Archived Thread

File 132834630790.jpg - (365.13KB , 1024x569 , despair.jpg ) [iqdb]
6382 No. 6382
There is no hope.

No. 6384
Mmmmna. My Little Pony is worse. At least, we don't have fanfictions where Reimu is a sadist cannibal turning people into cakes. And touhoufags aren't bitching each time a new game is out.
No. 6385
I like both. ^_^
No. 6386
>touhoufags aren't bitching each time a new game is out.
You sure we live in the same internets?

>At least, we don't have fanfictions where Reimu is a sadist cannibal turning people into cakes.
Well, we have a doujin where Eirin eats Tewi and Reisen, so...
No. 6387
>Well, we have a doujin where Eirin eats Tewi and Reisen, so...

>touhoufags aren't bitching each time a new game is out.
>You sure we live in the same internets?
You know, the ponifags started many petitions when there was this episode with a fancharacter. They also accused the show of being offensive. On another hand, each time there's a new game, touhoufans are bitching because Mima isn't here, but that's all. I never saw them starting an online petition or any retarded shit like that.
No. 6388
5 seconds on google.

No. 6389
File 13283523273.jpg - (327.91KB , 600x800 , 7d76de81948ab79b3b6031600325707c.jpg ) [iqdb]
At least there are no monsters in MLP.
No. 6390

That's because they have hostile concepts.
And you can't kill a concept.

Plus, you know, it's aimed at little children.
No. 6392
Not sure about that. The first season brings a cocatrix (turn people into stone), while the second season brings windigos (freezes people to death).

And if you decide to wander in the fanon, God helps you.
No. 6393
>file removed
Haha. No pony pics allowed in THP.
No. 6394
Dont bring your attention whoring shit in here.

Now guys, Here's the question. Which is more disturbing - borderline pedophillia like with most of the fandom, or bestiality like with the bronies. Pick your poison.
No. 6398
>borderline pedophilia

lol GH.
No. 6399
No. 6401
The only correct answer.
No. 6402
File 132837418725.jpg - (32.54KB , 225x350 , 79871.jpg ) [iqdb]
>And you can't kill a concept.
No. 6404
Who's that girl?
No. 6407
> At least, we don't have fanfictions where Reimu is a sadist cannibal turning people into cakes.

We have our fair share of sickening fanfics. Just some highlights:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6896797/1/Touhou_Superfluously_Titled_Dimension and its glorious sequel: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7594761/1/Touhou_Radiant_and_Powerful_Entity
No. 6410
Ryougi Shiki, from Kara no Kyoukai. She has the Mystical Eyes of Death Perception, which let her see exactly where to cut any object, person, or concept in order to destroy it.

You should watch it; it's very good.
No. 6414
Sorry, not going there.

But I trust you anyway, there are really touhou grimdark fanfics.
No. 6424
File 132840070297.jpg - (91.19KB , 300x387 , komachi.jpg ) [iqdb]
Reimu found herself standing on the shore of the great wide river. Behind her was a quiet flowery meadow on which half-transparent people slowly shuffled around.

"Oh great," she muttered. "I'm dead."

She examined herself and found out she was still wearing her usual miko outfit. It was also half-transparent, just as her flesh was. Reimu played around for a bit, discovering new and exciting things about her new body every minute. For example, she could see through her palm, and couldn't remove the clothes, as they were now an integral part of her.

She considered going to talk to some of the spirits, but eventually decided against it. There will be plenty time for that later and for now she wanted a little peace and quiet without pain, bitter medication and constantly worrying Marisa.

There was a gap in her memory probably a size of a week. She vaguely remembered her last days to be hectic, some people she didn't know moving around the shrine. For some reason, in her last few days it was Sanae who took care of her, not Marisa. Reimu couldn't blame her friend, though. After all, she deserved some peace just as Reimu did.

She walked by the shore, picking up flat stones and trying to cause them to skip on the water. They didn't, and the water felt strange too, sucking, oily and very unpleasant to the touch.

She saw a dot on the water surface. It looked like the dot grew larger, so Reimu decided to wait and see.

As it approached, the dot slowly took shape of a small boat, and it definitely moved towards Reimu. She straightened her clothes and practiced her smile.

Well, this wasn't very odd. The shinigami who carried spirits across the river had the reputation of being lazy, but Reimu was a bit of a special case. No wonder they've sent for her so early. At least she wouldn't have to talk to all those morose spirits in the field now.

The boat glided closer and the oarswoman waved to Reimu. She waved back.

"So, the infamous Reimu Hakurei has finally arrived," the girl in the boat spoke. Her hair was outrageously red, just as her eyes were. Her belt was likewise outrageously wide, contrasting with a comparatively simple dress. She dropped the oars and put up a scythe on her shoulder, looking confident and imposing.

"And you are?"

"Komachi Onozuka, the one and only shinigami of Gensokyo, at your service," the girl said with a slight bow. "We met before, but only briefly."

"Right," Reimu said, and nodded to the boat. "So, let's go to the other side?"

Komachi winced slightly. "You wouldn't believe how many people make this pun. Anyway, there is a procedure to follow. First, you pay me with special money that signifies people that will mourn for you in the land of the living, then I set the river width, and only then we take off on our journey, definitely not singing anything about rowing the boat down the stream."

"Sounds needlessly complicated," Reimu said with a smile and stuck a hand in her pocket. She scooped out a handful of coins, different sizes and colors. They were all branded in yen, but on their head sides they had smiling faces of her friends instead of the standard emperor profile.

"Oh hey, Yukari looks cute here," she said, and started to examine the coins. Strange, but she couldn't see Marisa anywhere.

"Just hand them over, I'm on a schedule here," Komachi impatiently said and tapped her foot. Reimu sighed and gave the coins away. She searched her pockets some more, but there was nothing else there.

"You know, I expected more, and the largest coin to be with Marisa, not Yukari," she absently said.

"Close friends only, or spirits would be weighted with so much metal the boat would sink. Also, the system is not perfect and is prone to errors. Okay, setting width…"

She pocketed the money, but Reimu couldn't see any change in the river. "Uh, shouldn't we be able to see the other shore now?"

"No, for you it's supposed to be like this," Komachi said, and Reimu found something very unnerving in how she said it.

"Ok, hop in, I don't have all day," the shinigami continued, and Reimu complied, taking her seat at the back of the small, rocky boat. They took off in silence, and Reimu grew bored rather quickly. Komachi looked very serious while rowing, the oars going back and forth, back and forth…

"Row, row, row your boat…"

"Stop it."

Reimu sighed. This all was taking too long and didn't make any sense. She decided to start a more constructive dialogue.

"So, I heard you don't like your job that much," she said after a pause, having decided that she should take an opportunity to know Komachi a little more while she had the chance.

"Some parts of it, yes. It pays well though," Komachi said with a grin and tapped her purse. It produced a merry jingle.

"So, what aspects would you like to improve? I can ask your boss, I'm sure she will listen…"

"I don't know, really. A substitute shinigami maybe, so I can party on holidays instead of getting a spike in workload thanks to all the stupid drunks."

"Sure, I'll ask for that." Reimu said with a smile, but Komachi looked a bit sad for some reason.

They moved in silence for a while, and the shore behind them disappeared in fog. The river looked absolutely the same in every direction and the surface looked murky, so Reimu couldn't see what was going on in the depths.

She wondered what will await her next. Probably some more obsolete procedures, a lecture from the judge of the dead and then… reincarnation right away or a vacation in heaven first? She hoped for the latter, this way she would see Marisa pretty soon.

Well, there was also a possibility of being sent to Hakugyokurou, but Reimu dismissed that. Why go through all this suffering, then? She could just ask Yuyuko to pull her there at any time. In any case, the spirit world was not the place she would prefer spending her afterlife in, way too boring.

And hell? Out of the question. There was no possible way she would be found evil or guilty of some crime. So most probably heaven it is, for ten or twenty years, and then the cycle begins anew. The wheel of fate keeps turning and turning…

"And we're all set, in a nice quiet place where no one can hear you scream," Komachi suddenly said and stopped rowing. She put the oars up on the sides of the boat to dry.

"Um, excuse me?"

"I'm going to push you off in the water and leave you here to be devoured by soulless ancient monsters that dwell in the untold depths of the river," Komachi said with an absolutely serious face.

"Riiight," Reimu said, rolling her eyes. "I'm sure you tell this story to every single spirit that you transport, just to see their faces."

"No, I only tell it to those who I am really going to push," Komachi said, and her face became grim. "And I also always tell them why, because before their final death people deserve at least that."

Reimu still didn't take it seriously. "Well, enlighten me then, because this all looks very stupid to me," she said with a shrug.

