Archived Thread

File 126887024824.jpg - (5.58KB , 103x145 , Reimu.jpg ) [iqdb]
1445 No. 1445
This is another short story; I have never written anything here before, and don't understand how to make a good story at all. I am sorry for being a "newfag", so please bear with me. That being said, here's the story:

You are (lost) in the forest of magic, and are starving. The forest is so dense that even the sun can't shine through. You see some various colored berries all around you. Finally, you see a western-styled house in the distance.

[x]Eat the red berries.
[x]Eat the green berries.
[x]Eat the yellow berries.
[x]Walk to the western-styled house.
[x]Something else.

No. 1446
[X]Walk to the western-styled house.

Obvious choice is obvious.
No. 1448
I guessing this choice is for who we'll first meet.

>[x]Someone/Something else.

Given what board this is on, I vote to keep things (relatively) color-coordinated:

[x] Eat the self-proclaimed perfect and elegant blue berry.
No. 1449
I will be counting the votes tomorrow. By the way, what does the NSFW button do? (Like I said, I have NEVER written anything here before.)
No. 1450
*edit* Nevermind, I found out. Sorry for double-posting BTW.
No. 1451
File 126888473578.jpg - (88.53KB , 260x260 , 1202704163734.jpg ) [iqdb]
go back to 4chan YAF
No. 1452
File 126888478713.png - (150.33KB , 462x495 , trollz.png ) [iqdb]
This is just too obvious.

you should try harder.
No. 1453
[x]Walk to the western-styled house.
No. 1454
[x]Eat the red berries.
No. 1455
It's not as obvious as you might think ;P
No. 1457
Okay, the votes are counted, not more votes will be counted. I'll get back to you in a short while for the CYOA.
No. 1458
File 126894197585.jpg - (4.74KB , 116x116 , Shinki.jpg ) [iqdb]
[x]Walk to the western-styled house.

You decide to walk towards the western-styled house. Along the way, you see some mushrooms, but despite your hunger, you decide to ask for food at the house. When you get there, you expect to see Alice, (since you already know about Gensokyo through games and the like), but you unexpectedly see Shinki and Yumeko! You know they're the people of makai, and you are frozen in fear.

[]Run away.
[]Run away while screaming in fear.
[]Try to have a conversation, (maybe they're nice).
[]Something else.
No. 1459
[X]Try to have a conversation, (maybe they're nice).
No. 1460
[x] Try to have a conversation (you're too hungry to care if they're nice or not).
No. 1464
[X]Try to have a conversation, (maybe they're nice).
No. 1465
[x]Try to have a conversation, (maybe they're nice).
No. 1467
[]Something else.
No. 1468
Okay, the votes are counted, so all following votes are useless.
No. 1469
File 126902936281.jpg - (5.38KB , 116x116 , Yumeko.jpg ) [iqdb]
You need to specify the "something else" you are voting for.


[x]Try to have a conversation, (maybe they're nice).

You decide that even though they are scary, you are too hungry to care. Also, you presume that they may be unexpectedly nice. Yumeko demands, "Who are you, and what is your purpose here?" At this point, you figure that you should tell the truth, or they mighty shoot you down. You reply, "Hello my name is Untitled, nice to meet you. I am starving, and might die without a meal. I am also lost in the Forset of Magic, with nowhere else to eat. Will you please share your meal with me?" Yumeko looks a little displeased wityh your repsonse, and you look very worried. Shinki then says Yumeko, don't be so rude to our guest, he is starving and has nowhere else to eat! Assist him now!" Yumeko then sighs with a slight annoyance. She replies, "Very well. I will serve lunch to our new guest," and then walks inside. Shinki then tells you, "Sorry for her rude manners, I would've expected more from her by now. I hope you will enjoy the meal." You then reply, ...

[]"Sorry for the intrusion; I am thankful for your hospitality."
[]"Well, it's about time you served me! I was beginning to think you weren't going to.
[]"Actually, now that I think about it, give me (specify) for lunch."
[]Something else. (specify)
No. 1470
[]"Actually, now that I think about it, give me eggs for lunch."
No. 1471
[]"Sorry for the intrusion; I am thankful for your hospitality."

Let's not abuse our kind hostess's hospitality or do you want to feel the wrath of proto-sakuya?
No. 1472
[]"Actually, now that I think about it, give me eggs for lunch."

