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File 144658815837.jpg - (13.99KB, 480x360, anothermeeting.jpg) [iqdb]
26197 No. 26197
Today begins a tale of a special meeting between two eternally young maidens. Though they have the same meeting every two weeks, every time, and have done so for years now, This is the first of these meetings in which you may be proud to bear witness to.

However, before we begin, a question must be asked.

Are you the Beauty Witnessed from Afar, or are you the Eternally Burning Flame?

---

[]Pretty moon girl
[]Pretty bird girl
[]Fuck you, I'm a rabbit
[]LOUD INTERRUPTING PLATES

---

Here goes nothin'. It's still within the starting time!

http://www.touhou-project.com/gensokyo/res/13978.html
Expand all images
>> No. 26198
[x]LOUD INTERRUPTING PLATES (sound effect)
[x]Fuck you, I'm a rabbit
>> No. 26199
[x]LOUD INTERRUPTING PLATES

I'm curious to see what this does.
>> No. 26200
[x]Fuck you, I'm a rabbit

When is this ever a bad choice?
>> No. 26201
[x]Pretty bird girl

Best grill '04
>> No. 26202
[]Pretty moon girl
because why not
>> No. 26203
File 144658989525.png - (217.75KB, 465x545, Futo too cool.png) [iqdb]
26203
[]LOUD INTERRUPTING PLATES


WE DORK NOW.
>> No. 26204
[X]Pretty bird girl
mokou a best
>> No. 26205
[x]Pretty bird girl

Interrupting plates is most likely Mononobe no Futo. She has no business in /eientei/, so fuck her, let's be best grill like we're supposed to.
>> No. 26206
[x] LOUD INTERRUPTING PLATES

The most adorable nerd.
>> No. 26207
I'm making this shit up as I go. I told myself to give it the go ahead if it reached at least three.

Looks Like PLATES IT IS!

...

...

... Go ahead, keep voting. Choose your character.

I now have something like structure and plot to work with, thanks to you guys.
There can be no witness! Art an Olde such as thee willing to take lyf to hide thy secret? If þe fect is made public, thy lyf amongst friends and acquaintances shalt surely be Pound-Symbol WRECKED!!! Aret thou mad? Put the stove on, milady, for þe olde pork is SALTED!!! DOHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
>> No. 26209
File 144659581098.png - (357.07KB, 708x1654, ah stop.png) [iqdb]
26209
>Choose your character

What part of 'WE DORK NOW' didn't you understand?

[x] Futo
>> No. 26210
[]Fuck you, I'm a rabbit
>> No. 26211
[x] The one and only adorkable Futo
>> No. 26212
>>26207
Yeah, sticking with >>26206
>> No. 26213
It looks like we're best dork now.

Time for a crash-course on Old to Middle English!!!

MONONOBEEEE!!! FORGIVE ME FOR THIS SACRILEGIOUS GARBAGE I'M GOING TO WRIIIITE!!!
>> No. 26214
Though it be vile, I, the most Legendary (second-only-to-his-holiness-Our-Lord-Prince-Miko-of-the-Toyosatomimi-clan!) and Most Adorable, Always Persevering Prince of Perfect Politness and MOST HUMBLE OF HIS CLAN, FUTOSUHIME OF THE MONONOBE CLAN, have ordained it necessary to SPY on the local head of a FAMILY FRIEND, the HONORABLE FUJIWARA CLAN!

I, Mononobe no Futo, needeth to acquire confirmation or denial of TRUTH! For I have heard that the head of the Mononobe clan's FAMILY FRIEND, the FUJIWARA CLAN, is capable of CONTROLLING FIRE! If she is truly as PYROPHILIC as mine ears have heard, then she shall make a FINE BRIDE for one as MAGNIFICENT as I, MONONOBE NO FUTO!


---

I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, am standing on the DOORMAT of MYOUREN TEMPLE, where I am having PREFOUND THOUGHTS.

The BAMBOO FOREST OF THE ADORABLE WILD GAME THAT YOU MUST CUDDLE is to the east. The HONORABLE FUJIWARA supposedly frequents the area in hopes that she may CHALLENGE the PRINCESS OF LEGEND, THE ETERNAL BEAUTY, PRINCESS MOONBEAM to IMMORTAL COMBAT.

To the WEST is an ICE CREAMS TRUCK. It is playing THE VILE ICE FAIRY'S THEME, and is therefore the one that sells MIKO POPS. Miko, referencing SHINTO MIKO, not SUPERIOR MIKO. 'Tis truly a TRAGEDY that the finest ICE CREAMS are of an INFERIOR RELIGION, but the QUALITY of ICE CREAMS made at the MORIYA SHRINE are UNDENIABLE.

To the NORTH is the HONORABLE FUJIWARA'S CART. I could have sworn it was to be found in the ADORABLE BUNNY FOREST OF BAMBOO, however, even I, THE GREAT MONONOBE NO FUTO, can be deceived, however RARELY it occurs!

To the SOUTH is a BUILDING THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT AND SHOULD BE BURNED DOWN.

---

[ ] RABBITS AND PLOT
[ ] ICE CREAM AND SHINTO
[ ] CHICKEN AND SURPRISE GUEST
[ ] STUPIDITY AND DUMBASSES AND JERKS AND MONSTERS AND HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE WOMEN IN HOODS AND RETARDS AND KNAVES AND FIRE

---

I decided that I should not learn something this advanced if I wish to post every day.

Also, 10:50! WEST COAST, REPRESENT!
>> No. 26215
>>26214

In short, I'll be keeping the archaic English to a minimum, because I'm never gonna' get ancient English down until I've got TIME AND DEDICATION in equal measure.
>> No. 26216
[x] CHICKEN AND SURPRISE GUEST

They can bond over their mutual old lineage and love for chicken, as a starvation palliative, and fire, as a method of cleansing dried leaves and other lesser beings.
>> No. 26217
[x] CHICKEN AND SURPRISE GUEST

AN ANOMALY. WE MUST INVESTIGATE.
>> No. 26218
[x] CHICKEN AND SURPRISE GUEST

Hello Kogasa.

Also, why is an angry Space Marine trying to woo Mokou?
>> No. 26219
[x] RABBITS AND PLOT

Going against the tide because I really wanna see Futo squeal over cute rabbits.
>> No. 26220
[x] STUPIDITY AND DUMBASSES AND JERKS AND MONSTERS AND HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE WOMEN IN HOODS AND RETARDS AND KNAVES AND FIRE

Maximum dork.
>> No. 26221
[ ] STUPIDITY AND DUMBASSES AND JERKS AND MONSTERS AND HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE WOMEN IN HOODS AND RETARDS AND KNAVES AND FIRE
>> No. 26222
[x] CHICKEN AND SURPRISE GUEST

Who cares about that useless building to the south? Feh!
>> No. 26223
[X] CHICKEN AND SURPRISE GUEST
>> No. 26224
[x] STUPIDITY AND DUMBASSES AND JERKS AND MONSTERS AND HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE WOMEN IN HOODS AND RETARDS AND KNAVES AND FIRE
>> No. 26225
File 144687729313.png - (413.88KB, 800x985, ca664e4ff97cf34b3e133897a489e4d8.png) [iqdb]
26225
> STUPIDITY AND DUMBASSES AND JERKS AND MONSTERS AND HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE WOMEN IN HOODS AND RETARDS AND KNAVES AND FIRE

How did I miss the side comment about Byakuren?
>> No. 26226
But, more importantly,Votes say [X] Chicken it is! Update as soon as I have the DETERMINATION AND TIME!!!