"Of course. All this…" Komachi said, and made a wide gesture around her "… it is not just for show. It has a purpose, and I'll say without any exaggeration that this is the darkest secret of all Gensokyo."

"Ooh, a dark secret, spooky," Reimu interjected with a smile. Komachi winced.

"The truth is, a lot of people die, and not every one of them deserves heaven or hell or reincarnation or anything. Some of them just need to be erased, to make place for the new ones."

Reimu stopped smiling. She now distantly remembered that there is some small possibility for the spirit to not make it to the afterlife, but no one talked about it openly.

"And some people, some very powerful, very deserving of afterlife people need to be erased on purpose, taken out of the picture so to speak. An ultimate political assassination, if you are willing to call it that. And this is your case, Reimu Hakurei."

Reimu clenched her fists. "Kanako Yasaka…"

"Oh, you are smarter than you look," Komachi said, clearly surprised. "Unfortunately, you didn't go out in the blaze of glory as expected when the subterranean sun was born, but her plan worked anyway because it had a hidden layer to it. Kanako is a very educated, practical and methodical monster, you know."

"Then why so ridiculously contrived and needlessly complicated?" Reimu protested, throwing her arms up. "I'm not exactly the hardest person to assassinate. A few villagers with crossbows would do the trick."

Komachi scratched her head. "Beats me. Maybe the transfer of power from a shrine to shrine is a complex ritual that requires a sadistic conspiracy plot to work. Maybe Kanako is just bored and has nothing else to do except to get herself amused or aroused by torturing you. Maybe both, but we will never know for sure."

She paused, stood up, and picked up her scythe. "Well, that's about it. There are more minor details, on how she got me, Aya and Satori to work for her, or what deal she made with Yukari for her to allow all this, and why the spell card system malfunctioned, but they are not important. The power transfer is complete, Gensokyo is safe, Hakurei border is now Moriya border, the spell cards function again, so basically we are done here. Any last words?"

Reimu stood up and chuckled. "Heh. A villain divulges all the secrets, stands back and gloats. Isn't it the perfect time for the gap to open above your head and for Marisa to sweep in, blasting you into the water and saving my soul?"

Komachi scratched her head. "Hmm… you know, just before I erased Marisa last week, she said nearly exactly the same thing, only it was you who was her savior. A bit sad, really."

"NO!" Reimu shouted and stepped forward, grabbing Komachi by the collar. The boat rocked dangerously, but the shinigami didn't flinch. "You lie! I don't know who could think of such a twisted joke but I swear, that person is going to pay, you hear? You hear…"

She cried, ghostly tears falling down her cheeks. There was no coin with Marisa's smiling face on it. She didn't stay with her for the last few days. And the last time they saw each other…

"No! Marisa, I'm sorry! I forgive you! I'll forgive you no matter what you do! I'll—"

Komachi effortlessly pulled Reimu's hands away. "You know what? I'll tell you the truth, the final truth. Forgiveness, hope, faith, love, all of it doesn't matter in the end. Spirits are judged for their actions in life, not words or emotions."

She just as effortlessly threw Reimu back, and jabbed her in the chest with the handle of her scythe, a practiced and sharp movement honed by thousands, tens of thousands of repetitions. Reimu toppled back and fell in the water with a dull, muted splash. Komachi sat back and rowed around Reimu, who was desperately trying to stay on the surface of the water that pulled her down.

Komachi leaned to the side of her boat, leveling her gaze with the drowning girl. "And in your case, nothing matters at all. You were born, you lived, you died. Then the monsters devoured your soul and lived happily ever after. The End."

She rowed away and soon disappeared in the distance. Reimu cried for help, she shouted, she begged, but there was no one around, just endless absolutely still waster in every direction.

She clumsily tried to swim, slowly moving she didn't know where. The water weighed her down, pulled at her endlessly, and still she tried to swim, ten, twenty paces…

Something latched into her arm, a long pale worm with fins. She slapped it away, but more and more came, gnawing onto her clothes and ghostly flesh. It didn't hurt, but she felt weaker and weaker with every bite, every small piece torn off her.

Then the worms dispersed and a large amorphous jellyfish slammed into her body from the side, digging into her stomach and sucking away her insides with thin, wriggling threads of flesh. She punched at it a few times, each hit weaker than the previous, and the thing detached, disappearing in the distance.

A flat segmented tentacle from below coiled around Reimu and pulled her under, ending her suffering.
No. 6426
No. 6428
I just have to read the first and last line of that to know it's the exact same grimdark bullshit that's be written a thousand times before.
No. 6429

That's not Grimdark.

That's a Hatefic.

Grimdark wouldn't just stop at erasing Reimu's and Marisa's souls.
No. 6430
Tomato, tomahto.
No. 6434

Dude. What the hell.

I know the terms “copyright infringement” and “plagiarism” are not appropriate here, but seriously, I didn’t spend a month worth of man-hours on the story for its sections to be ripped out of context and used as copypasta.

And yes, it is a hatefic, and yes, I am a creepy hatefic-writing fuck, but there is more to the story than one section at the end of not even the last chapter. Give credit where credit is due and link to the whole thing if you think the story is worthy of its infamy.


Anon, I am disappoint.
No. 6435
>copyright infrigements
BZZZt too complicated, Mister Headache doesn't like to share the available brain!
That only works if Anon takes your story, only changing the names. That's not plagiarism here.
>Anon, I am disappoint.
Boo-hoo, a guy over the Internet is disappointed with us. That's really going to change the way I act toward everyone.
>I am a creepy hatefic-writing fuck
>there is more to the story than one section at the end of not even the last chapter
Reimu and Marisa are dead. Your story is therefore uninteresting.

You could have just put a link to your story, but you decided to pull a "I'm butthurt" act.
No. 6436
There is no hope.
No. 6437
You're expecting credit where it's due on an Anonymous image-board, while at the same time using a trip without having any mean too?
No. 6438
You're expecting copyright rules on an imageboard where every writefag (except Stove) steals pictures from the Internet?
No. 6439

>Claims copyright of an anonymously-written story.

It's actually my story. Or sorry, it's so bad that I don't want to call it mine.
No. 6440
What the fuck is wrong with the western touhou community? It seems to attract easily butthurt retards like you like shit attracts flies. Why don't you just go fuck yourself, right along with all of your other friends, you self righteous cunt.
No. 6441
Oi. Don't go around claiming that Anonymous wrote that piece of shit, you'll tarnish our reputation.
No. 6444
>This story was inspired by "Gensokyo Archives: Death Files" snuff fic by Azure Xuchilbara

Hey, isn't he that guy who uploads Touhou scat in /at/?
No. 6445
>One Word: Awesome ~ What do you mean by "not a native speaker", you write better than most ~ another word: "More"

>This story changed my life

>Hmm. Typical, the only negative review is left by a person too cowardly to identify themselves. Plus saying something is the truth without giving any backing reasons, idiot. Back to the story, great writing, as much as it pains me to say considering what you did to several characters that I liked. Shook me to the core.

>Brilliantly written. Just wow. I see so much of the world today in this great work. Was this your intention? No matter the answer to this, you are talented, and have a very interesting understanding of things.

>Magnificent. There is one unmentioned detail. Couldn't Keine hide history such that the false faith would be uncontested? Regardless, this fic gets the EX phantasm completion bonus and Last Word!

>*Sob* That was heartbreaking... I wonder if Komachi is truly evil, she almost is sad to break Reimu's ignorance about her fate. In the letters Komachi supposedly does everything willingly...I doubt that. Completely altrustic to death with no motivation to do good, yes, but to go out of her way to carry out someone's bidding. Perhaps the whole situation is a political interaction between Shieiki and Kanako, and Komachi, by Shieki's request, is the one who must carry out the "political assination". And by the way, your story is amazing. I remember no spelling or grammar mistakes. The story is beyond anything else, believable. The characters' actions have meaning behind them and are not predictable. Almost every set of circumstance of event tragic. Satori is quite a pitiful character, yet equally tragic...how a person who could read minds could be decieved by such simple means.

>Bravo...Bravo... I am very, very satisfied with this ending and the idea of hope for Gensokyo... All will slowly return to how it was before Kanako f*cked it all up with her (Moriya Shrine) conspiracy... I'm happy to know that Gensokyo will be fine and everything will go back before all this happened...Minus Reimu, Marisa, and Okuu... But, then again...Okuu will come back, but I don't know about Marisa and Reimu... Ah well, even if a soul is destroyed, it is not absolute... "The law of conservation of energy" Yes...Nothing is absolute~ Thank you for making my day, Vrock8, and may Kanako end up in Silent Hill, mwahahahahahaha...

