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File 133596854796.jpg - (161.24KB , 640x480 , okami-dog.jpg ) [iqdb]
8986 No. 8986
Because the old one will reach autosage.
And I wanted to use that picture anyway.

No. 8987
Then I'll start.

Judging at his old works in FF.net and his posts of Spacebattles, Kahi doesn't deserve writing a Harry Potter fic. He hates HP (not in a traditional sense but more in a mocking sense). Then again, he hails from Spacebattles so that's not really a surprise.
No. 8988
>>8987
Why would someone write a crossover involving something they don't like?
No. 8989
>>8987
>doesn't deserve
Who the fuck cares. It's just HP. And he has a good writing pace so he can write whatever the hell he wants.
No. 8990
>>8989
Good writing pace doesn't mean a good story. Do you know how many shitty fanfics spawn in FF.net everyday?

>>8988
Why, because they can use the other series they crossover to mock it, of course.

I really think you need a tour of Spacebattles to understand that concept.
No. 8991
>>8988
Or you could just look at Twilight crossover fics at FF.net. Chances are, most of them involves bashing Twilight, which seems like a really cool thing to do nowadays. Heck, there's even a story about how Remilia pwns the Cullens.
No. 8992
>>8990
>Why, because they can use the other series they crossover to mock it, of course.
I totally and absolutely fail to understand the point of this.
No. 8993
How do I call the writer of 'Don't read this!' and 'Do the right thing'? As far as I know, he's nameless.

I'm angry at myself for being so out-of-the-loop in THP matters. Should I give that horrible chat one more try? ...let's not.
No. 8994
I'm angry at ZUN for saying that we should hide the endings from people who hasn't played the games.
I suck at them and can only get normal endings and I want to watch them all, including extra endings.

Fuck you all, I will google them.
No. 8995
>>8990
>Good writing pace doesn't mean a good story
Good is subjective. He has a lot of fans HERE so his stories are doing its work.
No. 8996
>>8991
I don’t give a bird’s shit about Harry Potter, or Twilight, or Kahi, or whoever the god damned else, but
>pwns
this rustles my jimmies. You either fucking stop it and swear never to use the word again, or we’ll talk on different terms. Where “terms” stand for a variety of very nasty torture devices, including (but not exclusively) a band of ass-pissed Spaniard teenagers singing DEPORTIVO ALE under your balcony at 3 in the morning.

Unless you’re 12-16 years old, in which case, carry right on. You’ll be ashamed of yourself soon enough.
No. 8997
>>8996
To be fair, I think he was trying to be ironic. You have a point that the "word" shouldn't be used, though.
No. 8998
Sorry, what is Spacebattles? Is this one of those questions of which I'll regret knowing the answer of?
No. 8999
>>8996
Well, duh, I was being ironic. Should've used double quotes there.

Besides, why so angry, YAF?
No. 9000
>>8998
Just another forum on the internet.
No. 9001
>>9000
Congratulations.
No. 9003
>>9001
Let's not go there.
No. 9005
I have to rage at making the spellcard system make things into "just" a game. Sure, spellcard duels aren nonlethal, but Nanoha's magic is also nonlethal, and nobody's calling that "just a game". Among most absurd extensions of this that I've found is a story where Sakuya has both normal knives and the ability to project danmaku knives made of energy. This is clearly counterfactual as Sakuya states several in Perfect Cherry Blossom that she's using physical knives in the game's various spellcard duels, but it's also patently absurd. Also, though spellcard duels themselves are lethal, their consequences may not be. "If victorious against a human, you may not kill them." That's from Perfect Memento's draft of the spellcard rules. Do you see anything about not killing youkai there? What about not doing other things to humans? I mean nobody does anyway, but it's not technically because of the rules. After all even during the PC-98 era, which had no such rules, Reimu and Marisa usually let defeated enemies walk away.

And that's not even getting into the confusion between the danmaku system and the spellcard rules. They've been confused more times than I can count. Here's how it is. Danmaku involves throwing and dodging large numbers of bullets and stuff, whereas spellcard rules mandate reduced-power attacks with names. The PC-98 games use danmaku without spellcard rules, whereas the fighting games use spellcard rules without being primarily danmaku.

My point is that danmaku is not the same as spellcard dueling, and spellcard duels aren't "just" a game, although they can certainly be a game. So the phrase "danmaku is just a game" that appears in some form or other on most of the stories on this site that actually bother to incorporate danmaku kind of pisses me off.
No. 9006
>>9001
For what?
No. 9007
>>9005
You're just overthinking things. It's not good for enjoying fiction, you know.
No. 9009
File 133597804146.jpg - (21.72KB , 438x410 , Hahaha.jpg ) [iqdb]
9009
>>9005
It's because people are confusing danmaku and spellcards.
Spellcards are just a game.
Danmaku are something else.


Hell, danmaku is supposed to be "curtain fire". There's nothing funny about being bombarded. People are just assuming that "lol danmaku is japanese so its spellcard its the same thing lol XD". Except that it's not. Danmaku is what the Touhou games are about. Lots of bullets everywhere. That's what, we players, are seeing.
Spellcards are what characters see. For them, it's just a game.

That's what I think.
No. 9016
>>8987
At least it's not as bad as this.

---------------------------

My apologies,

I refuse to return to that realm. I found a better home here in Gensōkyō, under the loving protection of my new mother figure, Yukari Yakumo. I implore you to never darken my life again, Albus (Too Many Silly Middle Names) Dumbledore.

Harī

=0=0=0=0=

Harī finished writing the rather dead-cold threat, before a gap opened before him, and he tosses the letter into it, the ribbons giving way as it seals itself shut. In the backyard, Ran was giving chase after Chen, who was using the Hogwarts owl as a chew-toy (of course, its dead).

"I doubt this is the last we heard of that human wizard," Yukari spoke, sipping the tea Harī beforehand prepared for her.

"I hope to shove Danmaku down his fork-tongued throat if he dares attempt something," Harī mutters, never forgiving the shit that man did in order to control him.

He learned about Dumbledore's true dark intentions with his life when Yukari Yakumo rescued him from a life of abuse at the age of 5. Only five years of abuse, but it had already jaded his soul and darkened his overall look on life. Dumbledore had intentionally allowed Peter Pettigrew to escape in order to have his parents murdered, sent an innocent man to death to remove anybody from challenging his power, and manipulated the strings that was his life. All until Yukari took him away and cut those strings off his soul, his life magic, and most importantly, his heart. The shard soul he let festers in order to also control him was destroyed easily thanks to the combined efforts of the Touhou girls. He was the only human from another border world (aside the humans that exist in Gensōkyō) to exist in the Gensōkyō realm.

He is also the only other human whose uniqueness of Danmaku usage, Gensōkyō Magic, and his world's life energy brought a unique power that even intrigues Flandre (and thus was allowed to exist when she was around; although she was developing a love interest in him).

"No worries, Harī," Yukari tells him, "if he tries anything, then a small hard grope of his heart would convince the man otherwise."

Harī smiled darkly at that.
No. 9017
>>9016
>Harī
>Gensōkyō
YEAH LET'S ADD MOAR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EVERYWHERE BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!

Seriously now, I can understand why there's one on Gensokyo, but Hari is clearly not a japanese name.
Unless we're talking about a fanmade character being called Hari and having a teacher named Dumbledore by pure coincidence.

Jesus, you know what? I fucking give up. I don't know where you took that shit from, but it's so full of crap that I don't even want to think about it.
No. 9018
>>9016
>human
>uniqueness of danmaku usage
No. What're Marisa and a dozen other characters, especially PC-98 ones? Chopped liver?

>the only human from another border world
Yumemi and Chiyuri were here, Harry Potter is a loser.

>"Gensōkyō Magic"
Not everything in Gensokyo is magic...Like Yukari's powers, they're not magic, nor are those of Yuuka or of most youkai really. They're youkai power, divine power, occasionally technological power, and I don't even know what all else.