Since I've failed this whole 'post-every-day' thing, I'm considering performing a PROPER LUCHADORES UNMASKING and REVEAL MY TRUE NAME IN SHAME.

Minus the leaving part. I wouldn't do that unless I had a REASON WORTH TELLING YOU ABOUT.

I failed solely because of my weakness to the sin of SLOTH. I got LAZY.

BUT YOUR UPDATE SHALL COME, REGARDLESS!!!!
>> No. 26227
>>26226

You can't take off your mask dude. That's the whole point of the carnival.
>> No. 26228
File 144690334989.jpg - (385.99KB, 1469x826, chBWEEchBWEEchBWEEstillhauntsmydreams.jpg) [iqdb]
26228
I, MONONOBE NO 'FUTO THE GREAT of the HONORABLE MONONOBE CLAN NO FUTO' FUTO, decide to approach the SUSPICIOUSLY OUT OF PLACE FOOD CART.

I, however, am halted by shock when the cart jolts forward a step with a great sound, as best described as the AUDITORY FORM of the letters "Chbwee", as they are written. My heart performed what are known in the outside as CALLISTHENICS, which is an ODD OUTSIDER TERM for became HASHED TAG SPOOKED.

When the cart lurched forward a second time, it became clear! This must be the work of an ENEMY YOUKAI!

Because I, MONONOBE NO FUTOSUHIME THE PROUD, am very clever, I FOLLOW THE CART, staying JUST TO THE SIDE and OUT OF SIGHT. I CAN NOT SEE the driver, though the cart was NOT LARGE. This is only because THE WORLD IS NOT MADE FOR PEOPLE of PERFECT HEIGHT, and the CART was SIMPLY TOO LARGE to see over.

The DRIVER is speaking to herself and I can identify from the STRANGELY APPEALING TONES in her ODDLY JITTERY VOICE that she is FEMALE. She spoke THUSLY;

"M-M-Mast-Master I-I-I---I'veMaster I've retrieved the foodPRAISEME Please, praise me master, please praise me master please praise mmmmast-t-ter I've retrieved the f-f-f-f-..."

---

I, EVERYBODY'S DEPENDABLE BIG SISTER, MONONOBE NO FUTO, am hiding next to a cart in the possession of THE HONORABLE FUJIWARA. It is NOT being driven by HER SOMETHING-I-DON'T-KNOW-I'VE-NOT-CONVERSED-WITH-HER-NESS, THE FUJIWARA MAIDEN, but by a MYSTERIOUS INTRUDER who is 'CHBWEE'-ing the cart forward STEPS AT A TIME.

The mystery driver CHBWEE's in a manner that, oddly enough, brings to mind images of GIGANTIC MAN-DRIVEN MACHINES in HUMAN FORM from the OUTSIDE PICTURE DRAMAS I watched many of recently. Her CHBWEE I can identify as belonging to a BIZZARE ALIEN RACE OF GIANTS in one show called the ZENTRADI. Specifically THE TIE IN VIDEO GAME you played on the GAME STATION OF TODAY, the PLAYSTATION 2. The outside world is a TERRIFYING PLACE to have toppled SO MANY GIANTS with naught more than the MUSIC OF TODAY and SIMPLE, if TENACIOUS, GUIDED BULLETS AND PLAYER AIMMED SHOTS.

My LEFT NIPPLE is ITCHY. Tis' not one of those itches that will DRIVE ME MAD if I ignore it, but is MILDLY IRRITATING, nonetheless.

I have a PARTY PACK of PAPER PLATES, PILED PERILOUSLY in my TITANIC SLEEVES. If I COMMUNE WITH THE PLATES, my BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN SERVITUDE TO HIS DREAMINESS, PRINCE TOYOSATOMIMI NO MIKO, can be used to IMPROVE MY HEARING to acquire a BETTER READ on my MYSTERIOUS NEW ACQUAINTANCE.

-----
[ ] Take a peek at CHBWEE girl and FIND OUT WHERE the GIANT ROBOT NOISES are originating from.
[ ] Call out to her, as she may be a GOOD FRIEND TO BE.
[ ] Throw a DISTRACTION PLATE ahead of her, that you may DECLARE BATTLE before she can PROPERLY RESPOND.
[ ] Give your APPARENTLY FELLOW SERVANT a THUMBS-UP for WORKING HARD.

- [ ] SCRATCH your DAMNABLE NIPPLE
- - [ ] CONSIDER merits of PAPER PLATES over CERAMIC.
- - - [ ] no what are you doing get back to the plot

[ ] A CLEVER WRITE IN BY YOU, THE MOST MYSTERIOUS ANON.


------------

Well, that came out weird... But, hey, there it is! Something to work with!
>> No. 26229
[x] Take a peek

Robot noises? What in the world is that?
>> No. 26230
[x] Take a peek at CHBWEE girl and FIND OUT WHERE the GIANT ROBOT NOISES are originating from.
- [x] SCRATCH your DAMNABLE NIPPLE

Itchy tasty
>> No. 26231
[X] Throw a DISTRACTION PLATE ahead of her, that you may DECLARE BATTLE before she can PROPERLY RESPOND.
- [X] SCRATCH your DAMNABLE NIPPLE
>> No. 26232
[x] Take a peek at CHBWEE girl and FIND OUT WHERE the GIANT ROBOT NOISES are originating from.
- [x] SCRATCH your DAMNABLE NIPPLE
>> No. 26233
[x] Take a peek at CHBWEE girl and FIND OUT WHERE the GIANT ROBOT NOISES are originating from.
- [x] SCRATCH your DAMNABLE NIPPLE
>> No. 26234
>>26228

[X] Throw a DISTRACTION PLATE ahead of her, that you may DECLARE BATTLE before she can PROPERLY RESPOND.
- [X] SCRATCH your DAMNABLE NIPPLE
>> No. 26235
CHBWEE, CHBWEE wins.

Also, gonna' scratch that itch before it gets worse.
>> No. 26236
I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, THE MYSTERIOUS BEAUTY OF TAO, PEEK CAREFULLY around the cart to find a GREEN-HAIRED MAID stomping forward in a SLOW, DETERMINED MARCH. Due to your EXPERT ANALYSIS SKILLS, you determine that the persistent CHBWEE noises you keep hearing are originating from the GREEN-HAIRED MAID'S FOOTSTEPS.