My God, the faggotry in FF.net is worse than I thought.
No. 6446
File 132845290594.jpg - (93.64KB , 680x440 , yukkuri423.jpg ) [iqdb]
>At least, we don't have fanfictions where Reimu is a sadist cannibal turning people into cakes.
No. 6447

Go back to your shitty site and take your shitty story with you. Hell, I wish it was never posted here to begin with.
No. 6448
>too much "..."
>calling previous reviewer a coward
Anonymous on touhou-project is sometimes retarded, often agressive, and kind of elitist, but when I see that people are considering those things as reviews, I'm glad to be on THP rather than being on FF.net
No. 6450
(BGM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWqKPWO5T4o)
Komachi enters in Yukari's office. She doesn't feel good. Truth to be told, she feels extremely stressed.

At the other side of the room, is Yukari's armchair, currently turned toward the window. Yukari herself isn't visible, and only her cigarette is visible.
Then, with a slight sicilian accent, the Queen in Purple speaks.
"So? Did the puttana made it?"
"N-no, My Lady. S-she's in the Sanzo River."
"Molto bene. Ran?"

From a corner of the room, a fox lady in a business suit moves toward Komachi. Said Komachi starts to panic. Does she knows too much? After all, she 'disposed' of two major figures of Gensokyo, so they're probably not leaving her alive. She's a liability after all.
"Accept the Purple Queen's regalo, morte dio."
And the fox, walking in front of Komachi, opens a briefcase, and show its content to the sweating shinigami.

The briefcase contained several bottles of a very rare brand of sake. Breathing deeply, Komachi quickly identifying one as being the extremely rare "Oni-Killer", rumoured to be strong enough to get an oni drunk.
"Is that valido, morte dio?"
"Y-Yes! More than valid, in fact!"
The fox closes the briefcase, and hands it to the Shinigami, gently urging to to leave. The shinigami walks to the door, and says one last thing before leaving for good.
"Always a pleasure to deal with you!"

"Comprapre some calcestruzzo."
"Concrete? What for, capo?"
"Komachi needs new scarpe. And a taste of her own medicina."
"New shoes, capo. That will be done."
"Andare, Ran."
Alone in the huge room, the Queen in Purple take a deep breath on her cigarette. There was business, and there was feelings. Sometimes, you had to sacrifice one to gain the other.
Suddenly remembering something, she turns her armchair toward her desk, and presses the intercom.
"What is it, capo?"
"Call my good amico, Yuyuko. I'll make her an offer she can't refuse."
"Si, capo."
Yuyuko can keep a secret. A shinigami can't. That's hard, but that's business.
No. 6451
Fun fact: I tried to translate "Death God" with Google translate, and it keeps giving me "morte dio", which means "Dead God". I shoulda asked an italian anonymous to help me instead.
No. 6453
>whines about his story being turned into a laughingstock
>pulls complicated words from the dictionnary to try and impress us
>still insulted
>pretends it's a troll
Make yourself a favour, Vrock, and go back to the shithole you belong.
No. 6454
And I forgot one:
>erase his "I WAS A TROLL ALL ALONG" post.
Too bad he chickened out, otherwise we coulda used it as a "what not to do on THP" guide.
No. 6458

No screencap?
No. 6459
File 132849426092.jpg - (678.40KB , 1200x900 , 307947.jpg ) [iqdb]
Talking about bad Touhou fanfics...


Yorihime slammed her hand down on Blizzard's neck, lifted him off the ground and tightened her grip with every passing moment. Sergeant Blizzard tried to manually remove Yorihime's iron hand from his neck, but to no avail.

"Any last words, human?" Yorihime asked mockingly, her fingers searching for his windpipe. "I will crush your neck like a twig."

Blizzard could only stutter, his speech having been severely suppressed.

"You're so weak you can't even speak!" Yorihime chuckled.

However, Blizzard motioned with his finger, and Yorihime took that as an indication that he did indeed have some final words to say before his death. Deciding that her honour as a Lunarian should at least grant him this mercy, Yorihime loosened her grip on his neck just enough to allow him to speak.

"What is it?" she demanded. "Do you wish to say something?"

Blizzard could only wheeze, but his words were nonetheless audible. "Kiss... my... ass!"

Yorihime retightened her grip once more, and raised her sword to deliver the killing blow. Sergeant Blizzard, once again gasping for air, could only watch with eyes open wide...

"Die!" Yorihime hissed. "Foul ape!"

Yorihime, for the second time that battle, was rudely interrupted. From the ground, Sergeant Blizzard witnessed Corporal Shooter appear in a flash from behind, leaping up into the air, and plunging his Sykes Commando knife down at the back of Yorihime's neck.

"Aaaggh..." gasped Yorihime, her voice trailing off.

The Sykes knife was designed with a groove that ran through the middle, allowing the blood from a target to accumulate. This made it extremely easy to rip through flesh, as well as allowing for a smooth withdrawal. Combined with the knife's obvious sharpness, even Yorihime's trained physical body stood no chance. The blade sliced through her skin epidermis and was only stopped by her spinal cord. However, that was more than enough to cause crippling pain, and Yorihime could only stagger back in pain. With the damage done, Shooter swiftly withdrew his now-blood stained Sykes knife. But, perhaps most importantly, the shock of Shooter's surprise attack caused Yorihime to drop her sword to the ground...

Seizing the opportunity, Sergeant Blizzard scrambled to his feet and gingerly picked up Yorihime's sword with one hand.

"Nice sword," he commented.

"I have been dishonoured by a human. That's the ultimate humiliation..." Yorihime said softly, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Please... spare me! I beg you!"

"Fucking bitch," Sergeant Blizzard snapped, levelling the sword threateningly. "You can't fool me. If I let you off, you'll do some magic hocus-pocus bullshit. Like calling in your stupid-ass gods to help you. Or some crap."

"I'm pure!" Yorihime wailed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm perfect! The Moon is perfect! This can't be happening! No, no! NO!"

"You can certainly talk the talk with your 'purity' horseshit," added Corporal Shooter. "But... can you walk the walk with a sword in your head?"

"Before you kill me..." Yorihime sobbed, having calmed down slightly. "Answer me this... How did you - the inhabitants of the Earth - defeat us? We... We are Lunarians, the pinnacly of perfection and purity! Yet you are but mere humans!"

"Wrong!" snapped Sereant Blizzard. "WE are humans. You are but mere Lunarians, the pinnacle of asshattery and prime contenders for the most-full-of-yourself prize. In fact, why haven't I killed you yet?"

By this point, Yorihime was literally begging for her life. "I'm sorry!" she cried out, having fully broken down into a gibbering wreck of tears. "I'm sorry! Forgive me!"

"It's too late for that! Six months too late!" Blizzard shouted. "You threatened our land, our families, our homes and our whole bloody planet, dammit! Now fuck off!"

"N-no..." Yorihime babbled, blood already bubbling out from her previous wounds. "No... Nonononono!"

Nonchalantly, Sergeant Blizzard thrust the sword into Yorihime's left eye. Since Yorihime's blade was designed to be sharp enough to cut light itself, the Lunar Princess' flesh and skull stood no chance. Amidst the resulting spray of blood and chunks of her vitreous humor, Blizzard released the sword and left it in Yorihime's eye, and stood back to watch the Lunar Princess' final moments; Yorihime fell to the ground, still very much alive (and in great agony), and her bodily fluids continued to pour out from their wounds. Her hands were fluttering and flailing about, presumably in a futile attempt to reach and remove the sword from her eye. It had cut through the left eye cleanly in half, penetrated her skull, and was now jammed into her brain's frontal and parietal lobes, critically hampering Yorihime's behaviour patterns and analytical thinking capability (respectively). Not only that, but the sword's pointy-end had also ripped through the back of her head, impaling her brain's cerebellum on its way through and in doing so had severely impacted on her co-ordination of bodily movements.

In the space of a few seconds, the legendary Princess Watatsuki no Yorihime was reduced to a horrific screaming mass, her face utterly drowned in blood and her clothes stained a deep red accordingly.

"NNNOOOOO...!" she screamed, kicking and spasming uncontrollably. "H-HOW C-C-C-COULD THIS HAPPEEEEENN? I AM PURE! PERFECT! YET I WAS BEATEN BY THESE... MONKEEEYYYSSss..."

Her voice trailed off for a second time that day as the damage to her brain, coupled with the sudden (and violent) great loss of blood, inevitably took their deadly toll. Yorihime's constant wringing and unintelligible yelling gradually died down into a deathly silence (pun not intended). Her movements slowed, and she died - perhaps rather anticlimactically - right there and then. And so it was - Watatsuki no Yorihime was no more, utterly beaten and defeated by two puny humans armed with nothing more than their equipment, their intelligence and their orders.

