[x] "Bitch was spyin on me since I've entered Gensokyo. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was spyin on me last night too, if you're interested. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time fo' realz. Am I right, Aya?"
Mima sweeps past you, her threadz fallin ta tha ground piece by piece as she make her way ta tha far wall, revealin every last muthafuckin inch of her pale skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. You're left starin at her naked back as her big-ass booty standz there, tappin tha floor wit one foot impatiently, illuminated only by tha soft moonlight pourin up in all up in tha windows. With a single gesture of her finger, her discarded threadz slither along tha floor n' swirl tha fuck into a soft blanket dat settlez just up in front of her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks over her shoulder at you, n' you're captivated by tha swayin of her long chronic hair.
"Well, biatch? Is we goin ta git started, or is you just goin ta stand there?"
One mornin you abruptly step tha fuck up in Gensokyo, 357 feet above tha ground, along wit half of a gangbangin' flamin airship, tha mo' betta part of clocktower, three wyverns, four giant eaglez n' a gigantic red dragon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.
“Havin a pleasant nap?” Biatch asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!
“I must be, you seem ta be up in mah dreams,” And I replied half-heartedly.
I knew dat tha game was up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seemed dat lately it had become tha fuck into suttin' of a mornin routine. Not dat I minded, though I'm shizzle she felt differently bout havin ta deal wit mah dirty ass.
“Is you shizzle it isn't a nightmare?” A steady n' unemotionizzle voice fo' realz. Alarm bells went off up in mah head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!
Meilin lifts her cap up wit one finger, n' tha cornerz of her grill quirk up in a lazy smile once her big-ass booty spots yo thugged-out ass. "Finally decided ta show up, huh?"
Yo ass saunter over ta tha side of tha gate opposite hers n' lean against it, foldin yo' arms n' chillaxin as though you had every last muthafuckin right ta be there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. "I figured dat shiznit was bout time, yes yo. How've mah playas been on they visits?"
Bitch steps forward ta git some space, then stretches her arms above her head, her whole body strainin up in a intensely fascinatin manner up in tha process. "Polite enough, though a shitload mo' stiff than you were."
"Thatz phat ta hear," you say, on tha fuckin' down-lowly grateful dat thugged-out biiiatch cannot peep all up in yo' visor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "Howz any suckas holdin up?"
Bitch settlez back against tha wall, foldin her arms behind her head ta cushion it against tha brickwork. "Remiliaz bustin well, Sakuya n' tha maidz is up in phat order, n' Patchouli aint stopped beatboxin eva since her big-ass booty saw what tha fuck you did ta her library, which is both straight-up impressive n' kind of terrifying!"
Meilingz smile be a vague shade of worried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Not goin ta lie ta you here, I be thinkin she might straight-up bust a cap up in her muthafuckin ass all up in sheer, incandescent hatred of yo thugged-out ass."
"What a muthafucka," you say, not straight-up feelin dat shit.
Fallout-style openings converted to ghetto speak are simply hilarious.
Fallout: New Gensokyo
War... Battle never chizzles.
It be tha inevitable result of tha path humanitizzle had chosen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Everyone whoz ass entered tha fuck into tha conflict fo' resources expected victory. Everyone was optimistic. But as tha hostilitizzles blew tha fuck up, optimizzle faded n' society fuckin started ta collapse.
Oblivious ta tha rest of tha ghetto, a paradise of fantasy n' magic thrived up in a hidden valley inside Japan, isolated by a bangin magic barrier n' shit. In tha land of Gensokyo, legendary monstas known as youkai found a safe haven from a society dat vehemently negated they existence wit each advancement of science fo' realz. As tha Outside ghetto marched on, tha Eastside Paradise remained stuck up in tha 19th century. Its denizens enjoyed on tha down-low n' simple lives, upholdin ancient traditions n' practicin esoteric rituals lost ta tha history of tha Outside ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.
That was until dat fateful day, when tha whole ghetto chizzled.
In October 23rd of 2077, tha storm of Ghetto Battle had come again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. A pimped out cleansing, a atomic spark struck by human hands, quickly raged outta control. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Spearz of nuclear fire drizzled from tha skies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Continents was swallowed up in flames n' fell tha fuck beneath tha boilin oceans. In two brief hours, most of tha hood was reduced ta cinders, nearly wiped clean of game yo. Humanitizzle was almost extinguished, they spirits becomin part of tha background radiation dat blanketed tha earth.
Da Great Barrier sheltered Gensokyo from da most thugged-out shitty of it yo, but not even tha youkaiz most bangin spells could withstand tha terrifyin juice of tha atom. Debilitated by a volley of nuclear warheads, tha boundary between trip n' realitizzle fuckin started ta wane. Rifts ta tha Eastside Paradise rocked up all over tha wastelands. Wanderers n' scavengers found they way tha fuck into tha land of youkai n' magic, n' so did tha abominations born from radiation.