The maid's CUTE MAID UNIFORM is in POOR STATE. Her eyes are UNFOCOUSED. A SCALP OF WHITE HAIR AND PRETTY RED-WHITE RIBBONS is hanging from her apron strap. An ANCIENT GROCERY BAG is hanging from her arm while she PULLS THE CART. She is still TALKING TO HERSELF and her voice is still TAKING STRANGE TONES and SKIPPING ODDLY. The skipping permeates not only THE ENTIRETY OF HER SPEECH, but ALSO the sound of the PERSONAL COMPUTER you ACCIDENTALLY DESTROYED while searching ENTIRELY CLOTHED images of HIS BEAUTEOUS GRACIOUSNESS on ENTIRELY LEGITIMATE SITES on the KAPPA NET, TOYOSATOMIMI NO MIKO. For a moment, the skipping HALTS ALL TOGETHER allowing for PROPER SPEECH.

"F-F-FoodI've retrieved th-the food Master I've retrieved the food and done all the shopping and even found the Head Feathers of the Phoenix! I finally did it, master! After all these years, I finally did it! Hmm? Non-human life detected?"

The maid's eyes GLOW GREEN as she stops walking and STARES DIRECTLY AT ME.

My ENTIRE BODY FREEZES in FEAR A TACTICAL TRANCE.

This TACTICAL TRANCE POSE is of my PRESTIGIOUS FIGURE poking its' RADICOOL HAT around a corner while SCRATCHING MY LEFT NIPPLE ABSENTMINDEDLY, as my FINGERS on my LEFT HAND are the only part of my body proven IMMUNE TO FEAR TRANCES.


---

I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, have suffered the indignity of ALLOWING MYSELF to be CAUGHT by a MAID that sounds like an OVERHEATING PERSONAL COMPUTER NINE EIGHT. Outsider technology has WEIRD NAMES. WHY CALL IT NINE EIGHT?

Our LEFT NIPPLE is now COMFORTABLE SCRATCHED! It FEELS NICE AND RELIEVING.

We are FROZEN in a TACTICAL TRANCE.

The maid DOES NOT appear to offer HOSTILE INTENT. However, she is wearing a SCALP OF WHITE HUMAN HAIR (with the cutest little ribbony amulets in them!) ON her APRON. However, she is ALSO A WESTERN-STYLE MAID, and THEREFORE, TOO CUTE to ever TRULY CONSIDER HARMING, as there is a TIME and PLACE for VIOLENCE.

She has a SHOPPING BAG slung over her RIGHT ARM, her hands TOO FULL OF CART to hold it.

The MOON IS FULL, because you HAVE NOT MENTIONED THE TIME OF DAY. As the HERO OF TAO, MONONOBE NO FUTO, it is a GREAT SHAME on your part having FAILED to PROPERLY SET TIME AND PLACE.

Your MATCHES are in your SEXY PARACHUTE SLEEVES, next to your PLATES and YAOI.


----

[ ]LUNGE at the OBVIOUS YO-KAI. MAID or NO, she must be STOPPED! WITH FIRE!
[ ]FLEE in TERROR from the OBVIOUS YOUKAI. MAID or NO, YOUKAI are DANGEROUS.
[ ]HUG the OBVIOUS YOU 'KAY! YO-KAI or NOT, a maid that LETS HER UNIFORM TEAR is a maid who has HAD IT ROUGH.
[ ]The MOON is OUT in FULL tonight. It looks PARTICULARLY BEAUTIFUL.
[ ]CHUCK PLATE.
[ ]COMMUNE WITH PLATES.
[ ]OFFER TO HELP WITH THE CART. 'Tis only the NEIGHBORLY thing to do!
[ ]Who in the name of GOD-SAMA is MASTER?
[ ]DECLARE SPELL CARD BATTLE
[ ]CALL UPON THE KIRIN
[ ]WRITE IN


-----

There you have it! Mecha-Maids! Let's see how things go now! Y'all enjoy this while I take my well-earned sleep with a TOTALLY EXISTENT PLAN for what happens next!I don't actually know what I'm doing
>> No. 26237
[x]Who in the name of GOD-SAMA is MASTER?
[x]COMMUNE WITH PLATES.

I'm a bit lost and so is she, it seems.
>> No. 26238
[ ]Who in the name of GOD-SAMA is MASTER?
>> No. 26239
[ ]OFFER TO HELP WITH THE CART. 'Tis only the NEIGHBORLY thing to do!
>> No. 26240
[x]OFFER TO HELP WITH THE CART. 'Tis only the NEIGHBORLY thing to do!
[x]COMMUNE WITH PLATES.

WHAT DO OUR BRETHREN TELL US?
>> No. 26241
[x]OFFER TO HELP WITH THE CART. 'Tis only the NEIGHBORLY thing to do!
[x]COMMUNE WITH PLATES.

Offer ASSISTANCE PLATES
>> No. 26242
[X]Who in the name of GOD-SAMA is MASTER?
[X]CALL UPON THE KIRIN
>> No. 26243
It's a three-way tie between

[X]COMMUNE WITH THE PLATES
[X]HELP WITH THE CART
and
[X]WHO'S MASTER?

Update coming as soon as it's written!
>> No. 26244
File 144754149487.jpg - (12.37KB, 250x177, Iapologizeanon.jpg) [iqdb]
26244
I am here to let the world know that I am NOT DEAD. This update is taking a bit longer to pound out than I thought it would!

Also, losing your progress twice tends to be a bummer.

BUT!!!

Update SHOULD be out today!

And, hopefully, the QUICK UPDATES should resume!
>> No. 26245
File 144754800641.jpg - (266.79KB, 700x900, never forget.jpg) [iqdb]
26245
I, MONONOBE 'KING OF GRANDIOSE-TITLES' FUTO, take a moment to COMMUNE WITH MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN ARMS, the PLATES.

I raise my ADORABLY LARGE SLEEVES to my mouth slowly, whispering to my WAR COUNSEL.

Among the many thoughts and ideas that sprung from them did one option present itself above all others! That option was to express GREAT LOVE for TOYOSATOMIMI THE PERFECT when next I do see them.

However, in my time of need, a considerably more HELPFUL answer was presented!

A MAIDEN on a LONG VOYAGE stands before me! Therefore, as a GOOD TAOIST, I should offer to help!

Dropping my sleeves from my face, I wear my BRIGHTEST, MOST WINNING SMILE!

"Fair maiden!" I begin, "'Tis quite the burden you haul! Such a fair being should be riding the cart, not pulling such a heavy thing! Allow me to pull the cart for you!"

The maid, clearly IN AWE of my EXPERT WORD-PLAY, does not respond for a moment. When finally she DOES respond, it is to STATE THE OBVIOUS.

"Scan complete. Energy Signature 80% match with EXAMPLE DATA HERMIT. Situational Threat Level = 15%. Notes: Hermits are further removed from Human Flaws than the average traveler, Greed being among those flaws. Theft = unlikely. Sexual Assault = unlikely. Unwanted Sales Pitch = unlikely."

The maid follows this REPORT with a RESPECTFUL CURTSY.