"Wow," noted Shooter. "That's gotta hurt."

"Thanks for what you did earlier," Blizzard acknowledged. "Wouldn't have made it out alive otherwise."

"Just doing my job, Sergeant," Shooter nodded, collecting his gear. "But a sword through the eye, bullets in her chest and a knife in the back? What a stupid way to go."

"That heavy door's still in position," Blizzard reminded him. "Are we going to blow it up, or not?"


The two Commandos sought appropriate cover a safe distance from the door to the Inner Sanctum. Pulling out the detonator for the demolition charges, Shooter pressed down on the detonator.

There was a spectacular explosion as all four M112 C-4 charges detonated. Inside each, a simple mechanical system slammed down enough pressure onto the compound, causing it to initiate (and in doing so, explode). Such an explosion could have totally destroyed, if not seriously damage, a modern-day concrete building and it was therefore no surprise the great door to the Inner Sanctum was blown to smithereens (the Lunarian designers could never have expected anyone to actually try to blow it up).

"Alright!" exclaimed Shooter, seeing the fruits of his labour as the smoke cleared.

"Hawkeye, this is Scion 1," Blizzard announced into the radio. "Blue Phoenix has been terminated. More to the point, Toy Box is open. I say again, Toy Box is open. Over."

"Scion 1, this is Hawkeye," came Reisen's radio response. "Roger. Head inside, and we'll keep watch on the outside. Hawkeye out."

"Who knows what we'll find in there," Shooter mused as Blizzard stowed his radio away.

"Only one way to find out," answered Blizzard. "Alright, let's go."

Thus, the two Commandos entered the maw of the true heart of the Moon's Imperial Palace...


I swear, it's like this is written by /tg/ neckbeards or something.
No. 6460
File 132851342589.png - (1.39MB , 1103x900 , 24335045.png ) [iqdb]
High-flying fruit.
No. 6464
My God, I just realized the similarities between Touhou Mother's and that guy's fic's plot.
No. 6466
the more I read that, the more I want to find who wrote it, and ram a japanese imitation sword up his ass.
No. 6505
File 132861013110.jpg - (105.68KB , 900x619 , Requiem_of_Shrine_Donation_Box_by_UNGDI_SEA.jpg ) [iqdb]
Grimdark without mentioning Warhammer 40K?

No. 6509
File 132861592110.jpg - (69.43KB , 600x694 , FUKLAW YOU COCKSUCKING WHORES.jpg ) [iqdb]
Yeah, because Warhammer 40K is the only grimdark thing out there.
No. 6519
Talking about Touhou Mother, I hate how there's too much fanon in the characterization of its Touhous.
No. 6522
You must not like much Touhou fanwork.
No. 6523

Touhou is 90% Fanon.
No. 6524
If it's not ZUN's, it's obviously fanon. If you can't deal with that, I'm afraid your place isn't here.
No. 6525
That game is actually deconstructing of your usual "Guy gets into Gensokyo" stories. The MC ends up taking over Gensokyo and modernizing it, turning it like the Outside World and exterminating most of the youkai in the process.
No. 6526
The game actually cribs its plot directly from Mother 3. You should play it.
No. 6527
File 132865953857.jpg - (153.90KB , 510x510 , 13317589.jpg ) [iqdb]
>turning it like the Outside World and exterminating most of the youkai in the process
No. 6528
If you want a youkai-free world that much, you could just, you know...leave.
No. 6530
File 132866095472.png - (550.52KB , 945x945 , a1798a93a47edee15617702774b76423.png ) [iqdb]
How is that going to get rid of the youkai?
No. 6533
Youkai are feeding on belief. If there's nobody to believe in them, they die.
No. 6539
File 132866683770.jpg - (141.14KB , 850x311 , sample_e8d72120460a624bd41a8966be1fa2572cbfeefb.jpg ) [iqdb]
I trust you'll find that the picture is very related.
No. 6543
Jesus Christ, that was horrible. This is why people should read CiLR, rather than hanging out on /jp/ all day.
No. 6546
Yeah, I never understand /jp/. Aren't they satisfied by how Yukari pwned Eirin and the rest of the Lunarians by stealing their precious sake?

Oh well, guess nobody reads the ending of CiLR after all.

"It must have been centuries since you left your hometown. I thought you were becoming distraught with homesickness, so I had some sake from the Lunar Capital prepared for you."

Yukari grinned.

That ominous smile left a deep scar in her mind, something she would never be able to forget. To make those who cannot die question the meaning of living. To make them fear the unknown, what they cannot understand.

That was the true intention behind Yukari's Second Lunar Invasion.

No. 6548
Sorry, I only read SSiB. CiLR is harder to read (lots of mythological shit, requiring lot of knowledge about Japanese gods), and I'm not sure it's been fully translated.
No. 6549

Read them. They all have already been translated. It's not hard at all.
No. 6551
Oh, they're fully translated now?
All my thanks to you, Anonymous. You are a gentleman, and a scholar.
No. 6552
That they got outsmarted by Yukari doesn't change the fact that they completely curb-stomped a lot of powerful, popular Touhous, which is what people dislike them for.
No. 6554
File 132871419188.png - (360.45KB , 700x750 , Yorihime is that awesome 13.png ) [iqdb]
Let's not go there, or this discussion will never end.
No. 6556
Hey, I'm just saying.
Don't worry, I'm not going to start that argument again.
No. 6557
File 132873080365.jpg - (364.22KB , 800x852 , 21983926.jpg ) [iqdb]
Yeah, but just reading your post make me want to answer.
So I'll just post a cute Yorihime picture, repeat that I like that character, and then we'll be able to go back to the main topic: aka ponies.
No. 6577
Somebody should write a story like that here. I sense a great untapped potential in that plot. With a good writer, it would be an epic story.
No. 6578
Hey, I would like to try that myself-
>good writer
No wait nevermind.
No. 6579
How... very optimistic of you. You know that no anon would go along with that plan of modernizing Gensokyo and making humans superior to youkai.

There's still hope though. Just add some romance with Keine (she will obviously side with the humans)
No. 6580
You know, I always felt Touhou Mother is a reverse "Humanity Fuck Yeah!" story. If only the villain isn't Porky, he would have a good case of building a Gensokyo where humans aren't playthings to youkai.
No. 6581
But that wouldn't be Gensokyo. That was the whole point.
No. 6582

No. 6612
People seem to forget that Gensokyo is a pretty peaceful place these days and Akyuu just exaggerates things for entertainment (she says as much in the prenote to PMiSS)
No. 6614
Spoiler for the plot of Touhou Mother.

Porky (the supposedly-amnesiac Outsider) made an alliance with Tenshi, Kanako, Kaguya, and Eirin. They rebuilt the Human Village with skyscrapers, electricity, televisions, and all that modern stuff. Keine sided with them because the humans there welcomed all of those improvements. Yukari couldn't interfere because she and the rest of the Yakumos were already defeated and captured by Tenshi.

In the end, the youkai banded together to destroy the new Human Village (renamed to New Hinanai City).

Also, cyborg Reisen and Sanae torture scene.

No. 6615
Wait, so Reimu joined the youkai?
No. 6616
Reimu sided with Gensokyo.
No. 6617

And then a sequel happened.

While it's not complete yet (It's opnly up to chapter five right now), things haven't gotten better, in fact, they have gotten worse. Reimu apperantly nearly tears down the Great Barrier by accident and is turned into a Masked Man expy for her troubles, and Yukari has a dream where Porky tells her that the only way to keep Gensokyo in one peice is to become a tyrant, which she proceeds to then follow through on. When called out by Yuyuko that she's basicly turning into Porky, she accepts the comparison completely.

I really dislike those types of interpretations of Yukari, right under the Omnicidal Maniac interpretations.
No. 6618
Akyu is bullshitting again.
No. 6619
You forgot the part where Yuka got split into two.
No. 6620
File 132888187399.jpg - (4.21KB , 115x85 , unnamed.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 6626
Wow, just finished Chapter 1 of the sequel. I'm glad that the Touhou 12 casts are there. It really has gotten worse.

The humans still kept their technology from Porky. They ended up building roads all around Gensokyo, even by removing Yuka's sunflower field in the process.

Humans and youkai no longer trusted each other. Many humans still wanted to be led by Porky and Tenshi. The humans had even stopped believing in the gods, classifying them as youkai and marking them as enemies. This, in result, made Kanako disappear.

Tenshi got cursed by Yukari, making Iku have to bring her to the Outside World for her own safety. She ended up in Ness' hands.

Jeff somehow ended up in Gensokyo. Just as he had arrived, he was attacked by a youkai. Luckily, the pigmask army saved him. They decided to make him as the new leader of the humans, since Porky and Tenshi were gone.

