pain is noticeable, but more than bearable. Yet you two continue to trade blows this way until much of the skin and meat is stripped away, both waiting for the other to break the pattern. Rinno steps up and takes a chance, dodging and thrusting his palm at your chin. It's one movement too many, and you punish his mistake by tossing him to the ground. It's almost a victory, as Rinno manages to stop himself with his free arm and plant his feet.

You try to force him down with your foot, but his resistance doesn't let up. Instead, you fall for his trap! He flips over, sending you face first toward the dirt next to him. You mimic Rinno's save and get to your feet. Rinnosuke's done the same, and is now coming toward you with one hand covering the spot you struck earlier. For the hell of it, you throw a punch at his running form, to see how he'd react. Surprisingly, he takes the blow full force. What's more surprising is not that he then grabs your arm, but that he pulls a small card out of his fundoshi. You do your best to break free, but his grip is much too strong.

"Human Soul 「Spiral Break」!" he shouts. The spellcard disappears, a miniature hurricane of bright green energy taking it's place. It covers his drawn back fist, giving an image of a magical drill. You're pulled forward suddenly, into Rinnosuke's downward drill punch. The attack knocks you back and off your feet, sending you spiraling into the ground. It hurts like hell―your back must almost resemble your knuckles at this point―and the hole you make is quite a few feet deep. An excellent attack, one you know was made for you and you alone. The strength behind it alone was full of respect for you. Or loving disapproval, something along those lines. At any rate, you've lost this match.


There's a small round of applause as Reisen and Koakuma come and help you out. The latter seems to be staring at you more than usual, but you pay it no mind. As soon as you're out and on your feet, however, the clapping is replaced by a couple of short shrieks and an awkward silence. Thinking it's you, you look down and inspect yourself. The flesh on your chest is torn quite a bit, and your fundoshi is nonexistent. A shame, since fabric is probably hard to come by here. Regardless of clothing state, you walk over to your brother, resting on his back on the grass.

"Hey, what are you doing?" you call out. "You won. I'm the one that should be eating dirt." Talking makes you notice that there's some in your mouth already. The taste is rather bland.

"Sorry for being tired and hurt. You know I'm not a fighter."

"That so? Your victory says otherwise." You reach your bloodied hand down toward him.

"All thanks to two of my 'customers'." He grabs your hand and you pull him up. You note that his hand is pretty cut up as well. "They didn't even tell me how tiring these things were to use."

"At least you managed it. Now, what will your reward be?"

"Hmm? Well…" He adjusts his glasses and begins thinking about it earnestly. Speaking of which, how did those things even stay on through the fight? They don't even have a scratch on them!

"I'd like you… to visit again soon."

"Heh, I haven't even left yet."

"But now you don't have a choice. Also, hurry and put your clothes back on."

"Right, right." You hold your fist out toward him, and Rinnosuke does the same. They meet, sharing more feelings―and blood―than your words ever could.


You've rested, healed, chatted and said your goodbyes. You were even given a coupon for a grilled lamprey stand. The sky is an ever darkening orange and Koakuma won't stop hanging onto you. Thanks to your new map, the whole of Gensokyo is open to you.

[] Why not use the coupon now?
[] Hopefully the mansion is fixed by now.
[] Visit one of the many sights of Gensokyo! (Which one?)
[] Write-in

Boy, does it feel nice to be able to write again! Also, as a note: whatever choice made may extend into the next day.
[X] Why not use the coupon now?
Surely all that bonding worked up an appetite.
[] Why not use the coupon now?

Did Rinnosuke's glasses get an orange tint during the spell card?
[X] Why not use the coupon now?

Can't go robbing Gensokyo blind on an empty stomach!
[x] Why not use the coupon now?

Mystia option yes.
[x] Why not use the coupon now?
Yeah, let's explore a litte bit more
[x] Why not use the coupon now?
Why not, indeed.
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[x] Why not use the coupon now?

Did... Did he just do what I think he just did?
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My answer is always "Probably."

Writing now.

So how are things going?
Phoenix Wright, Sonic Colors, Rune Factory, Samidare, Artificial Academy. Especially 3 and 5.

That lovely little improvement to /blue/ got me off my ass. I swear to get back on a semi-regular schedule even if I have to write on that crossover idea I had just to switch it up and keep my thoughts fresh.
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[X] Why not use the coupon now?

It's not like you're actually expected to be back at the mansion at any point. Well, Koakuma might be. But that's a separate matter! You're a young(?) youkai that's recently accepted defeat from his half-human younger brother in a manly bout of fisticuffs in front of four lovely maidens. Though, one of them could easily pass for a young lad to a less discerning eye. But none of that is actually important to the current matter at all. You need to make sure Reisen gets to eat. There's no guarantee that Remilia will give her anything, and letting a woman go hungry is unforgivable. Especially since you're the main character and all.

"Are you ladies hungry for a little lamprey?"