"An honor to meet you, Mistress...?"

Taking this as my cue, I, MASTER MONONOBE NO FUTO, introduce myself as such!

"An honor to meet you, Mistress Master Mononobe no Futo. I am Ruukoto, at your service. And, with the introductions out of the way..."

The maid, who I now know is named RUUKOTO, comes out of her curtsy to clap her hands together in a manner MOST GLEEFUL.

"I would be absolutely delighted and honored to accept your help, Mistress Master Mononobe no Futo!"

...

"Pray, tell..."

As I prepare to set out marching, RUUKOTO sitting on the top of the cart SIDE-SADDLE, a QUESTION occurs to me!

"... Ruukoto, you mentioned a master before. To whom would that title refer?"

Ruukoto took a moment to think, tapping her finger on her chin twice with a hollow TINK-TINK, and her INNER WORKINGS heating up like MY KAPPALCULATOR did when you tried playing the OUTSIDE GAME of CRISIS on it.

"Accessing memory banks... Accessiiing... Data acquired. I am proud to say that my beloved Master is none other than the Hakurei Shrine Maiden."

I nod in confirmation, taking my first steps on the road to the Hakurei Shrine, which, as MY GENIUS INTELLECT has confered, is our destinatttttt-

"Did you say THE HAKUREI SHRINE, perchance?"

I am SHAKING in TERROR MILD CONFUSION. I am hoping DESPERATELY that RUUKOTO mentioned a DIFFERENT LOCALE and that I simply MISHEARD her. Like, for example, the LESS-HEAVILY-FORTIFIED MORIYA Shrine. Or, perhaps, the SCARLET-DEVIL-WHO-HOST-QUITE-CHARMING-TEA-PARTIES-ON-THE-WEEKENDS MANSION.

Ruukoto DASHES those DESPERATE DREAMS across the ground like SO MUCH DETRITUS.

"Reimu Hakurei, of the Hakurei Shrine is my Master. I can't wait to see her darling little purple head again! Why?"


---


I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, AM IN DEEP SHIT.

RUUKOTO is gazing LOVINGLY at a SCRAP OF PAPER in her hands, OBLIVIOUS TO MY TERROR DESPERATE SCHEMING.

A FLY is buzzing UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE to my NOSE.


---


[ ]NOPE. NOT WORTH IT. FORGIVE ME, BUT STORY CALLS, AND SHE WILL NOT BE DENIED.
[ ]WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.
[ ]IF THE HAKUREI IS YOUR MASTER, WHY ARE YOU OUT HERE? TAKE OUR MIND OFF THE COMING TERROR.
[ ]SLAP THE FLY
[ ]COMMUNE WITH THE ONE PLATE YOU OWN THAT HAS A NAME AND PERSONALITY.
[X]your PC-98 a shit


-----

Well then, there you go! Finally updating again!
>> No. 26246
[X]WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.
No maid left behind
>> No. 26247
[x] NOPE. NOT WORTH IT. FORGIVE ME, BUT STORY CALLS, AND SHE WILL NOT BE DENIED.
[X]your PC-98 a shit
>> No. 26248
[x] NOPE. NOT WORTH IT. FORGIVE ME, BUT STORY CALLS, AND SHE WILL NOT BE DENIED.
[x] you're PC 98 a shit

A SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
>> No. 26249
[ ]WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.

maids are love
>> No. 26250
[x]WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.

HONOR demands we hold TRUE!
>> No. 26251
[X]WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.
>> No. 26252
[X]WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.
[X]SLAP THE FLY
>> No. 26253
[X]WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.
>> No. 26254
[x] WE'LL NOT LEAVE A MAIDEN IN DISTRESS, EVEN IF WE BECOME DISTRESSED MAIDENS AS A RESULT.

A GENTLEWOMAN NEVER LEAVES A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS IN, ER, DISTRESS.

-[X] SLAP THE FLY

GODDAMN STOP RUINING THE MOOD
>> No. 26255
[X] CHIVALRY WINS AGAIN!

And, by default

[X]your PC-98 a shit also wins!

Because the author voted for it! NYEHEHE!

Updates when they're written!
>> No. 26256
>Because the author voted for it! NYEHEHE!
You fiend!
>> No. 26257
I, AWESOME NO MONONOBE NO FUTO, HATE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD OTHER MAIN CHARACTERS HAVE TOLD ME IS CALLED ANON WITH A BURNING PASSION.

REGARDLESS, I GIVE MY MOST WINNING SMILE YET AGAIN, OFFERING REASSURANCE THAT MY LEGS ARE NOT, IN FACT, QUAKING IN TERROR PASSION RIGHT NOW.

"No reason, milady. Naught more than mild curiosity."

Ruukoto's attention is DRAWN AWAY from her SCRAP OF PAPER. She stares at me in SILENCE for a good FIVE SECONDS before SPEAKING.

"But your dopamine levels are sky rocketing. Are you certain?"

I know NOT what foul yo-kai DOPE-A-MEAN is, VAST as my KNOWLEDGE is. I feel DEEP within my GUT, however, that I MIGHT have just been called a COWARD.

This WILL NOT DO. I STEEL my RESOLVE, Puffing out my depressingly small PERFECT CHEST in a show of BRAVADO.

"I, the great Futo of the Mononobe Clan, shall bring you to the Hakurei shrine, even should it cost me my life!"

Ruukoto clasps her HANDS over her MOUTH, gasping in SHOCK at my BOLD STATEMENT. She appears to be ON THE VERGE of TEARS.

"Goodness... My goodness... Oh my goodness... You would go so far for a simple maid like me?"

AS I THOUGHT, my PERFECT TAOIST MANNERS has moved a FAIR MAIDEN to TEARS for once AGAIN. I give her the OBVIOUS ANSWER.

"Of course, milady! 'Tis only natural to serve a maiden so fair!"

There is a long moment of SILENCE as Ruukoto REGISTERS what she has JUST HEARD. Her eyes BEGIN TO MOISTEN. The maid is wearing an ENORMOUS GRIN as she begins WEEPING IN JOY and CRACKLING WITH ELECTRICITY at my BEAUTIFUL POETRY OF WORDS. You are fairly certain that EMITTING ELECTRICITY from one's EYES is a HEALTHY OCCURRENCE. The same could also be stated for occasionally SKIPPING AND STUTTERING SYLLABLES of one's own HICCUPS OF JOY.


---

I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, have just MOVED A FAIR MAIDEN TO TEARS with my CHIVALRY FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN. I MIGHT have BROKEN said maiden.

RUUKOTO is currently SHORTING OUT from HER OWN TEARS of JOY. It is as CUTE as it is ALARMING, which is to say VERY.

The FLY is ESCAPING, but not anywhere NEAR to FAST ENOUGH.

A SMALL FAIRY in a MAID UNIFORM is ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS off in the distant fields.

I HAVE NOT MOVED THE CART since the LAST UPDATE.

I have a MILD CRAVING for SPRAY CAN CHEESE.

