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That broken word remains clear in her gathered thoughts.
If a human sees her now, they'd think she was a lost child. If a human sees where she is, they'd think they were in a forest underwater. In the glaze of aqua shining from the leaves of the trees, the dew of the flowers, This is where it's going to happen, in the middle of night at this wonderland. A secluded area of Gensokyo, but not unknown to all youkai. A place to collect oneself. A space to experiment, where nature would provide and heal any wound.
With gentle footsteps, Suika hears Yukari approach her.
“My.” The gap youkai closes her parasol. “This is quite the sight, isn't it?”
It's not a question more than it is surprise. Not just because of what Suika is doing, but because of how she's doing it.
Legs crossed, the oni leans back against the tree glowing with an aquamarine tint. Her hand clasps around the gourd, which lands bottom first with a thunk on the hard earth. Ignoring Yukari for the moment, Suika closes her eyes and takes a long swig. When she gasps after drinking, she hangs her head before shifting her eyes to the approaching youkai.
With an unreadable expression, Yukari stands over her friend.
“How much have you gathered?” The gap youkai smells the alcohol in the air, heavy enough to kill a human.
The oni drops her hand in her lap, sake splashing over the top of the gourd. “I'mmm not...gathering anythinggg like that. What are youuu...talking about?”
Banging her head into the tree, Suika takes another swig from her gourd. Yukari sets her parasol on the ground, opening a gap to sit on beside her friend's head.
“There must be something on your mind, if you of all people have come here. And have gone into such a state." Yukari decides not to point out the state of her friend. "What is the matter?”
In almost slow motion, Suika's eyes droop shut and open.
It would be simple if it was just “a matter”. But she doesn't mean it in a mean spirited way.
“Ohhh, you knowww.” Suika coughs twice, a drool of sake spilling from the corner of her mouth. The oni points at the sky. “You'd knowww, dontcha Yukarrri? I haven't told you, but,” She sniffs, folding her hand in her lap before drooping her head again, “you'd know....”
Reaching in her gap, Yukari pulls out a cup of tea to drink. After a sip, she hums with her lips on the rim.
“What would I know?”
“Youuuu knowww.” Suika heaves a long, heavy sigh. “There's no waaay you wouldn't knowww....”
“Ah, I see.”
The buzzing shifts around the oni's head.
Is that all that can be said? “Ah, I see.” As if she could resolve the problem with words alone.
Yukari drinks until her cup is empty, before dropping it in the gap. Suika sniffs her nose, the red in her face fading.
“And what would you have me do? Knowing what you know?”
“That you...you,” Suika slaps Yukari's thigh with her other hand, “should give up on that ghost. Why do you have to torture yourself over someone,” Her hand grips her friend's thigh harder, “like that?”
“She is an old friend.” Yukari explains, hands folded on her knee. Her eye watches as the oni's grip strengthens. “And someone I care for greatly.”
“Oh, and I'm not?”
“Such a statement is unbecoming of an oni.”
“YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!”
The oni slams her hand on Yukari. But what should've burst open a human's thigh claps down on the youkai's dress as though it were a friendly pat.
Why does she have to complicate things like that?
The steady expression on Yukari's face masks her thoughts. With a sideways glance, she watches Suika toss her gourd to the side. A line of trees in the distance splinter in half.
“You expect me to believe you'd care for that woman for this long,” Suika barks as the sound of crashing wood falls around them, “and still be treated like you are now? Is that fair to you?”
“...You know what she's—”
“—And I don't give a damn!” Suika cuts Yukari off. “She just goes on without a care about you or what you've gone through!”
Suika snatches her rebounding gourd from the air as she feels a pressure bear down on her shoulders. The oni drinks, ignoring the glare behind the pressure.
“...That's not true.”
Not true, huh? Yeah, that'd sound right, with how the two dance around with their words. As if there's something that can be accomplished by doing so.
Suika snorts at the anger in Yukari's words.
“You can't be sure of that. You can't be sure of anything about her.” The oni snorts again in laughter. Defiance. “Meanwhile, you're just living on with her as if everything's alright.”
The pressure fades after Suika lets out another long, shuddering sigh.
“I don't get why you two can be like that.”
Yukari glances up and away at a the remains of a tree. “It's simply a matter of trust.”
“That,” Suika raises her gourd and takes a drink, “is shaky trust if you ask me.”
“And yet you understand that it is trust nonetheless. Much like you and any other oni. Much like you and I.”
Suika stands up. With two quick steps, she straightens herself in front of Yukari. The gap youkai sits low enough that they stare straight at the other's eyes.
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“Have you always been honest with me?”
“I'm always honest with what I do.”
“Then you are a hypocrite.”
Suika's palm crashes into the tree behind Yukari's head. The gap youkai stares back as unaffected as she would be listening to a conversation about the weather. Even if the oni's shoulders heave with frustration.
Suika speaks no less than ten centimeters from Yukari's face. “Are you telling me I can do what I want?”
“Why,” Yukari's eyes glitter in the moonlight, the aqua rays reflecting from the world around them, “I have never said I would refuse someone. Much less a friend.”
“A friend, huh. A friend.”