Da Outsidaz brought tha technologizzle n' culture of tha Oldskool Ghetto wit em. But up in turn, they disbelief up in legendz supposed a pimped out blow ta tha local youkai. Many weak beings vanished cuz of lack of faith, while tha stronger ones was forced ta forgo they mystical powers up in order ta adapt ta tha New World. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Clingin ta game, a shitload of dem turned feral n' beat down wanderers indiscriminately, becomin yet another dark shiznit of tha wastelands. Da majoritizzle of tha youkai dat retained they sanitizzle united beneath tha flag of tha Moriya Gods, all bout restore tha oldschool traditions n' lawz of Gensokyo.
While tha Moriya army annexed youkai tribes ta they cause n' razed human settlements ta tha ground, another bangin faction had set they sights on tha forma Eastside Paradise, from far above tha skies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Fearin dat tha curse of radiation would taint they own untouched land, they prepare ta eradicate all tracez of impuritizzle from Gensokyo n' tha New World. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Nevertheless, as decades passed, tha denizenz of Gensokyo hustled ta survive one way or another up in tha New World, n' tha Outsidaz settled up in n' coexisted wit mythical creaturez of tha likez of tengu, kappa n' fairies.
Yo ass be a Celestial, a envoy from tha Dragon Palace up in a mission ta serve up a secret message. What seemed like a simple thang had taken a turn... fo' tha worse. Unbeknownst ta nuff but a select few, dis cappin' will set up in motion a incident dat will shake tha foundationz of tha Eastside Wasteland profoundly.
Okay, so wakin up's not tha weird part. Yo ass do all dat shiznit tha time, actually. Wakin up is yo' bread n' butter, by which what tha fuck you're tryin ta say is dat you wake up, n' then you smoke some bread n' butta before you jet up tha door so you don't git lata than tha late you already is fo' realz. A long time ago you was all cereal! Toast son! OJ! All part of dis balanced breakfast, but you always ended up bustin' tha fuck into where you was supposed ta be just up in tha nick of time even when you gots up early ta bother wit toast prep, so you nixed dat shit. It's not like you need suttin' up in yo' stomach anyway, up in tha mornings. It's all preference. Like shampoo.
So wakin up's not tha weird part.
Wakin up in a gangbangin' forest, though, biatch? When you're suttin' like ninety-nine cement shizzle you didn't chill like a pimp there, biatch? Totally weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dope thang you've gots a system.
First thangs first, gotta check fo' immediate complications. Yo ass feel round fo' stitches you don't remember gettin n' come up empty, which means you probably still have yo' kidneys. Or was it yo' liver, biatch? Either way, they're all three probably still up in you, unless one of mah thugs's figured up how tha fuck ta do stealth surgery, which be a legit concern but not one you can do anythang bout n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Yo crazy-ass heart's still whoopin, so you haven't been turned tha fuck into a zombie or a vampire or a zombie vampire or anythang like that; probably, again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo crazy-ass vision's keen, n' when you say “Testin testing,” it's as clear as it oughta be which takes care of hearin n' vocals all at once.
Yo crazy-ass head feels fine, which means no muthafucka clocked you when you weren't lookin though dat would've meant one mystery down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass run all up in tha vitals anyway. Yo ass remember where you grew up n' where you went ta school. Yo ass know yo' mom's name n' yo' dad's name n' tha namez of a whole lotta other playas related ta yo thugged-out ass fo' realz. And of course you know"
Whoa, hold on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Whatz yo' name again, biatch?
The opening from that one Killing Floor story in /th/.
Da outside ghetto is on tha brink of collapse. Not even a year ago, nightmarish creatures was unleashed from tha depthz of a London-based bio-engineerin company, cuz of tha actionz of its crazy CEO. Within weeks, these 'specimens' spread across tha European continent, quickly spillin over tha fuck into tha rest of tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Wars was forgotten, oldschool grudges ignored, n' previous reservations dropped as tha entire human race fought fo' game against tha horde of horrific creatures.
But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat not a single thug up in Gensokyo knows all dis bullshit. Da actionz of one Yukari Yakumo is ta blame fo' dis shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch peeped it as humans fought a losin battle on tha outside yo, but rather than lend a helpin hand, her big-ass booty simply ignored tha issue. When tha specimens reached Asia, n' mo' specifically, Japan, dat thugged-out biiiatch couldn't ignore it no mo'.
As before, outsidaz occasionally slip all up in tha border separatin Gensokyo from tha outside. This includes tha monstas currently ravagin tha outside. Da moment she aware of a specimen slippin past tha border, her dope ass destroys it, straight-up n' utterly. When tha occasionizzle human survivor findz theyselves up in Gensokyo, she on tha fuckin' down-lowly returns dem ta tha outside.