"It didn't look that little to me." Truly, this imp hanging on your arm is a master of subtlety. You have quite possibly met your match in charisma and wordplay.

"Please," interjects an unamused Reisen, "never use something with teeth as a euphemism for genitalia. The very thought of it…" The bunny holds herself, shivering. Just what is she imagining…?

"Right, we'll keep that in mind from now on." You shoot a glance at Koakuma to drive the point home. She recoils from it, letting you go and hanging her head. "Come on, we should go ahead and find that sparrow before our stomachs start growling." Reisen doesn't seem to have recovered yet, however. Rather than pry and potentially make the situation worse, you gently lift her up and start carrying her. She'd speak up if she had a problem with it. Probably.

She never does. Hopefully no one will be confused by this scene of some guy carrying a shivering rabbit through a forest being followed by an overly apologetic succubus. You'd be confused enough for the both of you anyway. Partly because of current circumstances, mostly because you have no idea where the fuck you're going. Finding a grilled food stand in a forest full of youkai is supposed to be easy.

That's when you hear it. It's incredibly faint, but you're sure it's there. A delightful little tune off in the distance. You'd call it something between whistling and birdsong, but there's no way to tell from this distance. It's enough to tell that someone's 'nearby', though, so it's something to move toward. So when it suddenly stops, you're understandably lost and forced to wander about rather aimlessly.

"Watch out. And put me down, please."

You stop moving and let the bunny's feet touch the ground again. And just in time; the little bird and bug from before come to a stop right in front of you, food cart in tow.

"You're that naked guy from earlier! What brings you here?" the little sparrow asks.

"Just thought we'd have a nice meal. I hope it's not too soon to redeem that gift of yours."

"Not at all. Just let me get to the road and set up first."

You follow her to the edge of a nearby road, get through the normal introductions, and help get everything situated. Koakuma's even helping out with the cooking, likely believing it'll somehow further her goal of sexing you. She's too enthusiastic about it, you can't bear to tell her how futile it is.

"First servings of the night, for Wriggle and our special guests. Enjoy!" Mystia gives you your meal on a stick, and you take a large bite. It's much more delicious than you thought! You'd love to tear into the rest of it, but that would be rude. You make some small talk with the firefly between bites.

"Tell me Wriggle, how did you and Mystia meet?" She takes a moment to answer, being preoccupied with the many fireflies crowding around her.

"It happened a while ago. I was attacked by that horrible shrine maiden, and ran into Mysti on my way to challenge her again. After that we started hanging out, and that's it really."

"Oh, so I'm a 'horrible shrine maiden' now?"

You cringe a little at the sound of that annoyed tone of voice. Right behind you stands Reimu, and it seems she hasn't forgotten you yet. Unless that glare is for someone else.

"And you, busting up my shrine, eating my food, and not even leaving a single donation. Where do you get off?"

"Now now, I didn't eat any of your food. I gave it to that green-haired goddess."

"So that ghost is telling lies again. I'll have to punish her too."

"Um, 'too'?"

"Of course. I'll bet you're behind that incident at Remilia's dumb mansion as well!" To this you hold your hands out and shrug, slowly moving your head left and right.

"I was nowhere near the mansion at that time. Though I did notice a girl in black clothes on a broom flying there on my way out. Maybe you should ask her?"

"Nice try, but she was my first suspect! Now fess up. You did it, didn't you!"

So much for that bluff. Now you have to do something, otherwise you'll get into a fight and risk breaking Mystia's cart.

[] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.
[] Keep up the bluff, it'll get you somewhere eventually.
[] Escape.

Finally. I doubt anyone's interested in what kept me, so I'll just make the promise of 2-3 updates a week from now on and wait.
[x] Escape.
Yeah the only choice. She might have an unbeatable spellcard, but she is inexperienced in the ways of cowardice!
[X] Escape.

Those who figth and run away live to fi-oh screw it, I'm not fighting Reimu. He may be the Main Character, but Reimu has Plot Armour thick enough to withstand Yukari.
[x] Keep up the bluff, it'll get you somewhere eventually.

Escaping leads to her knowing its us, leading to a fight. The only option that would really delay the fight is this one.
[x] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.

You are all cowards. This is our chance to steal some incredibly renown items. We'll be the first Youkai on the block to own Reimu's balls.

You've convinced me.

[x] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.
[X] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.

Maybe he'll luck out and actually leave her balls battered and useless.
>>35928 here, changing vote to

[x] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.

As >>35930 has convinced me so.
The Hakurei balls and magic vs Excalibur and Avalon...

I'm going with the original Sword of Promised Victory and the original "Fuck you, I'm outside reality and can't be harmed" sheath.

[X] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.
[] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.
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[X] Just fight the silly girl. You'll apologize to Mystia later.

To hell with it. Humans like this would never listen to your flawless reasoning. You'll just have to smack her around until she understands things.