>combined efforts of "the Touhou girls"
As if. Also, too vague. Also, they are not "the Touhou girls".

>combined efforts of the Touhou girls were needed to get a shard of Voldemort's soul out
HA HA HA no.

>Gensōkyō
Surprisingly, this is an acceptable, if nonstandard, Romanization. The line over the o shows that it's a long vowel. Modern English has lost its long vowels, but Japanese still has them.

>Harī
Wait, what? Take back that part about the clever Romanization, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. The IPA for this is approximately hɑɹiː, and it can be loosely pronounced "hah-reeee". (The ee is duplicated because it's a long vowel.) That sounds like an idiot saying "Harry", which I guess it is.

>intrigues Flandre (and thus was allowed to exist when she was around; although she was developing a love interest in him)
>Flandre kills most other people on sight
No.

>Flandre intrigued by Harry Potter
>Flandre developing a love interest
>IN HARRY POTTER OF ALL PEOPLE
WHAT. THIS IS AN EYESORE.

>Chen, who was using the Hogwarts owl as a chew-toy (of course, its dead)
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO CHEN
Also.
CHEN'S MOUTH ISN'T THAT BIG
Also.
THAT OWL WAS INNOCENT WHY DID YOU KILL IT
Also.
>the Hogwarts owl
Which one?

>Basic premise is that Harry Potter is abducted from the Dursleys by Yukari
>Also Dumbledore is mustache-twirlingly evil and was responsible for the half of the crap in Harry Potter's life that he wasn't responsible for
A) Yukari's not that benevolent. She eats people and stuff.
B) More importantly. THIS IS INCREDIBLY STUPID

This story is an eyesore. It should disappear.
No. 9020
>>9005
It's used in a traditionally not so hostile situations with only some smack talk.

Go to some other fandom if you want cool, edgy stuff, like the MLP fandom as I heard such stories are all the rage over there.
No. 9021
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9021
>>8993
>>How do I call the writer of 'Don't read this!' and 'Do the right thing'? As far as I know, he's nameless.

That depends. Are you asking how to contact him, or how you should refer to him name-wise?

If it's the latter, I'd say you already answered your own question. Since you can't call someone by their name when they have no such name to call them by, the simplest thing to do is just call them by the thing they do.

If it's the former, well, that's a little more complicated:

At the stroke of midnight, stand inside your darkened bathroom and stare into the mirror. Wait until your eyes adjust to the darkness. Without blinking or breaking eye-contact with your reflection, anoint both the mirror and yourself with the mixture of Mountain Dew and bacon grease that you should have prepared beforehand while reciting the lyrics of Europe's 'The Final Countdown', going back to the first verse once you hit the point where the song would normally begin to fade out. After three repetitions of this, you should hear a tap on the window nearest to you. Wait for an additional three taps, in rapid succession, followed by a fourth and final tap before opening the window. Any other number of taps is a sign of trickery, and the ritual should be terminated immediately.
Once opened, you will find a pigeon sitting upon your windowsill. From its tail, pluck a single feather, and affix it to the center of your front door with the adhesive of your choice. Then, go to sleep. When you awaken, look to the west, and He shall be there.

Or you could, you know, just post in his thread. That works, too.
No. 9025
>>9016
Pretty much everything >>9018 said. Need sauce on this piece of shit.
No. 9026
>>9025
It's from FF.net. Do you want to know more?
No. 9032
File 133601350273.jpg - (25.40KB , 210x400 , ICE.jpg ) [iqdb]
9032
>>9021
Hi. I'm still waiting for the fourth tap while posting this, but I was actually asking for his name. Guess I'll still address you, I mean, him, by 'The writer of DTRT'
Thanks.
No. 9035
>>9020
My issue is not so much the calling spellcard duels a game in general (since the duels can be a game) as it is that it's often completely disregarded as anything but a game. It's a tool for resolving conflicts too, and it's a core aspect of the setting that should not be disregarded. Also, the absurdity with Sakuya's fake knife danmaku accounted for some of my rage.
And as for traditionally being used in not-so-hostile contexts, uh, no. It's used anytime anyone wants to fight anyone else, which does include less hostile contexts but also extremely hostile contexts, like the various climactic battles of PCB, SA and SWR.
No. 9036
>>9032
You could call him by his tripcode, "!H8UfLAg.DQ".
No. 9037
>>9036
I've always called him Hate You in my head. Cause the first part of his tripcode is that, see.
No. 9038
>>9035
It's hard to tell how hostile those things were as most talk during incidents are far more exaggerated than the true meaning.

Do I really need to bring up Sakuya's supposed death in EoSD again or Yuyuko "eating" mystia in IN?
No. 9039
>>9035
You seem obsessed with Sakuya's knives.
No. 9042
>>9038
Yuyuko was trying to break the seal on an evil youkai cherry tree of death (and very nearly does it), and Utsuho had gone mad with power and wanted to burn everything. I'm not sure what's there to exaggerate. Tenshi had already wrecked the shrine at least once, which is one poorly placed shrine maiden away from killing Reimu and breaking Gensokyo, and the last three people to wreck the shrine all got sealed in the shed behind it.
(Granted, the third escaped pretty quickly.)

Yuyuko eating Mystia, who reappeared later, could be explained as a joke or a trick, the Ghost Team path not being canon, or as youkai resurrecting more slowly than fairies as several writers on this site have had in their stories. As for Sakuya's supposed death...I have no honest idea. Even in the most potentially dangerous interpretation of spellcard rules, Sakuya should have been safe from being killed. Perhaps ZUN hadn't written the spell card rules yet, or maybe Reimu was bluffing. (Recall that Reimu initially thought Remilia was a weak, sheltered type, and Sakuya was her last line of defense.)
No. 9043
>>9042
again with getting sealed in the shrine thing, that isn't referenced anywhere and the PC-98 section on the ending wiki is untranslated.

I will not believe that until you bring hard proof.
No. 9044
>>9039
Sakuya being able to both throw thousands of normal knives outside of spellcard duels and thousands of knives made out of danmaku energy just for spellcard duels makes no sense since she can throw enough normal knives to use as danmaku. Especially since every time we've seen her throw knives in canon it's been under spellcard rules, so if she were throwing danmaku knives, what says she's able to throw normal ones? If it were a lethality thing, that she couldn't use her normal knives because she might kill someone, let me make note that getting run over by a subway train is nonlethal in a spellcard duel.

It was a minor flaw in a rather good story, but somehow that flaw just grated on me, to the point of rage.
No. 9046
>>9044
in the shooting games it's hard to tell if they're real or not (as a few other characters have similar projectiles) but in the fighters you'll see them bounce away harmlessly.

Though one might figure Sakuya might know how to throw energy knives to attack beings with a higher physical defense.
No. 9047
>>9043
Forgive me. I'm saying something about the endings of HRTP and SoEW. Don't read it.
Highly Responsive to Prayers' ending doesn't have any text to translate.
In HRTP's endings and Story of Eastern Wonderland's good endings, you can see the door to the shed being shut and Reimu slapping a seal on it. It's the same animation in both games, and the SoEW ending explicitly says Mima was sealed in that animation.
Since that animation was the same between HRtP and SoEW, I'm assuming that in HRtP, the one responsible for the incident was sealed just as Mima was.
No. 9048
>>9046
In PCB Sakuya acknowledges that they are real by saying they're silver. You can't make energy weapons out of silver.
Using energy knives against high-defense enemies is...plausible. But that wouldn't mean she'd use them in spellcard duels by default, which is what set me off.
Also, pretty much everyone in the fighting games is either using some sort of barrier or doesn't need to, so it's expected that most stuff won't penetrate, and why would an energy knife bounce? Unless I'm mistaken, most other projectiles just sort of dissipate on hit.