Sorry, I'm not used to it. Am I doing it right this time?
No. 1474
Sure memes are funny and all but if they're overused, they'll get really boring.
No. 1475
Actually, what I'm saying is IF you pick the "Something else." choice, you need to tell me WHAT that something else is. If you don't pick the last choice, then you can just copy what I said for the other choices.

By the way, I'm going to give you two days instead of one for this, so be sure to vote!
No. 1476
[X]"Sorry for the intrusion; I am thankful for your hospitality."
No. 1477
File 126915197219.jpg - (21.51KB , 200x250 , constructivecriticism.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 1482
First of all, that doesn't sound like constructive criticism at all, it sounds more like complaining without reason. Also, I can't change it without knowing WHY it sucks. Lastly, a lot of people are voting and giving it a chance, so apparently it's not as bad as you make it sound.
No. 1483
It's a tie, so the next vote wins!
No. 1484
[X]"Sorry for the intrusion; I am thankful for your hospitality."
No. 1485
Okay, the votes are counted, so no more voting.
No. 1486

Don't make the same mistakes I did.
No. 1487
File 126920759553.jpg - (4.53KB , 150x114 , dinner table.jpg ) [iqdb]
[x]"Sorry for the intrusion; I am thankful for your hospitality."

Shinki replies, "Think nothing of it! You are our guest, and it would be rude of us to not serve you." "Dinner's ready!", shouts Yumeko. You normally wouldn't ask for a meal, but you might die without getting some soon. Shinki escorts you to the table, and you all start eating. While eating, you are intrigued to ask about them, but you have so many questions, that you can't think of what to ask first. "Umm, I have a question," you say. Shinki pleasantly replies, "Yes? What is it?", while Yumeko just stares at you with dislike.

[]"Why are you at Alice's house?"
[]"Where is Alice, and why isn't she here?"
[]"Why are you staring at me, Yumeko? It's very rude."
[]Something else. (specify)
No. 1488

What mistakes exactly? I love your writing, from what I've read, and it always interesting. Please specify, so I can at least be a tolerable writer!
No. 1489

The whole "sudden death" voting is a good start. That's a bit of a dick move, depending on the situation. If you need to break a tie it's better to flip a coin or just keep waiting it out, usually the former.

There's more, but I think it'd be more prudent to let anon tell you when the time comes. You're still budding. No need to do it all at once.
No. 1490
[]"Why are you at Alice's house?"
[]"Where is Alice, and why isn't she here?"
No. 1491

Hmm, you have a good point there. I'll be looking forward to your input, so please keep helping me with this story when the time comes. Also, I'm just wondering if I shouldn't even create a "bad" option that Anons pick to make the story funny (and aimless). Or, if they do pick it, I could create a bad ending anyways.
No. 1495
[x]"Where is Alice, and why isn't she here?"
[x]"Why are you staring at me, Yumeko? It's very rude."

If we seem to know Alice then we know why Shinki's here.
No. 1497
Well, it's been about a day, and only one person updated. I guess I'll have to wait another day or two to update. Please vote everyone!
No. 1499
[x] "Where is Alice, and why isn't she here?"
[x] "Why are you staring at me, Yumeko? It's very rude."
No. 1500
[x]"Why are you staring at me, Yumeko? It's very rude."
No. 1501
[x]"Where is Alice, and why isn't she here?"
No. 1502
I still need more votes, so I'm giving everyone one more day. Be sure to vote!(x2)
No. 1503

No. 1504
....Sorry, it didn't work.Someone please tell me how to use those types of settings, so I can use them in my stories.
No. 1505
The closing tag needs a forward slash. For example, [/b] to end bold. Info on that and most other things you'd need are under the FAQ on the main page.

Also, you should use a trip code if you're going to write. Unfortunately, that's not in the FAQ and I only have a vague idea of how to use them, so I'd suggest using the IRC app (again on the main page) to ask someone.

As a final point of advice, I'd recommend picking a couple of the sites more renowned stories and reading them as soon as possible (SDM:LA, ASSM, RaAN, CUtMaS, Fallout, The Game, and Lighthouse being just a few), there's a lot to be learned from example, and it'll give you some insight into what makes a strong story, as well as how anon tends to operate here.

The archives (along with other handy info) can be found here: >>/gensokyo/1351
No. 1506
To get a trip, you type the following into the name box:


Make sure to use the same password from now on, and you'll be recognized as yourself.
No. 1507
WOW! You are EXTREMELY helpful!!! TYVM for the information, I got even more info. than I could ever hope to get. I'll be sure to read those stories over spring break too! Hold on, let me try bold and others.