Byakuren tried to mediate between the humans and the youkai but her efforts were fruitless.

This is already better than the original, in my opinion. Straight to the plot, just like I want it to be. I've been wanting a Touhou story like this for a long time.
No. 6627
Wow, that's...wow...
So everything you did in the previous game was for nothing? What the hell.
No. 6628
You know, I always think that Gensokyo is a paradise only for those who have power. If you're just an ordinary human, you're pretty much screwed.
No. 6629
File 132889751678.jpg - (3.64KB , 126x93 , 1319147957776s.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 6630
File 132889786825.jpg - (5.01KB , 252x231 , 1319147712708s.jpg ) [iqdb]
This actually happened in the sequel.
No. 6631
You forgot the part where practically all of the residents of Youkai Mountain had given up being youkai to live in the new Human Village
No. 6632
File 132889944196.jpg - (6.01KB , 251x166 , 1311253753632s.jpg ) [iqdb]
I think it's more like this.
No. 6633
Hey, do the Taoists appear there? They'll support the humans obviously.
No. 6634
File 132890104389.jpg - (245.26KB , 1200x1714 , aya despair2.jpg ) [iqdb]
Stop it! Stop it!!
No. 6635

...So is there a source for this picture?

And an aya despair1.jpg?
No. 6636
That'd be a bit silly to bullshit in something that basically says "the contents aren't exactly true"

Nothing in the canon suggests a normal villager's life is fearfilled or terrible. But I'm sure you'll just ignore than to support your grimderpery.
No. 6637
Ummm, it's still canon that Rumia would gladly eat people. I'm not sure for the townfolks, but it's canon that an outsider's lifespan is fairly short (mainly because they're too dumb to live "Ooooh, a cute little girl, come here-").
The main trouble for the villagers is probably the lack of Internet. Poor folks.
No. 6639
File 132892862691.png - (144.22KB , 387x361 , e6201b1bd4769d3736dae520cc3bcd8c.png ) [iqdb]
At least it's better than this.
No. 6641

No. 6642
>Just about the only thing in common between youkai is that they attack and prey upon humans.

Says Akyu in PMiSS.
No. 6643
That damn doujin had ruined her image forever!
No. 6644
File 132894219115.jpg - (27.77KB , 512x384 , kaboom2.jpg ) [iqdb]
Oh, don't be like that. You shouldn't let one interpretation of a character dominate your own perception of her.
No matter how powerful it is.

There's 7, actually.

That one's from some Stripe Pattern doujin. I forget what it's called, but it's their only book with Aya, so it shouldn't be hard to find.
No. 6645
Just finished Chapter 4. Shit keeps getting crazier.

I didn’t expect Byakuren to side with the humans and Sanae to side with the youkai. After all, most of Touhou fandom sees Byakuren as the “Youkai Jesus” and Sanae as that "pyscho youkai exterminator". Oh well, Byakuren ended up betraying them in the end after being persuaded by Sanae.

Jeff still sided with the humans till the end, when his ship that’s going to destroy the Hakurei Barrier got hijacked by SDM under Yukari’s command.

Oh well, because this is Touhou, I’m sure everything’s going to end well.

No. 6646
File 132896504261.jpg - (211.86KB , 700x905 , vegetarian.jpg ) [iqdb]
Your spoiler tags are appreciated.
No. 6647
File 132897754372.jpg - (167.07KB , 778x486 , He's actually a human from the Human Village .jpg ) [iqdb]
Be they fairies, gods, or vampires...
They're our enemies because they're unfamiliar to us.
So we group them together and call them "youkai".
No. 6648
I sure hope so. The Mother half of it makes it pretty unpredictable.
When is it going to be completed, I wonder?
No. 6651
Rumia isn't exactly a fearsome predator and it's more "it's what Youkai are supposed to do" than a true hunger. That and I'm sure there's enough stupid lolicon outsiders to cover the times when she actually feels like having
someone for dinner.

Too bad it's what people do: go with whatever's popular than using their own damn brains. I'm still dreading the sudden influx of stories with mind rapist Koishi. It's bad enough that a few stories on the site go this route before it was "trendy".

Not if the grimderp angle keeps up. I wonder what is it about Gensokyo that makes people what to grimderp it up. I'd imagine in some godforsaken pony site, there's some grimderp pony stories.

After all, making things grim and dark is cool and edgy, despite WH40K being a parody in nature and Frank Miller turning himself into a joke
No. 6652

For every story where Gensokyo is getting it's ass handed to it, there's another where Gensokyo is kicking ass.

Plus, Gensokyo is filled with superpowered cheaters with bullshit powers. Which is why Yukari is usually the villain in those sort of stories.
No. 6653
I wouldn't call it grimderp if it's of the same quality as the last game.
Though it still sure as hell pisses me off that he went with that plot. It's such a huge kick in the balls to save Gensokyo as we know it in the last game just to have it go to shit anyway by the time of the sequel.
I'll reserve my judgement until I actually play it and see it for myself, but as is...ugh. I cannot fucking stand apocalypse stories, in any form.

No. 6654
>For every story where Gensokyo is getting it's ass handed to it, there's another where Gensokyo is kicking ass.
Is there?
No. 6655
File 132901074690.jpg - (10.31KB , 305x65 , DoomedEvilGrin.jpg ) [iqdb]
>grimdark Gensokyo
My body and my mind are ready. Come at me, I'll shoot down all your LOL GRIMDARKS story.
And if guns don't do the trick, my chainsaw will do.
No. 6656

There is. Whether they're actually any GOOD is up for debate.


Fighting Grimdark with Grimdark? Basicly the same thing.
No. 6658
File 132903163124.jpg - (132.36KB , 900x900 , rarity_scarlet_by_johnjoseco-d3gahfu.jpg ) [iqdb]
To bring this thread back in topic...


Scarlet Devil Pony

It was an average night at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Well, almost. A week ago, Flandre Scarlet finished watching the first season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on her "slightly" burnt computer, and now she couldn't get enough. Over the week she was browsing pictures and fanfics, until today...
"...You want to what?" Remilia asked her younger sister.
"Visit Equestria! I wanna see those ponies in person!"
"Alright, but where is it, It's obviously not in Gensokyo."
"It's, um..."
"I doubt it's even beyond the Hakurei Border."
"Well, maybe we should ask Sakuya to find out about it. Sakuya!"
In an instant, Sakuya appeared before the vampire sisters.
"Yes, My ladies?"
"We need you to find out where Equestria is."
"Equestria? Is that a world apart from ours?"
"Not sure, but yeah, we think so."
"Well, if it's another world, maybe Yukari might know more. I'll go pay her a visit."
"No need." A voice boomed from seemingly nowhere. A purple portal with red ribbons, known as one of Yukari's "Gaps", opened up above Flandre and Yukari jumped out.
"So, you wanted to know about Equestria, right?"
Remilia spoke up. "Yes, my little sister wants to go there and see the ponies, as she roughly put it."
Yukari chuckled. "Well, if that's what you all want, I suppose I could move the mansion there for a week."
"Why a week?"
"Want to be there longer? I can set my alarm clock to a month later if you want."
"A week will do, Yukari."
Flandre cheered. "Yay! We're going to Equestria!"
Yukari began doing her thing, and soon everyone's vision began to fade and their forms changed. Soon, everyone was unconscious... well, except for Yukari.
"Fufufufu. I guess I better head towards my nap now..." The now alicorn raised a hoof and opened one of her gaps. She lightly laughed as the gap closed behind her.

Remilia was the first to awaken, confused and disoriented. She looked at where her hands used to be, and instead saw red-pink hooves.
"What.. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?!" Remilia's scream woke the other newly-transformed ponies.
"My lady, what's wrong?"
"What's worng! I've turned into a... a..."
"A Pony! YAY!" Flandre was giddy with excitement. She bounced around twice before tripping over herself.
"Ouch... guess it'll take a little practice to get this whole four legs thing down."
"Ok, so what am I supposed to do for a week while we're here?"
"Oh, I know! You can come with to visit the ponies!"
"Sure, I'll just walk outside in the middle of the day. Last I checked, hooves aren't good for holding things!"
"My lady, I could hold your parasol... with my mouth I guess."
"No, that won't do... Sakuya."
"Prepare the scarlet mist."
"Yes, my lady."
No. 6660
What, you expect the humans would willingly abandon their science and technology, to abandon their skyscrapers, cars, electricity and all of that modern stuff? They wanted those improvements. Porky only gave them a little "nudge" to make them realize that they had the potential to be stronger than the youkai they always feared. This isn't one of those normal incidents where you can just beat the shit out of the culprit and be done with it. Heck, I can't even guess how the story's gonna end, at least happily.