But having the knives be specifically energy or physical wasn't the source of my rage, which was caused more by the misinterpretation of spellcard rules which would lead to energy knives for spellcard duels and normal ones for an "anything else" that never appears in canon. I'd be raging less if it were written such that Sakuya only wielded danmaku knives.
No. 9050
>>9048
Your rage makes anon's rage at Kahi seem reasonable.
No. 9051
>>9050
Well, I'm happy to at least be a measuring stick.
No. 9069
>>8927
That was beautiful.

You know things have gotten really bad if friggin' Marisa is doubting her usual incident solving method (beating the shit out of the culprit) since your efforts from the previous game meant nothing in resolving the problem.

It's like the writer is channeling Kira/Teruyo or something.

This is why the humans should never get a leader, folks.
No. 9077
Things that will make a Touhou fan rage:

-No sir, I don't like Touhou
-Like FFVII I hate the fans even more than the game, especially their Touhou memes
-The art of Touhou sucks. Like Higurashi VN-level sucks
-The stories and characters are shallow and a lot of what's wrong with anime to the point that fans have been able to canonically change the personalities of characters in the past
-The gameplay is meh. Modern Touhou is more of a boss rush than a shmup, and bullet patterns aren't as innovative or interesting as inventing whole new boss battles and styles like classic boss rush games (Gunstar Heroes, Contra Hard Corps, Alien Soldier, etc). Also sprites of animu characters are far less visually interesting than well-rendered Cave-quality enemy battleships/fish
-I like the music but it suffers from bad MIDI instrumentation. Imperishable Night is my favorite OST. ZUN created Team Shanghai Alice as a way to keep making music and Touhou was just a wrapper and it shows
-There are far, far better shmups out there that get overlooked because of all the memes. And its annoying much like beginning anime fans who have only seen DBZ/Naruto/Bleach/Inuyasha/etc
-By extension of hatred of the mythos of the series and the fans, I dislike Touhou doujin games. How 'bout making something original instead of copying a bad series? I would've jumped at a Lolo-esque game if it wasn't Touhou themed
No. 9078
>>9077

Eh, if they want to make doujin games based off Touhou, it's their choice.
No. 9079
>>9077
>Imperishable Night is my favorite OST.
No troll intended, but what's wrong with that one?
No. 9080
>>9077
Honestly, most of these seem understandable enough (ZUN art, meme stupidity, shallow story) and/or subjective (gameplay, IN OST).
No. 9087
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9087
Nobody insults ZUN's art, nobody!

Seriously, I think ZUN's art has a certain charm to it. And it's certainly not as bad as Higurashi's art.
No. 9089
>>9087
You know what we need? Ryukishi's story, with ZUN's music, and TYPE-MOON's art.
No. 9092
>>9087
>Things that will make a Touhou fan rage:
Not going to rage, but I'll reply calmly point-by-point.

>No sir, I don't like Touhou
Okay, that's fine. But why are you on a Touhou fansite if you don't like it?

>Like FFVII I hate the fans even more than the game, especially their Touhou memes
I admit some of the memes have gotten out of hand, like the yukkuris. But all fandoms contain a certain number of idiots.
Also, why do you specify "Touhou" memes? Are there any other kind of memes related to Touhou?

>The art of Touhou sucks. Like Higurashi VN-level sucks
It's not quite that bad. ZUN actually can draw fingers. The bullets are well-drawn at least, and that's most of what you'll be looking at during gameplay.

>The stories and characters are shallow and a lot of what's wrong with anime to the point that fans have been able to canonically change the personalities of characters in the past
I'm not sure you have a properly composed sentence here. Specifically "a lot of what's wrong with anime" seems to be in the wrong place.
Anyway, the characters are supposed to be up to some interpretation, which is probably better than adding a ton of dialogue to what should be rather fast-paced games. You know in UFO the characterization is different based on your shot type?
They have a story that's more than "there are aliens/enemy planes/whatever, you must shoot them". That's more plot than a lot of shmups.
There is a lot of fan interaction in Touhou. The main character is a shrine maiden because of fan reactions (see Reimu's profile from EoSD) and three of the canon games are technically fanmade. But it's not the lunatic memefest fans that ZUN adds stuff from, it's generally the more reasonable ones.

>The gameplay is meh. Modern Touhou is more of a boss rush than a shmup,
It's a shmup with a focus on bosses. The PC-98 shmup Touhou games were less focused on bosses.

>and bullet patterns aren't as innovative or interesting as inventing whole new boss battles and styles like classic boss rush games (Gunstar Heroes, Contra Hard Corps, Alien Soldier, etc).
I'll argue against that. Although making each boss battle completely different adds novelty, it results in less thought-out types of battles and less coherent gameplay. Look up the story of the fox and the cat.

>Also sprites of animu characters are far less visually interesting than well-rendered Cave-quality enemy battleships/fish
But, Cave's music is much worse than Touhou's music. And I put a lot more importance into game music quality than I do into graphics quality, especially in games where you're not looking at the graphics much because you're dodging boatloads of bullets. Like Touhou and Cave's games.
Also, Touhou is not an anime.

>I like the music but it suffers from bad MIDI instrumentation.
ZUNpets are awesome, what are you talking about?
Okay, I'll admit that the instruments aren't always the best, but they're better than default MIDI instruments. Anyway, I listen more to the notes than to the instruments.

>Imperishable Night is my favorite OST. ZUN created Team Shanghai Alice as a way to keep making music and Touhou was just a wrapper and it shows
ZUN may or may not have said that at one time, but I'm not sure if it's true or not at all times.
As for it showing, where? In the mostly irrelevant graphics?

>There are far, far better shmups out there that get overlooked because of all the memes.
What games do you mean, besides probably Ikaruga? (If it's "shmups", it can't just be Ikaruga.)
And bear in mind that I put more weight onto music and gameplay, and much less on graphics, than you seem to.

>And its annoying much like beginning anime fans who have only seen DBZ/Naruto/Bleach/Inuyasha/etc
What's annoying? This is not a complete sentence.

>By extension of hatred of the mythos of the series and the fans, I dislike Touhou doujin games. How 'bout making something original instead of copying a bad series? I would've jumped at a Lolo-esque game if it wasn't Touhou themed
Fangames are usually made because it's fun to program stuff, not to attract an audience. It's harder to come up with original characters and setting than it is to come up with other elements of plot and programming. Gensokyo is at the very least an established setting with a lot of established characters where a lot of weird things happen, and therefore many types of fangames can be set in it easily.



>>9089
And it's a danmaku visual novel?

That would probably be freaking awesome.
No. 9093
File 133608797351.png - (6.52KB , 201x199 , 1286537896492.png ) [iqdb]
9093
>>9089
>Ryukishi's story
No. 9095
>>9092
Yes. A danmaku visual novel where you can choose to fight and/or ignore the enemies, resulting in differents stories.

Or, even better, you're playing the murderer during the danmakus phases, and you're reading the stories through the eyes of the victims.
No. 9096
>>9089
>>9093
Hopefully meaning Higurashi-quality story, not Umineko-quality.
No. 9097
>>9092
>Okay, that's fine. But why are you on a Touhou fansite if you don't like it?

I copypasted it from some other site actually. Just too lazy to use greentext.
No. 9098
>>9096
>Hopefully meaning Higurashi-quality story, not Umineko-quality.
Oh COME ON! I freaking HATE Umineko, there's NO FREAKING WAY I'm going to recmmoned it!

God damn it, I'm so mad I'm mistyping. I loved every bit of Higurashi (HAHA PARANOIA), but Umineko is just bad. You don't feel concerned about the characters, there's no real horror (just more and more 'hey battler I tortured your father to death LOLOL U MAD'), and the writefag is just bringing more and more characters out of the blue, it's like saying 'you though you got this? Fuck you, I'm bringing another character'.
No. 9100
>>9098
Geez, it's just a VN, take it eas-
>Rage thread
oh

>>9097
Because it takes so much effort to type 8 brackets?
No. 9101
Scrolling past this thread is making me a little angry, but I don't want to hide it because the conversation might become interesting later.
No. 9102
>>9100
Uh huh. It's almost midnight when I got that. Just want to post it before going to sleep so that I could enjoy reading the replies now.
No. 9111
>>9095
There actually exists a game similar to that, from the Shiro no Shikigami (castle shikigami) series.

