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File 128638007091.jpg - (568.61KB , 880x720 , freedumb.jpg ) [iqdb]
43348 No. 43348 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Yeah, that’s right. <i>THAT’S WHAT JUST HAPPENED, BITCHES!</i>

I’m allow to question it in retrospect. You’re not. Did <i>you</i> vote for it? Didn’t think so. So let’s STOP!




<strike>HAMMERTIME</strike> CONTINUE!

Faggotry aside, I should probably-maybe-kinda write some junk since I’m here, yah? I mean, that’s what you do around here, right? I just got here; I haven’t really browsed the story archives yet and probably never will. They’re probably full of crud; thank you very much Mr. Sturgeon. Don’t expect any of that lame meta-crap from me, that stuff kills stories dead and who would even find that funny? Yeah, that’s not happening here; I point my middle finger in a completely random direction for your sake, like http://www.touhou-project.com/sdm/res/42738.html

Here’s how this works:
A) Text adventure in the SDM.
B) BAD ENDS everywhere. You’ll lose points.
3) You don’t want to lose points.
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>> No. 43738
[x] Turn back time.
>> No. 43746
N

About fucking time. Never return here Flandre. Ever.
>> No. 43830
And NOTHING OF VALUE was LOST.


File 128527632353.png - (354.04KB , 600x600 , DerpWarsTitle3.png ) [iqdb]
42738 No. 42738 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
The derp, which becomes a new derp itself, will be called… nothing.

Illustrating absurdity by being absurd. Delivered straight to your face at the speed of fail.

And isn’t actually as good as it seems. What is this you don’t even.

Probably won’t get through all the characters before the author decides to face full life consequences.

And a bunch of a lot more you didn’t come here to read.

Can you detect formatting lines when you see them?
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>> No. 43474
[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW, ? SPD, ? FOC
>> No. 43477
>>43449
So be it. Previous vote deleted, ALL IN

[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW, ? SPD, ? FOC
>> No. 43479
[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW, ? SPD, ? FOC


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38133 No. 38133 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Previous thread:
>>33060

This is my best guess at reading into your explanations for refusing.



[X] Refuse her


“I can’t. I can’t sleep with some girl I barely even know!” Even if it is one this good looking. “I mean, I’m flattered by the offer and all, I guess, but I’m not going to take something just because I can get it! Sex isn’t that simple! You don’t have sex with someone because you have a chance to, you do it with them because you lo—” No, too strong. “—like each other!” That’s it. What else can you say?
Koakuma looks at you, somewhat startled by the outburst. Then she grins. That’s a devil’s grin. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”
Pow. She sees straight through you. Is that such a virgin thing to think!? “I don’t want to hear that from a person trying this desperately to get someone in bed with her!”
The smile doesn’t even waver. “Ooooh, you’re turning green.”
“I am not!”
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>> No. 45199
>>45174
>Going back and make previous updates better
>It's not dead yet

You cannot fathom the amount of joy I am experiencing right now.
>> No. 46132
when is the update?
>> No. 46285
how many months has it been now? two?


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39444 No. 39444 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
[x] Sakuya should be in the kitchen, go see what else you can do.

Sakuya's the head maid around here, so naturally she should be the one that knows what needs to be done. She might have something in mind for you to do as well. You make your way up and out of the library basement, and take a quick trip across almost the entire length of the house to the kitchen, where you hear the sounds of movement before you even enter. When you do, you find yourself presented with a moist rag.

“Just in time!” Sakuya says happily from behind the rag, “it's time for you to do dishes.”

“Do dishes?” you repeat.

“Yep. It seems some mischievous folks came around here and cooked themselves up a breakfast on their own, and left their dishes behind,” Sakuya says, though her tone sounds more oriented towards playfulness than wonder. You're not even going to question whether or not she knows. “It's not hard, I've already filled the sinks you'll need, basically just a wipe down required, but it'll still be a good lesson on responsibilities.”

“I suppose,” you say, taking the rag. You're lead to the sinks where, sure enough, you'd left your dishes earlier. Beneath suds and water, you can see the remains. You'd never had to wash dishes before. In fact, most of the time, what dishes were used among devils were simply scraped off and something else was piled on. It was rarely a concern for you, only the more orderly devils concerned with wealth and prestige kept their implements clean, and they were typically made of precious metals. Regardless, you tend to your new task, picking up one of the plates and rubbing it with the cloth.