No. 1508
It worked! Again, TYVM. In other news, I'll be sure to update today.
No. 1509
What are the rulings for the winning votes? Is it first 3 to win?
No. 1510
The votes are counted. No more voting.
The rulings are the majority whenever I count the votes. OR, sometimes it'll be the first vote, depending on how good the vote is in my opinion.
No. 1511
File 126946136035.jpg - (3.19KB , 112x136 , Alice Margatroid.jpg ) [iqdb]
Well, this is the 50th reply!, (unless my replies don't count.) Anyways, here's the story.


[x] "Where is Alice, and why isn't she here?"
[x] "Why are you staring at me, Yumeko? It's very rude."

Getting the courage to finally talk to them properly, you ask, "Where is Alice, and why isn't she here?" The others look suprised by your question. Yumeko especially stares at you so intensely that you would think her stare would burn a hole through you. Shinki replies, "Well, I have no idea as to why you even know Alice, but she is my daughter, and I raised her for ten years in a place called Makai. Furthermore, after we raised her for ten years, she insisted that she wanted to move to Gensokyo permenantly. Six months before she moved to Gensokyo, she had successfully turned into a youkai by picking up the forbidden grimoire and reading it. After she read the grimoire, it turned into The Grimoire of Alice. Anyway, I suddenly wanted to visit her, and took a seven day trip to Gensokyo by a certain convenient ship that just happened to pass by." Yumeko continues, (very unpleasantly I might add), "When we finally arrived in Gensokyo and came to her house, it turned out she wasn't here. We are currently awaiting her return in her house." Yumeko was still staring at me wityh her watchful eyes, so I decided to ask her to lay off. I told her, "Why are you staring at me, Yumeko? It's very rude." She replied, ...
[]"You are a stranger to us, and I am very distrusting to you."
[]"You see, it is all part of my ingenious plan to waste your time."
[]Something else. (specify)
No. 1512
[x]"You see, it is all part of my ingenious plan to waste your time."

Interesting taking Yumeko's viewpoint.
No. 1513
[x]"You see, it is all part of my ingenious plan to be socially awkward."
No. 1515
[] "Why are you here anyway, ...Untitled? If it's your real name."
No. 1516
Well, I can't count the votes if there's three different ones, so apparently I can't update today. Be sure to keep voting! By the way, it has finally come to 50 posts! Now you can use the "last 50 posts" button!
No. 1517
When running low on votes (/blue/ isn't exactly an active board) many authors have gone with either the first vote, whichever will help move the story along the best, or whichever they feel like writing. The idea being to simply keep the story moving in the hopes that keeping pace will draw in more potential voters. You are the one writing this, so remember that everything is at your discretion.

Alternatively, you could declare a short hiatus and start putting time into reading those recommended stories now. You would benefit greatly from a better understanding of how stories and their readers here operate. Be aware that there's a wealth of information in the posts other than the story updates themselves, so be sure to read the votes and discussion/commentary/criticisms that came along with them.

As a final point, while it may seem counter-intuitive, around here no uses the Email field to actually put their e-mail address. We use it to sage, or to hide not clever messages in, but most of the time we leave it blank, and actually putting a genuine, bonafide, e-mail address in there is generally frowned upon.
No. 1518
I understand your viewpoints, and will be sure to use them in certain circumstances. HOWEVER, I have no idea what you meant when you said, "We use it to sage", so could you please explain what that means? For now, I'll just have to put random stuff in there (like right now). Furthermore, I will try to read the stories suggest by 1505 over spring break, but a week isn't even CLOSE to the amount of time I would need to read all those stories thoroughly. Lastly, why is putting your e-mail frowned upon? Again, thank you for your feedback, and I will be looking forward to even more to try to make at least a decent story.
No. 1519
If you're not sure of what to use it for, just leave the email field blank.

"sage" (without the quotes) can be entered into the email field to prevent your post from bumping a thread. This means the thread will stay where it is instead of moving to the top of the board. At 250 posts (247 not shown) a thread will enter auto-sage, which means the thread cannot be bumped regardless and will continue to fall behind new posts. Generally, at this point it means a new thread should be started.

Not entering your actual email is generally a good idea because imageboards, unlike forums, are not protected in any way, and as such, things like spiders, trolls, and other unsavory scripts and/or people have free access to any information posted on them, including anything in the email field. It's frowned upon because doing so is simply asking for your inbox to be flooded with spam of one form or another.