Also, the sequel took place in autumn and probably would end in winter. Bracing myself for Snow End.

No. 6661
Don't try and justify it. It doesn't help.
No. 6663
Just finished the beta and now I can safely say that the story's gonna end in a happy note.

The solution is to harness the Dragon's power to recreate Gensokyo.

Waiting warmly for the full release.
No. 6670
Having Yukari as a villain is a cheap move that's only done these days by either newbies or total hacks.
No. 6672
So, the villain should be Kanako then.
No. 6674
That's even worse as that's more out of line than having Yukari as a villain.
No. 6675
If you make a touhou character, crossover character, or original character a villain, you're a cheap hack.
No. 6677
So, Owen is a cheap hack, then?
No. 6679
So, if you have a villain in your story, you're a cheap hack, hu?
Okay then. I'm a cheap hack.
No. 6681
Umm, so there must be no villains at all in a Touhou fanfic?
No. 6684
Plot is for cheap hacks
No. 6685
Argumentation too, apparently.
No. 6689
That's not what I'm saying. Yukari could be a villain but most go the cheap "gaps you into gensokyo for shits and giggles route" as opposed to something that takes effort, same with making an Aya that's not an overzealous paparazzi.
No. 6690
In other words, you want original characterizations?
No. 6692
Characterizations with effort? Yes. I'm not saying disregard the character completely, but rather don't take pages from IOSYS flashes or most gag comics.
No. 6694
File 132912805861.png - (733.22KB , 500x699 , 514c5d3aa66e52cf780076eac64f24f7.png ) [iqdb]
Pic probably not related.
No. 6695
File 132912839261.jpg - (0.98MB , 1900x950 , Hallucinations.jpg ) [iqdb]
Pic probably not related.
No. 6696
If you're interested, there's that story in /underground/ that deals with the same issue in that game, that is coexistence between humans and youkai. It also takes place in a semi-advanced Gensokyo. I think it's called "A Clockwork Visit". Why don't you check it out? It could use more votes.

And no, I'm not tripless Sukima.
No. 6697
If you're interested, there's that story in /underground/ where mankind is wiped out by youkais.
No. 6698
What story?
No. 6708

Too bad that if your characterization of a Touhou is different from another persons characterization, you're considered a cheap hack.
No. 6710
Is it true that the only reason humans are needed in Gensokyo is because they are needed as food for the youkai (either literally or figuratively since they need human fears to keep existing)?

If so, then I fully support the efforts to modernize Gensokyo.
No. 6711
The fear/faith aspect you mentioned, and because they're all youkai hunters on some level. They don't belong in the modern world any more than the youkai.
Besides, I'd be willing to bet that the average Gensokyo human is happier with his life than the average modern outsider anyway.
No. 6712
Go to Spacebattles. You will find a lot of "Touhou kicking ass" stories there.
No. 6714
You mean the site with brilliant threads like:
>Weakest Touhou character that can beat North Korea
>Yukari vs Galactus
>Flandre vs Etna
and countless other powerlevel threads?
No. 6716
nice italics brah
No. 6796
You know, there's already a Touhou Mother CYOA here, albeit an unfinished one.

However, if you expect it to have a serious plot like in the game, you're in for a big disappointment.

Anon wants Yuka to rape the shota MC.
No. 6808
Youkai need humans to exist but humans don't need youkai to exist.

Youkai are beings grounded in fantasy while humans are beings grounded in reality.

Fantasy will eventually fade away while reality will always exist.

That is why humans, in the end, will always be superior to youkai.
No. 6811
Not in Gensokyo.
No. 6821
Actually, this makes we wonder about something: which non-humans could live without human faith?

Yukari, the immortals, and the residents of other dimensions like the Netherworld and Higan are some of the ones that I imagine could manage pretty well.

But what of those who are part-human, like Keine and Rinnosuke, and what of those who used to be human, like Alice and Byakuren?
No. 6822
I'm pretty sure the Lunarians could live without human faith.
No. 6823
I don't think youkai need human faith to survive as long as they stay in Gensokyo. If they did, it would sort of eliminate the point of the place.
No. 6824
I don't think humans need oxygen to survive as long as they stay in Earth's atmosphere. If they did, it would sort of eliminate the point of the thing.
No. 6825
Earth wasn't consciously, specifically created as a place where humans can survive. It came first, and we evolved to live here.
Your metaphor doesn't quite work. Try again.
No. 6826
You're not getting the joke.
No. 6827
I'm not?
No. 6828
>>6824 is making fun of >>6823 but you're taking him seriously.
No. 6844
People should stop making curbstomp Touhou crossover fics. I mean, do we really need to show our fandom "superiority" by making Touhous beat the shit out of other fictional characters?
No. 6845
You're missing the point.
No. 6846
Powerlevel discussion incoming.
No. 6855
File 132958629720.jpg - (428.83KB , 850x655 , sample_eac0d9403b07752ec48025b3ae1fadac69c4de65.jpg ) [iqdb]
Very well then.

First question : Tenshi vs Yukari

totally not inspired by Touhou Mother where somehow she managed to beat Yukari, twice
No. 6859

As you can see,
No. 6860
No. 6861
I see they've gotten rid of that horribly blatant Remilia background.

Still no reason not to use the other wiki over it, though.
No. 6862
I think you meant the touhouwiki I hope.
No. 6863
In the wikia's defense, the wiki's nowhere near as superior as it was before that big revamp.
No. 6867
So, basically, you're saying the wikia is still relatively worse than the wiki, but not by as wide a margin as it was before, and even that's only due to a change on the wiki, not an improvement on the wikia.

That's...not much of a defense, really.
No. 6869
Is this better or worse than a powerlevel discussion? I apologize for not spending an extra second while googling, in any case.
No. 6874
The strange thing is that only the western fandom thinks Yukari as some kind of omnipotent being.
No. 6875
And your evidence for this claim is...?
No. 6883

This website for a start.
No. 6885
I mean it in the "why the hell do you think that only western fandom considers Yukari as being almighty'? I read many doujins where Yukari is the big boss around, doing as she pleases, and often saving the day.
No. 6886
why so monolithic representation of the other
No. 6887
File 132969755775.jpg - (27.39KB , 576x384 , what the fuck.jpg ) [iqdb]
>why so monolithic representation of the other
No. 6888
File 132969770186.png - (110.53KB , 323x237 , Black Minority.png ) [iqdb]
>why so monolithic representation of the other
Stop listening to rap music, dude.
No. 6889

Because Japan.
Japan is why.

Or, as a better explanation: Yukari isn't Divine nor a Goddess, therefore Japan thinks she's weaker than those that are Divine and/or Goddesses. a.k.a the Aki sisters could possibly kick her ass. The Japanese are rather religious folk.

While us over in the West aren't so religious, plus the fact that we up power levels so it reaches insane levels.

I might be missing something though.
No. 6890
I have no idea what you're talking about. The western and eastern fanbases seen to have the same bullshit memes and preconceptions when I look through translated fan material.
No. 6891
Ha, finally a good argument!

>why so monolithic representation of the other
the more I read that, the more my head hurts.
No. 6892
>therefore Japan thinks she's weaker than those that are Divine and/or Goddesses. a.k.a the Aki sisters could possibly kick her ass.
No. 6893
Funny enough, according to translated fanworks, Reimu is the only one able to kick Yukari's ass. And it's mostly for comical purposes. Most often, Yukari is the overlord ruling over Gensokyo.
No. 6894
File 132973565082.jpg - (1.22MB , 1560x1140 , last-boss-smell.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 6901
File 13297588017.jpg - (1.60MB , 522x5785 , Porky's kinda badass in this pic.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 6902
Touhou Mother should be about Porky invading the Lunarians.
No. 6904
I think it's amazing how similar Tenshi and Porky are. Both are villains who do evil things just because they're bored.
No. 6905
inb4 Eirin vs Dr.Andonuts
No. 6931
I want an eroge with Tenshi as the main girl...
No. 6933
I want one with her as the protagonist. I'm bored, I'm gonna go fuck (up) Gensokyo.
No. 6934
Fallout Equestria = Fallout Gensokyo
No. 6935
Is it bad that I'm kinda interested in MLP now after reading a crossover where the Touhous turn into ponies?
No. 6936
File 132992365080.jpg - (636.85KB , 1440x1440 , 14503926.jpg ) [iqdb]
Why would that be bad? Now watch the show and decide whether you like it or not. It's on youtube, despite Hasbro's best efforts.
No. 6937
File 132992444236.png - (383.32KB , 1196x651 , 87920 - artist 3maxa celestia sleeping twilight_sp.png ) [iqdb]
Don't let anyone decide for you, and decide by yourself.