-----

[ ] What is that PAPER you were looking at? Change the subject so she stops crying!
[ ] Tell a PLATE joke! Nothing stops tears like BAD JOKES!
[ ] You'll NOT ESCAPE fly!
[ ] Scratching that nipple felt PRETTY NICE...
[ ] MAPPY was a FUN GAME!
[ ] CONTEMPLATE how to PROPERLY FUG a FISH-WAIFU
[ ] COUNT the number of ARGUABLY CHINESE TOUHOUS
[ ] PAT-CHOU-LEE NAW-LEDGE is RUSSIAN.
[ ] ARISU MARG-EHT-ROID is FRENCH.
[ ] MARISA KIRISHITTY is a SCOT.
[ ] Damn it writefag, stop with the stupid options
[ ] MORE FANFICTION REFERENCES

- [ ] Take a QUICK PEEK at the STORY we are MARCHING AWAY FROM as a means to TRANSITION TO THE SHRINE.

-----

God dammit, I need to stop hopping myself up on caffeine before doing things. This update might be more shit than usual, but it's an update, nonetheless!
>> No. 26258
[x] What is that PAPER you were looking at? Change the subject so she stops crying!
>> No. 26259
[X] Tell a PLATE joke! Nothing stops tears like BAD JOKES!

Ruukoto route locked, there is no escape, she will literally claw the scalp off an enraged phoenix to serve you.
>> No. 26260
[X] Tell a PLATE joke! Nothing stops tears like BAD JOKES!
>> No. 26261
[X] Tell a PLATE joke! Nothing stops tears like BAD JOKES!
>> No. 26262
[x] Tell a PLATE joke! Nothing stops tears like BAD JOKES!
>> No. 26263
[X] PAT-CHOU-LEE NAW-LEDGE is RUSSIAN.
>> No. 26264
Votes called for,

[x] Tell a PLATE joke! Nothing stops tears like BAD JOKES!

Updates coming as soon as they're written!

Don't worry guys, I'll try not to rush it this time.
>> No. 26265
Ruukoto is WEEPING. Though it be in joy, her TEARS appear to be MILDLY HARMFUL to her, as most tears do NOT cause the CRIER to be ELECTROCUTED.

I come to the conclusion that DISTRACTING HER from her TEARS would be the WISEST COURSE OF ACTION.

I pull from my LEFT POCKET a PAPER PLATE. I wave said plate to GET the maid's ATTENTION.

"Ruukoto, look here!"

Ruukoto DOES SO, though she repeats the motion THRICE as the sound of a SERVO GETTING STUCK sounds as she attempts to LIFT her HEAD. Upon SUCCEEDING, she WATCHES ATTENTIVELY. Her ATTENTION CAPTURED, I CONTINUE speaking, that I may COMPLETE my JOKE.

"What did one plate say to the other?"

Ruukoto takes a MOMENT to answer, but ANSWER she DOES.

"What did the plate say to the other plate?"

Ruukoto played RIGHT into my HANDS. I WITHDREW my PLATE-HAND into my sleeve, then put my LEFT SLEEVE into my RIGHT SLEEVE. What happens NEXT is a TRADE SECRET, and therefore, the DETAILS are HIDDEN FROM THE READER.

I REMOVE from my sleeve the AFOREMENTIONED PLATE, only now adorned with a SANDSWICH of PEANUT BUTTERS and APPLE JELLYS.

"Lunch is on me!"

Ruukoto DOES NOT RESPOND for a good MOMENT. After SAID MOMENT passed, Ruukoto BEGINS GIGGLING, but not WEEPING in JOY. This means that my CURRENT GOAL has been ACHIEVED.

---

After a BRIEF LUNCH BREAK, I have BEGUN MARCHING with the CART in TOW. Ruukoto is FINISHING OFF what is LEFT of her SANDSWHICH from the TOP of the CART.

Ruukoto is the ONLY WOMAN I've met that ACTUALLY MAKES the ONOMATOPOEIA 'Moh-guu, moh-guu~' when she CHEWS DAINTY BITES of FOODSTUFFS. I DON'T KNOW how to feel about this.

I CANNOT DECIDE if TAITO or CAVE are better.

I realize that I have NEVER PLAYED the PINSBALL.

I VERY MUCH ENJOYED eating that TASTY SANDSWHICH.

I spot a KAPPA crying over her hat, PERPETUALLY BOWING off to the side of the ROAD.

Judging by the LACK of HUMAN TRAFFIC, as well as the INCREASED amount of FAIRY TRAFFIC holding LEAVES and whispering about MOMMA' MIKO, we are NEAR THE STEPS to the HAKUREI SHRINE. It has been CONSIDERABLY LONGER than I thought.

-----

[ ] ASK RUUKOTO what she was doing out here.
[ ] HELP the KAPPA
[ ] RANDOMLY MOLEST a FAIRY.
[ ] HUG a RANDOM FAIRY
[ ] ASK RUUKOTO about that piece of paper.
[ ] THAT KAPPA cannot RESIST BOOTY GROPING.
[ ] QUESTION the STRONG URGE to GROPE we've SUDDENLY DEVELOPED.
>> No. 26266
[x] HUG a RANDOM FAIRY

Never not hugging faeries.
>> No. 26267
[x] RANDOMLY MOLEST a FAIRY.
>> No. 26268
[X] ASK RUUKOTO if she has a SUDDEN URGE to GROPE FAIRIES
[X] HELP the KAPPA
>> No. 26269
[X] HELP the KAPPA
>> No. 26270
[X] QUESTION the STRONG URGE to GROPE we've SUDDENLY DEVELOPED.
>> No. 26271
[X] ASK RUUKOTO what she was doing out here.
[X] HELP the KAPPA

KAPPAS=OATH FRIENDS.
>> No. 26272
[X] HELP the KAPPA
[X] HUG a RANDOM FAIRY

Daily dose of fairy.
>> No. 26273
[X] QUESTION the STRONG URGE to GROPE we've SUDDENLY DEVELOPED.
>> No. 26274
[ ] ASK RUUKOTO what she was doing out here.
>> No. 26275
Definitely gonna [x] Help the Kappa.

Might even add some of those second place votes just 'cuz!

Update when written!
>> No. 26276
File 144833322978.jpg - (17.08KB, 400x400, kappa bowl.jpg) [iqdb]
26276
I, FUN TIMES NO FUTO, realize that LEAVING a CRYING MAIDEN, YO-KAI or NO, is ENTIRELY UNBECOMING of a GENTLEMAN such as MYSELF. THEREFORE, I HALT my DETERMINED MARCH to the shrine. I'm certain to let Ruukoto know that I am TAKING a SMALL REST to AID a TRAVELER IN NEED. Ruukoto DROPS from the TOP of the FOOD CART, LANDING on the path with a LOUD, MECHANICAL and VERY DEEP 'CHEH-BWOAH' NOISE.

"I'll provide what assistance I can, Master Mistress Mononobe."

Though I would like VERY MUCH to CORRECT her, there are MORE PRESSING maters at hand.

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS.