As time went on, less n' less survivors juiced it up through, n' mo' n' mo' specimens done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yukari had her handz full wit disposin of dem before mah playas encountered them, ta tha point where tha rare human dat juiced it up all up in was ignored, since tha wildlife probably finished dem off anyway fo' realz. And besides, even Yukari can't peep everywhere at once.
This is tha reason that, one day, you managed ta stumble tha fuck into dis hidden ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!
A Flea up in tha Dawg HouseAnonymous2014/11/01 (Sat) 04:54No. 21036▼
Well, you don't straight-up have any place ta bounce tha fuck out. Therez not a god damn thang ta do up in yo' room, n' tha library is still too big-ass ta check n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Yo ass should probably rap ta Remilia bout gettin time fo' dat soon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well, itz been on some thugged-out dizzle since you've peeped tha sun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So you decizzle ta go rap wit Meiling. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat upon nearin tha mansionz front doors, you hear a voice dat you should straight-up not be hearin under any circumstances. "-oooooon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Why can't I go insiiiiiiiide?" "Yo, I've holla'd at you already dawwwwg! Is you tryin ta make mah thang difficult?" "But Meiliiiiiiiiing!" Yo ass rush towardz tha door, almost kickin it open before you restrain yo ass. At first, tha light is blinding. But then, as yo' eyes adjust, you peep fo' realz. A hoe whoz ass should straight-up not be here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Starin up in her usual mad drama towardz yo thugged-out ass. "Cirno!" "Hayate!" Yo ass yell each otherz names up in unison. "What is you bustin here!?" "What're you bustin here!?" "Yo, I axed you first!" "No you didn't son! I axed you first!" "Yo ass should dig yo' elders!" "I be olda than you, you nitwit!" "Yo ass shizzle don't act like dat shiznit son!" "Like you one ta talk!" "What was that!?" "Yo ass heard mah crazy ass biaaatch! Baby dawwwwg! Baby!" "Come here, you-" Yo ass rush towardz Cirno, leapin off tha ground up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dive tackle towardz her yo, but you too slow, n' yo' grill hits tha dirt as she flies tha fuck into tha air. "Stupid Hayate!" Biatch sticks up her tongue at yo thugged-out ass. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat her dope ass didn't fly like high enough, so you grab her by tha shoe- "Ah, hey!" -and pull her ta tha ground. "Git off me biaaatch! Pervert son! Lecher playa! Sicko! Yo ass is gross, Hayate!" Yo ass grab Cirno n' put her tha fuck into a headlock, mercilessly rufflin her hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. "Yo, stop dat shiznit son! It tickles muthafucka! Hayaaaateeeeeeeeeeeee-!" "Ahahaha!" "Eh?" "Eh?" Yo ass n' Cirno both stop ta peep where dat noise came from. "Ahahahahaha! Yo ass two-hahahaha!" Oh, you straight-up forgot bout Meiling. Dat hoe just starin at you, bustin up her head off. Come ta be thinkin of it, you do look rather wack like all dis bullshit. Cirnoz hand is pushin tha fuck into yo' face, while you have one arm locked round her neck n' tha other hand pushed tha fuck into her hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Bein reminded dat you not so alone, you let her go. Meilin continues ta giggle up in tha background. "A-Anyway... Why is you here?" "Oh." Cirno hops up off tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "I was here ta peep Meiling! We playas, you know!" Yo ass peep Meiling, whoz ass nodz between giggles. "Anyway, dat dunkadelic hoe holla'd at mah crazy ass one of mah thugs freshly smoked up started hustlin here yo, but dat biiiiatch won't let me up in ta peep whoz ass it is muthafucka! Meilingz a meanie!" "It aint nuthin but her thang ta not let playas in, Cirno. Besides, why did you care whoz ass started hustlin here?" "Bitch holla'd dat shiznit was a muthafucka! I thought he must be one of mah thugs special ta start hustlin here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. Ah, come ta be thinkin of it, what tha fuck is you bustin here?" Oh Cirno, you dolt. "I be hustlin here." "WHAAAAAAAAT!, biatch? NO WAY!" Cirno blasts yo' ears wit her yell of surprise. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch fluttas round you, lookin at yo' clothes. "Yo, stop dis shit." "Wooooooow. Well, yo' threadz look cool. But why'd they hire yo slick ass, biatch? Yo ass is straight-up useless." Do you have any concept of boundaries, Cirno!? "...Remilia axed mah crazy ass ta work here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. And I accepted." Cirno be thinkin fo' a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And like usual, it only takes dat long before her concentration is broken. "Oh, oh! Do you be thinkin you can git me a thang there?" "What?" "Yo ass know, as a maid hommie! I've always wanted ta try dat son! Their costumes is so cute!" "Cirno, I.." "Come ooooooooooon! Pleaaaaaaaaaaaase?" Bitch hovers up in front of y'all wit pleadin eyes.
[ ] "...I be bout ta rap ta Remilia bout dat shit." [ ] "No way."