Who the hell thought putting a shump on the Wii was a good idea? They'd have better luck on the 360.
No. 9112
>>9111
Oh, the game with the hilarious Engrish translation?

>I like girls, but for now, it's time for justice!
No. 9125
>>9112
Yeah the second game localized has an engrish translation while the first localized (as Mobel Light Force 2) I'm not sure if it retained any dialogue at all.

No idea about how good CS3's translation is as it's on the Wii. But I'm under the impression the actual dialogue is more understandable/somewhat serious.

But a line from CS2's translation "Do you want to get caught then beaten or beaten then caught" reminds me of Marisa's line in IN about shooting and moving (though it's come to light that the patch translation may have some flaws)

The VN/Shump itself has never been released outside of japan.
No. 9161
File 133614312882.jpg - (52.01KB , 450x450 , even this makes more sense than the last four epis.jpg ) [iqdb]
9161
>>9089
So, let's see, an over-hyped, over-complicated plot that stumbles over itself and occasionally pauses to give way for a misogynist rant, an art style based on shiny coloring and nice poses but which forgoes basic understanding of proportion and anatomy, and music composed by someone who cannot envision harmony as anything but a mind-shattering succession of alternating octaves.

Sounds astonishing.
No. 9164
>>9161
>misogynist rant
Hu?
No. 9167
>>9093
(or lack thereof)
No. 9171
The hell's happening at Ddyk's short stories thread?

It's full of weird shit. Some anon have been spamming it with junk it seems.
No. 9173
>>9089
>>9092
>>9095
We're missing a critically important part here.

Who would do the programming?
No. 9177
>>9171
That wasn't Anon. Sorry. I'll see if I can lock it somehow.
No. 9247
I have a question for the writers in the board. What stories do you read?
If possible, do say what story you write or keep your name on. Thanks.
No. 9248
Where in the fucking blazes are Nobody and Bread? Write, you motherfuckers.
No. 9249
>>9247
Currently about none. I used to read The Word of One before nighties went MIA, but now I can’t bring myself back to reading it. I’m also trudging through Kaleidoscope Midnight (as it was the only Youmu story I could get out of the recommendations thread), but frankly it’s not doing a very good job of keeping me interested.
I may be lone in this, but I’m loath, loath to reading stories on a computer screen – my attention just drifts away and I can’t focus. I’d gladly read more stories if I could have an easy way of getting them onto my phone as e-books and read them that way. Then again, if I have time to read, I usually read books, so...
No. 9253
>>9247
Restorer in Gensokyo 2,5, A Wizard Is You, Do the Right Thing, Humanity of Gensokyo, "In The Forest, A Dancing Light", Shikigami of the Heart, Just an Average George, The Eldest Scarlet, A Wizard Foxes Thoughts, Chronograph, Wintertime Alchemist, An(other) excuse for Aya?, and Tenshi Is In This Story, and also Kindred Inalterable Dependancy, and that unamed Alice story on /underground/. And that's the active one.
And to answer your question, I'm the dude who writed FAG.
No. 9255
>>9247
/th/: RiG, Wizard, Knight (I'm hoping Karesh comes back), Business and bullets, Drei's infernal story, Tainted bonds, Humanity in Gensokyo, DtRT, Stitches in time, that Touhou/gradius story, and Fleet Fox.
/eientei/: LSL out of all the remotely active stories there.
/forest/: Gensokyoland Saga, ADEFT's /forest/ chapter, Stardust
/border/: On the business end, Facemelter's story, Shikigami of the heart.
/shrine/: AoS R2, Winter Alchemist, Wizard Fox thoughts
/sdm/: FoSL, Eldest Scarlet, BLUE(Landscout), AFT's side stuff
/youkai/: FoM, and whatever stories decide to update.
/underground/ YAF's story, KID, that Alice story.
/others/ Merchant story, Creeping Shadows, That ZoEish story. An Excuse for Aya, Masked Rider in Gensokyo, and a few other slow stories.

And I'm the one who writes In the forest, a Dancing light.

>>9249
Try the downloader here: >>/gensokyo/7144 to see if you can't convert a story into a e-book friendly format.
No. 9256
>>9255
>Knight (I'm hoping Karesh comes back)

Me too, my friend, me too.

It's a futile wish though.
No. 9273
I want to bitch about people declaring a story "the best story on the site"

Palingenesia? Best story
The Game? Best story
A Wizard is You? Best story
No. 9274
>>9273
Learn to deal with opinions.
No. 9275
>>9273
Palingenesia had me bored before the first paragraph's end. That's bad. Really, really bad.
No. 9276
>>9275
Your mother's face is bad.
No. 9277
>>9275
Same here. The writing's just making me want to skim through it. Besides, it's just so "not-Touhou" for a Touhou fanfic, if you get what I mean. The author is better off writing an original fantasy novel or something.

It's like Imperfect Metamorphosis, basically.

But hey, opinions.
No. 9290
File 13363495094.jpg - (45.73KB , 600x522 , 1299663785424.jpg ) [iqdb]
9290
I want to bitch about Anon.
I ask if there's a story, Anon tells me "why not write it yourself". So I write it myself and then Anon tells me "that sucks. Go kill yourself or go to FF.net".
No. 9291
>>9290

Go away Hartmann.
No. 9292
>>9290
So write it better, chump.
No. 9293
>>9292
Hah, as if writing's an easy job.
No. 9295
>>9292
I try.
Hell, I even use a proofreader. And I hate that, because it means delaying an update.
No. 9304
>>9295
Just asking, who do you get to proofread anyway? I can't imagine asking my friends to do it.
No. 9305
>>9304
It happens that a reader is so fed up with my typos that he offers his help.
If not, you can ask for help on IRC. They're helpful (sometimes).
No. 9312
I want to bitch about those "pseudo canonfags" out there.

They often complain about how retarded Touhou fanon is yet they're still acting retarded themselves.
No. 9313
>>9312
Would you clarify?
No. 9316
Quick poll here: if you could pick any one of the six Youkai Mountain goddesses to have a story about, which one would it be?
No. 9317
>>9313
You know, people who still use emoticons and write generic "OC in Gensokyo" stories even though it's been overdone to death already.
No. 9319
>>9316
And who are they exactly?
No. 9320
>>9317
What about that is "psuedo" canon?
No. 9321
>>9319
Shizuha, Minoriko, Hina, Suwako, Kanako, Sanae
No. 9322
>>9320
Fine.

They should be called retarded canonfags instead.

I was under the impression that all canonfags are reasonable gentlemen. Guess I was wrong.
No. 9323
>>9321
Eh, I'm not interested in any of them.

I'm more interested in the "theme" of a story, rather than what Touhous are involved in it.
No. 9324
File 133644463917.jpg - (165.81KB , 1023x724 , f02413cac0d7adfb0f00838c8b813ce3[1].jpg ) [iqdb]
9324
Turn this into a story. GO.
No. 9325
>>9323
You are a minority.
No. 9328
>>9325
And I'm proud of it. At least I'm not a routefag.
No. 9333
>>9332
At least the OC stories here are different. Look at Lion's for example.

It's not just about some guy from the Outside World arriving in Gensokyo and then getting some kind of power so that he can keep up with the Touhous.
No. 9334
>>9317
>OC in gensokyo

You mean 99%+ of the stories here? Or do you mean all the YUIG clones that lack even a traction of the talent of the original?