However, keep in mind that the "brony" community is not the best community around.
No. 6938
I would like a link or the name of this crossover, thanks.
No. 6939
No. 6940
Bleaugh. Stuff like this is what makes me hate MLP more so than anything else.
No. 6941
Huh. I admire your tolerance.

Like Touhou fans are any better.
No. 6942
Speaking of Touhou anime...
No. 6943
I like how Cirno basically vaporizes herself the second she makes contact with the water.
No. 6944

This is sad, man.
No. 6945
I love how they always portray Lunarians as Moon Nazis over there.

And by love, I mean hate.

Sorry, but Eirin can't build robots. She's a pharmacist, you know.

Besides, robots are very effective against Lunarians since they are essentially pure by being lifeless objects.
No. 6946
File 132998690811.jpg - (413.60KB , 1020x720 , Bow to me the Comissar.jpg ) [iqdb]
Most of them probably don't know shit about those wacky Nazis.
No. 6969
it doesn't help that Nazi were all about PURITY.
No. 6970
Can we avoid that topic before moongirls fanboy starts explaining the differences between the lunarians and the nazis? There are many way to derail a thread, but I'd rather deal with the spanish inquisition rather than the nazis.
No. 6971
Damn it. I was just going to write a tl;dr essay about that.
No. 6972
I remember why I hate those nazis guy. It's because, when I was young and innocent, I tried to know what kind of experiences they were making.
And I saw a documentary about that. Nothing breaks your mind faster than seeing a guy folding a baby. And I heard later that they did worse than that.
No. 6986
File 13300590536.png - (213.12KB , 600x438 , 21189288_m.png ) [iqdb]
My new OTP.
No. 6995
That is why Human/Youkai relationship should be forbidden.
No. 6996
Psh. Extending lifespan is cheap in Touhou. If she wanted it badly enough, she could find a way.
No. 6998
Based on what? Only humans with longevity that immediately come to mind are Mokou and Sakuya, and elixirs of immortality or servitude to a vampire with fate hax don't seem particularly common, even in Gensokyo.
No. 7000
Yuyuko said about Mokou (IN extra stage):
"Don't eat her.
Her poison will curse you. "

In other words, you can be immortal if you eat the flesh from either a healthnut living in the labyrinthic bamboo forest able to control fire and able to deal with a lot of punishment before giving up, or the moon princess protected by a moon rabbit able to make you crazy, a moon genius able to make you wish you could die, and a trickster bunny able to deceive you.

In other words, it's still possible. Good luck.
No. 7012
Humans can become youkai, hermits, or celestials. That's in addition to lifespan-increasing spells and potions, like Marisa's half-baked immortality potion. Or simply refusing to move on, like Yuyuko. Or whatever other method you can think up.

Granted, the average human isn't going to have access to any of this.
No. 7035
File 133021427855.jpg - (107.12KB , 1280x720 , 1330210180602.jpg ) [iqdb]
>MLP and Touhou
>196 posts and 35 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
No. 7036
To be fair, it stopped being about MLP about 1/3 of the way through.
No. 7040
>He doesn't know that Spacebattles is the second THP.
No. 7041
Fight shit with shit?
No. 7042
>he thinks that THP is as terrible as Spacebattles
Fag please.
No. 7045
>The My Little Pony fandom is like Touhou's. By that I mean this little bit of media has brought out our collective creativeness and turn in it something completely wonderful. Touhou's fans may have created a few more ambitious projects, but we are still relatively young community. One thing has set us above our Eastern counterpart however in my humble eyes it that we have a heart. My Little Pony's message of love and tolerance has changed us all for the better. There may a few trolls and jerks amongst us but on the whole we are a positive community, one I am glad to be a part of.

So, we don't have a heart?
No. 7046
>My Little Pony's message of love and tolerance has changed us all for the better.
Hahaha, yeah right. Admins are self-important assholes, artists are arrogants, and writers are threatening you if you don't like their stories.
No. 7057
>He doesn't know that a lot of writefags around here come from Spacebattles.

Heck, even that Patchy Quest story idea came from that place.
No. 7058
Man, if that's true then move me from the 'neutral' column to the 'irked' regarding my feelings on that site.
No. 7063
You have a problem with that story?
No. 7064
Yeah. It looks like a cheap ripoff of MSPaint adventures.
No. 7065
MSPA invented bolding.
No. 7069
No. 7078
There's more serious issues with it, such as how the side stuff including Yukkuri is running wild and how it seems to have invited some of /th/'s undesirables into /sdm/ (and /others/)
No. 7079
>/th/'s undesirables
The ones who keep wanting Patchy to curbstomp the wizards from Harry Potter while being smug about it?
No. 7080
File 133041206631.jpg - (57.23KB , 172x213 , Stupid.jpg ) [iqdb]
>and how it seems to have invited some of /th/'s undesirables into /sdm/ (and /others/)
No. 7081
That is along the lines of behavior seen in such folk. If they were contained within Patchy Quest or Yukkuri quest alone, there would be no issue but there's been slight signs of them leaking out into other stories.
No. 7106
That attitude comes from Spacebattles, where they love to bash Harry Potter while worshiping Touhou, MLP, Madoka, ZnT, and Nanoha.
No. 7116
File 13304991294.jpg - (5.95KB , 258x195 , internet detective.jpg ) [iqdb]
List of stories linked at that site's recommendation thread:
1. Doll's Quest
2. Patchy's Quest
3. City Quest
4. Do The Right Thing
5. A Wizard is You

Yep, I think that site is responsible for the sudden increase of faggotry in this site.

Also, I found out Kahi's nick on that site. It's Chibi Reaper.
No. 7117
Angry Desu is there, too.
No. 7118
File 133052121241.jpg - (1.08MB , 1000x1300 , 25386623.jpg ) [iqdb]
This thread somehow got even stupider. I'm proud of you all.
No. 7119
/blue/ has always been stupid.
No. 7121
No. 7125
File 133053298988.jpg - (49.98KB , 328x480 , nope_avi.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 7130
Thing is unlike Kahi's stuff, Wizard and DtRT are actually pretty good.
No. 7131
Thing is, opinion, opinion opinion.
No. 7137
Indeed. I find Patchy fun, City odd, and haven't open Doll's Quest. Deme's been gone too long for me to care about Wizard, though I hope he returns eventually.

Oh, and ASSM was a great story.
No. 7154
>Doll's Quest
Seriously, that's the main reason of the shitstorms going on there (mainly anons blaming /th/ for their stupidity).
No. 7155
There's one guy, possibly two, calling /th/ stupid.

I also think they're wrong, because any given anon is most likely to frequent more than one board.

And while I obviously have no proof that this is so, neither do they have any proof that it is not.
No. 7158
>going to many boards

you'd be wrong as I've heard many preferring to stick around to /th/ (the most stories), the creepers who stick to /at/ only, Teruyo's retarded fanbase, etc. If anon visited a decent number of boards usually, then most of the boards would be doing better than they are now.

/th/-only anon would be better if /th/ wasn't a place where newbies go to writer and burn out when it's clear that their (obviously overdone) idea isn't a smash hit. Lackluster talent level tends to make lackluster reader base.

On a similar note, I really wish newbies would take some time to read the current stuff in addition to the classics as this would prevent so many bland ideas. Just because such ideas were fresh and great at the time of say MiG, doesn't mean they'd be now in 2012 barring some exceptionally talented writing.
No. 7159

I'll have to back this guy up on insular anons (while not being an example), but I'll be damnned if /at/ anons can't smell out the choice for a smut scene in any story. It seems that if any cutesy (or more provocative) option pops up, there are suddenly a lot more voters.
No. 7161
>Teruyo's retarded fanbase
That's funny because they tend to be the type of people who read most things on the site. Or different things in any case. Generally pensive and active bunch as well. So don't take your own frustrations out on them.

The problem isn't that people don't go to other boards, a lot of them do. Casual stalking tracking of voters shows that the average person votes in a handful of stories across various boards. What is rare is having people who vote in more than one story per board, save for /th/ (and I guess /at/) or for them to visit more than 3 boards.

The only solution to that is word of mouth and getting people you know to be more active/adventurous unfortunately.
No. 7162
On the subject of /at/ people, I know that there are a good number of people that go to THP only for /at/ and don't venture off that board. They probably don't even read anything on /at/ and just come for the cosplay/doujin threads.