I PUT OUT my HAND. WITHIN my hand is a LOLISPOP.

It is not more than THREE SECONDS before I YANK BACK my hand to find a FAIRY attached to my LOLISPOP by her TEETH. She is BLONDE, HALF of my HEIGHT, LIGHT as a BREATH on your HAND on a COLD WINTER'S MORN, and PERFECTLY SQUEEZABLE.

CUDDLING FAIRY ACQUIRED, I turn my attention to the MORE PRESSING MATTER at hand.

The POOR, HELPLESS KAPPA is BOWING POLITELY. Her KAPPA CAP is lying IN the DIRT. There is a SMALL PUDDLE in the cap, but the SURROUNDING DIRT is DRIER THAN TOJIKO'S SENSE OF HUMOR. With her CAP on the GROUND, the KAPPA'S BOWL is exposed. There s only a COUPLE OF DROPS of WATER in the KAPPA'S BOWL, due to the ANGLE the bowl is CURRENTLY AT, and allowing the KAPPA to WEEP, MOAN and NO MORE. The kappa is WEEPING PITEOUSLY to herself. She is SURPRISINGLY INTELLIGIBLE for a girl who is WEEPING HARD ENOUGH to potentially FILL her BOWL TEN TIMES OVER. She spake THUSLY;

"-don' wanna starve, I don' wanna' die here, I don' wanna' die here, somebody help, somebody help, please, I don' wanna' starve to death, somebody please-"

THIS PLEADING did NOT appear to have a CONCEIVABLE END.

I STROKE THE HAIR of the FAIRY in my arms, then WITHOUT WARNING, I SQUEEZE her RUMP PINCH her CHEEK on her FACE.

The SUDDEN URGE to pinch both the FAIRY's REAR and the KAPPA's CONSIDERABLY HEALTHIER REAR is MUCH STRONGER than it LIKELY SHOULD BE.

The MOMENT I give it a PROPER THOUGHT, however, it RECEDES to a NORMAL LEVEL of GROPE-OSITY, which is to say that my desire to GROPE is NO LONGER CRUSHING my COMMON SENSE.

In the TIME it TOOK for me to EXAMINE MY URGES, the little fairy had BEGUN CRYING tears of HONEYED SUGAR WATER. WITHOUT releasing her CHEEK, I HOLD THE FAIRY'S HEAD over the KAPPA'S CAP.

It should be noted that fairies RARELY CRY without some OTHER RACE CAUSING them to cry. When they DO, however, they produce MORE TEARS than should be conceivably PRODUCIBLE by such TINY, ADORABLE BODIES. Therefore, in a matter of TWO MINUTES does the KAPPA'S CAP FILL with the TEARS OF A FAIRY. TASK COMPLETE, I hand the CRYING FAIRY to RUUKOTO, who IMMEDIATELY begins to COMFORT the FAIRY.

The kappa is SO ABSORBED with her own MISERY that she HAS NOT YET NOTICED that she has GUEST. She YELPS WITH SURPRISE when I PLACE my HANDS on her HIPS. She says SOMETHING about NOT BEING READY before I TUG BACKWARD to cause her to FALL on her RUMP.

As the kappa QUESTIONS what is OCCURRING AROUND HER and the CIRCUMSTANCES THEREOF, I LIFT her CAP GINGERLY. Upon seeing her CAP FILLED with LIQUID, the KAPPA begins CRYING ANEW, UNABLE to utter any words aside from THANK, YOU, and SOMUCH.

I FIRST pour the TEARS into her CAP, making CERTAIN not to SPILL ANY on the DIRT. THEN, when the cap is MOSTLY EMPTY, I PLACE IT upon the poor KAPPA'S HEAD.

It takes a GOOD MOMENT before the KAPPA can STAND, but STAND she DOES. She then proceeds to HUG ME as TIGHTLY AS SHE COULD. While I do APPRECIATE the AFFECTION, the SEARING PAIN of being CRUSHED between arms TRAINED to push MEN of CONSIDERABLE WEIGHT is causing me CONSIDERABLE PAIN.

...

When NEXT I COME TO, I am greeted by the PLEASANT CHATTER of a MAID and FAIRY, interspersed by the OCCASIONAL SOBBING of a KAPPA and the SQUEAKING of OLD CART WHEELS and the CHBWEE'S of a GIANT ROBOT'S FOOTSTEPS. There is an EXCESS of LIQUID on my face. It is NOT CLEAR if the liquid is TEARS or RAIN.

In order to ASCERTAIN WHICH, I remain QUIET. As I DO SO, I hear RUUKOTO answering a QUESTION.

"... been gathering things on this list for my master. I was cleaning up master's room one day when I found this list in a locked cabinet in a a scroll labeled 'Diary, donut touch' written on it in English. Master never did learn her English properly... Or maybe she did... It has certainly been a long time since I've seen her, Mistress Williams. I do miss her terribly. I noticed that you fairies all seem to like her. Why is that? Tell me, what is she like now?"

BEFORE I can hear the fairy's ANSWER, I COME to the CONCLUSION that the fact that the LIQUID is on my FACE and NOWHERE ELSE, and that my apparent state of MOTION, despite my NOT MOVING MY BODY, tells me that the LIQUID applying itself TO MY FACE is, in fact, TEARS. I OPEN my EYES.

The FIRST THING I see is the FACE of the CRYING KAPPA. Her EYES widen in SURPRISE. She CALLS OUT to the OTHERS.

"Ruukoto, Grogar! She's awake! She's finally awake!"

The KAPPA turns BACK to ME. She ALREADY appears to be CRYING IN JOY.

"Master! I thought I'd killed you! Thank all the god's you're still alive!"

While I CERTAINLY FEEL like I DIED, it occurs to me that the KAPPA just called me MASTER.

---

I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, am SITTING ON THE CART as a CRYING KAPPA and a BLISSFULLY CONFUSED FAIRY give me the FOURTH STRONGEST HUG I've ever FELT.

We are ABOUT to CLIMB THE STEPS of the HAKUREI SHRINE, a LONG WALK to be CERTAIN, and BUMPY with the CART.

The FAIRY is named GROGAR WILLIAMS. She CLAIMS to be the FAIRY of SNAKE PITS. She has RED HAIR and speaks BROKEN JAPANESE. I get the FEELING that she is a FOREIGNER FAIRY, which is WEIRD because NIPPON is the ONLY COUNTRY with FAIRIES, or SO I'VE BEEN TOLD.

RUUKOTO is PULLING THE CART with ONE HAND with NO APPARENT EFFORT. She is FAWNING OVER that SCRAP OF PAPER again.

The KAPPA is STILL CRYING and HUGGING ME. I DO NOT know her NAME. I should ASK about that.

It occurs to me that I have THREE CUTE GIRLS practically IN MY LAP. My nipples are ROCK HARD, and the MAID isn't even UP HERE.

My LIBIDO should NOT be THIS HIGH. HERMITS don't get this EXCITED about events THIS TRIVIAL. Something is AMISS.