The latter gets pretty damn annoying as /th/ doesn't need any more dead stories of the exact same type. But I suppose this is what happens when we tell newbies to "look at the old stories" and nothing about keeping an eye on modern THP culture/story trends.
No. 9335
>>9334
I haven't seen one of those in a good while, though.
No. 9340
>>9335
There's some variations popping up that and most talentless story never last long enough to be noticed. But I'm sure we'll see some more pop up in /th/ and then see them die off soon after.
No. 9341
>>9340
Are you actively trying to discourage people?
No. 9345
>>9341
I'm hoping I'm wrong for once. The trend is slowly changing at least as far as horribly overdone story ideas, not so much for the average /th/ story lifespan. It's among the various reasons some people outright avoid /th/. I still read in it as there's still promising stories and I'm hoping people won't just plop their stories there for no good reason.
No. 9346
>>8987
I think the main problem with Patchy Quest is how unlikeable the protagonists are.

I can tolerate the obvious huge power level gap between Touhou and HP. I can tolerate how the Touhous are portrayed as much more powerful than even the best wizards in HP. But the one thing I can't tolerate is how smug the protagonists are.

Patchy is really smug. Remilia is also really smug. Even Koa is freakin' smug. And it doesn't help that anon is also jumping on the smug bandwagon, calling wizards from HP stupid and lacking common sense. It's like the smugness from Spacebattles gets compressed into one thread of smugness singularity.

I can't root for the protagonists. Heck, I'd rather have someone, anyone from the HPverse to beat the shit out of them to tone down that smugness of theirs.

Yeah, I'm more of a HP fan than a Touhou fan. I read HP since my childhood while I only got into Touhou for the past 3 years. You got a problem with that?
No. 9347
>>9346
Patchy as the same icy stotic-ness that his other leads seem to have (as if he could only do one kind of main character), though at least his other leads don't share certain tendencies of CQ's lead.

Ultimately his largely undeserved popularity hinders any sort of notion of getting better. This is assuming his fanbase here isn't mostly his spacebattles friends.

Shit stories promote shit readers which then promotes even more shit stories.
No. 9348
>>9346
I'm not reading this story. But when I saw your post, I grow curious, and I decided to check it out.
And then I read this:
>I'd just mind if they showed up at Hogwarts unannounced, and started eating or maiming people and/or got killed by a very lucky faculty member.
In other words, Kahi's HP wizards are so shitty that even the weakest touhou characters can kill them very easily.
No. 9349
>>9348
Those aren't Kahi's words. Kahi has repeatedly been dropping hints that HP wizards are more powerful than some of his readers think.
No. 9350
>>9349
That's exactly why I blame his readers.
No. 9351
>>9349
I sure hope so, my friend, I sure hope so.

Though like >>9350 said, I didn't get that impression from his readers.

Well, if the HP wizards actually defeat one of the Touhous, I'm sure lots of bawwwing will ensue.
No. 9352
>>9351
Koakuma has already been defeated. More than once. Nobody cried.
No. 9355
Why the fuck is it that every good story on this site is dead due to a hard-drive crash and a loss of data. What I really mean to say is, why did the the two best mother fucking stories on the site, Fallout Gensokyo and Palingenesia, have to die of the same cause. I fucking hate this shit man, I've been harboring this deep pent up anal devestation for two years now, and it won't ever stop bugging me that the sites two arguably, no, most definitely best and well written stories are dead. Of the same cause. What I really mean to say is, I really miss those stories, I'm never gonna forget the quality that they were, and how they spoiled me and gave me such high-standards for Touhou fanfiction, or literature as a whole even, in general. I think I just need to let go of the vague, desperate, hope that they may come back one day, because God knows they arn't. They've been long dead for a while now, and we all know it. ;_;7
No. 9356
Writers don't understand the value of backups, or how easy it is to do a backup in this day and age.
No. 9357
>>9352
Oh, really? Guess I don't skim properly then. Mind showing where?

>>9355
>most definitely best
Well, at least my definitely best story is finished.

It was MiG.
No. 9360
Does nobody write on paper anymore...?
No. 9361
>>9360
Writing on paper would be too complicated to edit or put online. I saw many writers, and nobody ever wrote his update on paper to scan it after.
And I don't know for others writers, but I know I edit my notes a lot, and if I were to write them down on paper, said paper would be unreadable after two days.
No. 9362
>>9355
> I'm never gonna forget the quality that they were, and how they spoiled me and gave me such high-standards for Touhou fanfiction
Snicker.

Seriously though, I don’t think you fully grasp how hard it is to keep your backups up to date. A writer will jot down smaller or bigger notes on a daily basis; having to keep all of those updated in all the backup locations is a mess. Sure, you could use some sort of online cloud system (Evernote springs to mind), but you won’t always be online.
Not to mention oft-times the ‘hard drive failure’ excuse is just that – an excuse. You wouldn’t believe how many times my hard drive could spontaneously break down when I had to turn in a text.
No. 9363
>>9361
>I saw many writers, and nobody ever wrote his update on paper to scan it after.
I've seen at least two on this site alone.
No. 9364
>>9362
some use their heads, though with this sometimes some mutation occurs, though in my experience, such mutations aren't a bad thing.
No. 9365
>>9362
My hard drive is last generation's dog. It loves some good assignments.
>>9346
I got a problem with that. It's called bias
>>9316
/youkai/ is dead. Long live /youkai/
No. 9369
>>9357
>MiG
Thank ye for reminding me to do my yearly rereading of that story, sir.
No. 9370
>>9316
Anyone but Sanae at the rate things are going. It's like she's to /youkai/ what Kaguya is to /eientei/, Yukari or Yuyuko to /border/, or Sakuya or patchouli to /sdm/.

It was nice seeing Shizuha (the less popular of the not so popular aki sisters) getting some time in FoM... and then Sanae steals the show. I know there's good reasons behind that, but it didn't stop it from provoking some feeling of outrage.

Yeah I said Kaguya as despite all the noise Reisen fans make, it's Kaguya that actually gets stories.

Thus I ask this question:

What characters do you want to see get stories in the other non-/th/ boards?
No. 9371
Will answering this question magically make a story appear?
No. 9372
>>9363
Who exactly?
No. 9374
File 133648420834.jpg - (29.22KB , 500x357 , pubint29.jpg ) [iqdb]
9374
>>9371
There's a Prismriver story going on in /border/, and a Reisen story going on /eientei/. I want to believe that this writefag isn't the only one interested in those miscellaneous characters.
No. 9376
>>9365
It's impossible to be truly free from bias if you write/read crossovers, especially if they bring up powerlevels.
No. 9378
>>9376
You know what, making a crossover fic with Touhou is like making a crossover fic with Dragonball Z. You'll have a major problem with power balance.

If you nerf the overpowered side, that side's fans will rage. If you do not nerf the overpowered side, the other side's fans will rage. It's a lose-lose situation, basically.

Nerfing the Touhous will make some Touhou fans rage, as proven by that fic posted here earlier where Yuugi gets killed or in Touhou Mother where Yuuka gets skewered by Porky's robot.

This is why you should forget writing Touhou crossovers unless you really, really know what you're doing.

By the way, I think ZUN is getting quite fed up with powerlevel discussions himself. He gives Miko (hearing ten people at once), Tojiko (summoning thunder), and Seiga (passing through walls) such lame powers, especially compared to "manipulating fate", "eating history", etc.
No. 9379
>>9378
>This is why you should forget writing Touhou crossovers unless you really, really know what you're doing.
>unless you really, really know what you're doing.
That's an unnecessary qualifier.
Just don't write crossovers. You're more likely to grow an extra functional penis spontaneously than you are to write a good crossover.
No. 9380
>>9379
Crossovers are double-edged swords, in my opinion. Some could be really good but others could stink to high heaven. Since most people aren't exceptional writers, most of them end up being the latter.
No. 9383
File 133648865913.jpg - (388.61KB , 810x1000 , Sup.jpg ) [iqdb]
9383
>>9370
Suwako.
I always saw her being depicted as either an innocent little girl, either a vicious curse god. I never saw her being written in an interesting way, it was always "yeah im a loli".
And I'd like to see her using her mishagujis for once.
No. 9385
>>9378
By the way, please stop trying to guess ZUN's motivations. It's annoying and adds nothing.
No. 9388
>>9378
Heh, funny you should mention Touhou Mother.

