Archived Thread

File 131877702128.jpg - (63.31KB , 589x580 , amstrong.jpg ) [iqdb]
4860 No. 4860
So...I hearing on Neil Amstrong being a powerful being on touhou version of him, and stuff like that.
So what is Neil Amstrong in Touhou? Why he is depicted as such? I don't even remember him mentioned in games. What feat that he actually do in touhou continuity?
(I only found his name on touhou wiki that he planted plants a flag on the moon, and no more)

No. 4861
Ronald McDonald too is a powerful being in touhou. But I think you're mistaking fanon for canon. Armstrong was never mentioned in any touhou game.
No. 4863
Canonically speaking, the U.S. Government invaded the Moon and kicked commie moonbitch ass all over the place using super-technology right up until Eirin caused the Apollo 13 incident.

After Apollo 13, the invasion of the Moon was called off. I can only assume that was all the fault of the Nixon administration.

Armstrong was never mentioned by name in any material, if I recall correctly. However, he is historically the first human to set foot on the Moon.

If we combine that with the fact that, in Touhou, the Moon invasion began in 1969... well, I can only assume that his "space suit" in that picture is in fact top-secret powered armor that runs on magitek provided by former Nazi scientists after the war. The "oxygen tank" is in fact a jetpack, and the U.S. flag in the background can turn into a double lightsaber.

Goddamn, now I want a Moon Invasion CYOA.
No. 4864
File 131879323351.jpg - (197.72KB , 1024x1325 , AMERICA FUCK YEAH.jpg ) [iqdb]
The man was kneeling, praying.
He wasn't paying any attnetion to the silhouettes moving around him. He wasn't paying any attention to the fact that he was surrounded. For him, there was only one thing important. Saying his prayer properly was the top priority.

Finally, he muttered the last words.
"And God bless the United States of AMERICAAAAAAAAAAH!"
He quickly grabbed the American flag, and pressed a hidden button. The flag fell, unreveiling a double lightsaber hidden in the pole. Understanding the situation, the rabbits quickly moved back, but Armstrong activated his jetpack, and caught up with them.
He screamed, swinging his double lightsaber totally randomly in the rabbit mob.

Many rabbits bit the dust that day, and in the end, Armstrong won.
Holding a severed rabbit's head in his hand, he showed up in the front of the lunar capital, screaming a challenge.
No. 4867
File 131884781051.png - (16.87KB , 500x400 , 1207540558319.png ) [iqdb]
No. 4874
File 131900717655.jpg - (321.40KB , 864x594 , Glorious.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 4879
File 131908942987.jpg - (8.12KB , 233x216 , i love you.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 4900
Fuck yeah, humanity.
No. 4901
pity the two lunar sisters pawn us all...
No. 4902
File 131940936142.jpg - (118.21KB , 850x616 , Moon isn't a laughing matter.jpg ) [iqdb]
Slowly, the huge door opens, answering Armstrong's challenge.
With a bare sword in her hand, the lunarian champion answer the earthling's challenge, ready to fight and kill her opponent.

Breathing deeply under his suit, Armstrong stares at the woman coming for him. She looks so young, her cheeks are so white... She's beautiful. But she's the enemy. He has no choice. He challenged the moon, and the moon sent its most trustworthy champion. But, still, killing a woman goes against Armstrong's religious beliefs.
Sighing in his heavy suit, Armstrong can't help but be annoyed. If that woman was american, they could be friends, or maybe something better than that! But she decided to be lunarian, and so they were enemies.
Shutting down his double lightsaber, Armstrong throws away the rabbit's severed head, and observes his opponent again. Then, he adopt a fighting stance, and wait for his opponent's decision.

She looks at him with disgust, but she manage to hide her feelings. This is war after all. It was her decision to send the rabbits alone, and they're all dead. By that man's fault. She will cry and feel guilty after the battle. After that man's death. Because her Lord ordered her to kill every earthling walking on the moon. Everyone of them, including men, women, and children. Still, she hopes that the day when she'll have to kill children will never come. Killing that man will be easy, since he's wearing a suit. It's like fighting against a dummy. She shakes her head. She'll need to focus. That man's strange sword is something totally unknown to them lunarians.
Those earthlings. Did they managed to domesticate light itself? She can't believe it. She will make sure of that.
With that last though, she charges, causing Armstrong to switch on his double lightsaber.

After a few swing, Armstrong understands something crucial. He'll win this battle. His opponent is just using a metallic sword. That thing is no match for his double lightsaber. His opponent is far more skilled than him, but his technological advanced level gives him the best advantages.
“Bow before me, woman, and I'll spare you!”
Understanding his unavoidable victory, Armstrong becomes euphoric, nagging his opponent.