I have 3 WADOKAICHIN in my RIGHT SLEEVE. I must ACQUIRE MORE MONEY.

I have ACQUIRED a TASTE for WESTERN CLASSICAL MUSIC recently.

I am MISSING my LEFT SHOE.

[ ] Where's my SHOE?
[ ] Hug the GIRLS.
[ ] Ask about that SCRAP OF PAPER.
[ ] WHO are you KAPPA?
- [ ] Nitori, Head of Reaserch Institute
- [ ] Shitore, Head of Shirikodama Collection
- [ ] Write-intori, Head of Write-In Collective
[ ] Grogar? What kind of name is that?
[ ] Why are we so damn horny? We're a hermit!
[ ] PRAISE OUR LORD PRINCE

- - [ ] Take a peek at the story we're avoiding

or

- - [ ] Marisa has a Nightmare

[ ] Kiss the Kappa
[ ] Offer Shirikodama to Kappa
[ ] Make fairy cry
- [ ] Drink her tears

Only THREE choices a VOTE, no MORE, no LESS.

On SECOND THOUGHT, LESS is ACCEPTABLE.

Just NOT MORE. MORE than three is NOT RECOMMENDED by your LOCAL DOCTOR.

-----

I'll be honest, I don't even know what I'm typing half of the time
>> No. 26277
[x] Hug girls
[X] Why am I so goddamm horny?
[X] Who are you Kappa?
-[x] Mitori, forbidden Kappa of terrible OCs
[x] Grogar?
If a SHADY LUNATIC DOCTOR claims that THREE is the right choice, I'm sure as hell picking FOUR.

They are in ORDER OF PREFERENCE though.
>> No. 26278
[x] Hug the GIRLS.
[x] Grogar? What kind of name is that?
[x] Why are we so damn horny? We're a hermit!
>> No. 26281
[X] Hug the GIRLS.
[X] WHO are you KAPPA?
- [X] Nitori, Head of Reaserch Institute
[X] Why are we so damn horny? We're a hermit!
>> No. 26283
[x] Hug girls
[X] Why am I so goddamm horny?
[X] Who are you Kappa?
-[x] Mitori, forbidden Kappa of terrible OCs
>> No. 26284
[X] Hug the GIRLS.
[X] WHO are you KAPPA?
- [X] Nitori, Head of Reaserch Institute
[X] Why are we so damn horny? We're a hermit!
>> No. 26285
[X] Where's my SHOE?
[X] WHO are you KAPPA?
- [X] Nitori, Head of Reaserch Institute
- - [X] Take a peek at the story we're avoiding
>> No. 26286
File 144839845316.png - (39.82KB, 271x346, STEEL.png) [iqdb]
26286
[x] Hug girls
[X] Why am I so goddamm horny?
[X] Who are you Kappa?
-[x] Mitori, forbidden Kappa of terrible OCs

You could be the only story on earth with Mitori in it. Though there's probably a very, very good reason why that is the case.
>> No. 26287
File 144840995926.png - (535.63KB, 1280x1024, 18b4d3eb506c2573186da70a39fc1060.png) [iqdb]
26287
[x] Hug girls
[X] Why am I so goddamm horny?
[X] Who are you Kappa?
-[x] Mitori, forbidden Kappa of terrible OCs

Why the hate? At least, uh, her theme is interesting. The stage theme is better though.
>> No. 26288
>>26287
Her theme is a remix of this, I believe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBM_jzRPseA
>> No. 26289
File 144844229431.jpg - (59.27KB, 566x820, awooisallwaifu.jpg) [iqdb]
26289
As much as I love just working with ties, I don't think it would be wise to make...

...


...
..
.
.
.
.


Oh my fucking god, writefag just had a GNARLY idea.

You all get a Ghost Awoo as thanks, I'll get to brainstorming!

VOTES CALLED!!!

The WINNING VOTES are!

[X] Group hug!
[X] Question Burgeoning, Swelling Libido
[X] The Kappa is
- [X] Mitori?
or
- [X] Nitori?

Wish me luck!

Lord knows I'm gonna' need it.


>>26285
You. I like you. You have your priorities straight. We have a bird babe to woo, and we're nowhere near her. You get that.

>>26277
And you? You took the line, put one foot on it, then started tap dancing all over it.

I like that too.
>> No. 26290
File 144853708034.jpg - (21.15KB, 376x262, rocketpunch.jpg) [iqdb]
26290
I, MAGNIFICENT NO FUTO, ask the KAPPA her NAME, though I could PROBABLY GUESS by this point, as I have ENGAGED in TRULY CHALLENGING FISTICUFFS with this kappa MULTIPLE TIMES.

This does NOT, however, mean I have LEARNED NOT to ASK THAT by now.

"Th' name's Nitori... You know, you're kinda' cute, master..."

That was NOT the GRANDIOSE INTRODUCTION and STATEMENT of EVERY SINGLE TITLE SHE HOLDS that I was EXPECTING. In fact, it was the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I was expecting. A COMPLIMENT, however, is a COMPLIMENT, and I ACCEPT it GRACEFULLY, even as the kappa's HAND reaches UNDER MY SKIRT. And the other three girls AGREE.

"Mistress does have a..." Ruukoto calls from the FRONT of the CART, "certain charm to her..."

"Me. Like. Sleeves." Grogar GETS her POINT across JUST FINE, though she EMPHASIZES by sticking her HAND INSIDE the leftmost of the mentioned SLEEVES.

I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, feel SPOILED by all this PRAISE. I THEREFORE, wrap my ARMS around the girls in my LAP, and-

- I am BLINDED.

WHY am I BLINDED?

I TAKE a MOMENT to EXAMINE my current SITUATION.

I have a fairy FONDLING my SLEEVE and COOING SUGGESTIVE NONSENSE into it.

I have a KAPPA GROPING my REAR and WHISPERING about ASS BALLS into my EAR, which is, in and of itself, INCREDIBLY WORRYING, even taken OUT OF CONTEXT.

Ruukoto is STILL PULLING the CART.

Therefore, I can NOT identify the HAND currently UNDER my SHIRT and PLAYING with my TRAINING BRA, NOR can I identify the FABRIC in front of my FACE.

I SCREAM in TERROR LET OUT a MIGHTY WAR CRY.

The FAIRY LEAPS into the AIR, REFLEXIVELY firing BOUNCING BULLETS into the TREES. The KAPPA JOLTS in surprise, then her EYES WIDEN in ABJECT HORROR. She PULLS BACK with a YELP.

The cart STOPS as Ruukoto HOVERS in the air, supported by some kind of ROCKETS located INSIDE her FEET and BACK, aiming her CLENCHED FIST at a point DIRECTLY in FRONT of ME. Her EYES GLOW GREEN.

"Two Foreign Objects detected. One parasite and one corpse confirmed. Sentience detected. State your business."

The MYSTERY OBJECT preventing VISION in front of me REVEALS itself to be a NICE HAT as a GIRL with an EYEBALL GROWING OUT OF HER sits back.

Before she can STATE her BUSINESS, I RECOGNIZE her.

