I must know.
Sailors are supposedly gruff, beard-bound terrors of the Sky, preying on any mermaid foolish enough to travel close to the sun, hardened by the many horrors that reside above the Surface.
Aside from the obviously missing beard, I must know.
The sailor looks at me slightly confused.
"Waht d' yea meahn 'haow'? Weh've nah' knohn' ehch oh'thr f'r mohr'n tehn mehnuts ah' mohst!"
I reiterate, for I must know.
"How are you so soft?"
NOW the Sailor looks more embarrassed than anything. Her ghostly pale face, along with everything above her collar, turned pink as a shrimp.
"Wha- I don't- I mean, I dohn'-"
Seeing my opportunity, I, the APPEX PREDATOR OF THE DEEP, take my chance!
"May I stroke you?"
The sailor takes a step back, clearly forgetting that she's holding me. I press the attack!
"You feel so... pleasant..."
I reach up and stroke the sailor's trembling face, her defenses lowered to the point of being fully exposed!
... this TEXTURE! So soft, like the finest mochi, pounded for weeks by the most beautiful virgin maidens of the moon! I can even tell you exactly what that texture feels like, since we've got at least one of them living a little swim upstream from my place who pounds mochi (if the rabbits are to be believed), so I can say with full confidence that that is EXACTLY what this sailor's cheek feels like!
Ignoring the rattling of my vision from the sailor's shaking arms, I lean forward and do the only logical thing someone can do when faced with something so unreasonably soft. Before I do, though, a thought occurs to me. I should make sure I won't die if I do what I'm planning, so I whisper softly in to the sailor's burning hot ear.
"Are you going to eat me, sailor?"
The captain doesn't respond, which must mean she won't, because if I learned anything from big sister Wakasagikotaishi-hi silence always means no!
Which means, it'd be safe to do this immediately after whispering that in the sailor's ear!
I take a gentle nibble of Murasa' cheek. My teeth don't sink in (though it'd be very, very easy with how amazingly soft her skin was), but the good captain flinches anywaaaaAAA-
With a loud thud, the captain fell backwards, taking me with her. Which, I might add, was surprising, but, thanks to the captain's overwhelmingly soft body, was also comfortable! Cushioned even!
I chew thoughtfully on the mochi in my mouth to find that it's filled with the weirdly delightful taste of extra salty takoyaki! An odd flavor for mochi, but somehow, it wo-
... I didn't have any mochi in my mouth.
I, Wakasagihime, have a startling confession to make!
I am actually a Wakasagi Mermaid, not a Blue Fish Tuna!
Startling, I know. But I wished SO DESPERATELY to look bigger that I just sort of... You know... Lied about my actually species...
Also, apparently, sailors taste like octopus mochi of the highest quality, since I accidently took a nibble out of the sailor when we fell down. And she's somehow not bleeding. Or even really doing anything but staring up at the sky in a blush-filled shock. For some odd reason. Strange.
[ ] Woah, are you okay Cap'n?
[ ] KISS OF LIFE! KISS OF LIFE!
[ ] K I S S O F L I F E ! ! !
[ ] So THAT'S what sailors taste like!
- [ ] Take ONE more little nibble, somewhere she can afford to lose a little bit of.
[ ] If she's just gonna' LIE there, why don't we feel if she's soft all over?
[ ] Collectively pound your utensils on the table while chanting "WE WANTGOHEI BLOWJOB!"
- [ ]You goddamn degenerates
Youmu, having switched from her naked apron to a pair of pale green cutoffs and an oddly familiar and strangely disappointing-looking belt-for-a-shirt with a ring in the middle, prances around the stage as she finishes her latest musical number. As the crowd goes wild, she bows.
Then, turning off the stereo (and, by extension, the cheering crowd), she turns to the camera.
"Dearest fans, thank you! Thank you so kindly for staying true to my conditions. Most of you, anyway. It is only thanks to your faith and purity that we could still continue, even as budget cuts cause the energy to occasionally cut out!"
Even as she speaks, the camera shuts off. Her voice, however, is still easily heard, for some reason.
"I've decided to let your precious mermaid live! However, one must remember to follow the rules! If one doesn't, I may just have to..."
There's a pause, then a mildly-threatening and equally-arousing giggle.
"... take over."
The camera flickers back to life to reveal Youmu talking animatedly about how ring-belt-shirts are CLEARLY the newest fashion, and that every girl in Gensokyo should try, as she tries to demonstrate the merits of such a choice in clothing by inserting an eggplant in to the ring in her belt-shirt (which, sadly, simply fell right out, as a wall does not hold things).
Murasa ain't hurt bad. It's just a nibble.
This should serve to entertain as I work on the actual update.