Suika's hand pulls back, before taking a hold of her friend's chin.
“Is that what that woman is, too?” The oni draws closer.
Yukari's eyelashes flutter slow, once.
“How cruel.” Suika's eyes begin to close. “I don't like playing your dumb games.”
“I have never treated anything frivolously.”
“That. It's that. You're just...so....”
Their eyes close. Suika positions her hips between Yukari's legs, to come closer. The taste of alcohol. The lukewarm glow of the lights hovering around. The shuffle of lips and breathing. Yukari allows the oni to caress her cheek, taking her waist into the other hand. Opening her mouth and feeling rather than pushing or licking her tongue around the other woman. Her lips close and touch when Suika's tongue retreats. Her head tilts and her lips open when it returns.
The moment washes over Yukari until Suika pulls away, breathing soft into the gap youkai's mouth.
Yukari scratches her chest once with a hand. “You know. What should I tell her?”
“I don't give a damn.” Suika's eyes narrow in disgust. “I don't want her touching you anyway.”
“You're damn right it is.” The oni leans in for a moment. When she reopens her eyes, she snorts. “If she has a problem, she answers to me.”
With a hand, Suika pushes hard on Yukari's shoulder. The gap youkai falls to the side with an playful “oh” as her back pats onto the ground. A gap spreads large enough to cover the earth as she lies straight, one leg propping over the other.
Suika slams her hand beside her friend's head again, staring into her eyes.
"I hate it."
Yukari slips her finger and tugs at Suika's blouse. "You don't hate me."
"Why not me?" Suika rips Yukari's clothes open, leaving her friend's breasts hanging from the torn fabric. "Is there something wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you."
Suika feels her body exposed to the air, naked before she's aware that she is. Yukari lays her hands across her stomach after unclothing the oni with a finger.
She replies to Suika's question with a dead smile.
With nothing to say, Suika latches onto one of Yukari's breasts. Her lips suck on skin while pulling the nipple with her mouth and teeth. She feels Yukari grab her hips, thrusting her chest upwards. The oni reaches through the gap beneath them to wrap her arm around Yukari's back, pulling her closer.
Wanting. Wanting more of something that can't be obtained. Yukari isn't giving her body out of love. Give all the love can be given, and know that nothing will be given. It's not fair. This moment is all that can be received. The soft taste of Yukari's breasts, full and ripe from age and experience. Because sex is all that can be obtained, indulge in that intoxication before it disperses. Burn in the heat of this dense mass of desire and melt. It's not fair.
Suika bites down.
Yukari moans while bringing a hand up to stroke Suika's head. A thumb and finger twist and pinch one of the oni's horns. A tingle of pleasure runs down the horn into Suika's head. She hums on her friend's breast, and Yukari responds by placing a leg over Suika's.
"Is she gentle?" The oni's whisper breathes warmth onto her friend's body. "You don't like it rough?"
Rubbing her leg up and down Suika's back, Yukari droops her with narrowed eyes.
"It makes no difference."
Suika thrusts her lips into Yukari's neck, and both of them groan.
With a shudder and another groan, the oni shifts her lower body just enough to grind herself on a thigh. Suika rubs herself up and down that mass of satisfying flesh, her own wetness spreading to her thighs. The hand on a breast drifts down to stroke Yukari, while her other hand caresses her friend's cheek. Yukari bites on the oni's thumb, cradling the wrist while licking and sucking around the nail.
It's frustrating. But there's no complaint. Rather the same treatment she gives that woman than being pitied by gaps. If that kind of play went on, it would be worse than being touched by Yukari while she was still wearing her gloves. Of course, that's under the assumption Yukari also sucks on that woman's thumb. That she also licks a web of saliva between that thumb and a forefinger. That Yukari also laps at her palm, biting gentle and tantalizing on her wrist, right over the sensitive vein. It's frustrating.
Yukari's giggles as her fingers rub her neck. Suika swallows while sitting on her friend's thigh, looking down at where she bit hard. Taking a couple of fingers into her mouth, the oni shifts on top until both of them are facing the other's legs. Her wet fingers scoop into Yukari, easing inside despite the lack of natural lubrication.
If Yukari was any tighter than this, there wouldn't be any bad thoughts. That's not saying anything bad about Yukari. That's just another part of her. Yes. Just like those unladylike moans, more like some kind of feral cat meowing. More like a little girl.
Suika pets the gap youkai's insides, Yukari's legs bucking and twitching upwards with every inward stroke—
The oni shuts her mouth, but the air bursts through her mouth at the feel of one finger poking into her. Her head sinks as something small and wet laps at that pleasurable spot above her entrance. The oni's fingers grip the house of flesh around them, and Yukari's thigh bumps into Suika's cheek.
Fingering the gap youkai with two fingers, Suika brings her face close enough to start licking at a small, erect lump of flesh. Her two fingers rub against her cheek while her tongue flicks the sensitive bulb. Yukari moans. With the first moan, the gap youkai pushes her finger in halfway. With a second, she sinks her finger in full. Suika groans when Yukari moans a third time as two more fingers slide into her. The oni's own saliva and a somewhat sharp taste of her friend's folds drip past the base of her tongue. Her legs kick up into the air as Yukari's three middle fingers scoop at her insides. The front of all three fingers together press along her walls, and the rush of pleasure spikes into Suika's head.