I SCREAM in TERROR BELLOW a MIGHTY WAR CRY and DRAW from my RIGHT SLEEVE my most PRIZED POSSESSION and VALUABLE WEAPON! My MATCHBOOK PERSONAL POCKET FLAMES!

'Tis the VILE, LUSTFUL BEAST OF LIBIDO, KOISHI KOMEJI!

I am NO LONGER HOLDING MY-

"WHY am I NO LONGER HOLDING my MATCHBOOK?"

My ANSWER is GIVEN to me PROMPTLY in the FORM of the SMELL of SMOKE. Ruukoto's FIST are MISSING, and the SOCKETS her HANDS should be ATTACHED TO are EMPTY, SMOKING, HOLLOW and FILLED WITH METAL. Ruukoto SPEAKS, apparently UNFAZED by the UNNATURAL STATE of her ARMS.

"Fire and knives are dangerous, and will be taken as signs of aggression. I would ask that you cooperate, that we may be finished sooner. I repeat. Intruder, state your business."

WHAT DEVILRY IS THIS!?!?

---

I, MONONOBE NO FUTO, feel BETRAYED and CONFUSED. RUUKOTO is SOME FORM of NEW and UNIDENTIFIED YO-KAI made of OUTSIDER ROBOTS.

NITORI has STRIPPED DOWN to her SPANDEX SHORTS and is WHIPPING HERSELF in the SHELL with a RIDING CROP, chanting a BIZZARE SUTRA that was formed from the sounds 'I-took-a-vow." I HAVEN'T the FIRST CLUE where she PRODUCED a RIDING CROP FROM, NOR can I CONFIRM for CERTAIN that her MANTRA is in ENGLISH or NOT, as ENGLISH is an INFERIOR LANGUAGE to JAPANESE.

GROGAR is SHOOTING EVERYTHING THAT MOVES, though that is MOSTLY LEAVES. She seems to ENJOY THREE WORD SENTENCES where EVERY WORD is divided into its OWN SENTENCE.

The VILE HORN-DOG KOISHI KOMEJI is ON the VERGE of TEARS. Her MANIPULATION of SUBCONSCIOUS THOUGHT is the MOST LIKELY CAUSE for my ODDLY SWOLLEN LIBIDO. She is holding a STEEL GRAY MARBLE in one hand and a JOURNAL labled DO NOT LOOOK PROPERTY OF NITORI in the OTHER HAND. She APPEARS to be JUST as CONFUSED, if not MORE SO than I AM.

---

[ ] Why are you here?
- [ ] Why do you have that-
-- [ ] Diary?
-- [ ] Marble?
[ ] Calm down, Grogar.
- [ ] Seriously, why Grogar?
[ ] Took what vow?
- [ ] Got anymore toys?
[ ] Stand down, Ruukoto
- [ ] EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!
-- [ ] Your hands are missing, by the way.
--- [ ] No, seriously, where is my matchbook?

[ ] Comfort Libido Monster

(BONUS BITS)
-- [ ] Marisa has a Nightmare
-- [ ] STORY SNEAK PEEK
-- [ ] Pretty Flower Y VS. Pure Orange Maiden

YOUMU RECOMMENDS you only take THREE OPTIONS A DAY. Youmu is a CUTE GARDENER, therefore, you should LISTEN TO HER.

-----

Well, there we go! Everything covered!

Even the kappa choices
>> No. 26291
[X] Why are you here?
- [X] Why do you have that-
-- [X] Marble?

[X] Stand down, Ruukoto
- [X] EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!
-- [X] Your hands are missing, by the way.

-- [X] STORY SNEAK PEEK

This is obviously the fastest way we'll get to see pretty bird girl.
>> No. 26293
File 144855033296.jpg - (340.69KB, 328x901, 21e675f8f600edd9670746c6ded7dd1d.jpg) [iqdb]
26293
YOUMU OF THE KONPAKU, DAUGHTER OF THE HERMIT THAT NO ONE REMEBERS, you're TOO SOFT

You probably think the WRITEFAG can't take more than THREE CHOICES? Let me tell you, YOUMOE NO ONEESAMA, You UNDERESTIMSTE his RESOLVE.

[x] WHAT Marble
[x] WHERE Matches
[x] WHO Ruukoto
[x] WHY Grogar
>> No. 26294
[X] Why are you here?
- [X] Why do you have that-
-- [X] Marble?
[x] Took what vow?
- [x] Got anymore toys?
[x] Comfort Libido Monster
-- [x] Pretty Flower Y VS. Pure Orange Maiden
>> No. 26295
[x] WHAT Marble
[x] WHERE Matches
[x] WHO Ruukoto
[x] WHY Grogar
[x] WHEN Ten seconds ago
[x] HOW A stick of butter and a Moriya Shrine conspiracy
>> No. 26296
[X] Why are you here?
- [X] Why do you have that-
-- [X] Diary?
[X] Took what vow?
[X] Stand down, Ruukoto
- [X] EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!
-- [X] Your hands are missing, by the way.
>> No. 26297
[X] Why are you here?
- [X] Why do you have that-
-- [X] Diary?
[X] Stand down, Ruukoto
- [X] EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!
-- [X] Your hands are missing, by the way.
--- [X] No, seriously, where is my matchbook?
[X] Comfort Libido Monster
>> No. 26298
[x] Comfort Libido Monster
>> No. 26299
Looks like it's something about

-- [X] Why are you here with a Marble?

-- [X] Do you require comforting?

and

-- [X] Stand down Ruukoto! Explain yourself and your missing hands!

Updates when ready!

If I counted wrong, blame entirely avoidable exhaustion.




>>26293
>>26295

You've no idea what you've unleashed.
>> No. 26300
File 144931589369.jpg - (155.53KB, 800x1684, YESIAM.jpg) [iqdb]
26300
Update WILL be coming!

However, my mind keeps taking STRANGE MOODS and FOUL DIRECTION.

The update is HALFWAY COMPLETE, yet my mind SIMPLY REFUSES to produce for me a SATISFACTORY expression of WORDS.

In order to KEEP the CREATIVE JUICES flowing FREELY, I may begin a small series of MICRO FICS on the SIDE. But WORRY NOT! Our BELOVED DORK, who is BEAUTIFUL in her LEG-DOM, shall NOT be ABANDONED.

And, anon willing, NEITHER shall the HONORABLE FUJIWARA who is meeting with her [s]MO...[/]

Ahem.

And, anon willing, NEITHER shall the HONORABLE FUJIWARA who is meeting with her ETERNAL RIVAL.


In other words...

... I AM ALIVE!
>> No. 26301
>>26300
[x] Someone get this man some GRANITE BOULDERS, HORN HORN, HUMAN LEFT MIDDLE TOE, and RED BEAN PASTE. He's gonna be constructing A CHAIR MADE OF RED BEAN PASTE with spikes of HORN HORN, HUMAN LEFT MIDDLE TOE, and BANDS OF GRANITE.
161posts omitted. First 100 shown.
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