I'd say an increase in votes for smut-based choices is simply because anon is a pervert. And then you also get counter-votes for people who don't want to see any of that crap.
No. 7173
>Alternate, somewhat cliche idea for the patchy hogwarts dealie. She gets hired as defense instructor. Probably as part of a last ditch effort by Dumbledore to give the job to "anyone not Umbridge", where he just spams letter after letter out to essentially everyone in the world he can look up somehow that seems even vaguely qualified. Qualifications being 'Has magic, can use it to killify things, probably safe to have around children' or something. Gensokyo probably qualifies as 'unplottable' or 'under something similar, if you squint, to the Fidelius thing'... MAGIC. But there's likely records of her from outside if you assume that the mansion wasn't in there right from the start, and she's likely not old enough for him to assume she's dead of old age yet, given his own advanced years. Or there's some spell that can confirm if someone's alive or dead, or something, I don't know. MAGIC. Any agreement to get Patchy moving likely involves the exchange of rare books and/or spell reagents or something.

>Then things go downhill, because whatever records of her exist are probably pretty darn choppy, and glossed over her Clearly Dark Nature (Not human, considers humans a valid food source if she really feels like bothering with the whole 'eating' deal, Koakuma, friendly with vampires, Koakuma), and suddenly he's quietly looking for some way to dismiss her and get back to dealing with the devil he knows. On the other side of the fence, The Dark Side isn't happy with her being around, because in spite of all the Dark Magic she fiddles with, she just plain refuses to go mad with power, go on a torture spree on the inferior magic-less scum populating the world, or try to kill Harry Potter, as general convention dictates.

>So Patchy's sitting right in the middle of the two sides of the fence that want her Gone, and she basically just doesn't give a shit, summoning Balrogs to do her laundry because she's allergic to house-elf dandruff or something, kidnapping noted non-magical scientists to hold long discourses over how things have advanced while she was off doing her own thing, with no regard for established conventions or rules for behavior. She isn't going to quit the job, because she wants the [MYSTIC PLOT DEVICE THINGY] she's been promised, Dumbledore can't fire her because in spite of her quirks she's actually the best instructor for the class he's managed to hire since ever and none of the nitpicking he does ever manages to outweigh that. He can dock her pay for infractions and whatnot, but when it comes down to it it's not like she's doing this for money or absolutely has to eat things to survive, so she just goes on not caring. And Voldemort can't quietly kill her off because she keeps royally fucking up everyone he sends to take a shot, and counters by sending him mini-'thulu larvae in the post or something.

>Then Marisa shows up, because the library got locked down or something but she figures there's no way that patchy would go somewhere without magic books, she blasts down castle walls with her own display of zero-fucks-given, and demands that Patchy let her borrow something because she's going into withdrawals.

>Later, she gets bored and steals Gringotts. All of it.

>Harry keeps bothering her for personal, advanced tutoring, to help him fulfill his Epic Destiny and Defeat the Dark Lord. Draco does much the same, not out of any real interest, but because that's what Harry's doing, and he wants to dick the scarhead over as much as possible, and can't do that if he falls too far behind. Both try "subtly" to sway her to the Correct side of the conflict.

>Patchy keeps brushing them off because she honestly doesn't care about the squabble and has no intention of getting involved, and she can detect their lack of sufficient interest and drive to be even a half decent apprentice type. She's here to do a job and get paid for it, they'll learn what she teaches in class if that much, depending on their own ability or lack thereof, unless they find something sufficiently interesting to bribe her into further lessons with.

>Draco spectacularly fails to sway her with daddy's money, because one of her spells is 'Philosopher's Stone', so it can be assumed that gold is not something she's in short supply of.

>Hm, might actually do something with this. Question would be whether it's an outright story, or if I do some kind of choose your own adventure/quest thing.

I think it has to do with the author, too.
No. 7174
Big surprise
No. 7177
>Later, she gets bored and steals Gringotts. All of it.

BULLSHIT. That is overpowered bullshit right there. Marisa does not have the power, nor the resources to do that. If it was Yuakri, fine, I'd let that slide. But Marisa? Fuck no.
No. 7178
Umm, I think that refers to Patchouli.
No. 7187
File 133071407695.jpg - (71.09KB , 600x650 , 4d822f670240779cca53a9783166e028017973e2.jpg ) [iqdb]
>Clearly, the Balrogs should be saved for grocery runs. Gallon of milk, loaf of bread, barrel of ground tea leaves, two of those giant spiders from the forest, one living and one dead, a new tea service, and pick up a catalogue from the 'automobile dealer' so she can start working out these newfangled outside world contraptions they're using these days instead of the familiar, comfortable, horse-and-carriage system.

>Pic Related.

It's almost as if I just wasn't taking all of my own amusing banter entirely seriously or something~
No. 7190
Regarding Touhou and Harry Potter, I find it disturbing how many people idolize Yuuka and Bellatrix. Both are unrepentant psychopaths who would kill a person without any regrets yet there's a bazilion HP fics out there that make Bellatrix as one of the "good guys" while villainizing Dumbledore and Ron.
No. 7191


>unrepentant psychopath

About that...
No. 7194
I, in turn, find it disturbing that someone who has read 'a bazilion HP fics' hangs around this site.

Considering some of the ideas you've implemented in your stories...
No. 7218
>Touhou Mother CYOA
If only it were a CYOA...

Haven't had a good BAAAWWWING thread in a while.
No. 7247
>...wait, WHAT. That's IT? You don't even get to punish Porky, he just PISSES OFF? NO, game. NO. We call that crappy storytelling. We call that jerking the player around. I hate to refer to this word but...this is pretty much fail.

Yep, pretty much.
No. 7307
Bah, if they wanted to make it more like Mother 3, they should've killed a Touhou early in the story (preferably Mima because she's acting as Marisa's mother). And no, she wouldn't come back in the end.
No. 7308
They should have killed Reimu's mom. The strongest Hakurei miko.
No. 7309
No. 7310
Reimu's mom. The person who gave birth to her. You know.
No. 7311

Bro, you're sounding sort of ass ravaged. Especially when you break out with the tilde.
No. 7312
break up with the tilde
sever, man. sever.
No. 7345
Ah yes, that GLH dude (namefaggotry and using emoticons) comes from that site. Talking about writing a ZnT/Touhou crossover but never posting it and using it as a justification for his namefagging. He created quite a shitstorm back then. Turns out he's a longtime user of that site (almost reaching 10k posts) by the name Robo Jesus.
No. 7352
File 133119594531.jpg - (53.71KB , 561x638 , haters.jpg ) [iqdb]
Yep, totally forgot that I had the name in the name field at the time, posted something, watched people make mountains out of molehills. It was kind of amusing in how pathetic is was, but anyways... if you're curious, I did write a few small snippets over on sb regarding that story premise, and am still typing out a few words on it now and then, though it isn't very long (which bugs the ever living fuck out of me). Just wanted to get a feel for it and all that as I tried to plot things out. However, the thing I'm curious about is why you singled me out specifically here, especially considering the context you're using me in this little argument of yours is one in which I argue against that sort of bullshit. Making any character into an unbeatable sue hurts the ability to tell any story just on the premise that it kills conflict, and that's before one even gets into whether or not the argument for why "Character X is unbeatable" is or is not full of shit to begin with (and really, if you knew what you were talking about, you would be laying into posters such as Barricade and whatnot for that over on sb). But eh, I figure it's just a combination of you just liking easy soundbite sized answers (such as those provided via scapegoating and strawmanning), and the fact that I'm easily memorable. I would however advise you that if you're going to bitch or run down something/someone, that you at least know enough so that it isn't so easily called out for being the bullshit that it is though.
No. 7353
File 13312008615.jpg - (8.66KB , 200x200 , What a faggot you are.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 7354
I will resume his post in a nutshell if you don't like wall of texts:
>boo hoo hoo Anon hates me because I'm a scapegoat
>I am still writing a story
>people singling me out are assholes overreacting
>blah blah blah Sue blah blah story blah blah
>come at me bro

And, and also a few things about plot. Like a guy who never wrote a story knows shit about plot and characters.
No. 7355
>Thread begins with ponies
>Thread ends with a faggot
No. 7357
You know, he does kind of have a point, and you guys really are coming across as, well, /th/ styled retards. Infact, I wouldn't be surprised if >>7353 and >>7354 weren't the same person.

Ends with faggotry? That says that it will end, and considering this is THP, I see no hope of that occurring.
No. 7358
Autosage, fool.
No. 7359
You don't remember what happened to folks who try to insist that they're special snowflakes who have the god-given right to namefag and emoticons? They were either driven out or ostracized until they learned their lesson.

You're speaking on a site where most of the posters are too lazy to write. Point is it's not so much what they write but what they read. The fact GLH mainly reads space battles doesn't do him a damn favor at all.
No. 7361
/th/ is no more stupid than any other board on this site.
No. 7365
It only looks that way if you hide most of the doomed newbie trash. That and Doll Quest.
No. 7366
I'd love to hide your posts.