Her, on the other hand, isn't as worried as she should be. Her opponent is using a weapon able to cut through everything, including Lord Enma's blessing. That's right, that puny earthling weapon can cut through a DIVINE barrier! But when any other lunarian commander would be panicking, she stays calm, recognizing the earthling's strength. Clearly, that is not an opponent she will defeat with brutal force. She will outsmart him, and kill him.
With a loud battle scream, she jumps forward, oblivious of the light blade, aiming for the leg. That man's armour is too heavy for him, he must using some kind of mechanical assistance to be able to withstand the burden. If she can destroy that mechanical part, he'll be doomed!
With another battle scream, she swings her sword, cutting under the man's right knee. Immediately, he drops his weapons, and fall on his knee, with a grumble. She quickly jumps back, in case the attack failed, but understand quickly that the man is now at her mercy.
“So, you though you could defeat me? You were too arrogant, and this is where you fall. Learn your place, crawler!”
And then... she sees his face, through his helmet. He's smiling.
“Nobody is arrogant enough when being AMERICAN!”
Activating his jetpack, he starts flying, punching Yorihime in the chin before she can reacts.
“With SCIENCE, and GOD, we will change the stars as WE decide! The world is us, and we'll do what we want with it!”
She spits something red on the ground. Blood. She bit her tongue, probably. While Armstrong, still levitating thanks to his jetpack, try to retrieve his lightsaber, Watatsuki no Yorihime, commander of the Lunar Defense Corps, understand that this opponent is nothing to be trifled with. That's an elite soldier, using a technology as advanced as the lunarian capital, motivated by some strong religion. He will not break, he won't show any mercy, and he'll be troublesome to kill.

Smiling to herself, the Lunar Princess rises, finally admitting that the best fight is the uncertain fight. She'll give her best, and he will too. That's what you call “respect for a foe”. Giving your best to your opponent means respecting him.
No. 4906
Wow. I didn't think I'd ever end up rooting for one of the moonbitches.
No. 4909
1d4chan sum it nicely, on description of Reisen:
Reisen is a moon rabbit who deserted her frontline military position and went AWOL as Primarch Neil Armstrong and his SPEHSS MAHREENS were purging xenos in the Lunar Capital in the name of the God-President of America. If you look into her red eyes and fail your Will save, you will go batshit insane. May or may not be completely useless except for her sex appeal.
No. 4915
I'd root the moonbitches

I'd laugh if the only reason for the moon invasion was Reisen making Armstrong go crazy.
No. 4920
I'm gonna stuck with rooting for humanity on this one, because there's just something so face-meltingly badass about three men bringing an entire advanced alien race to it's knees.

Plus, I'm also human. So yeah.
No. 4921
If you ask me, I'd rather root the moon bitch than the human. Because he's american, he's a fanatical christian, and he's fucking nuts.
No. 4924
I'll choose the Lunarians' side. Yorihime needs more love.
No. 4967

Yeah, I bet you rooted for the Smurfs in Avatar too, right?

No. 4969
I root for the smurfs, too. Screw Capitalism!
No. 4973
I personally find the portrayal of Armstrong to be... disrespectful towards the man. He is a rather even tempered and tolerant man IRL.

However, I'm far more than willing to point at Haldeman's "The Forever War" for an explanation on his berserkergang against the Lunarians. Chemical and hypnotic treatments to induce a battle rage is explaination enough.

On rooting, however, I'm rooting for the Primarch... er... for Humanity. Fuck those sanctimonious Eld... Lunarians. They don't have Eldrad to save them now!
No. 4974
File 132017334246.jpg - (71.39KB , 600x439 , Use to be a gentlemen.jpg ) [iqdb]

>>4902 and >>4864 poster here.
First, I'm sorry if my depiction of Armstrong offended you.
Second, I wrote the character as a total stereotype of the typical american, as we imagine them here, in my country (aka rude, extremely religious, and xenophobic). I'm surprised by the fact that nobody here was offended by that.
Third, this is a story where Armstrong is using a double lightsaber, has a jetpack, and is fighting people without an pressured suit, on the Moon. I think this is not really realist.

I just wrote that totally randomly, and I was expecting people to rage, but they loved it. I'm aware that I totally ignored Armstrong's character, but my first idea was actually to transfrom Armstrong into Ronald McDonald.
Didn't do it in the end, because nobody likes McRoll.

TL;DR: sorry, never wrote that to be accurate, wrote it to be funny.
No. 4976
American here.
Personally, I wasn't to offended by it because, unfortunately, you're kind of right.
We are jackasses.
No. 4977
Found something interesting on Apollo 11 voice transmission:
03 23 17 28 CC
Roger. Among the large headlines concerning Apollo this morning, there's one asking that you watch for a lovely girl with a big rabbit. An ancient legend says a beautiful Chinese girl called Chang-o has been living there for 4000 years. It seems she was banished to the Moon because she stole the pill of immortality from her husband. You might also look for her companion, a large Chinese rabbit, who is easy to spot since he is always standing on his hind feet in the shade of a cinnamon tree. The name of the rabbit is not reported.