The one making it is a confirmed Tenshi fanboy yet for some reason he made her as bitchy and bratty as possible. She's even bitchier than Kira's Reimu.

It's like if Ddyk wrote that Lunarian invasion fic where the Lunarians (including Yorihime) are practically Nazis. It just baffles me, showing your love to a character by making her really hated by the readers.

Also, looking at his Twitter, he's probably a Kasen fanboy, too. Man, he's looking more and more like me.

Times like these makes me wish I know Japanese.
No. 9389
>>9388
>Heh,
Stop that.
No. 9390
>>9389
Hah.
No. 9392
>>9378
Ability and general combat ability are different things. Look at Yuuka, her ability could be useless in a fight but she hits hard enough for that not to be an issue.

>>9374
Only one problem: Hartman for the prismriver one. Not sure which ignored story is a Reisen story, but if it's Shooting Star, I hid it as any story with its writer saying "I'm doing this to kill time" is doomed to die. Though if anyone's heard good things about it, I may give it a chance.
No. 9393
>>9392
Well, if you're expecting a Patchwork-like story, I'm afraid you'll have to wait forever. Popular stories are hijacked by kaguyafags or yuyukofags, therefore only unpopular stories can have a miscellaneous character route.
And this is sad.
No. 9394
>>9393
What if it's routelocked off of Kaguya and Yuyuko routes, by whatever means?
No. 9395
>>9393
...What's a patchwork-like story?
No. 9396
File 133651345014.jpg - (472.49KB , 680x960 , 1335441533602.jpg ) [iqdb]
9396
>>9370
>What characters do you want to see get stories in the other non-/th/ boards?
I wouldn’t be terribly offended if someone started a story focusing on Youmu. Same thing, I’d love me some Miko—although I wouldn’t push it on anyone to have a story on a new character with recently released canon material. Also I don’t know that I’d be all too for following a story progressing at a plodding pace. Other than that, Kyouko maybe? I don’t know. All my top favourite characters have really been used a lot. Sluts.
No. 9397
>>9395
A very good, but very slow romance story.
No. 9398
>>9394
Then the story will be unpopular. Anon loves being able to choose.
No. 9399
Man, I thought the age of character-based romance stories is already over.

Guess I was wrong. Still lots of routefags on THP.
No. 9400
>>9399
That's because Anon keeps saying newfags to read the old stories.
No. 9401
>>9398
Well...fuck.
No. 9402
Talking about routefagging makes me wish GH is resurrected, just so I could join in on the shitstorm.

By the way, didn't Kaguyafags already have Teruyo's story for her route?
No. 9403
>>9402
And yuyufags had Hakugyoukourou LA. And it was great.
No. 9405
File 133652287173.png - (144.91KB , 450x600 , Nonsense you said here.png ) [iqdb]
9405
>>9388
>Lunarians (including Yorihime) are practically Nazis
THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS AND A FALLACY!
No. 9406
I want to bitch about how Chapter 10 and 11 of WaHH aren't translated yet.
No. 9407
File 133652423738.jpg - (240.49KB , 960x1200 , yorihime8.jpg ) [iqdb]
9407
>>9405
Orange, huh?
No. 9409
>>9388
Fun fact, that guy's least favorite Touhou is Yukari, especially after he read SSiB. That explains why he nerfed her so much in his game.

As for his favorite Touhou, Mima.

Got that via Google Translate, by the way.
No. 9410
>>9346
No big surprise there.

He likes Partially Kissed Hero and Methods of Rationality after all.
No. 9411
>>9410
We have hit peak irrelevant namedropping.
No. 9412
>>9411
A+ post would read again
No. 9413
>>9412
Please don't do that.
No. 9415
>>9409
How much was she nerfed exactly?

Just curious.
No. 9416
>>9415
Well, for starters, she's not the usual Omnipotent!Yukari or the "Just As Planned" Yukari so that's counted as nerfing for some people.

She spent most of the game trapped in a cage that weakened her power and when she got out she got her ass kicked by Tenshi.

Her plans, as Tenshi put it, was "a hell of a failure". She's totally outwitted by Porky, whom she really underestimated.

Yuyuko also brought up that as long as she thought of the humans as mere toys (i.e. , underestimating them), she would lose to them.

So yeah.
No. 9417
People write romance because it's what this site was partially founded on, that and hijinks.

>>9398
depends as if the character in question is good, people tend to accept it, particularly seeing how only a few characters have completed stories to their names.

>>9402
And Little Solider Lost (the better story of the two), but since there's no completed stories, people will still try to steer things or make things in that direction.

>>9397
slow paced as I don't think that much time passing between Haku appearing and making love to Yuyuko. But that was the standard back then.
No. 9418
>>9417
>People write romance because it's what this site was partially founded on, that and hijinks.
Just don't make it harem hijinks.
No. 9419
>>9418
I wouldn't mind a harem story if Marisa was the main character.
No. 9420
>>9418
Oh I don't think anyone in their right minds would try that. Same goes for most writers.
No. 9421
>>9417
I didn't mean slow-paced. I meant "being updated slowly".
No. 9422
>>9421
Back in his HLA days, Patchwork actually updated at a decent rate.
No. 9423
>>9422
Really? Impressive.
No. 9424
Back in the ol' days, we used to have writers who update more than once per day.
No. 9425
>>9424
Like Kahi? Snicker.
No. 9426
>>9425
back then writers of talent were updating that fast.
No. 9427
>>9425
Back in the ol' days, we don't have quest-like stories like the ones in /tg/.
No. 9428
>>9427
Yeah. They weren't called quests.
No. 9430
>>9428
Back in the ol' days, we never used dice to decide how a story would go.
No. 9434
>>9430
We did when there was a tie. That, or a coin.
No. 9436
>>9434
Back in the ol' days, we don't have stats for our protagonists.
No. 9438
Back in the ol' days, people were voting in 20 minutes. Now, you have to wait 3 days before having your votes.
No. 9440
>>9436
Oh, that’s what you meant. My bad.
No. 9442
Do we really have to start up this old vs. new debate again?
No. 9444
>>9442
Back in the ol' days, we never had this "old vs. new" debate.
No. 9445
>>/sdm/28023 had dice rolls and character stats, and that was 3 years ago
No. 9446
>>9445
Hey, I've never heard of that story before.

And why is he writing it like it's a visual novel or something?
No. 9447
Back in the ol' days, an active writer was a good writer.
No. 9448
>>9446
CYOA stories have been compared to VNs since the /jp/ days. That's where you get terminology like routes as well. Some writers, including HY, would add "system" information to the first post, or refer to "go back x choices" as "reload from ___".
No. 9449
>>9448
Oh yeah, didn't we try to make a Touhou VN once?

How did it go again?
No. 9450
>>9448


Well, that's because a VN is basically a CYOA that incorporates graphics and music. Structurally there is no difference, unless you try to argue the point that some of the tropes found in the more popular VNs (porn, romantic plots, routes) are the hallmark of a particular "VN genre" separate from a "CYOA genre".
No. 9451
>>9450
>Structurally there is no difference
What about discussion and writer interaction? Don't those count?
No. 9452
>>9450
>there is no difference
VNs actually have multiple routes/paths. CYOAs don't. Even in the rare instance where a CYOA does get a second run, it will be entirely new while playing through another route of a VN gives you a ton of recycled content.