“Keep it somewhat submerged in the water,” Sakuya instructs, watching you from the side, “that way you can rinse off any food particles that come off, and keep soap on it.” You do as instructed, swishing around the cloth and soapy water. The plate comes clean fairly easily, which isn't that big of a deal considering the only real mess it had was a few grease spots and a patch of spilled egg yolk. “Now dip it in the clean water,” Sakuya continues her
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>> No. 42916
[X] She hasn't directly asked you, so no.
- [X] "...should I wait outside for a bit?"

Gentlemanly devil, indeed.
>> No. 42931
Normally, anything sexual involving Flandre has me frowning greatly, but with this one, it's almost funny. It totally doesn't bother me at all. I mean, I'm not getting hard just reading about it, but rather more sort of "Oh, she's like that, is she?"

I was trying to figure out why that was, why this wasn't making my skin feel all crawly, when I realized that she hasn't really displayed any childlike traits at all. In fact, she was described as a teenager; none of this loli bullshit. She doesn't talk like a child or act like a child, either.

I'm totally okay with this Flandre and the concept of sex. Congratulations, Mode. This is a first.
>> No. 42936
oh, and

[x] She hasn't directly asked you, so no.
- [x] "...should I wait outside for a bit?"

I don't see this as "gentlemanly" so much as being semi-casually asked. Like, he's not bothered by it-- by his own words, he wouldn't mind watching.

...But he can see that she's bothered by his presence, and after all, she is Destruct-O-Girl, so maybe it'd be wise to be aware of her wishes.

That's all. Not gentlemanliness, but simply wise choices and presence of mind.


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41644 No. 41644 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
Now with exactly the same about of derp as before!

And now with more lying about daily updates!

Don't do drugs! Stay in school! Take it easy! Overuse exclamation points!
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>> No. 42735
File 128527364285.png - (14.38KB , 284x189 , Derp Wed 15.png ) [iqdb]
42735
Occupied.

[ ] Share
[ ] Collaborate.
[ ] Abandon.
[ ] Dominate.
>> No. 42736
[Q] Dominate.
>> No. 42755
[x] Share


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34422 No. 34422 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
I am the bone of my update.

Text is my body, and plotholes my blood.

I have written over 30,000 words.

Unknown to endings, nor known to deadlines.

Have withstood sleep deprivation to write many stories...

...yet these hands will never know a hiatus.

So, as I pray,

The Idea of Alice, Act II!
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>> No. 42592
>>42575
I want to know about it, since Koa's willing to give Alice II plenty of love.
>> No. 42594
[X] Witch-hazel
>> No. 42604
[X] Witch-hazel


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40624 No. 40624 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
[x] Politely ask if you can visit the prisoner.

I holstered my rifle and stepped out into the open. There was no reason to sneak around like a thief in my own house.

"Hello there," I said, smiling. "How are you two doing down here?"

As soon as the fairy maid guards saw me, they both bowed politely.

"Good morning, sir," they said in unison.

"And good morning it is, apart from the rain."

I smiled at the two as I walked toward the dungeon entrance. The one on the left blushed a bit and looked away shyly. 'How cute,' I thought. And I had almost made it through when the one on the right suddenly raised her arms and blocked my path.

"W-wait!" she stammered. "We can't let you pass through here!"
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>> No. 41842
[x]Sakuya
Won't win anyway, but it's just so obviously wrong? that I have to try.
>> No. 41843
>>41835
SHHHIIITTTTT.
>> No. 41881
Next Thread: >>41880


File 128077033624.png - (325.46KB , 600x600 , DerpWarsTitleScreen.png ) [iqdb]
40914 No. 40914 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
In an alternate reality…
Where the strongest beings in Gensokyo go to college for no adequately explained reason…
Thirteen girls living together in a Greek house…
Will bicker about who’s turn it is to take the garbage out to the curb.
This is…

DERP WARS

1) YOU are a resident of the sorority house ΣΔΜ: Sigma Delta Mu. Deep down inside you love each and every one of your housemates, but that doesn’t mean they have permission to erase your whiteboard and keep stealing your deli meat from the fridge! You clearly labeled the package!

2) YOU have big plans for tonight, but if you don’t finish your prior obligations fast enough, you’ll be stuck indoors while some other girlfriend enjoys your movie tickets/spot at the bar/hot date! This is to be avoided!

3) YOU must get the better of your housemates, lest they cajole you into performing menial tasks and additional labor. Use violence, stealth, trickery, and friendship to succeed!

4) YOU have three statistics which will be used in exactly zero dice rolls and combat equations!
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>> No. 41619
>>41616
Tepes' Flandre is not the cute innocent little sister type, so that might be it.
>> No. 41642
Sage for more derp!
>> No. 41643
Additional derpage depots are required!