Emoticons are not to be used. There is no "why" here, it's just a matter of "don't do it or you'll piss off the locals." Here's a list of the few emoticons that are allowed, use sparingly:
(some 2-chan ones)

If you're going to write here you need to be more than a little thick-skinned and willing to take criticism. Your attitude seems good and you claim you're eager to improve, which is a large part of why I've been willing to help so much. The rest being that this site lacks a decent FAQ to tell newcomers these things, and doing this has helped me compile some notes for what I hope will eventually be a comprehensive list of things someone should know before writing here. So thank you for that much, but do keep in mind that the feedback and help you've gotten here so far is an exception, and far from the norm. The fact of the matter is, had you started this on almost any other board, you would have gotten significantly more responses similar to >>1477.

Don't get me wrong, this community is without a doubt a good one, but to the uninformed outsider it can seem extremely hostile... almost like Gensokyo itself in some respects. Which is why I strongly suggest you read at least three stories before attempting to seriously write here. I'll even narrow it down for you and recommend Expectation of Sanguine Disorder (aka SDM:LA) by Hungry Youkai, A Scarlet-Stained Memoir by U.N.Owen, and Retrospective and Astronomical Narraration by !T1e/DmU8Jg (aka blankfag ;_;). I specifically recommend these three because, in addition to having high-quality writing, they demonstrate several important elements unique to writing on this site:
-How wildly the characterizations of a single character can vary between authors.
-Both good (SDM:LA) and bad (ASSM) examples of author-voter communication, and the consequences of such.
-Shitstorms and how they can be handled well, poorly, or allowed to escalate to the point it destroys the story entirely (RaAN).
-What not to do in letting life and emotions choose or change the direction of your story (ASSM)

There's plenty more in there I've missed, but this will at least get you started.
No. 1520
Just write more, troll less, YAF.
No. 1521
I thank you wholeheartedly for the tips you've given me. I'll try to read those stories over sping break, but I won't make any promises. Also, I will NOT use any emoticons, so don't even expect them. I will always put "sage" for the e-mail from now on, so don't worry about me bumping the thread anymore. On the other hand, other Anons might still bump it. Lastly, I hope you can persuade a moderator to make a FAQ based on what you compiled and will complie later. P.S. I PURPOSELY made this story on this board; partly because the character will travel a lot, and partly because of the thread I read on the first page, telling me how much people care for good stories.

P.S.SHow do I know when to create a new paragraph, so it won't become a huge mess of words?
No. 1522
YAF was never quite this dumb.
No. 1523
Generally when a different person is speaking or a scene change.
No. 1524
Well, since I'm going to read those stories over sprink break, I'm not going to update the story for a week. Voting is still allowed, and I will still answer questions for people who ask.
No. 1525
Update this story will you?
No. 1567
File 127057686877.jpg - (8.58KB , 148x111 , Reimu Hakurei.jpg ) [iqdb]
Well, I went to San Diego to celebrate Passover with my grandparents, and they don't like anyone using their computers. As a result, I couldn't read the stories you told me about. Anyways here's the story.


[x]"Why are you here anyway, ...Untitled? If it's your real name."

You are in a major pinch! Your secret identity was blown, and you can no longer act as planned! You replied, "Well...uh, sorry, I have to go!" You run out as fast as you can, and eventually, you think you are safe from them. Then, unexpectedly, you see Reimu Hakurei in the distance! You try to run away as fast as your legs can carry you, but she catches up to you. She asks with a knowing grin, "Why are you disguised as an unnamed human from the real world, Starlight Starsapphire!?" Oh no! Your cover is completely and utterly blown! You can no longer stay inside Gensokyo anymore.


[]Go back one step.
[]Go back more steps. (specify)
No. 1568
File 127060580482.jpg - (140.22KB , 887x565 , 1253658818013.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 1571
This thread is conceptual art.
No. 1573
[]Go back more steps. (5)
No. 1575
[x] Learn not to write asspull bad ends.
No. 1628
Already said it in the title. Sorry, but if no one wants me to continue my story, then I won't continue it. I will check every few days to see if a get a fan.
No. 1629
Did you even realize what you did wrong? You're lucky your story hasn't been sage bombed to hell.
No. 1634
You're irrational.

You're asking me, a being of free will, to choose to oscillate for you?

Well, fuck you, buddy.
No. 1635
File 127172556773.jpg - (29.29KB , 356x427 , Big-Fan.jpg ) [iqdb]
No. 1638
Sorry, but I need a Japanese fan. Thanks anyways. Try to get an old-fashioned one if possible!