Also, VNs aren't normally played by a group of perverts that can't focus.
No. 9453
>>9452
That's because they don't hold shift.
No. 9454
>>9453
I snickered.
No. 9455
I used to read VN. And then one day I understood that you die if you don't make specifics choices. From this day, I stopped reading them, now I just quickly pass over them, not even reading the text.
No. 9456
>>9455
They're not all like that. Most VNs don't have abrupt bad ends every other choice like fate/tsukihime.
No. 9457
>>9455
I thought you're going to make a Skyrim joke there.
No. 9459
File 133657650334.jpg - (35.64KB , 384x271 , zork.jpg ) [iqdb]
9459
>>9450
>>9452
You know, considering that, I'm kind of surprised there aren't more comparisons between CYOAs and old-school Infocom-style text adventures.
No. 9460
>>9459
You know, there's already a fangame like that.
No. 9462
>>9456
Well, I tried Kara no Shoujo, an horror/thriller one. Pretty frustrating to be forced to redo the whoe game because you died without understanding how.
No. 9463
>>9460
Tell me more about that.
No. 9464
>>9463
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlzAZ5qrO88
No. 9465
>>9464
Impressive.
No. 9466
>>9464
Why is it written in Batch?
In comparison with Z-machine text adventures, it has an awful lot of loading.
No. 9467
I'd like to bitch about Archetype of Self.

So far, It's already going to shit. Anon's already attempting to god-mode, and frankly I cant bear myself to read it because the author doesnt know when to put his foot down. Last I checked, he made the second 'run' so that MC wouldn't be a Mary Sue like in the last run, But whats the point if he's just going to let that all slide?
No. 9468
>>9438
Go back to bed, Teruyo.
No. 9469
>>9445
>[x] Left.
>[x] Right.
>I'M HELPING

Oh, how I miss those votes.
No. 9472
>>9467
The whole premise of the story is kind of... silly, to put it nicely.
No. 9473
>>9468
That's not eloquent enough to be Teruyo.
No. 9475
>>9473
>>9468
Can we please leave me out of this one?
No. 9476
>>9467
Oh, they're god-moding already?

Well, as long as the author doesn't use his characters as his mouthpiece like in the last run, I guess it's okay.

Oh, and please don't bring up the Watatsukis.
No. 9477
File 133660306153.png - (316.70KB , 750x750 , 15647856.png ) [iqdb]
9477
>>9476
>don't bring up the Watatsukis
I for one agree with this gentleman.
No. 9478
>>9467
Well anon did choose the most versatile/malliable ability though I think he'll put in some harsher limits down the line as the whole Gae blog Wade used was quite toned down to the grade of a really nice spear.

AoS1 would have been able to do a full power or enhanced one.
No. 9479
So far, the new AoS Wade has been teamed up with Kurumi. Kurumi was a Stage 2 boss before the spellcard system appeared, and she hasn't been significantly threatened by any of the fragments, whose powers have often been comparable to Wade's. Therefore, his power level is most closely comparable to a low-level independent midboss at best and a stage enemy with a lot of HP at worst.

Even if his power is superficially similar to the madness of the last one, I doubt he'll be able to employ it to anywhere near as much effect as in the last run for a very long time.
No. 9480
>>9479
paired up to a degree (in the back story, they were in something of relationship before the start of the story)

Yeah some anon were trying to OP things, unaware of Wade's weaker state, but they got something weaker.
No. 9483
So, umm, bitchy Reimu anyone?

>One day, Cirno was chasing one of Suwako frogs when she heard Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame pass by her. When the two girls passed by, Cirno tried to sneak attack them, but Reimu sensed the attack and bashed Cirno into a tree. The collision with the tree caused pain to flow all through Cirno's back. Her friends watched with fear, too scared to help their friend and group leader. The red and white miko walked up to the ice fairy and grabbed her neck. Reimu whispered to the fairy in a dark voice as tears ran down Cirno's face while she kicks and struggles to get free.

>"Listen. I don't have time to deal with you right now. I NEVER have time to deal with you. Stupid people don't deserve to LIVE. All stupid people ever do is get in the way of other people. I hope you DIE because I'm done with you." Reimu let go off the fairy's neck and Cirno gasped for air. The miko turned and walked away with Marisa. Marisa stepped in front of her best friend.

>"Reimu, what you just said was cold, no Cirno pun intended. I'm not even kidding this time. That was very cruel. Having her get in the way is one thing, but you don't get to kill people like that. That's just cruel. That even sounded a bit RACIST! Just because she's an idiot doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to live! Reimu, why are you so cruel to everyone?" Reimu stood silent for a minute and continued walking, then Marisa followed along.
No. 9484
>>9483
what the fuck is this shit
No. 9488
File 13366580072.jpg - (192.83KB , 600x518 , 11867337.jpg ) [iqdb]
9488
>>9483
I wish I was this good.
No. 9490
Is anyone saving these rage threads?
Who knows, maybe in 5 years the site will still be around. I'd like to have these somewhere then.
No. 9491
I want to bitch about the prominent lack of plot in most Touhou fangames.
No. 9492
>>9490
When I checked the archive thread in /gensokyo/ it redirected me to this page, but the thread was 'archived' I didn't know that we had that.

So, to answer your question... maybe?
No. 9510
http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/modern-earth-vs-gensokyo.220397/

>How would modern humanity fare against the youkai as they are portrayed in the touhou universe, assuming the lack of belief in the outside world did not kill them, assuming all of the nations of the world banded together to fight them and assuming Yukari did not just hax the conflict away?

>If Yukari doesn't hax the conflict away then Reimu will. Or the Lunarians. Or Flandre will kill everyone. Or Keine will consume the history of Gensokyo being discovered and everything immediately goes back to normal. You underestimate Touhou hax, young padawan. The ability to defy conservation of energy while freezing things is enough to make Cirno one of the lowest-tier bosses in the franchise.

There are no words on how I hate threads like this.
No. 9511
>>9510
I don't understand why you clicked that thread. Are you a masochist?
No. 9512
>>9510
Everytime I read stuff like that, I must remind myself that Touhou Mother exists.
No. 9513
>>9511
Curiosity kills the cat, I suppose.
No. 9515
>>9510
And to think Kahi brought people like that here.
No. 9519
>>9483

Please stop. You're hurting me.
No. 9520
>>9510
Issue is that it's meaningless to compare Touhou's universe and the real universe. Danmaku seems to be deeply rooted in the Touhou universe; in the PC-98 games before the spellcard system, in the parallel Seihou world, and heck, even in bars in the outside world as of Uwabami Breakers, you can see danmaku battles. Our warfare system...is very much not danmaku battles. Although there are countless projectiles, they are not humanly possible to evade.

Furthermore, Touhou's universe is a world where the glass is perpetually half-full. For example, let's look at the closely related Seihou world, which can be reached from Gensokyo. Seihou's world is a lot worse than Gensokyo. The world's resources were depleted and all plants except cacti went extinct, the whole world is owned by one corporation that invented a world-saving energy made from cacti, which is in turn controlled by one man, and employs five-year-old child soldiers. This energy is dangerous enough to trap people in spaces made of thought, where they will forget what they are. And as icing on the cake, youkai still exist, and they don't give a damn about human belief.

But, the world is slowly healing, and the plants are being replanted, they've got consistently functional ejection systems, all the low-level enemies are mindless robots, the cactus energy has been refined so now it's perfectly safe and more efficient than nuclear power, the one-world corporation's leader is a good guy who just wants to save his daughter (and succeeds), the youkai don't give a damn about human faith and therefore don't have to go out doing things to humans for faith, pretty much every antagonist was good all along in the end (unless I grossly misunderstand the plots of Kioh Gyoku and Banshiryuu), and the child soldiers are...still pretty creepy.