03 23 18 15 LMP
Okay. We'll keep a close eye out for the bunny girl.
No. 4979


No, but that's interesting.

Also, humans rock, the moon is a barren rock that should be devoid of any life, and communism collapsed in on itself like a chump.
No. 5158
Reading this makes me want to read a story where the Watatsukis and the rest of the Lunar Capital are portrayed in a positive light.
No. 5167
File 132153747717.jpg - (50.11KB , 350x350 , griffon_houraisan_kaguya11.jpg ) [iqdb]
That's an impossible request because as we all know nobody likes the moonbitches.
No. 5169
Eirin likes the moonbitches. They're her precious former students.
No. 5171
Are moonbitches monsters?
No. 5172
No. They're pure, unlike monsters.

humans are also monsters
No. 5173
Then I guess I am Nobody, then?
No. 5175
So Eirin should write a CYOA on this site, then?
No. 5176
File 132157594793.jpg - (790.21KB , 957x663 , 22831217.jpg ) [iqdb]
Yes. Please someone roleplay Eirin writing a CYOA about her beloved homeland.
No. 5177
That...actually sounds pretty interesting.
No. 5178
That sounds like something worth a quick short at least, but my knowledge of the moonbitches is lacking despite having read SSiB. Isn't it sad, Reisen?
No. 5179
Try reading a Cage in Lunatic Runagate. 1-2 chapters are from one of the moonsue's PoV and it has some insight on them.
No. 5180
Is that translated yet? And is the last CoLA chapter translated? I'm not checking. I know it won't be. Again.
No. 5182
See, this is one of the problems with English Touhou fandom. Loads and loads of doujins are translated quickly but nobody wants to translate official stuffs like this one.
No. 5183
Yes, on all counts, actually.
The last chapter actually explains stuff, too.

I actually find myself liking Yukari just a little bit more, now.
No. 5184
Oh, wait, I thought you meant Cage in Lunatic Runagate, not Curiosities of Lotus Asia.

Well, still, Chapter 27 and the Afterword of CoLA is also translated, so my statement still stands, kinda.
No. 5185
I thought the last chapter was youmu or yuyuko's PoV. Sounds like I'd have to check it out.

Honestly it was a problem until rather recently. Now for the PC-98 endings to be translated.
No. 5186
Remember when we didn't have three fairies translations? Those days sucked.
No. 5187
Indeed, days like those were more or less the dark ages for touhou fans in terms of accurate information being available.
No. 5191
Ah, yes, nobody cares about the PC-98 games anymore. That's why they keep making jokes that Reimu genocides Makai and kills Shinki.
No. 5192
The previous version of the endings Wiki had some of the MS endings translated enough to reveal that Shinki's still alive and doesn't seem to hold a grudge against Reimu for what happened.

People joke about the Makai massacre becuase of lol no spell cards.
No. 5194
And also because the background seems to be on fire during the fight against Shinki.
No. 5195
Wait, Reimu has fire attacks?
No. 5196
Not Reimu. But maybe Shinki. If you look on Youtube, you can find a video of the fight against Shinki, and you'll see in the last part that the background seems to be on fire.
And since there's no spellcard, it's PROBABLY not a decorative background like in the Windows game.
But, yeah, it's still about interpretation.
No. 5197
File 132170671139.jpg - (497.62KB , 600x809 , 461225.jpg ) [iqdb]
I'm kinda confused about Shinki. Does ZUN intended her to be some kind of Touhou version of Lucifer? I mean, she has those devil wings and she's the creator of the demon world including all its residents. She's also worshipped as the supreme Goddess by the demons she created.
No. 5198
Who knows. He doesn't intend her to be in the Windows games, that's for sure.
No. 5200
File 132173218680.jpg - (149.00KB , 800x451 , d1b393649442501b511bb19437e40e27.jpg ) [iqdb]
What's there to be confused about? She's the ruler of a world of demons, her capital is called Pandaemonium, she has six white angelic wings that turn demonic, and Sariel, who also resides in Makai, is explicitly called a Fallen Angel.
No. 5201
honestly from what I've seen of the games, danmaku was being used but the spell card rules basically formalized and regulated its usage.
No. 5202
Wait, where did Sariel get called as a Fallen Angel?
No. 5204
Touhou Sariel isn't but the actual angel s/he's based on is sometimes considered one in bibical mythology.

That and odds are if an angel is in Makai (a type of hell), chances are it's fallen. Though this was back before Makai was shown as a softer place.