Suika throws her head back and release a pitiful groan. Her body seems to split apart from the nerve-wracking pleasure breaking her to pieces. The origin of it all continues to disperse the shockwaves to the rest of her body: Yukari tilts her head down to look at her friend, her blond hair falling over Suika's waist.
But only this much would be selfish.
“Come over here.”
Suika wraps her hands around Yukari's thighs. The gap youkai kneels, before turning around on her knees. As though offering herself to the oni, Yukari runs her hands up her own thighs. She lowers herself toward Suika's mouth.
Suika closes her eyes and begins to feast on the desire offered to her. Her moan shudders into her friend as her tongue wastes no time licking quick and deep inside the folds. Her head still, Suika focuses on her tongue's movements. Every so often, she opens her eyes to stare at Yukari's face. Eyes closed, Yukari's voice fills Suika's ears, breaking the boundary of the oni's lust without actually manipulating any boundaries.
Would it be ridiculous to say that Yukari's pleasured moans is music to the ears? So light, sweet, and not at all showing of her long life. Rather, she heaves her chest and sings her pleasure like some young human girl basking in the dense pleasure of love and sex. Even if that love belongs to one person.
Suika's eyebrows lower as she focuses on bringing Yukari over the edge.
No. Yukari will scream loud enough for that woman to hear.
The oni's hands clasp under and over Yukari's thighs. Holding her in place, Suika doubles her speed and intensity. Without knowing Yukari's preferences, Suika knows her efforts have an effect by the thin and wet taste of Yukari's fluids running over her mouth and down her cheeks. She takes and holds a deep breath before putting all her energy into her tongue. A sore ache blisters into her mouth, but in exchange, Yukari grinds herself up and down the oni's face and screams.
Just as intended. A piercing wail that many youkai would kill to hear from Yukari, under the circumstance that they were actually killing her. But hearing this was more satisfying in another way.
After listening to a few, stuttered moans from her friend, Suika slides herself far enough to cross her legs under and over Yukari's. Without a word, she grabs Yukari's wrist and begins grinding against her. A horizontal grinding that Yukari reciprocates with an opposite movement. Both leverage themselves over the gap bed beneath them with their other arm, using their elbow to support their bodies. Suika throws her head to the side, hair falling over her shoulder at the warm grind of pleasure accumulating in her loins.
Sure, their bodies didn't match in physical comparison. But mentally? It's more than enough. If it wasn't, then how could this warm bundle of pleasure grow between their hips? How could the both of them moan in pleasure, writhing on the ground with their hands and feet? Why could sweat enter and be tasted in one's mouth? Yukari couldn't be spoken for, but there was enough emotion and devotion here to show that this was real.
Suika braces a foot and her other hand for the end. She prepares her lungs by taking in a large breath of air. She savors the smell of sweat and sex, that of Yukari's body. The way the gap youkai's fingers hold tight onto Suika's wrist. Yukari's hips push against the oni's, a solid form of warmth and heat as the pleasure disperses.
Two voices became one.
The flashes of pleasure blink as fast and as quick as they stop. Suika's chest heaves up and down as her body shivers from the passing wind. Her hand grasps at her own stomach, noticing that Yukari's wrist was no longer in her hold.
The oni notices Yukari standing over her.
The gap under Suika shrinks, but gives her a blanket against the dirt and grass. Yukari stands in front of her, fully clothed and umbrella opened in her hands. The umbrella hangs behind the gap youkai's head, and Suika can't help but look at the lack of expression on her friend's face.
Yukari isn't angry or annoyed, of course. It's not pity, and it's definitely not hiding happiness or satisfaction.
Suika sits up. Yukari takes three steps, the fourth moving past the oni.
Hanging her head, gritting her teeth, Suika clenches her hands.
“Why not me?”
She turns on her fists and knees. Watching her friend. Watching her friend walk away.
Did that make things better or worse? Not that it mattered, in comparison.
Suika drops to her knees, holding her chest.
"Why not ME?!"
The all-too-familiar pain bleeds under her breast. A ridiculous idea, until it was felt for the first time. The first time that it was realized Yukari gave her affection for that woman. The warm sweat and afterglow already fade with the passing of time, so no other method remains to escape that bleeding pain trickling down her stomach. A chill that leaves her alone, wondering.
Shuddering in the cold and silence, Suika's forehead hits the ground. Even if the gap wasn't there, the earth would not become wet. The flow instead goes down her cheeks. The weight behind her eyes fooling her to the idea that the stream could fall to the ground.
How? How could Yukari's decision be so cruel? But how could her thoughts about that slovenly woman be hated? That kind of affection. Did the world think it was something unreachable, unfathomable for anyone else? That she couldn't possibly be jealous?
Aah. Maybe that was the case. Maybe it was fair, after gathering everything that could be gathered. Because this was all that could be attained for someone who could never be believed to be with that majestic, mysterious youkai.
Suika thought all of this and everything previous as the gentle footsteps fade.