Touhou and its associates are a silly franchise group, and I mean that in the absolute best way possible. They don't even have a very solid continuity (although recently Touhou has been undergoing continuity creep). They are radically and fundamentally different from the real world, and should not be compared to it in such a crude way as what they're doing.
No. 9521
>>9520
please tell me this is a quote from that thread
No. 9522
Someone should open another thread dedicated to non-thp rage. Because honestly, people here are raging about spacebattles and about FF.net, but not about THP.
No. 9523
>>9521
No, it isn't.

But this one is, though.

>No, no they couldn't. Did you miss the memo about pretty much every named character in Touhou having stupidly broken powers? It's not just Yukari who can fuck the whole planet up by herself; Reimu could solo the planet by just turning on her Float invincibility and going on a killing spree if the mood took her; it would probably take the rest of her life to kill everything on the planet but she could probably do it in that timeframe. And that's one character out of dozens.
No. 9524
>>9523
That's so retarded I don't even know where to start. What are they, kids?
No. 9525
>>9523
>the rest of her life
>implying Reimu is not immortal while using Fantasy Heaven
No. 9526
>>9525
>implying Reimu wouldn't eventually run out of energy casting Fantasy Heaven continuously.
No. 9527
File 133674166478.jpg - (325.35KB , 648x906 , 27166296.jpg ) [iqdb]
9527
>>9526
>implying energy isn't part of reality
No. 9528
>>9526
>implying Spell Cards depends from the user's energy/mana/stamina/whatever
No. 9531
>>9527
>implying it's not Reimu just becoming ethereal

>>9528
>implying maximal Spell Cards usage quota doesn't depend on their user's strength
No. 9532
>>9531
>implying Sanae is stronger than Marisa because she has more spellcards, even through Marisa kicks her goddess' ass and rape her during a lesbian foursomesome including a witch, two godesses and a miko.
No. 9533
>>9532
>rape
Go back to /at/.
No. 9540
Everyone involved in that wonderful greentext exchange is no longer allowed to complain about anyone else being dumb ever.
No. 9541
>>9540
>lesbian foursomesome including a witch, two godesses and a miko
I dunno, that sounds brilliant to me.
No. 9544
File 133675263282.png - (387.89KB , 720x2473 , cakXZ.png ) [iqdb]
9544
And the reaction.

>So Yukari is the god of Mary Sues... got it...

>Also, from that description the Touhou universe sounds kinda... boring if you have people that powerful in it. Its kinda like "knowing" you have a Mary Sue that could fix all your problems by simply blinking her eyes but wont. (No, I don't know the Touhou universe and from that description I doubt I'll ever venture into it)
No. 9545
>>9522
does bitching about Kahi count as THP despite him being on those two other sites?
No. 9547
>>9545
Can we stop mentioning Kahi constantly? Please?
No. 9548
>>9540
They're going to anyway, though. THP has a lot of hypocritical idiots.

>>9544
>pic
There was enough effort put into writing that that I'm not sure whether to applaud their commitment to trolling or just acknowledge that they have no life. Unless they were serious.

And that at least touches on a legitimate point about Yukari, actually. Truly omnipotent characters, or effectively omnipotent ones, can easily break suspension of disbelief in a story. There has to be some limit to her powers.
No. 9549
>>9540
>implying I need your permission to bitch.

>>9544
That's fucking retarded. In Imperishable Night, the only one able to figure out the whole accident in the first stage is Yuyuko, and yet Yukari is the omnipotent one. Whoever did that needs to play more.
No. 9550
>>9547

Of course not. If they want to bitch about Kahi they can.
No. 9551
I want to bitch about Taisa, since he "forgot" that he was supposed to write Gensokyo High AGAIN.
No. 9552
>>9551
Go bug him on IRC then.

As for me, I've given up on GH.
No. 9554
>>9551
I called it.
No. 9555
>>9554
You predicted Taisa not writing? Damn, you're good.

Please tell me whether HY will update any of his abandoned stories, I'm dying to know.
No. 9556
>>9555
HY is a lazy fag. Even lazier than patchwork.
I heard he ran away from the website crying, apparently he came back.
No. 9557
>>9555
I predicted—nay, knew for certain he would pussy out of his promise. I also knew THP’s pampering and foot-licking wouldn’t change that future one whit.
No. 9558
>>9556
Didn't HY go insane trying to ban YAF?

Oh hey, old THP drama.
No. 9559
>>9556
Last story post by HY I can find was two years ago, what do you mean he came back?

Unless you're talking about IRC, but I don't think he ever really left there.
No. 9560
>>9559
I think I saw him recently whining on /blue/. Or was it on /gensokyo/? Whatever, point is, it wasn't in a story thread, it was in a meta thread.
No. 9565
I want to bitch about how hard it is to write the opening of a story.

I just can't bring myself to use the generic "It was a ... day in Gensokyo" and I'm not creative enough to use "poetic" or "artsy" opening.
No. 9566
File 133681402770.jpg - (122.75KB , 900x906 , 4b0aab0b8786dae0032ee94f1617b11b.jpg ) [iqdb]
9566
>>9565
How about this? Something about 10 minutes in Word, mind.


***

THE VILLAGE SQUARE was packed. As per wont of our elders, each seventh week-day made stalls be pitched on the moss-splotched cobblestone and sweating house-wives pulled out their gossip and needlework to the Sun-bathed streets. The noise drummed a steady pain on one’s skull. The Sun was little better.

Vendors and serving wenches like fought one another for the heed of the fragrant crowd. The fat purse. The spare coin. All was fair game; everything went. Mayhap good sir wants a new bed-cloth? A nice tunic for the weather? A fortnight and the Sun will steam you in these rags, know you! No? How for new sandals? A back-rub? Spit-shine your shoes? No? Oh, do come back! Come back, you! Come, you scroogy swine! I dare!

I say, but there was I, one of them—quiet though. I had no need of crying my service. That did my hammer—louder than enough. The red-hot iron burst sparks like white stars in the noon. I was a smith—apprentice, exact. Ah, no, I won’t tell what content carbon a good steel had. You want to know, you read a book. I hadn’t never been one with books, but my master said always there’s nothing a book won’t know. So there. This isn’t no story of forging of legends anyhow.

As I was hammering on that iron like so, there came to me a voice I had seen last as coming to our smoke-spewing stall.


“Good day,” it said, as though I hadn’t known.
I rose from my anvil to the whitest mop of hair you’d see.
“Aye,” replied I, toweling the hot rivulets of sweat from my face. “Seems to be.”
The girl couldn’t be more than fifteen. More weird she had hair like so. There were sheaths buckled to her somedeal out-moded dress. Green, white and lace. Very lady-like. I feared she’d get it stained from our smithy.
“I’ll come fetch my master,” I made a gruff offer. I did not as a rule parley with customers, you see.
The little lady ignored me.
“Work you on swords?” she asked me, this urgent look on her smooth-white cheeks.
“If I must needs,” I said.
The girl breathed out like a mare after a run. “I beg you I need your help,” she was saying. “You’re the last smith in town I haven’t yet asked. I beg of you, good craftsman, hear me out at least!”

Well, what might I do? Master was no place in sight. The girl was pretty and I tired anyway.

I turned the fires down and listened.
No. 9567
>>9566
Wow, 400k words in ten minutes?

It took me half an hour at best to write that much.
No. 9569
File 133682016215.gif - (114.12KB , 550x400 , gota_go_fsat.gif ) [iqdb]
9569
>>9567
I’m not usually this fast.
No. 9571
>>9565
Have you tried looking at how various stories opened? As most these days don't start out with anything that simple.
No. 9572
>>9571
I know. That's why I don't want to use that cliched expression.
No. 9578
END OF RINE

------------------- RINE ENDS HERE
No. 9584
>>9566
>“I beg you I need your help,”
Maybe they won't help you because of ALL THE COMMAS YOU ATE YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING FAT PIG
No. 9590
>>9584
That was all me. You leave Youmu out of your chubby chasing. You can chase me instead.