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35792 No. 35792 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
There are possibly hostages in one or both of the hangers. If we breach one and it’s heard by the other hanger then those hostages are as good as dead. We need to hit them both at the same time. No offence to Cirno, but Meiling seems stronger and more fit to the task of helping me if needed. I’ll go with her into the first hanger and Cirno can get the second. Apparently she’s defended herself quite well up until now, she should be okay on her own.

“I think that we should still check both hangers. I’ll go with Meiling to the first and Cirno can clear the second. If there’s any way we can do it in sync it would probably work better as well.”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll tell Cirno over the mike that we’re about to breach, and I’m sure you can handle yourself Cirno.” Cirno’s only response is thumbs up with a smile and quick hop out the door of the room to get into position.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright Tori?” Meiling asks after Cirno leaves, a little worry on her face.

“I’ll be fine. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I know I have limits.” You reassure her as you move to change the clip in your gun to one of the corrosive ones Meiling gave you before. For some reason they seem like they’ll come in handy soon. You also begin to tap into your magic. Just in case you have to you want to be ready to cast any useful spells.

You move out the door behind Meiling and cross the hall to the hanger doors. You see the panel that controls the door off to the left a little and walk over to it.

“Looks like I’m not going to be crashing this door down.” Meiling jokes from where she’s standing. She’s right at the crack between the two doors so she can rush in as soon as the doors start to open. “Cirno, we’re going now.”

You take that as the signal and pull the lever that opens the doors. A loud alarm goes off and the doors rumble the ground as they move apart. Immediately after, you can here another alarm down the hall a ways. As soon as the doors are open enough Meiling rushes in, this time with one of the assault rifles out. You wait a few seconds before fol
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>> No. 39720
[X] Back door (normal)
-Go to armory?
[x] Yes
[] no
--[x] Seal armory
--[] Break into armory
>> No. 40457
[X] Back door (normal)
-Go to armory?
[x] Yes
[] no
--[x] Seal armory
--[] Break into armory

Patiently hoping for updates ;_;
>> No. 41613
Is this going to get an update?


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41193 No. 41193 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
Even with all the preparation you, Patchouli, and the staff had made, transferring the entire mansion to Japan's sealed land, Gensokyo, had not gone perfectly. Furniture had been jostled out of place, plaster cracked, and some of the beams and columns would need to be replaced. The most bothersome part though, the task that nearly forced you to write off this ambitious move as an idle fancy, was that a new basement had to be dug at the destination, and all the old one's furnishings carried over by hand, including your younger sister's accomodations. In the day and night since the mansion's arrival, you had done almost nothing but personally see to it that the new dungeon would be able to contain her power without causing her any discomfort.

Your sister was clinging to your arm now, as you led her to her new room. The mansion's layout hadn't changed with the move, and the new basement was an exact copy of the old, to minimize her confusion, but you had blindfolded her before leading her from her temporary quarters, lest one of the maids come bustling around the corner and startle her into unleashing her powers of destruction. Any time you would blindfold her, you would ask her to merely hold your hand, but inevitably she would curl both her arms around one of yours and latch on like a vice. You knew that as the head of the household it was your duty to scold her for holding on to you in such an undignified way, but you could never muster the courage to actually do so. Instead you listened to her personal experience of the move from one of the guest rooms.

"And then the dresser finally tipped over, and it was about to land right on top of me. I kinda had to do it that time but still Onee-sama, I'm sorry about breaking upstairs furniture again."

You nod, heedless of the fact she can't see it. "So that's why you're covered in splinters, because after you broke the dresser its pieces all fell on top of you? It's good to know you weren't simply playing with the debris. It wouldn't do to be seen like that, after all."

"I, uh... Thank you Onee-sama."

"Mmm,
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>> No. 41256
>>41254
If they're not speaking in Japanese before that sentence, why does Flandre call Remilia 'Onee-sama'?
>> No. 41257
[x] "Flandre, you know you won't always be sick. When that time comes I want you to be ready to take your place by my side. And since we're in Gensokyo now, that will mean being able to speak to the locals. After I finish giving instructions the maids, I'll come help you learn the peasants' tongue."

>>41254

As long as you don't substitute in random Japanese. I am used to reading VNs that keep honorifics, but doing shit like substituting cute with kawaii drives me up a wall.
>> No. 41279
>>41254
Well, with just about enough knowledge to know 2/3 of the words, I got it's meaning. It's probably at least as grammatically correct as some of the English you see here...


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