"I'm not admitting to anything. If I have to fight you, then so be it."

"Alright. How many cards will you use?" Ah yes, there's still that matter.

"…What if I don't have any?"

Silence. The only answer you receive is silence. After Wriggle hushes all the crickets and other noisemaking bugs, that is. Meanwhile Reimu's annoyance visually increases, almost to the point of rage.

"So let me get this straight… You come out of nowhere and go cause an incident, and you're not even following the rules for doing it?" There are rules for that kind of thing? This place really doesn't make sense.
"I'm gonna have to kick your ass extra hard for that!"

Stubbornly Violent Shrine Mai―Reimu's gohei is sent careening into your nose, breaking it on contact.


"What the hell's up with that title! Give me something normal!" Okay, damn. You rub your nose a bit and try again.

Main Character

With a puny ability like "flight", this should be over in an instant. You pull out Excalibur and prepare to… attack? Your opponent's disappeared. You Scan all around, in case she's invisible. Once you stop, a foot appears from nowhere just above your face. Reimu's kick connects, driving your head back and into the ground. The force of the slam causes you to drop your sword. You reach out for it, only for a line of needles to pin down your arm. This is repeated for your other three limbs, rendering you defenseless.

"Holy Relic「Yin-Yang Sanctifier Orb」!"

She pulls out a small yin-yang orb, that gets much larger. Larger than yourself. You start to get nervous when it glows and begins to spin. Then she slams it into you. It knocks all the air from your lungs, keeping your from screaming in pain. Just as well, since this hurts much more than Rinno's attack. It only lasts for thirty seconds, but it easily felt like half an hour. This girl is certainly a Hakurei.


"There, I hope you learned your lesson." Indeed: Fighting a Hakurei miko still sucks. "And I'll be taking this sword of yours to cover the repair costs. Thank you very much."

With you hurting too much to even try to escape, Reimu picks up Excalibur and leaves. Once she's well out of sight, your fellow non-humans unpin you and help you up. It's hard to stay on your feet, but you manage somehow.

"I'm sorry you ladies had to see that."

"Don't worry," Wriggle says with a pat on the back that almost knocks you back to the ground, "we've all been through something like that."

"Yeah," Reisen chimes in. "Think of it as a personal welcome to Gensokyo."

"I would've been better off not meeting her again…" Especially since she's taken the second best treasure you've gotten this whole time. You'll pay her back for all of this. Maybe wreck that shrine of hers more than you did before. And hit that ghost for complicating things too. But not tonight. "Come on, Koakuma. Let's give this junk to your boss and see if we can get a room for Reisen."

The flight back is rather uneventful, besides the various offers of "making the pain go away" from a certain party member. You do notice on your way that the mansion looks as though nothing happened to it at all. You never expected fairies to be able to do that much work so quickly. Your surprise is shifted once you walk through the front door; Sakuya's holding a knife to your throat. At this point all you can do is sigh.

"Good evening, Miss Izayoi."

"Welcome back, sir. The Mistress and I would like to know your reasons for wrecking our home and increasing my workload tenfold."

"Self-defense. I'm certain you saw the magician there."

"I see. And what do you know of the Young Mistress's lost belonging?"

"She lost something? That's quite unfortunate."

Sakuya stares at you intently, eyes as red as the walls of this place. "I know you're lying, but there's nothing I can do until milady says otherwise." She puts away the knife, thankfully. "I assume Miss Inaba here requires a room as well?"

"Show her to mine, please. I'll find some place to stay."

Reisen is led away, wordlessly shaking her head at the spectacle she's just witnessed. Meanwhile, you reach into your coat and pull out those five old things Patchouli wanted. You give them to Koakuma and start out the door.

" I'm going to sleep, outside in the garden, under the moon and stars. Give your boss my regards. And that junk, of course."

You wander around outside until you find a nice, comfy spot against a wall. Slumping down, you close your eyes and drop off rather quickly.

[] An unpleasant dream of the past.
[] It's not exactly what you'd call a dream.
[] You can't get any sleep like this.
[x] An unpleasant dream of the past.

Hakurei Ass-kickings: Greatest Hits
>"And I'll be taking this sword of yours to cover the repair costs. Thank you very much."
>With you hurting too much to even try to escape, Reimu picks up Excalibur and leaves.
God. Dammit.

[X] An unpleasant dream of the past.
File 131233614646.jpg - (30.18KB, 473x360 , MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.jpg) [iqdb]
I knew we gotten the turboExcalipoor.

[x] An unpleasant dream of the past.
This is why you think with your head and not your balls.

He didn't even get to use it before Reimu went God-Mode Sue on his ass. She broke the fourth wall for crying out loud!
[x] It's not exactly what you'd call a dream.
That's it, no more promises. Every time I try shit goes wrong. Official "hiatus" starts now, next update will be in a new thread.

Fucking textbooks.

Thread Watcher x